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Single Parenting

Taking Care of Business

June 26, 2019

27:33

Taking Care of Business

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Single Parenting

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TESTING.
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MUSIC
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ONE IN FOUR CHILDREN IN THE
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UNITED STATES IS BEING RAISED BY
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A SINGLE MOM AND IN MANY CITIES
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THAT NUMBER IS MUCH HIGHER, 35
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TO 40 PERCENT OF CHILDREN ARE
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BEING RAISED BY SINGLE MOTHERS.
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- WE HAVE A REDEFINITION OF
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MARRIAGE IN OUR CULTURE TODAY.
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CHILDREN BEING BORN OUT OF
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WEDLOCK.
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- THEY COME TO US IN CRISIS.
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THEY COME TO US BECAUSE THEY ARE
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VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
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- YOU HAVE A SINGLE MOM WHO IS
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A WIDOW.
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YOU HAVE A SINGLE MOM WHO GOT
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LEFT.
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YOU HAVE A SINGLE MOM WHO LEFT.
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SOMETIMES THEY CALL IT, I'M
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SINGLE BY CHOICE.
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- IF YOU ARE COMING FROM HAVING
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TWO INCOMES AND YOU BUILT YOUR
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LIFE AROUND HAVING TWO INCOMES,
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IT IS A DRAMATIC SHIFT.
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- AND IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THEY
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ARE TANGLED UP IN THIS SPOT OF
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UNCERTAINTY.
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OF HEARTACHE.
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- THERE ARE MOTHERS REALLY
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STRUGGLING TO RAISE THEIR
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FAMILIES ALONE.
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- SOMETIMES THE ANSWERS OR THE
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SOLUTIONS ARE NOT FIXING THE
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ROOT OF THE PROBLEM.
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MUSIC
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TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
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TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
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MUSIC
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- Kelly: THE UNITED STATES IS
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IN THE MIDDLE OF A PARENTING
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CRISIS.
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TOO MANY CHILDREN ACROSS AMERICA
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ARE GROWING UP WITH ONLY ONE
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PARENT OR WITH ONE PARENT AND A
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STRING OF TEMPORARY PARTNERS.
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MOST SINGLE PARENTS ARE DOING
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THEIR BEST, THERE IS NO DENYING
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THE IMPACT SINGLE PARENTING HAS
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ON THEIR CHILDREN, THEIR PARENTS
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AND EVEN THE ECONOMY.
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FIRST, SOME FACTS.
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ACCORDING TO STATISTICS,
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35 PERCENT OF AMERICAN CHILDREN
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ARE GROWING UP IN SINGLE PARENT
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HOUSEHOLDS.
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THIS INCLUDES 24 PERCENT OF
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WHITE CHILDREN AND 16 PERCENT OF
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ASIAN OR PACIFIC ISLANDER
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CHILDREN.
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UNFORTUNATELY FOR OTHER
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MINORITIES, THE STATISTICS ARE
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EVEN MORE SHOCKING.
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THERE ARE 42 PERCENT OF HISPANIC
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AMERICAN CHILDREN GROWING UP IN
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SINGLE PARENT HOUSEHOLDS WHICH
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IS THE SAME PERCENTAGE FOR
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CHILDREN OF MIXED RACE.
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52 PERCENT OF NATIVE AMERICANS
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GROW UP WITH ONLY ONE PARENT AND
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66 PERCENT OF AFRICAN-AMERICAN
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CHILDREN GROW UP IN A SINGLE
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PARENT HOUSEHOLD.
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NOW THE PEOPLE YOU ARE ABOUT TO
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MEET KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO
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HELP SINGLE MOTHERS FACING THE
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CHALLENGES OF PARENTING ALONE.
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AS WELL AS THE EMOTIONAL,
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PHYSICAL AND EVEN SOCIAL
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PRESSURES THAT COME WITH RAISING
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CHILDREN BY THEMSELVES.
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MUSIC
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- I NEVER THOUGHT I WAS GOING
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TO BE A SINGLE MOM.
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I GOT MARRIED AT 22.
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I HAD MY GIRLS.
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I THOUGHT I HAD EVERYTHING
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PLANNED OUT.
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THAT DID NOT WORK OUT.
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SO FOUR YEARS AGO I FOUND MYSELF
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AS A SINGLE MOM.
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I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GOING
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TO DO.
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- PEOPLE DON'T REALLY REALIZE
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WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.
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I HADN'T WORKED IN FOUR YEARS.
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I COULD NOT EVEN RENT AN
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APARTMENT.
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I HAD NO CLOTHING FOR MYSELF OR
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FOR MY KIDS.
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YOU COMPLETELY ARE STARTING YOUR
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LIFE OVER AGAIN.
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- YOU KNOW, YOU ARE DRIVING
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DOWN THE STREET THINKING OF ALL
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THESE OTHER THINGS THAT ARE
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PULLING AT YOU.
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YOU WANT TO DO WELL IN YOUR
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CAREER, YOU WANT TO BE PRESENT
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IN YOUR PROFESSIONALISM.
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BUT YOU ARE ALSO A MOM ALL THE
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TIME.
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THAT NEVER GOES AWAY.
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THAT TUG NEVER GOES AWAY.
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- WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH
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EVERYTHING AND I HAD TO SEE
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MYSELF IN A PLACE I NEVER
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THOUGHT I SAW MYSELF WHICH WAS
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AT THE COUNTY APPLYING FOR FOOD
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STAMPS AND APPLYING FOR
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INSURANCE AND HEALTH INSURANCE,
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I REALIZED QUICKLY THAT THIS WAS
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NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
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- YOU PICK UP THE PHONE AND YOU
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MIGHT CALL A FRIEND, I REMEMBER
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CALLING A FRIEND AT SOME POINT.
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SHE SAID CASSIE, PULL IT
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TOGETHER LIKE THE REST OF US.
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AND GET OUT THERE AND WORK 40
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HOURS A WEEK AND PUT YOUR KID IN
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DAY CARE.
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- I KNEW IN MY GUT WHEN SHE
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GAVE ME THAT ADVICE THAT WAS NOT
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THE ROAD I WAS GOING TO TAKE.
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THAT COULD NOT BE MY LIFE.
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- THEY COME TO US IN CRISIS.
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THEY COME TO US BECAUSE THEY ARE
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VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
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THE HUSBAND LEFT WITH SOMEBODY
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YOUNGER.
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AND SUDDENLY THEY FACE BEING
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ALONE, THEY FACE TERRIBLE ISSUES
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WITH SELF-ESTEEM AND A LOT OF
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FINANCIAL STRUGGLES.
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- THE FINANCIAL IMPACT OF
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SINGLE PARENTHOOD IS PROBABLY
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ONE OF THE TOUGHEST CHALLENGES.
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IF YOU ARE COMING FROM HAVING
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TWO INCOMES AND YOU BUILT YOUR
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LIFE AROUND HAVING TWO INCOMES,
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IT IS A DRAMATIC SHIFT.
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THE AVERAGE COST OF CHILD CARE
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IN SACRAMENTO COUNTY IS $874.
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THE AVERAGE COST OF A TWO
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BEDROOM APARTMENT IS $1.500.
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SO IF I AM A SINGLE PERSON AND I
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HAVE JUST CHILD CARE AND HOUSING
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COSTS I'M AT ALMOST $2.500 A
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MONTH JUST IN CHILD CARE AND
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HOUSING.
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WHAT IF I HAVE A CAR PAYMENT?
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I NEED TO PAY CAR INSURANCE.
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I STILL HAVE TO BUY GROCERIES,
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WHEN WE ARE IN THREE TO $4.000
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OF JUST NORMAL MONTHLY EXPENSES
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WITH ONE INCOME.
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A SINGLE MOTHER'S AVERAGE INCOME
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IS $2.100 PER MONTH.
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SO, FOR MANY OF THEM IT IS
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ALMOST FACING DEFEAT.
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AND HOW YOU OVERCOME THAT IS
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EXTREMELY CHALLENGING.
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- I KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO
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HAVE TO FIGURE OUT CHILD CARE
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AND HAVE TO FIGURE OUT A JOB AND
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TRANSPORTATION.
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I'VE BEEN THERE.
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HOW DO YOU RENT AN APARTMENT BY
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YOURSELF?
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HOW DO YOU DO THIS?
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I HAD NO IDEA.
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- THERE WAS NOT SOMEBODY WHO
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WAS SAYING I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE
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GOING THROUGH, WHAT IT FEELS
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LIKE TO HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
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AND TO HAVE TO BUILD UP FROM
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THERE.
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- MOMS COME IN AND 50 PERCENT
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OF THEM HAVE EXPERIENCED
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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
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99 PERCENT OF THEM LIVE UNDER
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THE POVERTY LEVEL.
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IT IS $14.000 A YEAR OR BELOW.
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THEY'RE EXPERIENCING AN ENORMOUS
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AMOUNT OF STRESS.
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SO THEY COME FEELING WORTHLESS.
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THEY COME FEELING HOPELESS.
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AND THEY HAVE THESE LITTLE
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PRECIOUS CHILDREN TO TAKE CARE
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OF.
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- A LOT OF OUR CURRENT
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ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE HELPING
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FAMILIES OUT THERE ARE USUALLY
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NOT ABLE TO HELP BECAUSE OF
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FUNDING UNTIL THERE IS AN
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ABSOLUTE CRISIS.
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SO THAT MOTHER HAS TO HAVE LOST
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EVERYTHING BEFORE THEY WILL BE
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HELPED.
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THEY WILL HAVE TO BE IN THEIR
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CAR, THEY WILL HAVE TO HAVE LOST
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THEIR HOUSING COMPLETELY, THEY
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MAY HAVE GONE OUT TO LOOK FOR
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HELP BEFORE THE CRISIS SET IN
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BUT THEY WERE TURNED AWAY.
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THEY COULD NOT BE HELPED UNTIL
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THE ACTUAL CRISIS WAS THERE.
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SO WHEN WE FIND OUR WOMEN AND
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THEY ARE TRYING TO BUILD BACK
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UP, THEY REALLY HAVE A LOT LESS
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RESOURCES THEN THAN THEY WOULD
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HAVE IF THEY WERE HELPED WHEN
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THEY WERE IN THAT PLACE WHERE
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THEY WERE KEEPING IT ALL
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TOGETHER.
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- WHEN I READ AN EMAIL I'M
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EITHER GETTING I AM ANGRY AND
00:07:28.180 --> 00:07:31.030
HURT AND DISAPPOINTED OR I'M
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GETTING, I'M HURT, I'M ANGRY AND
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DISAPPOINTED BUT I DON'T WANT TO
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BE THERE ANYMORE.
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IDENTIFYING IS THIS WOMAN READY
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TO LAUNCH INTO SUCCESS?
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IS SHE READY TO START THE
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HEALING JOURNEY?
00:07:42.230 --> 00:07:44.240
I CAN SIT THERE WITH YOU AND WE
00:07:44.240 --> 00:07:46.000
CAN BE ANGRY, HURT AND
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DISAPPOINTED AND WE CAN REVEL IN
00:07:46.280 --> 00:07:48.110
IT, WHAT I REALLY LOVE IS WHEN I
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GET THAT SINGLE MOM WHO SAYS,
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MAN, I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE
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ANYMORE.
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CAN YOU WALK WITH ME AS WE WALK
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OUT OF IT?
00:08:00.030 --> 00:08:03.030
- Kelly: BEING A SINGLE PARENT
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COMES WITH A UNIQUE SET OF
00:08:03.280 --> 00:08:04.220
EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES.
00:08:04.220 --> 00:08:06.050
COUNTLESS MOMS GRAPPLE WITH SELF
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DOUBT AND ANXIETY OVER MONEY.
00:08:07.070 --> 00:08:09.170
AND EXPERIENCE STRESS WHILE
00:08:09.170 --> 00:08:11.070
JUGGLING ALL THE
00:08:11.070 --> 00:08:12.080
RESPONSIBILITIES THAT COME WITH
00:08:12.080 --> 00:08:13.010
MOTHERHOOD.
00:08:13.130 --> 00:08:16.130
- THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT ON A
00:08:16.130 --> 00:08:17.180
SINGLE MOTHER IS HEAVY.
00:08:19.140 --> 00:08:22.140
THAT FEELING OF BEING
00:08:22.140 --> 00:08:23.290
OVERWHELMED AND TIRED ALL THE
00:08:23.290 --> 00:08:25.060
TIME.
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OF NOT HAVING SPACE FOR
00:08:26.100 --> 00:08:27.010
YOURSELF.
00:08:27.010 --> 00:08:28.240
OF WANTING THE BEST FOR YOUR
00:08:28.240 --> 00:08:30.210
CHILD AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
00:08:30.210 --> 00:08:32.060
HOW TO CARRY THAT BURDEN.
00:08:33.060 --> 00:08:36.060
- I WAS JUST TRYING TO PICK UP
00:08:36.060 --> 00:08:37.100
THE PIECES IN PURE SURVIVAL
00:08:37.100 --> 00:08:38.010
MODE.
00:08:38.010 --> 00:08:39.050
AND IT IS HARD FOR PEOPLE WHO
00:08:39.160 --> 00:08:42.160
HAVE NOT BEEN THROUGH IT TO
00:08:42.160 --> 00:08:44.000
UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT IT IS
00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:45.250
LIKE.
00:08:45.250 --> 00:08:47.170
IT WAS HARD FOR ME GOING THROUGH
00:08:47.170 --> 00:08:48.140
IT BECAUSE I NEVER WANTED TO BE
00:08:48.140 --> 00:08:50.220
IN A POSITION THAT I NEEDED THE
00:08:50.220 --> 00:08:51.220
HELP.
00:08:51.220 --> 00:08:53.280
- THEY FEEL LIKE IT IS THEIR
00:08:53.280 --> 00:08:56.050
MESS AND THEY DON'T WANT TO
00:08:56.050 --> 00:08:57.190
BOTHER ANYTHING WITH IT.
00:08:57.190 --> 00:08:59.260
THEY DON'T WANT TO ASK ANYBODY
00:08:59.260 --> 00:09:01.280
TO COME IN AND SEE THEIR MESS.
00:09:01.280 --> 00:09:03.100
SO THERE IS A LOFT SHAME
00:09:03.100 --> 00:09:04.150
INVOLVED AS WELL.
00:09:04.150 --> 00:09:06.150
- SINGLE MOMS HAVE A VARIETY OF
00:09:06.150 --> 00:09:07.120
NEEDS, THE BIGGEST ONE IS THAT
00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:10.070
FEELING OF LONELINESS, THAT
00:09:10.070 --> 00:09:11.240
SENSE OF BEING COMPLETELY ON
00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:12.240
THEIR OWN.
00:09:12.240 --> 00:09:14.040
- YOU ARE ENTERING INTO THE
00:09:14.040 --> 00:09:14.260
UNKNOWN.
00:09:14.260 --> 00:09:16.100
YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB.
00:09:16.100 --> 00:09:17.150
YOU DON'T HAVE ANYWHERE TO GO
00:09:17.150 --> 00:09:19.170
AND YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW WHO TO
00:09:19.170 --> 00:09:20.250
TURN TO OR WHO YOU CAN EVEN
00:09:20.250 --> 00:09:21.200
TRUST.
00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:24.020
- FOR MANY YEARS I KNOW
00:09:24.020 --> 00:09:24.240
PERSONALLY I FELT COMPLETELY
00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:26.180
INVISIBLE.
00:09:26.180 --> 00:09:28.040
I WAS GETTING UP AND DOING
00:09:28.040 --> 00:09:29.130
THINGS I NEEDED TO DO AND I WAS
00:09:29.130 --> 00:09:31.000
STRUGGLING TO BE EVEN MYSELF AND
00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:32.120
TO FIND MYSELF.
00:09:32.120 --> 00:09:33.190
- IN THE BEGINNING I WAS NOT
00:09:33.190 --> 00:09:35.190
BALANCING IT.
00:09:35.190 --> 00:09:36.190
THAT WAS NOT A WORD.
00:09:36.190 --> 00:09:39.180
I WAS AT THE LIBRARY TO MIDNIGHT
00:09:39.180 --> 00:09:40.250
ALMOST EVERY NIGHT.
00:09:40.250 --> 00:09:42.180
I WAS BURNED OUT.
00:09:42.180 --> 00:09:43.150
I WAS CRYING.
00:09:43.150 --> 00:09:44.290
- THEIR CHILDREN ARE LOOKING AT
00:09:44.290 --> 00:09:46.050
A MOM WHO IS PROBABLY PRETTY
00:09:46.050 --> 00:09:47.160
FRANTIC, PROBABLY PRETTY
00:09:47.160 --> 00:09:49.060
DESPERATE.
00:09:49.060 --> 00:09:50.280
PRETTY LIMITED ON TIME TO SPEND
00:09:50.280 --> 00:09:52.210
WITH THEIR CHILDREN
00:09:52.280 --> 00:09:55.280
INTENTIONALLY AND WHAT CHILDREN
00:09:55.280 --> 00:09:58.010
NEED IS THAT SENSE OF STABILITY
00:09:58.010 --> 00:10:00.050
THAT THEIR MOTHER IS STABLE.
00:10:00.050 --> 00:10:01.250
THAT THEIR ENVIRONMENT IS
00:10:01.250 --> 00:10:02.290
STABLE.
00:10:02.290 --> 00:10:05.070
- I SEE SOME OF OUR MOMS
00:10:05.070 --> 00:10:06.280
SUFFERING WITH CHILD CARE,
00:10:06.280 --> 00:10:08.240
SUFFERING WITH PARENTING
00:10:08.240 --> 00:10:10.160
SUPPORT.
00:10:10.160 --> 00:10:12.000
SUFFERING WITH HOW TO IMPLEMENT
00:10:12.000 --> 00:10:13.050
RULES AT HOME.
00:10:13.050 --> 00:10:14.260
SUFFERING WITH THE FACT THAT
00:10:14.260 --> 00:10:16.180
MOMS HAVE TO DO TWO JOBS IN
00:10:16.180 --> 00:10:19.120
ORDER TO PROVIDE FOR THE HOUSE.
00:10:19.120 --> 00:10:21.140
SO SOMETIMES THE KIDS DON'T GET
00:10:21.140 --> 00:10:22.120
THAT PATIENCE.
00:10:22.120 --> 00:10:24.160
- THEY ARE STATISTICALLY HIGHER
00:10:24.160 --> 00:10:27.160
AT RISK OF ABUSE FOR THEIR
00:10:27.160 --> 00:10:28.250
CHILDREN.
00:10:28.250 --> 00:10:31.020
BUT MANY OF THE WOMEN HAVE GONE
00:10:31.020 --> 00:10:32.220
THROUGH ABUSE THEMSELVES.
00:10:32.220 --> 00:10:34.130
- DAUGHTERS OF SINGLE MOTHERS
00:10:34.130 --> 00:10:35.220
ARE MORE LIKELY TO ENGAGE IN SEX
00:10:35.220 --> 00:10:37.190
AT A YOUNGER AGE.
00:10:37.190 --> 00:10:38.220
THEY ARE MORE LIKELY TO GIVE
00:10:38.220 --> 00:10:39.190
BIRTH OUTSIDE MARRIAGE
00:10:39.190 --> 00:10:40.240
THEMSELVES.
00:10:40.240 --> 00:10:42.130
AND THAT PROMISCUITY COMES FROM
00:10:43.020 --> 00:10:46.020
SEEKING THE LOVE OF A MALE.
00:10:46.020 --> 00:10:47.220
AND THAT'S SOMETHING THEY ARE
00:10:47.220 --> 00:10:48.140
LACKING.
00:10:48.140 --> 00:10:49.000
THEY ARE REACHING OUT FOR IT IN
00:10:49.000 --> 00:10:49.270
WAYS THAT ARE NOT HEALTHY.
00:10:49.270 --> 00:10:51.050
- I THOUGHT EVERYONE WAS GOING
00:10:51.050 --> 00:10:53.270
TO JUDGE MY CHILDREN.
00:10:53.270 --> 00:10:55.140
I THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE GOING
00:10:55.140 --> 00:10:57.080
TO STOP BEING INVITED PLACES.
00:10:57.080 --> 00:10:58.250
THAT I WAS GOING TO STOP BEING
00:10:58.250 --> 00:11:00.150
INVITED PLACES BECAUSE I WAS NOT
00:11:00.150 --> 00:11:01.230
GOING TO FIT IN.
00:11:01.230 --> 00:11:02.230
I WAS AN OTHER.
00:11:02.230 --> 00:11:04.030
I DID NOT BELONG.
00:11:04.030 --> 00:11:06.040
- WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT
00:11:06.040 --> 00:11:07.180
FATHERLESS KIDS RIGHT NOW IT
00:11:07.180 --> 00:11:09.100
SOUNDS SO DREARY.
00:11:09.100 --> 00:11:11.040
IT SOUNDS LIKE IT IS A DEATH
00:11:11.040 --> 00:11:11.250
SENTENCE.
00:11:11.250 --> 00:11:14.070
THERE IS NOTHING POSITIVE THAT
00:11:14.070 --> 00:11:15.070
WILL HAPPEN FOR THIS CHILD.
00:11:15.070 --> 00:11:16.190
AND THAT'S JUST NOT TRUE.
00:11:16.260 --> 00:11:19.260
- WE SEE A LOT OF WOMEN WHO
00:11:21.240 --> 00:11:24.240
MAYBE SEE THE SEASON AS
00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:27.140
TEMPORARY, AND SO WHILE THEY ARE
00:11:27.140 --> 00:11:28.060
IN THE STAGE THEY ARE LOOKING
00:11:28.060 --> 00:11:29.030
FOR THEIR NEXT RELATIONSHIP.
00:11:29.030 --> 00:11:29.240
THEY ARE TRYING TO MOVE OUT OF
00:11:29.240 --> 00:11:30.160
IT AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.
00:11:30.160 --> 00:11:32.080
- YOU FIND YOURSELF MAKING
00:11:32.080 --> 00:11:34.200
CHOICES WITH FRIENDS OR PEOPLE.
00:11:34.200 --> 00:11:36.280
FOR ME I WENT STRAIGHT TO THE
00:11:36.280 --> 00:11:37.200
BOTTLE.
00:11:37.200 --> 00:11:39.100
OR I WOULD, DRUGS, ALCOHOL,
00:11:39.100 --> 00:11:41.010
MEN,.
00:11:41.180 --> 00:11:44.180
- THEY ARE SO PREOCCUPIED
00:11:44.180 --> 00:11:46.010
TRYING TO MOVE OUT OF BEING A
00:11:46.010 --> 00:11:47.070
SINGLE PARENT BECAUSE AFTER THAT
00:11:49.050 --> 00:11:52.050
LABEL, THAT COMES WITH THAT
00:11:52.050 --> 00:11:53.070
LABEL, THEY ARE JUST SO
00:11:53.070 --> 00:11:55.030
DESPERATE TO GET OUT OF THAT
00:11:55.030 --> 00:11:56.080
SITUATION THEY MAKE CHOICES THAT
00:11:56.080 --> 00:11:57.220
ARE NOT THE HEALTHIEST FOR THEM.
00:11:57.260 --> 00:12:00.280
- YOU ARE PULLING AT WHATEVER
00:12:00.280 --> 00:12:01.240
IT COULD BE.
00:12:01.240 --> 00:12:02.100
MAYBE IT IS JUST A BUSY
00:12:02.100 --> 00:12:03.000
SCHEDULE.
00:12:03.000 --> 00:12:04.140
MAYBE YOU ARE JUST STAYING BUSY
00:12:04.140 --> 00:12:05.070
AND LOOKING FOR SOLUTIONS TO FIX
00:12:05.250 --> 00:12:08.250
SOMETHING THAT ARE NOT REALLY
00:12:08.250 --> 00:12:10.250
GETTING YOU WHERE YOU NEED TO
00:12:10.250 --> 00:12:12.250
GO.
00:12:12.250 --> 00:12:15.150
- SO ONE OF OUR GOALS FOR
00:12:15.150 --> 00:12:17.100
THRIVE IS TO HELP WOMEN FIND
00:12:17.100 --> 00:12:19.070
THEIR PURPOSE AND TO FIND THEIR
00:12:19.070 --> 00:12:20.270
PURPOSE THEY HAVE TO FIND THEIR
00:12:20.270 --> 00:12:21.270
VOICE.
00:12:21.270 --> 00:12:22.260
IT MEANS GOING BACK TO SEEING
00:12:22.260 --> 00:12:25.120
ALL THE THINGS THAT HAVE
00:12:25.120 --> 00:12:26.010
HAPPENED TO YOU IN THE PAST
00:12:26.010 --> 00:12:27.240
KNOWING GOD HAS GIVEN YOU THOSE
00:12:27.240 --> 00:12:29.090
THINGS FOR A REASON.
00:12:29.090 --> 00:12:30.110
HOW DO YOU TRANSFORM THAT PAIN
00:12:30.110 --> 00:12:32.030
INTO PURPOSE?
00:12:35.120 --> 00:12:38.120
- Kelly: THE MOST COMMON LIFE
00:12:38.120 --> 00:12:39.130
EVENTS LEADING TO SINGLE
00:12:39.130 --> 00:12:40.110
PARENTHOOD LIKE DEATH AND
00:12:40.110 --> 00:12:42.000
DIVORCE UPSET MORE THAN THE
00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:43.220
MARITAL STATUS.
00:12:43.220 --> 00:12:46.020
THEY UPSET THE FAMILY'S
00:12:46.020 --> 00:12:47.010
FINANCIAL BALANCE.
00:12:47.010 --> 00:12:49.010
LEAVING ONE ADULT SHOULDERING A
00:12:49.010 --> 00:12:51.080
LOAD THAT HAS BEEN TYPICALLY
00:12:51.100 --> 00:12:54.100
CARRIED BY TWO PARENTS.
00:12:54.100 --> 00:12:56.000
TOO OFTEN SINGLE PARENTS HANG IN
00:12:56.000 --> 00:12:57.020
LIMBO WAITING FOR CHILD SUPPORT
00:12:57.050 --> 00:13:00.070
THAT NEVER ARRIVES, LEAVING THEM
00:13:00.070 --> 00:13:01.230
WITH LESS IN THEIR CHECKING
00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:05.000
ACCOUNT THAN WHAT THEIR KIDS
00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:05.270
NEED.
00:13:05.270 --> 00:13:07.110
SINGLE MOMS SAY THAT SOMETIMES
00:13:07.110 --> 00:13:08.200
THEY FEEL TRAPPED UNDER A
00:13:08.200 --> 00:13:10.290
MOUNTAIN OF RESPONSIBILITY THAT
00:13:10.290 --> 00:13:13.030
LEADS THEM INTO SOCIAL
00:13:13.030 --> 00:13:13.210
ISOLATION.
00:13:13.210 --> 00:13:16.210
- A SOCIAL IMPACT SINGLE MOMS
00:13:16.210 --> 00:13:19.160
EXPERIENCE IS THAT FEELING OF
00:13:19.160 --> 00:13:21.240
NOT FITTING IN.
00:13:22.160 --> 00:13:25.160
MOST OF THE TIME THEY ARE COMING
00:13:25.160 --> 00:13:28.100
FROM A SITUATION WHERE THEY WERE
00:13:28.100 --> 00:13:29.060
MARRIED OR WITH THEIR PARTNER
00:13:29.060 --> 00:13:30.250
AND THEIR FRIENDS ARE MARRIED OR
00:13:30.250 --> 00:13:32.120
WITH THEIR PARTNERS AND UPON
00:13:32.120 --> 00:13:34.210
DIVORCE OR LEAVING, WHATEVER THE
00:13:34.210 --> 00:13:36.020
CASE IS, THAT BRINGS THEM INTO
00:13:36.020 --> 00:13:37.230
SINGLE PARENTHOOD, THEY LOSE
00:13:37.230 --> 00:13:39.150
THEIR CIRCLE OF FRIENDS, AND
00:13:39.150 --> 00:13:42.120
THEY DON'T FIT IN WITH THE
00:13:42.120 --> 00:13:45.010
MARRIED COUPLES ANYMORE.
00:13:45.010 --> 00:13:46.230
AND NONE OF THEIR FRIENDS ARE
00:13:46.230 --> 00:13:47.140
SINGLE WITH CHILDREN.
00:13:47.140 --> 00:13:48.210
SO THEY HAVE SINGLE FRIENDS WHO
00:13:48.210 --> 00:13:49.280
STILL WANT TO GO OUT AND HAVE A
00:13:49.280 --> 00:13:51.120
GOOD TIME.
00:13:51.120 --> 00:13:53.160
THEY DON'T FIT IN THAT GROUP
00:13:53.160 --> 00:13:54.150
EITHER ANYMORE.
00:13:54.150 --> 00:13:56.240
SO THERE IS JUST THAT FEELING OF
00:13:56.240 --> 00:13:58.040
WHERE DO I FIT IN?
00:13:58.040 --> 00:13:59.260
THAT IS VERY LONELY.
00:14:01.000 --> 00:14:04.000
- YOU HAVE YOUR SET OF FRIENDS
00:14:04.000 --> 00:14:06.200
YOU HAVE BEFORE THE DIVORCE.
00:14:07.120 --> 00:14:10.120
OR EVEN THEY WERE HIGH SCHOOL
00:14:10.120 --> 00:14:12.010
FRIENDS, THEY ALL GO IN THESE
00:14:12.010 --> 00:14:13.170
DIFFERENT PLACES.
00:14:13.170 --> 00:14:15.120
YOU FIND YOURSELF SINGLE, ALONE,
00:14:16.240 --> 00:14:19.240
MESSY, AND WHO DO YOU SPEAK TO?
00:14:21.000 --> 00:14:24.000
WHO DO YOU INVITE INTO THAT
00:14:24.000 --> 00:14:25.060
PLACE?
00:14:25.060 --> 00:14:26.210
THAT IS A VULNERABLE PLACE.
00:14:26.290 --> 00:14:29.290
YOU DON'T HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER.
00:14:29.290 --> 00:14:31.190
MAYBE YOU DID NOT HAVE IT
00:14:31.190 --> 00:14:32.110
TOGETHER THEN.
00:14:32.110 --> 00:14:33.210
I DON'T THINK THERE WAS A TIME I
00:14:33.210 --> 00:14:34.170
HAD IT TOGETHER.
00:14:34.170 --> 00:14:36.140
AND I'M EVEN MORE ON THE BOTTOM.
00:14:36.140 --> 00:14:38.210
AND WHO DO I ALLOW, WHO DO I
00:14:38.210 --> 00:14:40.070
WELCOME IN TO THAT PLACE AND
00:14:40.070 --> 00:14:42.000
WALK ME THROUGH THE MESSINESS?
00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:47.000
TO CRY ON, TO TALK TO, TO LISTEN
00:14:47.000 --> 00:14:48.190
TO, TO TRUST?
00:14:49.270 --> 00:14:52.270
THAT IS NOT AN EASY PLACE TO BE.
00:14:52.270 --> 00:14:55.150
IF YOU DON'T HAVE A LOT OF
00:14:55.150 --> 00:14:57.090
PEOPLE THAT CAN SPEAK THAT
00:14:57.090 --> 00:14:59.120
TRUTH, THAT ARE EVEN INTUNE AND
00:14:59.120 --> 00:15:01.000
THEY CAN DISCERN WHERE I'M AT
00:15:01.180 --> 00:15:04.180
AND WHERE I NEED TO GO, IT IS
00:15:04.180 --> 00:15:05.120
NOT EASY TO FIND THOSE PEOPLE.
00:15:06.260 --> 00:15:09.260
- ONE OF THE BIGGEST DANGERS I
00:15:09.260 --> 00:15:10.250
SEE IN SINGLE PARENT HOUSEHOLDS
00:15:10.250 --> 00:15:12.070
AND ESPECIALLY WITH SINGLE MOMS
00:15:12.070 --> 00:15:14.120
IS THE EMERGENCE OF SOCIAL MEDIA
00:15:14.120 --> 00:15:16.070
AND THE RELIANCE ON SOCIAL MEDIA
00:15:16.070 --> 00:15:18.080
BEING THE ONLY OUTLET FOR
00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:20.010
COMMUNITY WE HAVE.
00:15:20.010 --> 00:15:21.090
WE FEEL IF WE CAN HOP ON
00:15:21.090 --> 00:15:23.140
FACEBOOK AT THE END OF THE NIGHT
00:15:23.140 --> 00:15:26.040
AND LIKE AND COMMENT ON A FEW
00:15:26.040 --> 00:15:27.180
THINGS WE FEEL LIKE WE HAVE A
00:15:27.180 --> 00:15:28.270
SENSE WE CONNECTED IN SOME WAY
00:15:28.270 --> 00:15:30.030
TO OTHER HUMAN BEINGS, THE TRUTH
00:15:30.030 --> 00:15:31.110
IS THAT IS NOT GOING TO FILL THE
00:15:31.110 --> 00:15:33.100
NEED.
00:15:33.100 --> 00:15:36.060
THERE IS SO MUCH DANGEROUS
00:15:36.060 --> 00:15:38.040
SOCIAL MEDIA OUT THERE
00:15:38.040 --> 00:15:39.160
ESPECIALLY FOR SINGLE MOMS WHO
00:15:39.160 --> 00:15:41.110
ARE SEEING SOCIAL INFLUENCERS
00:15:42.070 --> 00:15:45.070
WHO HAVE MAYBE EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS
00:15:45.070 --> 00:15:47.140
OF MONEY, MAKING THEIR HOUSES
00:15:47.140 --> 00:15:49.080
LOOK BEAUTIFUL AND FOCUSING ON
00:15:49.080 --> 00:15:50.110
ALL THAT THEY CAN DO AND WHAT
00:15:50.110 --> 00:15:52.050
THEY ARE ABLE TO DO.
00:15:52.050 --> 00:15:54.070
SO WHEN YOU HAVE THAT HUGE GAP
00:15:54.070 --> 00:15:55.280
BETWEEN A SINGLE MOTHER WHO DOES
00:15:55.280 --> 00:15:58.080
NOT HAVE THAT AND SHE IS LOOKING
00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:00.270
AT THAT AS THAT IS THE NORM IT
00:16:00.270 --> 00:16:03.000
MAKES DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY
00:16:03.000 --> 00:16:04.220
EVEN HIGHER FOR SINGLE MOMS.
00:16:05.050 --> 00:16:08.050
THERE IS THE SENSE OF, I'M JUST
00:16:08.050 --> 00:16:09.090
NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
00:16:09.090 --> 00:16:09.270
MY WORTH IS LOWER BECAUSE THIS
00:16:09.270 --> 00:16:11.190
IS WHAT THE WORLD IS LOOKING AT
00:16:11.190 --> 00:16:12.150
AS BEING TRUTH.
00:16:13.090 --> 00:16:16.090
IT IS NOT TRUTH.
00:16:17.030 --> 00:16:20.030
- THERE WAS A MOM THAT SHARED A
00:16:20.030 --> 00:16:21.170
STORY SHE WAS STRUGGLING WITH
00:16:21.170 --> 00:16:24.040
HERSELF WORTH BECAUSE THE FATHER
00:16:24.100 --> 00:16:27.100
OF HER TWO CHILDREN SAID IF YOU
00:16:27.100 --> 00:16:28.030
DON'T GET AN ABORTION I'M
00:16:28.030 --> 00:16:29.030
LEAVING.
00:16:29.030 --> 00:16:29.230
WITH HER SECOND CHILD SHE CHOSE
00:16:29.230 --> 00:16:31.050
TO KEEP IT.
00:16:31.050 --> 00:16:33.020
AND SHE WAS ALL BY HERSELF NOW.
00:16:33.020 --> 00:16:34.290
HE LEFT HER ALONE, NO ALIMONY,
00:16:34.290 --> 00:16:37.030
NO CHILD SUPPORT.
00:16:37.030 --> 00:16:38.210
AND SHE CHOSE TO KEEP THE BABY
00:16:38.210 --> 00:16:40.240
AND RAISE IT.
00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:43.060
BUT SHE GOES TO SCHOOL.
00:16:43.060 --> 00:16:44.050
SHE IS STRUGGLING.
00:16:44.050 --> 00:16:45.170
IT IS SUCH A HARD ROAD.
00:16:48.040 --> 00:16:51.040
- WE BELIEVE THAT REGARDLESS OF
00:16:51.040 --> 00:16:52.220
THE CIRCUMSTANCES EVERYBODY IS
00:16:52.220 --> 00:16:55.020
COMING FROM, EVERYBODY HAS THE
00:16:55.020 --> 00:16:56.200
RIGHT TO LIVE WITH DIGNITY.
00:16:56.200 --> 00:16:59.050
WE WANT THE MOMS TO FEEL WE
00:16:59.050 --> 00:17:02.050
DON'T KNOW THEIR STORY.
00:17:02.050 --> 00:17:03.180
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
00:17:03.180 --> 00:17:04.290
AND WE ARE NOBODY TO JUDGE WHY
00:17:04.290 --> 00:17:05.220
THEY CAME TO US.
00:17:05.220 --> 00:17:07.230
IT IS OUR OBLIGATION TO MOVE
00:17:07.230 --> 00:17:09.130
THEM FROM WHERE THEY ARE FORWARD
00:17:09.130 --> 00:17:10.270
WITH DIGNITY.
00:17:10.270 --> 00:17:12.210
ONE OF THE WAYS WE DO IT, WHEN
00:17:12.210 --> 00:17:14.200
WE GIVE THEM RESOURCES, LIKE IN
00:17:14.200 --> 00:17:16.040
THIS STORE, WHEN THEY NEED
00:17:16.040 --> 00:17:17.160
CLOTHES.
00:17:17.160 --> 00:17:18.160
WE WANT THEM TO COME TO THIS
00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:19.080
STORE.
00:17:19.080 --> 00:17:21.040
GO THROUGH THE HANGERS AND GO
00:17:21.040 --> 00:17:23.180
THROUGH THE RACKS LIKE ANYBODY
00:17:23.180 --> 00:17:24.100
ELSE, WITHOUT FEELING THAT THEY
00:17:24.100 --> 00:17:25.080
ARE GOING THROUGH ALL USED
00:17:25.080 --> 00:17:27.290
CLOTHES IN BOXES.
00:17:27.290 --> 00:17:30.050
IN A WAY, MOST OF OUR MOMS ARE
00:17:30.050 --> 00:17:31.270
FEELING WITH A LOT OF
00:17:31.270 --> 00:17:34.220
SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES.
00:17:34.220 --> 00:17:35.270
WE DON'T WANT THIS GIVING THEM
00:17:35.270 --> 00:17:37.180
THINGS FOR FREE TO MAKE THEM
00:17:37.180 --> 00:17:38.160
EVEN FEEL WORSE.
00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:41.090
WE WANT THEM TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT
00:17:41.090 --> 00:17:42.040
THEMSELVES.
00:17:42.040 --> 00:17:44.030
THAT IS PART OF THE DIGNITY WE
00:17:44.030 --> 00:17:45.130
WANT THEM TO EMBRACE.
00:17:45.240 --> 00:17:48.240
WE NEED OUR MOMS TO FEEL THEY
00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:50.100
ARE SO WORTH IT OF MAKING BETTER
00:17:50.100 --> 00:17:52.060
CHOICES IN LIFE.
00:17:52.060 --> 00:17:53.100
THAT THEY ARE SO WORTH IT HAVING
00:17:53.100 --> 00:17:55.240
A DIFFERENT LIFE REGARDLESS OF
00:17:55.240 --> 00:17:56.280
THEIR PAST STORY.
00:17:56.280 --> 00:17:58.030
IT IS A WAY ALSO FOR US TO
00:17:58.030 --> 00:18:00.130
EMBRACE THERE IS A WAY TO LIVE
00:18:02.010 --> 00:18:05.010
WITH DIGNITY WITHOUT THEIR PAST
00:18:05.010 --> 00:18:05.230
STORY.
00:18:06.270 --> 00:18:09.270
- Kelly: ACCORDING TO CENSUS
00:18:09.270 --> 00:18:12.110
BUREAU STATISTICS, 16.1 PERCENT
00:18:12.110 --> 00:18:13.210
OF SINGLE PARENT HOUSEHOLDS
00:18:13.210 --> 00:18:14.200
TODAY ARE HEADED BY FATHERS.
00:18:15.090 --> 00:18:18.090
THAT IS UP FROM 12.5 PERCENT IN
00:18:18.090 --> 00:18:19.080
2007.
00:18:19.080 --> 00:18:21.220
AND WHILE SOME MEN BECOME SINGLE
00:18:21.220 --> 00:18:23.130
FATHERS AS A RESULT OF A
00:18:23.130 --> 00:18:25.080
DIVORCE, OTHERS UNEXPECTEDLY
00:18:25.080 --> 00:18:28.030
FIND THEMSELVES OF BOTH MOTHER
00:18:28.030 --> 00:18:30.250
AND FATHER DUE TO THE DEATH OF A
00:18:30.250 --> 00:18:32.020
PARTNER OR SPOUSE.
00:18:34.070 --> 00:18:37.070
- THE FIRST TIME I REALIZED I
00:18:37.070 --> 00:18:38.060
WAS A WIDOWER WHEN I FILLED OUT
00:18:38.060 --> 00:18:40.180
AN APPLICATION AND THERE WAS
00:18:40.180 --> 00:18:41.210
CATEGORIES, MARRIED, SINGLE,
00:18:41.210 --> 00:18:44.010
WIDOW, WIDOWER.
00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:47.160
AND I REALIZED MY LABEL CHANGED.
00:18:47.160 --> 00:18:49.220
MY WHOLE LIFE HAD BEEN BUILT
00:18:49.220 --> 00:18:51.260
WITH ANOTHER PERSON.
00:18:51.260 --> 00:18:54.060
SO MY IDENTITY HAD BECOME
00:18:54.060 --> 00:18:56.070
CONNECTED TO THAT PERSON.
00:18:56.070 --> 00:18:58.170
SO WHEN I LOST THAT PERSON I
00:18:58.170 --> 00:18:59.290
LOST A PART OF ME.
00:19:01.020 --> 00:19:04.020
- YOU CAN TELL THAT HE WAS
00:19:04.020 --> 00:19:05.010
STRUGGLING.
00:19:05.010 --> 00:19:06.160
TRYING TO PROCESS ALL THE GRIEF
00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:08.270
THAT HAS JUST HAPPENED.
00:19:08.270 --> 00:19:10.220
- I HAD TO BELIEVE THAT YOU
00:19:10.220 --> 00:19:13.090
KNOW WHAT?
00:19:13.090 --> 00:19:15.050
I'M NOT GOING TO GET THIS
00:19:15.050 --> 00:19:17.040
PARENTING THING RIGHT BUT I'M
00:19:17.040 --> 00:19:18.040
GOING TO GIVE IT THE BEST I CAN.
00:19:18.040 --> 00:19:19.100
BEING THERE AS A FATHER FOR THEM
00:19:19.180 --> 00:19:22.180
AND BEING PRESENT WAS MY HIGHEST
00:19:22.180 --> 00:19:23.280
PRIORITY.
00:19:23.280 --> 00:19:25.030
MY TURNING POINT WAS MORE A
00:19:25.030 --> 00:19:27.240
PROCESS THAN AN EVENT.
00:19:27.240 --> 00:19:30.230
EVERYDAY I WOULD TALK TO MY
00:19:30.230 --> 00:19:33.110
FIVE-YEAR-OLD SON AND TELL HIM
00:19:33.110 --> 00:19:35.070
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT
00:19:35.070 --> 00:19:36.020
YOUR MOTHER?
00:19:36.020 --> 00:19:36.190
AND WE WOULD TALK EVERY DAY FOR
00:19:38.010 --> 00:19:41.010
ABOUT SIX MONTHS, SEVEN MONTHS,
00:19:41.010 --> 00:19:42.130
EIGHT MONTHS, EVENTUALLY ONE DAY
00:19:42.130 --> 00:19:43.270
I CAME TO HIM AND I SAID, DO YOU
00:19:43.270 --> 00:19:45.000
WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR MOTHER?
00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:46.230
HE SAID NO, I REALLY DON'T.
00:19:46.230 --> 00:19:48.130
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HER.
00:19:48.130 --> 00:19:50.150
I WANT TO DO SOMETHING ELSE.
00:19:52.030 --> 00:19:55.030
I REALIZED AT THAT POINT IN TIME
00:19:55.030 --> 00:19:57.000
THAT THE DEATH IS NOT GOING TO
00:19:57.060 --> 00:20:00.060
DEFINE US.
00:20:00.060 --> 00:20:02.020
THERE WAS A LIFE AND A FUTURE
00:20:02.020 --> 00:20:03.080
AHEAD OF US AND EVEN THOUGH SHE
00:20:03.080 --> 00:20:05.130
PASSED AWAY, THAT WE DID NOT
00:20:05.130 --> 00:20:07.070
PASS AWAY AND WE HAD TO CONTINUE
00:20:07.070 --> 00:20:10.010
TO GO FORWARD AND MOVE FORWARD
00:20:10.010 --> 00:20:12.160
AND I REMEMBER JUST FEELING MY
00:20:12.160 --> 00:20:14.260
HEART BEATING AGAIN AND
00:20:14.260 --> 00:20:16.260
BREATHING AGAIN.
00:20:16.260 --> 00:20:19.230
EVEN THOUGH SHE PASSED AWAY, THE
00:20:19.230 --> 00:20:21.070
LOVE THAT I HAD FOR HER DID NOT
00:20:22.100 --> 00:20:25.100
DIE.
00:20:25.100 --> 00:20:27.020
I BEGAN TO SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
00:20:27.020 --> 00:20:28.080
I'M GOING TO BREATHE AGAIN, I'M
00:20:28.080 --> 00:20:29.230
GOING TO LOVE AGAIN.
00:20:29.230 --> 00:20:30.280
WE ARE GOING TO CONTINUE TO LIVE
00:20:30.280 --> 00:20:31.200
OUR LIFE.
00:20:32.230 --> 00:20:35.230
- TO OPEN UP HIS HEART AGAIN, I
00:20:35.280 --> 00:20:38.280
THINK IT IS BEAUTIFUL.
00:20:38.280 --> 00:20:40.090
SO PURE.
00:20:40.090 --> 00:20:42.050
OUR LOVE IS PRETTY SPECIAL.
00:20:42.250 --> 00:20:45.250
- THE MOST EXCITING THING IN MY
00:20:45.250 --> 00:20:46.240
LIFE IS TO WRESTLE MY BOYS TO
00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:49.220
THE GROUND AND TO CHASE THEM
00:20:49.220 --> 00:20:51.180
AROUND AND TO HAVE FAMILY DAY
00:20:51.180 --> 00:20:53.280
WHERE WE ARE JUST OUT AND ABOUT.
00:20:53.280 --> 00:20:55.220
IT IS US AND NO PHONES.
00:20:55.220 --> 00:20:57.240
TO KNOW THAT HEY, WE MADE IT,
00:20:58.110 --> 00:21:01.130
GUYS.
00:21:01.130 --> 00:21:03.040
EVERY TIME I'M TACKLING THEM I'M
00:21:03.040 --> 00:21:03.280
SAYING, WE MADE IT.
00:21:03.280 --> 00:21:06.030
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
00:21:08.050 --> 00:21:11.050
- NOT MANY PEOPLE GO THROUGH
00:21:11.050 --> 00:21:12.180
BROKEN PLACES.
00:21:13.190 --> 00:21:16.190
AND STILL FIND LOVE AT THE END.
00:21:21.090 --> 00:21:24.090
- Kelly: UNLESS SHE HAS A
00:21:24.090 --> 00:21:25.050
STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM OF FRIENDS
00:21:25.050 --> 00:21:26.190
OR FAMILY, BEING A SINGLE MOM 24
00:21:26.190 --> 00:21:28.270
HOURS A DAY MEANS THERE IS NO
00:21:28.270 --> 00:21:30.240
ONE TO STEP IN JUST TO GIVE HER
00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:32.290
A BREAK.
00:21:32.290 --> 00:21:34.130
HAVING TO MAKE GOOD PARENTING
00:21:34.130 --> 00:21:36.240
DECISIONS BY HERSELF LEAVES MANY
00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:39.170
MOMS FEELING THEIR CHOICES HAVE
00:21:39.170 --> 00:21:41.100
FALLEN SHORT.
00:21:42.270 --> 00:21:45.270
- YOU WANT TO EQUIP THAT SINGLE
00:21:45.270 --> 00:21:46.260
MOM SHE IS GOING TO BE ABLE TO
00:21:46.260 --> 00:21:48.110
FIND THE RESOURCES SHE NEEDS TO
00:21:48.150 --> 00:21:51.150
GIVE HER STABILITY, SECURITY,.
00:21:56.100 --> 00:21:59.100
- WHEN YOU ARE COACHING
00:21:59.100 --> 00:22:00.220
CORRECTLY YOU ARE LEADING THE
00:22:00.220 --> 00:22:02.010
PERSON TO THEIR OWN CONCLUSION.
00:22:02.010 --> 00:22:02.240
NOT YOURS.
00:22:02.240 --> 00:22:03.240
I'M NOT ADVISING THEM.
00:22:03.240 --> 00:22:04.240
I MIGHT BE DRAWING FROM MY
00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:06.090
EXPERIENCE, BUT I'M ALLOWING
00:22:06.090 --> 00:22:08.120
THEM TO WORK DOWN THEIR OWN
00:22:08.120 --> 00:22:09.050
PATH.
00:22:09.090 --> 00:22:12.090
- WHEN SOMEBODY HAS COME TO YOU
00:22:12.090 --> 00:22:13.120
AND SAID, I'VE GONE THROUGH
00:22:13.120 --> 00:22:14.200
THIS, I'M STRUGGLING WITH THIS
00:22:14.200 --> 00:22:16.100
AND THAT WOMAN CAN SAY, ME TOO.
00:22:16.100 --> 00:22:18.150
I KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE.
00:22:18.150 --> 00:22:20.290
THERE IS SUCH A HUGE RELIEF AND
00:22:20.290 --> 00:22:23.280
A SENSE OF ACCEPTANCE THAT YOU
00:22:23.280 --> 00:22:25.160
CAN FORM A RELATIONSHIP THAT CAN
00:22:25.160 --> 00:22:28.020
MOVE FORWARD IN A HEALTHY WAY.
00:22:28.030 --> 00:22:31.030
- THIS MIGHT BE A SEASON IN
00:22:31.030 --> 00:22:32.120
YOUR LIFE.
00:22:32.120 --> 00:22:33.150
THERE ARE RESOURCES OUT THERE.
00:22:33.150 --> 00:22:34.240
THERE ARE PEOPLE THERE WILLING
00:22:34.240 --> 00:22:36.020
TO HELP.
00:22:36.020 --> 00:22:37.240
- I'M JUST A ONE ASSET, ONE
00:22:37.240 --> 00:22:40.030
RESOURCE, ONE TOOL FOR HER.
00:22:40.030 --> 00:22:41.280
IN ORDER TO HELP HER SEE ALL THE
00:22:42.290 --> 00:22:45.290
RESOURCES THAT ARE AT HER
00:22:45.290 --> 00:22:46.260
FINGERTIPS.
00:22:46.260 --> 00:22:48.190
- TO SEE A WOMAN REALLY
00:22:48.190 --> 00:22:50.090
UNDERSTAND WHO SHE IS.
00:22:50.090 --> 00:22:52.160
ASIDE FROM ALL THE LABELS AND
00:22:52.180 --> 00:22:55.180
THE BELIEFS SHE MAY HAVE
00:22:55.180 --> 00:22:56.220
PREVIOUSLY HELD FOR HERSELF.
00:22:56.220 --> 00:22:57.280
TO BREAK FREE FROM THAT IS
00:22:57.280 --> 00:22:59.010
INCREDIBLE.
00:22:59.010 --> 00:23:02.000
- YOUR PAST DOES NOT HAVE TO
00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:03.010
DEFINE YOUR FUTURE.
00:23:03.010 --> 00:23:05.010
YOUR PAST STORY DOES NOT HAVE TO
00:23:05.010 --> 00:23:07.160
DETERMINE WHERE YOU ARE GOING
00:23:07.160 --> 00:23:09.070
AND WHERE YOUR KIDS ARE GOING TO
00:23:09.070 --> 00:23:10.010
GO.
00:23:10.010 --> 00:23:11.160
- I SEE IT ON A DAILY BASIS,
00:23:11.160 --> 00:23:13.030
MOMS THAT ARE WANTING TO WORK,
00:23:13.030 --> 00:23:14.260
WANT TO MOVE FORWARD.
00:23:14.260 --> 00:23:16.030
AND BE EMPOWERED AND THRIVE.
00:23:17.140 --> 00:23:20.140
IT IS REALLY WHAT KEEPS US
00:23:20.140 --> 00:23:21.040
GOING.
00:23:21.040 --> 00:23:23.280
- WE HAVE TO BEGIN TO CREATE
00:23:24.030 --> 00:23:27.030
NEW BEHAVIORS, AND NEW PATTERNS
00:23:27.030 --> 00:23:28.110
THAT SAY THAT'S OLD AND THIS IS
00:23:28.110 --> 00:23:31.020
WHAT NEW LOOKS LIKE.
00:23:31.020 --> 00:23:33.200
WHAT WE NEED TO DO IS REACH OUT
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:34.260
GET TO KNOW THAT MOM.
00:23:34.260 --> 00:23:35.230
CAN WE DRIVE CARPOOL?
00:23:35.230 --> 00:23:38.110
CAN WE DO THINGS THAT WILL
00:23:38.110 --> 00:23:40.020
ALLEVIATE SOME OF HER BURDEN?
00:23:40.020 --> 00:23:41.280
AND THERE BY ALSO INCLUDE US IN
00:23:41.280 --> 00:23:44.120
THE RAISING OF THAT CHILD.
00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:48.000
- WOMEN ARE INCREDIBLE.
00:23:48.000 --> 00:23:49.090
WOMEN ARE INCREDIBLE CREATURES.
00:23:51.000 --> 00:23:54.000
AND IT HAS BEEN MY PRIVILEGE TO
00:23:54.000 --> 00:23:55.030
SEE SO MANY WOMEN COME TO PEACE
00:23:55.030 --> 00:23:57.160
WITH THEIR SINGLE PARENTING
00:23:57.160 --> 00:23:58.140
JOURNEY.
00:23:58.140 --> 00:24:00.280
- MAYBE YOU ARE WATCHING THIS
00:24:00.280 --> 00:24:01.230
RIGHT NOW.
00:24:01.230 --> 00:24:03.000
MAYBE YOU ARE SOMEBODY WHO IS
00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:03.260
STRUGGLING WITH PAIN.
00:24:03.260 --> 00:24:04.270
MAYBE YOU ARE SOMEBODY WHO LOST
00:24:04.270 --> 00:24:06.040
HOPE.
00:24:06.040 --> 00:24:08.000
I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT THERE IS
00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:09.260
ALWAYS A NEW START.
00:24:09.260 --> 00:24:12.040
THERE COULD ALWAYS BE A NEW
00:24:12.040 --> 00:24:13.130
NORMAL.
00:24:13.130 --> 00:24:16.040
- THAT GRIT AND DETERMINATION,
00:24:16.040 --> 00:24:17.090
THAT HARD WORK AND PERSEVERANCE
00:24:17.090 --> 00:24:20.010
YOU USE TO GET THROUGH EVERY
00:24:20.010 --> 00:24:21.080
DAY, LET THOSE THINGS FUEL YOUR
00:24:21.080 --> 00:24:23.140
FIRE.
00:24:23.140 --> 00:24:24.260
LET THOSE THINGS PUSH YOU TO BE
00:24:24.260 --> 00:24:26.090
EXACTLY WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO
00:24:26.090 --> 00:24:27.090
BE.
00:24:27.090 --> 00:24:29.160
BECAUSE YOU ARE CAPABLE OF
00:24:29.160 --> 00:24:30.050
ANYTHING YOU WISH.
00:24:30.050 --> 00:24:32.180
I THINK WE HAVE POWERS THAT WE
00:24:32.180 --> 00:24:34.140
CAN HARNESS IN THESE WOMEN.
00:24:34.140 --> 00:24:36.000
I THINK BY DETERMINATION AND
00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:37.280
PERSEVERANCE HAS A HUGE VALUE.
00:24:37.280 --> 00:24:40.030
AND I KNOW THESE CHILDREN ARE
00:24:40.100 --> 00:24:43.100
INCREDIBLE CHILDREN.
00:24:43.100 --> 00:24:45.030
AND THEY DON'T HAVE TO FEEL LIKE
00:24:45.030 --> 00:24:46.030
THEY ARE ANY LESS.
00:24:46.030 --> 00:24:48.030
THIS CIRCUMSTANCE DOES NOT HAVE
00:24:48.030 --> 00:24:49.230
TO BE A NEGATIVE FOR THEM.
00:24:49.230 --> 00:24:51.160
WE JUST HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW
00:24:51.160 --> 00:24:52.200
TO FILL THE HOLES.
00:24:52.200 --> 00:24:55.060
- AND TO SEE THEM BREAK FREE
00:24:56.090 --> 00:24:59.090
FROM ALL THAT OPPRESSION AND
00:24:59.090 --> 00:25:02.110
THAT SENSE OF GUILT AND JUST SEE
00:25:02.110 --> 00:25:04.230
THEM ON THE OTHER SIDE, THE FREE
00:25:04.230 --> 00:25:06.020
SIDE, IS JUST ONE OF THE BEST
00:25:06.020 --> 00:25:06.280
AND MOST REWARDING FEELINGS
00:25:06.280 --> 00:25:08.140
EVER.
00:25:08.200 --> 00:25:11.200
- ANYTHING YOU WANT IN THIS
00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:12.210
LIFE CAN BE ACHIEVED.
00:25:14.190 --> 00:25:17.190
YOUR BEING A SINGLE MOTHER OR
00:25:17.190 --> 00:25:19.100
THE CHILD OF A SINGLE MOTHER
00:25:19.100 --> 00:25:21.110
DOES NOT MEAN AN OUTCOME JUST
00:25:21.110 --> 00:25:23.110
BECAUSE THE STATISTICS SAY SO.
00:25:23.290 --> 00:25:26.290
YOU CAN HAVE AND ACHIEVE
00:25:26.290 --> 00:25:28.030
ANYTHING YOU LIKE.
00:25:31.180 --> 00:25:34.180
- THERE ARE APPROXIMATELY
00:25:34.180 --> 00:25:35.190
14 MILLION SINGLE PARENTS IN THE
00:25:35.190 --> 00:25:37.090
UNITED STATES TODAY AND THOSE
00:25:37.090 --> 00:25:39.070
PARENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR
00:25:39.070 --> 00:25:39.270
RAISING NEARLY 20 MILLION
00:25:39.270 --> 00:25:41.000
CHILDREN.
00:25:41.000 --> 00:25:43.240
BECAUSE SINGLE MOTHERS AND
00:25:43.240 --> 00:25:44.200
FATHERS FACE INCREDIBLE WORK
00:25:44.200 --> 00:25:46.130
LIFE BALANCE ISSUES, THEY HAVE A
00:25:46.130 --> 00:25:47.210
MUCH HIGHER LIKELIHOOD OF LIVING
00:25:47.210 --> 00:25:49.070
IN POVERTY, THE EMOTIONAL AND
00:25:49.070 --> 00:25:50.240
FINANCIAL TOLL CAN BECOME
00:25:50.240 --> 00:25:51.230
UNBEARABLE.
00:25:51.230 --> 00:25:53.130
LEAVING MANY FEELING TRAPPED
00:25:53.130 --> 00:25:54.130
UNDER A MOUNTAIN OF
00:25:54.130 --> 00:25:55.190
RESPONSIBILITY THAT LEADS THEM
00:25:55.190 --> 00:25:57.160
INTO SOCIAL ISOLATION.
00:25:57.160 --> 00:25:59.170
WHILE MOST SINGLE PARENTS ARE
00:25:59.170 --> 00:26:01.110
DOING THEIR BEST MANY DON'T HAVE
00:26:01.110 --> 00:26:02.230
A STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM OF
00:26:02.230 --> 00:26:04.020
FRIENDS AND FAMILY, BEING A
00:26:04.020 --> 00:26:05.120
SINGLE PARENT 24 HOURS A DAY
00:26:05.120 --> 00:26:07.050
MEANS THERE IS NO ONE TO STEP IN
00:26:07.050 --> 00:26:08.020
AND GIVE THEM A BREAK.
00:26:08.020 --> 00:26:10.090
SOLO PARENT SOCIETY IS A
00:26:10.090 --> 00:26:11.040
NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION THAT
00:26:11.040 --> 00:26:12.210
HELPS SINGLE PARENTS AND THEIR
00:26:12.210 --> 00:26:14.000
FAMILIES THRIVE THROUGH POWERFUL
00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:15.210
RESOURCES, AUTHENTIC COMMUNITY
00:26:15.210 --> 00:26:17.140
AND ADVOCACY TO PROVIDE RELIEF
00:26:17.140 --> 00:26:19.180
AND SUPPORT, TO LEARN MORE GO TO
00:26:19.180 --> 00:26:21.110
SOLO PARENTS SOCIETY.COM OR CALL
00:26:21.110 --> 00:26:23.270
(888)881-7656.
00:26:30.030 --> 00:26:33.030
- Kelly: IT HAS BEEN SAID IT
00:26:33.030 --> 00:26:33.290
TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A
00:26:33.290 --> 00:26:34.190
CHILD.
00:26:34.190 --> 00:26:35.140
HELPING SINGLE PARENTS FEEL PART
00:26:35.140 --> 00:26:37.030
OF A CARING COMMUNITY THAT IS
00:26:37.030 --> 00:26:38.220
WALKING BESIDE THEM CHANGES
00:26:38.220 --> 00:26:41.190
EVERYTHING.
00:26:41.190 --> 00:26:44.150
SO NOW IS THE TIME FOR LEADERS
00:26:44.150 --> 00:26:45.080
AT EVERY LEVEL TO LOOK AT
00:26:45.080 --> 00:26:46.130
REFORM.
00:26:46.130 --> 00:26:47.210
HOW CAN WE SUPPORT THESE
00:26:47.210 --> 00:26:49.280
VULNERABLE PARENTS AND CHILDREN
00:26:49.280 --> 00:26:51.020
THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE.
00:26:51.080 --> 00:26:54.080
WE IN THE FAITH COMMUNITY HAVE
00:26:54.080 --> 00:26:55.080
AN OBLIGATION TO STEP UP AND
00:26:55.080 --> 00:26:57.000
SUPPORT THESE SINGLE MOMS AND
00:26:57.000 --> 00:26:58.280
SINGLE DADS.
00:26:58.280 --> 00:27:00.220
FOR ALL OF US HERE, I'M KELLY
00:27:00.220 --> 00:27:02.140
WRIGHT AND TOGETHER, WE ARE
00:27:02.140 --> 00:27:04.170
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS.
00:27:04.170 --> 00:27:07.100
MUSIC
00:27:07.100 --> 00:27:08.080
- I'M TARA TAYLOR AND I'M
00:27:08.080 --> 00:27:09.000
HELPING WOMEN BECOME SINGLE MOM
00:27:09.000 --> 00:27:09.220
STRONG.
00:27:09.220 --> 00:27:11.280
- MY NAME IS YORLENI SAPP AND I
00:27:11.280 --> 00:27:12.290
LOVE WHAT I DO.
00:27:12.290 --> 00:27:14.140
- MY NAME IS T.J. ANGLIN AND I
00:27:14.140 --> 00:27:15.090
WAS A SINGLE FATHER.
00:27:15.090 --> 00:27:17.000
- MY NAME IS CASSIE RAGEWICH
00:27:17.000 --> 00:27:18.170
AND I HELP SINGLE MOMS MASTER
00:27:18.170 --> 00:27:19.190
THEIR MESS.
00:27:19.190 --> 00:27:21.000
- MY NAME IS BRANDI DAILY, MY
00:27:21.000 --> 00:27:21.290
MISSION IS TO HELP SINGLE MOMS
00:27:21.290 --> 00:27:23.170
THRIVE.
00:27:23.170 --> 00:27:26.010

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