Prison of Offense Part 2 | TBN

Prison of Offense Part 2

Watch Prison of Offense Part 2
September 27, 2019
27:29

Steven Furtick

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Prison of Offense Part 2

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  • - You can't always control
  • 00:00:03.110 --> 00:00:04.280
  • what's handed to you,
  • 00:00:04.280 --> 00:00:06.020
  • but you can control
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  • what you do with it.
  • 00:00:06.280 --> 00:00:07.250
  • The enemy wants you
  • 00:00:07.250 --> 00:00:08.190
  • to drive it down deep.
  • 00:00:08.190 --> 00:00:09.280
  • You know, he wants you
  • 00:00:09.280 --> 00:00:10.250
  • to think about it
  • 00:00:10.250 --> 00:00:12.170
  • and miss all the reasons
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  • that the person has worked
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  • their way into your life
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  • and miss all the things
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  • they've done for you.
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  • And he wants to drive it.
  • 00:00:19.020 --> 00:00:20.070
  • But God says, "Drop it."
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  • I'm telling you, being married,
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  • being in a close relationship
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  • is about not how quickly
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  • you can get offended
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  • but how quickly
  • 00:00:31.260 --> 00:00:32.240
  • - Have you noticed
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  • that we live in an age
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  • of perpetual offense?
  • 00:00:40.140 --> 00:00:43.140
  • I mean, everybody is offended
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  • about everything all the time.
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  • And the reason it's so hard
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  • for you to stay happy
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  • is because it's so easy
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  • for you to get offended.
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  • Let me show you
  • 00:00:52.170 --> 00:00:53.050
  • what the devil wants to do
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  • in your relationship,
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  • because God said
  • 00:00:54.260 --> 00:00:55.210
  • that the two shall become one.
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  • This is exactly
  • 00:00:56.240 --> 00:00:57.230
  • what the enemy wants.
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  • So every battle
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  • you're going to fight,
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  • every argument about the dishes,
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  • really it's --
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  • The enemy's agenda
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  • is destruction
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  • and so his strategy is division.
  • 00:01:09.160 --> 00:01:12.160
  • And Jesus is giving us, really,
  • 00:01:12.160 --> 00:01:13.270
  • in Matthew 5
  • 00:01:13.270 --> 00:01:14.250
  • kind of a playbook of how
  • 00:01:14.250 --> 00:01:16.270
  • the enemy wants to work
  • 00:01:16.270 --> 00:01:18.080
  • in your relationship.
  • 00:01:18.080 --> 00:01:18.260
  • Now, he won't make
  • 00:01:18.260 --> 00:01:20.000
  • an announcement,
  • 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:21.120
  • "Hey, I'm coming to kill
  • 00:01:21.120 --> 00:01:23.000
  • and steal and destroy..."
  • 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:25.040
  • But if the enemy can just --
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  • What he'll do,
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  • he'll just use
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  • the littlest offense.
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  • Here's a garden.
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  • This represents the love
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  • of a relationship
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  • and all the potential
  • 00:01:37.130 --> 00:01:38.290
  • of a relationship.
  • 00:01:38.290 --> 00:01:40.080
  • And this, of course,
  • 00:01:40.080 --> 00:01:42.240
  • represents the offenses
  • 00:01:44.030 --> 00:01:47.030
  • that are going to come
  • 00:01:47.030 --> 00:01:47.230
  • into your relationship.
  • 00:01:47.230 --> 00:01:49.120
  • Now, you don't have
  • 00:01:49.120 --> 00:01:50.030
  • to be married
  • 00:01:50.030 --> 00:01:50.200
  • to get a whole lot out
  • 00:01:50.200 --> 00:01:51.160
  • of what I'm saying right now.
  • 00:01:51.160 --> 00:01:52.160
  • This will apply to anybody
  • 00:01:52.160 --> 00:01:53.240
  • in your life
  • 00:01:53.240 --> 00:01:55.130
  • who is important to you
  • 00:01:55.130 --> 00:01:57.010
  • and show you exactly
  • 00:01:57.010 --> 00:01:58.030
  • what the enemy will try to do.
  • 00:01:58.030 --> 00:01:59.240
  • Like, for instance,
  • 00:01:59.240 --> 00:02:01.070
  • I don't know if Stephanie's
  • 00:02:01.070 --> 00:02:02.040
  • a good cook or not.
  • 00:02:02.040 --> 00:02:03.170
  • - Oh, yeah.
  • 00:02:03.170 --> 00:02:04.040
  • - Yeah, good.
  • 00:02:04.040 --> 00:02:06.060
  • And I was talking
  • 00:02:06.060 --> 00:02:07.200
  • to my mom this morning.
  • 00:02:07.200 --> 00:02:08.170
  • You know, my mom lives here
  • 00:02:08.170 --> 00:02:09.170
  • in Charlotte
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  • and she reminded me
  • 00:02:10.070 --> 00:02:11.050
  • of this story.
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  • This is hilarious.
  • 00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:12.210
  • It just shows
  • 00:02:12.210 --> 00:02:13.070
  • how offenses can come.
  • 00:02:13.070 --> 00:02:14.250
  • Because the question isn't
  • 00:02:14.250 --> 00:02:16.020
  • are offenses going to come
  • 00:02:16.020 --> 00:02:17.260
  • into your relationship.
  • 00:02:17.260 --> 00:02:19.200
  • That's not the question.
  • 00:02:19.200 --> 00:02:20.090
  • They're going to come.
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  • They're going to come.
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  • The question is what are you
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  • going to do with 'em.
  • 00:02:25.220 --> 00:02:27.180
  • That's what determines whether
  • 00:02:27.180 --> 00:02:28.260
  • or not you keep a strong
  • 00:02:28.260 --> 00:02:29.270
  • relationship with God,
  • 00:02:29.270 --> 00:02:32.180
  • with others, with yourself.
  • 00:02:32.180 --> 00:02:35.110
  • So my mom was telling me
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  • they were at
  • 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:38.210
  • my father's mom's house,
  • 00:02:38.210 --> 00:02:40.260
  • so my grandmother,
  • 00:02:40.260 --> 00:02:41.180
  • my dad's mom's house
  • 00:02:41.180 --> 00:02:42.250
  • for Thanksgiving
  • 00:02:42.250 --> 00:02:43.260
  • and she made some stuffing.
  • 00:02:43.260 --> 00:02:46.050
  • You know, that -- Yeah.
  • 00:02:46.050 --> 00:02:48.030
  • And when she --
  • 00:02:48.030 --> 00:02:50.220
  • My grandmother
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  • made some stuffing.
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  • And the way
  • 00:02:53.120 --> 00:02:54.110
  • I understood the story,
  • 00:02:54.110 --> 00:02:55.100
  • my dad was sitting there
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  • eating his mom's stuffing.
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  • And while he's eating
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  • the stuffing, he says,
  • 00:02:59.030 --> 00:03:00.220
  • trying to give a compliment
  • 00:03:00.220 --> 00:03:01.250
  • to his mom, he's like, "Mmmm.
  • 00:03:02.150 --> 00:03:05.150
  • Mom, nobody makes stuffing
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  • like you.
  • 00:03:08.060 --> 00:03:10.030
  • I mean, other people
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  • try to make stuffing
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  • but nobody can make it
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  • like you."
  • 00:03:15.110 --> 00:03:16.270
  • And my mom is thinking,
  • 00:03:16.270 --> 00:03:19.020
  • while he's saying,
  • 00:03:19.020 --> 00:03:20.280
  • "Nobody makes stuffing
  • 00:03:20.280 --> 00:03:22.130
  • like you," my mom is thinking,
  • 00:03:22.180 --> 00:03:25.180
  • "And nobody is going to make
  • 00:03:25.180 --> 00:03:27.200
  • stuffing for you
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  • except your mom,
  • 00:03:29.040 --> 00:03:30.170
  • so you better invite your mom
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  • to be your cook if nobody
  • 00:03:33.080 --> 00:03:34.250
  • makes stuffing like her."
  • 00:03:34.250 --> 00:03:36.150
  • And my mom said,
  • 00:03:36.150 --> 00:03:37.270
  • "I didn't make that man
  • 00:03:37.270 --> 00:03:38.250
  • stuffing on Thanksgiving
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  • for the next six years."
  • 00:03:40.220 --> 00:03:43.220
  • And I said, "Can I tell
  • 00:03:43.220 --> 00:03:44.140
  • the church that story?
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  • It's a good illustration."
  • 00:03:45.140 --> 00:03:46.250
  • She said, "Yes, as long as
  • 00:03:46.250 --> 00:03:47.280
  • you clarify
  • 00:03:47.280 --> 00:03:49.030
  • that I really do make
  • 00:03:49.030 --> 00:03:50.180
  • better stuffing
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  • than your grandmother."
  • 00:03:52.060 --> 00:03:55.060
  • Now, I've got you holding that
  • 00:03:55.060 --> 00:03:57.200
  • because he says this stuff.
  • 00:03:57.200 --> 00:03:59.050
  • He says these
  • 00:03:59.050 --> 00:03:59.190
  • unintentional things,
  • 00:03:59.190 --> 00:04:00.190
  • 'cause men are stupid
  • 00:04:00.190 --> 00:04:01.070
  • and we just say stuff
  • 00:04:01.070 --> 00:04:01.260
  • and we don't realize
  • 00:04:01.260 --> 00:04:02.180
  • what we're saying,
  • 00:04:02.180 --> 00:04:03.120
  • and we just say stuff.
  • 00:04:03.120 --> 00:04:04.150
  • And maybe Dan
  • 00:04:04.150 --> 00:04:04.290
  • hasn't done it yet.
  • 00:04:04.290 --> 00:04:05.280
  • To me, he looks like
  • 00:04:05.280 --> 00:04:06.160
  • an intelligent man.
  • 00:04:06.160 --> 00:04:07.150
  • But he's going to say
  • 00:04:07.150 --> 00:04:08.270
  • something and he,
  • 00:04:08.270 --> 00:04:10.090
  • it will be unintentional.
  • 00:04:10.090 --> 00:04:12.020
  • In his mind,
  • 00:04:12.020 --> 00:04:12.180
  • he's just saying it.
  • 00:04:12.180 --> 00:04:13.190
  • He's just saying something.
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  • He just says stuff.
  • 00:04:15.250 --> 00:04:17.150
  • Or sometimes,
  • 00:04:17.150 --> 00:04:18.230
  • it's not what they say,
  • 00:04:18.230 --> 00:04:20.150
  • it's what they don't do.
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  • It's an unmet expectation.
  • 00:04:22.170 --> 00:04:24.210
  • That is the breeding ground
  • 00:04:24.210 --> 00:04:25.250
  • of offenses in relationships,
  • 00:04:25.250 --> 00:04:28.030
  • unmet expectations.
  • 00:04:28.030 --> 00:04:29.230
  • And let me tell you
  • 00:04:29.230 --> 00:04:30.110
  • the breeding ground
  • 00:04:30.110 --> 00:04:30.290
  • of unmet expectations,
  • 00:04:30.290 --> 00:04:32.090
  • unexpressed expectations.
  • 00:04:32.090 --> 00:04:34.060
  • So you've got to learn
  • 00:04:34.060 --> 00:04:34.270
  • how to talk to people.
  • 00:04:34.270 --> 00:04:35.290
  • Otherwise, like --
  • 00:04:35.290 --> 00:04:37.010
  • Let's say growing up
  • 00:04:37.010 --> 00:04:37.230
  • in Stephanie's house,
  • 00:04:37.230 --> 00:04:38.250
  • birthdays were a big deal.
  • 00:04:38.250 --> 00:04:41.170
  • But maybe at Dan's house,
  • 00:04:41.170 --> 00:04:42.290
  • they didn't make
  • 00:04:42.290 --> 00:04:43.160
  • a big deal about birthdays
  • 00:04:43.160 --> 00:04:45.140
  • 'cause hey, what did you do?
  • 00:04:45.140 --> 00:04:47.130
  • You didn't do anything
  • 00:04:47.130 --> 00:04:48.100
  • on your birthday.
  • 00:04:48.100 --> 00:04:49.070
  • You were just born.
  • 00:04:49.070 --> 00:04:50.090
  • So maybe on birthdays
  • 00:04:50.090 --> 00:04:51.040
  • at Dan's house
  • 00:04:51.040 --> 00:04:51.230
  • nobody celebrates the fact
  • 00:04:51.230 --> 00:04:53.060
  • that you just came out
  • 00:04:53.060 --> 00:04:54.190
  • into the world like it was some
  • 00:04:54.190 --> 00:04:55.220
  • great achievement.
  • 00:04:55.220 --> 00:04:57.160
  • But Stephanie wakes up
  • 00:04:57.160 --> 00:04:58.120
  • and her mom used to make her
  • 00:04:58.120 --> 00:04:59.120
  • pancakes on her birthday
  • 00:04:59.120 --> 00:05:00.130
  • and her dad had a special song
  • 00:05:00.130 --> 00:05:01.190
  • that he would sing.
  • 00:05:01.190 --> 00:05:02.090
  • I don't know.
  • 00:05:02.090 --> 00:05:02.250
  • I'm making this stuff up.
  • 00:05:02.250 --> 00:05:03.160
  • I never met Stephanie
  • 00:05:03.160 --> 00:05:04.030
  • and Dan before.
  • 00:05:04.030 --> 00:05:04.260
  • I was making a scenario.
  • 00:05:04.260 --> 00:05:06.050
  • And so, Dan wakes up
  • 00:05:06.050 --> 00:05:07.140
  • on the birthday
  • 00:05:07.140 --> 00:05:07.280
  • and he's going to take
  • 00:05:07.280 --> 00:05:08.190
  • her out to P.F. Chang's
  • 00:05:08.190 --> 00:05:09.280
  • that night 'cause that's
  • 00:05:09.280 --> 00:05:11.150
  • her favorite place she said,
  • 00:05:11.150 --> 00:05:12.140
  • but now it's morning time
  • 00:05:12.140 --> 00:05:13.160
  • and it's like seven
  • 00:05:13.160 --> 00:05:14.110
  • and there's no pancakes
  • 00:05:14.110 --> 00:05:15.030
  • and there's no special song
  • 00:05:15.030 --> 00:05:16.070
  • and there's no thing,
  • 00:05:16.070 --> 00:05:17.060
  • and so now all of a sudden,
  • 00:05:17.060 --> 00:05:18.150
  • it's the first birthday
  • 00:05:18.150 --> 00:05:19.080
  • they spend as a married couple
  • 00:05:19.080 --> 00:05:20.160
  • and he wakes up and gives her
  • 00:05:20.160 --> 00:05:21.180
  • a little kiss
  • 00:05:21.180 --> 00:05:22.110
  • and goes to work.
  • 00:05:22.110 --> 00:05:23.140
  • And leaves her with an offense.
  • 00:05:23.140 --> 00:05:26.130
  • And you're like,
  • 00:05:26.130 --> 00:05:26.270
  • "Well, that's stupid.
  • 00:05:26.270 --> 00:05:27.270
  • She shouldn't get so offended
  • 00:05:27.270 --> 00:05:28.180
  • over that."
  • 00:05:28.180 --> 00:05:29.110
  • Well, you get offended
  • 00:05:29.110 --> 00:05:30.080
  • over some stuff, too,
  • 00:05:30.120 --> 00:05:33.120
  • some little things,
  • 00:05:33.120 --> 00:05:35.210
  • and you hold it --
  • 00:05:35.210 --> 00:05:36.200
  • And they won't just be
  • 00:05:36.200 --> 00:05:37.270
  • you offending her.
  • 00:05:37.270 --> 00:05:40.090
  • Let's say maybe,
  • 00:05:40.090 --> 00:05:40.270
  • let's say you're working
  • 00:05:40.270 --> 00:05:41.270
  • really hard --
  • 00:05:41.270 --> 00:05:42.220
  • This used to happen in me
  • 00:05:42.220 --> 00:05:43.290
  • and Holly's marriage.
  • 00:05:43.290 --> 00:05:45.160
  • This is an example I did not ask
  • 00:05:45.160 --> 00:05:46.260
  • for permission to share.
  • 00:05:47.220 --> 00:05:50.220
  • When I discovered
  • 00:05:50.220 --> 00:05:51.120
  • that her recreational preference
  • 00:05:51.120 --> 00:05:53.280
  • was shopping, and --
  • 00:05:53.280 --> 00:05:56.240
  • Yeah, Yeah.
  • 00:05:56.240 --> 00:05:57.130
  • So --
  • 00:05:57.130 --> 00:05:58.010
  • She said, "Me, too".
  • 00:05:58.010 --> 00:05:59.090
  • So you come home on Saturday,
  • 00:05:59.090 --> 00:06:00.240
  • Holly would come home
  • 00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:01.160
  • on Saturday
  • 00:06:01.160 --> 00:06:02.130
  • and she would be energized
  • 00:06:02.130 --> 00:06:04.130
  • and she would have bags
  • 00:06:04.130 --> 00:06:06.190
  • all over her arms.
  • 00:06:06.190 --> 00:06:08.000
  • But to me, those bags
  • 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:09.160
  • didn't look like shopping bags.
  • 00:06:09.160 --> 00:06:11.170
  • Those bags looked like grenades
  • 00:06:12.160 --> 00:06:15.160
  • to be launched
  • 00:06:15.160 --> 00:06:16.070
  • into our financial picture.
  • 00:06:16.070 --> 00:06:17.280
  • Here I am, trying to work.
  • 00:06:17.280 --> 00:06:19.090
  • She's walking in
  • 00:06:19.090 --> 00:06:20.000
  • with all these bags, looking --
  • 00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:21.270
  • And then she has the nerve
  • 00:06:21.270 --> 00:06:22.250
  • to say, "Don't worry
  • 00:06:22.250 --> 00:06:24.180
  • 'cause I got it on..."
  • 00:06:24.180 --> 00:06:26.070
  • - Congregation: Sale.
  • 00:06:27.150 --> 00:06:30.150
  • - And this is what
  • 00:06:30.150 --> 00:06:31.050
  • the devil wants.
  • 00:06:31.050 --> 00:06:31.260
  • Alright?
  • 00:06:31.260 --> 00:06:32.110
  • Now, Dan is trying
  • 00:06:32.110 --> 00:06:33.150
  • to fall asleep
  • 00:06:33.150 --> 00:06:34.080
  • on Saturday night --
  • 00:06:34.080 --> 00:06:35.020
  • And again,
  • 00:06:35.020 --> 00:06:35.160
  • I'm just making this up.
  • 00:06:35.160 --> 00:06:36.150
  • But she handed you this offense.
  • 00:06:36.150 --> 00:06:37.280
  • She wasn't trying to offend you.
  • 00:06:37.280 --> 00:06:38.280
  • She was just shopping.
  • 00:06:38.280 --> 00:06:39.240
  • It was just her thing.
  • 00:06:39.240 --> 00:06:40.180
  • But Dan is working
  • 00:06:40.180 --> 00:06:41.140
  • and "doesn't she see
  • 00:06:41.140 --> 00:06:42.050
  • how hard I'm working"
  • 00:06:42.050 --> 00:06:43.110
  • and "how does she expect us
  • 00:06:43.110 --> 00:06:44.140
  • to get ahead financially"
  • 00:06:44.140 --> 00:06:45.240
  • and "like the last thing
  • 00:06:45.240 --> 00:06:46.250
  • she needs is another pair
  • 00:06:46.250 --> 00:06:47.270
  • of shoes".
  • 00:06:47.270 --> 00:06:48.190
  • And the enemy's like,
  • 00:06:48.190 --> 00:06:50.050
  • "Yeah, yeah.
  • 00:06:50.050 --> 00:06:50.220
  • That's good, Dan.
  • 00:06:50.220 --> 00:06:51.150
  • That's good.
  • 00:06:51.150 --> 00:06:52.010
  • She doesn't care about you.
  • 00:06:52.010 --> 00:06:53.020
  • She doesn't respect you.
  • 00:06:53.020 --> 00:06:54.120
  • She doesn't appreciate
  • 00:06:54.120 --> 00:06:56.080
  • all that you're doing
  • 00:06:56.080 --> 00:06:57.020
  • to provide for her.
  • 00:06:57.020 --> 00:06:58.170
  • She's working against you."
  • 00:06:58.170 --> 00:06:59.210
  • It's just a little offense.
  • 00:06:59.220 --> 00:07:02.240
  • Meanwhile, Stephanie
  • 00:07:06.290 --> 00:07:09.290
  • is still stuck on her birthday.
  • 00:07:09.290 --> 00:07:10.240
  • It was four months ago.
  • 00:07:10.240 --> 00:07:13.160
  • She's still mad
  • 00:07:13.160 --> 00:07:14.080
  • about the pancakes.
  • 00:07:14.080 --> 00:07:15.040
  • Come here, Stephanie.
  • 00:07:15.040 --> 00:07:16.180
  • And she's over here
  • 00:07:16.180 --> 00:07:17.260
  • and she's still nursing that,
  • 00:07:17.260 --> 00:07:20.190
  • that thing about the birthday,
  • 00:07:20.190 --> 00:07:22.150
  • and see it's --
  • 00:07:22.150 --> 00:07:24.210
  • Every time she thinks about it,
  • 00:07:24.210 --> 00:07:26.180
  • it gets a little deeper.
  • 00:07:27.070 --> 00:07:30.070
  • And she'll drive it down
  • 00:07:30.070 --> 00:07:31.080
  • in there with every thought
  • 00:07:31.080 --> 00:07:33.220
  • and reliving it
  • 00:07:33.220 --> 00:07:34.180
  • and thinking about what he said
  • 00:07:34.180 --> 00:07:36.050
  • and what she did
  • 00:07:36.050 --> 00:07:37.170
  • and what they didn't say.
  • 00:07:37.170 --> 00:07:39.060
  • "He didn't pay attention to me,
  • 00:07:39.060 --> 00:07:40.190
  • don't appreciate me,"
  • 00:07:40.190 --> 00:07:42.160
  • and just drives it down deeper.
  • 00:07:42.160 --> 00:07:44.140
  • And marriage
  • 00:07:44.140 --> 00:07:44.250
  • is going to give you,
  • 00:07:44.250 --> 00:07:47.110
  • because it's the most
  • 00:07:47.110 --> 00:07:48.000
  • intimate relationship;
  • 00:07:48.010 --> 00:07:51.010
  • and the more intimate
  • 00:07:51.010 --> 00:07:51.220
  • the relationship,
  • 00:07:51.220 --> 00:07:53.240
  • the more infinite
  • 00:07:53.240 --> 00:07:55.210
  • the potential for offense.
  • 00:07:59.270 --> 00:08:02.290
  • And so you're going to have like
  • 00:08:02.290 --> 00:08:05.240
  • a million offenses,
  • 00:08:05.240 --> 00:08:06.230
  • little offenses;
  • 00:08:06.230 --> 00:08:08.070
  • and if you don't learn
  • 00:08:08.070 --> 00:08:08.290
  • how to deal with them,
  • 00:08:08.290 --> 00:08:09.200
  • because sometimes the thing
  • 00:08:09.200 --> 00:08:11.280
  • that you liked about her
  • 00:08:11.280 --> 00:08:14.080
  • when you were dating
  • 00:08:14.080 --> 00:08:15.010
  • will drive you crazy
  • 00:08:15.010 --> 00:08:16.180
  • now that you have to wake up
  • 00:08:16.180 --> 00:08:17.200
  • with it every day.
  • 00:08:17.200 --> 00:08:20.020
  • No offense to Stephanie.
  • 00:08:20.020 --> 00:08:21.000
  • I'm sure she's wonderful.
  • 00:08:21.000 --> 00:08:21.250
  • You're like, "Why would you say
  • 00:08:21.250 --> 00:08:22.230
  • that about her?"
  • 00:08:22.230 --> 00:08:23.120
  • It's true about everybody.
  • 00:08:23.120 --> 00:08:24.210
  • Here's how the country preacher
  • 00:08:24.210 --> 00:08:25.200
  • says it.
  • 00:08:25.200 --> 00:08:26.030
  • He said, "Before marriage,
  • 00:08:26.030 --> 00:08:28.010
  • opposites attract.
  • 00:08:28.010 --> 00:08:29.230
  • After marriage,
  • 00:08:29.230 --> 00:08:30.290
  • opposites attack.
  • 00:08:30.290 --> 00:08:32.260
  • Amen."
  • 00:08:33.010 --> 00:08:36.010
  • That's how
  • 00:08:36.010 --> 00:08:36.130
  • the country preacher says it.
  • 00:08:36.130 --> 00:08:39.110
  • And so I know
  • 00:08:39.110 --> 00:08:41.030
  • it's kind of heavy.
  • 00:08:41.030 --> 00:08:42.070
  • That's how offenses are.
  • 00:08:42.070 --> 00:08:43.090
  • But it's not all at once.
  • 00:08:43.090 --> 00:08:44.170
  • It's one at a time.
  • 00:08:44.170 --> 00:08:46.000
  • So like, let's say that
  • 00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:48.010
  • before marriage you liked her
  • 00:08:48.010 --> 00:08:49.170
  • because she is mysterious
  • 00:08:49.280 --> 00:08:52.280
  • and quiet and that draws
  • 00:08:52.280 --> 00:08:54.280
  • you to her.
  • 00:08:54.280 --> 00:08:56.100
  • But then, in marriage,
  • 00:08:56.100 --> 00:08:57.190
  • it can go this way,
  • 00:08:57.190 --> 00:08:58.240
  • to where it was really
  • 00:08:58.240 --> 00:09:00.230
  • attractive that she was quiet
  • 00:09:00.230 --> 00:09:02.110
  • and mysterious
  • 00:09:02.110 --> 00:09:03.130
  • when you were dating her,
  • 00:09:03.130 --> 00:09:04.100
  • but now, in marriage,
  • 00:09:04.100 --> 00:09:05.060
  • she won't ever talk.
  • 00:09:05.060 --> 00:09:07.290
  • And it's like,
  • 00:09:07.290 --> 00:09:08.200
  • "No, but yeah, but no."
  • 00:09:08.200 --> 00:09:10.120
  • But just for example.
  • 00:09:10.120 --> 00:09:12.210
  • And it's like,
  • 00:09:12.210 --> 00:09:13.080
  • "Why won't you tell me
  • 00:09:13.080 --> 00:09:14.070
  • what's on your mind?"
  • 00:09:14.070 --> 00:09:16.070
  • But that's why you liked her.
  • 00:09:16.070 --> 00:09:17.110
  • And before you married him,
  • 00:09:17.110 --> 00:09:18.230
  • he was the life of the party
  • 00:09:18.230 --> 00:09:21.020
  • and he walked in
  • 00:09:21.020 --> 00:09:21.260
  • and he just talked
  • 00:09:21.260 --> 00:09:22.190
  • and lit up the room.
  • 00:09:22.190 --> 00:09:23.210
  • And now, why won't
  • 00:09:23.210 --> 00:09:24.250
  • he ever shut up?
  • 00:09:24.250 --> 00:09:27.120
  • Dan will not shut up.
  • 00:09:27.120 --> 00:09:29.270
  • Shut up, Dan.
  • 00:09:31.160 --> 00:09:34.160
  • And so what actually was part
  • 00:09:34.160 --> 00:09:37.070
  • of building the foundation
  • 00:09:37.070 --> 00:09:38.010
  • of the relationship,
  • 00:09:38.010 --> 00:09:38.230
  • now it's offense.
  • 00:09:38.230 --> 00:09:39.180
  • And it happens
  • 00:09:39.180 --> 00:09:40.100
  • a million different ways
  • 00:09:40.100 --> 00:09:42.170
  • and the enemy will give you
  • 00:09:43.070 --> 00:09:46.070
  • all kinds of opportunities.
  • 00:09:48.040 --> 00:09:51.040
  • And you don't realize
  • 00:09:51.040 --> 00:09:52.210
  • what's happening
  • 00:09:52.210 --> 00:09:53.060
  • because it's just one little
  • 00:09:53.060 --> 00:09:54.270
  • conversation after another,
  • 00:09:54.270 --> 00:09:56.000
  • you know.
  • 00:09:56.000 --> 00:09:57.000
  • It's just dressing
  • 00:09:57.000 --> 00:09:57.150
  • on Thanksgiving.
  • 00:09:57.150 --> 00:09:59.020
  • Ain't no big thing.
  • 00:09:59.020 --> 00:10:00.230
  • It's just me
  • 00:10:00.230 --> 00:10:01.050
  • trying to tell Holly
  • 00:10:01.050 --> 00:10:01.280
  • how to drive and her saying,
  • 00:10:01.280 --> 00:10:02.230
  • "Well then, why don't you drive
  • 00:10:02.230 --> 00:10:03.290
  • if you're such a good driver."
  • 00:10:03.290 --> 00:10:06.210
  • And we have a lot of dysfunction
  • 00:10:06.210 --> 00:10:07.170
  • in our relationship
  • 00:10:07.170 --> 00:10:08.120
  • over what happens in the car
  • 00:10:08.120 --> 00:10:10.010
  • because I can't find
  • 00:10:10.010 --> 00:10:11.080
  • my way places
  • 00:10:11.080 --> 00:10:11.280
  • and she can't drive.
  • 00:10:12.170 --> 00:10:15.170
  • So she has a great sense
  • 00:10:15.170 --> 00:10:17.010
  • of direction
  • 00:10:17.010 --> 00:10:17.190
  • but horrible driving skills.
  • 00:10:17.190 --> 00:10:19.220
  • I'm a great driver
  • 00:10:19.220 --> 00:10:20.200
  • with no sense of direction.
  • 00:10:21.060 --> 00:10:24.060
  • So the other night,
  • 00:10:24.060 --> 00:10:26.180
  • we're driving,
  • 00:10:26.180 --> 00:10:27.280
  • coming from a movie
  • 00:10:27.280 --> 00:10:29.080
  • as a matter of fact.
  • 00:10:29.080 --> 00:10:30.180
  • Not the Christian
  • 00:10:30.180 --> 00:10:32.030
  • football movie.
  • 00:10:32.030 --> 00:10:33.080
  • But we were coming back
  • 00:10:33.080 --> 00:10:35.020
  • and she almost got us killed.
  • 00:10:36.150 --> 00:10:39.150
  • And I was mad because, to me,
  • 00:10:39.150 --> 00:10:41.110
  • she wasn't paying attention.
  • 00:10:41.110 --> 00:10:43.160
  • And we talked about that later
  • 00:10:43.160 --> 00:10:45.060
  • and she was like,
  • 00:10:45.060 --> 00:10:46.140
  • "Well, you know,
  • 00:10:46.140 --> 00:10:48.050
  • if you want to be in control
  • 00:10:48.050 --> 00:10:49.010
  • of how the car works,
  • 00:10:49.010 --> 00:10:51.040
  • there's a different seat
  • 00:10:51.040 --> 00:10:51.210
  • you can sit in."
  • 00:10:53.060 --> 00:10:56.060
  • Shut up.
  • 00:10:56.060 --> 00:10:57.290
  • Raca.
  • 00:10:57.290 --> 00:11:00.020
  • Raca.
  • 00:11:03.100 --> 00:11:06.100
  • "That's the biggest problem
  • 00:11:06.100 --> 00:11:07.100
  • you have?"
  • 00:11:07.100 --> 00:11:07.290
  • No, it's not the biggest problem
  • 00:11:07.290 --> 00:11:08.230
  • we have, it's just the one
  • 00:11:08.230 --> 00:11:09.230
  • I'm going to tell you about.
  • 00:11:09.230 --> 00:11:10.180
  • It's none of your business
  • 00:11:10.180 --> 00:11:11.090
  • what problems we have.
  • 00:11:11.090 --> 00:11:13.210
  • But see, offense by offense --
  • 00:11:14.210 --> 00:11:17.210
  • If we don't learn
  • 00:11:17.210 --> 00:11:18.060
  • what to do about this,
  • 00:11:18.060 --> 00:11:19.210
  • the enemy would love
  • 00:11:19.210 --> 00:11:21.260
  • just one conversation
  • 00:11:21.260 --> 00:11:23.070
  • after another.
  • 00:11:23.070 --> 00:11:23.270
  • You don't make a decision
  • 00:11:23.270 --> 00:11:25.050
  • to walk away
  • 00:11:25.050 --> 00:11:25.220
  • from a relationship
  • 00:11:25.220 --> 00:11:26.160
  • that you love.
  • 00:11:26.160 --> 00:11:27.070
  • You don't see them becoming
  • 00:11:27.070 --> 00:11:28.140
  • your enemy in Matthew 5:25.
  • 00:11:28.140 --> 00:11:31.050
  • It's just one unacknowledged
  • 00:11:33.080 --> 00:11:36.080
  • effort after another.
  • 00:11:36.080 --> 00:11:37.130
  • And you start thinking,
  • 00:11:37.130 --> 00:11:39.010
  • "Well, I'm the only one
  • 00:11:39.010 --> 00:11:40.030
  • who ever takes out the trash
  • 00:11:40.030 --> 00:11:42.080
  • around here.
  • 00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:47.120
  • Well, I guess I'll do it again,
  • 00:11:47.120 --> 00:11:50.060
  • like always.
  • 00:11:50.060 --> 00:11:50.270
  • No, it's good.
  • 00:11:50.270 --> 00:11:51.150
  • I've got it.
  • 00:11:51.150 --> 00:11:53.140
  • I've got it.
  • 00:11:53.140 --> 00:11:54.010
  • It's not a problem."
  • 00:11:54.010 --> 00:11:54.290
  • "I would love to get up
  • 00:11:54.290 --> 00:11:57.010
  • with the kid again
  • 00:11:57.010 --> 00:11:58.140
  • in the middle of the night.
  • 00:11:58.140 --> 00:11:59.290
  • No, it's fine.
  • 00:11:59.290 --> 00:12:01.120
  • You've got to work."
  • 00:12:04.100 --> 00:12:07.100
  • And now, what started
  • 00:12:08.280 --> 00:12:11.280
  • as just a small offense --
  • 00:12:12.210 --> 00:12:15.210
  • Now, what God joined together
  • 00:12:18.220 --> 00:12:21.220
  • is separated
  • 00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:25.000
  • because of offense.
  • 00:12:25.100 --> 00:12:28.100
  • [Applause]
  • 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:37.000
  • And now the crazy thing is,
  • 00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:37.250
  • Jesus said if you let it
  • 00:12:37.250 --> 00:12:39.040
  • get to this point,
  • 00:12:39.040 --> 00:12:41.110
  • if you live your relational life
  • 00:12:41.110 --> 00:12:43.120
  • on the basis of "well, I'm not
  • 00:12:43.120 --> 00:12:45.010
  • apologizing first;
  • 00:12:45.010 --> 00:12:45.240
  • I apologized first
  • 00:12:45.240 --> 00:12:46.230
  • the last time,"
  • 00:12:46.230 --> 00:12:48.250
  • if you don't learn
  • 00:12:48.250 --> 00:12:49.130
  • how to deal with these things,
  • 00:12:49.130 --> 00:12:50.120
  • you find yourself imprisoned.
  • 00:12:50.250 --> 00:12:53.250
  • It's not them that you imprison.
  • 00:12:53.250 --> 00:12:56.230
  • It's you.
  • 00:12:57.170 --> 00:13:00.190
  • "Hey, Dan.
  • 00:13:01.250 --> 00:13:04.250
  • Why don't we talk anymore?
  • 00:13:04.250 --> 00:13:07.150
  • Where did the love go?
  • 00:13:08.110 --> 00:13:11.110
  • Dan, we haven't been
  • 00:13:11.110 --> 00:13:12.010
  • to P.F. Chang's
  • 00:13:12.010 --> 00:13:12.290
  • in three years, Dan."
  • 00:13:14.240 --> 00:13:17.240
  • You built offense.
  • 00:13:21.110 --> 00:13:24.110
  • The enemy's agenda
  • 00:13:24.110 --> 00:13:25.140
  • is destruction,
  • 00:13:25.140 --> 00:13:26.270
  • his strategy is division,
  • 00:13:26.270 --> 00:13:29.030
  • and his tactic is offense.
  • 00:13:29.030 --> 00:13:31.200
  • Thankfully, God has given us
  • 00:13:32.060 --> 00:13:35.060
  • another way to deal
  • 00:13:35.060 --> 00:13:36.180
  • with offense.
  • 00:13:36.180 --> 00:13:39.130
  • If only we could find an example
  • 00:13:40.260 --> 00:13:43.260
  • of somebody who had every right
  • 00:13:43.260 --> 00:13:45.100
  • to be offended,
  • 00:13:45.100 --> 00:13:48.050
  • of somebody who had every right
  • 00:13:48.050 --> 00:13:50.190
  • to hold it against us,
  • 00:13:51.050 --> 00:13:54.050
  • of somebody who had every right
  • 00:13:54.050 --> 00:13:56.280
  • to stand at a distance,
  • 00:13:58.220 --> 00:14:01.240
  • but opened His arms and said,
  • 00:14:06.030 --> 00:14:09.030
  • "This is the way
  • 00:14:09.030 --> 00:14:10.010
  • of relationships."
  • 00:14:11.020 --> 00:14:14.020
  • And the Lord
  • 00:14:14.020 --> 00:14:15.230
  • gave me a real specific
  • 00:14:15.230 --> 00:14:17.230
  • word for somebody
  • 00:14:17.230 --> 00:14:19.190
  • who needs reconciliation
  • 00:14:19.190 --> 00:14:20.260
  • in your relationship.
  • 00:14:20.260 --> 00:14:22.200
  • It's very simple
  • 00:14:22.200 --> 00:14:23.230
  • what they have to do.
  • 00:14:23.230 --> 00:14:24.220
  • If they're going to stay
  • 00:14:24.220 --> 00:14:25.180
  • like they started,
  • 00:14:25.180 --> 00:14:27.110
  • if we're going to get back
  • 00:14:27.110 --> 00:14:28.030
  • to where we were,
  • 00:14:28.030 --> 00:14:30.030
  • we're going to have to learn --
  • 00:14:30.030 --> 00:14:31.100
  • Watch this.
  • 00:14:31.100 --> 00:14:32.000
  • This is very profound.
  • 00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:33.170
  • It's deep.
  • 00:14:33.170 --> 00:14:34.010
  • You're going to miss it.
  • 00:14:34.010 --> 00:14:34.250
  • This is what you're going
  • 00:14:34.250 --> 00:14:35.150
  • to have to learn.
  • 00:14:35.150 --> 00:14:38.010
  • You've got to learn to drop it.
  • 00:14:38.170 --> 00:14:41.170
  • You've got to learn to drop it.
  • 00:14:41.170 --> 00:14:44.140
  • And I don't mean suppress it.
  • 00:14:44.140 --> 00:14:46.020
  • I don't mean you don't deal
  • 00:14:46.020 --> 00:14:46.280
  • with things after they happen.
  • 00:14:46.280 --> 00:14:48.140
  • But after you've had
  • 00:14:48.140 --> 00:14:49.110
  • the conversation,
  • 00:14:49.110 --> 00:14:50.110
  • "Dan, I like pancakes
  • 00:14:50.110 --> 00:14:51.140
  • on my birthday,"
  • 00:14:51.140 --> 00:14:52.150
  • then drop it.
  • 00:14:52.150 --> 00:14:54.120
  • Touch somebody and say,
  • 00:14:54.120 --> 00:14:55.000
  • "Drop it."
  • 00:14:55.000 --> 00:14:56.280
  • I mean, the moment
  • 00:14:56.280 --> 00:14:57.140
  • the offense --
  • 00:14:57.140 --> 00:14:58.100
  • Because you can't always control
  • 00:14:58.100 --> 00:15:00.030
  • what's handed to you,
  • 00:15:00.030 --> 00:15:01.050
  • but you can control
  • 00:15:01.050 --> 00:15:02.030
  • what you do with it.
  • 00:15:02.030 --> 00:15:03.000
  • So what are you going to do
  • 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:04.010
  • with the offense?
  • 00:15:04.010 --> 00:15:06.290
  • Come on, Dan.
  • 00:15:06.290 --> 00:15:07.170
  • You can't choose anybody
  • 00:15:07.170 --> 00:15:09.070
  • else's actions.
  • 00:15:09.070 --> 00:15:10.110
  • The enemy wants you
  • 00:15:10.110 --> 00:15:11.070
  • to drive it down deep.
  • 00:15:11.070 --> 00:15:12.240
  • You know, he wants you
  • 00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:14.250
  • to think about it
  • 00:15:14.250 --> 00:15:15.110
  • and miss all the reasons
  • 00:15:15.110 --> 00:15:16.050
  • that the person has worked
  • 00:15:16.050 --> 00:15:18.200
  • their way into your life
  • 00:15:18.200 --> 00:15:19.250
  • and miss all the things
  • 00:15:19.250 --> 00:15:20.150
  • they've done for you.
  • 00:15:20.150 --> 00:15:21.170
  • And he wants to drive it.
  • 00:15:21.170 --> 00:15:22.220
  • But God says, "Drop it."
  • 00:15:23.190 --> 00:15:26.190
  • I believe that there
  • 00:15:26.190 --> 00:15:28.000
  • are some things
  • 00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:29.020
  • that we need to drop tonight.
  • 00:15:29.020 --> 00:15:30.120
  • In fact, Jesus said this
  • 00:15:30.120 --> 00:15:31.190
  • is so important
  • 00:15:31.190 --> 00:15:32.180
  • that if you are in church
  • 00:15:32.180 --> 00:15:34.130
  • at the altar offering a gift
  • 00:15:34.130 --> 00:15:36.170
  • and a sacrifice
  • 00:15:36.170 --> 00:15:38.050
  • but the primary relationships
  • 00:15:38.050 --> 00:15:39.190
  • in your life are dysfunctional
  • 00:15:39.190 --> 00:15:41.270
  • and need reconciliation,
  • 00:15:41.270 --> 00:15:43.200
  • you can't even properly connect
  • 00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:46.070
  • with God unless you
  • 00:15:46.190 --> 00:15:49.190
  • drop it.
  • 00:15:49.190 --> 00:15:51.260
  • Do it again, Dan.
  • 00:15:51.260 --> 00:15:54.080
  • Drop it.
  • 00:15:54.080 --> 00:15:55.200
  • Every time they do it,
  • 00:15:55.200 --> 00:15:56.120
  • I want you to reinforce it.
  • 00:15:56.120 --> 00:15:57.190
  • One.
  • 00:15:57.190 --> 00:15:58.030
  • Two.
  • 00:15:58.030 --> 00:15:58.150
  • Three.
  • 00:15:58.150 --> 00:15:59.020
  • Drop it.
  • 00:15:59.020 --> 00:16:00.200
  • What are you going to do
  • 00:16:00.200 --> 00:16:01.150
  • when they don't acknowledge you,
  • 00:16:01.150 --> 00:16:03.180
  • when they don't notice you?
  • 00:16:03.180 --> 00:16:04.170
  • What are you going to do?
  • 00:16:04.170 --> 00:16:05.210
  • - Congregation: Drop it.
  • 00:16:05.210 --> 00:16:06.260
  • - What are you going to do
  • 00:16:06.260 --> 00:16:07.250
  • when they are too busy
  • 00:16:07.250 --> 00:16:10.050
  • to show you the love
  • 00:16:10.050 --> 00:16:11.080
  • and affection but you know
  • 00:16:11.080 --> 00:16:12.210
  • that they're trying
  • 00:16:12.210 --> 00:16:13.120
  • as hard as they can
  • 00:16:13.120 --> 00:16:14.050
  • 'til you got to --
  • 00:16:14.050 --> 00:16:15.020
  • - Congregation: Drop it.
  • 00:16:15.020 --> 00:16:16.100
  • - I'm telling you,
  • 00:16:16.100 --> 00:16:17.080
  • being married,
  • 00:16:17.080 --> 00:16:18.100
  • being in a close relationship
  • 00:16:18.100 --> 00:16:20.080
  • is about not how quickly
  • 00:16:20.080 --> 00:16:22.170
  • you can get offended
  • 00:16:22.170 --> 00:16:24.160
  • but how quickly
  • 00:16:24.210 --> 00:16:27.210
  • you can get over it.
  • 00:16:27.210 --> 00:16:29.060
  • [Applause]
  • 00:16:36.140 --> 00:16:39.140
  • And I want everyone to stand,
  • 00:16:39.140 --> 00:16:40.240
  • at every location,
  • 00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:41.270
  • because I want to pray
  • 00:16:41.270 --> 00:16:43.120
  • for some people.
  • 00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:44.040
  • Thank you, guys.
  • 00:16:44.040 --> 00:16:44.260
  • Would you give them some love?
  • 00:16:44.260 --> 00:16:45.220
  • That was amazing.
  • 00:16:46.030 --> 00:16:49.030
  • They're walking off
  • 00:16:49.030 --> 00:16:49.160
  • hand in hand.
  • 00:16:52.280 --> 00:16:55.280
  • I asked the Lord to help me
  • 00:16:55.280 --> 00:16:58.040
  • end this message in a way.
  • 00:16:58.040 --> 00:17:00.060
  • He said, "You need to pray
  • 00:17:00.060 --> 00:17:01.080
  • for people, for not what
  • 00:17:01.080 --> 00:17:03.050
  • they're going to experience
  • 00:17:03.050 --> 00:17:03.260
  • while they're in the church,
  • 00:17:03.260 --> 00:17:04.290
  • but what's going to happen
  • 00:17:04.290 --> 00:17:06.010
  • when they leave" because,
  • 00:17:06.080 --> 00:17:09.080
  • you know, you can offer a gift
  • 00:17:09.080 --> 00:17:10.120
  • at the altar
  • 00:17:10.120 --> 00:17:10.280
  • and feel pretty good about it,
  • 00:17:10.280 --> 00:17:12.080
  • but what's happening back
  • 00:17:12.080 --> 00:17:13.090
  • at home can be a living hell.
  • 00:17:13.090 --> 00:17:16.000
  • And when I read
  • 00:17:16.000 --> 00:17:18.250
  • those words of Jesus,
  • 00:17:18.250 --> 00:17:19.230
  • that He said,
  • 00:17:19.230 --> 00:17:22.040
  • that when you don't deal
  • 00:17:22.040 --> 00:17:23.020
  • with the offenses
  • 00:17:23.020 --> 00:17:24.260
  • and when you don't drop
  • 00:17:24.260 --> 00:17:25.170
  • the offenses,
  • 00:17:25.170 --> 00:17:27.130
  • when you allow it to become
  • 00:17:27.130 --> 00:17:28.070
  • resentment in your life --
  • 00:17:28.070 --> 00:17:29.260
  • Because, hey, sometimes
  • 00:17:29.260 --> 00:17:31.110
  • reconciliation isn't possible.
  • 00:17:31.110 --> 00:17:34.060
  • I mean, sometimes the person
  • 00:17:34.060 --> 00:17:35.060
  • is dead that you've held
  • 00:17:35.060 --> 00:17:36.210
  • the offense against.
  • 00:17:36.210 --> 00:17:37.230
  • Sometimes the person
  • 00:17:37.230 --> 00:17:38.230
  • isn't willing.
  • 00:17:38.230 --> 00:17:41.170
  • But release?
  • 00:17:41.170 --> 00:17:43.290
  • Release is always available.
  • 00:17:44.090 --> 00:17:47.090
  • Release starts in your heart.
  • 00:17:47.090 --> 00:17:49.110
  • Smedes said
  • 00:17:49.110 --> 00:17:50.000
  • that "forgiveness is setting
  • 00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:52.060
  • a prisoner free and finding out
  • 00:17:52.060 --> 00:17:55.050
  • the prisoner was you".
  • 00:17:55.050 --> 00:17:57.130
  • [Applause]
  • 00:18:01.230 --> 00:18:04.230
  • So I believe God
  • 00:18:04.230 --> 00:18:05.170
  • wants to release
  • 00:18:05.170 --> 00:18:07.060
  • some people today,
  • 00:18:07.060 --> 00:18:09.150
  • release you from some things
  • 00:18:09.150 --> 00:18:10.250
  • you've been holding on to,
  • 00:18:12.240 --> 00:18:15.240
  • some things that have been
  • 00:18:15.240 --> 00:18:16.250
  • keeping you at a distance,
  • 00:18:16.250 --> 00:18:18.030
  • some things that have been
  • 00:18:18.030 --> 00:18:18.260
  • keeping you divided;
  • 00:18:18.260 --> 00:18:20.150
  • and that in these closing
  • 00:18:20.150 --> 00:18:23.090
  • moments of our time
  • 00:18:23.090 --> 00:18:23.270
  • together today
  • 00:18:24.080 --> 00:18:27.080
  • there are some things
  • 00:18:27.080 --> 00:18:27.240
  • by the power of the cross
  • 00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:29.120
  • of Jesus Christ
  • 00:18:29.120 --> 00:18:30.150
  • that God is going
  • 00:18:30.150 --> 00:18:31.140
  • to bring to mind,
  • 00:18:31.140 --> 00:18:33.140
  • some offenses
  • 00:18:33.140 --> 00:18:34.250
  • that you've been building
  • 00:18:34.250 --> 00:18:36.270
  • in some very
  • 00:18:36.270 --> 00:18:37.140
  • important relationships
  • 00:18:37.140 --> 00:18:38.270
  • and that God is going
  • 00:18:38.270 --> 00:18:39.250
  • to begin to demolish
  • 00:18:39.250 --> 00:18:41.200
  • your excuses and break down
  • 00:18:41.200 --> 00:18:44.050
  • your pride and your walls today
  • 00:18:44.050 --> 00:18:47.040
  • and that we're going
  • 00:18:47.040 --> 00:18:47.190
  • to receive hundreds
  • 00:18:47.190 --> 00:18:49.110
  • of testimonies from the word
  • 00:18:49.110 --> 00:18:51.260
  • that went forth today
  • 00:18:51.260 --> 00:18:54.070
  • of a process of reconciliation
  • 00:18:54.070 --> 00:18:56.090
  • and healing that began
  • 00:18:56.090 --> 00:18:58.120
  • between husbands and wives,
  • 00:18:58.120 --> 00:19:00.060
  • between parents and children,
  • 00:19:00.190 --> 00:19:03.190
  • between friends
  • 00:19:03.190 --> 00:19:04.120
  • that haven't spoken.
  • 00:19:04.120 --> 00:19:06.150
  • God says, "Drop it."
  • 00:19:06.150 --> 00:19:08.090
  • Man, I feel the spirit of Snoop
  • 00:19:08.090 --> 00:19:10.140
  • coming on me right now,
  • 00:19:10.140 --> 00:19:12.090
  • and I want to say,
  • 00:19:12.090 --> 00:19:12.290
  • "Drop it like it's hot."
  • 00:19:14.140 --> 00:19:17.140
  • Come on.
  • 00:19:17.140 --> 00:19:18.040
  • You've got to drop it
  • 00:19:18.040 --> 00:19:18.260
  • while you can.
  • 00:19:18.260 --> 00:19:20.080
  • He said, "Do it while
  • 00:19:20.080 --> 00:19:21.110
  • you're still on the way or this
  • 00:19:21.110 --> 00:19:23.090
  • won't end well with you."
  • 00:19:23.090 --> 00:19:25.260
  • Unchecked resentment
  • 00:19:25.260 --> 00:19:28.170
  • leads to regret.
  • 00:19:29.090 --> 00:19:32.090
  • Unbelievable regret.
  • 00:19:32.090 --> 00:19:34.020
  • And you don't want
  • 00:19:34.020 --> 00:19:34.190
  • that for your life.
  • 00:19:34.190 --> 00:19:36.170
  • So with everyone standing today,
  • 00:19:36.170 --> 00:19:38.060
  • I want to ask you a question.
  • 00:19:38.060 --> 00:19:40.190
  • If God dropped
  • 00:19:40.190 --> 00:19:41.140
  • the charges against you,
  • 00:19:43.170 --> 00:19:46.170
  • what offense is there
  • 00:19:46.170 --> 00:19:48.020
  • in the universe
  • 00:19:48.020 --> 00:19:49.200
  • that you can't let go of?
  • 00:19:49.200 --> 00:19:51.070
  • It's not just flowing to me.
  • 00:19:51.070 --> 00:19:52.150
  • The forgiveness of God
  • 00:19:52.150 --> 00:19:53.100
  • flows through me.
  • 00:19:53.100 --> 00:19:54.220
  • And because I'm forgiven,
  • 00:19:54.220 --> 00:19:57.050
  • I can forgive.
  • 00:19:58.080 --> 00:20:01.080
  • Now, before I pray,
  • 00:20:02.250 --> 00:20:05.250
  • I'm not saying
  • 00:20:05.250 --> 00:20:06.230
  • that you tolerate abuse.
  • 00:20:06.230 --> 00:20:08.170
  • I'm not saying any of that.
  • 00:20:08.170 --> 00:20:09.170
  • Here's what I'm saying.
  • 00:20:09.170 --> 00:20:12.100
  • Offense is an event.
  • 00:20:14.110 --> 00:20:17.110
  • Offended is a decision.
  • 00:20:23.200 --> 00:20:26.200
  • Again.
  • 00:20:26.200 --> 00:20:28.180
  • Offense is an event.
  • 00:20:28.180 --> 00:20:30.080
  • "They hurt me."
  • 00:20:30.080 --> 00:20:30.250
  • Offense is an event.
  • 00:20:30.250 --> 00:20:31.200
  • We need to work through this.
  • 00:20:31.200 --> 00:20:33.280
  • But to live offended
  • 00:20:33.280 --> 00:20:36.170
  • as a believer in Jesus Christ
  • 00:20:36.170 --> 00:20:38.070
  • and to stay that way
  • 00:20:38.070 --> 00:20:40.100
  • and to live in that place
  • 00:20:40.100 --> 00:20:42.170
  • denies the very nature
  • 00:20:42.170 --> 00:20:45.140
  • of the salvation
  • 00:20:45.140 --> 00:20:48.020
  • that you claim to have received.
  • 00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:51.160
  • So we want to make some
  • 00:20:51.160 --> 00:20:52.090
  • decisions today.
  • 00:20:52.090 --> 00:20:55.080
  • If you feel comfortable,
  • 00:20:55.080 --> 00:20:56.060
  • would you just lift your hands
  • 00:20:56.060 --> 00:20:56.290
  • as a sign of release?
  • 00:20:56.290 --> 00:20:58.080
  • Nobody's looking at you.
  • 00:20:58.080 --> 00:20:59.150
  • Don't even worry
  • 00:20:59.150 --> 00:21:00.020
  • about the crowd right now.
  • 00:21:00.020 --> 00:21:01.130
  • Father, in this moment,
  • 00:21:01.130 --> 00:21:02.160
  • we come before You
  • 00:21:02.160 --> 00:21:03.190
  • and we just release,
  • 00:21:03.190 --> 00:21:06.140
  • release, release.
  • 00:21:06.140 --> 00:21:08.260
  • First of all,
  • 00:21:08.260 --> 00:21:09.140
  • we acknowledge our own part.
  • 00:21:09.140 --> 00:21:11.130
  • Sometimes we are so quick
  • 00:21:11.130 --> 00:21:13.060
  • to see the ways
  • 00:21:13.060 --> 00:21:13.270
  • we've been offended
  • 00:21:13.270 --> 00:21:14.240
  • and we miss the ways
  • 00:21:14.240 --> 00:21:15.150
  • that we've offended.
  • 00:21:15.150 --> 00:21:16.170
  • So we open our hearts to You
  • 00:21:16.170 --> 00:21:17.210
  • and we thank You for grace
  • 00:21:17.210 --> 00:21:18.230
  • and we thank You for mercy.
  • 00:21:18.230 --> 00:21:20.130
  • And we lift our hands
  • 00:21:20.130 --> 00:21:21.140
  • in Your presence
  • 00:21:21.140 --> 00:21:22.020
  • because we want to be free.
  • 00:21:22.080 --> 00:21:25.080
  • We lift our hands
  • 00:21:25.080 --> 00:21:25.260
  • in Your presence
  • 00:21:25.260 --> 00:21:26.240
  • because we don't want
  • 00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:27.240
  • to withhold anything
  • 00:21:27.240 --> 00:21:29.040
  • and we want to be right,
  • 00:21:29.040 --> 00:21:30.120
  • and so we offer
  • 00:21:30.120 --> 00:21:31.020
  • our gift on the altar.
  • 00:21:31.020 --> 00:21:32.150
  • But God, we ask,
  • 00:21:32.150 --> 00:21:33.090
  • would You do a work in us?
  • 00:21:33.090 --> 00:21:35.220
  • Some of us have some stuff
  • 00:21:35.220 --> 00:21:36.220
  • happening back at home
  • 00:21:36.220 --> 00:21:38.000
  • and in our hearts
  • 00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:38.180
  • and in our relationships
  • 00:21:38.180 --> 00:21:41.000
  • that is killing our joy
  • 00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:42.110
  • and killing our peace.
  • 00:21:42.110 --> 00:21:44.100
  • So we've come
  • 00:21:44.100 --> 00:21:44.260
  • into Your presence today,
  • 00:21:44.260 --> 00:21:46.100
  • not just to sing a song
  • 00:21:46.100 --> 00:21:47.080
  • or to hear a sermon,
  • 00:21:47.080 --> 00:21:48.290
  • but to be changed at our core,
  • 00:21:48.290 --> 00:21:51.120
  • to be changed.
  • 00:21:51.120 --> 00:21:53.120
  • And we've got some things
  • 00:21:53.120 --> 00:21:54.050
  • we need to drop.
  • 00:21:54.050 --> 00:21:56.080
  • With your hands
  • 00:21:56.080 --> 00:21:56.210
  • still lifted in the air,
  • 00:21:56.210 --> 00:21:59.060
  • I want you to ask God
  • 00:21:59.060 --> 00:22:00.040
  • in your heart,
  • 00:22:00.040 --> 00:22:00.250
  • "Is there anything
  • 00:22:00.250 --> 00:22:01.120
  • I need to drop?
  • 00:22:01.120 --> 00:22:03.050
  • Is there something
  • 00:22:03.050 --> 00:22:03.260
  • I need to drop?
  • 00:22:03.260 --> 00:22:06.150
  • Is it a decision
  • 00:22:06.150 --> 00:22:07.080
  • I need to make in my heart
  • 00:22:07.080 --> 00:22:08.080
  • to never bring it up again?
  • 00:22:08.080 --> 00:22:10.000
  • Is it a conversation
  • 00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:10.200
  • I need to have to work through?
  • 00:22:10.200 --> 00:22:12.010
  • What do I need to drop?"
  • 00:22:13.040 --> 00:22:16.040
  • Keep your hands lifted.
  • 00:22:17.260 --> 00:22:20.260
  • You feel how the blood
  • 00:22:20.260 --> 00:22:23.080
  • is flowing out of your fingers
  • 00:22:23.080 --> 00:22:24.160
  • and your hands?
  • 00:22:24.170 --> 00:22:27.170
  • That's what it feels like
  • 00:22:27.170 --> 00:22:28.120
  • when you hold on to stuff,
  • 00:22:28.120 --> 00:22:30.250
  • when you hold on to offenses,
  • 00:22:30.250 --> 00:22:33.030
  • when you hold on
  • 00:22:33.030 --> 00:22:33.210
  • to what happened years ago.
  • 00:22:33.240 --> 00:22:36.240
  • But if you would drop it,
  • 00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:38.270
  • drop it --
  • 00:22:38.270 --> 00:22:41.120
  • You feel that?
  • 00:22:41.120 --> 00:22:43.080
  • You feel that come
  • 00:22:43.080 --> 00:22:44.000
  • all over your body
  • 00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:46.040
  • when you finally decided
  • 00:22:46.040 --> 00:22:47.090
  • to drop it?
  • 00:22:47.090 --> 00:22:49.100
  • I declare that God is going
  • 00:22:49.100 --> 00:22:50.240
  • to set some captives free today,
  • 00:22:51.280 --> 00:22:54.280
  • that you are no longer
  • 00:22:54.280 --> 00:22:56.000
  • going to be divided,
  • 00:22:56.000 --> 00:22:58.200
  • dying behind offenses,
  • 00:22:58.200 --> 00:23:00.260
  • isolated behind offenses.
  • 00:23:03.060 --> 00:23:06.060
  • And in the name of Jesus,
  • 00:23:06.060 --> 00:23:08.140
  • I declare release
  • 00:23:08.140 --> 00:23:09.230
  • to the prisoners.
  • 00:23:10.270 --> 00:23:13.270
  • I pray that this message
  • 00:23:13.270 --> 00:23:15.080
  • would stay with you,
  • 00:23:15.080 --> 00:23:17.280
  • that it would haunt you,
  • 00:23:18.050 --> 00:23:21.050
  • that you would see
  • 00:23:21.050 --> 00:23:22.090
  • Dan and Stephanie
  • 00:23:22.090 --> 00:23:23.100
  • dropping those planks
  • 00:23:23.100 --> 00:23:25.040
  • on the stage until you come out
  • 00:23:25.050 --> 00:23:28.050
  • from behind every offense
  • 00:23:28.050 --> 00:23:30.080
  • - I will never forget
  • 00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:33.280
  • when God spoke to my heart,
  • 00:23:33.280 --> 00:23:35.260
  • "The reason it's so hard
  • 00:23:35.260 --> 00:23:37.010
  • for you to stay happy
  • 00:23:37.010 --> 00:23:39.000
  • is because it's so easy
  • 00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:40.090
  • for you to get offended."
  • 00:23:40.090 --> 00:23:41.100
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:23:41.100 --> 00:23:41.290
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:23:41.290 --> 00:23:42.150
  • I mean, offense
  • 00:23:42.150 --> 00:23:43.260
  • really is that dividing wall
  • 00:23:43.260 --> 00:23:46.110
  • between us and God,
  • 00:23:46.110 --> 00:23:48.000
  • between us and others,
  • 00:23:48.000 --> 00:23:49.060
  • between us and joy,
  • 00:23:49.060 --> 00:23:50.110
  • between us and peace.
  • 00:23:50.110 --> 00:23:52.030
  • And I believe God
  • 00:23:52.030 --> 00:23:52.290
  • wants you to learn
  • 00:23:52.290 --> 00:23:54.010
  • to drop some things today.
  • 00:23:54.010 --> 00:23:56.070
  • I don't think
  • 00:23:56.070 --> 00:23:56.240
  • I've ever gotten
  • 00:23:56.240 --> 00:23:57.250
  • more feedback from a message
  • 00:23:57.250 --> 00:23:59.140
  • than this one,
  • 00:23:59.140 --> 00:24:00.130
  • and all the messages
  • 00:24:00.130 --> 00:24:01.040
  • in the "Other Half" series.
  • 00:24:01.040 --> 00:24:02.240
  • And I know it's not just me
  • 00:24:02.240 --> 00:24:04.120
  • and it's not just our church
  • 00:24:04.120 --> 00:24:05.120
  • that God gave this message to.
  • 00:24:05.120 --> 00:24:06.280
  • I believe this is a word
  • 00:24:06.280 --> 00:24:08.020
  • for you today.
  • 00:24:08.020 --> 00:24:09.030
  • - Yeah, this message helped me
  • 00:24:09.030 --> 00:24:10.070
  • see that, you know,
  • 00:24:10.070 --> 00:24:11.090
  • sometimes it's easier
  • 00:24:11.090 --> 00:24:12.270
  • to hold on to things
  • 00:24:12.270 --> 00:24:14.130
  • against others or against God
  • 00:24:14.130 --> 00:24:16.160
  • and even things against myself,
  • 00:24:16.160 --> 00:24:18.180
  • but it's not healthy
  • 00:24:18.180 --> 00:24:20.050
  • and it's never going to lead me
  • 00:24:20.050 --> 00:24:21.170
  • to victory.
  • 00:24:21.170 --> 00:24:22.060
  • - Never.
  • 00:24:22.060 --> 00:24:22.280
  • I mean, it's going
  • 00:24:22.280 --> 00:24:23.170
  • to keep you,
  • 00:24:23.170 --> 00:24:24.000
  • as a matter of fact, imprisoned.
  • 00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:26.040
  • The prison of offense.
  • 00:24:26.040 --> 00:24:28.030
  • But you don't have
  • 00:24:28.030 --> 00:24:28.250
  • to stay there.
  • 00:24:28.250 --> 00:24:29.160
  • God has given us keys
  • 00:24:29.160 --> 00:24:31.060
  • in His word.
  • 00:24:31.060 --> 00:24:32.120
  • And it's up to us
  • 00:24:32.120 --> 00:24:33.090
  • to experience freedom.
  • 00:24:34.200 --> 00:24:35.270
  • So there's an action
  • 00:24:35.270 --> 00:24:36.260
  • I want you to take right now.
  • 00:24:36.260 --> 00:24:38.220
  • Could be the first step
  • 00:24:38.220 --> 00:24:40.010
  • in you being free,
  • 00:24:40.010 --> 00:24:41.060
  • having the relationships
  • 00:24:41.060 --> 00:24:42.230
  • that God wants you to have,
  • 00:24:42.230 --> 00:24:44.030
  • the relationships that, frankly,
  • 00:24:44.030 --> 00:24:45.280
  • you've been longing for
  • 00:24:45.280 --> 00:24:46.280
  • your whole life;
  • 00:24:46.280 --> 00:24:47.280
  • to see God repair
  • 00:24:47.280 --> 00:24:49.000
  • what may feel broken.
  • 00:24:49.000 --> 00:24:50.170
  • This could be the beginning
  • 00:24:50.170 --> 00:24:51.250
  • of reconciliation,
  • 00:24:51.250 --> 00:24:53.060
  • the beginning of love,
  • 00:24:53.060 --> 00:24:55.120
  • the beginning of true harmony
  • 00:24:55.120 --> 00:24:56.270
  • in your home, in your workplace.
  • 00:24:56.270 --> 00:24:59.030
  • I want you to call today
  • 00:24:59.030 --> 00:25:00.280
  • or go online and with your gift
  • 00:25:00.280 --> 00:25:02.210
  • of any amount,
  • 00:25:02.210 --> 00:25:03.230
  • you'll receive this
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  • special series that we call
  • 00:25:04.280 --> 00:25:06.140
  • "The Other Half".
  • 00:25:06.140 --> 00:25:07.280
  • Every message in the series
  • 00:25:07.280 --> 00:25:09.090
  • is almost a series in itself.
  • 00:25:09.090 --> 00:25:11.210
  • You're really got to experience
  • 00:25:11.210 --> 00:25:12.280
  • this teaching.
  • 00:25:12.280 --> 00:25:13.230
  • It's a four part series on DVD.
  • 00:25:13.230 --> 00:25:16.000
  • And here are more details
  • 00:25:16.000 --> 00:25:18.000
  • - ANNOUNCER: Have you ever
  • 00:25:21.050 --> 00:25:21.270
  • stopped to think about
  • 00:25:21.270 --> 00:25:22.240
  • how many people you connect with
  • 00:25:22.240 --> 00:25:24.090
  • on a daily basis?
  • 00:25:24.090 --> 00:25:26.180
  • Your spouse,
  • 00:25:26.180 --> 00:25:28.130
  • your kids,
  • 00:25:28.130 --> 00:25:30.060
  • the barista,
  • 00:25:30.060 --> 00:25:32.040
  • coworkers,
  • 00:25:32.040 --> 00:25:34.000
  • neighbors,
  • 00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:35.170
  • the clerk at the grocery store,
  • 00:25:35.170 --> 00:25:38.000
  • an old friend.
  • 00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:39.220
  • The list goes on and on.
  • 00:25:39.220 --> 00:25:41.180
  • Relationships are
  • 00:25:41.180 --> 00:25:42.100
  • an integral part of our lives,
  • 00:25:42.100 --> 00:25:44.110
  • but they're not all
  • 00:25:44.110 --> 00:25:45.050
  • so easy to maintain.
  • 00:25:45.050 --> 00:25:47.040
  • Today's resource,
  • 00:25:47.040 --> 00:25:47.270
  • "The Other Half," will give you
  • 00:25:47.270 --> 00:25:49.150
  • the important tools you need
  • 00:25:49.150 --> 00:25:50.250
  • to build healthier relationships
  • 00:25:50.250 --> 00:25:52.140
  • with the people in your life
  • 00:25:52.140 --> 00:25:53.280
  • and with God.
  • 00:25:53.280 --> 00:25:55.220
  • This brand new four part series
  • 00:25:55.220 --> 00:25:57.100
  • from Pastor Steven Furtick
  • 00:25:57.100 --> 00:25:58.230
  • will guide you through
  • 00:25:58.230 --> 00:25:59.220
  • practical ways to change
  • 00:25:59.220 --> 00:26:01.040
  • your focus and relationships
  • 00:26:01.040 --> 00:26:02.140
  • to help you see
  • 00:26:02.140 --> 00:26:03.150
  • what matters most.
  • 00:26:03.150 --> 00:26:05.110
  • You'll even learn
  • 00:26:05.110 --> 00:26:06.020
  • how to release offenses
  • 00:26:06.020 --> 00:26:07.040
  • that are preventing
  • 00:26:07.040 --> 00:26:07.290
  • your relationships
  • 00:26:07.290 --> 00:26:08.280
  • from reaching
  • 00:26:08.280 --> 00:26:09.180
  • their full potential.
  • 00:26:09.180 --> 00:26:11.070
  • - The enemy wants you
  • 00:26:11.070 --> 00:26:12.010
  • to drive it down deep.
  • 00:26:12.010 --> 00:26:13.200
  • You know, he wants you
  • 00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:14.120
  • to think about it
  • 00:26:14.120 --> 00:26:15.230
  • and miss all the reasons
  • 00:26:15.230 --> 00:26:17.060
  • that the person has worked
  • 00:26:17.060 --> 00:26:19.150
  • their way into your life
  • 00:26:19.150 --> 00:26:20.120
  • and miss all the things
  • 00:26:20.120 --> 00:26:21.080
  • they've done for you.
  • 00:26:21.080 --> 00:26:22.100
  • And he wants to drive it.
  • 00:26:22.100 --> 00:26:23.180
  • But God says, "Drop it."
  • 00:26:23.290 --> 00:26:26.290
  • - It also includes
  • 00:26:26.290 --> 00:26:28.000
  • a bonus message
  • 00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:28.230
  • from Pastor Steven's wife,
  • 00:26:28.230 --> 00:26:30.040
  • Holly.
  • 00:26:30.040 --> 00:26:30.250
  • - All along,
  • 00:26:30.250 --> 00:26:31.250
  • I've been wanting the people
  • 00:26:31.250 --> 00:26:33.280
  • in my life to give back to me,
  • 00:26:33.280 --> 00:26:36.000
  • you know.
  • 00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:36.180
  • I'm doing this for you;
  • 00:26:36.180 --> 00:26:37.190
  • won't you reciprocate
  • 00:26:37.190 --> 00:26:38.270
  • and do something for me?"
  • 00:26:38.270 --> 00:26:40.220
  • But what I found in my life
  • 00:26:40.220 --> 00:26:42.150
  • is that true fulfillment
  • 00:26:42.150 --> 00:26:44.010
  • doesn't come from
  • 00:26:44.010 --> 00:26:44.290
  • my relationship with others.
  • 00:26:44.290 --> 00:26:46.180
  • It comes from my relationship
  • 00:26:46.180 --> 00:26:47.240
  • with God.
  • 00:26:47.240 --> 00:26:49.030
  • - And an exclusive interview
  • 00:26:49.030 --> 00:26:50.040
  • with best-selling author
  • 00:26:50.040 --> 00:26:51.060
  • Donald Miller.
  • 00:26:51.060 --> 00:26:52.290
  • This resource is available today
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  • for your gift of any amount.
  • 00:26:54.160 --> 00:26:56.230
  • If you want to dive even further
  • 00:26:56.230 --> 00:26:58.020
  • into this teaching,
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  • request "The Other Half
  • 00:26:59.130 --> 00:27:01.000
  • Relationship Pack"
  • 00:27:01.000 --> 00:27:01.200
  • for your gift of $110 or more.
  • 00:27:01.230 --> 00:27:04.230
  • It includes two additional
  • 00:27:04.230 --> 00:27:06.060
  • relationship series
  • 00:27:06.060 --> 00:27:07.000
  • full of sermons that will help
  • 00:27:07.000 --> 00:27:08.150
  • you continue to enhance
  • 00:27:08.150 --> 00:27:09.210
  • your relationships God's way
  • 00:27:09.210 --> 00:27:11.210
  • and a journal for you to reflect
  • 00:27:11.210 --> 00:27:13.030
  • on all you are learning.
  • 00:27:13.030 --> 00:27:14.200
  • Simply call the number
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  • on your screen or visit
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  • stevenfurtick.com today
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  • to experience relationships
  • 00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:20.230
  • the way God desires you to.
  • 00:27:20.230 --> 00:27:22.290