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March 26, 2018
27:30

Strengths Based Marriage with Jimmy Evans & Allan Kelsey

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  • - Since the beginning of time
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  • marriage has been the foundation of society
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  • and one of the secrets of success in marriage is
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  • you don't have to marry the perfect person
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  • who's just like you.
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  • - Yeah, you see
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  • God has created each of us
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  • with a unique set of strengths
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  • that when celebrated,
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  • rather than stifled,
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  • can unlock the true potential of your marriage.
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  • In strengths Based Marriage
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  • we've drawn from more than 50 years of research
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  • from the Gallup Institute
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  • combined with over 35 years of experience
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  • in marriage counseling,
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  • to develop an incredibly exciting resource
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  • that can literally revolutionize your relationship
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  • and prepare you for a lifetime of passion and intimacy
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  • and we can't wait to share it with you.
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  • - That's right.
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  • When you learn to recognize and focus on
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  • the strengths of your spouse
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  • you'll be able to celebrate what's right about them
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  • and value their God-given differences
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  • not resent them.
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  • So join us on this journey
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  • to explore how implementing a Strengths Based Marriage
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  • can bring you closer together than ever before
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  • with your spouse.
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  • - [Narrator] Dr. Donald O. Clifton
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  • was a forerunner in positive psychology.
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  • Through his research,
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  • he identified 34 universal strengths
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  • that exist within each individual.
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  • Working with Gallup,
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  • he developed the strengths finder assessment
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  • which reveals how our unique order of strengths
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  • affect the way we engage with the world around us
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  • influencing our thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
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  • Thousands of businesses, teams, and churches
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  • have harnessed this strengths based approach
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  • to interacting,
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  • resulting in stronger relationships and greater performance.
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  • So what happens when you apply these same ideas
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  • to your own personal relationships.
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  • Or even your marriage?
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  • On this journey,
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  • you will discover how to thrive in your strengths,
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  • recognize the positive traits in your partner,
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  • and develop your own strengths based marriage.
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  • (uplifting music)
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  • - Jimmy mentioned earlier that
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  • one of his number one strengths is achiever.
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  • I have achiever at number one also.
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  • And what that means is
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  • I just love to get stuff done.
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  • I am a list person, okay?
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  • I like to make lists.
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  • I kinda sometimes make lists of my lists.
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  • So you know who you are,
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  • you know you're out there.
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  • And the best part of my day is when those little boxes
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  • next to all my lists
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  • and I can just put all those check marks in there.
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  • Yeah baby!
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  • That's a good day.
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  • You can just buy me a ball cap that says
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  • "Git 'er done" right here
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  • and you've got me summed up.
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  • Like I love to get stuff done.
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  • And it has been this way
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  • since as young as I can remember.
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  • In fact,
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  • what science tells me
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  • is that God began forming me this way
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  • from the time that I was in the womb.
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  • The Bible says that we are formed in the womb
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  • but science tells me that day 45 after conception
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  • already the brain is being constructed
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  • and the lines that make up my thinking this way
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  • are already being connected.
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  • It's ridiculous.
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  • I love seeing how God manufactures us
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  • in this wonderful way.
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  • So what that means is,
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  • my strength of achiever has been with me since day one.
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  • And it feels incredibly normal to me.
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  • This is how I think.
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  • So when I run off to go get something accomplished
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  • it feels like,
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  • shouldn't everybody be doing this?
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  • Like this is how normal people function.
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  • And when people don't function that way like me,
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  • I begin to wonder like
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  • "Uh, are the completely normal?
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  • "I'm not sure, you know."
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  • I kinda judge them a little bit
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  • because they're strengths don't look like mine.
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  • We gotta quit doin' that.
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  • We gotta quit lookin' at each other
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  • and thinkin' they gotta be like me in order to be normal.
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  • No, everybody's got their own strengths.
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  • And they make them unbelievably unique.
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  • And these strengths aren't just how you think.
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  • It's really who you are.
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  • So if I have this ability,
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  • this strength of achiever,
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  • it goes with me everywhere I go.
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  • So if I go to play some golf
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  • with Jimmy,
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  • not as well as he does, mind you, but
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  • nonetheless,
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  • then my strength of achiever goes with me
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  • and it affects the way that I swing.
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  • If I'm at work,
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  • typing on the computer,
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  • my strength of achiever is right there
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  • and it influences the way I type on the computer.
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  • If I'm at home interacting with my daughters or my wife,
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  • loving on them,
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  • hanging out,
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  • spending time together.
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  • It affects the kinds of things that I like to do.
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  • Listen, when I'm telling you this
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  • your strengths affect everything about you.
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  • They're not just what you do,
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  • they're really who you are.
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  • So it affects vacations.
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  • It affects the way you like to rest.
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  • It affects the kind of books you like to read.
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  • It affects what kind of entertainment you love.
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  • It even affects what happens in the bedroom.
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  • Now we're gonna get to that in a second.
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  • But so let's start with some of the others.
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  • Okay, vacation, right?
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  • So for me,
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  • a fantastic vacation is us going to the beach,
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  • we get up early because I wanna go fishing
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  • and then we wanna go swim in the ocean
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  • then we wanna ride on the horses on the beach front
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  • before lunch.
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  • Then we're gonna catch lunch,
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  • maybe do a movie after that,
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  • come back to the beach.
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  • Are you hearing what I'm saying?
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  • Like we are gonna check all these boxes
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  • and get all this fun stuff done
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  • and tomorrow,
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  • we're gonna do it again!
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  • Because this we wanna just suck the marrow
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  • out of this vacation
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  • and enjoy every element of it.
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  • My wife,
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  • entirely different expectations for rest.
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  • Entirely different.
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  • What she wants to do,
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  • is lay down in the sand,
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  • let the shiny ball in the sky
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  • do crazy things to her skin all day,
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  • and tomorrow is do the exact same thing again.
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  • We are at odds with each other
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  • over the way we have vacation.
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  • Because what feels right to me
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  • and what feels right to her
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  • are entirely different.
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  • These things are motivated by your strengths.
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  • They affect the way you think about how you rest.
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  • By the way,
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  • rest for me is not a passive thing.
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  • It's an active thing.
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  • I actually like to do,
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  • and it's how I recover.
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  • Stephanie on the other hand likes not to do,
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  • and that's very recovering for her.
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  • So our strengths influence the way we rest.
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  • We were in Barnes and Noble the other day
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  • looking for books.
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  • And I happened to walk past the section
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  • that's got all these business books in them.
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  • And there's the strategic category,
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  • and I walked over there and picked up this book
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  • and it says,
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  • "First things First" on the front,
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  • and I'm like, "Yeah!
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  • "That makes perfect sense to me."
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  • And inside it talks about
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  • how you begin with the end in mind.
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  • Being a strategic thinker,
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  • I'm thinkin'
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  • "This guy is a genius!"
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  • So I walked this book over to Stephanie
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  • to show her this phenomenal find
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  • that I've just picked up,
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  • and she looks at it,
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  • reads the stuff I've read and goes
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  • (yawns) "Do you have something else?"
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  • Totally not interested at all in what I have to offer.
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  • On the other hand,
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  • I see she has a book in her hand.
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  • I said, "What is that?"
  • 00:06:39.200 --> 00:06:41.060
  • she said, "Well look, it's all about women and relationships
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  • and how they fight."
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  • I'm like "Huh, are you kidding me?
  • 00:06:43.260 --> 00:06:45.180
  • "That looks like torture!
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  • "I don't wanna read that!"
  • 00:06:46.200 --> 00:06:48.260
  • Why?
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  • Because her strengths are all relational
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  • and mine have to do with executing and strategic thinking.
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  • And so that brings me to this final topic.
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  • All 34 of our strengths,
  • 00:06:57.180 --> 00:06:59.080
  • all 34.
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  • They can be bundled into kind of four categories
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  • that really start to make grouped sense
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  • about these strengths that we have.
  • 00:07:07.050 --> 00:07:09.040
  • So the first one is an executing category.
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  • Now I don't mean killin' people,
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  • I mean gettin' stuff done.
  • 00:07:13.000 --> 00:07:14.190
  • So there's six or seven or eight strengths in this grouping
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  • that all motivate us to just kinda get things done.
  • 00:07:17.130 --> 00:07:21.160
  • The second category,
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  • is a strategic thinking category.
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  • And this is a group of strengths
  • 00:07:25.150 --> 00:07:27.150
  • that lend themselves to the individual,
  • 00:07:27.150 --> 00:07:29.170
  • helping them to think strategically.
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  • It's just pretty obvious.
  • 00:07:31.110 --> 00:07:33.000
  • The third one is an influencing category.
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  • And these strengths all are interested
  • 00:07:35.190 --> 00:07:38.030
  • in the kinds of ways that they can influence other people.
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  • It's sort of the overriding banner that covers
  • 00:07:41.160 --> 00:07:43.220
  • those six or seven strengths.
  • 00:07:43.220 --> 00:07:46.030
  • And then the final,
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  • on the list of 34,
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  • are your relationship building strengths.
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  • All these strengths lend to an individual
  • 00:07:50.290 --> 00:07:53.070
  • to be phenomenal in the way that they build relationships.
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  • And almost all of my wife's strengths
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  • are in that category.
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  • At least her top five or six strengths.
  • 00:08:00.110 --> 00:08:02.140
  • So she is an amazing person at building relationships.
  • 00:08:02.140 --> 00:08:05.120
  • But what I had not been prepared for
  • 00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:08.110
  • was how those four categories
  • 00:08:08.110 --> 00:08:10.190
  • and the way we're built,
  • 00:08:10.190 --> 00:08:11.250
  • influences what happens between the sheets.
  • 00:08:11.250 --> 00:08:14.290
  • Listen I'm telling you I didn't know it could be possible
  • 00:08:14.290 --> 00:08:17.080
  • but it's true.
  • 00:08:17.080 --> 00:08:18.110
  • So without gettin' too weird,
  • 00:08:18.110 --> 00:08:20.140
  • I just wanna talk about this for a second
  • 00:08:20.140 --> 00:08:22.190
  • and let's see where this goes.
  • 00:08:22.190 --> 00:08:24.060
  • So, let's take the first category executing.
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  • In this group are six or eight strengths
  • 00:08:27.150 --> 00:08:30.060
  • whose primary objective is gettin' somethin' done.
  • 00:08:30.060 --> 00:08:34.060
  • If you move that idea
  • 00:08:34.060 --> 00:08:35.110
  • into the bedroom
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  • I might be interested in gettin' some things done.
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  • I'm just gonna let you decide what that means,
  • 00:08:42.070 --> 00:08:43.260
  • but I'm very goal oriented.
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  • This is about gettin' stuff done.
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  • I've got a list.
  • 00:08:48.140 --> 00:08:49.120
  • I'm gonna check some things off.
  • 00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:50.220
  • I have an objective.
  • 00:08:50.220 --> 00:08:51.290
  • I'm gonna push for that objective.
  • 00:08:51.290 --> 00:08:54.190
  • If I became too obsessed
  • 00:08:54.190 --> 00:08:56.000
  • with a particular goal I'd set in mind.
  • 00:08:56.000 --> 00:08:57.230
  • It might become not so enjoyable for certain parties
  • 00:08:57.230 --> 00:09:00.110
  • during that window of time.
  • 00:09:00.110 --> 00:09:01.160
  • I'm just sayin'.
  • 00:09:01.160 --> 00:09:02.230
  • Executing is about gettin' things done.
  • 00:09:02.230 --> 00:09:05.070
  • And you can't check the box until what?
  • 00:09:05.070 --> 00:09:08.080
  • Until it's finished.
  • 00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:10.140
  • So,
  • 00:09:10.140 --> 00:09:11.090
  • it's just a motivation that shows up in the bedroom
  • 00:09:12.210 --> 00:09:15.130
  • that's very oriented a particular way
  • 00:09:15.130 --> 00:09:17.140
  • if the majority of your strengths
  • 00:09:17.140 --> 00:09:19.140
  • happen to fall into that executing category.
  • 00:09:19.140 --> 00:09:22.170
  • But what if the majority of your strengths
  • 00:09:22.170 --> 00:09:24.130
  • are strategic thinking categories.
  • 00:09:24.130 --> 00:09:26.210
  • Then what?
  • 00:09:26.210 --> 00:09:27.250
  • Well then you probably like variety.
  • 00:09:27.250 --> 00:09:30.210
  • You like to begin with the end in mind
  • 00:09:30.210 --> 00:09:32.240
  • and you have a very set plan on how you intend to get there.
  • 00:09:32.240 --> 00:09:36.200
  • There's no time for deviations.
  • 00:09:36.200 --> 00:09:38.060
  • We have got to stick with the plan here.
  • 00:09:38.060 --> 00:09:39.270
  • So you might also be quite goal-oriented
  • 00:09:39.270 --> 00:09:42.080
  • and have a pattern
  • 00:09:42.080 --> 00:09:43.160
  • or a method that you like to use
  • 00:09:43.160 --> 00:09:45.170
  • that gets you there.
  • 00:09:45.170 --> 00:09:46.250
  • So changes from those patterns
  • 00:09:46.250 --> 00:09:48.040
  • might be hard to adapt to
  • 00:09:48.040 --> 00:09:49.230
  • and you might find yourself struggling with that.
  • 00:09:49.230 --> 00:09:52.070
  • But your spouse might be able to help you.
  • 00:09:52.070 --> 00:09:54.120
  • I do know that if you're a strategic thinker,
  • 00:09:54.120 --> 00:09:56.290
  • you like variety, so
  • 00:09:56.290 --> 00:09:58.190
  • I'm just gonna let you decide how you feel about that.
  • 00:10:00.190 --> 00:10:03.060
  • The next category is influencing.
  • 00:10:03.060 --> 00:10:05.000
  • Listen people who love influencing others
  • 00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:07.120
  • have all of these strengths that make them feel strongest
  • 00:10:07.120 --> 00:10:10.130
  • when they're able to influence the ones around them.
  • 00:10:10.130 --> 00:10:12.220
  • They have a strong sense of confidence.
  • 00:10:12.220 --> 00:10:14.190
  • And they love to exert their influence
  • 00:10:14.190 --> 00:10:17.000
  • over the people around them.
  • 00:10:17.000 --> 00:10:18.080
  • You put that between the sheets
  • 00:10:18.080 --> 00:10:19.260
  • and you've got an individual
  • 00:10:19.260 --> 00:10:21.070
  • who probably likes the lights to be on.
  • 00:10:21.070 --> 00:10:23.180
  • Because this person likes to know what's going on.
  • 00:10:23.180 --> 00:10:25.260
  • Am I influencing this person?
  • 00:10:25.260 --> 00:10:27.260
  • Can I see that happening?
  • 00:10:27.260 --> 00:10:29.050
  • I gotta see that to let me know
  • 00:10:29.050 --> 00:10:30.230
  • that this is actually working.
  • 00:10:30.230 --> 00:10:32.120
  • So the influencing category brings a whole new dimension
  • 00:10:32.120 --> 00:10:36.000
  • into what expectations are in the bedroom
  • 00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:38.150
  • and what kinds of performances are in the bedroom.
  • 00:10:38.150 --> 00:10:41.250
  • There's probably a good need for variety there too.
  • 00:10:41.250 --> 00:10:44.270
  • And then the final category
  • 00:10:44.270 --> 00:10:46.100
  • is the relationship building category.
  • 00:10:46.100 --> 00:10:48.110
  • And this category is very interested
  • 00:10:48.110 --> 00:10:51.060
  • in the relational connection
  • 00:10:51.060 --> 00:10:52.250
  • that is present in the bedroom.
  • 00:10:52.250 --> 00:10:55.200
  • And so I asked Stephanie about this
  • 00:10:55.200 --> 00:10:57.020
  • as I was writing the chapter
  • 00:10:57.020 --> 00:10:58.090
  • and there's a lot more detail
  • 00:10:58.090 --> 00:10:59.160
  • in the last chapter in the book.
  • 00:10:59.160 --> 00:11:01.040
  • But I said "How did you start an amorous conversation
  • 00:11:01.040 --> 00:11:04.270
  • "with me thinking that it would lead to the bedroom?"
  • 00:11:04.270 --> 00:11:07.290
  • She said "Oh that's easy.
  • 00:11:07.290 --> 00:11:09.060
  • "I would just start a conversation."
  • 00:11:09.060 --> 00:11:10.250
  • and I thought to myself,
  • 00:11:10.250 --> 00:11:12.080
  • "Are you kidding me?
  • 00:11:12.080 --> 00:11:13.210
  • "How many times did you shoot one over the bow for me
  • 00:11:13.210 --> 00:11:17.050
  • "and I didn't pick up on your cue?"
  • 00:11:17.050 --> 00:11:19.000
  • She said, "Oh you have no idea.
  • 00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:20.210
  • "You have no idea how many times I did that."
  • 00:11:20.210 --> 00:11:22.180
  • And I'm thinking to myself,
  • 00:11:22.180 --> 00:11:23.230
  • "Duh! All the missed opportunities
  • 00:11:23.230 --> 00:11:26.010
  • that might have been heavenly,
  • 00:11:26.010 --> 00:11:28.220
  • if I'd a known what kind of cues I should be looking for."
  • 00:11:28.220 --> 00:11:31.240
  • Just didn't know.
  • 00:11:31.240 --> 00:11:33.000
  • My strengths didn't set me up to know that.
  • 00:11:33.000 --> 00:11:35.090
  • If I'd a known hers,
  • 00:11:35.090 --> 00:11:37.020
  • I would've known she was giving me some cues
  • 00:11:37.020 --> 00:11:39.080
  • and we could've been able to execute against those cues.
  • 00:11:39.080 --> 00:11:43.130
  • Look, I think the point I'm trying to make is,
  • 00:11:44.250 --> 00:11:47.040
  • these strengths are more than just the way you think.
  • 00:11:47.040 --> 00:11:49.230
  • They genuinely affect just about every element of your life.
  • 00:11:49.230 --> 00:11:53.280
  • And if you're not aware that that's the case,
  • 00:11:55.030 --> 00:11:56.080
  • you will live blind,
  • 00:11:56.080 --> 00:11:58.020
  • not just to the influence of them,
  • 00:11:58.020 --> 00:12:00.120
  • but to the truly majestic power that they can contribute
  • 00:12:00.120 --> 00:12:03.240
  • in your life and in the lives around you.
  • 00:12:03.240 --> 00:12:05.290
  • And oh not to mention,
  • 00:12:05.290 --> 00:12:07.080
  • the joy that you feel.
  • 00:12:07.080 --> 00:12:08.250
  • You know that endorphin rush that we talked about earlier,
  • 00:12:08.250 --> 00:12:10.250
  • that makes you feel so fantastic when it's playing out.
  • 00:12:10.250 --> 00:12:13.220
  • All of that is available.
  • 00:12:13.220 --> 00:12:15.180
  • It's all available in your life,
  • 00:12:15.180 --> 00:12:17.080
  • in your marriage,
  • 00:12:17.080 --> 00:12:18.130
  • and the only way you're gonna get there
  • 00:12:18.130 --> 00:12:20.050
  • is if you find some mechanism to pull these strengths
  • 00:12:20.050 --> 00:12:23.160
  • into your daily language and your daily activities.
  • 00:12:23.160 --> 00:12:26.160
  • And honor each other as a married couple in that way.
  • 00:12:26.160 --> 00:12:30.210
  • - [Narrator] TBN wants you to discover
  • 00:12:31.240 --> 00:12:32.220
  • the truths and principles found
  • 00:12:32.220 --> 00:12:34.010
  • in Strengths Based Marriage.
  • 00:12:34.010 --> 00:12:35.200
  • And you will begin to see
  • 00:12:35.200 --> 00:12:36.220
  • a relationship with your spouse
  • 00:12:36.220 --> 00:12:38.010
  • in a whole new way.
  • 00:12:38.010 --> 00:12:39.200
  • Call or go online to request this powerful collection today
  • 00:12:39.200 --> 00:12:42.240
  • with your gift of $120 or more.
  • 00:12:42.240 --> 00:12:45.070
  • And as our thank you for supporting TBN,
  • 00:12:45.070 --> 00:12:47.230
  • we will rush these incredible resources to you today.
  • 00:12:47.230 --> 00:12:51.040
  • Call 800-626-7454
  • 00:12:51.040 --> 00:12:55.090
  • or visit TBN.org/StrongMarriage.
  • 00:12:56.050 --> 00:12:58.290
  • - If you're just tuning in
  • 00:13:03.060 --> 00:13:04.130
  • welcome to Strengths Based Marriage.
  • 00:13:04.130 --> 00:13:06.130
  • We have a guest couple with us today.
  • 00:13:06.130 --> 00:13:08.160
  • Let's have a look at how their strengths
  • 00:13:08.160 --> 00:13:10.120
  • influence their marriage.
  • 00:13:10.120 --> 00:13:12.260
  • - [Narrator] Today's couple
  • 00:13:12.260 --> 00:13:14.070
  • is Libni and Abrahanny Rodriguez from Southlake, Texas.
  • 00:13:14.070 --> 00:13:17.130
  • Libni's top five strengths are
  • 00:13:17.130 --> 00:13:18.250
  • developer, restorative, analytical, input, and empathy.
  • 00:13:18.250 --> 00:13:22.240
  • Abrahanny's top five strengths
  • 00:13:23.200 --> 00:13:25.050
  • are responsibility, belief, connectedness, communication,
  • 00:13:25.050 --> 00:13:28.160
  • and developer.
  • 00:13:28.160 --> 00:13:29.210
  • - So great to have you back,
  • 00:13:30.250 --> 00:13:31.290
  • I've been eagerly anticipating
  • 00:13:31.290 --> 00:13:33.110
  • spending some time with this couple
  • 00:13:33.110 --> 00:13:34.280
  • and so I wanna introduce them to you.
  • 00:13:34.280 --> 00:13:36.160
  • This is Libni and Anny.
  • 00:13:36.160 --> 00:13:38.210
  • Thank you so much for taking some time
  • 00:13:38.210 --> 00:13:40.040
  • to come and spend it with us.
  • 00:13:40.040 --> 00:13:41.210
  • Can you start just by telling us a little bit about
  • 00:13:41.210 --> 00:13:44.060
  • who you are, your family, what you do?
  • 00:13:44.060 --> 00:13:46.050
  • Just start with that.
  • 00:13:46.050 --> 00:13:47.130
  • - Sure, definitely.
  • 00:13:47.130 --> 00:13:48.200
  • Actually I will let my wife speak to that
  • 00:13:48.200 --> 00:13:49.250
  • if you don't mind, yeah? - Good call Libni
  • 00:13:49.250 --> 00:13:51.110
  • - Come on Anny give it to us.
  • 00:13:51.110 --> 00:13:52.160
  • - Okay, So I'm Anny
  • 00:13:52.160 --> 00:13:53.140
  • and this is my husband Libni.
  • 00:13:53.140 --> 00:13:55.020
  • We have two amazing boys
  • 00:13:55.020 --> 00:13:56.120
  • ages ten and seven.
  • 00:13:56.120 --> 00:13:58.090
  • So it's a fun interesting age.
  • 00:13:58.090 --> 00:14:00.260
  • - And what do you do for a living?
  • 00:14:00.260 --> 00:14:02.020
  • I'm a photographer so I stay quite busy.
  • 00:14:02.020 --> 00:14:04.020
  • - Yes you do.
  • 00:14:04.020 --> 00:14:05.000
  • Weren't you just traveling?
  • 00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:06.020
  • - I was.
  • 00:14:06.020 --> 00:14:07.220
  • Which is very interesting.
  • 00:14:07.220 --> 00:14:09.280
  • - Okay, Good Yep
  • 00:14:09.280 --> 00:14:11.050
  • - Libni how about you?
  • 00:14:11.050 --> 00:14:12.130
  • - So I'm a project manager actually,
  • 00:14:12.130 --> 00:14:14.110
  • for Gateway church.
  • 00:14:14.110 --> 00:14:15.270
  • And I support the Business and Accounting Department.
  • 00:14:15.270 --> 00:14:18.020
  • - Awesome, and so you have two younger boys?
  • 00:14:18.020 --> 00:14:19.250
  • How long have you been married?
  • 00:14:19.250 --> 00:14:21.020
  • - We've been married for 11 years now.
  • 00:14:21.020 --> 00:14:23.220
  • - 11 years.
  • 00:14:23.220 --> 00:14:24.170
  • - And the big question.
  • 00:14:24.170 --> 00:14:25.270
  • How long have you known your strengths
  • 00:14:25.270 --> 00:14:27.240
  • or each other's strengths?
  • 00:14:27.240 --> 00:14:29.200
  • - That's an interesting fact
  • 00:14:29.200 --> 00:14:31.050
  • that's actually interesting question.
  • 00:14:31.050 --> 00:14:33.100
  • We feel that,
  • 00:14:33.100 --> 00:14:35.050
  • we kinda know certain aspects of it
  • 00:14:35.050 --> 00:14:37.260
  • for a while now,
  • 00:14:37.260 --> 00:14:39.100
  • so we try to understand one another.
  • 00:14:39.100 --> 00:14:41.070
  • But it's good to us,
  • 00:14:41.070 --> 00:14:42.270
  • when the book came out and some of that
  • 00:14:42.270 --> 00:14:46.200
  • strength actually came out,
  • 00:14:46.200 --> 00:14:48.020
  • we were able to go back and review them
  • 00:14:48.020 --> 00:14:50.000
  • and really confirm what we believe
  • 00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:53.110
  • were our strength in essence.
  • 00:14:53.110 --> 00:14:55.120
  • - Oh, so you saw the strengths in each other
  • 00:14:55.120 --> 00:14:57.100
  • you just didn't have a language
  • 00:14:57.100 --> 00:14:58.250
  • to be able to communicate it effectively to each other.
  • 00:14:58.250 --> 00:15:01.160
  • - Correct.
  • 00:15:01.160 --> 00:15:02.160
  • - Did that make a difference
  • 00:15:02.160 --> 00:15:03.230
  • in the quality of your communication then?
  • 00:15:03.230 --> 00:15:06.070
  • - I felt like it felt like
  • 00:15:06.070 --> 00:15:08.070
  • a light bulb.
  • 00:15:08.070 --> 00:15:09.070
  • The "Ah ha!" of
  • 00:15:09.070 --> 00:15:10.140
  • "Oh this is why."
  • 00:15:10.140 --> 00:15:12.030
  • It gave us a little bit more of insight.
  • 00:15:12.030 --> 00:15:14.080
  • - Yeah more insight,
  • 00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:15.050
  • more understanding
  • 00:15:15.050 --> 00:15:16.150
  • about how each other works. - That's right.
  • 00:15:16.150 --> 00:15:17.120
  • - Yeah
  • 00:15:17.120 --> 00:15:18.260
  • So Anny you've got this interesting mix of strengths
  • 00:15:18.260 --> 00:15:22.050
  • and so that our viewing audience
  • 00:15:22.050 --> 00:15:23.210
  • knows who you are from a strengths perspective,
  • 00:15:23.210 --> 00:15:25.160
  • I just wanna talk about your strengths for a second.
  • 00:15:25.160 --> 00:15:27.240
  • So - Okay.
  • 00:15:27.240 --> 00:15:28.280
  • - You have responsibility.
  • 00:15:28.280 --> 00:15:29.230
  • So you are so reliable.
  • 00:15:29.230 --> 00:15:31.090
  • Utterly responsible for everything that you say yes to.
  • 00:15:31.090 --> 00:15:33.290
  • Followed by belief which means
  • 00:15:33.290 --> 00:15:36.120
  • that you have these core values
  • 00:15:36.120 --> 00:15:37.220
  • that are very moral and ethically based
  • 00:15:37.220 --> 00:15:40.040
  • and they guide all of your decisions.
  • 00:15:40.040 --> 00:15:42.010
  • Connectedness which means
  • 00:15:42.010 --> 00:15:44.020
  • that you can weave a story out of all these random facts
  • 00:15:44.020 --> 00:15:47.000
  • and everything kind of links together
  • 00:15:47.000 --> 00:15:48.280
  • and it all makes sense for you.
  • 00:15:48.280 --> 00:15:50.080
  • You have communication which means
  • 00:15:50.080 --> 00:15:52.130
  • you are very good at conveying ideas.
  • 00:15:52.130 --> 00:15:56.040
  • Which I think is why
  • 00:15:56.040 --> 00:15:57.120
  • it makes you a phenomenal photographer
  • 00:15:57.120 --> 00:15:59.030
  • because a photograph is telling a story
  • 00:15:59.030 --> 00:16:02.180
  • and you frame it in such a way as to tell that idea.
  • 00:16:02.180 --> 00:16:05.070
  • So it's your communication being used there.
  • 00:16:05.070 --> 00:16:07.230
  • And then the final one is developer.
  • 00:16:07.230 --> 00:16:09.270
  • Just the idea that you love to incrementally
  • 00:16:09.270 --> 00:16:12.150
  • bring other people along
  • 00:16:12.150 --> 00:16:13.240
  • and make them better than they were,
  • 00:16:13.240 --> 00:16:15.040
  • you know, yesterday.
  • 00:16:15.040 --> 00:16:16.230
  • - That's great.
  • 00:16:16.230 --> 00:16:18.050
  • - Libni, so is there anything about Anny's discovery
  • 00:16:18.050 --> 00:16:20.050
  • of her strengths that stands out to you?
  • 00:16:20.050 --> 00:16:22.070
  • Something that was revelatory for you
  • 00:16:22.070 --> 00:16:23.280
  • when you saw it.
  • 00:16:23.280 --> 00:16:24.290
  • - Yes, definitely.
  • 00:16:24.290 --> 00:16:26.200
  • And I think one of the main point was
  • 00:16:26.200 --> 00:16:28.290
  • her way of communicating and
  • 00:16:28.290 --> 00:16:31.110
  • being over communicative.
  • 00:16:31.110 --> 00:16:33.030
  • And not necessarily in a
  • 00:16:33.030 --> 00:16:35.030
  • female way
  • 00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:38.070
  • where they talk a lot,
  • 00:16:38.290 --> 00:16:39.270
  • but more of really kind of
  • 00:16:39.270 --> 00:16:41.040
  • wanna portray this is what I wanna do.
  • 00:16:41.040 --> 00:16:42.240
  • This is what I envision myself in X more years.
  • 00:16:42.240 --> 00:16:46.290
  • These are some of my goals.
  • 00:16:47.250 --> 00:16:49.000
  • And really being comprehensive about it
  • 00:16:49.000 --> 00:16:50.210
  • and specific.
  • 00:16:50.210 --> 00:16:51.280
  • Saying "This is where we wanna be
  • 00:16:51.280 --> 00:16:53.100
  • "at X stage of our lives."
  • 00:16:53.100 --> 00:16:55.200
  • So it really kind of outlined that communication aspect.
  • 00:16:55.200 --> 00:16:59.100
  • - So it kind of took you by surprise it sounds like.
  • 00:16:59.100 --> 00:17:01.290
  • That she had so much to say
  • 00:17:01.290 --> 00:17:04.070
  • and that it was so articulate.
  • 00:17:04.070 --> 00:17:05.150
  • - Yes, correct. yeah
  • 00:17:05.150 --> 00:17:06.270
  • - Huh, good.
  • 00:17:06.270 --> 00:17:07.250
  • Alright well let's jump to you.
  • 00:17:07.250 --> 00:17:09.020
  • We'll talk about your strengths for a second.
  • 00:17:09.020 --> 00:17:10.190
  • Libni your strengths start off with developer.
  • 00:17:10.190 --> 00:17:14.130
  • Just also,
  • 00:17:14.130 --> 00:17:15.120
  • like your lovely bride,
  • 00:17:15.120 --> 00:17:16.250
  • loves to bring people along incrementally.
  • 00:17:16.250 --> 00:17:19.120
  • You have restorative which means
  • 00:17:19.120 --> 00:17:21.250
  • that you see what might be missing
  • 00:17:21.250 --> 00:17:23.160
  • in a situation if it's absent.
  • 00:17:23.160 --> 00:17:25.240
  • And you have a desire to bring it back
  • 00:17:25.240 --> 00:17:27.220
  • to its original glory or its original form.
  • 00:17:27.220 --> 00:17:30.040
  • You have analytical which means
  • 00:17:30.040 --> 00:17:32.090
  • you just need a little bit of time
  • 00:17:32.090 --> 00:17:33.210
  • just to think some things through
  • 00:17:33.210 --> 00:17:35.270
  • and to process all of the pieces
  • 00:17:35.270 --> 00:17:38.120
  • that are a part of the conversation.
  • 00:17:38.120 --> 00:17:41.010
  • You have input which means you love to learn.
  • 00:17:41.010 --> 00:17:43.020
  • And you have an interest in gathering new data
  • 00:17:43.020 --> 00:17:46.070
  • and new facts.
  • 00:17:46.070 --> 00:17:47.200
  • And then lastly you have empathy
  • 00:17:47.200 --> 00:17:49.050
  • which really just enables you to emotionally feel
  • 00:17:49.050 --> 00:17:51.110
  • how other people are feeling.
  • 00:17:51.110 --> 00:17:53.270
  • And so is there anything about Libni then,
  • 00:17:53.270 --> 00:17:56.120
  • and his strengths,
  • 00:17:56.120 --> 00:17:57.190
  • that really stood out to you Anny,
  • 00:17:57.190 --> 00:17:59.030
  • or that you were really attracted to when you first met?
  • 00:17:59.030 --> 00:18:01.180
  • - I think his ability to love on people
  • 00:18:01.180 --> 00:18:04.170
  • and serve people so well.
  • 00:18:04.170 --> 00:18:06.140
  • And he's just seeing the best in them
  • 00:18:06.140 --> 00:18:09.050
  • and bringing them out into the light.
  • 00:18:09.050 --> 00:18:11.210
  • I love seeing that and I felt like
  • 00:18:11.210 --> 00:18:13.110
  • I was connected to that,
  • 00:18:13.110 --> 00:18:14.210
  • 'cause I love communicating with people
  • 00:18:14.210 --> 00:18:16.040
  • and just building people up.
  • 00:18:16.040 --> 00:18:17.260
  • And so to see that it was like
  • 00:18:17.260 --> 00:18:19.220
  • "Oh this is someone I'm interested in
  • 00:18:19.220 --> 00:18:22.200
  • and finding out a little bit more about."
  • 00:18:22.200 --> 00:18:24.170
  • - Alright so when I think about
  • 00:18:24.170 --> 00:18:26.080
  • how your strengths group together,
  • 00:18:26.080 --> 00:18:27.280
  • you know,
  • 00:18:27.280 --> 00:18:29.030
  • you both have an interesting mix where
  • 00:18:29.030 --> 00:18:30.220
  • you've got 40% of your strengths
  • 00:18:30.220 --> 00:18:33.210
  • are relationship-building strengths.
  • 00:18:33.210 --> 00:18:36.060
  • And you both have that.
  • 00:18:36.060 --> 00:18:37.130
  • But then it gets different because
  • 00:18:37.130 --> 00:18:39.090
  • Anny yours are then have an additional 40%
  • 00:18:39.090 --> 00:18:42.030
  • that are executing.
  • 00:18:42.030 --> 00:18:43.120
  • Like you like to kinda get stuff done.
  • 00:18:43.120 --> 00:18:45.000
  • Whereas your 40% Libni,
  • 00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:47.010
  • is more of a strategic thinking kind of thing.
  • 00:18:47.010 --> 00:18:49.070
  • So you have some elements that tie you together
  • 00:18:49.070 --> 00:18:52.090
  • and then you have some elements that bring
  • 00:18:52.090 --> 00:18:54.030
  • distinction or
  • 00:18:54.030 --> 00:18:55.170
  • kind of color
  • 00:18:55.170 --> 00:18:56.280
  • to your relationship.
  • 00:18:56.280 --> 00:18:58.120
  • Has that similarity or difference
  • 00:18:58.120 --> 00:19:01.000
  • ever created friction for you at all?
  • 00:19:01.000 --> 00:19:04.140
  • - It has!
  • 00:19:04.140 --> 00:19:05.090
  • And so I feel like when I wanna execute and get things done,
  • 00:19:06.280 --> 00:19:10.220
  • he wants to pause and he wants to think about the what-ifs
  • 00:19:10.220 --> 00:19:14.090
  • and he's going around it.
  • 00:19:14.090 --> 00:19:15.190
  • And I'm about to execute.
  • 00:19:15.190 --> 00:19:16.250
  • I'm about to make this decision.
  • 00:19:16.250 --> 00:19:18.190
  • And I'm waiting on him and so that's always,
  • 00:19:18.190 --> 00:19:21.150
  • there's always an interesting time
  • 00:19:21.150 --> 00:19:23.160
  • because I have to get going.
  • 00:19:23.160 --> 00:19:25.010
  • I wanna move on.
  • 00:19:25.010 --> 00:19:26.070
  • And he's like "We have to take our time.
  • 00:19:26.070 --> 00:19:28.150
  • "I still need to do my research on that."
  • 00:19:28.150 --> 00:19:30.200
  • and I'm like, you know.
  • 00:19:30.200 --> 00:19:32.040
  • And so that's really interesting I think.
  • 00:19:32.040 --> 00:19:34.130
  • I'm very stretched in that way.
  • 00:19:34.130 --> 00:19:36.020
  • - Well these strengths are so influential on our lives.
  • 00:19:36.020 --> 00:19:38.100
  • They cause us to be interested in different kinds of books
  • 00:19:38.100 --> 00:19:42.010
  • and different kinds of entertainment.
  • 00:19:42.010 --> 00:19:43.190
  • Different kinds of friends.
  • 00:19:43.190 --> 00:19:45.210
  • But this is episode seven
  • 00:19:45.210 --> 00:19:47.290
  • and this week we're talking about
  • 00:19:47.290 --> 00:19:50.290
  • how your strengths really affect
  • 00:19:50.290 --> 00:19:52.270
  • what happens in the bedroom also.
  • 00:19:52.270 --> 00:19:54.260
  • And so I'm fascinated to see
  • 00:19:54.260 --> 00:19:56.260
  • who starts the communication
  • 00:19:56.260 --> 00:19:59.110
  • about what happens in the bedroom
  • 00:19:59.110 --> 00:20:01.050
  • and how you do that?
  • 00:20:01.050 --> 00:20:02.250
  • - Okay.
  • 00:20:04.150 --> 00:20:05.100
  • - Who wants to answer?
  • 00:20:05.100 --> 00:20:06.090
  • - I'll let my wife go first.
  • 00:20:06.090 --> 00:20:07.240
  • (laughing)
  • 00:20:07.240 --> 00:20:09.040
  • Let the ladies go first.
  • 00:20:09.040 --> 00:20:10.180
  • - Come on Anny what are you thinking about?
  • 00:20:10.180 --> 00:20:11.270
  • - Oh that's so funny.
  • 00:20:11.270 --> 00:20:13.130
  • Okay so I feel like I'm the first to start communicating
  • 00:20:13.130 --> 00:20:16.050
  • and I start talking about our day
  • 00:20:16.050 --> 00:20:17.200
  • of what I've done-- - So that's how you do it.
  • 00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:18.280
  • You start starting talking about your day?
  • 00:20:18.280 --> 00:20:20.280
  • - Yeah, well I talk a lot
  • 00:20:20.280 --> 00:20:22.100
  • and so I feel like I start about my day
  • 00:20:22.100 --> 00:20:24.090
  • because I want him to lean in and tell me about his.
  • 00:20:24.090 --> 00:20:26.220
  • And early on,
  • 00:20:26.220 --> 00:20:27.210
  • we have 11 years married,
  • 00:20:27.210 --> 00:20:29.060
  • so we've learned what not to do I think early on,
  • 00:20:29.060 --> 00:20:31.260
  • based on what our sort of aggravation
  • 00:20:31.260 --> 00:20:34.090
  • getting things started
  • 00:20:34.090 --> 00:20:36.000
  • and so we've communicated.
  • 00:20:36.000 --> 00:20:37.180
  • And you can,
  • 00:20:37.180 --> 00:20:38.180
  • you were resourceful
  • 00:20:38.180 --> 00:20:41.060
  • in saying
  • 00:20:41.060 --> 00:20:42.020
  • how 'bout we pick a word
  • 00:20:42.020 --> 00:20:43.090
  • that when you wanna move forward with this then
  • 00:20:43.090 --> 00:20:46.210
  • - Ah ha
  • 00:20:46.210 --> 00:20:47.280
  • - and so I want him to explain that part.
  • 00:20:47.280 --> 00:20:49.170
  • - So when there's a communication that you are thinking
  • 00:20:49.170 --> 00:20:51.030
  • is gonna become more amorous
  • 00:20:51.030 --> 00:20:52.240
  • and you're hoping that that's the case,
  • 00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:54.100
  • this word is the word that confirms
  • 00:20:54.100 --> 00:20:56.150
  • that that's the intention
  • 00:20:56.150 --> 00:20:57.260
  • that's in place? - That that's the intention.
  • 00:20:57.260 --> 00:20:59.120
  • - This is fascinating!
  • 00:20:59.120 --> 00:21:00.270
  • Okay so you've gotta - So you need to understand.
  • 00:21:00.270 --> 00:21:02.130
  • We have two kids.
  • 00:21:02.130 --> 00:21:03.200
  • We have a seven and a ten year old.
  • 00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:05.000
  • And they're very,
  • 00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:05.290
  • they pick up on everything.
  • 00:21:05.290 --> 00:21:07.070
  • And we're always having to kind of find a way
  • 00:21:07.070 --> 00:21:09.170
  • how to say "Hey, we're gonna do something tonight."
  • 00:21:09.170 --> 00:21:13.030
  • so one of those words
  • 00:21:13.030 --> 00:21:14.190
  • or one of those key points we found is
  • 00:21:14.190 --> 00:21:16.040
  • We're gonna do exercise, right?
  • 00:21:16.040 --> 00:21:18.160
  • So I think they're very involved in sports
  • 00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:21.010
  • and they're very active
  • 00:21:21.010 --> 00:21:22.070
  • and so I think that kind of bring the whole
  • 00:21:22.070 --> 00:21:23.250
  • picture together
  • 00:21:23.250 --> 00:21:25.060
  • and there's no miscues or no
  • 00:21:25.060 --> 00:21:27.160
  • wanna say it's safe on the house,
  • 00:21:29.040 --> 00:21:31.060
  • just to say "Hey we're gonna have something
  • 00:21:31.060 --> 00:21:32.220
  • "we're gonna exercise tonight."
  • 00:21:32.220 --> 00:21:33.280
  • so that's kind of one of the key phrases
  • 00:21:33.280 --> 00:21:35.150
  • that we've come to use and I kind of,
  • 00:21:35.150 --> 00:21:38.120
  • me as an analytical,
  • 00:21:38.120 --> 00:21:39.190
  • helps me really to catch on
  • 00:21:39.190 --> 00:21:41.220
  • when I'm not getting her cues as a communicator.
  • 00:21:41.220 --> 00:21:44.060
  • - Ah, so you have an ability to move a little faster
  • 00:21:44.060 --> 00:21:46.270
  • and he needs a little help sometimes
  • 00:21:46.270 --> 00:21:48.130
  • catching up on what's happening?
  • 00:21:48.130 --> 00:21:49.270
  • - Absolutely.
  • 00:21:49.270 --> 00:21:51.080
  • - Okay, so you've developed some relationship
  • 00:21:51.080 --> 00:21:53.040
  • and communication that makes that a possibility.
  • 00:21:53.040 --> 00:21:55.060
  • - That's right.
  • 00:21:55.060 --> 00:21:56.010
  • - That's wonderful.
  • 00:21:56.010 --> 00:21:57.050
  • So from a strengths perspective
  • 00:21:57.050 --> 00:21:58.120
  • I'm seeing how your interest in relationship
  • 00:21:58.120 --> 00:22:01.160
  • is where all of this begins.
  • 00:22:01.160 --> 00:22:04.030
  • Communication around relationship is where it begins.
  • 00:22:04.030 --> 00:22:06.090
  • Obviously communication for you
  • 00:22:06.090 --> 00:22:07.240
  • because you have communication
  • 00:22:07.240 --> 00:22:09.140
  • as one of your top strengths.
  • 00:22:09.140 --> 00:22:10.200
  • So you use your strength
  • 00:22:10.200 --> 00:22:12.180
  • to send a flag that says
  • 00:22:12.180 --> 00:22:14.120
  • "Hey I'm open for business today."
  • 00:22:14.120 --> 00:22:15.260
  • - Yeah, absolutely.
  • 00:22:15.260 --> 00:22:17.140
  • - That's fascinating
  • 00:22:17.140 --> 00:22:18.220
  • So,
  • 00:22:19.260 --> 00:22:20.290
  • one of you,
  • 00:22:21.170 --> 00:22:22.240
  • because of the mix of strengths that you have,
  • 00:22:22.240 --> 00:22:24.010
  • is more interested in variety than the other.
  • 00:22:24.010 --> 00:22:26.010
  • And I'm wondering if that has an effect
  • 00:22:26.010 --> 00:22:28.050
  • in your bedroom activities
  • 00:22:28.050 --> 00:22:30.170
  • and why that is.
  • 00:22:30.170 --> 00:22:33.070
  • - Um, I don't know why that is,
  • 00:22:34.040 --> 00:22:36.090
  • but I think--
  • 00:22:36.090 --> 00:22:37.070
  • (everyone laughing)
  • 00:22:37.070 --> 00:22:38.190
  • - I'm saying this because of your strengths
  • 00:22:38.190 --> 00:22:39.210
  • is really what I'm saying.
  • 00:22:39.210 --> 00:22:41.010
  • - But it's really interesting
  • 00:22:41.010 --> 00:22:42.160
  • I feel like
  • 00:22:42.160 --> 00:22:44.070
  • I feel like we've grown to try different things
  • 00:22:44.070 --> 00:22:47.040
  • but in a safe environment.
  • 00:22:47.040 --> 00:22:49.270
  • - Well you know kind of us in the early stages,
  • 00:22:49.270 --> 00:22:52.260
  • we come from a pastoral family or background,
  • 00:22:52.260 --> 00:22:56.210
  • and one of the things is always
  • 00:22:56.210 --> 00:22:58.100
  • we're wanting to safeguard our relationship,
  • 00:22:58.100 --> 00:23:01.090
  • our entity as a family.
  • 00:23:01.090 --> 00:23:03.230
  • And in the sexual aspect.
  • 00:23:03.230 --> 00:23:05.080
  • So we try to kind of keep it safe.
  • 00:23:05.080 --> 00:23:08.220
  • I wanna say updated,
  • 00:23:09.280 --> 00:23:11.140
  • young,
  • 00:23:11.140 --> 00:23:12.100
  • active.
  • 00:23:12.100 --> 00:23:13.160
  • And we try to keep it open and exciting.
  • 00:23:13.160 --> 00:23:16.170
  • But you know in essence kind of also
  • 00:23:17.280 --> 00:23:21.200
  • more on maybe her kind of leading on to say
  • 00:23:21.200 --> 00:23:25.020
  • well this is what we might do
  • 00:23:25.020 --> 00:23:27.000
  • or we might want to explore.
  • 00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:29.140
  • - Yeah
  • 00:23:29.140 --> 00:23:30.090
  • - So in that sense
  • 00:23:30.090 --> 00:23:31.170
  • and I'm not sure if I'm putting it out there but
  • 00:23:31.170 --> 00:23:32.240
  • in essence kind of we try to safeguard
  • 00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:35.290
  • just because we wanna keep
  • 00:23:35.290 --> 00:23:37.080
  • the entity safe.
  • 00:23:37.080 --> 00:23:39.150
  • And not lead to allow other options
  • 00:23:39.150 --> 00:23:41.210
  • to get into our marriage.
  • 00:23:41.210 --> 00:23:43.060
  • - Yeah, well I think the surprising thing for this
  • 00:23:43.060 --> 00:23:45.190
  • is knowing that
  • 00:23:45.190 --> 00:23:46.270
  • that your strengths could have any kind of influence
  • 00:23:48.200 --> 00:23:51.080
  • in this particular element of your lives.
  • 00:23:51.080 --> 00:23:53.050
  • And it really does.
  • 00:23:53.050 --> 00:23:54.120
  • And so as we're closing today's conversation,
  • 00:23:54.120 --> 00:23:57.080
  • I'd like to leave you with these thoughts.
  • 00:23:57.080 --> 00:23:59.060
  • In regard to this kind of amorous activity, right?
  • 00:23:59.060 --> 00:24:02.290
  • Just some ways to bring your strengths into the bedroom.
  • 00:24:02.290 --> 00:24:06.170
  • I think if you guys
  • 00:24:06.170 --> 00:24:07.240
  • took separate sheets of paper.
  • 00:24:07.240 --> 00:24:09.250
  • Wrote each of your strengths
  • 00:24:09.250 --> 00:24:11.190
  • separately on a piece of paper
  • 00:24:11.190 --> 00:24:13.260
  • and then just wrote some of the
  • 00:24:13.260 --> 00:24:16.200
  • kind of between the sheets activity
  • 00:24:16.200 --> 00:24:18.270
  • that would speak to that strength for you.
  • 00:24:18.270 --> 00:24:21.090
  • It would bring more interest and color into the bedroom
  • 00:24:21.090 --> 00:24:25.130
  • and the net effect of it all is
  • 00:24:25.130 --> 00:24:28.140
  • it's clearer communication.
  • 00:24:28.140 --> 00:24:30.110
  • Right?
  • 00:24:30.110 --> 00:24:31.160
  • You both know what's going on and
  • 00:24:31.160 --> 00:24:33.020
  • there's a cleaner expectation about where we're going
  • 00:24:33.020 --> 00:24:35.150
  • and what's happening.
  • 00:24:35.150 --> 00:24:36.250
  • But it's also,
  • 00:24:36.250 --> 00:24:37.290
  • and very powerfully,
  • 00:24:37.290 --> 00:24:39.020
  • a way to say,
  • 00:24:39.020 --> 00:24:40.090
  • I see you.
  • 00:24:40.090 --> 00:24:41.140
  • I see what you need and I love you
  • 00:24:41.140 --> 00:24:43.260
  • and I want to serve you in every way that I can.
  • 00:24:43.260 --> 00:24:46.020
  • And so then there's no unmet expectations.
  • 00:24:46.020 --> 00:24:49.130
  • You know? - That's right.
  • 00:24:49.130 --> 00:24:50.210
  • - So I'll leave you with that one.
  • 00:24:50.210 --> 00:24:51.290
  • Thank you so much for being here.
  • 00:24:51.290 --> 00:24:53.120
  • - Thank you.
  • 00:24:53.120 --> 00:24:54.180
  • - Well thank you for having us here.
  • 00:24:54.180 --> 00:24:56.000
  • - It was really a joy spending time with you today.
  • 00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:57.190
  • - It's our pleasure.
  • 00:24:57.190 --> 00:24:58.140
  • - Thank you.
  • 00:24:58.140 --> 00:24:59.140
  • - I love to see stories like that.
  • 00:25:00.210 --> 00:25:02.040
  • That's why we do what we do
  • 00:25:02.040 --> 00:25:03.130
  • and an example of the impact
  • 00:25:03.130 --> 00:25:05.220
  • these powerful resources can have on your marriage.
  • 00:25:05.220 --> 00:25:09.030
  • - Yeah for example,
  • 00:25:09.030 --> 00:25:10.100
  • maybe your number one strength is empathy.
  • 00:25:10.100 --> 00:25:12.090
  • and your spouses strength is to be restorative.
  • 00:25:12.090 --> 00:25:15.150
  • Being aware of that is so important
  • 00:25:15.150 --> 00:25:17.140
  • because it will help you to understand
  • 00:25:17.140 --> 00:25:19.030
  • how each of you think.
  • 00:25:19.030 --> 00:25:20.130
  • Because while someone who is empathetic
  • 00:25:20.130 --> 00:25:22.040
  • will feel what others are feeling,
  • 00:25:22.040 --> 00:25:24.160
  • a restorative spouse will see a problem
  • 00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:26.230
  • and try to fix it.
  • 00:25:26.230 --> 00:25:28.060
  • They both want there to be resolution
  • 00:25:28.060 --> 00:25:30.110
  • and understanding,
  • 00:25:30.110 --> 00:25:31.120
  • peace and growth.
  • 00:25:31.120 --> 00:25:32.270
  • But their perspectives are completely opposite and
  • 00:25:32.270 --> 00:25:35.270
  • if misunderstood by each other,
  • 00:25:35.270 --> 00:25:37.210
  • can be cause for some really heated discussion.
  • 00:25:37.210 --> 00:25:40.140
  • - But trust me,
  • 00:25:40.140 --> 00:25:41.190
  • no matter what situation you're in,
  • 00:25:41.190 --> 00:25:43.110
  • your marriage can thrive in every area,
  • 00:25:43.110 --> 00:25:46.180
  • emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
  • 00:25:46.180 --> 00:25:48.250
  • And we wanna help you experience that today.
  • 00:25:48.250 --> 00:25:51.110
  • So request your Strengths Based Marriage resources
  • 00:25:51.110 --> 00:25:54.080
  • with your gift
  • 00:25:54.080 --> 00:25:55.230
  • and discover the principles you need to see yourself,
  • 00:25:55.230 --> 00:25:58.050
  • your spouse,
  • 00:25:58.050 --> 00:25:59.050
  • and your marriage,
  • 00:25:59.050 --> 00:26:00.230
  • in a new amazing way.
  • 00:26:00.230 --> 00:26:03.030
  • - [Narrator] TBN wants you to discover
  • 00:26:03.030 --> 00:26:05.060
  • the truths and principles found in
  • 00:26:05.060 --> 00:26:06.260
  • Strengths Based Marriage.
  • 00:26:06.260 --> 00:26:08.110
  • And you will begin to see a relationship with your spouse
  • 00:26:08.110 --> 00:26:10.200
  • in a whole new way.
  • 00:26:10.200 --> 00:26:12.040
  • Call or go online to request this powerful collection today.
  • 00:26:12.040 --> 00:26:15.160
  • With your gift of $120 or more.
  • 00:26:15.160 --> 00:26:18.020
  • And as our thank you for supporting TBN,
  • 00:26:18.020 --> 00:26:20.160
  • we will rush these incredible resources to you today.
  • 00:26:20.160 --> 00:26:23.220
  • Call 800-626-7454
  • 00:26:23.220 --> 00:26:27.270
  • or visit TBN.org/StrongMarriage.
  • 00:26:28.230 --> 00:26:31.150
  • - I am so glad you spent some time with us
  • 00:26:35.090 --> 00:26:37.110
  • discovering how a Strengths Based Marriage
  • 00:26:37.110 --> 00:26:39.170
  • can positively affect the intimacy in your marriage.
  • 00:26:39.170 --> 00:26:42.200
  • Teamwork isn't just practical,
  • 00:26:42.200 --> 00:26:44.290
  • it can be pleasurable too.
  • 00:26:44.290 --> 00:26:46.240
  • And God wants couples to serve and complement each other
  • 00:26:46.240 --> 00:26:49.230
  • and that includes
  • 00:26:49.230 --> 00:26:51.010
  • what happens in the bedroom.
  • 00:26:51.010 --> 00:26:52.140
  • After all, sex was God's idea.
  • 00:26:52.140 --> 00:26:55.050
  • Next time on Strengths Base Marriage,
  • 00:26:55.050 --> 00:26:56.290
  • we'll look at another idea that's good
  • 00:26:56.290 --> 00:26:58.280
  • for both husbands and wives.
  • 00:26:58.280 --> 00:27:00.270
  • It's the concept of shared control.
  • 00:27:00.270 --> 00:27:03.070
  • And how traditional roles might play out
  • 00:27:03.070 --> 00:27:05.120
  • in the face of our shifting culture's concept
  • 00:27:05.120 --> 00:27:08.040
  • of how men and women should treat each other.
  • 00:27:08.040 --> 00:27:10.180
  • It's sure to stir up some lively conversation.
  • 00:27:10.180 --> 00:27:12.200
  • And I hope you'll join us to see
  • 00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:14.090
  • what God has to say
  • 00:27:14.090 --> 00:27:15.200
  • about His brilliant design for marriage
  • 00:27:15.200 --> 00:27:17.240
  • on the next insightful episode
  • 00:27:17.240 --> 00:27:20.000
  • of Strengths Based Marriage.
  • 00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:21.220
  • And we'll see you then.
  • 00:27:21.220 --> 00:27:23.190