Adult Male Suicide
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Adult Male Suicide
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- HE TOLD ME HE WENT DOWN TO GO BUY A GUN.
- 00:00:02.190 --> 00:00:06.290
- - HOW MANY PERSONAL PEOPLE I'VE KNOWN THAT
- 00:00:07.010 --> 00:00:11.150
- HAVE COMMITTED SUICIDE, I MEAN, THERE ARE SO MANY.
- 00:00:11.170 --> 00:00:16.070
- - I HAD 45 MINUTES TO GET GLOVES AND BLEACH.
- 00:00:18.130 --> 00:00:21.010
- I KNEW WHAT I WAS GOING TO SMELL.
- 00:00:21.030 --> 00:00:22.160
- I KNEW WHAT I WAS GOING TO SEE.
- 00:00:22.180 --> 00:00:24.150
- I'D SEEN IT TOO MANY TIMES BEFORE.
- 00:00:24.170 --> 00:00:28.000
- - ONE GENTLEMAN HAD A SECRET.
- 00:00:29.160 --> 00:00:32.230
- HE WAS INVOLVED WITH A MARRIED WOMAN, AND IT GOT
- 00:00:32.250 --> 00:00:35.090
- FOUND OUT.
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- HE LAID DOWN IN FRONT OF A TRAIN.
- 00:00:36.150 --> 00:00:37.290
- CUT HIM IN HALF.
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- ANOTHER MAN THAT I KNEW YEARS AGO HUNG HIMSELF.
- 00:00:41.250 --> 00:00:46.030
- ANOTHER GENTLEMAN CUT HIS WRISTS AND LAID IN
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- THE BATHTUB.
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- THEY KNOCKED DOWN THE DOOR A COUPLE DAYS AND
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- FOUND HIM.
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- [MUSIC]
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- TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS ...
- 00:00:59.230 --> 00:01:04.230
- TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS ...
- 00:01:07.150 --> 00:01:11.240
- [MUSIC]
- 00:01:11.260 --> 00:01:19.160
- - KELLY WRIGHT: I'M KELLY WRIGHT, AND TOGETHER
- 00:01:19.180 --> 00:01:20.240
- WE'RE TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS.
- 00:01:20.260 --> 00:01:22.120
- THE DEATH RATE IN THE US IS THE HIGHEST IT HAS
- 00:01:22.140 --> 00:01:25.240
- EVER BEEN IN IT ITSELF HISTORY.
- 00:01:25.260 --> 00:01:27.190
- JUST LAST YEAR WE LOST 47.000 LIVES TO
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- SUICIDE ALONE.
- 00:01:31.180 --> 00:01:33.160
- THE HIGHEST NUMBER IN 50 YEARS.
- 00:01:33.180 --> 00:01:35.100
- 70.000 AMERICANS DIED FROM DRUG OVERDOSE.
- 00:01:35.120 --> 00:01:38.230
- 88.000 WERE LOST TO ALCOHOL ADDICTION.
- 00:01:38.250 --> 00:01:41.250
- SELF-HARM HAS BECOME ALL TOO COMMON.
- 00:01:41.270 --> 00:01:45.080
- WHILE MANY SADLY HOLD A GUN TO THEIR HEAD, OTHERS
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- HOLD A BOTTLE INSTEAD.
- 00:01:48.170 --> 00:01:51.040
- SUICIDE IN SLOW MOTION.
- 00:01:51.060 --> 00:01:55.050
- DEPRESSION AND PAINFUL ADDICTIONS THAT ARE
- 00:01:55.070 --> 00:01:57.100
- TAKING AMERICANS OUT IN THE VERY PRIME OF THEIR LIVES.
- 00:01:57.120 --> 00:02:02.030
- [MUSIC]
- 00:02:02.050 --> 00:02:10.270
- [MUSIC]
- 00:02:10.270 --> 00:02:18.130
- - THE PROBLEM IS HUGE.
- 00:02:18.150 --> 00:02:20.190
- WE'RE STARTING TO GET SOME NEW STATISTICS THAT
- 00:02:20.210 --> 00:02:22.180
- ARE SHOWING, FIRST OF ALL, THAT OVERDOSE DEATHS
- 00:02:22.200 --> 00:02:25.270
- HAVE NOW OVERTAKEN MOTOR VEHICLE ACCIDENTS AS
- 00:02:25.290 --> 00:02:28.280
- THE LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH IN THE UNITED STATES.
- 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:32.050
- WE'RE SEEING SPIKES IN SUICIDES, ESPECIALLY
- 00:02:32.070 --> 00:02:35.060
- AMONG WHITE MALES IN EARLY MIDDLE AGE AND
- 00:02:35.080 --> 00:02:38.200
- INTO THEIR 60'S.
- 00:02:38.220 --> 00:02:40.060
- THE PROBLEM IS HUGE.
- 00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:43.060
- [MUSIC]
- 00:02:43.080 --> 00:02:47.260
- - DEATH BY DESPAIR, I SPENT MANY YEARS WORKING
- 00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:51.070
- AS THE PRIMARY THERAPIST IN THE MEN'S RESIDENTIAL
- 00:02:51.090 --> 00:02:53.270
- TREATMENT CENTER.
- 00:02:53.290 --> 00:02:55.280
- AND ONE THING I SAW WAS A LOT OF MEN REALLY DID
- 00:02:56.000 --> 00:02:59.080
- START OUT WITH THE BEST INTENTIONS AND THE
- 00:02:59.100 --> 00:03:01.210
- BEST PLANS.
- 00:03:01.230 --> 00:03:03.260
- INEVITABLY THEY MAY HAVE AN ACCIDENT OR AN OLD
- 00:03:03.280 --> 00:03:06.210
- FOOTBALL INJURY OR NEEDS SHOULDER SURGERY, AND I
- 00:03:06.230 --> 00:03:10.000
- CAN'T TELL YOU THE NUMBER OF MEN FOR WHOM SOME TYPE
- 00:03:10.020 --> 00:03:14.040
- OF SURGERY BECAME THAT PORTAL THAT LED TO A
- 00:03:14.060 --> 00:03:18.230
- WHOLE OTHER WORLD OF ADDICTION.
- 00:03:18.250 --> 00:03:20.280
- AND THERE WAS THE DEEP SHAME.
- 00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:22.290
- THEY COULDN'T GET THROUGH IT.
- 00:03:23.010 --> 00:03:25.060
- YOU KNOW, ONCE SOMEONE BECOMES AN ADDICT OR AN
- 00:03:25.080 --> 00:03:27.190
- ALCOHOLIC, THERE'S NO GUARANTEES.
- 00:03:27.210 --> 00:03:29.280
- NO ONE KILLS THEMSELVES SLOWLY WITH DRUGS.
- 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:32.070
- YOU GO FAST AND THEY USUALLY DON'T LAST LONG
- 00:03:32.090 --> 00:03:36.190
- OR IT'S SO MUCH MORE INTENSE.
- 00:03:36.210 --> 00:03:38.240
- ALCOHOL IS A MUCH SLOWER WAY TO GO.
- 00:03:38.260 --> 00:03:43.060
- JUST AS TRAGIC, BUT IT TAKES LONGER TIME.
- 00:03:43.080 --> 00:03:46.070
- THE ADDICTS GO A LOT QUICKER.
- 00:03:46.090 --> 00:03:48.240
- I'LL TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE ADDICT I'VE EVER
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- WORKED WITH IF HE OR SHE HAS NOT EVER
- 00:03:52.150 --> 00:03:54.260
- CONTEMPLATED SUICIDE I DON'T THINK THEY'RE TRUE
- 00:03:54.280 --> 00:03:58.010
- ALCOHOLICS AND ADDICTS BECAUSE OF THE STATE OF
- 00:03:58.030 --> 00:04:00.090
- THE AFFAIRS THEIR LIVES GET INTO.
- 00:04:00.110 --> 00:04:02.290
- I DON'T WANT TO SOUND LIKE I'M HARDENED BY IT,
- 00:04:03.010 --> 00:04:05.180
- BUT SUICIDE IT'S SO COMMON BECAUSE WHEN
- 00:04:05.200 --> 00:04:10.020
- SOMEONE IS ADDICTED THEY COULD LOOK AROUND AND SEE
- 00:04:10.040 --> 00:04:13.070
- THE PAIN AND THE HORROR, THE SORROW, THE
- 00:04:13.090 --> 00:04:16.240
- DESTRUCTION THAT THEY ARE ACTIVELY CREATING, AND TO
- 00:04:16.260 --> 00:04:21.000
- LIVE WITH THAT KIND OF PAIN ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU
- 00:04:21.020 --> 00:04:23.270
- HAVE CHILDREN IN THE MIX, YOU HAVE WIVES WHOSE
- 00:04:23.290 --> 00:04:26.290
- HEARTS ARE BROKEN, I MEAN, I CAN'T EVEN PUT A
- 00:04:27.010 --> 00:04:30.110
- NUMBER ON IT.
- 00:04:30.130 --> 00:04:31.280
- [GUNSHOT]
- 00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:33.150
- [MUSIC]
- 00:04:33.170 --> 00:04:39.130
- - I NEVER WANTED TO GET INTO THIS.
- 00:04:39.150 --> 00:04:41.180
- I NEVER WANTED TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH
- 00:04:41.200 --> 00:04:43.160
- ADDICTS, ALCOHOLICS, DRUG ADDICTS, ANYTHING TO DO
- 00:04:43.180 --> 00:04:46.040
- WITH ADDICTION.
- 00:04:46.060 --> 00:04:47.260
- MY FIRST HUSBAND WAS AN ALCOHOLIC.
- 00:04:47.280 --> 00:04:49.260
- IT DESTROYED OUR MARRIAGE AND OUR DAUGHTER.
- 00:04:49.280 --> 00:04:53.230
- IT WAS HORRIBLE AND SOMETHING I DIDN'T EVEN
- 00:04:53.250 --> 00:04:56.240
- SEE COMING.
- 00:04:56.260 --> 00:04:58.120
- HE WAS A FUNCTIONAL ALCOHOLIC, AND HE WAS
- 00:04:58.140 --> 00:05:01.120
- JUST THE SWEETEST, NICEST PERSON IN THE WORLD AND I
- 00:05:01.140 --> 00:05:04.130
- ADORED HIM, BUT THE ADDICTION BECAME SUCH
- 00:05:04.150 --> 00:05:08.100
- THAT IT WAS UNBEARABLE TO LIVE WITH.
- 00:05:08.120 --> 00:05:12.180
- HE DIDN'T WANT TO LET GO OF IT, AND IT EVENTUALLY
- 00:05:12.200 --> 00:05:15.090
- KILLED HIM.
- 00:05:15.110 --> 00:05:16.260
- MY DAUGHTER WAS ABOUT FIVE YEARS OLD.
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- HE WAS 36, AND HE TRIED TO DETOX HIMSELF.
- 00:05:19.130 --> 00:05:23.020
- WE HAD SEPARATED BY THAT TIME.
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- HE WAS SUPPOSED TO COME OUT FOR OUR DAUGHTER'S
- 00:05:25.210 --> 00:05:28.060
- BIRTHDAY AND NO ONE COULD GET HOLD OF HIM.
- 00:05:28.080 --> 00:05:30.040
- AND WHEN KNEW WHENEVER THERE WAS A TIME OF
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- ISOLATION OR A TIME WE COULDN'T REACH HIM
- 00:05:32.170 --> 00:05:34.280
- SOMETHING WAS VERY WRONG.
- 00:05:35.000 --> 00:05:38.130
- SO THE FAMILY FLEW OUT TO TEXAS TO GO FIND OUT WHAT
- 00:05:38.150 --> 00:05:41.180
- HAD HAPPENED AND THEY FOUND HIM.
- 00:05:41.200 --> 00:05:43.250
- HE WAS ALONE.
- 00:05:43.270 --> 00:05:45.130
- HE HAD TAKEN ALL THE ALCOHOL OUT OF THE HOUSE.
- 00:05:45.150 --> 00:05:47.150
- HE WAS TRYING TO DETOX HIMSELF.
- 00:05:47.170 --> 00:05:49.190
- HE WAS TRYING SO HARD TO GET HIS LIFE TOGETHER.
- 00:05:49.210 --> 00:05:52.280
- AND HE DIED.
- 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:54.150
- HE HAD VOMITING.
- 00:05:54.170 --> 00:05:58.170
- HE DIED OF A RUPTURED ESOPHAGUS OF ALL THINGS,
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- AND THEY FOUND HIM ON THE FLOOR.
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- THEY HAD TO BREAK A WINDOW OPEN TO GET HIM.
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- [GLASS BREAKING]
- 00:06:05.080 --> 00:06:06.150
- - ADDICTION AND MENTAL ILLNESS GO HAND IN HAND,
- 00:06:08.100 --> 00:06:12.280
- AND YOU CAN'T TELL WHICH CAME FIRST.
- 00:06:13.000 --> 00:06:15.150
- IS IT THE MENTAL ILLNESS OR IS IT THE ADDICTION?
- 00:06:15.170 --> 00:06:18.000
- DEALING WITH AN ADDICTION IT'S A DISEASE THAT
- 00:06:18.020 --> 00:06:22.130
- CONSUMES A HUMAN BEING FROM THE INSIDE OUT.
- 00:06:22.150 --> 00:06:26.060
- WHAT CAN I DO ..
- 00:06:26.080 --> 00:06:29.230
- - IT'S A TOUGH DEAL. IT REALLY IS.
- 00:06:29.250 --> 00:06:31.180
- PEOPLE THAT HAVE DEPRESSION THAT'S WHERE
- 00:06:31.200 --> 00:06:34.100
- MOST SUICIDES THAT I'VE BEEN AROUND STARTS.
- 00:06:34.120 --> 00:06:38.230
- THEY ISOLATE.
- 00:06:38.250 --> 00:06:40.200
- AND THEY LET THEIR HEAD TALK TO THEM.
- 00:06:40.220 --> 00:06:42.170
- I DON'T MAKE ENOUGH MONEY.
- 00:06:42.190 --> 00:06:44.270
- I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT GIRLFRIEND OR I DON'T
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- HAVE ONE.
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- YOU KNOW, LIFE IS JUST NOT WORTH LIVING.
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- I HAVE NO PURPOSE.
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- RESCUE ME ...
- 00:06:52.080 --> 00:06:58.110
- - I CAME TO AMERICA TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE
- 00:06:59.040 --> 00:07:00.230
- WITH MY MUSIC.
- 00:07:00.250 --> 00:07:02.010
- I'M A MUSICIAN.
- 00:07:02.030 --> 00:07:03.080
- I'M A SINGER SONGWRITER, AND I LOVE BEING WITH
- 00:07:03.100 --> 00:07:05.220
- PEOPLE AND SING SONGS AND MUSIC THAT BRINGS HOPE.
- 00:07:05.240 --> 00:07:09.070
- SO I MET THIS GUY CALLED DAVE, AND HE INVITED ME
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- DOWN TO HIS COMMUNITY WHICH IS A WHOLE LOT OF
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- PEOPLE LIKE ME, A LITTLE BROKEN AND YET
- 00:07:14.220 --> 00:07:18.040
- KIND OF NORMAL.
- 00:07:18.060 --> 00:07:19.230
- AND THAT'S THE THING, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE WHO ARE
- 00:07:19.250 --> 00:07:22.060
- STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTIONS WHETHER IT'S
- 00:07:22.080 --> 00:07:24.160
- DEPRESSION OR ALCOHOL OR DRUGS, THEY'RE
- 00:07:24.180 --> 00:07:26.250
- NORMAL PEOPLE.
- 00:07:26.270 --> 00:07:28.130
- AND IT'S THE MOST DELIGHTFUL EXPERIENCE FOR
- 00:07:28.150 --> 00:07:30.010
- ME, AND NOW REALLY I'M PART OF THEIR COMMUNITY.
- 00:07:30.030 --> 00:07:32.010
- AND IT'S MAYBE WHY I'M STILL HERE.
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- [MUSIC]
- 00:07:34.210 --> 00:07:39.270
- - JEFF WAS THAT GUY THAT KNOWS EVERYBODY IN TOWN
- 00:07:39.290 --> 00:07:42.140
- AND EVERYBODY LIKES JEFF.
- 00:07:42.160 --> 00:07:44.110
- EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE AROUND JEFF.
- 00:07:44.130 --> 00:07:46.030
- AND HE MADE PEOPLE FEEL SPECIAL EVEN IF YOU
- 00:07:46.050 --> 00:07:50.070
- DIDN'T FEEL SPECIAL.
- 00:07:50.090 --> 00:07:52.030
- AND I WAS PARTICULARLY DRAWN TO HIM BECAUSE OF
- 00:07:52.050 --> 00:07:53.250
- THE WAY HE HELPED MY SON WHO FELT LIKE AN
- 00:07:53.270 --> 00:07:56.290
- OUTSIDER, AND HE JEFF WOULD JUST HANG OUT
- 00:07:57.010 --> 00:07:59.150
- WITH HIM.
- 00:07:59.170 --> 00:08:01.080
- IT WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO BE WITH MY SON JAMES THAN
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- BE WITH THE PARTY.
- 00:08:03.270 --> 00:08:05.070
- HE WAS THAT GUY.
- 00:08:05.090 --> 00:08:06.270
- HE'S JUST SO SPECIAL.
- 00:08:06.290 --> 00:08:09.290
- - JEFF AND I GOT STARTED WORKING TOGETHER BECAUSE
- 00:08:10.010 --> 00:08:12.140
- I WAS PLAYING IN THIS BAND THAT WAS PLAYING FOR
- 00:08:12.160 --> 00:08:14.140
- THE RECOVERY COMMUNITY IN A CHURCH SETTING, AND
- 00:08:14.160 --> 00:08:18.260
- JEFF WAS MARRIED TO THE LEAD SINGER IN OUR GROUP.
- 00:08:18.280 --> 00:08:23.260
- HE WAS A HEROIN ADDICT.
- 00:08:23.280 --> 00:08:25.120
- HE WAS ABOUT NINE YEARS CLEAN AT THE TIME, AND HE
- 00:08:25.140 --> 00:08:28.070
- ASKED ME TO START TAKING ONE OF THE 12 STEPS EACH
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- MONTH AND TEACH THEM TO THE GROUP MIXING IN
- 00:08:31.280 --> 00:08:36.110
- SPIRITUAL COMPONENTS.
- 00:08:36.130 --> 00:08:37.280
- IT JUST CHANGED EVERYTHING FOR ME.
- 00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:40.170
- I FOUND A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO WERE RIGHT AT THE
- 00:08:40.190 --> 00:08:43.200
- EDGE, AND THEY WERE PEOPLE WHO WERE ACTUALLY
- 00:08:43.220 --> 00:08:46.010
- CAPABLE OF CHANGE.
- 00:08:46.030 --> 00:08:47.160
- THEY HAD GOTTEN TO THE PLACE WHERE THEY WERE
- 00:08:47.180 --> 00:08:49.130
- COMPLETELY TRANSPARENT AND AUTHENTIC IN THEIR
- 00:08:49.150 --> 00:08:51.180
- LIVES, AND I JUST FELL IN LOVE.
- 00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:54.070
- AND IT TURNED OUT THAT THROUGH THAT EXPERIENCE
- 00:08:54.090 --> 00:08:57.240
- THESE PEOPLE BECAME MY BEST FRIENDS AND MY
- 00:08:57.260 --> 00:08:59.130
- PARTNERS FOR THE NEXT 15 YEARS.
- 00:08:59.150 --> 00:09:01.200
- THROUGH THAT, I GOT TO KNOW JEFF.
- 00:09:01.220 --> 00:09:03.040
- I GOT TO KNOW THE 12 STEPS.
- 00:09:03.060 --> 00:09:04.150
- I HAD TO BECOME EDUCATED IN ALL THIS.
- 00:09:04.170 --> 00:09:06.090
- AS WE WENT FORWARD, WE OPENED AN INTENSIVE
- 00:09:06.110 --> 00:09:09.020
- OUTPATIENT TREATMENT CENTER
- 00:09:09.040 --> 00:09:10.230
- AND THEN EVENTUALLY A FULL DETOX AND
- 00:09:10.250 --> 00:09:12.190
- RESIDENTIAL TREATMENT CENTER.
- 00:09:12.210 --> 00:09:14.290
- - JEFF, HE'S LARGER THAN LIFE.
- 00:09:16.210 --> 00:09:18.120
- HE'S OVERCOME HIS STUFF AND HE'S GOT HOPES AND
- 00:09:18.140 --> 00:09:21.070
- DREAMS, AND HE'S GOT DAVE WANTING TO START THIS
- 00:09:21.090 --> 00:09:23.060
- RECOVERY THING.
- 00:09:23.080 --> 00:09:25.040
- WELL DAVE, HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH PEOPLE.
- 00:09:25.060 --> 00:09:27.020
- HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH THIS RECOVERY COMMUNITY.
- 00:09:27.040 --> 00:09:30.040
- AND MARION IS FALLING IN LOVE WITH DAVE,
- 00:09:30.060 --> 00:09:32.050
- AND MARION IS NOT FALLING IN LOVE WITH
- 00:09:32.070 --> 00:09:33.280
- THE RECOVERY THING.
- 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:36.160
- - DAVE WAS EVERYTHING THAT I EVER DREAMED OF
- 00:09:37.240 --> 00:09:41.170
- THAT I THOUGHT I HAD HAD WITH MY FIRST HUSBAND.
- 00:09:41.190 --> 00:09:44.080
- HE WAS JUST A BEAUTIFUL PERSON.
- 00:09:44.100 --> 00:09:46.230
- HE IS A BEAUTIFUL PERSON.
- 00:09:46.250 --> 00:09:48.160
- AND THE BEGINNING OF OUR MARRIAGE WAS NEWNESS AND
- 00:09:48.180 --> 00:09:52.160
- BEAUTY, AND HE ACCEPTED MY DAUGHTER AS HIS OWN,
- 00:09:52.180 --> 00:09:54.210
- AND IT WAS GREAT.
- 00:09:54.230 --> 00:09:56.020
- WE WERE BLENDING TWO FAMILIES. WE WERE HAPPY.
- 00:09:56.040 --> 00:10:00.010
- AND THEN MY HUSBAND FELL IN LOVE WITH THE RECOVERY
- 00:10:00.030 --> 00:10:04.030
- COMMUNITY, WHICH WAS A BLOW TO ME BECAUSE I
- 00:10:04.050 --> 00:10:07.150
- WANTED TO RUN AS FAR AWAY AS I COULD FROM ADDICTION.
- 00:10:07.170 --> 00:10:10.220
- I DIDN'T WANT TO BE AROUND ADDICTS.
- 00:10:10.240 --> 00:10:12.120
- I FELT THAT I HAD GONE ON WITH MY LIFE AND I WAS IN
- 00:10:12.140 --> 00:10:15.130
- A BETTER PLACE, AND IT ALMOST DESTROYED
- 00:10:15.150 --> 00:10:18.120
- ME IN THE BEGINNING.
- 00:10:18.140 --> 00:10:20.070
- I THOUGHT YOU KNOW ME AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN
- 00:10:20.090 --> 00:10:22.190
- THROUGH, AND YOU'VE SEEN WHAT IT'S DONE TO ME AND
- 00:10:22.210 --> 00:10:25.110
- TO MY DAUGHTER, AND THIS IS WHERE YOU'RE TAKING ME?
- 00:10:25.130 --> 00:10:28.020
- THIS IS THE PATH WE'RE ON RIGHT NOW?
- 00:10:28.040 --> 00:10:30.000
- I THOUGHT IT WAS A CRUEL JOKE HONESTLY.
- 00:10:30.020 --> 00:10:34.210
- AND THEN TO ADD TO THE CRUEL JOKE,
- 00:10:34.230 --> 00:10:38.190
- HE STARTS A RECOVERY COMMUNITY WITH TWO
- 00:10:38.210 --> 00:10:41.050
- RECOVERING ADDICTS.
- 00:10:41.070 --> 00:10:43.120
- HE'S THE ONE "NORMY" BETWEEN THE TWO ADDICTS.
- 00:10:43.140 --> 00:10:47.100
- [MUSIC]
- 00:10:47.120 --> 00:10:54.040
- WHEN I WAS UNLOVABLE...
- 00:10:54.060 --> 00:10:56.240
- LOVE FOUND ME...
- 00:10:56.260 --> 00:11:00.020
- - JEFF WAS THIS LARGER THAN LIFE FIGURE.
- 00:11:00.040 --> 00:11:02.260
- HE WOULD WALK INTO A ROOM AND JUST FILL IT.
- 00:11:02.280 --> 00:11:05.150
- HE WAS FULL OF ENERGY TO THE POINT OF ALMOST BEING
- 00:11:05.170 --> 00:11:09.080
- MANIC. HE ALWAYS HAD A PHONE AT HIS EAR BECAUSE
- 00:11:09.100 --> 00:11:12.210
- HE WAS TALKING TO EVERYBODY ALL AT ONCE.
- 00:11:12.230 --> 00:11:15.060
- HE NEVER STOPPED. HE WAS A WHIRLWIND.
- 00:11:15.080 --> 00:11:18.120
- - JEFF, OUR FRIEND, WAS SOMEBODY WHO ACTUALLY
- 00:11:18.140 --> 00:11:22.010
- HELPED ME FEEL OKAY ABOUT THE RECOVERY COMMUNITY.
- 00:11:22.030 --> 00:11:26.020
- HE WAS THE BUBBLIEST, MOST EXTROVERTED,
- 00:11:26.040 --> 00:11:28.180
- LOVING, SWEET PERSON.
- 00:11:28.200 --> 00:11:31.090
- HE WAS FULL OF LIFE.
- 00:11:31.110 --> 00:11:33.240
- JEFF COULD MAKE YOU LAUGH WITHIN 30 SECONDS OF
- 00:11:33.260 --> 00:11:35.250
- STANDING UP IN FRONT OF HIM.
- 00:11:35.270 --> 00:11:37.110
- HE LOVED TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH.
- 00:11:37.130 --> 00:11:39.070
- JEFF AND OUR FAMILY AND HIS WIFE,
- 00:11:39.090 --> 00:11:42.010
- WE ALL BECAME TRULY, WE JUST BECAME LIKE FAMILY.
- 00:11:42.030 --> 00:11:46.130
- WE WERE A FAMILY.
- 00:11:46.150 --> 00:11:48.010
- AND UM...
- 00:11:48.030 --> 00:11:52.240
- HIS LOSS WAS MORE THAN HEARTBREAKING.
- 00:11:52.260 --> 00:11:59.050
- UNCONDITIONAL...
- 00:12:00.050 --> 00:12:03.220
- LOVE...
- 00:12:03.240 --> 00:12:07.200
- - WELL, IT WAS JULY 4TH, AND MY WIFE AND I WERE AT
- 00:12:13.010 --> 00:12:16.230
- A RESTAURANT AT DINNER.
- 00:12:16.250 --> 00:12:19.240
- WE WERE WAITING FOR THE FIREWORKS TO START.
- 00:12:19.260 --> 00:12:22.270
- I GOT A PHONE CALL, AND THE PHONE CALL WAS
- 00:12:22.290 --> 00:12:25.220
- TELLING ME THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH JEFF.
- 00:12:25.240 --> 00:12:29.150
- AND IT WAS HARD TO PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER AND
- 00:12:29.170 --> 00:12:31.080
- HARD TO PUT THE DETAILS TOGETHER,
- 00:12:31.100 --> 00:12:32.220
- BUT AS THE STORY STARTED TO KIND OF PLAY OUT,
- 00:12:32.240 --> 00:12:36.180
- WE REALIZED THAT HE HAD TAKEN A TRAM INTO MEXICO
- 00:12:36.200 --> 00:12:41.020
- AND PURCHASED DRUGS DOWN THERE AND THEY FOUND HIM
- 00:12:41.040 --> 00:12:44.260
- ON THE STREET. IT WAS DEVASTATING.
- 00:12:44.280 --> 00:12:48.180
- WHEN SOMEONE I THINK IS FINALLY TO THE POINT THAT
- 00:12:48.200 --> 00:12:50.290
- THEY'RE READY TO TAKE THEIR OWN LIFE,
- 00:12:51.010 --> 00:12:52.240
- THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT IT.
- 00:12:52.260 --> 00:12:54.080
- THEY DON'T CRY FOR HELP.
- 00:12:54.100 --> 00:12:57.050
- THEY DON'T TELEGRAPH ANYTHING.
- 00:12:57.070 --> 00:12:58.260
- THEIR MIND IS MADE UP AND THEY DO IT.
- 00:12:58.280 --> 00:13:03.090
- - SUICIDE IS A PART OF ADDICTIONS,
- 00:13:03.110 --> 00:13:07.010
- AND IT'S ALWAYS GONNA BE THERE AS LONG AS YOU HAVE
- 00:13:07.030 --> 00:13:11.000
- ALCOHOLICS AND ADDICTS.
- 00:13:11.020 --> 00:13:12.270
- I MEAN IF YOU ASK ME FOR AN OPINION OF WHY IT'S
- 00:13:12.290 --> 00:13:14.220
- HITTING THIS PARTICULAR AGE GROUP OF MEN BETWEEN
- 00:13:14.240 --> 00:13:17.290
- 40 AND 65, THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MY
- 00:13:18.010 --> 00:13:21.180
- MIND IS THEIR ABSOLUTE SENSE OF DISAPPOINTMENT
- 00:13:21.200 --> 00:13:26.120
- IN THEMSELVES. IT'S VERY PAINFUL.
- 00:13:26.140 --> 00:13:30.180
- THEY GIVE UP.
- 00:13:30.200 --> 00:13:34.020
- I BUILD A WALL...
- 00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:40.110
- I WILL NOT GET HURT AGAIN...
- 00:13:40.130 --> 00:13:44.080
- - JEFF'S DEATH JUST CREATED KIND OF A TSUNAMI
- 00:13:44.100 --> 00:13:47.070
- THROUGH OUR COMMUNITY AND THROUGH THE RECOVERY
- 00:13:47.090 --> 00:13:50.100
- COMMUNITY THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SOUTH COUNTY AREA.
- 00:13:50.120 --> 00:13:53.080
- I THINK THE STATEMENT THAT I HEARD THE MOST
- 00:13:53.100 --> 00:13:56.220
- BECAUSE JEFF HAD SUCH A WIDE RANGING IMPACT WAS
- 00:13:56.240 --> 00:13:59.220
- "IF JEFF CAN WANT MAKE IT, HOW CAN I?"
- 00:13:59.240 --> 00:14:03.030
- IT WAS DEVASTATING FOR THEM TO SEE SOMEONE THAT
- 00:14:03.050 --> 00:14:06.040
- THEY ADMIRED SO MUCH COME TO THIS POINT IN HIS LIFE.
- 00:14:06.060 --> 00:14:11.100
- WHEN WE LOST JEFF, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A HUGE
- 00:14:11.120 --> 00:14:14.040
- BLOW, WE HAD ENOUGH OF A COMMUNITY THERE THAT WE
- 00:14:14.060 --> 00:14:17.070
- WERE ABLE TO PICK UP THE SLACK.
- 00:14:17.090 --> 00:14:20.200
- PEOPLE REALLY WERE GETTING HELP AND THERE
- 00:14:20.220 --> 00:14:22.290
- WAS NO WAY WE WERE GOING TO STOP THAT,
- 00:14:23.010 --> 00:14:25.020
- THAT THIS WAS OF COURSE PART OF JEFF'S LEGACY AND
- 00:14:25.040 --> 00:14:27.220
- THAT WE HAD LEARNED SO MUCH FROM HIM IN THE
- 00:14:27.240 --> 00:14:31.030
- PROCESS OF THAT, SO WE SOLDIERED ON.
- 00:14:31.050 --> 00:14:35.150
- RESCUE ME...
- 00:14:36.150 --> 00:14:39.020
- - JEFF IS ABSOLUTELY LIVING ON THROUGH THE
- 00:14:39.040 --> 00:14:41.020
- WORK THAT WE'RE DOING, AND HIS NAME COMES UP ALWAYS.
- 00:14:41.040 --> 00:14:46.070
- THERE'S SO MANY PEOPLE WHO STILL KNOW HIM AND
- 00:14:46.090 --> 00:14:48.170
- REMEMBER HIM, AND THERE'S A SENSE THAT HE IS
- 00:14:48.190 --> 00:14:51.170
- PRESENT IN OUR ROOMS AND IN OUR INTERACTIONS
- 00:14:51.190 --> 00:14:55.180
- WITH EACH OTHER.
- 00:14:55.200 --> 00:14:57.160
- RESCUE ME...
- 00:14:57.180 --> 00:15:03.280
- - LET'S FACE IT, NOBODY PREPARES YOU
- 00:15:06.180 --> 00:15:08.060
- FOR MIDDLE AGE.
- 00:15:08.080 --> 00:15:09.220
- YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND YOU'RE 50 OR 60.
- 00:15:09.240 --> 00:15:11.270
- THINGS DIDN'T WORK OUT LIKE YOU'D PLANNED
- 00:15:11.290 --> 00:15:14.070
- SO WHAT DO YOU DO?
- 00:15:14.090 --> 00:15:15.220
- YOU MEDICATE.
- 00:15:15.240 --> 00:15:17.230
- MARIJUANA, OPIOIDS, ALCOHOL.
- 00:15:17.250 --> 00:15:21.010
- FILLING A HOLE THAT IT CAN'T REALLY FILL.
- 00:15:21.030 --> 00:15:24.220
- IT'S SUICIDE IN SLOW MOTION.
- 00:15:24.240 --> 00:15:27.230
- - UNFORTUNATELY IN THE LAST FEW YEARS,
- 00:15:27.250 --> 00:15:29.110
- I'VE SEEN FRIENDS WHO CONSCIOUSLY SEPARATE
- 00:15:29.130 --> 00:15:33.200
- THEMSELF FROM THIS HIGHER POWER,
- 00:15:33.220 --> 00:15:37.020
- AND THEY SEEM TO GO INTO A DARKER ROOM.
- 00:15:37.040 --> 00:15:39.160
- AND I BELIEVE IT'S TRULY CONSCIOUS.
- 00:15:39.180 --> 00:15:42.070
- AS THEY GO INTO THIS ROOM,
- 00:15:42.090 --> 00:15:43.210
- IT GETS DARKER AND DARKER UNTIL THEY REALLY CAN'T
- 00:15:43.230 --> 00:15:46.290
- FIND THEIR WAY OUT.
- 00:15:47.010 --> 00:15:48.220
- I ALMOST THINK THAT THEY REACH A POINT WHERE THE
- 00:15:48.240 --> 00:15:51.160
- HOPE THEY HAVE IS THAT THE NEXT LIFE WOULD BE AN
- 00:15:51.180 --> 00:15:54.080
- IMPROVEMENT ON THE PRESENT AND UNFORTUNATELY
- 00:15:54.100 --> 00:15:57.070
- IT'S TAKEN WAY TOO MANY OF MY FRIENDS,
- 00:15:57.090 --> 00:15:59.170
- AND IT CAN BE MEDICALLY INDUCED BY THE USE OF
- 00:15:59.190 --> 00:16:03.260
- ALCOHOL AND DRUGS, WHICH IS A SLOW WAY OF DYING.
- 00:16:03.280 --> 00:16:08.010
- IT'S NOT AS ABRUPT AS PUTTING A GUN UNDER YOUR
- 00:16:08.030 --> 00:16:09.290
- CHIN, BUT THE END IS JUST AS DEFINITE.
- 00:16:10.010 --> 00:16:13.250
- IT WILL TAKE YOUR LIFE, AND IT WILL DESTROY
- 00:16:13.270 --> 00:16:16.150
- THOSE ABOUT YOU.
- 00:16:16.170 --> 00:16:19.200
- - LENNY WAS ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE LARGER THAN LIFE
- 00:16:25.100 --> 00:16:27.160
- CHARACTERS THAT LOVES PEOPLE.
- 00:16:27.180 --> 00:16:30.120
- AFTER OVERCOMING ALL HIS OWN ADDICTIONS HE STARTS
- 00:16:30.140 --> 00:16:33.170
- HELPING PEOPLE EVERYWHERE AND HE FINDS A GIRL,
- 00:16:33.190 --> 00:16:37.110
- THE GIRL FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM,
- 00:16:37.130 --> 00:16:38.180
- HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER AND HE'S HELPING
- 00:16:38.200 --> 00:16:39.280
- EVERYBODY BUT HE FORGETS TO HELP HIMSELF.
- 00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:44.260
- - HE HAD THIS HUGE PERSONALITY,
- 00:16:44.280 --> 00:16:47.250
- I MEAN JUST A HUGE PERSONALITY.
- 00:16:47.270 --> 00:16:51.070
- HE WAS VERY OUT LOUD.
- 00:16:51.090 --> 00:16:54.070
- HE WAS A BIG GUY, 6'-3, HAD A LOUD VOICE,
- 00:16:54.090 --> 00:16:57.250
- BUT HE HAD A HYSTERICAL FUNNY PERSONALITY,
- 00:16:57.270 --> 00:17:02.070
- BUT IT WAS NATURAL.
- 00:17:02.090 --> 00:17:05.050
- HE HAD JUST TURNED 55 A FEW DAYS BEFORE HE DIED,
- 00:17:05.070 --> 00:17:08.130
- AND HE FELT LIKE THERE WAS JUST SO MANY THINGS
- 00:17:08.150 --> 00:17:14.020
- HE COULDN'T DO, THAT HE WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH,
- 00:17:14.040 --> 00:17:18.240
- THAT HE WAS JUST KIND OF A FAILURE.
- 00:17:18.260 --> 00:17:23.150
- WHEN WE MET, HE HAD BEEN IN RECOVERY FOR
- 00:17:23.170 --> 00:17:25.110
- ABOUT FIFTEEN YEARS.
- 00:17:25.130 --> 00:17:28.030
- IN THAT TIME, HE HAD WORKED WITHIN SOME
- 00:17:28.050 --> 00:17:31.130
- TREATMENT CENTERS AND HE HAD GONE THROUGH ONE.
- 00:17:31.150 --> 00:17:35.040
- THE LAST YEAR HE WORKED BACK IN THE RECOVERY MINISTRY.
- 00:17:35.060 --> 00:17:39.260
- I TALKED TO SOME OF HIS CLIENTS AND THE IMPACT HE
- 00:17:39.280 --> 00:17:43.250
- HAD ON THEM, AND HE WAS JUST SO AFRAID HE WAS
- 00:17:43.270 --> 00:17:46.240
- GONNA MESS SOMETHING UP AND NOT DO IT
- 00:17:46.260 --> 00:17:48.230
- WELL ENOUGH OR RIGHT.
- 00:17:48.250 --> 00:17:52.100
- SORRY IF I SEEM A LITTLE DISTANT...
- 00:17:52.120 --> 00:17:57.170
- MY MIND IS FAR AWAY...
- 00:17:57.190 --> 00:18:02.150
- - BUT NOW I REALIZE THAT HE DIDN'T WANT ME AROUND
- 00:18:02.170 --> 00:18:06.080
- HIM DURING THOSE DOWN SWINGS SO HE WOULD,
- 00:18:06.100 --> 00:18:10.000
- HE WAS STILL GOING TO MEETINGS BUT HE WOULD
- 00:18:10.020 --> 00:18:11.220
- KIND OF ISOLATE.
- 00:18:11.250 --> 00:18:13.260
- SO ON MY BIRTHDAY THAT YEAR,
- 00:18:13.280 --> 00:18:15.280
- I CAME HOME AFTER AN EXHAUSTING DAY AND WALKED
- 00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:19.040
- IN MY PLACE AND HE HAD LEFT A DOZEN ROSES,
- 00:18:19.060 --> 00:18:23.070
- RED ROSES FOR ME AND A GIFT CARD FOR A MASSAGE
- 00:18:23.090 --> 00:18:26.260
- AND AN ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL BIRTHDAY CARD.
- 00:18:26.280 --> 00:18:29.270
- IT WAS JUST LIKE OH, MY GOSH.
- 00:18:29.290 --> 00:18:34.120
- I HAVE THE BEST BOYFRIEND ON THE PLANET.
- 00:18:34.140 --> 00:18:38.110
- AND I FOUND OUT LATER, WHEN THE FAMILY WAS GOING
- 00:18:38.130 --> 00:18:43.100
- THROUGH HIS HOUSE, GOING THROUGH THE THINGS, THAT
- 00:18:43.120 --> 00:18:46.060
- THEY FOUND A RECEIPT FOR THE GUN HE HAD BOUGHT,
- 00:18:46.080 --> 00:18:52.140
- AND HE HAD BOUGHT THAT THE MORNING
- 00:18:52.160 --> 00:18:53.290
- AFTER MY BIRTHDAY.
- 00:18:54.010 --> 00:18:57.260
- SO AT THAT POINT, I'M GOING, OKAY, WHAT?
- 00:18:57.280 --> 00:19:01.110
- THIS WAS YOUR GOODBYE TO ME?
- 00:19:01.130 --> 00:19:03.160
- YOU THOUGHT THIS WOULD WORK?
- 00:19:03.180 --> 00:19:05.150
- THIS WOULD BE GOOD. WE'LL BUY HER A MASSAGE.
- 00:19:05.170 --> 00:19:08.220
- SHE'LL PROBABLY NEED IT AFTER THAT.
- 00:19:08.240 --> 00:19:12.060
- AND LOOKING AT THAT CARD, READING IT AND TRYING TO
- 00:19:12.080 --> 00:19:17.240
- MAKE SENSE OF IT, AND REALLY BEING ANGRY
- 00:19:17.260 --> 00:19:21.190
- AT HIM OF SERIOUSLY?
- 00:19:21.210 --> 00:19:25.270
- YOU'D DO THIS FOR ME AND THEN YOU BUY
- 00:19:25.290 --> 00:19:29.140
- A GUN THE NEXT DAY?
- 00:19:29.160 --> 00:19:31.120
- IN ANOTHER TIME AND SPACE...
- 00:19:31.140 --> 00:19:36.190
- SOMEBODY JUST LIKE ME IS TAKING MY PLACE...
- 00:19:36.210 --> 00:19:44.060
- [MUSIC]
- 00:19:44.080 --> 00:19:51.230
- - HIS BIRTHDAY IS THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS, AND
- 00:19:51.250 --> 00:19:55.060
- WHEN I SAW HIM THAT DAY, HE REALLY LOOKED LIKE CRAP.
- 00:19:55.080 --> 00:20:00.190
- I REMEMBER CALLING OUR PASTOR DAVE WHO'S ALSO A
- 00:20:00.210 --> 00:20:05.170
- VERY DEAR FRIEND, AND HE WAS A DEAR FRIEND TO
- 00:20:05.190 --> 00:20:08.130
- LENNY, AND SAYING, I'M CONCERNED.
- 00:20:08.150 --> 00:20:13.290
- HE'S NOT IN A GOOD PLACE, AND I'M WORRIED.
- 00:20:14.010 --> 00:20:17.140
- AND THE HURT INSIDE WAS COMFORT TO ME...
- 00:20:17.160 --> 00:20:25.250
- - I THINK THE DEPRESSION WAS TOO GREAT.
- 00:20:25.270 --> 00:20:27.260
- HE TOLD ME, HE WENT DOWN TO GO BUY A GUN.
- 00:20:27.280 --> 00:20:31.260
- BUT I KNEW IN MY HEART THIS POISON WOULD KILL ME
- 00:20:31.280 --> 00:20:39.120
- IN THE END...
- 00:20:39.140 --> 00:20:41.120
- - I GOT A PHONE CALL FROM HIS ROOMMATE, AND
- 00:20:41.140 --> 00:20:45.100
- THE POLICE HAD CALLED HIM AND SAID WE NEED YOU NEED
- 00:20:45.120 --> 00:20:48.210
- TO COME IDENTIFY THE BODY, AND SO HE DID.
- 00:20:48.230 --> 00:20:56.010
- AND HE CALLED ME ON THE PHONE, AND HE WAS IN
- 00:20:56.030 --> 00:20:59.180
- TEARS, AND WE CRIED.
- 00:20:59.200 --> 00:21:02.050
- AND IT LEFT A HOLE BECAUSE HE KILLED
- 00:21:02.070 --> 00:21:10.180
- THE WRONG PERSON.
- 00:21:10.200 --> 00:21:13.200
- THAT MAN HAD SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR.
- 00:21:13.220 --> 00:21:19.100
- - YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY CALLED ME, I HAD 45
- 00:21:19.120 --> 00:21:21.200
- MINUTES TO GET GLOVES AND BLEACH.
- 00:21:21.220 --> 00:21:24.050
- I KNEW WHAT I WAS GOING TO SMELL.
- 00:21:24.070 --> 00:21:26.240
- I KNEW WHAT I WAS GOING TO SEE.
- 00:21:26.260 --> 00:21:29.070
- I'D SEEN IT TOO MANY TIMES BEFORE.
- 00:21:29.090 --> 00:21:32.060
- BUT LENNY'S CASE WAS ESPECIALLY POIGNANT IN
- 00:21:32.080 --> 00:21:36.150
- THAT IT WAS A CHAIR FACING A CLOSED GARAGE
- 00:21:36.170 --> 00:21:40.280
- DOOR WITH OVERFLOWING ASHTRAYS ON EITHER
- 00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:44.190
- SIDE AND A PISTOL ON THE FLOOR.
- 00:21:44.210 --> 00:21:51.090
- HE MUST HAVE STARED FOR DAYS AT A CLOSED GARAGE
- 00:21:51.110 --> 00:21:55.100
- DOOR UNABLE OR UNWILLING TO PICK UP THE PHONE TO
- 00:21:55.120 --> 00:22:01.280
- ALL THOSE ABOUT HIM WHO KNEW HE WAS IN TROUBLE.
- 00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:07.230
- I WISH I'D BEEN ABLE TO BREAK THAT DOOR DOWN.
- 00:22:07.250 --> 00:22:11.050
- I WAS TOO SLOW.
- 00:22:11.070 --> 00:22:14.120
- - AT HIS MEMORIAL, THERE WERE OVER 400 PEOPLE.
- 00:22:14.140 --> 00:22:20.210
- I MEAN, IT WAS MASSIVE THE AMOUNT OF LIVES
- 00:22:20.230 --> 00:22:23.160
- HE TOUCHED, THE AMOUNT OF
- 00:22:23.180 --> 00:22:25.170
- HELP AND ENCOURAGEMENT HE PROVIDED FOR PEOPLE,
- 00:22:25.190 --> 00:22:28.250
- THE HOPE THAT HE PROVIDED FOR THEM.
- 00:22:28.270 --> 00:22:34.040
- AND YET, IN HIS SUICIDE NOTE, HIS NOTE SAID, "I
- 00:22:34.060 --> 00:22:39.140
- HAVE NO HOPE." I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT
- 00:22:39.160 --> 00:22:42.260
- HAPPENS, THAT YOU CAN GIVE SO MANY PEOPLE SO
- 00:22:42.280 --> 00:22:46.080
- MUCH HOPE, BUT NOT EXPERIENCE IT
- 00:22:46.100 --> 00:22:51.040
- YOURSELF FOR YOURSELF.
- 00:22:51.060 --> 00:22:53.080
- [MUSIC]
- 00:22:53.100 --> 00:23:02.130
- - IF I WERE TALKING TO SOMEONE WHO IS IN THIS
- 00:23:02.150 --> 00:23:04.250
- POSITION, WHERE THEY HAVE NO HOPE, NO WAY TO MAKE
- 00:23:04.270 --> 00:23:08.230
- THE HURTING STOP, THE THING THAT I WOULD TELL
- 00:23:08.250 --> 00:23:11.130
- THEM FIRST AND FOREMOST IS TALK TO SOMEBODY.
- 00:23:11.150 --> 00:23:15.160
- TELL THEM WHAT'S GOING ON.
- 00:23:15.180 --> 00:23:17.230
- CONNECT WITH SOMEBODY. REESTABLISH HUMAN CONNECTION.
- 00:23:17.250 --> 00:23:21.210
- - THE ONLY WAY PEOPLE STAY WELL IS WHEN THERE'S
- 00:23:21.230 --> 00:23:23.250
- SOCIAL, SOBER SUPPORT, AND THERE'S RELATIONSHIPS
- 00:23:23.270 --> 00:23:27.260
- OR THERE'S ACCOUNTABILITY.
- 00:23:27.280 --> 00:23:29.170
- THEY NEED SPONSORS, THEY NEED MEETINGS.
- 00:23:29.190 --> 00:23:31.200
- - ALL THE SUPPORT THAT I GOT FROM MY FRIENDS, FROM
- 00:23:31.220 --> 00:23:34.050
- THE GRIEF GROUPS, FROM NINA, MY GRIEF COUNSELOR,
- 00:23:34.070 --> 00:23:38.230
- THEY WERE THE ONLY THINGS THAT GOT ME THROUGH THIS.
- 00:23:38.250 --> 00:23:41.080
- I WOULD NOT HAVE MADE IT.
- 00:23:41.100 --> 00:23:45.250
- - EVERYBODY YOU MET TODAY ARE PART
- 00:23:45.270 --> 00:23:48.100
- OF THE SAME COMMUNITY.
- 00:23:48.120 --> 00:23:50.130
- THEY CAME TOGETHER WHATEVER NEED THEY HAVE,
- 00:23:50.150 --> 00:23:52.230
- BUT THEY FOUND LOVE, AND THAT'S WHAT A COMMUNITY DOES.
- 00:23:52.250 --> 00:23:56.080
- THAT'S WHAT A HEALTHY COMMUNITY DOES.
- 00:23:56.100 --> 00:23:58.070
- AND IF YOU'RE NOT IN COMMUNITY, THEN I
- 00:23:58.090 --> 00:24:00.020
- IMPLORE YOU GO AND FIND ONE, GO AND JOIN.
- 00:24:00.040 --> 00:24:02.210
- BECOME PART OF SOMETHING, AND IF YOU THINK OF
- 00:24:02.230 --> 00:24:04.200
- SOMEBODY RIGHT NOW THAT NEEDS HELP, THEN REACH
- 00:24:04.220 --> 00:24:07.100
- OUT AND CALL THEM.
- 00:24:07.120 --> 00:24:09.060
- YOU MAY JUST SAVE SOMEBODY'S LIFE.
- 00:24:09.080 --> 00:24:12.010
- EVEN WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN, I NEVER THINK...
- 00:24:12.030 --> 00:24:17.090
- - ALTHOUGH WE LOST LENNY AND JEFF, THEY LIVE ON
- 00:24:17.110 --> 00:24:19.050
- THROUGH THE LIVES OF THE PEOPLE THEY TOUCHED.
- 00:24:19.070 --> 00:24:21.220
- A COMMUNITY THAT THEY STARTED IS SUCH A
- 00:24:21.240 --> 00:24:24.050
- FLOURISHING COMMUNITY.
- 00:24:24.070 --> 00:24:26.120
- IT GOES ON AND ON AND ON, AND SO WE CELEBRATE
- 00:24:26.140 --> 00:24:29.130
- LENNY AND JEFF WHEREVER YOU ARE.
- 00:24:29.150 --> 00:24:32.010
- WE HOLD ON...
- 00:24:32.030 --> 00:24:37.030
- - IT'S A SMALL RECOVERY CHURCH.
- 00:24:37.050 --> 00:24:39.210
- THEY'RE A COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE, THOUGH.
- 00:24:39.230 --> 00:24:42.060
- OUR PASTOR BELIEVES EVERYONE'S IN
- 00:24:42.080 --> 00:24:44.220
- RECOVERY FROM SOMETHING.
- 00:24:44.240 --> 00:24:46.170
- SO REALLY, IT ENCOMPASSES EVERYBODY.
- 00:24:46.190 --> 00:24:50.180
- - WE NEED TO CONNECT WITH SOMEONE.
- 00:24:50.200 --> 00:24:52.160
- FROM THAT POINT, A LOT OF THINGS CAN HAPPEN, BUT
- 00:24:52.180 --> 00:24:55.080
- YOUR WILLINGNESS TO BE VULNERABLE AGAIN IS YOUR
- 00:24:55.100 --> 00:24:58.240
- ENTRE' INTO SOMETHING THAT YOU NEVER SAW COMING
- 00:24:58.260 --> 00:25:01.240
- AND THE CHANCE FOR HEALING THAT YOU DIDN'T
- 00:25:01.260 --> 00:25:03.170
- THINK WAS POSSIBLE.
- 00:25:03.190 --> 00:25:06.250
- - IT'S A PLACE THAT YOU CAN BE VERY AUTHENTIC AND
- 00:25:06.270 --> 00:25:09.240
- REAL AND VULNERABLE AND BE YOURSELF.
- 00:25:09.260 --> 00:25:15.260
- - WE WERE ALL CREATED FOR COMMUNITY.
- 00:25:15.280 --> 00:25:17.260
- IT'S THE NATURAL THING IN US.
- 00:25:17.280 --> 00:25:19.200
- IF WE ISOLATE AND WE PULL AWAY, WE DIE.
- 00:25:19.220 --> 00:25:21.190
- IT'S JUST HOW IT IS.
- 00:25:21.210 --> 00:25:23.200
- BUT FOR YEARS NOW, I WAS DOING THESE PARTIES,
- 00:25:23.220 --> 00:25:26.100
- PEOPLE'S BACKYARDS, TRYING TO CREATE LITTLE
- 00:25:26.120 --> 00:25:29.280
- COMMUNITIES WITH MUSIC AND FOOD AND JUST
- 00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:33.020
- SOMETHING HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE COME TOGETHER.
- 00:25:33.040 --> 00:25:35.010
- AND SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD DO THAT, YOU KNOW?
- 00:25:35.030 --> 00:25:37.130
- MAYBE YOU SHOULD INVITE SOME FRIENDS AROUND.
- 00:25:37.150 --> 00:25:39.060
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A MUSICIAN OR AN ARTIST OR
- 00:25:39.080 --> 00:25:41.160
- EVEN A GOOD COOK.
- 00:25:41.180 --> 00:25:43.100
- JUST INVITE PEOPLE AROUND AND IT'S AMAZING
- 00:25:43.120 --> 00:25:44.270
- WHAT CAN HAPPEN.
- 00:25:44.290 --> 00:25:46.220
- [MUSIC]
- 00:25:46.240 --> 00:25:49.040
- - PROGRAMS LIKE THIS, MOVEMENTS LIKE THIS, BRING
- 00:25:49.060 --> 00:25:53.180
- AWARENESS TO THE FACT THAT WE'RE NOT ALL WHAT
- 00:25:53.200 --> 00:25:57.030
- WE SEEM. THERE'S TWO OF US.
- 00:25:57.050 --> 00:26:00.280
- THERE'S THE ONE WE WANT TO SEE OUR JOKING AROUND,
- 00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:04.080
- AND THEN THERE'S THE FELLOW THAT GOES
- 00:26:04.100 --> 00:26:05.290
- IN AND CLOSES THE DOOR.
- 00:26:06.010 --> 00:26:08.210
- THAT PERSON SOMETIMES DOESN'T FEEL HE HAS
- 00:26:08.230 --> 00:26:10.160
- ANYBODY TO CALL, ANYONE TO TALK TO.
- 00:26:10.180 --> 00:26:14.070
- PROGRAMS LIKE THIS, MOVEMENTS LIKE THIS, ALLOW
- 00:26:14.090 --> 00:26:17.160
- THAT PERSON TO KNOW THAT HE IS NEVER, EVER ALONE.
- 00:26:17.180 --> 00:26:22.220
- UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...
- 00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:32.040
- - PUT DOWN THE PISTOL, WALK WITH ME TO THE BEACH.
- 00:26:32.060 --> 00:26:37.190
- WE DON'T NEED TO TALK.
- 00:26:37.210 --> 00:26:40.060
- WE JUST NEED TO LOOK.
- 00:26:40.080 --> 00:26:42.290
- THIS ALL DIDN'T JUST HAPPEN.
- 00:26:43.010 --> 00:26:45.150
- THIS IS WORTH SEEING.
- 00:26:45.170 --> 00:26:47.240
- WALT DISNEY, HIS WHOLE MANTRA WAS "DO SOMETHING
- 00:26:47.260 --> 00:26:51.190
- SO WELL THAT PEOPLE WANT TO COME BACK AND WATCH
- 00:26:51.210 --> 00:26:55.100
- YOU DO IT AGAIN." WELL, THAT'S WHAT GOD HAS DONE.
- 00:26:55.120 --> 00:27:00.040
- HE'S DONE SOMETHING SO WELL THAT WE WANT TO COME
- 00:27:00.060 --> 00:27:03.200
- BACK AND SEE IT AGAIN.
- 00:27:03.220 --> 00:27:07.050
- UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...
- 00:27:07.070 --> 00:27:14.190
- [MUSIC]
- 00:27:14.210 --> 00:27:24.200