What Do You See? | TBN

What Do You See?

Watch What Do You See?
September 5, 2016
25:45

Bridges Overcome Obstacles

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What Do You See?

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  • - Robert Fergusson: Early on
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  • the cold evening
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  • of the 16th of December, 1967,
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  • at the height
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  • of rush-hour traffic,
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  • a crowded bridge
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  • over the Ohio River
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  • collapsed without warning
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  • into the freezing waters below.
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  • It was a tragedy
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  • which would not only
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  • deeply impact
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  • the local community
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  • but the whole
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  • of the United States.
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  • On that evening a young couple
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  • were returning home with their
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  • 17-month-old daughter.
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  • After visiting family
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  • and buying Christmas presents
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  • they took the normal route
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  • across the
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  • Point Pleasant Bridge.
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  • Halfway across,
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  • as they slowed in heavy traffic,
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  • the bridge
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  • started quivering unexpectedly.
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  • The young wife said,
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  • "I wonder what we would do
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  • if this thing broke."
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  • The Silver Bridge,
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  • as it was commonly called,
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  • was constructed in 1928.
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  • It was a standard eyebar chain
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  • suspension bridge.
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  • It seemed safe,
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  • but nobody had noticed
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  • that one of those eyebars
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  • had become
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  • stressed and corroded.
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  • The cold of that December night
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  • added to the failure sensitivity
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  • of the steel.
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  • The bridge was as weak
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  • as its weakest link.
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  • When the eyebar
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  • suddenly gave way,
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  • the bridge immediately crumpled
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  • into the river
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  • along with 37 vehicles.
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  • Forty-six people
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  • died that night.
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  • Tragically, the young wife
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  • and her daughter
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  • were among them.
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  • The disaster sent shock waves
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  • around the community.
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  • Its twin bridge upstream,
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  • St. Mary's Bridge,
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  • was immediately closed.
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  • Two years later,
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  • the president set up
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  • a bridge safety panel.
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  • Clearly, a better understanding
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  • of loads and stresses was needed
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  • to build stronger bridges
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  • and avoid further disaster.
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  • Even if you or I
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  • weren't personally affected
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  • by this tragedy,
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  • it has definitely
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  • influenced our lives.
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  • The design and safety of bridges
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  • around the world
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  • was changed by this tragedy
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  • and others like it.
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  • If you've crossed
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  • a bridge recently,
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  • the lessons learned
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  • have added to your safety.
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  • However, this episode
  • 00:02:38.090 --> 00:02:40.080
  • is not about the effects
  • 00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:41.240
  • of past bridge disasters
  • 00:02:41.240 --> 00:02:43.260
  • on road safety.
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  • So why am I telling you
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  • this story?
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  • Well, bridges,
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  • their safety and strength,
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  • their construction and demise,
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  • are a parable
  • 00:02:53.280 --> 00:02:55.050
  • for how to maintain
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  • - Robert: In this program
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  • we're looking at the world
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  • with uncommon eyes.
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  • My idea is that
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  • if we're going to live the way
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  • God wants us to live,
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  • we need to look
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  • at the world differently.
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  • The focus of today's episode
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  • is bridges
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  • and what they can teach us
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  • about building
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  • strong relationships
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  • and avoiding disaster.
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  • I am Robert Fergusson,
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  • - Robert: Bridges
  • 00:03:56.080 --> 00:03:57.070
  • are a wonderful metaphor
  • 00:03:57.070 --> 00:03:58.260
  • for our relationships.
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  • They're symbolic of connection,
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  • the attraction of opposites,
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  • the joining
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  • of two separate entities.
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  • And so
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  • whatever our relationships,
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  • whether we're married,
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  • single, parent, simply a friend,
  • 00:04:12.170 --> 00:04:15.140
  • an understanding of bridges
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  • can teach us how to build
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  • better relationships.
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  • A simple definition
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  • of a "bridge" might say,
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  • "A structure which spans
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  • an obstacle such as a road
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  • or a river and provides passage
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  • over that obstacle.
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  • Or something
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  • which resembles that span
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  • either in shape or function,
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  • such as a relationship
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  • between two people."
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  • This simple definition
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  • of a bridge
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  • suggests three reasons
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  • why we build both bridges
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  • and relationships.
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  • We need them.
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  • There is an obstacle
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  • to overcome.
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  • And we require
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  • some sort of passage
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  • between two places or people.
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  • It is the second
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  • of these three reasons,
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  • the capacity of bridges
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  • to overcome obstacles,
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  • which I want to explore
  • 00:05:09.050 --> 00:05:10.230
  • in this episode.
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  • All bridges have this capacity.
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  • And all bridges
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  • have daily stresses.
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  • So why do some fall
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  • and some stand?
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  • Why do some fail
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  • and some succeed?
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  • How do they work?
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  • What makes them strong?
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  • What should we do
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  • to build strength and safety
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  • - Robert: After the break
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  • we're going to look
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  • at how bridges carry
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  • stress and load,
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  • and what this means
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  • for our relationships.
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  • Plus, we're going to speak
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  • to some friends of mine,
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  • and my wife, about marriage.
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  • How can we learn from bridges,
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  • and the mistakes
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  • that my wife and I have made?
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  • And how can we build
  • 00:05:57.000 --> 00:05:58.070
  • [music]
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  • - Robert: There are various
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  • types of bridges
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  • around the world:
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  • arch bridges
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  • like the Sydney Harbor Bridge,
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  • suspension bridges
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  • like the Golden Gate Bridge
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  • in San Francisco,
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  • cantilever bridges
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  • such as the Forth Railway Bridge
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  • in Scotland,
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  • moveable or bascule bridges
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  • such as the Tower Bridge
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  • in London.
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  • And then, of course,
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  • there is the beam bridge
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  • like the Manchac Swamp Bridge
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  • in Louisiana
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  • which carries traffic
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  • over a supposedly
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  • werewolf-haunted and definitely
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  • alligator-infested swamp.
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  • Each design has its strengths
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  • and weaknesses.
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  • However, they all work
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  • through the same principles.
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  • I am standing on a beam bridge,
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  • a plank over a stream,
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  • the simplest bridge of all.
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  • In common with all bridges,
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  • this bridge
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  • is overcoming the obstacle.
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  • In this case, a stream.
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  • As you can see,
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  • the plank is bending
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  • under my weight.
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  • The top of the plank
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  • is being pushed together.
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  • This is called "compression."
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  • The bottom of the plank
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  • is being pulled apart.
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  • This is called "tension."
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  • The strength of the bridge
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  • is measured
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  • by its capacity to withstand
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  • these two pressures:
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  • pulling and pushing.
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  • Every bridge, in fact,
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  • every building,
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  • is able to perform its function
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  • through these two
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  • simple actions:
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  • pulling and pushing.
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  • - Robert: Relationships,
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  • like bridges,
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  • are also pulled and pushed.
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  • We need these pressures
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  • in order to fulfill
  • 00:07:54.050 --> 00:07:55.140
  • our function,
  • 00:07:55.140 --> 00:07:56.190
  • in order to fulfill
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  • our potential.
  • 00:07:57.240 --> 00:07:59.150
  • Jesus' brother James wrote,
  • 00:07:59.150 --> 00:08:01.000
  • "Consider it pure joy,
  • 00:08:01.000 --> 00:08:03.260
  • my brothers, whenever you face
  • 00:08:03.260 --> 00:08:05.060
  • trials of many kinds,
  • 00:08:05.060 --> 00:08:07.040
  • because you know
  • 00:08:07.040 --> 00:08:08.150
  • that testing of your faith
  • 00:08:08.150 --> 00:08:10.080
  • develops perseverance."
  • 00:08:10.080 --> 00:08:12.110
  • Jesus said, "I have a baptism
  • 00:08:12.110 --> 00:08:14.260
  • to undergo,
  • 00:08:14.260 --> 00:08:16.070
  • and how distressed I am
  • 00:08:16.070 --> 00:08:18.060
  • until it is completed."
  • 00:08:18.060 --> 00:08:20.070
  • The word "distressed" here
  • 00:08:20.070 --> 00:08:21.260
  • means "compressed."
  • 00:08:21.260 --> 00:08:24.010
  • He had to go through
  • 00:08:24.010 --> 00:08:25.160
  • a baptism of compression
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  • in order to save us.
  • 00:08:27.270 --> 00:08:29.160
  • Paul the Apostle
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  • also talks about the necessary
  • 00:08:30.290 --> 00:08:32.270
  • pressure of leadership.
  • 00:08:32.270 --> 00:08:34.230
  • He said,
  • 00:08:34.230 --> 00:08:35.200
  • "Besides everything else,
  • 00:08:35.200 --> 00:08:37.070
  • I face daily the pressure
  • 00:08:37.070 --> 00:08:39.180
  • of my concern
  • 00:08:39.180 --> 00:08:41.040
  • for all the churches."
  • 00:08:41.040 --> 00:08:42.120
  • But although we need stretching,
  • 00:08:42.120 --> 00:08:45.100
  • we don't want to be snapped.
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  • Although we need pressure,
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  • we don't want to be crushed.
  • 00:08:49.180 --> 00:08:51.240
  • This is what Paul said:
  • 00:08:51.240 --> 00:08:53.260
  • "We are hard pressed
  • 00:08:53.260 --> 00:08:55.130
  • on every side, but not crushed;
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  • perplexed, but not in despair."
  • 00:08:59.210 --> 00:09:02.230
  • But how did Jesus and Paul
  • 00:09:02.280 --> 00:09:05.280
  • not collapse under the pressure?
  • 00:09:05.280 --> 00:09:08.110
  • How do any of us
  • 00:09:08.110 --> 00:09:09.120
  • deal with the constant pressures
  • 00:09:09.120 --> 00:09:10.270
  • of our society, our jobs,
  • 00:09:10.270 --> 00:09:13.020
  • our relationships?
  • 00:09:13.020 --> 00:09:14.260
  • Let's look at this bridge again.
  • 00:09:14.260 --> 00:09:17.080
  • Although it is under a load,
  • 00:09:17.080 --> 00:09:19.110
  • my weight,
  • 00:09:19.110 --> 00:09:20.180
  • although it is being
  • 00:09:20.180 --> 00:09:22.050
  • pushed and pulled,
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  • it is channeling the load
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  • to the ground.
  • 00:09:26.130 --> 00:09:28.000
  • That is the purpose
  • 00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:29.140
  • of its structure.
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  • If our relationships
  • 00:09:30.210 --> 00:09:31.280
  • are being pulled and pushed,
  • 00:09:31.280 --> 00:09:34.000
  • we need to learn
  • 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:35.120
  • to channel the load.
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  • Not to the ground,
  • 00:09:37.130 --> 00:09:38.200
  • not to ourselves,
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  • but to God.
  • 00:09:40.010 --> 00:09:42.040
  • This is how Jesus and Paul
  • 00:09:42.040 --> 00:09:44.090
  • withstood the pressure.
  • 00:09:44.090 --> 00:09:46.000
  • They gave their load to God.
  • 00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:48.080
  • Peter the Apostle
  • 00:09:48.080 --> 00:09:49.270
  • explains it like this:
  • 00:09:49.270 --> 00:09:51.140
  • "Cast all your anxiety on him
  • 00:09:52.060 --> 00:09:55.060
  • because he cares for you."
  • 00:09:55.060 --> 00:09:57.070
  • If you and I are going to avoid
  • 00:09:57.070 --> 00:09:59.050
  • the collapse
  • 00:09:59.050 --> 00:10:00.160
  • of our relationships,
  • 00:10:00.160 --> 00:10:01.230
  • we need to learn
  • 00:10:01.230 --> 00:10:03.080
  • to channel load.
  • 00:10:03.080 --> 00:10:04.210
  • But how do we do that?
  • 00:10:04.210 --> 00:10:06.040
  • And what exactly are these loads
  • 00:10:06.040 --> 00:10:08.030
  • - Robert: Like bridges,
  • 00:10:13.030 --> 00:10:14.100
  • all of us are under pressure.
  • 00:10:14.100 --> 00:10:16.110
  • And like bridges,
  • 00:10:16.110 --> 00:10:17.180
  • we have to learn
  • 00:10:17.180 --> 00:10:18.180
  • to channel load.
  • 00:10:18.180 --> 00:10:20.210
  • Jesus said, "Come to me, all you
  • 00:10:20.210 --> 00:10:23.070
  • who are weary and burdened,
  • 00:10:23.070 --> 00:10:25.160
  • and I will give you rest.
  • 00:10:25.160 --> 00:10:27.150
  • Take my yoke upon you
  • 00:10:27.150 --> 00:10:29.220
  • and learn from me,
  • 00:10:29.220 --> 00:10:31.070
  • for I am gentle and humble
  • 00:10:31.070 --> 00:10:33.180
  • in heart,
  • 00:10:33.180 --> 00:10:34.270
  • and you will find rest
  • 00:10:34.270 --> 00:10:36.080
  • for your souls."
  • 00:10:36.080 --> 00:10:37.290
  • It seems even though
  • 00:10:37.290 --> 00:10:39.190
  • we can channel our load to him,
  • 00:10:39.190 --> 00:10:41.180
  • he still expects us
  • 00:10:41.180 --> 00:10:43.170
  • to carry some load.
  • 00:10:43.170 --> 00:10:45.200
  • So we need to find out
  • 00:10:45.200 --> 00:10:47.130
  • - Robert: This is
  • 00:10:52.220 --> 00:10:53.250
  • one of the skewbacks
  • 00:10:53.250 --> 00:10:55.010
  • of the Sydney Harbor Bridge.
  • 00:10:55.010 --> 00:10:57.130
  • The vast load of this bridge
  • 00:10:57.130 --> 00:11:00.040
  • is channeled
  • 00:11:00.040 --> 00:11:01.040
  • to four connection points.
  • 00:11:01.040 --> 00:11:03.080
  • This rock, every bridge,
  • 00:11:03.080 --> 00:11:05.150
  • is subjected
  • 00:11:05.150 --> 00:11:06.280
  • to three primary loads:
  • 00:11:06.280 --> 00:11:09.010
  • dead load, its own weight;
  • 00:11:09.010 --> 00:11:11.200
  • live load, the traffic;
  • 00:11:11.200 --> 00:11:14.070
  • and environmental load,
  • 00:11:14.070 --> 00:11:16.120
  • the natural forces.
  • 00:11:16.120 --> 00:11:18.050
  • The strength of a bridge
  • 00:11:18.050 --> 00:11:20.110
  • is measured by its capacity
  • 00:11:20.110 --> 00:11:22.070
  • to withstand these loads.
  • 00:11:22.070 --> 00:11:24.240
  • - Robert: Each one of us
  • 00:11:36.020 --> 00:11:36.270
  • has a dead load,
  • 00:11:36.270 --> 00:11:38.020
  • the weight of our own lives.
  • 00:11:38.020 --> 00:11:39.270
  • And we're all designed
  • 00:11:39.270 --> 00:11:41.080
  • to carry our own weight,
  • 00:11:41.080 --> 00:11:43.070
  • to take personal responsibility
  • 00:11:43.070 --> 00:11:45.050
  • for our own well-being.
  • 00:11:45.050 --> 00:11:46.220
  • If we don't,
  • 00:11:46.220 --> 00:11:48.030
  • we can overburden other people.
  • 00:11:48.030 --> 00:11:50.280
  • In my marriage, for instance,
  • 00:11:50.280 --> 00:11:52.270
  • my wife adds to my happiness,
  • 00:11:52.270 --> 00:11:55.140
  • but she is not
  • 00:11:55.140 --> 00:11:56.170
  • responsible for it.
  • 00:11:56.170 --> 00:11:58.160
  • That's my job.
  • 00:11:58.160 --> 00:11:59.210
  • Nonetheless,
  • 00:11:59.210 --> 00:12:00.270
  • there are loads we share.
  • 00:12:00.270 --> 00:12:02.200
  • Every relationship,
  • 00:12:02.200 --> 00:12:04.070
  • whether family, friends,
  • 00:12:04.070 --> 00:12:05.290
  • or marriages, has a live load,
  • 00:12:05.290 --> 00:12:08.210
  • the challenges of daily life,
  • 00:12:08.210 --> 00:12:11.020
  • regular traffic,
  • 00:12:11.020 --> 00:12:12.210
  • normal communication.
  • 00:12:12.210 --> 00:12:14.120
  • Abusive language
  • 00:12:14.120 --> 00:12:16.090
  • is not normal communication.
  • 00:12:16.090 --> 00:12:18.180
  • It has the capacity to overload
  • 00:12:18.180 --> 00:12:21.110
  • a relationship and destroy it.
  • 00:12:21.110 --> 00:12:24.020
  • Different relationships
  • 00:12:24.020 --> 00:12:25.260
  • have different load capacities.
  • 00:12:25.260 --> 00:12:28.060
  • A parent carries
  • 00:12:28.060 --> 00:12:29.110
  • more load than a friend,
  • 00:12:29.110 --> 00:12:31.080
  • a friend more than a colleague.
  • 00:12:31.080 --> 00:12:32.290
  • But we must not
  • 00:12:32.290 --> 00:12:34.170
  • go beyond our capacity.
  • 00:12:34.170 --> 00:12:37.120
  • The final load
  • 00:12:37.120 --> 00:12:38.250
  • is the environmental load.
  • 00:12:38.250 --> 00:12:41.040
  • Even the best of relationships
  • 00:12:41.040 --> 00:12:42.290
  • are subjected to sudden trauma
  • 00:12:42.290 --> 00:12:45.140
  • or unforeseen tragedy,
  • 00:12:45.140 --> 00:12:47.230
  • the phone call
  • 00:12:47.230 --> 00:12:49.010
  • in the middle of the night,
  • 00:12:49.010 --> 00:12:50.060
  • the loss of a loved one,
  • 00:12:50.060 --> 00:12:51.270
  • undeserved criticism.
  • 00:12:51.270 --> 00:12:53.260
  • But since all bridges,
  • 00:12:53.260 --> 00:12:55.270
  • all relationships,
  • 00:12:55.270 --> 00:12:57.080
  • carry these loads,
  • 00:12:57.080 --> 00:12:59.110
  • why do some fail?
  • 00:12:59.110 --> 00:13:01.240
  • What causes bridges to collapse?
  • 00:13:01.240 --> 00:13:04.210
  • What causes
  • 00:13:04.210 --> 00:13:05.240
  • the demise of a friendship
  • 00:13:05.240 --> 00:13:07.130
  • - Robert: Although bridges
  • 00:13:13.170 --> 00:13:14.250
  • are, and have to be,
  • 00:13:14.250 --> 00:13:16.060
  • immensely strong,
  • 00:13:16.060 --> 00:13:17.170
  • able to withstand huge loads,
  • 00:13:17.170 --> 00:13:20.100
  • their own weight, daily traffic,
  • 00:13:20.100 --> 00:13:23.050
  • and the stresses
  • 00:13:23.050 --> 00:13:24.090
  • of our environment,
  • 00:13:24.090 --> 00:13:25.220
  • sometimes they fail.
  • 00:13:25.220 --> 00:13:27.230
  • And each time
  • 00:13:27.230 --> 00:13:28.260
  • there is a bridge disaster,
  • 00:13:28.260 --> 00:13:30.050
  • the engineers gather
  • 00:13:30.050 --> 00:13:31.120
  • to try and work out why.
  • 00:13:31.120 --> 00:13:33.230
  • On the 29th of August, 1907,
  • 00:13:33.240 --> 00:13:36.240
  • the Quebec bridge collapsed,
  • 00:13:36.240 --> 00:13:39.120
  • killing 75 workmen.
  • 00:13:39.120 --> 00:13:42.120
  • Why?
  • 00:13:42.120 --> 00:13:43.210
  • It seems a simple
  • 00:13:43.210 --> 00:13:44.290
  • engineering miscalculation.
  • 00:13:44.290 --> 00:13:47.100
  • On the 7th of November, 1940,
  • 00:13:47.100 --> 00:13:49.290
  • the Tacoma Bridge,
  • 00:13:49.290 --> 00:13:51.160
  • Galloping Gertie,
  • 00:13:51.160 --> 00:13:53.030
  • buckled and twisted
  • 00:13:53.030 --> 00:13:54.240
  • into the river,
  • 00:13:54.240 --> 00:13:55.270
  • killing a dog called, "Tubby."
  • 00:13:55.270 --> 00:13:57.280
  • Why?
  • 00:13:57.280 --> 00:13:59.050
  • Partly, it seems, the wind.
  • 00:13:59.050 --> 00:14:01.100
  • But every bridge collapse
  • 00:14:01.100 --> 00:14:03.090
  • is unique.
  • 00:14:03.090 --> 00:14:04.180
  • There are almost
  • 00:14:04.180 --> 00:14:05.200
  • as many reasons as disasters.
  • 00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:08.100
  • However, there are some
  • 00:14:08.100 --> 00:14:09.230
  • reoccurring factors
  • 00:14:09.230 --> 00:14:11.190
  • which we can relate
  • 00:14:11.190 --> 00:14:13.040
  • to the building
  • 00:14:13.040 --> 00:14:14.070
  • of our relationships.
  • 00:14:14.070 --> 00:14:16.040
  • Firstly, all bridges,
  • 00:14:19.160 --> 00:14:21.030
  • like relationships,
  • 00:14:21.030 --> 00:14:22.140
  • are built by people.
  • 00:14:22.140 --> 00:14:24.190
  • We are flawed.
  • 00:14:24.190 --> 00:14:25.230
  • We are fallen image bearers
  • 00:14:25.230 --> 00:14:27.240
  • with the capacity to do good
  • 00:14:27.240 --> 00:14:30.030
  • and the capacity to do harm.
  • 00:14:30.030 --> 00:14:32.280
  • And we're often
  • 00:14:32.280 --> 00:14:34.030
  • our own worst enemies.
  • 00:14:34.030 --> 00:14:36.120
  • We have the ability
  • 00:14:36.120 --> 00:14:38.000
  • to self-destruct,
  • 00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:40.020
  • destroy a precious relationship
  • 00:14:40.020 --> 00:14:43.010
  • through selfishness,
  • 00:14:43.010 --> 00:14:44.140
  • unforgiveness, or jealousy.
  • 00:14:44.140 --> 00:14:46.250
  • Secondly,
  • 00:14:46.250 --> 00:14:48.180
  • bridges can become overstressed,
  • 00:14:48.180 --> 00:14:51.130
  • tired, neglected.
  • 00:14:51.130 --> 00:14:53.200
  • So we need to take time
  • 00:14:53.200 --> 00:14:55.220
  • to assess our strengths
  • 00:14:55.220 --> 00:14:57.250
  • and weaknesses,
  • 00:14:57.250 --> 00:14:59.020
  • to create margins in our life.
  • 00:14:59.020 --> 00:15:01.210
  • So when we're pulled and pushed,
  • 00:15:01.210 --> 00:15:04.020
  • we have the ability
  • 00:15:04.020 --> 00:15:05.100
  • to withstand the pressures.
  • 00:15:05.100 --> 00:15:08.000
  • The third major reason
  • 00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:09.240
  • for bridge failure
  • 00:15:09.240 --> 00:15:11.100
  • is foundation.
  • 00:15:11.100 --> 00:15:12.280
  • Either the bridge is built
  • 00:15:12.280 --> 00:15:14.180
  • on the wrong foundations,
  • 00:15:14.180 --> 00:15:16.130
  • or to use a technical term,
  • 00:15:16.130 --> 00:15:18.260
  • the bridge lacks redundancy.
  • 00:15:18.290 --> 00:15:21.290
  • What do I mean by this?
  • 00:15:22.290 --> 00:15:25.290
  • When I lift
  • 00:15:25.290 --> 00:15:27.060
  • one of my grandchildren
  • 00:15:27.060 --> 00:15:28.170
  • onto my shoulders,
  • 00:15:28.170 --> 00:15:29.200
  • my skeleton
  • 00:15:29.200 --> 00:15:30.210
  • acts like the structure
  • 00:15:30.210 --> 00:15:32.110
  • of a bridge
  • 00:15:32.110 --> 00:15:33.160
  • and channels the live load
  • 00:15:33.160 --> 00:15:35.070
  • through my legs to the ground.
  • 00:15:35.070 --> 00:15:37.290
  • If one of my knees gives way,
  • 00:15:37.290 --> 00:15:39.280
  • my body redistributes the load
  • 00:15:39.280 --> 00:15:42.170
  • to the other leg
  • 00:15:42.170 --> 00:15:44.060
  • so I don't drop my grandchild.
  • 00:15:44.060 --> 00:15:46.090
  • In engineering terms,
  • 00:15:46.090 --> 00:15:47.280
  • this is called, "Redundancy."
  • 00:15:47.280 --> 00:15:50.140
  • It is an inbuilt
  • 00:15:50.140 --> 00:15:52.000
  • safety mechanism.
  • 00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:54.010
  • A bridge or a relationship
  • 00:15:54.010 --> 00:15:56.080
  • which is unable
  • 00:15:56.080 --> 00:15:57.240
  • to redistribute load
  • 00:15:57.240 --> 00:16:00.030
  • lacks redundancy and will fail.
  • 00:16:00.270 --> 00:16:03.270
  • But how do we do that?
  • 00:16:03.270 --> 00:16:05.230
  • What do we need
  • 00:16:05.230 --> 00:16:06.270
  • - Robert: When it comes
  • 00:16:12.070 --> 00:16:13.000
  • to bridge safety,
  • 00:16:13.000 --> 00:16:14.070
  • there are a triad of truths
  • 00:16:14.070 --> 00:16:16.150
  • which we can also apply
  • 00:16:16.150 --> 00:16:17.290
  • to our own lives
  • 00:16:17.290 --> 00:16:19.060
  • and relationships.
  • 00:16:19.060 --> 00:16:20.130
  • The first is obvious.
  • 00:16:20.130 --> 00:16:21.280
  • Use tried and tested structures.
  • 00:16:22.060 --> 00:16:25.060
  • New bridge structures
  • 00:16:25.060 --> 00:16:26.170
  • tend to have problems,
  • 00:16:26.170 --> 00:16:28.100
  • and this is also true
  • 00:16:28.100 --> 00:16:29.190
  • of our relationships.
  • 00:16:29.190 --> 00:16:31.120
  • We can't come up
  • 00:16:31.120 --> 00:16:32.200
  • with our own design.
  • 00:16:32.200 --> 00:16:34.030
  • We need to return
  • 00:16:34.030 --> 00:16:35.110
  • to God's original pattern.
  • 00:16:35.110 --> 00:16:37.220
  • And when we do,
  • 00:16:37.220 --> 00:16:39.080
  • we should build
  • 00:16:39.080 --> 00:16:40.120
  • with a high degree of safety.
  • 00:16:40.120 --> 00:16:43.000
  • Most bridges are built
  • 00:16:43.000 --> 00:16:44.050
  • with a factor of 3 or 5.
  • 00:16:44.050 --> 00:16:46.140
  • They can withstand
  • 00:16:46.140 --> 00:16:47.230
  • up to 5 times their normal load.
  • 00:16:51.060 --> 00:16:54.060
  • Maybe we shouldn't constantly
  • 00:16:54.060 --> 00:16:55.290
  • push ourselves
  • 00:16:55.290 --> 00:16:57.040
  • to near breaking strain,
  • 00:16:57.040 --> 00:16:59.020
  • where there are no margins,
  • 00:16:59.020 --> 00:17:01.010
  • no opportunity for adjustment.
  • 00:17:01.010 --> 00:17:03.200
  • When it comes to sin,
  • 00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:05.090
  • we should not take risks.
  • 00:17:05.090 --> 00:17:07.280
  • Which brings us
  • 00:17:07.280 --> 00:17:08.260
  • to the final part of the triad,
  • 00:17:08.260 --> 00:17:11.220
  • Jesus himself.
  • 00:17:11.220 --> 00:17:13.280
  • Nowadays, bridges are designed
  • 00:17:13.280 --> 00:17:15.270
  • with sacrificial members,
  • 00:17:15.270 --> 00:17:18.220
  • the equivalent of a crumple zone
  • 00:17:18.220 --> 00:17:20.270
  • in a car,
  • 00:17:20.270 --> 00:17:22.000
  • a part which will be sacrificed
  • 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:24.110
  • when the bridge is under threat.
  • 00:17:24.110 --> 00:17:27.100
  • That is what Jesus
  • 00:17:27.100 --> 00:17:28.230
  • became for us.
  • 00:17:28.230 --> 00:17:31.160
  • Caiaphas the high priest
  • 00:17:31.160 --> 00:17:33.000
  • understood this principle.
  • 00:17:33.000 --> 00:17:34.260
  • He said, "It is better for you
  • 00:17:34.260 --> 00:17:37.230
  • that one man die
  • 00:17:37.230 --> 00:17:39.120
  • for the people than that
  • 00:17:39.120 --> 00:17:41.030
  • the whole nation perish."
  • 00:17:41.130 --> 00:17:44.130
  • Sacrifice is not a new idea when
  • 00:17:44.130 --> 00:17:47.040
  • it comes to bridge building.
  • 00:17:47.040 --> 00:17:48.230
  • These three simple truths
  • 00:17:48.230 --> 00:17:51.140
  • could save our relationships.
  • 00:17:51.140 --> 00:17:53.210
  • But so many of us
  • 00:17:53.210 --> 00:17:55.090
  • fail to apply them.
  • 00:17:55.090 --> 00:17:56.290
  • We fail to follow God's pattern.
  • 00:17:56.290 --> 00:17:59.080
  • We push ourselves
  • 00:17:59.080 --> 00:18:00.150
  • beyond our limits.
  • 00:18:00.150 --> 00:18:02.060
  • And we don't allow Jesus
  • 00:18:02.060 --> 00:18:04.130
  • to intervene.
  • 00:18:04.130 --> 00:18:06.220
  • How can we become
  • 00:18:06.220 --> 00:18:07.190
  • - Robert: After the break
  • 00:18:10.290 --> 00:18:11.260
  • we're going to speak
  • 00:18:11.260 --> 00:18:12.250
  • to some friends of mine,
  • 00:18:12.250 --> 00:18:13.160
  • and my wife, about marriage.
  • 00:18:13.160 --> 00:18:15.270
  • How can we learn from bridges,
  • 00:18:15.270 --> 00:18:17.240
  • and the mistakes
  • 00:18:17.240 --> 00:18:18.230
  • that my wife and I have made?
  • 00:18:18.230 --> 00:18:20.250
  • And how do we build
  • 00:18:20.250 --> 00:18:22.010
  • [music]
  • 00:18:26.280 --> 00:18:29.280
  • - Robert: We've been
  • 00:18:29.280 --> 00:18:30.210
  • talking about the fact
  • 00:18:30.210 --> 00:18:31.130
  • that some relationships succeed
  • 00:18:31.130 --> 00:18:33.140
  • and some tragically fail.
  • 00:18:33.140 --> 00:18:35.120
  • Well, I'm here today
  • 00:18:35.120 --> 00:18:36.090
  • with my wife, Amanda,
  • 00:18:36.090 --> 00:18:37.180
  • and friends
  • 00:18:37.180 --> 00:18:38.190
  • Chrishan and Danielle.
  • 00:18:38.190 --> 00:18:39.220
  • And we're gonna talk about
  • 00:18:39.220 --> 00:18:40.200
  • how we can overcome
  • 00:18:40.200 --> 00:18:42.270
  • some of the challenges
  • 00:18:42.270 --> 00:18:44.030
  • of building relationships.
  • 00:18:44.030 --> 00:18:46.050
  • What are the sort of strategies
  • 00:18:46.050 --> 00:18:48.010
  • that you've had in play
  • 00:18:48.010 --> 00:18:49.140
  • to overcome
  • 00:18:49.140 --> 00:18:50.280
  • some of those difficulties?
  • 00:18:50.280 --> 00:18:52.120
  • - Chrishan Jeyaratnam: Well,
  • 00:18:52.120 --> 00:18:53.130
  • I think our number one strategy
  • 00:18:53.130 --> 00:18:54.120
  • has just been to stay married.
  • 00:18:54.120 --> 00:18:56.290
  • And then, if you do that
  • 00:18:56.290 --> 00:18:58.210
  • for long enough,
  • 00:18:58.210 --> 00:18:59.200
  • something comes up,
  • 00:18:59.200 --> 00:19:01.050
  • that's gonna help you.
  • 00:19:01.050 --> 00:19:02.160
  • - Amanda Fergusson: That's
  • 00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:03.090
  • a great thought 'cause when
  • 00:19:03.090 --> 00:19:04.050
  • we were first married,
  • 00:19:04.050 --> 00:19:06.030
  • we would argue, as one does.
  • 00:19:06.030 --> 00:19:07.290
  • And sooner or later,
  • 00:19:07.290 --> 00:19:10.090
  • one or the other of us
  • 00:19:10.090 --> 00:19:11.240
  • would say, "Maybe we
  • 00:19:11.240 --> 00:19:13.070
  • shouldn't have got married.
  • 00:19:13.070 --> 00:19:14.160
  • Maybe we should get divorced."
  • 00:19:14.160 --> 00:19:16.000
  • And we realized
  • 00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:17.220
  • that was more damaging
  • 00:19:17.220 --> 00:19:19.150
  • than the arguments.
  • 00:19:19.150 --> 00:19:20.290
  • And so I think
  • 00:19:20.290 --> 00:19:22.120
  • if just a few months in
  • 00:19:22.120 --> 00:19:24.060
  • we decided that divorce was not
  • 00:19:24.060 --> 00:19:26.110
  • going to be in our vocabulary--
  • 00:19:26.110 --> 00:19:28.100
  • - Robert: Once you've made
  • 00:19:28.100 --> 00:19:29.030
  • a decision,
  • 00:19:29.030 --> 00:19:30.090
  • that simple focus
  • 00:19:30.090 --> 00:19:32.080
  • just changes the way
  • 00:19:32.080 --> 00:19:33.120
  • you deal with the problem.
  • 00:19:33.120 --> 00:19:35.050
  • - Chrishan: Yeah, absolutely.
  • 00:19:35.050 --> 00:19:36.170
  • - Robert: So, as Amanda said,
  • 00:19:36.170 --> 00:19:38.050
  • we had arguments.
  • 00:19:38.050 --> 00:19:39.060
  • But I also had the idea
  • 00:19:39.060 --> 00:19:41.220
  • that somehow I couldn't fail.
  • 00:19:41.220 --> 00:19:44.160
  • Have you had the same naiveté,
  • 00:19:44.160 --> 00:19:46.280
  • or are you--?
  • 00:19:46.280 --> 00:19:48.060
  • - Danielle Jeyaratnam: I don't
  • 00:19:48.060 --> 00:19:48.250
  • think I've ever
  • 00:19:48.250 --> 00:19:49.140
  • come into our relationship,
  • 00:19:49.140 --> 00:19:50.290
  • even before we were married,
  • 00:19:50.290 --> 00:19:52.200
  • thinking that we can't fail.
  • 00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:54.030
  • Because I'm so aware
  • 00:19:54.030 --> 00:19:55.110
  • of my own failures.
  • 00:19:55.110 --> 00:19:56.290
  • And I think when we got married,
  • 00:19:56.290 --> 00:19:59.050
  • I think marriage amplifies
  • 00:19:59.050 --> 00:20:01.210
  • anything that's going on
  • 00:20:01.210 --> 00:20:02.200
  • in yourself.
  • 00:20:02.200 --> 00:20:03.280
  • And so we brought in
  • 00:20:03.280 --> 00:20:05.040
  • two very different backgrounds.
  • 00:20:05.040 --> 00:20:07.230
  • - Robert: I think
  • 00:20:07.230 --> 00:20:08.120
  • your background makes
  • 00:20:08.120 --> 00:20:09.070
  • a massive difference
  • 00:20:09.070 --> 00:20:10.020
  • because I don't think
  • 00:20:10.020 --> 00:20:10.240
  • I was naïve
  • 00:20:10.240 --> 00:20:11.160
  • about my own failures.
  • 00:20:11.160 --> 00:20:12.180
  • I know I'm a failure
  • 00:20:12.180 --> 00:20:13.240
  • in many areas,
  • 00:20:13.240 --> 00:20:14.270
  • but I just thought,
  • 00:20:14.270 --> 00:20:15.250
  • "I'll be able to resolve this."
  • 00:20:15.250 --> 00:20:17.170
  • But it was way more difficult
  • 00:20:17.170 --> 00:20:18.260
  • than I thought it was.
  • 00:20:18.260 --> 00:20:20.130
  • - Chrishan: I think we
  • 00:20:20.130 --> 00:20:20.280
  • underestimate sometimes
  • 00:20:20.280 --> 00:20:21.180
  • how much we've become programmed
  • 00:20:21.180 --> 00:20:23.090
  • by our background
  • 00:20:23.090 --> 00:20:24.130
  • or our environment as well.
  • 00:20:24.130 --> 00:20:25.190
  • So even the things
  • 00:20:25.190 --> 00:20:26.140
  • that we recognize
  • 00:20:26.140 --> 00:20:27.050
  • are not necessarily the way
  • 00:20:27.050 --> 00:20:28.120
  • that I'd want to be,
  • 00:20:28.120 --> 00:20:29.180
  • I've watched that for decades.
  • 00:20:29.180 --> 00:20:32.090
  • And it's programmed me
  • 00:20:32.090 --> 00:20:33.260
  • to act and react a certain way.
  • 00:20:33.260 --> 00:20:36.220
  • - Robert: Did you have
  • 00:20:36.220 --> 00:20:37.180
  • a strategy in place?
  • 00:20:37.180 --> 00:20:38.210
  • Like,
  • 00:20:38.210 --> 00:20:39.200
  • "This is what we're gonna do
  • 00:20:39.200 --> 00:20:40.130
  • when we have an argument."
  • 00:20:40.130 --> 00:20:41.100
  • - Chrishan: Well,
  • 00:20:41.100 --> 00:20:42.070
  • we developed some cues
  • 00:20:42.070 --> 00:20:43.020
  • to give each other an idea
  • 00:20:43.020 --> 00:20:44.110
  • of what we weren't happy with.
  • 00:20:44.110 --> 00:20:45.220
  • So we had conversations
  • 00:20:45.220 --> 00:20:46.230
  • about the way that we dealt
  • 00:20:46.230 --> 00:20:47.270
  • with those situations
  • 00:20:47.270 --> 00:20:49.170
  • and the conflict.
  • 00:20:49.170 --> 00:20:50.090
  • And so I would say things like,
  • 00:20:50.090 --> 00:20:52.250
  • "If you keep pressing
  • 00:20:52.250 --> 00:20:54.100
  • this issue,
  • 00:20:54.100 --> 00:20:55.050
  • I'm heading down this path
  • 00:20:55.050 --> 00:20:57.120
  • in my mind.
  • 00:20:57.120 --> 00:20:58.110
  • Like, this only ends one way
  • 00:20:58.110 --> 00:21:00.200
  • in terms of me
  • 00:21:00.200 --> 00:21:02.010
  • getting frustrated."
  • 00:21:02.010 --> 00:21:03.040
  • And Dani would likewise have
  • 00:21:03.040 --> 00:21:05.020
  • things that she would say,
  • 00:21:05.020 --> 00:21:07.000
  • "Hey, the way
  • 00:21:07.000 --> 00:21:08.050
  • that you're responding to this
  • 00:21:08.050 --> 00:21:09.080
  • is a way that's gonna
  • 00:21:09.080 --> 00:21:11.040
  • cause me to shut down."
  • 00:21:11.040 --> 00:21:12.140
  • - Robert: Yeah,
  • 00:21:12.140 --> 00:21:13.050
  • 'cause what we did
  • 00:21:13.050 --> 00:21:14.020
  • when we got into an argument,
  • 00:21:14.020 --> 00:21:15.130
  • instead of just arguing
  • 00:21:15.130 --> 00:21:17.160
  • and getting cross
  • 00:21:17.160 --> 00:21:18.220
  • with each other,
  • 00:21:18.220 --> 00:21:19.170
  • you walk out of the room,
  • 00:21:19.170 --> 00:21:20.120
  • both of you
  • 00:21:20.120 --> 00:21:21.060
  • walk out of the room.
  • 00:21:21.060 --> 00:21:21.270
  • And then you have
  • 00:21:21.270 --> 00:21:22.280
  • an argument with God, basically.
  • 00:21:22.280 --> 00:21:24.120
  • And I would say something like,
  • 00:21:24.120 --> 00:21:26.030
  • "I'm fed up
  • 00:21:26.030 --> 00:21:27.120
  • with the way Amanda does this.
  • 00:21:27.120 --> 00:21:28.230
  • Why don't you just change her?"
  • 00:21:28.230 --> 00:21:30.190
  • And he would then,
  • 00:21:30.190 --> 00:21:32.160
  • as it were, tell me,
  • 00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:34.100
  • "Why don't you change yourself?"
  • 00:21:34.100 --> 00:21:35.190
  • And she's having
  • 00:21:35.190 --> 00:21:36.210
  • the same argument
  • 00:21:36.210 --> 00:21:37.130
  • in another room.
  • 00:21:37.130 --> 00:21:38.090
  • In effect, we're saying,
  • 00:21:38.090 --> 00:21:39.210
  • "Before you have a discussion,
  • 00:21:39.210 --> 00:21:41.170
  • go and pray about it.
  • 00:21:41.170 --> 00:21:42.180
  • Come back,
  • 00:21:42.180 --> 00:21:43.190
  • and with an attitude of apology,
  • 00:21:43.190 --> 00:21:46.000
  • start your discussion."
  • 00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:48.190
  • - Danielle: What do you guys do
  • 00:21:48.190 --> 00:21:49.100
  • to actually build that safety
  • 00:21:49.100 --> 00:21:50.290
  • and make sure the bridge
  • 00:21:50.290 --> 00:21:52.070
  • is strong in your relationship?
  • 00:21:52.070 --> 00:21:54.010
  • - Amanda: One of our boundaries
  • 00:21:54.010 --> 00:21:55.050
  • is that we tell each other
  • 00:21:55.050 --> 00:21:57.040
  • if we're struggling
  • 00:21:57.040 --> 00:21:59.030
  • over finding someone attractive.
  • 00:21:59.030 --> 00:22:01.160
  • And people look at you and say,
  • 00:22:01.160 --> 00:22:03.050
  • "You can't say that," you know?
  • 00:22:03.050 --> 00:22:05.080
  • "They'll feel too insecure."
  • 00:22:05.080 --> 00:22:07.110
  • Or you know,
  • 00:22:07.110 --> 00:22:08.080
  • "How will that make them feel?"
  • 00:22:08.080 --> 00:22:09.120
  • But actually, for us,
  • 00:22:09.120 --> 00:22:11.000
  • it's been really good, you know,
  • 00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:13.180
  • because you have to build
  • 00:22:13.180 --> 00:22:15.160
  • a strong enough bridge
  • 00:22:15.160 --> 00:22:17.040
  • between each other
  • 00:22:17.040 --> 00:22:19.030
  • to take that sort of truth.
  • 00:22:19.030 --> 00:22:21.100
  • There's nothing that kills
  • 00:22:21.100 --> 00:22:22.230
  • a romantic attraction
  • 00:22:22.230 --> 00:22:25.080
  • than knowing you've just
  • 00:22:25.080 --> 00:22:26.210
  • told your husband about it.
  • 00:22:26.210 --> 00:22:27.280
  • It's absolute killer.
  • 00:22:27.280 --> 00:22:29.030
  • - Robert: I think
  • 00:22:29.030 --> 00:22:30.080
  • transparency's
  • 00:22:30.080 --> 00:22:31.030
  • been a huge key for us.
  • 00:22:31.030 --> 00:22:33.220
  • There's an old expression:
  • 00:22:33.220 --> 00:22:34.220
  • "You can't drive a tank
  • 00:22:34.220 --> 00:22:36.070
  • over a balsa wood bridge."
  • 00:22:36.070 --> 00:22:38.160
  • And we always wanted
  • 00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:39.250
  • that sort of relationship
  • 00:22:39.250 --> 00:22:41.080
  • where you could
  • 00:22:41.080 --> 00:22:42.130
  • drive a tank across it.
  • 00:22:42.130 --> 00:22:43.250
  • This is a strong bridge.
  • 00:22:43.250 --> 00:22:45.090
  • And that meant we could
  • 00:22:45.090 --> 00:22:46.050
  • - Robert: In this episode
  • 00:22:49.210 --> 00:22:50.160
  • so far, we have learned
  • 00:22:50.160 --> 00:22:51.210
  • how bridges can help us all
  • 00:22:51.210 --> 00:22:53.140
  • build stronger relationships,
  • 00:22:53.140 --> 00:22:55.210
  • how we're all vulnerable,
  • 00:22:55.210 --> 00:22:57.070
  • how we face various loads
  • 00:22:57.070 --> 00:22:59.200
  • every day which can either
  • 00:22:59.200 --> 00:23:01.070
  • crush us or snap us
  • 00:23:01.070 --> 00:23:02.160
  • unless we have
  • 00:23:02.160 --> 00:23:03.290
  • a safety system in play,
  • 00:23:03.290 --> 00:23:05.240
  • unless we allow Jesus Christ
  • 00:23:05.240 --> 00:23:07.290
  • to be our sacrificial member,
  • 00:23:07.290 --> 00:23:10.020
  • unless we learn
  • 00:23:10.020 --> 00:23:11.010
  • to channel our loads to him.
  • 00:23:11.010 --> 00:23:13.080
  • But how do we do that?
  • 00:23:13.080 --> 00:23:15.070
  • All bridges are vulnerable.
  • 00:23:16.220 --> 00:23:19.220
  • All bridges
  • 00:23:19.220 --> 00:23:20.270
  • face the same challenges.
  • 00:23:21.070 --> 00:23:24.070
  • All bridges
  • 00:23:24.070 --> 00:23:26.130
  • - Robert: The Bible
  • 00:23:30.220 --> 00:23:31.120
  • may not mention bridges,
  • 00:23:31.120 --> 00:23:32.200
  • but it does describe one.
  • 00:23:32.200 --> 00:23:34.220
  • The cross of Christ
  • 00:23:34.220 --> 00:23:35.280
  • is the greatest bridge of all
  • 00:23:35.280 --> 00:23:37.260
  • because it bridged
  • 00:23:37.260 --> 00:23:39.050
  • the greatest gulf,
  • 00:23:39.050 --> 00:23:40.200
  • between heaven and earth.
  • 00:23:40.200 --> 00:23:42.220
  • It overcame
  • 00:23:42.220 --> 00:23:43.210
  • the greatest obstacle,
  • 00:23:43.210 --> 00:23:45.040
  • the sin of humanity.
  • 00:23:45.040 --> 00:23:47.160
  • It overcame the greatest threat,
  • 00:23:47.160 --> 00:23:49.240
  • the evil which opposed us.
  • 00:23:49.240 --> 00:23:52.200
  • The Bible says that,
  • 00:23:52.200 --> 00:23:53.280
  • "Though we had a debt of sin,
  • 00:23:53.280 --> 00:23:56.100
  • we couldn't pay."
  • 00:23:56.100 --> 00:23:58.100
  • God took it away,
  • 00:23:58.100 --> 00:24:00.070
  • nailing it to the cross.
  • 00:24:00.070 --> 00:24:02.160
  • By overcoming
  • 00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:03.180
  • the obstacle of our sin,
  • 00:24:03.180 --> 00:24:05.100
  • the cross of Christ,
  • 00:24:05.100 --> 00:24:06.210
  • like a bridge,
  • 00:24:06.210 --> 00:24:08.020
  • gave us access to heaven.
  • 00:24:08.070 --> 00:24:11.070
  • As the Bible says,
  • 00:24:11.070 --> 00:24:12.180
  • "For through him we both have
  • 00:24:12.180 --> 00:24:15.140
  • access to the Father
  • 00:24:15.140 --> 00:24:17.100
  • by one spirit."
  • 00:24:17.100 --> 00:24:19.260
  • There are no words to describe
  • 00:24:19.260 --> 00:24:22.100
  • the enormity
  • 00:24:22.100 --> 00:24:23.160
  • of Christ's sacrifice
  • 00:24:23.160 --> 00:24:25.130
  • or the depth of this love.
  • 00:24:25.130 --> 00:24:28.080
  • The only hope
  • 00:24:28.080 --> 00:24:29.080
  • for our relationships,
  • 00:24:29.080 --> 00:24:30.240
  • either with God
  • 00:24:30.240 --> 00:24:32.070
  • or with each other,
  • 00:24:32.070 --> 00:24:33.180
  • is to put our trust
  • 00:24:33.180 --> 00:24:35.030
  • in his sacrifice
  • 00:24:35.030 --> 00:24:36.270
  • and receive his love.
  • 00:24:36.270 --> 00:24:39.070
  • Next time you cross a bridge,
  • 00:24:39.070 --> 00:24:42.070
  • stop for a second.
  • 00:24:42.070 --> 00:24:44.010
  • Look at it differently.
  • 00:24:44.010 --> 00:24:45.100
  • What do you see?
  • 00:24:45.100 --> 00:24:47.250
  • What does it say to you
  • 00:24:47.250 --> 00:24:49.080
  • about how to live a life
  • 00:24:49.080 --> 00:24:50.280
  • which pleases God?
  • 00:24:50.280 --> 00:24:52.280
  • What does it teach you
  • 00:24:52.280 --> 00:24:54.120
  • about relationships?
  • 00:24:54.120 --> 00:24:56.050
  • How does it remind you
  • 00:24:56.050 --> 00:24:58.090
  • - Robert: Next time
  • 00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:04.180
  • on "What Do You See?"
  • 00:25:04.180 --> 00:25:06.180
  • we're gonna continue our series
  • 00:25:06.180 --> 00:25:07.270
  • on bridges and relationships.
  • 00:25:07.270 --> 00:25:10.120
  • How do we communicate better
  • 00:25:10.120 --> 00:25:11.290
  • in our relationships?
  • 00:25:11.290 --> 00:25:13.290
  • What can we learn?
  • 00:25:13.290 --> 00:25:15.020
  • In the next episode
  • 00:25:15.020 --> 00:25:16.220
  • of "What Do You See?"
  • 00:25:16.220 --> 00:25:17.280
  • we're gonna speak to some
  • 00:25:17.280 --> 00:25:19.000
  • colleagues of mine, the team
  • 00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:20.210
  • who helped create this show.
  • 00:25:20.210 --> 00:25:22.140
  • We've set ourselves a challenge,
  • 00:25:22.140 --> 00:25:25.050
  • to build a bridge.
  • 00:25:25.050 --> 00:25:26.210
  • Can we do it?
  • 00:25:26.210 --> 00:25:27.290
  • And what do we learn about
  • 00:25:27.290 --> 00:25:29.230
  • CC by Aberdeen Captioning 1-800-688-6621 abercap.com
  • 00:25:38.270 --> 00:25:42.110