Relationship Refresh | TBN

Relationship Refresh

Watch Relationship Refresh
February 12, 2021
51:59

Covid has put a lot of extra stress on couples. Viewers will gain practical strategies from several top Christian marriage counselors on ways to refresh and strengthen their marriage and family in 2021.

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Relationship Refresh

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  • [ MUSIC ]
  • 00:01:29.622 --> 00:00:00.924
  • ♪ IT FEELS SO GOOD WHENI'M AROUND YOU...
  • 00:00:00.924 --> 00:00:05.061
  • ♪ NEVER FELT THISWAY BEFORE...
  • 00:00:05.061 --> 00:00:07.464
  • ♪ IT FEELS SO NICE THAT WECAN GET THROUGH...
  • 00:00:07.464 --> 00:00:11.668
  • ♪ EVERYTHING...
  • 00:00:11.668 --> 00:00:14.971
  • - ONE LIFETIME ISN'TLONG ENOUGH TO GET TO
  • 00:00:14.971 --> 00:00:16.739
  • KNOW HER BECAUSE SHE'SCONSTANTLY CHANGING.
  • 00:00:16.739 --> 00:00:19.142
  • - HE'S CHANGINGALL THE TIME.
  • 00:00:19.142 --> 00:00:20.076
  • HOW EXCITING.
  • 00:00:20.076 --> 00:00:21.344
  • - WE'VE SET THIS TIMEASIDE TO BE WITH ONE
  • 00:00:21.344 --> 00:00:23.746
  • ANOTHER, TO CONNECT.
  • 00:00:23.746 --> 00:00:25.482
  • THE POINT TO GLEANIS PRIORITIZATION.
  • 00:00:25.482 --> 00:00:27.684
  • - WE TRY TO GIVE THEOTHER THE BENEFIT OF THE
  • 00:00:27.684 --> 00:00:29.119
  • DOUBT BECAUSE IF WEDON'T, THAT CRAZY CYCLE
  • 00:00:29.119 --> 00:00:31.421
  • SPINS SEVERAL DAYS.
  • 00:00:31.421 --> 00:00:33.957
  • ♪ AFTER ALL THAT'SSAID AND DONE...
  • 00:00:33.957 --> 00:00:40.296
  • ♪ I LIKE WHERE WEHAVE COME...
  • 00:00:40.296 --> 00:00:51.341
  • - DR. PARROTT: HEY EVERYBODY,THIS IS DOCTORS LES AND LESLIE
  • 00:00:51.441 --> 00:00:54.410
  • PARROTT, AND WELCOME TORELATIONSHIP REFRESH.
  • 00:00:54.410 --> 00:00:57.313
  • - DR. LESLIE PARROTT: YEAH.
  • 00:00:57.313 --> 00:00:58.214
  • AND WHAT A WELCOMETHOUGHT, REFRESH.
  • 00:00:58.214 --> 00:01:00.016
  • HAVE WE EVER NEEDED ARELATIONSHIP REFRESH MORE
  • 00:01:00.016 --> 00:01:03.052
  • THAN THE KIND OF SEASONWE'VE JUST COME THROUGH?
  • 00:01:03.052 --> 00:01:05.188
  • - SPECIALLY WHEN WE'RETALKING ABOUT REFRESHING
  • 00:01:05.188 --> 00:01:06.823
  • OUR LOVE LIFE,OUR MARRIAGE.
  • 00:01:06.823 --> 00:01:08.625
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:01:08.625 --> 00:01:10.693
  • THIS CAN BE KIND OFDAUNTING AFTER EVERYTHING
  • 00:01:09.626 --> 00:01:11.694
  • WE'VE BEEN THROUGH.
  • 00:01:11.694 --> 00:01:12.629
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:01:12.629 --> 00:01:13.696
  • - WE'RE STILL NOT OUT OFTHE WOODS, AND WE NEED
  • 00:01:13.696 --> 00:01:15.698
  • SOME HELP, RIGHT?
  • 00:01:15.698 --> 00:01:16.833
  • - WE DEFINITELY NEEDHELP, AND IT'S SO
  • 00:01:16.833 --> 00:01:19.269
  • INVITING TO GET THE TOOLSYOU NEED TO REALLY BOOST
  • 00:01:19.269 --> 00:01:22.605
  • YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
  • 00:01:22.605 --> 00:01:23.706
  • - WELL, WE'VE GOT SOMEGREAT GUESTS THAT WE'RE
  • 00:01:23.706 --> 00:01:25.441
  • GOING TO INTRODUCE YOUTO IN JUST A MOMENT THAT
  • 00:01:25.441 --> 00:01:27.443
  • HAVE SOME PEARLSOF WISDOM.
  • 00:01:27.443 --> 00:01:28.645
  • - YES, THEY DO.
  • 00:01:28.645 --> 00:01:30.046
  • - TRULY TO HELP US--- MAYBE EVEN DIAMONDS.
  • 00:01:30.046 --> 00:01:31.548
  • [ LAUGHTER ]
  • 00:01:31.548 --> 00:01:32.582
  • - I GOTTA JUST ADMITRIGHT UP FRONT, AS A
  • 00:01:32.582 --> 00:01:35.218
  • PSYCHOLOGIST, LESLIE ISA MARRIAGE AND FAMILY
  • 00:01:35.218 --> 00:01:36.986
  • THERAPIST, BUT WE'VEALWAYS SAID WE'RE NOT
  • 00:01:36.986 --> 00:01:38.821
  • PILGRIMS, NOTPROCLAIMERS.
  • 00:01:38.821 --> 00:01:40.990
  • - THAT'S RIGHT BECAUSEWE'RE LIVING THIS THING.
  • 00:01:40.990 --> 00:01:43.593
  • - YES.
  • 00:01:43.593 --> 00:01:45.461
  • - WE'RE IN THE MARRIAGE.
  • 00:01:45.461 --> 00:01:46.563
  • WE'RE NOT THEPERFECT COUPLE.
  • 00:01:46.563 --> 00:01:47.597
  • - WE'RE GOING TO BEREFRESHED RIGHT ALONG
  • 00:01:47.597 --> 00:01:48.298
  • WITH EVERYBODY ELSE.
  • 00:01:48.298 --> 00:01:49.098
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:01:49.098 --> 00:01:50.200
  • - THE VERY FIRST LINE OFOUR BOOK, OUR FIRST BOOK
  • 00:01:50.200 --> 00:01:51.501
  • SAVING YOUR MARRIAGEBEFORE IT STARTS, SAYS WE
  • 00:01:51.501 --> 00:01:54.737
  • NEVER HAD PRE MARRIAGECOUNSELING BUT WE SPENT
  • 00:01:54.737 --> 00:01:57.307
  • THE FIRST YEAR OF OURMARRIAGE IN THERAPY.
  • 00:01:57.307 --> 00:01:59.776
  • - TRUE CONFESSIONS.
  • 00:01:59.776 --> 00:02:00.777
  • YEAH.
  • 00:02:00.777 --> 00:02:01.778
  • - AND THAT IS THE TRUTH.
  • 00:02:01.778 --> 00:02:02.679
  • - YES, IT IS.
  • 00:02:02.679 --> 00:02:03.813
  • - AND WE'VE BEEN WORKINGON IT EVER SINCE.
  • 00:02:03.813 --> 00:02:05.215
  • - YEAH, WE HAVE 36 YEARS NOW,AND IT'S BEEN AN AMAZING
  • 00:02:05.215 --> 00:02:08.551
  • 36 YEARS BUT IT HASN'TALWAYS BEEN SMOOTH LIKE
  • 00:02:08.551 --> 00:02:11.454
  • THAT FIRST YEAR.
  • 00:02:11.454 --> 00:02:12.388
  • - NO. AND 2 BOYS.
  • 00:02:12.388 --> 00:02:14.023
  • - TWO BOYS NOW THAT AREA BEAUTIFUL PART OF OUR
  • 00:02:14.023 --> 00:02:15.959
  • FAMILY, BUT OURSTORY IS JUST ONE.
  • 00:02:15.959 --> 00:02:18.461
  • YOUR STORY IS THERE, TOO.
  • 00:02:18.461 --> 00:02:20.263
  • - HEY, AS WE GET INTOTHIS I WANT TO KIND OF
  • 00:02:20.263 --> 00:02:22.699
  • PASS ALONG A LITTLETHOUGHT, AND I HAVE A
  • 00:02:22.699 --> 00:02:24.767
  • LITTLE OBJECTLESSON HERE.
  • 00:02:24.767 --> 00:02:26.135
  • THIS IS A TOY WE BOUGHTOUR BOYS LONG AGO.
  • 00:02:26.135 --> 00:02:29.539
  • IT'S CALLED AHOBERMAN'S SPHERE.
  • 00:02:29.539 --> 00:02:31.507
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:02:31.507 --> 00:02:32.575
  • - AND THE GUY THATINVENTED IT NAMED HOBERMAN.
  • 00:02:32.575 --> 00:02:34.277
  • - YEAH, THE SCIENTIST.
  • 00:02:34.277 --> 00:02:35.478
  • - AND HE WAS FASCINATINGBY HINGES, AND THERE'S
  • 00:02:35.478 --> 00:02:38.514
  • HUNDREDS OF HINGESALL OVER THIS.
  • 00:02:38.514 --> 00:02:40.450
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:02:40.450 --> 00:02:41.517
  • - AND AS WE GO INTO THISPROGRAM, RELATIONSHIP
  • 00:02:41.517 --> 00:02:43.286
  • REFRESH, I WANT YOUTO THINK ABOUT HOW EACH
  • 00:02:43.286 --> 00:02:46.289
  • OF THESE HINGES MIGHTREPRESENT SOMETHING IN
  • 00:02:46.289 --> 00:02:48.157
  • YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
  • 00:02:48.157 --> 00:02:49.225
  • MAYBE IT'S HOW TOIMPROVE COMMUNICATION.
  • 00:02:49.225 --> 00:02:50.960
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:02:50.960 --> 00:02:52.161
  • IT COULD BE A MOMENTYOU SHARE WHERE YOU'RE
  • 00:02:52.161 --> 00:02:53.963
  • LAUGHING TOGETHER.
  • 00:02:53.963 --> 00:02:54.931
  • COULD BE A TIME WHEN YOUCAN REFRESH WITH
  • 00:02:54.931 --> 00:02:56.933
  • DREAMING TOGETHER.
  • 00:02:56.933 --> 00:02:58.334
  • - MAYBE RESOLVINGCONFLICT, FINDING GOD'S
  • 00:02:58.334 --> 00:03:00.570
  • WILL TOGETHER.
  • 00:03:00.570 --> 00:03:01.471
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:03:01.471 --> 00:03:02.372
  • - MANAGING MONEY, TIME.
  • 00:03:02.372 --> 00:03:03.906
  • ALL THESE DIFFERENTTHINGS, AND THE MORE WE
  • 00:03:03.906 --> 00:03:05.608
  • WORK ON THOSE, THE EASIERIT IS FOR THESE HINGES TO
  • 00:03:05.608 --> 00:03:09.545
  • WORK RIGHT.
  • 00:03:09.545 --> 00:03:10.413
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:03:10.413 --> 00:03:11.481
  • - SO MUCH SO THAT THEMORE YOU WORK ON THE
  • 00:03:11.481 --> 00:03:12.982
  • THINGS THAT WE'RE ABOUTTO EXPLORE IN THIS TIME
  • 00:03:12.982 --> 00:03:14.851
  • TOGETHER, IT CAN EXPANDTHAT RELATIONSHIP.
  • 00:03:14.851 --> 00:03:18.421
  • - AND YOU GET THE WOW.
  • 00:03:18.421 --> 00:03:19.522
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:03:19.522 --> 00:03:21.024
  • AND YOU GO WOW, LOOK WHATWE'RE DOING TOGETHER, RIGHT.
  • 00:03:21.024 --> 00:03:22.892
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:03:22.892 --> 00:03:24.027
  • AND WHEN WE DON'T WORK ONTHEM, THROUGH EXHAUSTION
  • 00:03:24.027 --> 00:03:26.329
  • AND TIME, IT CONTRACTS.
  • 00:03:26.329 --> 00:03:27.730
  • - EXACTLY.
  • 00:03:27.730 --> 00:03:28.698
  • SO OUR PRAYER FORYOU IN THIS PROGRAM,
  • 00:03:28.698 --> 00:03:30.633
  • RELATIONSHIP REFRESH, ISTHAT YOU WOULD FIND THOSE
  • 00:03:30.633 --> 00:03:33.569
  • LITTLE HINGES THAT YOUNEED PARTICULAR HELP IN.
  • 00:03:33.569 --> 00:03:36.773
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:03:36.773 --> 00:03:37.874
  • - AND WE WANT TO DELIVERTHAT THROUGH THE GUESTS
  • 00:03:37.874 --> 00:03:38.941
  • WE HAVE ON BOARD SOWELCOME TO
  • 00:03:38.941 --> 00:03:41.010
  • RELATIONSHIP REFRESH.
  • 00:03:41.010 --> 00:03:45.048
  • ♪ I NEED THE KINDALOVE THAT...
  • 00:03:45.048 --> 00:03:47.050
  • ♪ CAN OUTLAST THENIGHT...
  • 00:03:47.050 --> 00:03:53.022
  • ♪ I NEED THE KINDA LOVETHAT IS WILLING TO FIGHT ...
  • 00:03:53.022 --> 00:04:00.930
  • ♪ WHEN THE GOINGGETS TOUGH...
  • 00:04:00.930 --> 00:04:03.366
  • ♪ AND MY STRENGTH'SNOT ENOUGH...
  • 00:04:03.366 --> 00:04:05.034
  • ♪ I SEE YOU SHOWING UPLIKE NEVER BEFORE...
  • 00:04:05.034 --> 00:04:09.572
  • ♪ THIS BATTLE FORMY HEART...
  • 00:04:09.572 --> 00:04:12.141
  • ♪ YOU TOOK ON FROMTHE START...
  • 00:04:12.141 --> 00:04:14.310
  • ♪ YOU ARE THE PEACE WHENMY MIND'S AT WAR...
  • 00:04:14.310 --> 00:04:19.582
  • ♪ AND O-OHH...
  • 00:04:19.582 --> 00:04:21.884
  • ♪ YOU WILL NEVER STOPFIGHTING FOR ME...
  • 00:04:21.884 --> 00:04:25.888
  • ♪ WHEN I CAN'T FIGHTFOR MYSELF...
  • 00:04:25.888 --> 00:04:29.992
  • ♪ EVERY WORD IS A PROMISEYOU KEEP...
  • 00:04:29.992 --> 00:04:34.564
  • ♪ 'CAUSE YOU LOVE ME LIKENOBODY ELSE...
  • 00:04:34.564 --> 00:04:38.134
  • ♪ YOU STAND UPFOR ME...
  • 00:04:38.134 --> 00:04:39.836
  • ♪ IN THE DARKESTNIGHT...
  • 00:04:39.836 --> 00:04:42.004
  • ♪ WHEN MY FAITHIS WEAK...
  • 00:04:42.004 --> 00:04:44.140
  • ♪ YOU'RE STILL BYMY SIDE...
  • 00:04:44.140 --> 00:04:47.477
  • ♪ YOU WILL NEVER STOPFIGHTING FOR ME...
  • 00:04:47.477 --> 00:04:51.247
  • ♪ YEAH, YEAH ...
  • 00:04:51.247 --> 00:04:55.218
  • ♪ IN THE PERFECTTIMING...
  • 00:04:55.218 --> 00:04:57.253
  • ♪ YOU MAKE ALLTHINGS RIGHT...
  • 00:04:57.253 --> 00:05:03.526
  • ♪ YOU PAINT A SILVERLINING...
  • 00:05:03.526 --> 00:05:06.629
  • ♪ IN THIS HEARTOF MINE...
  • 00:05:06.629 --> 00:05:11.401
  • ♪ WHEN THE GOINGGETS TOUGH...
  • 00:05:11.401 --> 00:05:12.969
  • ♪ AND MY STRENGTH'SNOT ENOUGH...
  • 00:05:12.969 --> 00:05:14.804
  • ♪ I SEE YOU SHOWING UPLIKE NEVER BEFORE...
  • 00:05:14.804 --> 00:05:19.142
  • ♪ THIS BATTLE FORMY HEART...
  • 00:05:19.142 --> 00:05:21.277
  • ♪ YOU TOOK ON FROMTHE START...
  • 00:05:21.277 --> 00:05:23.713
  • ♪ YOU ARE THE PEACE WHENMY MIND'S AT WAR...
  • 00:05:23.713 --> 00:05:28.050
  • ♪ AND O-OHH...
  • 00:05:28.050 --> 00:05:30.787
  • ♪ YOU WILL NEVER STOPFIGHTING FOR ME...
  • 00:05:30.787 --> 00:05:35.024
  • ♪ WHEN I CAN'T FIGHTFOR MYSELF...
  • 00:05:35.024 --> 00:05:39.362
  • ♪ EVERY WORD IS A PROMISEYOU KEEP...
  • 00:05:39.362 --> 00:05:43.533
  • ♪ 'CAUSE YOU LOVE ME LIKENOBODY ELSE...
  • 00:05:43.533 --> 00:05:47.136
  • ♪ YOU STAND UPFOR ME...
  • 00:05:47.136 --> 00:05:49.071
  • ♪ IN THE DARKESTNIGHT...
  • 00:05:49.071 --> 00:05:51.007
  • ♪ WHEN MY FAITHIS WEAK...
  • 00:05:51.007 --> 00:05:53.276
  • ♪ YOU'RE STILL BYMY SIDE...
  • 00:05:53.276 --> 00:05:56.646
  • ♪ YOU WILL NEVER STOPFIGHTING FOR ME...
  • 00:05:56.646 --> 00:06:04.454
  • ♪ YOUR LOVE...
  • 00:06:01.250 --> 00:06:06.823
  • ♪ IS WINNING ME OVER...
  • 00:06:06.823 --> 00:06:08.825
  • ♪ YOUR HEART...
  • 00:06:08.825 --> 00:06:10.960
  • ♪ IS PULLING MECLOSER...
  • 00:06:10.960 --> 00:06:13.062
  • ♪ YOUR LOVE...
  • 00:06:13.062 --> 00:06:15.198
  • ♪ IS WINNING ME OVER...
  • 00:06:15.198 --> 00:06:17.433
  • ♪ YOUR HEART...
  • 00:06:17.433 --> 00:06:19.469
  • ♪ IS PULLING MECLOSER...
  • 00:06:19.469 --> 00:06:23.072
  • ♪ YOU WILL NEVERSTOP...
  • 00:06:23.072 --> 00:06:27.610
  • ♪ FIGHTING FOR ME,FIGHTING FOR ME...
  • 00:06:27.610 --> 00:06:32.181
  • ♪ EVERY WORD IS A PROMISEYOU KEEP...
  • 00:06:32.181 --> 00:06:36.185
  • ♪ OH, O-OHH...
  • 00:06:36.185 --> 00:06:49.198
  • ♪ EVERY WORD IS A PROMISEYOU KEEP...
  • 00:06:49.198 --> 00:06:53.302
  • ♪ 'CAUSE YOU LOVE ME LIKENOBODY ELSE...
  • 00:06:53.302 --> 00:06:57.440
  • ♪ YOU STAND UPFOR ME...
  • 00:06:57.440 --> 00:06:59.442
  • ♪ IN THE DARKNESS...
  • 00:06:59.442 --> 00:07:01.677
  • ♪ YEAH, YOU'RE BYMY SIDE...
  • 00:07:01.677 --> 00:07:06.282
  • ♪ YOU WILL NEVERSTOP...
  • 00:07:06.282 --> 00:07:10.386
  • ♪ YOU WILL NEVER STOPFIGHTING FOR ME...
  • 00:07:10.386 --> 00:07:17.527
  • - WELL, WE HAVE,GREG AND ERIN SMALLEY, SO
  • 00:07:18.427 --> 00:07:21.597
  • GOOD TO HAVE YOU JOIN US HERE.
  • 00:07:21.597 --> 00:07:23.065
  • - THANK YOU.
  • 00:07:23.065 --> 00:07:24.600
  • - AND YOU GUYS ARE ATFOCUS ON THE FAMILY.
  • 00:07:24.600 --> 00:07:26.602
  • VICE PRESIDENT OFMARRIAGE AND FAMILY
  • 00:07:26.602 --> 00:07:29.472
  • AT FOCUS.
  • 00:07:29.472 --> 00:07:30.439
  • HOW MANY YEARS YOUBEEN THERE NOW?
  • 00:07:30.439 --> 00:07:31.340
  • - ALMOST TEN.
  • 00:07:31.340 --> 00:07:32.141
  • - TEN YEARS.
  • 00:07:32.141 --> 00:07:33.075
  • - A DECADE.
  • 00:07:33.075 --> 00:07:34.110
  • - I CAN REMEMBERWHEN YOU STARTED.
  • 00:07:34.110 --> 00:07:35.177
  • IT'S INCREDIBLE.
  • 00:07:35.177 --> 00:07:36.245
  • - WE LOVE IT.
  • 00:07:36.245 --> 00:07:37.480
  • - WE DO.
  • 00:07:37.480 --> 00:07:38.347
  • - I KNOW YOU DO.
  • 00:07:38.347 --> 00:07:39.448
  • AND ERIN, YOU'RE BUSYWRITING, YOU'RE SPEAKING.
  • 00:07:39.448 --> 00:07:42.018
  • YOU GUYS SPEAK TOGETHER.
  • 00:07:42.018 --> 00:07:43.152
  • - AND YOU HAVEA PRACTICE.
  • 00:07:43.152 --> 00:07:44.720
  • - YES, A PRIVATEPRACTICE.
  • 00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:45.788
  • - SHE TAKESCARE OF ME MAINLY.
  • 00:07:45.788 --> 00:07:47.857
  • - HE IS YOUR PRIVATEPRACTICE, IS THAT WHAT
  • 00:07:47.857 --> 00:07:50.593
  • WE'RE SAYING?
  • 00:07:50.593 --> 00:07:51.394
  • - PRETTY MUCH.
  • 00:07:51.394 --> 00:07:52.395
  • HE KEEPS MEBUSY FULL TIME.
  • 00:07:52.395 --> 00:07:54.330
  • - WE DIDN'T WANT TO SAYBUT THIS IS ACTUALLY
  • 00:07:54.330 --> 00:07:55.998
  • AN INTERVENTION.
  • 00:07:55.998 --> 00:07:56.933
  • [ LAUGHTER ]
  • 00:07:56.933 --> 00:07:57.934
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:07:57.934 --> 00:07:58.834
  • I ADMIT TO IT ALL.
  • 00:07:58.834 --> 00:08:00.736
  • - SO WE WANT TO TALKABOUT MARRIAGE, AND WE
  • 00:08:00.736 --> 00:08:02.772
  • ALL KNOW IT'SA CRAZY TIME.
  • 00:08:02.772 --> 00:08:04.941
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:08:04.941 --> 00:08:06.008
  • - IN THE MIDST OF WHATWE'VE ALL BEEN THROUGH
  • 00:08:06.008 --> 00:08:07.376
  • WITH THE PANDEMICAND EVERYTHING ELSE.
  • 00:08:07.376 --> 00:08:09.111
  • HOW YOU DOING?
  • 00:08:09.111 --> 00:08:10.913
  • HAVE YOU GUYSSURVIVED IT OKAY?
  • 00:08:10.913 --> 00:08:12.481
  • IF YOU GUYS CAN'TSURVIVE, WHO CAN?
  • 00:08:12.481 --> 00:08:15.418
  • - ANYONE CAN.
  • 00:08:15.418 --> 00:08:17.186
  • - OUR QUARANTINESTARTED, DAY ONE, WE
  • 00:08:17.186 --> 00:08:20.856
  • THOUGHT THIS ISGOING TO BE SO COOL.
  • 00:08:20.856 --> 00:08:22.892
  • WE'RE QUARANTINEDTOGETHER.
  • 00:08:22.892 --> 00:08:24.093
  • WE'RE GOING TO DOALL THIS STUFF.
  • 00:08:24.093 --> 00:08:25.962
  • - ALL THEKIDS WERE HOME.
  • 00:08:25.962 --> 00:08:27.597
  • - WE DON'T HAVE TOTRAVEL, SO WE SAID HEY,
  • 00:08:27.597 --> 00:08:29.332
  • TONIGHT LET'S COOKDINNER TOGETHER.
  • 00:08:29.332 --> 00:08:31.133
  • I WAS LIKE HEY, GREAT.
  • 00:08:31.133 --> 00:08:32.335
  • - THE TWO OF YOUOR THE WHOLE FAMILY?
  • 00:08:32.335 --> 00:08:33.402
  • - THE TWO OF US.
  • 00:08:33.402 --> 00:08:35.471
  • - ROMANTICQUARANTINE MOMENT.
  • 00:08:34.337 --> 00:08:37.406
  • - QUARANTINEYES, DINNER.
  • 00:08:37.406 --> 00:08:39.408
  • - SO MY JOB WAS TO BROWNTHE GROUND BEEF AND MAYBE
  • 00:08:39.408 --> 00:08:42.645
  • 2, 3 MINUTES INTO THEWHOLE EXPERIENCE, ERIN
  • 00:08:42.645 --> 00:08:45.414
  • STARTED COACHING ME.
  • 00:08:45.414 --> 00:08:47.183
  • - OH.
  • 00:08:47.183 --> 00:08:48.184
  • - JUST OFFERINGSUGGESTIONS.
  • 00:08:48.184 --> 00:08:50.353
  • - APPARENTLY THERE'S ARIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY
  • 00:08:50.353 --> 00:08:52.421
  • TO BROWN THE GROUND BEEF,AND I WASN'T DOING
  • 00:08:52.421 --> 00:08:54.590
  • IT PROPERLY.
  • 00:08:54.590 --> 00:08:56.192
  • - HE WAS DOING THE WRONGWAY SO --[ LAUGHTER ]
  • 00:08:56.192 --> 00:08:58.027
  • - WE GET INTO THIS BIGFIGHT, AND I'M LIKE, WELL
  • 00:08:58.027 --> 00:09:00.930
  • FINE, FORGET IT!
  • 00:09:00.930 --> 00:09:02.565
  • YOU DO IT AND I'LLJUST SIT THERE, AND WE
  • 00:09:02.565 --> 00:09:04.634
  • THOUGHT, OH MY GOODNESS,WE'VE BEEN ALONE FOR
  • 00:09:04.634 --> 00:09:07.570
  • THREE HOURS AND WE'REALREADY GOING,
  • 00:09:07.570 --> 00:09:09.872
  • I'M LEAVING.
  • 00:09:09.872 --> 00:09:10.706
  • [ LAUGHTER ]
  • 00:09:10.706 --> 00:09:11.507
  • - LONG QUARANTINE.
  • 00:09:11.507 --> 00:09:13.376
  • - COZY QUARANTINE, YEAH.
  • 00:09:13.376 --> 00:09:14.343
  • - HERE'S WHAT'SSO INTERESTING.
  • 00:09:14.343 --> 00:09:15.478
  • I WOULD HONESTLY SAY WHATTHAT LED TO BECAUSE ERIN
  • 00:09:15.478 --> 00:09:19.281
  • SAT THE WHOLE FAMILYDOWN, SAID LISTEN,
  • 00:09:19.281 --> 00:09:21.384
  • BECAUSE OUR ADULT,OUR ADULT THREE KIDS --
  • 00:09:21.384 --> 00:09:23.986
  • - THERE WERESIX OF US HOME.
  • 00:09:23.986 --> 00:09:25.621
  • - WE SAID YEAH, WE'REALL GOING TO DO
  • 00:09:25.621 --> 00:09:26.722
  • THIS TOGETHER.
  • 00:09:26.722 --> 00:09:27.990
  • AND ERIN GOES LISTEN,I AM NOT COOKING MEALS
  • 00:09:27.990 --> 00:09:30.259
  • THREE TIMES A DAY FOREVERYONE SO FIGURE IT OUT.
  • 00:09:30.259 --> 00:09:33.763
  • WHO'S JUMPING IN?
  • 00:09:33.763 --> 00:09:34.797
  • - I LOVE IT.
  • 00:09:34.797 --> 00:09:35.965
  • - I'M LIKE, OKAY FINE.OBVIOUSLY --
  • 00:09:35.965 --> 00:09:37.667
  • - I'M GLADYOU DIDN'T THINK OF THAT.
  • 00:09:37.667 --> 00:09:39.335
  • - I CAN'T COOK MEAT BUTI'LL COOK WHATEVER, AND
  • 00:09:39.335 --> 00:09:42.071
  • SO WHAT I BEGAN TO DO ISWHEN IT WAS MY DAY, MY
  • 00:09:42.071 --> 00:09:46.275
  • TIME TO COOK, I WOULDSTART STRESSING EARLY IN
  • 00:09:46.275 --> 00:09:49.245
  • THE MORNING THINKING[ LAUGHTER ] WHAT AM I
  • 00:09:49.245 --> 00:09:51.013
  • GOING TO COOK?
  • 00:09:51.013 --> 00:09:51.847
  • DO I HAVE TO RUNTO THE STORE?
  • 00:09:51.847 --> 00:09:53.849
  • - LET'S JUST SAY THAT 28 YEARSOF MARRIAGE HE'S NEVER ONCE
  • 00:09:53.849 --> 00:09:56.585
  • THOUGHT OF WHAT AREWE HAVING FOR DINNER.
  • 00:09:56.585 --> 00:09:59.622
  • - NO.
  • 00:09:59.622 --> 00:10:00.690
  • - AND I WAS ALWAYS LIKE,WHAT DO YOU THINK WE'RE
  • 00:10:00.690 --> 00:10:01.557
  • GOING TO EAT?
  • 00:10:01.557 --> 00:10:02.692
  • YOU JUST THINK IT'S GOINGTO APPEAR ON THE TABLE.
  • 00:10:02.692 --> 00:10:04.427
  • - AND I CAME TO HER ANDI SAID, IS THIS WHAT YOUR
  • 00:10:04.427 --> 00:10:05.961
  • LIFE HAS BEEN LIKE?
  • 00:10:05.961 --> 00:10:07.596
  • DO YOU ACTUALLY WORRYABOUT THIS STUFF
  • 00:10:07.596 --> 00:10:08.564
  • THROUGHOUT THE DAY?
  • 00:10:08.564 --> 00:10:09.532
  • - THAT WAS ANA-HA MOMENT.
  • 00:10:09.532 --> 00:10:10.866
  • - YES, THAT WAS A TOTALA-HA AND I TRULY FELT
  • 00:10:10.866 --> 00:10:13.569
  • HORRIBLE GOING, I AM SOSORRY THAT YOU'VE BEARED
  • 00:10:13.569 --> 00:10:16.605
  • THIS BURDEN --- FOR ALMOST THREE DECADES.
  • 00:10:16.605 --> 00:10:19.341
  • - SO I CAN GLADLY SAYTHAT FOR ME COVID I'VE
  • 00:10:19.341 --> 00:10:24.980
  • LEARNED HOW TO COOK.
  • 00:10:24.980 --> 00:10:25.981
  • AND NOW I CAN COOK.
  • 00:10:25.981 --> 00:10:27.750
  • - SEEMS LIKE YOU'VELEARNED A LITTLE HUMILITY
  • 00:10:27.750 --> 00:10:29.018
  • AS WELL.
  • 00:10:29.018 --> 00:10:29.652
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:10:29.652 --> 00:10:30.653
  • - I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHINGABOUT HUMILITY.
  • 00:10:30.653 --> 00:10:31.987
  • [ LAUGHTER ]
  • 00:10:31.987 --> 00:10:33.322
  • - IT'S A BEAUTIFUL THINGBECAUSE NOW I COME HOME
  • 00:10:33.322 --> 00:10:34.890
  • FROM SEEING CLIENTS ANDDINNER IS ON THE TABLE.
  • 00:10:34.890 --> 00:10:36.559
  • - THAT IS ABEAUTIFUL THING.
  • 00:10:36.559 --> 00:10:38.728
  • - I'M LIKE, WHATHAS HAPPENED HERE.
  • 00:10:38.728 --> 00:10:39.795
  • - DON'TGET ANY IDEAS.
  • 00:10:39.795 --> 00:10:41.731
  • - HE'S NOT JUST COOKING,HE'S CLEANING, DOING
  • 00:10:41.731 --> 00:10:43.299
  • LAUNDRY, MAKING THE BED.
  • 00:10:43.299 --> 00:10:45.134
  • - WOW, GREG.
  • 00:10:45.134 --> 00:10:47.536
  • WHAT ARE YOU GOING FOR,HUSBAND OF THE YEAR?
  • 00:10:47.536 --> 00:10:50.106
  • - I'M RETIRINGOFFICIALLY JUST TO BE A
  • 00:10:50.106 --> 00:10:51.707
  • HOUSE BOY.
  • 00:10:51.707 --> 00:10:53.109
  • - THAT'S IS INCREDIBLE.
  • 00:10:53.109 --> 00:10:54.210
  • - TALK ABOUT AQUARANTINE SUCCESS STORY.
  • 00:10:54.210 --> 00:10:56.512
  • - YEAH, I DON'T LIKEIT ONE LITTLE BIT.
  • 00:10:56.512 --> 00:10:58.347
  • [ LAUGHTER ]
  • 00:10:58.347 --> 00:11:00.249
  • - YEAH, TRUST ME WE ALSOHAD ONE OF THE BIGGEST
  • 00:11:00.249 --> 00:11:02.852
  • FIGHTS WE'VE HAD IN ALONG TIME TRYING TO MOVE
  • 00:11:02.852 --> 00:11:04.687
  • A CHAIR INTOHER HOME OFFICE.
  • 00:11:04.687 --> 00:11:07.890
  • - MAYBE I SHOULD HAVEASKED THAT QUESTION FIRST.
  • 00:11:07.890 --> 00:11:09.458
  • [ LAUGHTER ]
  • 00:11:09.458 --> 00:11:11.327
  • WE'LL START TO CHARGEYOU IF WE GET INTO THIS.
  • 00:11:11.327 --> 00:11:13.395
  • - I CAN COOK BUT I'MNOT A MOVER BECAUSE
  • 00:11:13.395 --> 00:11:16.398
  • APPARENTLY I CAN'T DOTHAT EITHER WITHOUT IT
  • 00:11:16.398 --> 00:11:17.600
  • ERUPTING INTOA BIG CONFLICT.
  • 00:11:17.600 --> 00:11:20.336
  • - WELL, YOU GUYS AREGOOD EXPERTS TO ASK FOR
  • 00:11:20.336 --> 00:11:22.705
  • ALL OF US BECAUSE AS WEMOVE OUT OF COVID 19,
  • 00:11:22.705 --> 00:11:25.775
  • EVERY MARRIED COUPLENEEDS TO KNOW HOW CAN WE
  • 00:11:25.775 --> 00:11:27.409
  • NAVIGATE THAT.
  • 00:11:27.409 --> 00:11:28.477
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:11:28.477 --> 00:11:29.712
  • I MEAN CAN WE EVEN GOTHERE YET TO START TO
  • 00:11:29.712 --> 00:11:32.148
  • THINK ABOUT THIS?
  • 00:11:32.148 --> 00:11:34.016
  • - ARE WE MOVING OUT?
  • 00:11:34.016 --> 00:11:35.484
  • I THINK WE ARE.
  • 00:11:35.484 --> 00:11:36.685
  • - BEFORE WE EVEN GET TOTHAT, JUST IN THE CONTEXT
  • 00:11:36.685 --> 00:11:39.588
  • OF THIS BECAUSEWE'RE NOT OUT OF IT.
  • 00:11:39.588 --> 00:11:41.724
  • - NO, WE'RE NOT.
  • 00:11:41.724 --> 00:11:42.792
  • - AND LOTS OF PEOPLE ARESTILL LOCKED DOWN, AND
  • 00:11:42.792 --> 00:11:44.493
  • LESLIE AND I HAVE BEENTALKING ABOUT QUARANTINE
  • 00:11:44.493 --> 00:11:47.429
  • QUARRELS WE ALL HAVE.
  • 00:11:47.429 --> 00:11:49.765
  • - AND HAVING THEM, NOTJUST TALKING ABOUT THEM.
  • 00:11:49.765 --> 00:11:51.867
  • - DID IT INVOLVE A CHAIR FORYOU GUYS AS WELL?
  • 00:11:51.867 --> 00:11:53.736
  • - AND STRANGELY ENOUGHBROWNING THE BEEF IS THE
  • 00:11:53.736 --> 00:11:55.704
  • BIG DEAL FOR US, TOO.
  • 00:11:55.704 --> 00:11:56.872
  • - SEE, WE'RE NORMAL.
  • 00:11:56.872 --> 00:11:58.107
  • - AND ADD IN THEPOLITICAL CULTURE.
  • 00:11:58.107 --> 00:11:59.675
  • AND I'M SEEING A LOT OFCOUPLES WHO ARE COMING IN
  • 00:11:59.675 --> 00:12:01.710
  • AND JUST AT EACH OTHER'STHROATS OVER POLITICS
  • 00:12:01.710 --> 00:12:04.713
  • BECAUSE THEY SEEIT DIFFERENTLY.
  • 00:12:04.713 --> 00:12:06.081
  • AND BEING LOCKED AWAYTOGETHER DOESN'T GO WELL.
  • 00:12:06.081 --> 00:12:08.617
  • - SO WHAT'S LIKE ONEPRACTICAL COVID 19,
  • 00:12:08.617 --> 00:12:12.288
  • PANDEMIC KIND OFUNIVERSAL KIND OF PASS
  • 00:12:12.288 --> 00:12:15.925
  • ALONG, A TAKE AWAY AS WELIKE TO SAY FOR COUPLES --
  • 00:12:15.925 --> 00:12:19.695
  • - TO PUTINTO PRACTICE.
  • 00:12:19.695 --> 00:12:21.463
  • - WHO ARE TUNED IN RIGHTNOW THAT THEY CAN GO OH,
  • 00:12:21.463 --> 00:12:23.465
  • I CAN USE THAT?
  • 00:12:23.465 --> 00:12:24.433
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:12:24.433 --> 00:12:25.467
  • I THINK ONE OF THEEASIEST IS TO RECOGNIZE
  • 00:12:25.467 --> 00:12:27.803
  • THAT WE'VE ALLEXPERIENCED A TON OF LOSSES.
  • 00:12:27.803 --> 00:12:31.173
  • LITTLE LOSSES TO BIG,HEALTH OR JOB LOSSES.
  • 00:12:31.173 --> 00:12:34.076
  • YOU THINK ABOUT JUSTTHINGS THAT WE'VE ALL
  • 00:12:34.076 --> 00:12:36.212
  • GONE THROUGH.
  • 00:12:36.212 --> 00:12:37.179
  • WHAT ERIN AND IHAVE LEARNED IT TO BE
  • 00:12:37.179 --> 00:12:40.182
  • INTENTIONAL TOASK THAT QUESTION.
  • 00:12:40.182 --> 00:12:42.318
  • - I LIKE THAT.
  • 00:12:42.318 --> 00:12:44.119
  • - WHAT IS A LOSS THATYOU'VE
  • 00:12:44.119 --> 00:12:45.321
  • EXPERIENCED LATELY?
  • 00:12:45.321 --> 00:12:46.455
  • AND WHAT IT'S DONE IT'SGIVEN US AN OPPORTUNITY
  • 00:12:46.455 --> 00:12:49.191
  • JUST TO CARE.
  • 00:12:49.191 --> 00:12:50.292
  • SO WE'LL GO FOR A WALKAND I'LL SAY HEY, THE
  • 00:12:50.292 --> 00:12:52.628
  • OTHER DAY THIS HAPPENED,AND MAN, THAT'S ACTUALLY,
  • 00:12:52.628 --> 00:12:55.731
  • YEAH, THAT WILL NEVERTAKE PLACE AGAIN SO
  • 00:12:55.731 --> 00:12:58.367
  • THAT'S A HUGELOSS FOR ME.
  • 00:12:58.367 --> 00:13:00.069
  • AND WE'VE NOTICED HOWMUCH THAT HAS RECONNECTED
  • 00:13:00.069 --> 00:13:03.405
  • US JUST AROUND JUSTCARING, HAVING SOME
  • 00:13:03.405 --> 00:13:06.175
  • EMPATHY AROUNDTHE LOSSES.
  • 00:13:06.175 --> 00:13:07.743
  • - COMPASSION.
  • 00:13:07.743 --> 00:13:08.844
  • - YEAH, JUST BEING HEARDAND SEEN IS SO HEALING.
  • 00:13:08.844 --> 00:13:11.847
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:13:11.847 --> 00:13:12.948
  • - WE CAN'T FIX IT FORONE ANOTHER, BUT BEING IN
  • 00:13:12.948 --> 00:13:16.919
  • THE STRUGGLE TOGETHER ANDNOT ALONE CARRYING
  • 00:13:16.919 --> 00:13:18.921
  • OUR LOSSES.
  • 00:13:18.921 --> 00:13:19.922
  • - A HUGE THING.
  • 00:13:19.922 --> 00:13:20.756
  • - AND THEY'RE THERE.
  • 00:13:20.756 --> 00:13:21.724
  • SO WE'VE ALL GONETHROUGH THEM.
  • 00:13:21.724 --> 00:13:22.758
  • - AND I'VE BEENENCOURAGING COUPLES JUST
  • 00:13:22.758 --> 00:13:25.394
  • TO REALLY LOOK AT WHAT'SONE THING THAT YOU
  • 00:13:25.394 --> 00:13:27.196
  • LEARNED THROUGH THISSEASON AND TAKE THAT ONE
  • 00:13:27.196 --> 00:13:28.864
  • THING WITH YOU INTO THENEW SEASON, AND WHATEVER
  • 00:13:28.864 --> 00:13:31.200
  • THAT IS, THERE WAS GOOD,THERE WAS BAD, THERE
  • 00:13:31.200 --> 00:13:33.402
  • WAS UGLY.
  • 00:13:33.402 --> 00:13:34.370
  • - I LEARNED HOWTO BROWN MEAT.
  • 00:13:34.370 --> 00:13:35.938
  • [ LAUGHTER ]
  • 00:13:35.938 --> 00:13:37.139
  • - AND PLAN A MENU.
  • 00:13:37.139 --> 00:13:38.173
  • HOW TO COOK A MEAL.
  • 00:13:38.173 --> 00:13:40.309
  • HOW TO FOLD LAUNDRY.
  • 00:13:40.309 --> 00:13:41.644
  • I MEAN, IT'SBEEN MIRACULOUS.
  • 00:13:41.644 --> 00:13:43.646
  • BUT REALLY JUST BEINGINTENTIONAL ABOUT WHAT IS
  • 00:13:43.646 --> 00:13:45.314
  • THAT ONE THING FORYOU AS A COUPLE?
  • 00:13:45.314 --> 00:13:47.549
  • AND WHAT IS IT THAT I'MPERSONALLY GOING TO TAKE
  • 00:13:47.549 --> 00:13:49.685
  • AWAY REGARDLESS OF WHATHE TAKES AWAY OR NOT?
  • 00:13:49.685 --> 00:13:52.554
  • I CAN CARRY THIS INTOTHIS NEW SEASON.
  • 00:13:52.554 --> 00:13:54.590
  • - IT REMINDS ME OFSOMETHING WE DID LONG
  • 00:13:54.590 --> 00:13:56.659
  • BEFORE COVID 19 ANDEVERYTHING ELSE, WE
  • 00:13:56.659 --> 00:13:58.694
  • CALLED IT THE BIGQUESTION, AND IT WAS JUST
  • 00:13:58.694 --> 00:14:01.130
  • SOMETHING WE'D ASK EACHOTHER ONCE A WEEK THAT
  • 00:14:01.130 --> 00:14:03.666
  • BECAME EVEN MOREIMPORTANT DURING THIS
  • 00:14:03.666 --> 00:14:05.634
  • PANDEMIC SEASON.
  • 00:14:05.634 --> 00:14:06.936
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:14:06.936 --> 00:14:08.103
  • - BUT THE QUESTION IS,WHAT CAN I DO THIS WEEK
  • 00:14:08.103 --> 00:14:10.272
  • THAT WILL MAKE MEA BETTER HUSBAND?
  • 00:14:10.272 --> 00:14:12.308
  • - WITH ONE THING.
  • 00:14:12.308 --> 00:14:13.275
  • - ONE THING.
  • 00:14:13.275 --> 00:14:14.410
  • - WE LIMIT IT.
  • 00:14:14.410 --> 00:14:15.544
  • [ LAUGHTER ]
  • 00:14:15.544 --> 00:14:17.046
  • - SHE ROLLED OUT --
  • 00:14:17.046 --> 00:14:19.281
  • - THAT DOESN'T FEELSAFE TO SO --
  • 00:14:19.281 --> 00:14:20.749
  • - NUMBER 432.
  • 00:14:20.749 --> 00:14:22.117
  • - COOK, CLEAN.
  • 00:14:22.117 --> 00:14:24.420
  • - BUT IN THE SAME WAYWHAT'S ONE THING I WANT
  • 00:14:24.420 --> 00:14:27.823
  • TO TAKE WITH ME OUT OFTHIS SEASON AND BRING IT
  • 00:14:27.823 --> 00:14:31.360
  • INTO THE REST OFOUR LIFE TOGETHER?
  • 00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:33.062
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:14:33.062 --> 00:14:33.862
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:14:33.862 --> 00:14:34.596
  • - I LOVE THAT.
  • 00:14:34.596 --> 00:14:35.597
  • ERIN AND I REALIZEDREALLY QUICKLY THOUGH
  • 00:14:35.597 --> 00:14:37.166
  • THAT HOW TYPICALLY WE'DCONNECT AND HAVE A DEEPER
  • 00:14:37.166 --> 00:14:41.570
  • INTIMACY CHANGED VERYDRAMATICALLY BECAUSE WHAT
  • 00:14:41.570 --> 00:14:44.373
  • WE REALIZED IS LIKE YOUGUYS, WE TEACH MARRIAGE
  • 00:14:44.373 --> 00:14:46.909
  • SEMINARS SO WHAT WE'D DOIS WE'D KIND OF INVEST IN
  • 00:14:46.909 --> 00:14:49.545
  • ALL THESE OTHERRELATIONSHIPS WHILE WE'RE
  • 00:14:49.545 --> 00:14:52.481
  • HOME KNOWING THAT HEY INTWO WEEKS, IN THREE WEEKS
  • 00:14:52.481 --> 00:14:54.483
  • WE'RE GOING TO BE ATSUCH AND SUCH LOCATION.
  • 00:14:54.483 --> 00:14:56.752
  • WE'RE HANGINGOUT, EATING.
  • 00:14:56.752 --> 00:14:58.320
  • - ON AN ADVENTURE.
  • 00:14:58.320 --> 00:14:59.221
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:14:59.221 --> 00:15:00.289
  • AND WHEN ALL THAT WENTAWAY WE JUST REALIZED WE
  • 00:15:00.289 --> 00:15:02.157
  • WEREN'T REALLY CONNECTINGSO IT FORCED US TO GO OKAY, HOW
  • 00:15:02.157 --> 00:15:05.194
  • DO WE DO THAT DIFFERENTLYNOW THAT THAT'S
  • 00:15:05.194 --> 00:15:07.262
  • NOT AVAILABLE?
  • 00:15:07.262 --> 00:15:08.330
  • BECAUSE WE REALIZED WECAN'T GO FROM DATE NIGHT
  • 00:15:08.330 --> 00:15:11.200
  • TO DATE NIGHT OR FROMVACATION TO VACATION,
  • 00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:13.535
  • EVENT TO EVENT.
  • 00:15:13.535 --> 00:15:14.770
  • WE HAD TO FIGURE OUTSOMETHING ELSE TO DO.
  • 00:15:14.770 --> 00:15:16.872
  • SO WHAT WE STARTED DOINGVERY SIMILAR THAT YOU
  • 00:15:16.872 --> 00:15:19.708
  • GUYS TALKED ABOUT WHICHWAS JUST TEN MINUTES A
  • 00:15:19.708 --> 00:15:22.378
  • DAY LET'S JUST CHECK IN.
  • 00:15:22.378 --> 00:15:23.979
  • MAYBE IT'S RIGHT BEFOREBED, WE'RE KIND OF LAYING
  • 00:15:23.979 --> 00:15:26.081
  • TOGETHER, BUT WE'RE NOTALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT
  • 00:15:26.081 --> 00:15:28.283
  • BUDGETS AND TO DOLISTS AND TASKS.
  • 00:15:28.283 --> 00:15:32.521
  • - NOBODY WANTS THATFOR PILLOW TALK.
  • 00:15:32.521 --> 00:15:33.856
  • - HOUSEWORK.
  • 00:15:33.856 --> 00:15:34.757
  • NONE OF THAT.
  • 00:15:34.757 --> 00:15:36.025
  • - SO WHAT WE STARTEDDOING WAS, WHAT WAS THE
  • 00:15:36.025 --> 00:15:38.293
  • HIGH OF YOUR DAY ANDTHE LOW OF YOUR DAY?
  • 00:15:38.293 --> 00:15:39.828
  • - LOVE IT.
  • 00:15:39.828 --> 00:15:41.030
  • - AND IT SIMPLYFACILITATED JUST SOME
  • 00:15:41.030 --> 00:15:42.498
  • GOOD CONNECTION.
  • 00:15:42.498 --> 00:15:43.565
  • - THE ROSE AND THETHORN I'VE HEARD IT PUT.
  • 00:15:43.565 --> 00:15:44.833
  • - YES.
  • 00:15:44.833 --> 00:15:45.968
  • THAT IS WHATI JUST HEARD.
  • 00:15:45.968 --> 00:15:47.536
  • - THAT'S AWESOME.
  • 00:15:47.536 --> 00:15:48.771
  • I THINK THAT YOU GUYS,YOU MUST GET THIS
  • 00:15:48.771 --> 00:15:51.707
  • QUESTION, I KNOW WEGET IT ALL THE TIME.
  • 00:15:51.707 --> 00:15:53.208
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:15:53.208 --> 00:15:54.443
  • - BUT HERE YOU ARE,YOU'RE IN THE BUSINESS OF
  • 00:15:54.443 --> 00:15:55.978
  • MARRIAGE, RIGHT.
  • 00:15:55.978 --> 00:15:57.379
  • YOU'RE COUNSELORS ANDYOU WRITE BOOKS ON IT.
  • 00:15:57.379 --> 00:15:59.715
  • IT MUST BE EASY FORYOU GUYS, RIGHT?
  • 00:15:59.715 --> 00:16:01.717
  • - OF COURSE.
  • 00:16:01.717 --> 00:16:02.718
  • - THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODYASSUMES --
  • 00:16:02.718 --> 00:16:04.420
  • - UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO MOVE ACHAIR OR COOK A MEAL.
  • 00:16:04.420 --> 00:16:07.022
  • - OR BROWN GROUND BEEF.
  • 00:16:07.022 --> 00:16:08.557
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:16:08.557 --> 00:16:09.591
  • NOBODY IS IMMUNE DURINGTHIS SEASON, RIGHT.
  • 00:16:09.591 --> 00:16:11.060
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:16:11.060 --> 00:16:13.095
  • - AND THE LITTLE FAULTLINES, THE LITTLE CRACKS
  • 00:16:13.095 --> 00:16:14.596
  • WE MIGHT HAVE SEEN BEFOREHAVE BECOME EXAGGERATED,
  • 00:16:14.596 --> 00:16:17.132
  • MORE VISIBLE IN THEMIDST OF ALL THIS.
  • 00:16:17.132 --> 00:16:19.201
  • - UNDER STRESS.
  • 00:16:19.201 --> 00:16:20.669
  • - LIKE A BIG SPOTLIGHTON THOSE ISSUES.
  • 00:16:20.669 --> 00:16:22.404
  • - IT REALLY IS TRUE.
  • 00:16:22.404 --> 00:16:24.339
  • LET'S TALK A LITTLE BIT.
  • 00:16:24.339 --> 00:16:25.607
  • - YEAH, THIS LOOKSLIKE A GREAT RESOURCE.
  • 00:16:25.607 --> 00:16:27.076
  • - RECONNECTED, MOVINGFROM ROOMMATES TO SOUL MATES.
  • 00:16:27.076 --> 00:16:30.479
  • - SO APTLY SAID.
  • 00:16:30.479 --> 00:16:32.948
  • - THAT IS AN EASY THINGFOR ANYBODY THAT'S BEEN
  • 00:16:32.948 --> 00:16:35.551
  • MARRIED FOR A FEW YEARSTO KIND OF FALL INTO THAT
  • 00:16:35.551 --> 00:16:37.853
  • ZONE OF WE'RE JUSTROOMMATES, KIND OF
  • 00:16:37.853 --> 00:16:39.621
  • CHECKING IN AND WE LOSETHE SOUL MATE KIND OF
  • 00:16:39.621 --> 00:16:42.991
  • -- TELL US ABOUT THETITLE, RECONNECTED.
  • 00:16:42.991 --> 00:16:44.893
  • WHY IS IT THE TITLE?
  • 00:16:44.893 --> 00:16:46.195
  • - WELL, AS WE TRAVEL ANDYOU GUYS TRAVEL AS WELL,
  • 00:16:46.195 --> 00:16:48.664
  • YOU HEAR THATFROM COUPLES.
  • 00:16:48.664 --> 00:16:50.499
  • WE'RE TOGETHER AND WE'RECOMMITTED BUT WE'RE JUST
  • 00:16:50.499 --> 00:16:53.135
  • MARRIED ROOMMATES.
  • 00:16:53.135 --> 00:16:54.503
  • AND I DON'T KNOW ANYONEWHO GOT MARRIED TO JUST
  • 00:16:54.503 --> 00:16:56.538
  • BE MARRIED ROOMMATES.
  • 00:16:56.538 --> 00:16:57.973
  • WE GOT MARRIED FORSOMETHING DEEPER,
  • 00:16:57.973 --> 00:17:00.209
  • DEEPER CONNECTION.
  • 00:17:00.209 --> 00:17:01.477
  • AND SO WE'RE LIKE HUH.
  • 00:17:01.477 --> 00:17:03.045
  • THERE'S SOMETHING TO THATBECAUSE WE HEAR IT ALL
  • 00:17:03.045 --> 00:17:04.413
  • THE TIME.
  • 00:17:04.413 --> 00:17:05.514
  • AND WE ARE OURSELVES HAVEFOUND OURSELVES IN THOSE
  • 00:17:05.514 --> 00:17:07.116
  • SEASONS OF FEELINGLIKE ROOMMATES.
  • 00:17:07.116 --> 00:17:08.984
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:17:08.984 --> 00:17:10.185
  • - SO WHAT'S LIKE OUTOF THE BOOK, LIKE ONE OR
  • 00:17:10.185 --> 00:17:12.721
  • TWO NUGGETS THAT YOU GO,THIS FOR US HAS REALLY
  • 00:17:12.721 --> 00:17:16.258
  • MADE A DIFFERENCE?
  • 00:17:16.258 --> 00:17:17.292
  • AND I KNOW IT MAKES ADIFFERENCE IN OTHER
  • 00:17:17.292 --> 00:17:18.327
  • PEOPLE'S LIVES.
  • 00:17:18.327 --> 00:17:19.261
  • WHAT COMES TOMIND ON THAT?
  • 00:17:19.261 --> 00:17:20.329
  • - FOR ME IT'SRECOGNIZING THAT ONE
  • 00:17:20.329 --> 00:17:23.398
  • LIFETIME ISN'T LONGENOUGH TO GET TO KNOW HER
  • 00:17:23.398 --> 00:17:25.834
  • BECAUSE SHE'SCONSTANTLY CHANGING.
  • 00:17:25.834 --> 00:17:27.369
  • - OKAY, THATWAS SO ROMANTIC.
  • 00:17:27.369 --> 00:17:28.971
  • [ LAUGHTER ]
  • 00:17:28.971 --> 00:17:30.038
  • - YOU'RE REALLY MAKINGA LOT OF US LOOK BAD.
  • 00:17:30.038 --> 00:17:32.407
  • - WHAT I'VE LEARNEDTHOUGH IS THAT I HAVE TO
  • 00:17:32.407 --> 00:17:37.412
  • ASSUME THAT WHAT SHENEEDS TODAY MIGHT EVEN BE
  • 00:17:37.412 --> 00:17:38.881
  • DIFFERENT THAN WHAT SHENEEDED YESTERDAY AND JUST
  • 00:17:38.881 --> 00:17:41.617
  • TO MAINTAIN THAT ATTITUDEOF BEING CURIOUS.
  • 00:17:41.617 --> 00:17:44.319
  • LIKE ASKINGHER QUESTIONS.
  • 00:17:44.319 --> 00:17:45.921
  • - I LOVE THAT.
  • 00:17:45.921 --> 00:17:47.322
  • - AND HOW CAN I LOVE YOUDIFFERENTLY OR BETTER?
  • 00:17:47.322 --> 00:17:49.825
  • LIKE WHEN WE JUST DROPPEDOUR SON BACK OFF
  • 00:17:49.825 --> 00:17:51.960
  • AT COLLEGE.
  • 00:17:51.960 --> 00:17:53.662
  • THAT STUFF CHANGES US.
  • 00:17:53.662 --> 00:17:54.863
  • - YEAH, IT DOES.
  • 00:17:54.863 --> 00:17:56.398
  • - THIS IS MYLITTLE BUDDY.
  • 00:17:56.398 --> 00:17:57.499
  • - MY MAMA'S HEART.
  • 00:17:57.499 --> 00:17:58.867
  • - IT'S HARD FOR ME TO HAVE MYMAN, MY YOUNG MAN
  • 00:17:58.867 --> 00:18:00.836
  • GONE, THIS IS MY FRIEND.
  • 00:18:00.836 --> 00:18:02.771
  • SO EVEN WHAT I'M GOINGTHROUGH, WHAT I NEED CAN
  • 00:18:02.771 --> 00:18:05.507
  • LOOK VERY DIFFERENTLY SOJUST THAT ATTITUDE OF
  • 00:18:05.507 --> 00:18:08.043
  • GOING I DON'T WANT TOASSUME THAT I KNOW WHAT
  • 00:18:08.043 --> 00:18:09.912
  • SHE NEEDS ORWHAT SHE WANTS.
  • 00:18:09.912 --> 00:18:11.547
  • I'M GOING TOKEEP ASKING HER.
  • 00:18:11.547 --> 00:18:13.182
  • AND THAT'S WHY THE HIGHSAND LOWS OF THE DAY,
  • 00:18:13.182 --> 00:18:15.217
  • ASKING THOSE KINDS OFQUESTIONS GETS YOU THE
  • 00:18:15.217 --> 00:18:17.386
  • RIGHT KIND OF INFORMATIONTO STAY CURRENT AND KIND
  • 00:18:17.386 --> 00:18:19.888
  • OF UPDATED.
  • 00:18:19.888 --> 00:18:21.023
  • - I LOVE THAT IDEA OFBEING CURIOUS, RIGHT.
  • 00:18:21.023 --> 00:18:22.457
  • - I DO, TOO.
  • 00:18:22.457 --> 00:18:23.492
  • - THAT'S ONE OF THEHALLMARKS OF A HEALTHY
  • 00:18:23.492 --> 00:18:24.927
  • RELATIONSHIP WHICH WE KNOWFROM RESEARCH.
  • 00:18:24.927 --> 00:18:26.929
  • - YEAH, AND YOU KEEPGROWING, AND JUST THE
  • 00:18:26.929 --> 00:18:28.764
  • ASSUMPTION THAT WE GROWINTO THAT OH, I KNOW
  • 00:18:28.764 --> 00:18:31.166
  • EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU,
  • 00:18:31.166 --> 00:18:33.135
  • THERE'S NOTHING NEW TOLEARN IS WHAT KILLS THAT
  • 00:18:33.135 --> 00:18:35.671
  • SENSE OF SOULMATES, RIGHT.
  • 00:18:35.671 --> 00:18:37.606
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:18:37.606 --> 00:18:38.640
  • WELL, THEN IT'S JUSTBORING AND HUMDRUM VERSUS
  • 00:18:38.640 --> 00:18:41.910
  • HE'S CHANGINGALL THE TIME.
  • 00:18:41.910 --> 00:18:43.779
  • HOW EXCITING INCLUDING --- AND YOU'RE GETTING IN
  • 00:18:43.779 --> 00:18:46.815
  • ON HER GROWING EDGE THATWAY, AND NOT MISSING OUT
  • 00:18:46.815 --> 00:18:50.052
  • ON IT.
  • 00:18:50.052 --> 00:18:51.286
  • THAT'S WHAT KEEPS OURRELATIONSHIPS VIBRANT.
  • 00:18:51.286 --> 00:18:53.222
  • - REMEMBER THE GROUPJOURNEY, THAT SONG OF --
  • 00:18:53.222 --> 00:18:55.457
  • - OF COURSE.
  • 00:18:55.457 --> 00:18:56.391
  • [ LAUGHTER ]
  • 00:18:56.391 --> 00:18:57.359
  • - OUR GENRE.
  • 00:18:57.359 --> 00:18:59.361
  • - THERE'S A LINE THATSAYS, I GET THE JOY OF
  • 00:18:59.361 --> 00:19:01.463
  • REDISCOVERING YOU.
  • 00:19:01.463 --> 00:19:02.931
  • AND I'M TELLING YOU, IFYOU DID NOTHING ELSE BUT
  • 00:19:02.931 --> 00:19:04.800
  • HAD THAT ATTITUDE OFGOING I GET THE JOY OF
  • 00:19:04.800 --> 00:19:07.603
  • REDISCOVERING YOUEVERY DAY, I'M TELLING YOU
  • 00:19:07.603 --> 00:19:10.272
  • YOU'RE GOING TO HAVEA STRONG MARRIAGE.
  • 00:19:10.272 --> 00:19:11.540
  • - OKAY.
  • 00:19:11.540 --> 00:19:12.474
  • THERE'S YOUR VALENTINE.
  • 00:19:12.474 --> 00:19:13.609
  • I GET THE JOY OFREDISCOVERING YOU.
  • 00:19:13.609 --> 00:19:15.577
  • - THERE YOU GO.
  • 00:19:15.577 --> 00:19:16.678
  • MAKE YOU COULDBREAK OUT SINGING.
  • 00:19:16.678 --> 00:19:18.313
  • - THE SONG ISFAITHFULLY.
  • 00:19:18.313 --> 00:19:19.414
  • - FAITHFULLY.
  • 00:19:19.414 --> 00:19:20.549
  • - JUST PLAYTHAT AS A COUPLE.
  • 00:19:20.549 --> 00:19:21.817
  • - I'D LOVE TOSING A FEW BARS.
  • 00:19:21.817 --> 00:19:23.085
  • - LOVE IT.
  • 00:19:23.085 --> 00:19:24.453
  • - YOU GUYS, SOGOOD TO BE WITH YOU.
  • 00:19:24.453 --> 00:19:26.221
  • RECONNECTED,REDISCOVERING.
  • 00:19:26.221 --> 00:19:28.490
  • I LOVE THIS IDEA OFBEING CURIOUS ABOUT YOUR
  • 00:19:28.490 --> 00:19:30.959
  • PARTNER TO NOT FALLINTO THAT TRAP OF BEING
  • 00:19:30.959 --> 00:19:33.595
  • ROOMMATES INSTEAD OF SOULMATES, SO THANKS FOR THE
  • 00:19:33.595 --> 00:19:36.398
  • TIME YOU SPENT WITH US.
  • 00:19:36.398 --> 00:19:37.499
  • - THANKS FOR HAVING US.
  • 00:19:37.499 --> 00:19:38.667
  • - ABSOLUTELY.
  • 00:19:38.667 --> 00:19:39.501
  • [ MUSIC ]
  • 00:19:39.501 --> 00:19:44.009
  • [ MUSIC ]
  • 00:19:44.009 --> 00:19:44.651
  • - WELCOME TORELATIONSHIP REFRESH, AND
  • 00:19:44.651 --> 00:19:47.287
  • BY THE WAY, IF YOU'RECONFUSED, WE DO HAVE THE
  • 00:19:47.287 --> 00:19:49.188
  • SAME NAME.
  • 00:19:49.188 --> 00:19:50.490
  • I'M LESLIE SHE'SLESLIE [ LAUGHTER ]
  • 00:19:50.490 --> 00:19:52.425
  • IT'S JUST THE WAYGOD PLANNED IT.
  • 00:19:52.425 --> 00:19:53.960
  • - FOR US.
  • 00:19:53.960 --> 00:19:55.028
  • - IT'S EVEN MORE COMPLEXBECAUSE I'M THE THIRD.
  • 00:19:55.028 --> 00:19:56.996
  • THAT MEANS MY DAD'S NAME ISLESLIE, MY GRANDFATHER'S
  • 00:19:56.996 --> 00:19:59.599
  • NAME IS LESLIE.
  • 00:19:59.599 --> 00:20:00.900
  • I'M LESLIE, AND THENI MARRIED A LESLIE.
  • 00:20:00.900 --> 00:20:03.436
  • [ LAUGHTER ]
  • 00:20:03.436 --> 00:20:04.737
  • - SOME COMEDICRELIEF IN OUR HOME.
  • 00:20:04.737 --> 00:20:06.306
  • - SO WHEN WE NAMED ORFIRST SON OF COURSE WE
  • 00:20:06.306 --> 00:20:08.474
  • NAMED HIM... JOHN.
  • 00:20:08.474 --> 00:20:10.043
  • JOHN LESLIE.
  • 00:20:10.043 --> 00:20:11.177
  • - THANK GOODNESS.
  • 00:20:11.177 --> 00:20:12.712
  • - SO I'M REALLY EXCITEDABOUT OUR NEXT GUESTS.
  • 00:20:12.712 --> 00:20:15.248
  • THEY ARE --- WE ARE SO HAPPY.
  • 00:20:15.248 --> 00:20:16.849
  • - THEY ARE NEW FRIENDSIN LOS ANGELES, PASTORS
  • 00:20:16.849 --> 00:20:20.820
  • TOURE' AND SARAHJAKES ROBERTS.
  • 00:20:20.820 --> 00:20:22.355
  • WELCOME, YOU GUYS.
  • 00:20:22.355 --> 00:20:23.389
  • THANKS FORJOINING US TODAY.
  • 00:20:23.389 --> 00:20:24.824
  • - THANK YOUFOR HAVING US.
  • 00:20:24.824 --> 00:20:25.692
  • - THANK YOU.
  • 00:20:25.692 --> 00:20:26.859
  • WE'RE GLAD TO BE HERE.
  • 00:20:26.859 --> 00:20:28.127
  • - AND YOU GUYS ARE -- IDON'T KNOW YOU DO THIS.
  • 00:20:28.127 --> 00:20:30.430
  • YOU'RE THE PASTORS OF THEPOTTER'S HOUSE DENVER.
  • 00:20:30.430 --> 00:20:33.299
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:20:33.299 --> 00:20:34.434
  • - WHICH IS OBVIOUSLYIN DENVER.
  • 00:20:34.434 --> 00:20:35.868
  • AND YOUR CHURCHIN LA, ONE LA.
  • 00:20:35.868 --> 00:20:38.338
  • SO TELL US FIRST OF ALL,HOW DOES THAT WORK?
  • 00:20:38.338 --> 00:20:41.874
  • - THAT'S A FULL LIFE.
  • 00:20:41.874 --> 00:20:43.343
  • - THAT SOUNDS LIKE ANINCREDIBLY COMPLEX LIFE.
  • 00:20:43.343 --> 00:20:45.845
  • HOW DOES THAT ALL PLAYOUT FOR THE TWO OF YOU?
  • 00:20:45.845 --> 00:20:47.914
  • - I CAN SAY MAYBE 15YEARS AGO WOULD BE A LOT
  • 00:20:47.914 --> 00:20:50.550
  • MORE DIFFICULT THAN IT ISNOW, BUT WE'VE EMBRACED
  • 00:20:50.550 --> 00:20:53.486
  • MODERN TECHNOLOGY AND WEUSE STREAMING AS SO MANY
  • 00:20:53.486 --> 00:20:57.423
  • PEOPLE DO, AND IT'SWORKED OUT PRETTY WELL
  • 00:20:57.423 --> 00:21:00.026
  • FOR US.
  • 00:21:00.026 --> 00:21:01.427
  • - WELL, THAT'S SOAWESOME THAT YOU CAN PULL
  • 00:21:01.427 --> 00:21:03.463
  • THAT OFF, AND I KNOW ITTAKES SOME GIFTING TO DO THAT.
  • 00:21:03.463 --> 00:21:05.998
  • THAT DOESN'T JUSTHAPPEN NATURALLY.
  • 00:21:05.998 --> 00:21:07.600
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:21:07.600 --> 00:21:08.701
  • THAT'S NOT JUSTTECHNOLOGY.
  • 00:21:08.701 --> 00:21:09.936
  • THERE'S A LOT OF MATURITYAND RESILIENCE IN THAT.
  • 00:21:09.936 --> 00:21:12.705
  • - SO WE FEEL COMPELLEDTO ASK YOU GUYS, HOW HAS
  • 00:21:12.705 --> 00:21:14.674
  • THIS WHOLE QUARANTINE,HOW HAS THE PANDEMIC
  • 00:21:14.674 --> 00:21:17.810
  • TREATED YOU?
  • 00:21:17.810 --> 00:21:18.911
  • HOW ARE YOU DOING INTHE MIDST OF ALL OF IT?
  • 00:21:18.911 --> 00:21:20.913
  • YOU HAVE KIDS AT HOME ANDWE'RE GOING TO GET INTO
  • 00:21:20.913 --> 00:21:23.416
  • YOUR BLENDED FAMILY ALITTLE BIT HERE, BUT JUST
  • 00:21:23.416 --> 00:21:25.651
  • GIVE US A SENSE, WHATHAS LIFE BEEN LIKE FOR 2
  • 00:21:25.651 --> 00:21:28.488
  • PASTORS IN THE MIDSTOF THIS THING
  • 00:21:28.488 --> 00:21:30.323
  • MARRIED TOGETHER?
  • 00:21:30.323 --> 00:21:31.624
  • - WELL, I HAVE TO TELLYOU INITIALLY IT WAS
  • 00:21:31.624 --> 00:21:34.794
  • PROBABLY A LITTLE BITLIKE WHIPLASH JUST TRYING
  • 00:21:34.794 --> 00:21:37.196
  • TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WE DO,BUT THANKFULLY BECAUSE WE
  • 00:21:37.196 --> 00:21:40.433
  • USE TECHNOLOGY WITH BOTHOF THE CAMPUSES, IT WAS
  • 00:21:40.433 --> 00:21:42.835
  • AN EASY ADJUSTMENT FROMTHE SUNDAY ASPECT OF WHAT
  • 00:21:42.835 --> 00:21:46.038
  • WE DO, BUT I THINKTHAT WE'VE BEEN REALLY
  • 00:21:46.038 --> 00:21:48.808
  • GRATEFUL THAT WE'VE ABLETO STEP UP AND TO SERVE
  • 00:21:48.808 --> 00:21:51.344
  • OUR COMMUNITY IN AN EVENMORE IMPACTFUL WAY.
  • 00:21:51.344 --> 00:21:54.180
  • - WOW.
  • 00:21:54.180 --> 00:21:55.348
  • - AND WE WERE REALLYCHALLENGED TO FIND
  • 00:21:55.348 --> 00:21:56.883
  • GRATITUDE EVEN IN THEMIDST OF IT ALL, TO NOT
  • 00:21:56.883 --> 00:21:58.751
  • BE SO OVERWHELMED WITHWHAT WAS HAPPENING THAT
  • 00:21:58.751 --> 00:22:00.653
  • WE MISSED AN OPPORTUNITYTO SEE THE GOOD THAT WAS
  • 00:22:00.653 --> 00:22:03.423
  • UNFOLDING AND AS A TEAM,AS A FAMILY, AS A CHURCH
  • 00:22:03.423 --> 00:22:06.359
  • I BELIEVE WE'VE REALLYGROWN STRONGER BECAUSE
  • 00:22:06.359 --> 00:22:08.394
  • OF THE PANDEMIC.
  • 00:22:08.394 --> 00:22:10.430
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:22:10.430 --> 00:22:11.330
  • I WOULD CHIME IN THERE.
  • 00:22:11.330 --> 00:22:12.965
  • I WAS THINKING ABOUTDINNER AND WE'RE REALLY
  • 00:22:12.965 --> 00:22:14.967
  • METICULOUS ABOUT OUR DAYAND OUR SCHEDULE, BUT NOW
  • 00:22:14.967 --> 00:22:18.838
  • THAT, YOU KNOW, A LOT OFTHE THINGS THAT WOULD
  • 00:22:18.838 --> 00:22:20.873
  • KEEP US OUT OF THE HOUSEHAVE BEEN REMOVED, DINNER
  • 00:22:20.873 --> 00:22:24.243
  • TIME HAS BECOME ALL THEMORE SPECIAL, SO IN THE
  • 00:22:24.243 --> 00:22:26.746
  • MIDST OF, YOU KNOW, ATRYING SEASON, WE HAVE TO
  • 00:22:26.746 --> 00:22:30.082
  • SARAH'S POINT REALLYFOUND THE GOOD AND REALLY
  • 00:22:30.082 --> 00:22:33.886
  • HAVE NOURISHED THOSETHOUGHTS WITHIN
  • 00:22:33.886 --> 00:22:35.488
  • OUR FAMILY.
  • 00:22:35.488 --> 00:22:36.756
  • - I LOVE HEARING THAT.
  • 00:22:36.756 --> 00:22:37.924
  • YOU KNOW, IN OUR HOME WECALL IT THE HOUR THAT
  • 00:22:37.924 --> 00:22:39.392
  • MATTERS MOST.
  • 00:22:39.392 --> 00:22:40.927
  • THAT'S THE DINNER HOURBECAUSE THAT'S WHERE WE
  • 00:22:40.927 --> 00:22:43.429
  • CAN CONNECT OUR SPIRITSAND CHECK IN WITH
  • 00:22:43.429 --> 00:22:45.865
  • EVERYBODY AND HOW HAS ITBEEN GOING AND ZOOM CLASS
  • 00:22:45.865 --> 00:22:48.201
  • KIDS AND ALL THE REST --- YEAH, IT'S NOT
  • 00:22:48.201 --> 00:22:50.269
  • ABOUT THE GOURMET FOOD.
  • 00:22:50.269 --> 00:22:52.038
  • EVEN THOUGH WELOVE GOOD FOOD.
  • 00:22:52.038 --> 00:22:53.573
  • - IT'S PRETTY GOOD.
  • 00:22:53.573 --> 00:22:54.774
  • - BUT IT'S MORE ABOUTTHE FELLOWSHIP AND CONNECTION.
  • 00:22:54.774 --> 00:22:56.576
  • - ABSOLUTELY.
  • 00:22:56.576 --> 00:22:57.910
  • SO WELL, I'M SO -I GOTTAASK THIS THOUGH, HAVE YOU
  • 00:22:57.910 --> 00:23:01.747
  • HAD LIKE A QUARANTINE --- YEAH.
  • 00:23:01.747 --> 00:23:03.549
  • - QUARREL LIKE SOMEUNEXPECTED FIGHTS LIKE
  • 00:23:03.549 --> 00:23:07.053
  • WOW, WHERE DIDTHAT COME FROM?
  • 00:23:07.053 --> 00:23:09.222
  • ANYTHING COME TO MIND?
  • 00:23:09.222 --> 00:23:10.456
  • - OUR 11 YEAROLD AND A 4 YEAR OLD,
  • 00:23:10.456 --> 00:23:11.657
  • THEY NEED JESUS.
  • 00:23:11.657 --> 00:23:12.658
  • [ LAUGH ]
  • 00:23:12.658 --> 00:23:14.160
  • THEY NEED A LITTLESEPARATION.
  • 00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:16.195
  • THEY'RE 2 GIRLS, AND IDON'T KNOW HOW THE 11
  • 00:23:16.195 --> 00:23:19.799
  • YEAR OLD AND 4 YEAR OLDENDED UP HAVING ISSUES
  • 00:23:19.799 --> 00:23:21.467
  • OVER RING POPS,BUT THEY DO.
  • 00:23:21.467 --> 00:23:23.803
  • THEY NEED JESUS.
  • 00:23:23.803 --> 00:23:24.770
  • - THAT'S TRUE.
  • 00:23:24.770 --> 00:23:25.838
  • - THEY REALLY DO.
  • 00:23:25.838 --> 00:23:26.906
  • SO WE HAVE DELIVERANCESERVICES ON SATURDAY.
  • 00:23:26.906 --> 00:23:28.541
  • [ LAUGHTER ]
  • 00:23:28.541 --> 00:23:31.611
  • - THAT'S SO AWESOME.
  • 00:23:31.611 --> 00:23:33.112
  • - WELL, YOU GUYS DO HAVEA FULL MINISTRY YOU'RE
  • 00:23:33.112 --> 00:23:35.848
  • BALANCING, YOU'VE GOTA FULL FAMILY, WE'RE
  • 00:23:35.848 --> 00:23:38.551
  • HEARING ABOUT SOME OF THEAGES THAT YOU'VE GOT IN
  • 00:23:38.551 --> 00:23:40.486
  • YOUR FAMILY.
  • 00:23:40.486 --> 00:23:41.721
  • THERE'S A LOT OF BALANCEGOING ON IN YOUR HOME,
  • 00:23:41.721 --> 00:23:43.723
  • AND I KNOW LOTS OFMARRIED COUPLES ARE
  • 00:23:43.723 --> 00:23:45.391
  • EXPERIENCINGTHAT TENSION.
  • 00:23:45.391 --> 00:23:47.326
  • - ABSOLUTELY.
  • 00:23:47.326 --> 00:23:48.427
  • NO BIG SURPRISE THAT YOUHAVE A GREAT BOOK CALLED
  • 00:23:48.427 --> 00:23:49.829
  • BALANCE AS WELL, TOURE'.
  • 00:23:49.829 --> 00:23:51.397
  • SO LET'S GLEAN FROM WHATYOU'VE LEARNED IN ALL
  • 00:23:51.397 --> 00:23:54.233
  • THAT AND LET'S TALK ALITTLE BIT ABOUT FIRST OF
  • 00:23:54.233 --> 00:23:57.036
  • ALL, BALANCING LIFE WITHYOUR MARRIAGE BECAUSE SO
  • 00:23:57.036 --> 00:24:01.240
  • MANY OF US, WE'RE CALLINGTHIS PROGRAM, REFRESHING
  • 00:24:01.240 --> 00:24:03.743
  • YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, ANDWE NEED KIND OF SOME HELP
  • 00:24:03.743 --> 00:24:07.713
  • ON THAT BECAUSE EVEN INTHE MIDST OF COVID 19
  • 00:24:07.713 --> 00:24:10.750
  • WHEN WE'VE ALL BEENLOCKED UP IN OUR HOMES
  • 00:24:10.750 --> 00:24:12.485
  • AND STUFF, YOU THINK OH,WE HAVE SO MUCH TIME
  • 00:24:12.485 --> 00:24:14.620
  • TOGETHER DOESN'T TURN OUTTHAT WAY BECAUSE THE KIND
  • 00:24:14.620 --> 00:24:17.924
  • OF TIME WE'RE HAVING FORSOME OF US ISN'T THAT
  • 00:24:17.924 --> 00:24:19.625
  • PRODUCTIVE, LIKE THEBIGGEST CONVERSATION,
  • 00:24:19.625 --> 00:24:21.227
  • WELL, WHAT DID YOU THINKOF THE MOVIE ON NETFLIX
  • 00:24:21.227 --> 00:24:22.795
  • LAST NIGHT?
  • 00:24:22.795 --> 00:24:24.196
  • [ LAUGHTER ] SO TALK TOUS A LITTLE BIT ABOUT
  • 00:24:24.196 --> 00:24:27.867
  • SOME OF THE PRINCIPLES,BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES FOR
  • 00:24:27.867 --> 00:24:31.103
  • BALANCING YOURLIFE WITH MARRIAGE.
  • 00:24:31.103 --> 00:24:33.606
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:24:33.606 --> 00:24:34.874
  • I THINK ONE KEY BIBLICALPRINCIPLE IS THE
  • 00:24:34.874 --> 00:24:37.910
  • PRINCIPLE OFPRIORITIZATION.
  • 00:24:37.910 --> 00:24:39.745
  • EVEN JESUS TALKED ABOUT,HEY, I KNOW YOU'VE GOT
  • 00:24:39.745 --> 00:24:41.547
  • ALL THESE THINGS GOINGON, BUT SEEK FIRST THE
  • 00:24:41.547 --> 00:24:43.916
  • KINGDOM AND MYRIGHTEOUSNESS AND ALL THE
  • 00:24:43.916 --> 00:24:46.752
  • OTHER THINGS WILLBE ADDED UNTO YOU.
  • 00:24:46.752 --> 00:24:48.821
  • SO OBVIOUSLY THAT'S A BIGHUGE THOUGHT, BUT THE
  • 00:24:48.821 --> 00:24:52.191
  • POINT TO GLEAN ISPRIORITIZATION.
  • 00:24:52.191 --> 00:24:55.261
  • SO FOR US WE BELIEVE INBEING INTENTIONAL ABOUT
  • 00:24:55.261 --> 00:24:58.864
  • OUR PRIORITIZATION.
  • 00:24:58.864 --> 00:25:00.700
  • SO IT'S ONE THING TOPUT, YOU KNOW, WHAT'S
  • 00:25:00.700 --> 00:25:03.803
  • IMPORTANT TO YOU DOWN ONYOUR WHITE BOARD OR ON
  • 00:25:03.803 --> 00:25:06.172
  • WHATEVER YOU USE TOREMIND YOURSELF
  • 00:25:06.172 --> 00:25:08.741
  • DAILY OF THINGS.
  • 00:25:08.741 --> 00:25:10.076
  • IT'S ANOTHER THING TOBE INTENTIONAL ABOUT
  • 00:25:10.076 --> 00:25:12.345
  • PROTECTING THE THINGSTHAT YOU PRIORITIZE, AND
  • 00:25:12.345 --> 00:25:14.547
  • SO FOR US, YOU KNOW, WELITERALLY HAVE, I CAN
  • 00:25:14.547 --> 00:25:17.984
  • SHOW IT TO YOU, WE HAVEIT WRITTEN OUT THE THINGS
  • 00:25:17.984 --> 00:25:20.786
  • THAT MATTER TO US THEMOST, AND HOW WE ARE
  • 00:25:20.786 --> 00:25:23.322
  • GOING TO PRAGMATICALLYEMPLOY BEHAVIOR AND
  • 00:25:23.322 --> 00:25:27.827
  • DISCIPLINES TO MAKECERTAIN THOSE THINGS
  • 00:25:27.827 --> 00:25:29.395
  • TAKE PLACE.
  • 00:25:29.395 --> 00:25:30.730
  • I VOCIFEROUSLYGUARD MY CALENDAR.
  • 00:25:30.730 --> 00:25:33.833
  • YOU GET A LESS PLEASANTTOURE' IF YOU CUT INTO MY
  • 00:25:33.833 --> 00:25:36.369
  • FAMILY TIME.
  • 00:25:36.369 --> 00:25:38.170
  • [ LAUGHTER ] OR IF YOU CUTINTO MY TIME WITH MY WIFE.
  • 00:25:38.170 --> 00:25:40.172
  • EVEN THE KIDS SOMETIME,THEY'RE KNOCKING ON THE
  • 00:25:40.172 --> 00:25:42.341
  • DOOR AND WE'RE LIKE NO,WE'VE SET THIS TIME ASIDE
  • 00:25:42.341 --> 00:25:45.511
  • TO BE WITH ONE ANOTHER,TO CONNECT, AND WE LOVE
  • 00:25:45.511 --> 00:25:48.314
  • YOU CHILDREN, BUT YOUCAN'T HAVE US RIGHT NOW.
  • 00:25:48.314 --> 00:25:51.283
  • YOUR TIME IS SATURDAYMORNING, SO AND SO.
  • 00:25:51.283 --> 00:25:53.619
  • SO I THINK FOR US,JUST PRIORITIZATION
  • 00:25:53.619 --> 00:25:56.722
  • AND INTENTIONALITY HASREALLY BEEN SOMETHING
  • 00:25:56.722 --> 00:25:58.758
  • WE'VE BEEN SERIOUS ABOUT.
  • 00:25:58.758 --> 00:26:00.826
  • - I LOVE IT THAT YOUHAVE A WHITE BOARD IN
  • 00:26:00.826 --> 00:26:03.162
  • YOUR HOME SOMEPLACE WITHYOUR PRIORITIES WRITTEN
  • 00:26:03.162 --> 00:26:05.998
  • OUT ON THAT. WE HAD AWHITE BOARD FOR A WHILE,
  • 00:26:05.998 --> 00:26:08.634
  • DO YOU REMEMBER THIS,IN OUR PANTRY?
  • 00:26:08.634 --> 00:26:10.236
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:26:10.236 --> 00:26:11.671
  • - WE CAME ACROSS SOMERESEARCH, I DID, THAT
  • 00:26:11.671 --> 00:26:14.106
  • SHOWS HOW MANY POSITIVESTATEMENTS VERSUS
  • 00:26:14.106 --> 00:26:16.709
  • NEGATIVE STATEMENTS ITTAKES TO BALANCE THAT OUT.
  • 00:26:16.709 --> 00:26:18.911
  • - WE WOULD TALLY.
  • 00:26:18.911 --> 00:26:20.212
  • - I LITERALLY WASTALLYING THAT.
  • 00:26:20.212 --> 00:26:22.314
  • THAT'S NOT SOMETHING IRECOMMEND COUPLES TO DO.
  • 00:26:22.314 --> 00:26:24.884
  • THAT DID NOT TURNOUT WELL FOR US.
  • 00:26:24.884 --> 00:26:26.552
  • - THAT'S NOT THEPOSITIVE PRIORITIZATION
  • 00:26:26.552 --> 00:26:29.021
  • WE'RE LOOKING AT, BUT THEBOUNDARY YOU'RE TALKING
  • 00:26:29.021 --> 00:26:32.091
  • ABOUT THAT YOU KEPTAROUND THAT TIME,
  • 00:26:32.091 --> 00:26:34.894
  • THAT'S AMAZING.
  • 00:26:34.894 --> 00:26:36.662
  • WHENEVER YOU SET THATPRIORITY AND YOU KEEP THE
  • 00:26:36.662 --> 00:26:38.564
  • BOUNDARY, WOW,THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
  • 00:26:38.564 --> 00:26:40.966
  • - AND SARAH, DOESTHAT WORK FOR YOU TOO?
  • 00:26:40.966 --> 00:26:42.935
  • I MEAN, BECAUSE IT'S ONETHING TO JUST SAY HEY,
  • 00:26:42.935 --> 00:26:45.738
  • WE'RE GONNA PUT OURPRIORITIES UP HERE,
  • 00:26:45.738 --> 00:26:47.973
  • BUT YOU HAVE TO AGREEON WHAT WE'RE
  • 00:26:47.973 --> 00:26:49.575
  • PRIORITIZING AS WELL, RIGHT?
  • 00:26:49.575 --> 00:26:52.311
  • - THAT'S A GREAT POINT.- WE DID.
  • 00:26:52.311 --> 00:26:55.414
  • WE AGREE ABOUT, WEDEFINITELY HAVE A MEETING
  • 00:26:55.414 --> 00:26:56.982
  • OF THE MINDS, A STRATEGYMEETING FOR OUR FAMILY TO
  • 00:26:56.982 --> 00:26:59.118
  • DETERMINE WHAT THOSEGOALS, WHAT THOSE
  • 00:26:59.118 --> 00:27:01.087
  • PRIORITIZATIONSARE GOING TO BE.
  • 00:27:01.087 --> 00:27:03.255
  • I THINK ANOTHER THINGTHAT'S REALLY HELPED US
  • 00:27:03.255 --> 00:27:05.091
  • IN THE MIDDLE OF THEPANDEMIC IS BEING
  • 00:27:05.091 --> 00:27:07.026
  • SENSITIVE TO WHEN THEOTHER PERSON NEEDS
  • 00:27:07.026 --> 00:27:09.161
  • TIME TO THEMSELVES.
  • 00:27:09.161 --> 00:27:10.730
  • ALL THROUGHOUT THE BIBLE,WE SEE JESUS TAKING A
  • 00:27:10.730 --> 00:27:13.132
  • MOMENT TO HIMSELF, EVENAWAY FROM THE DISCIPLES,
  • 00:27:13.132 --> 00:27:15.901
  • AND I THINK IT SPEAKSTO THE REFRESHING THAT
  • 00:27:15.901 --> 00:27:18.571
  • HAPPENS WHEN WE HAVE ANOPPORTUNITY TO BE IN THE
  • 00:27:18.571 --> 00:27:20.706
  • PRESENCE OF GOD, TO SORTTHROUGH OUR FEELINGS,
  • 00:27:20.706 --> 00:27:22.708
  • TO SORT THROUGH OUREMOTIONS, AND IT CAN BE
  • 00:27:22.708 --> 00:27:24.944
  • HARD WHEN YOU'RE INA HOUSE WITH SO MANY
  • 00:27:24.944 --> 00:27:26.912
  • RESPONSIBILITIES, SOWHEN MY HUSBAND TAKES A
  • 00:27:26.912 --> 00:27:29.815
  • MOMENT, HE'S LIKE "I'MGOING ON A MOTORCYCLE
  • 00:27:29.815 --> 00:27:31.584
  • RIDE," I'M SENSITIVE TOHIM HAVING HIS SPACE
  • 00:27:31.584 --> 00:27:34.320
  • TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT.
  • 00:27:34.320 --> 00:27:35.521
  • AND THE SAME FOR ME, WHENI'M LIKE "BABE, CAN YOU
  • 00:27:35.521 --> 00:27:37.123
  • HOLD THE KIDS BACK" WHENI'M ABLE TO TAKE A BATH
  • 00:27:37.123 --> 00:27:39.658
  • AND JUST KIND OF FORMYSELF UNWIND FOR MYSELF
  • 00:27:39.658 --> 00:27:41.894
  • BECAUSE WE ARE SOLIMITED ON OUTLETS.
  • 00:27:41.894 --> 00:27:44.263
  • SO BEING SENSITIVE TO OURPARTNER, "I THINK YOU
  • 00:27:44.263 --> 00:27:46.699
  • SHOULD GO ON A RIDE," "ITHINK YOU SHOULD TAKE A
  • 00:27:46.699 --> 00:27:48.134
  • BATH," AND I'M GONNACREATE AN ENVIRONMENT FOR
  • 00:27:48.134 --> 00:27:50.836
  • YOU TO DO THAT BECAUSE ALOT OF TIMES IT'S LIKE
  • 00:27:50.836 --> 00:27:52.505
  • YOU NEED TIME TOYOURSELF, IT'S HOW IS
  • 00:27:52.505 --> 00:27:54.140
  • THAT GONNA HAPPEN, BUTPARTNERING SO THE OTHER
  • 00:27:54.140 --> 00:27:56.475
  • PERSON CAN SEETHEMSELVES, SEE WHERE GOD
  • 00:27:56.475 --> 00:27:59.111
  • NEEDS TO HEAL THEM, SEEWHERE THEY NEED TO MAYBE
  • 00:27:59.111 --> 00:28:01.947
  • PROCESS AND THEN SHOW UPBACK INTO THE FAMILY UNIT
  • 00:28:01.947 --> 00:28:04.250
  • AS A BETTER MOREVULNERABLE VERSION OF
  • 00:28:04.250 --> 00:28:07.052
  • THEMSELVES AND NOT SOMEONEWHO'S JUST ON AUTO PILOT.
  • 00:28:07.052 --> 00:28:09.889
  • - THAT'S A GREAT POINT.
  • 00:28:09.889 --> 00:28:11.524
  • AND I LOVE THAT BECAUSE,EVEN THOUGH WE'RE
  • 00:28:11.524 --> 00:28:13.626
  • FOCUSED ON OUR LOVELIFE AS A COUPLE,
  • 00:28:13.626 --> 00:28:17.263
  • THERE'S TIMES THAT YOU NEED--
  • 00:28:17.263 --> 00:28:18.430
  • - TO GET HEALTHY.
  • 00:28:18.430 --> 00:28:19.765
  • I LOVE THAT WORD ABOUTCREATING AN ENVIRONMENT
  • 00:28:19.765 --> 00:28:22.868
  • BECAUSE WHEN WE START TOSEE OUR PARTNER NOT BE
  • 00:28:22.868 --> 00:28:25.471
  • THE BEST VERSION OFTHEMSELVES, WE CAN CREATE
  • 00:28:25.471 --> 00:28:27.840
  • AN ENVIRONMENT WHERETHEY CAN REFRESH.
  • 00:28:27.840 --> 00:28:29.909
  • - YOU HAVEN'T ENCOUNTEREDTHAT VERY MUCH, HAVE YOU?
  • 00:28:29.909 --> 00:28:31.977
  • - MAYBE WHEN YOU'REDOING THE TALLIES
  • 00:28:31.977 --> 00:28:33.679
  • ON THE WHITE BOARD.
  • 00:28:33.679 --> 00:28:35.181
  • - I'LL TELL YOU THIS,ONE THING I HAVE LEARNED
  • 00:28:35.181 --> 00:28:37.149
  • DURING THE PANDEMIC ISTHAT IT IS A GIFT TO GIVE
  • 00:28:37.149 --> 00:28:40.085
  • HER, LIKE, THIS LITTLECATNAP IN THE AFTERNOONS,
  • 00:28:40.085 --> 00:28:43.289
  • AND YOU DIDN'TUSED TO DO THAT.
  • 00:28:43.289 --> 00:28:44.590
  • - YOU ADDED MY CATNAPS.
  • 00:28:44.590 --> 00:28:46.125
  • - SHE GOES INTOTHE GUEST ROOM.
  • 00:28:46.125 --> 00:28:47.993
  • AT FIRST SHE WAS SNEAKINGIN THERE AND I'M LIKE
  • 00:28:47.993 --> 00:28:49.528
  • WHERE DID SHE GO, SHE'SIN THE GUEST ROOM, WHAT
  • 00:28:49.528 --> 00:28:51.831
  • ARE YOU DOING IN HERE,AND SHE'S CUDDLED UP
  • 00:28:51.831 --> 00:28:53.065
  • WITH A BLANKET. ANDNOW I REALIZE I JUST
  • 00:28:53.065 --> 00:28:54.900
  • HAVE A BETTER SPOUSEAFTER THOSE NAPS.
  • 00:28:54.900 --> 00:28:58.537
  • - YEAH, WHEN WE CREATETHE ENVIRONMENT, WE GET
  • 00:28:58.537 --> 00:29:01.507
  • THE GRACE BACK, DON'T WE.
  • 00:29:01.507 --> 00:29:04.076
  • LOVE THAT STRONGWORD YOU GUYS.
  • 00:29:04.076 --> 00:29:06.145
  • - SO LET'S TALK.
  • 00:29:06.145 --> 00:29:07.546
  • - I LOVE THAT.
  • 00:29:07.546 --> 00:29:08.714
  • - SHIFT GEARS SLIGHTLYHERE BECAUSE YOU GUYS, I
  • 00:29:08.714 --> 00:29:11.617
  • KNOW ARE JUST, YOU KNOWABOUT LIFE IN A BLENDER.
  • 00:29:11.617 --> 00:29:16.322
  • AS SOON AS I SAY THAT,YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT
  • 00:29:16.322 --> 00:29:18.190
  • I'M TALKING ABOUT.FOR THOSE THAT DON'T,
  • 00:29:18.190 --> 00:29:20.192
  • YOU HAVE BLENDED A FAMILYAND THAT IS NOT EASY.
  • 00:29:20.192 --> 00:29:23.629
  • - THERE'S AN ART TO THAT.- YEAH.
  • 00:29:23.629 --> 00:29:25.598
  • IN FACT, I HAVE A FRIENDWHO'S WRITTEN BOOKS ON
  • 00:29:25.598 --> 00:29:29.101
  • BLENDED FAMILY, AND HESAYS IT'S AKIN TO GETTING
  • 00:29:29.101 --> 00:29:31.537
  • A 3D PUZZLE TO PUTTOGETHER WITH NO PICTURE
  • 00:29:31.537 --> 00:29:35.274
  • ON THE BOX. RIGHT? ITIS NOT EASY TO DO.
  • 00:29:35.274 --> 00:29:39.645
  • SO YOU GUYS HAVEDONE IT HOW MANY?
  • 00:29:39.645 --> 00:29:41.814
  • RUN THROUGH THE KIDS,AND ROUGH AGES, AND HOW
  • 00:29:41.814 --> 00:29:45.251
  • YOU'RE DOING, AND ANYADVICE YOU HAVE FOR THOSE
  • 00:29:45.251 --> 00:29:47.853
  • OUT THERE THAT ARE TRYINGTO DO THE SAME THING.
  • 00:29:47.853 --> 00:29:50.256
  • - SO WHAT, WE'VEGOT SIX TOTAL.
  • 00:29:50.256 --> 00:29:52.625
  • SARAH HAD TWO, I HADTHREE, AND THEN WE HAVE
  • 00:29:52.625 --> 00:29:58.297
  • ONE TOGETHER, SO ATOTAL OF SIX TOGETHER.
  • 00:29:58.297 --> 00:30:00.766
  • THE YOUNGEST IS FOUR,ELEVEN, AND THEN
  • 00:30:00.766 --> 00:30:04.169
  • WE HAVE TWO BOYSTHAT ARE BOTH 18.
  • 00:30:04.169 --> 00:30:07.640
  • AND SO WE CAME TOGETHERWHEN THEY WERE BOTH 11,
  • 00:30:07.640 --> 00:30:10.276
  • AND THEY'RE LITERALLYTHREE WEEKS APART.
  • 00:30:10.276 --> 00:30:12.144
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:30:12.144 --> 00:30:13.212
  • - THREE WEEKS APART, SOTHEY'RE LIKE RIGHT THERE
  • 00:30:13.212 --> 00:30:14.613
  • THE SAME AGE BUTCOMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
  • 00:30:14.613 --> 00:30:16.615
  • YOU KIND OF HAVE A WAYTHAT YOU DESCRIBE THEM.
  • 00:30:16.615 --> 00:30:18.217
  • - YES, I LIKE TO EXPLAINONE IS FRESH PRINCE, THE
  • 00:30:18.217 --> 00:30:20.085
  • OTHER IS CARLTON, SO ITWORKS OUT PERFECTLY
  • 00:30:20.085 --> 00:30:22.187
  • IN OUR FAMILY.
  • 00:30:22.187 --> 00:30:23.622
  • [LAUGHTER]
  • 00:30:23.622 --> 00:30:27.159
  • - DOES ONE OFTHEM DO THE DANCE?
  • 00:30:27.159 --> 00:30:29.495
  • DOES HE HAVE THEDANCE THING TOO?
  • 00:30:29.495 --> 00:30:31.163
  • - HE DOES HAVE A DANCE.HE'S GOT A SHUFFLE.
  • 00:30:31.163 --> 00:30:34.300
  • I'M NOT AT LIBERTY TODEMONSTRATE IT BUT
  • 00:30:34.300 --> 00:30:36.435
  • IT'S A LITTLE SHUFFLE.
  • 00:30:36.435 --> 00:30:38.671
  • - NICE.
  • 00:30:38.671 --> 00:30:41.006
  • - AND THEN OUR TWOGIRLS, OUR TWO OLDEST ARE
  • 00:30:41.006 --> 00:30:43.509
  • 22 AND 24.
  • 00:30:43.509 --> 00:30:46.345
  • - YEAH, 24.
  • 00:30:46.345 --> 00:30:47.513
  • - 24 AND 22.
  • 00:30:47.513 --> 00:30:49.148
  • SO AND ALL OFTHEM LIVE AT HOME.
  • 00:30:49.148 --> 00:30:51.517
  • - YES.- WOW.
  • 00:30:51.517 --> 00:30:53.052
  • - FULL TIME.
  • 00:30:53.052 --> 00:30:54.453
  • - THAT'S WILD.
  • 00:30:54.453 --> 00:30:55.654
  • I BET THAT DINNER HOURIS AMAZING, RIGHT?
  • 00:30:55.654 --> 00:30:57.957
  • - IT IS.
  • 00:30:57.957 --> 00:31:00.426
  • - FOR THOSE THAT ARE OUTTHERE THAT ARE MAYBE ON
  • 00:31:00.426 --> 00:31:02.628
  • THE FRONT END OF THISIN PARTICULAR, BECAUSE
  • 00:31:02.628 --> 00:31:04.463
  • ACTUALLY ONE THING I KNOWIS THE RESEARCH SHOWS IT
  • 00:31:04.463 --> 00:31:07.666
  • TAKES ABOUT SEVEN YEARSTO FIND THE EQUILIBRIUM
  • 00:31:07.666 --> 00:31:11.437
  • AS A FAMILY, SO YOU GUYSARE JUST HITTING YOUR
  • 00:31:11.437 --> 00:31:14.406
  • GROOVE RIGHT NOW ON THAT.
  • 00:31:14.406 --> 00:31:17.309
  • AND LOTS OF COUPLES GETDISCOURAGED BECAUSE
  • 00:31:17.309 --> 00:31:20.346
  • THEY'RE A YEAR INTO THISAND THEY'RE THINKING THIS
  • 00:31:20.346 --> 00:31:22.648
  • IS JUST, I DON'T KNOW HOWWE'RE GONNA MAKE THIS
  • 00:31:22.648 --> 00:31:24.550
  • WORK BECAUSE THERE'SFRICTION BETWEEN SIBLINGS
  • 00:31:24.550 --> 00:31:27.419
  • AND NEW SIBLINGSAND ALL THE REST.
  • 00:31:27.419 --> 00:31:29.488
  • WHAT'S ONE LITTLE GEMTHAT YOU COULD PASS
  • 00:31:29.488 --> 00:31:32.291
  • ALONG, ONE LITTLE PEARLOF WISDOM FOR COUPLES
  • 00:31:32.291 --> 00:31:35.694
  • JUST STARTING OFFDOWN THIS PATH.
  • 00:31:35.694 --> 00:31:37.796
  • - I WOULD SAY DON'T GIVEUP BEFORE YOU GROW UP.
  • 00:31:37.796 --> 00:31:41.467
  • AND WHAT I MEAN BY THATIS THAT THERE IS
  • 00:31:41.467 --> 00:31:45.304
  • A LEARNING CURVE.
  • 00:31:45.304 --> 00:31:46.839
  • THERE IS, YOU'VE GOT THEHUSBAND AND WIFE THAT ARE
  • 00:31:46.839 --> 00:31:49.908
  • STILL LEARNING EACH OTHERAND HOW TO LIVE TOGETHER,
  • 00:31:49.908 --> 00:31:52.978
  • ETC, YOU'VE GOT EACHINDIVIDUAL CHILD,
  • 00:31:52.978 --> 00:31:55.681
  • WHICH IS THEY'RETHEIR OWN ENTITY
  • 00:31:55.681 --> 00:31:59.218
  • AND THEY'RE PROCESSING.
  • 00:31:59.218 --> 00:32:01.520
  • TYPICALLY, WHEN YOU'REBLENDING A FAMILY,
  • 00:32:01.520 --> 00:32:04.089
  • THERE'S A BACK STORY,A DIVORCE, AN ABSENTEE
  • 00:32:04.089 --> 00:32:08.527
  • PARENT PERHAPS, ALL THESESORT OF THINGS, SO YOU'VE
  • 00:32:08.527 --> 00:32:10.796
  • GOT THIS WHOLE UNIVERSEOF EMOTIONS, AND GROWTH,
  • 00:32:10.796 --> 00:32:15.934
  • AND PROCESSING,AND IT TAKES TIME.
  • 00:32:15.934 --> 00:32:18.237
  • AND SO I WOULD SAY DON'TGIVE UP BEFORE YOU GROW UP.
  • 00:32:18.237 --> 00:32:20.906
  • YOU'VE HEARD IT BEFORE,
  • 00:32:20.906 --> 00:32:22.474
  • THE DARKEST HOUR ISRIGHT BEFORE DAY.
  • 00:32:22.474 --> 00:32:24.877
  • AND YOU KNOW, TO BEHONEST, WE'VE HAD A
  • 00:32:24.877 --> 00:32:27.546
  • PRETTY SMOOTH JOURNEY OFBLENDING COMPARED TO WHAT
  • 00:32:27.546 --> 00:32:31.517
  • WE'VE HEARD, BUTWE'VE ALSO BEEN VERY
  • 00:32:31.517 --> 00:32:34.153
  • INTENTIONAL ABOUT WALKINGTOGETHER, BEING PATIENT,
  • 00:32:34.153 --> 00:32:37.723
  • AND LETTING OUR CHILDRENALONG WITH US
  • 00:32:37.723 --> 00:32:39.892
  • WALK THE PROCESS OUT.
  • 00:32:39.892 --> 00:32:42.461
  • - YEAH, I THINK ONE OFTHE THINGS THAT REALLY
  • 00:32:42.461 --> 00:32:44.263
  • HELPED US IS AS WE WERENAVIGATING, WE WOULD HAVE
  • 00:32:44.263 --> 00:32:46.698
  • THINGS THAT CAME UPTHAT WERE SENSITIVE.
  • 00:32:46.698 --> 00:32:48.700
  • AND A LOT OF TIMES INA BLENDED FAMILY, WHEN
  • 00:32:48.700 --> 00:32:50.135
  • SOMETHING IS SENSITIVE,IT BECOMES OFF LIMITS.
  • 00:32:50.135 --> 00:32:52.604
  • BUT WE PUSHED PAST THATIDEA OF WE'RE NOT GONNA
  • 00:32:52.604 --> 00:32:55.307
  • TALK ABOUT THAT, OR DON'TTALK ABOUT MY CHILD, AND
  • 00:32:55.307 --> 00:32:57.810
  • WE DECIDED TO CONVERSEABOUT WHAT DID THAT
  • 00:32:57.810 --> 00:33:00.045
  • FEEL LIKE WHEN I SAIDTHAT TO YOU?
  • 00:33:00.045 --> 00:33:01.814
  • HOW CAN I SAY ITIN A BETTER WAY?
  • 00:33:01.814 --> 00:33:03.782
  • WHEN DO YOU WANTTO TALK ABOUT IT?
  • 00:33:03.782 --> 00:33:05.684
  • JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING ISSENSITIVE DOESN'T MEAN IT
  • 00:33:05.684 --> 00:33:07.586
  • SHOULD BE OFF LIMITS,BUT IT TAKES TIME AND
  • 00:33:07.586 --> 00:33:09.822
  • PATIENCE TO REALLYNAVIGATE HOW DO WE ENTER
  • 00:33:09.822 --> 00:33:12.591
  • INTO DELICATE SITUATIONSWHERE WE'RE SENSITIVE TO
  • 00:33:12.591 --> 00:33:15.427
  • THE PARTNER OR THE CHILDTHAT'S ON THE OTHER SIDE.
  • 00:33:15.427 --> 00:33:18.297
  • - YOU KNOW, MORE THANGETTING IT RIGHT, YOU
  • 00:33:18.297 --> 00:33:21.900
  • KNOW AND HAVING IT BESO NEAT AND CLEAN AND
  • 00:33:21.900 --> 00:33:24.603
  • PRISTINE FOR US ISTHE ENVIRONMENT.
  • 00:33:24.603 --> 00:33:27.506
  • EVEN IF IT GETS MESSY,JUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE
  • 00:33:27.506 --> 00:33:30.542
  • LOVED, YOU ARE HEARD,YOU'RE SEEN,
  • 00:33:30.542 --> 00:33:33.145
  • YOU'RE UNDERSTOOD.
  • 00:33:33.145 --> 00:33:34.313
  • WE CAN HANDLE THE MESS,BUT WE JUST WANT IT TO
  • 00:33:34.313 --> 00:33:37.516
  • WANT IT CONSISTENTLY TOCREATE THAT ENVIRONMENT
  • 00:33:37.516 --> 00:33:40.085
  • WHERE PEOPLE CAN BEVULNERABLE BECAUSE
  • 00:33:40.085 --> 00:33:42.221
  • WE FEEL LIKE THAT'SHOW WE GOT CLOSE,
  • 00:33:42.221 --> 00:33:44.523
  • HOW WE WORKED THINGS OUT.
  • 00:33:44.523 --> 00:33:46.258
  • - AWESOME. I LOVE IT.
  • 00:33:46.258 --> 00:33:48.060
  • DON'T GIVE UP UNTILYOU GROW UP TOGETHER.
  • 00:33:48.060 --> 00:33:51.330
  • I LOVE THAT PIECE.
  • 00:33:51.330 --> 00:33:52.397
  • I HAVE A FEELING THATMIGHT HAVE BEEN ON THAT
  • 00:33:52.397 --> 00:33:53.966
  • WHITE BOARD IN YOURHOME AT ONE POINT.
  • 00:33:53.966 --> 00:33:55.834
  • [LAUGHTER]
  • 00:33:55.834 --> 00:33:58.370
  • YOU GUYS, WHAT ADELIGHT TO BE WITH YOU.
  • 00:33:58.370 --> 00:34:00.038
  • AND SARAH, YOUR BOOK"DON'T SETTLE FOR SAFE",
  • 00:34:00.038 --> 00:34:04.643
  • PEOPLE CAN FIND THAT ANDYOUR BOOK TROURE ON BALANCE.
  • 00:34:04.643 --> 00:34:09.114
  • GREAT RESOURCES.
  • 00:34:09.114 --> 00:34:11.416
  • WE JUST CAN'T SAY THANKSENOUGH FOR JOINING US AND
  • 00:34:11.416 --> 00:34:14.052
  • HELPING US ALL REFRESHOUR RELATIONSHIPS
  • 00:34:14.052 --> 00:34:16.522
  • A LITTLE BIT.
  • 00:34:16.522 --> 00:34:17.890
  • SO CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUIN-PERSON DOWN THE ROAD.
  • 00:34:17.890 --> 00:34:20.325
  • WE'LL GO HAVE DINNERSOMEPLACE IN LOS ANGELES,
  • 00:34:20.325 --> 00:34:22.427
  • BUT THANKS FOR BEINGWITH US TONIGHT.
  • 00:34:22.427 --> 00:34:23.829
  • - THANK YOU.
  • 00:34:23.829 --> 00:34:25.130
  • - THANK YOU FOLKS SO MUCH.
  • 00:34:25.130 --> 00:34:26.465
  • ♪♪
  • 00:34:26.465 --> 00:34:32.471
  • ♪ I'VE BEEN AWALKIN' HEARTACHE...
  • 00:34:32.471 --> 00:34:35.574
  • ♪ I'VE MADE A MESS OF ME...
  • 00:34:35.574 --> 00:34:38.577
  • ♪ THE PERSON THATI'VE BEEN LATELY...
  • 00:34:38.577 --> 00:34:41.880
  • ♪ AIN'T WHO I WANNA BE...
  • 00:34:41.880 --> 00:34:44.249
  • ♪ BUT YOU STAY HERERIGHT BESIDE ME...
  • 00:34:44.249 --> 00:34:48.086
  • ♪ AND WATCH AS THESTORM BLOWS THROUGH...
  • 00:34:48.086 --> 00:34:50.789
  • ♪ AND I NEED YOU...
  • 00:34:50.789 --> 00:34:56.929
  • ♪ GOD GAVE ME YOU FORTHE UPS AND DOWNS...
  • 00:34:56.929 --> 00:35:03.202
  • ♪ GOD GAVE ME YOU FORTHE DAYS OF DOUBT...
  • 00:35:03.202 --> 00:35:09.141
  • ♪ AND FOR WHEN ITHINK I LOST MY WAY...
  • 00:35:09.141 --> 00:35:12.211
  • ♪ THERE ARE NO WORDSHERE LEFT TO SAY...
  • 00:35:12.211 --> 00:35:15.180
  • ♪ IT'S TRUE, GODGAVE ME YOU...
  • 00:35:15.180 --> 00:35:25.090
  • ♪♪
  • 00:35:25.090 --> 00:35:34.533
  • ♪ THERE'S MORE HERE THANWHAT WE'RE SEEIN'...
  • 00:35:34.533 --> 00:35:38.437
  • ♪ A DIVINE CONSPIRACY...
  • 00:35:38.437 --> 00:35:41.373
  • ♪ THAT YOU, ANANGEL LOVELY...
  • 00:35:41.373 --> 00:35:45.110
  • ♪ COULD SOMEHOWFALL FOR ME...
  • 00:35:45.110 --> 00:35:48.180
  • ♪ YOU'LL ALWAYS BELOVE'S GREAT MARTYR...
  • 00:35:48.180 --> 00:35:51.450
  • ♪ AND I'LL BE THEFLATTERED FOOL...
  • 00:35:51.450 --> 00:35:54.019
  • ♪ AND I NEED YOU...
  • 00:35:54.019 --> 00:35:58.957
  • ♪ YEAH!
  • 00:35:58.957 --> 00:36:00.359
  • ♪ GOD GAVE ME YOU FORTHE UPS AND DOWNS...
  • 00:36:00.359 --> 00:36:06.498
  • ♪ GOD GAVE ME YOU FORTHE DAYS OF DOUBT...
  • 00:36:06.498 --> 00:36:12.304
  • ♪ AND FOR WHEN ITHINK I LOST MY WAY...
  • 00:36:12.304 --> 00:36:15.340
  • ♪ THERE ARE NO WORDSHERE LEFT TO SAY...
  • 00:36:15.340 --> 00:36:18.310
  • ♪ IT'S TRUE, GODGAVE ME YOU...
  • 00:36:18.310 --> 00:36:26.618
  • ♪ ON MY OWN I'M ONLY...
  • 00:36:26.618 --> 00:36:29.321
  • ♪ HALF OF WHAT I COULD BE...
  • 00:36:29.321 --> 00:36:31.923
  • ♪ I CAN'T DO WITHOUT YOU...
  • 00:36:31.923 --> 00:36:38.697
  • ♪ WE ARE STITCHED TOGETHER...
  • 00:36:38.697 --> 00:36:41.933
  • ♪ AND WHAT LOVEHAS TETHERED...
  • 00:36:41.933 --> 00:36:44.469
  • ♪ I PRAY WE NEVER UNDO...
  • 00:36:44.469 --> 00:36:50.709
  • ♪ GOD GAVE ME YOU FORTHE UPS AND DOWNS...
  • 00:36:50.709 --> 00:36:56.982
  • ♪ GOD GAVE ME YOU FORTHE DAYS OF DOUBT...
  • 00:36:56.982 --> 00:37:03.288
  • ♪ GOD GAVE ME YOU FORTHE UPS AND DOWNS...
  • 00:37:03.288 --> 00:37:09.594
  • ♪ GOD GAVE ME YOU FOR THEDAYS OF DOUBT...
  • 00:37:09.594 --> 00:37:15.434
  • ♪ AND FOR WHEN I THINKI LOST MY WAY...
  • 00:37:15.434 --> 00:37:18.537
  • ♪ THERE ARE NO WORDSHERE LEFT TO SAY...
  • 00:37:18.537 --> 00:37:21.540
  • ♪ IT'S TRUE, GODGAVE ME YOU...
  • 00:37:21.540 --> 00:37:33.585
  • ♪ GAVE ME YOU...
  • 00:37:33.585 --> 00:37:39.191
  • ♪ HE GAVE ME YOU ♪♪
  • 00:37:39.825 --> 00:37:47.933
  • ♪ [MUSIC] ♪
  • 00:37:47.933 --> 00:38:01.018
  • ♪♪
  • 00:38:01.018 --> 00:38:05.228
  • - WELL, OUR NEXT GUESTDOESN'T NEED MUCH OF AN
  • 00:38:05.228 --> 00:38:07.830
  • INTRODUCTION BECAUSE ALLYOU HAVE TO DO IS SAY TWO
  • 00:38:07.830 --> 00:38:10.233
  • WORDS: LOVE AND RESPECT.
  • 00:38:10.233 --> 00:38:12.668
  • NEW YORK TIMESBESTSELLING AUTHOR,
  • 00:38:12.668 --> 00:38:15.004
  • EMERSON, IT'S GOODTO BE WITH YOU.
  • 00:38:15.004 --> 00:38:16.539
  • THANKS FOR JOINING US ONTHIS REFRESH PROGRAM.
  • 00:38:16.539 --> 00:38:19.075
  • - NO, THANK YOULES AND LESLIE.
  • 00:38:19.075 --> 00:38:20.810
  • I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARDTO IT. THANK YOU.
  • 00:38:20.810 --> 00:38:22.745
  • - AND I KNOW YOU'RE COMINGTO US FROM MICHIGAN.
  • 00:38:22.745 --> 00:38:25.248
  • HOW HAVE YOU AND SARAHBEEN DOING IN THE MIDST
  • 00:38:25.248 --> 00:38:28.017
  • OF ALL THE CRAZINESS THATWE'VE ALL BEEN GOING
  • 00:38:28.017 --> 00:38:30.953
  • THROUGH, IN THE MIDSTOF THE PANDEMIC?
  • 00:38:30.953 --> 00:38:33.489
  • ARE YOU STILLHANGING IN THERE?
  • 00:38:33.489 --> 00:38:35.358
  • - WE ARE.
  • 00:38:35.358 --> 00:38:36.492
  • AND ONE OF THE DELIGHTSIN THE MIDST OF MANY OF
  • 00:38:36.492 --> 00:38:38.094
  • THE FRUSTRATIONS THAT ALLOF US HAVE EXPERIENCED,
  • 00:38:38.094 --> 00:38:40.229
  • MY DAUGHTER WHO LIVES INPARIS FRANCE WITH HER
  • 00:38:40.229 --> 00:38:42.765
  • HUSBAND WHO WORKS OVERTHERE AND THEIR TWO
  • 00:38:42.765 --> 00:38:45.268
  • CHILDREN WERE ABLE TOCOME AND BE WITH US
  • 00:38:45.268 --> 00:38:48.070
  • DURING THIS TIME, AND WEHAD NOT MET OUR YOUNGEST
  • 00:38:48.070 --> 00:38:50.506
  • GRANDSON, EMERSON, NAMEDAFTER ME, SO IT'S BEEN A
  • 00:38:50.506 --> 00:38:53.576
  • REAL JOY FOR US TO HAVEMILLIE AND EMERSON IN THE
  • 00:38:53.576 --> 00:38:56.446
  • HOME DURING THIS TIME, SOTHAT'S ONE OF THE GREAT
  • 00:38:56.446 --> 00:38:59.115
  • UP SIDES TO SOMEOF THE DOWNSIDE.
  • 00:38:59.115 --> 00:39:01.784
  • - I SHOULD SAY! TALKABOUT A GIFT
  • 00:39:01.784 --> 00:39:03.519
  • THAT YOU'RE GETTINGIN THIS SEASON.
  • 00:39:03.519 --> 00:39:05.388
  • - THAT'S AWESOME.
  • 00:39:05.388 --> 00:39:06.522
  • - HUGE. HUGE.
  • 00:39:06.522 --> 00:39:08.724
  • - SO HAVE YOU AND SARAHHAD ANY QUARANTINE,
  • 00:39:08.724 --> 00:39:11.794
  • WE'VE TALKED A BIT INTHE PROGRAM ABOUT
  • 00:39:11.794 --> 00:39:13.095
  • QUARANTINE QUARRELS.
  • 00:39:13.095 --> 00:39:14.630
  • HAVE YOU JUST HAD SMOOTHAS GLASS, NO PROBLEMS, OR
  • 00:39:14.630 --> 00:39:18.134
  • HAS THERE BEEN A LITTLEFRICTION FOR THE MARRIAGE
  • 00:39:18.134 --> 00:39:20.770
  • EXPERT ON THE HOME FRONT?
  • 00:39:20.770 --> 00:39:22.438
  • - WELL, NO, AND I THINKMANY OF US, THE WHOLE
  • 00:39:22.438 --> 00:39:24.841
  • FAMILY RELATIONSHIP,WHO WANTS TO BE MORE
  • 00:39:24.841 --> 00:39:27.143
  • CONSERVATIVE ON THEQUARANTINE, WHO IS
  • 00:39:27.143 --> 00:39:28.778
  • A LITTLE MORE OPEN.
  • 00:39:28.778 --> 00:39:30.379
  • IT'S AN INTERESTINGDYNAMIC.
  • 00:39:30.379 --> 00:39:31.981
  • AND SARAH AND I HAVEADDRESSED THIS IS
  • 00:39:31.981 --> 00:39:33.816
  • HAPPENING ACROSS THECOUNTRY WITH MANY
  • 00:39:33.816 --> 00:39:35.718
  • FAMILIES, AND THIS ISGONNA CREATE SOME REAL
  • 00:39:35.718 --> 00:39:37.954
  • RESENTMENT IF WE'RE NOTTHOUGHTFUL ABOUT THIS
  • 00:39:37.954 --> 00:39:40.623
  • IDEA, BECAUSE IF I FEELI'M RIGHT, DOES THAT
  • 00:39:40.623 --> 00:39:42.892
  • THEREFORE MAKE YOUMORALLY WRONG?
  • 00:39:42.892 --> 00:39:45.161
  • OR IS IT JUST SAYING THATWE'RE NOT MORALLY WRONG,
  • 00:39:45.161 --> 00:39:49.365
  • WE'RE JUST DIFFERENT?
  • 00:39:49.365 --> 00:39:50.633
  • AND THERE'S GONNA BE SOMEGRAY AREA DIFFERENCES
  • 00:39:50.633 --> 00:39:53.069
  • HERE THAT MUST NOTESCALATE TO KIND OF A
  • 00:39:53.069 --> 00:39:55.304
  • JUDGMENTALCONTEMPTUOUS ATTITUDE.
  • 00:39:55.304 --> 00:39:57.840
  • AND I THINK MANY OF USNEED TO REVISIT HOW DO WE
  • 00:39:57.840 --> 00:40:00.343
  • DEAL WITH THESE HONESTDIFFERENCES OF OPINION,
  • 00:40:00.343 --> 00:40:02.445
  • PARTICULARLY WHEN WE FEELJUDGED BY ANOTHER PERSON,
  • 00:40:02.445 --> 00:40:04.981
  • AS THOUGH SOMEHOW WE'REGOING TO PUT THEM
  • 00:40:04.981 --> 00:40:07.316
  • IN HARM'S WAY.
  • 00:40:07.316 --> 00:40:09.452
  • - THAT'S ANIMPORTANT POINT.
  • 00:40:09.452 --> 00:40:10.920
  • - YEAH, THE REFRESH THATOUR MARRIAGES NEED HAS A
  • 00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:14.257
  • LOT TO DO WITH SETTINGASIDE JUDGMENT AND
  • 00:40:14.257 --> 00:40:16.859
  • HONORING OUR DIFFERENCES,BUT HOW CAN WE DO THAT?
  • 00:40:16.859 --> 00:40:19.795
  • GIVE US A LITTLEPRACTICAL HELP.
  • 00:40:19.795 --> 00:40:21.764
  • - YEAH, IN FACT, LET'SGET INTO A LITTLE BIT,
  • 00:40:21.764 --> 00:40:23.966
  • YOU'RE SO WELL KNOWNFOR THE CRAZY CYCLE.
  • 00:40:23.966 --> 00:40:26.335
  • BY THE WAY, HOW DOES ITFEEL TO BE KNOWN FOR
  • 00:40:26.335 --> 00:40:28.137
  • SOMETHING THAT HASCRAZY IN THE TITLE?
  • 00:40:28.137 --> 00:40:30.640
  • BUT WE HAVE A BOOKCALLED CRAZY GOOD SEX.
  • 00:40:30.640 --> 00:40:33.910
  • I GUESS I SHOULDN'TTHROW STONES.
  • 00:40:33.910 --> 00:40:35.811
  • BUT THE CRAZY CYCLE ISSUCH A VALUABLE THING
  • 00:40:35.811 --> 00:40:39.615
  • THAT YOU WROTE ABOUT INLOVE AND RESPECT, AND I
  • 00:40:39.615 --> 00:40:42.919
  • THINK IT HAS MORERELEVANCE NOW THAN EVER
  • 00:40:42.919 --> 00:40:45.888
  • BECAUSE WE'RE GETTINGINTO THIS, AS THIS
  • 00:40:45.888 --> 00:40:48.057
  • PANDEMIC WEARS ON ANDON, AND WE HAVE ALL THE
  • 00:40:48.057 --> 00:40:51.627
  • CONFINEMENT ANDEVERYTHING ELSE.
  • 00:40:51.627 --> 00:40:53.029
  • CAN YOU TALK TO US ALITTLE BIT ABOUT THAT?
  • 00:40:53.029 --> 00:40:54.697
  • DO YOU SEE THE SAMERELEVANCE TO IT
  • 00:40:54.697 --> 00:40:56.065
  • THAT I'M ELUDING TO?
  • 00:40:56.065 --> 00:40:57.433
  • - OH, YES, IT'S BASED ONEPHESIANS 5:33 WHICH IS
  • 00:40:57.433 --> 00:41:00.870
  • THE SUMMARY STATEMENT TOWHAT MANY CONSIDER THE
  • 00:41:00.870 --> 00:41:03.139
  • GREATEST TREATISE INTHE NEW TESTAMENT ON
  • 00:41:03.139 --> 00:41:05.274
  • MARRIAGE. HUSBANDS LOVEYOUR WIVES, AND WIVES
  • 00:41:05.274 --> 00:41:08.210
  • RESPECT YOUR HUSBANDS.
  • 00:41:08.210 --> 00:41:10.212
  • AND THERE'S NOCONTROVERSY ON A HUSBAND
  • 00:41:10.212 --> 00:41:11.714
  • LOVING HIS WIFE, BUT THEIDEA OF RESPECT IS
  • 00:41:11.714 --> 00:41:13.783
  • A BIT MORE CONTROVERSIAL.
  • 00:41:13.783 --> 00:41:15.585
  • BUT WHAT I FOUNDINTRIGUING IS THE
  • 00:41:15.585 --> 00:41:17.053
  • UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON,WHERE YOU RESIDE, THAT
  • 00:41:17.053 --> 00:41:19.622
  • AREA, FOUND THAT LOVE ANDRESPECT ARE THE TWO KEY
  • 00:41:19.622 --> 00:41:22.425
  • INGREDIENTS TO SUCCESSFULMARRIAGES, AND THEY
  • 00:41:22.425 --> 00:41:25.027
  • ACTUALLY BECOME GENDERSPECIFIC IN THAT MEN LEAN
  • 00:41:25.027 --> 00:41:27.964
  • TOWARD THE RESPECTSIDE OF THE EQUATION,
  • 00:41:27.964 --> 00:41:29.999
  • WOMEN LEAN TOWARDTHE LOVE SIDE.
  • 00:41:29.999 --> 00:41:32.501
  • AND PERSONALLY, WE'VEASKED 7.000 PEOPLE THIS
  • 00:41:32.501 --> 00:41:34.837
  • QUESTION: WHEN YOU'REIN A CONFLICT WITH YOUR
  • 00:41:34.837 --> 00:41:36.739
  • SPOUSE, DO YOU FEELUNLOVED OR DISRESPECTED?
  • 00:41:36.739 --> 00:41:40.509
  • 83 PERCENT, 83 PERCENTOF THE MEN SAID
  • 00:41:40.509 --> 00:41:43.879
  • THEY FEEL DISRESPECTED.
  • 00:41:43.879 --> 00:41:45.915
  • 72 PERCENT OF THE WOMENSAY THEY FEEL UNLOVED.
  • 00:41:45.915 --> 00:41:48.751
  • NOW WE ALL NEED LOVEAND RESPECT EQUALLY.
  • 00:41:48.751 --> 00:41:50.786
  • WOMEN NEED RESPECT, MENNEED LOVE, BUT THE FELT
  • 00:41:50.786 --> 00:41:53.356
  • NEED DURING CONFLICT,DURING PANDEMIC MOMENT,
  • 00:41:53.356 --> 00:41:56.125
  • IT KIND OF PLAYSITSELF OUT LIKE THIS.
  • 00:41:56.125 --> 00:41:58.361
  • WHEN SARAH FEELS UNLOVED,AND I CAN BE UNLOVING,
  • 00:41:58.361 --> 00:42:00.730
  • SHE NEGATIVELYREACTS, RIGHT?
  • 00:42:00.730 --> 00:42:03.099
  • BUT SHE TENDS TO REACTIN A WAY THAT APPEARS
  • 00:42:03.099 --> 00:42:04.934
  • DISRESPECTFUL TO ME.
  • 00:42:04.934 --> 00:42:06.502
  • SHE'S NOT TRYING TO BEDISRESPECTFUL, BUT IN A
  • 00:42:06.502 --> 00:42:08.504
  • MALE'S WORLD, NO ONE TALKSTO US THIS WAY, RIGHT?
  • 00:42:08.504 --> 00:42:11.807
  • AND THEN WHEN I FEELDISRESPECTED, I MAY
  • 00:42:11.807 --> 00:42:13.643
  • STONEWALL, WITHDRAW.
  • 00:42:13.643 --> 00:42:15.411
  • 85 PERCENT OF THOSE WHODO, AT A CERTAIN POINT,
  • 00:42:15.411 --> 00:42:17.346
  • DROP, FORGET IT, I DON'T WANTTO TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE.
  • 00:42:17.346 --> 00:42:19.949
  • IN A WOMAN'S WORLD, THATFEELS HUGELY UNLOVING AND
  • 00:42:19.949 --> 00:42:22.451
  • THUS IT GIVES BIRTH TOSARAH EMERSON GETTING ON
  • 00:42:22.451 --> 00:42:24.920
  • WHAT WE CALLTHE CRAZY CYCLE.
  • 00:42:24.920 --> 00:42:26.789
  • WITHOUT LOVE, SHEREACTS WITHOUT RESPECT.
  • 00:42:26.789 --> 00:42:29.325
  • WITHOUT RESPECT, HEREACTS WITHOUT LOVE.
  • 00:42:29.325 --> 00:42:31.327
  • WITHOUT LOVE, SHEREACTS WITHOUT RESPECT.
  • 00:42:31.327 --> 00:42:32.862
  • AND THIS BABYSTARTS TO SPIN.
  • 00:42:32.862 --> 00:42:35.197
  • SO WE SAY DURING THEPANDEMIC TIME, WE ARE
  • 00:42:35.197 --> 00:42:38.100
  • GONNA HAVE REAL ISSUESLIKE WE'VE BEEN ELUDING TO.
  • 00:42:38.100 --> 00:42:40.369
  • WHAT DO WE DO IN TERMS OFQUARANTINING, HOW DO WE
  • 00:42:40.369 --> 00:42:43.673
  • PROTECT OURSELVES,WHO DO WE HAVE OVER,
  • 00:42:43.673 --> 00:42:45.574
  • WHAT DO WE NOT DO.
  • 00:42:45.574 --> 00:42:46.842
  • BUT AT A CERTAIN POINT,WHEN WE GET INTO THESE
  • 00:42:46.842 --> 00:42:48.678
  • CONVERSATIONS, AND I LIKETO ASK THIS QUESTION,
  • 00:42:48.678 --> 00:42:50.613
  • DO YOU SEE THE SPIRIT OFYOUR SPOUSE DEFLATE?
  • 00:42:50.613 --> 00:42:53.215
  • IT'S LIKE WHATDID I SAY NOW?
  • 00:42:53.215 --> 00:42:55.618
  • WHENEVER WE HAVE THATMOMENT, IN ALL LIKELIHOOD
  • 00:42:55.618 --> 00:42:58.220
  • SARAH AND I LOCK IN THISBAY, SHE'S PROBABLY
  • 00:42:58.220 --> 00:43:00.456
  • FEELING UNLOVED,AND I'M PROBABLY
  • 00:43:00.456 --> 00:43:02.391
  • FEELING DISRESPECTED.
  • 00:43:02.391 --> 00:43:04.126
  • THERE MAY NOT BEJUSTIFICATION FOR THAT,
  • 00:43:04.126 --> 00:43:06.295
  • BUT WE TRY TO GIVE THEOTHER THE BENEFIT OF THE
  • 00:43:06.295 --> 00:43:07.963
  • DOUBT BECAUSE IF WEDON'T, THEN THAT CRAZY
  • 00:43:07.963 --> 00:43:10.466
  • CYCLE SPINS INORDINATELYAND THEN WE END UP BEING
  • 00:43:10.466 --> 00:43:14.236
  • MAD AT ONE ANOTHERFOR SEVERAL DAYS.
  • 00:43:14.236 --> 00:43:16.739
  • - WHEN YOU SEE THESPIRIT OF YOUR SPOUSE
  • 00:43:16.739 --> 00:43:19.575
  • DEFLATE, BOY WE CANRELATE TO THAT.
  • 00:43:19.575 --> 00:43:21.811
  • WE'VE ALL FELT IT, ANDWE'VE SEEN IT IN THE EYES
  • 00:43:21.811 --> 00:43:24.213
  • OF THE PERSON WE LOVE.
  • 00:43:24.213 --> 00:43:25.614
  • - YOU'VE SEEN ME DEFLATELIKE THAT, HAVE YOU?
  • 00:43:25.614 --> 00:43:27.783
  • - I'VE SEEN IT. ITHAPPENS TO EVEN YOU.
  • 00:43:27.783 --> 00:43:30.019
  • EVEN YOU.
  • 00:43:30.019 --> 00:43:31.220
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:43:31.220 --> 00:43:32.455
  • EMERSON, THE WHOLE IDEAOF LOVE AND RESPECT,
  • 00:43:32.455 --> 00:43:35.691
  • I LOVE IT THAT YOU'RESAYING THIS IS WHAT WE
  • 00:43:35.691 --> 00:43:37.960
  • KNOW FROM RESEARCH.
  • 00:43:37.960 --> 00:43:39.361
  • WE UNDERSTAND BIBLICALWISDOM TALKS ABOUT THIS,
  • 00:43:39.361 --> 00:43:42.531
  • BUT YOU'VE ALSO DONETHE RESEARCH BEHIND IT.
  • 00:43:42.531 --> 00:43:44.867
  • YOU'RE NOT TRYING TOPUT ANYBODY IN A BOX.
  • 00:43:44.867 --> 00:43:47.002
  • YOU'RE NOT SAYING THATMEN DON'T WANT TO BE
  • 00:43:47.002 --> 00:43:48.871
  • LOVED AND WOMEN DON'TWANT TO BE RESPECTED.
  • 00:43:48.871 --> 00:43:50.940
  • YOU'RE PAINTING BIG BROADBRUSH STROKES THAT CAN
  • 00:43:50.940 --> 00:43:53.442
  • KIND OF HELP US ON THEJOURNEY TO MAKING THAT
  • 00:43:53.442 --> 00:43:58.147
  • PRODUCTIVE, PRACTICAL,APPLICABLE IN OUR LIFE.
  • 00:43:58.147 --> 00:44:01.884
  • SO LET'S STAY ON THECRAZY CYCLE FOR A LITTLE
  • 00:44:01.884 --> 00:44:04.086
  • BIT HERE, AND GIVE USMAYBE SOME EXAMPLES OF
  • 00:44:04.086 --> 00:44:07.556
  • HOW THAT MIGHT WORK INTHE TIME OF THIS PANDEMIC
  • 00:44:07.556 --> 00:44:10.025
  • WHEN WE DO SEEM TO BESTEPPING ON EACH OTHER'S
  • 00:44:10.025 --> 00:44:13.028
  • TOES MORE THAN EVERJUST BECAUSE OF THE
  • 00:44:13.028 --> 00:44:16.432
  • CONFINEMENT, AND WORKINGAT HOME, AND LISTENING TO
  • 00:44:16.432 --> 00:44:19.235
  • ZOOM CALLS THAT MAYBE WEDIDN'T HEAR BEFORE, AND
  • 00:44:19.235 --> 00:44:21.837
  • ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF.
  • 00:44:21.837 --> 00:44:23.572
  • CAN YOU PUT SOME MEATON THOSE BONES FOR US?
  • 00:44:23.572 --> 00:44:26.609
  • - YES. WELL, I JUSTECHO WHAT YOU SAID.
  • 00:44:26.609 --> 00:44:29.111
  • IT'S NOT FOR ME TO FORCETHE SHOE ON THE FOOT.
  • 00:44:29.111 --> 00:44:32.181
  • IF IT DOESN'T FIT, THENDON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
  • 00:44:32.181 --> 00:44:33.816
  • BECAUSE SOMETIMES THERE'SGONNA BE REVERSALS.
  • 00:44:33.816 --> 00:44:35.851
  • MEN ARE INSECURE,FEELING UNLOVED.
  • 00:44:35.851 --> 00:44:37.319
  • WOMEN ARE SURE OFHIS LOVE BUT FEEL
  • 00:44:37.319 --> 00:44:39.722
  • DISRESPECTED, LIKE THEIROPINION IS DISMISSED.
  • 00:44:39.722 --> 00:44:41.924
  • SO EACH PERSON HASTO FIGURE THAT OUT.
  • 00:44:41.924 --> 00:44:43.859
  • BUT IF, GENERALLYSPEAKING, THAT SHE'S
  • 00:44:43.859 --> 00:44:46.328
  • FEELING UNLOVED AT THATMOMENT, AND HE'S FEELING
  • 00:44:46.328 --> 00:44:49.398
  • DISRESPECTED, AND YOUSTART SPINNING ON THAT
  • 00:44:49.398 --> 00:44:51.367
  • CRAZY CYCLE, THE QUESTIONIS YOU'RE ASKING IS WHAT
  • 00:44:51.367 --> 00:44:54.136
  • DOES THAT LOOK LIKE?
  • 00:44:54.136 --> 00:44:55.538
  • WELL, EVEN AT THEUNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON,
  • 00:44:55.538 --> 00:44:57.006
  • AND I ELUDED TO THIS,SAID THAT DURING MARITAL
  • 00:44:57.006 --> 00:44:59.008
  • CONFLICT, AND THEYSTUDIED 2.000 COUPLES FOR
  • 00:44:59.008 --> 00:45:00.810
  • 20 YEARS. THEY SAID DURINGMOMENTS OF THIS INTENSE
  • 00:45:00.810 --> 00:45:04.046
  • CONFLICT, AT A CERTAINPOINT MEN JUST SHUT DOWN.
  • 00:45:04.046 --> 00:45:06.816
  • THEY STONEWALL. THEY WITHDRAW.
  • 00:45:06.816 --> 00:45:08.083
  • IT'S 85 PERCENTOF THE MEN.
  • 00:45:08.083 --> 00:45:09.919
  • AND THEY DISCOVERED THATTHE HEART BEATS OF A MAN
  • 00:45:09.919 --> 00:45:12.454
  • DURING THAT MOMENT GETS99 BEATS PER MINUTE.
  • 00:45:12.454 --> 00:45:14.957
  • HE LOOKS STOIC BUT INWARDLYHE'S IN WARRIOR MODE.
  • 00:45:14.957 --> 00:45:17.793
  • SHE CAN LOOK LIKE SHE'SOUT OF CONTROL, BUT HER
  • 00:45:17.793 --> 00:45:19.795
  • HEART BEATS ARE NORMAL.
  • 00:45:19.795 --> 00:45:21.697
  • SO WHAT HAPPENS THOUGHWHEN A MAN IS AT THAT 99
  • 00:45:21.697 --> 00:45:24.567
  • BEATS PER MINUTE, IT'SEITHER FIGHT OR FLIGHT,
  • 00:45:24.567 --> 00:45:26.735
  • AND HE DOESN'T WANT TOFIGHT SO HE JUST SHUTS
  • 00:45:26.735 --> 00:45:28.304
  • DOWN, WANTS TODROP IT, FORGET IT.
  • 00:45:28.304 --> 00:45:30.673
  • SO WHEN HE DOES THAT,THAT'S GONNA FEEL
  • 00:45:30.673 --> 00:45:33.442
  • HUGELY UNLOVING INA WOMAN'S WORLD.
  • 00:45:33.442 --> 00:45:35.778
  • THE RESEARCHERS ASKEDWOMEN WHAT THEY FELT AND
  • 00:45:35.778 --> 00:45:37.913
  • THE WOMEN SAID IT FEELSLIKE AN ACT OF HOSTILITY.
  • 00:45:37.913 --> 00:45:40.616
  • SHE COULDN'T IMAGINESHUTTING DOWN AND
  • 00:45:40.616 --> 00:45:42.484
  • WITHDRAWING OVERA MINOR CRITICISM.
  • 00:45:42.484 --> 00:45:44.753
  • AND SO THAT LACK OF LOVE,SHE FEELS HATED,
  • 00:45:44.753 --> 00:45:46.856
  • SO ON SO FORTH.
  • 00:45:46.856 --> 00:45:48.490
  • THEY FOUND ON THE OTHERSIDE, WOMEN DURING THESE
  • 00:45:48.490 --> 00:45:50.960
  • MOMENTS BECOMEMORE AGGRESSIVE.
  • 00:45:50.960 --> 00:45:52.628
  • THEY COMPLAIN ANDCRITICIZE, THEY MOVE
  • 00:45:52.628 --> 00:45:54.363
  • TOWARD THE HUSBAND TOEXPRESS, TO VENT, AND
  • 00:45:54.363 --> 00:45:57.199
  • THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DOINGIN ORDER TO SOMEHOW BRING
  • 00:45:57.199 --> 00:45:59.902
  • ABOUT RECONCILIATION ANDMUTUAL APOLOGY, BUT IT
  • 00:45:59.902 --> 00:46:03.239
  • APPEARS AT THAT POINTTHAT SHE'S BEING
  • 00:46:03.239 --> 00:46:06.642
  • CONTEMPTUOUSIN HIS WORLD.
  • 00:46:06.642 --> 00:46:08.711
  • THAT'S HOW HE VIEWS IT.
  • 00:46:08.711 --> 00:46:10.012
  • SO IT'S INTERESTING THATWHEN HE WITHDRAWS,
  • 00:46:10.012 --> 00:46:11.714
  • HE'S DOING THEHONORABLE THING.
  • 00:46:11.714 --> 00:46:13.282
  • SHE FEELS IT'S HOSTILE.
  • 00:46:13.282 --> 00:46:15.217
  • WHEN SHE MOVESAGGRESSIVELY TOWARD HIM,
  • 00:46:15.217 --> 00:46:16.886
  • SHE'S DOING THECARING THING,
  • 00:46:16.886 --> 00:46:18.554
  • BUT HE FEELS IT'SCONTEMPTUOUS.
  • 00:46:18.554 --> 00:46:20.689
  • SO THE QUESTION ON THETABLE IS WHO IS RIGHT?
  • 00:46:20.689 --> 00:46:23.726
  • AND THE ANSWERTO THAT IS YES.
  • 00:46:23.726 --> 00:46:25.728
  • THE ANSWER TOTHAT IS YES.
  • 00:46:25.728 --> 00:46:27.029
  • NEITHER ONE OF USARE MORALLY WRONG.
  • 00:46:27.029 --> 00:46:28.898
  • WE'RE COMING AT THISTHROUGH A MALE AND FEMALE
  • 00:46:28.898 --> 00:46:31.000
  • GRID, SO AT THAT MOMENT,HOW DO WE DEAL WITH HIS
  • 00:46:31.000 --> 00:46:33.502
  • STONEWALLING ANDWITHDRAWING?
  • 00:46:33.502 --> 00:46:35.271
  • HOW DO WE DEAL WITH HERCRITICISMS AND COMPLAINTS?
  • 00:46:35.271 --> 00:46:37.673
  • IF WE DON'T UNDERSTANDHOW TO DO THAT, THE ISSUE
  • 00:46:37.673 --> 00:46:40.342
  • THAT WE'RE ADDRESSINGBECOMES SECONDARY.
  • 00:46:40.342 --> 00:46:42.444
  • NOW WE'RE SPINNING ON THECRAZY CYCLE, AND PEOPLE
  • 00:46:42.444 --> 00:46:45.748
  • GET CONFUSED INTHEIR GOOD WILL.
  • 00:46:45.748 --> 00:46:47.349
  • THERE ISN'T EVIL INTENT.
  • 00:46:47.349 --> 00:46:48.951
  • PAUL SAYS IN 1CORINTHIANS 7:33 AND 34
  • 00:46:48.951 --> 00:46:51.487
  • THE HUSBAND'S CONCERNEDABOUT HOW TO PLEASE HIS
  • 00:46:51.487 --> 00:46:53.722
  • WIFE, AND THE WIFE ISCONCERNED ABOUT HOW TO
  • 00:46:53.722 --> 00:46:55.257
  • PLEASE HER HUSBAND.
  • 00:46:55.257 --> 00:46:56.525
  • THERE ISN'T ILL WILL, ANDYET WE HAVE THESE CRAZY
  • 00:46:56.525 --> 00:46:59.094
  • CYCLE MOMENTS WE THINK IFI REALLY WAS IMPORTANT TO
  • 00:46:59.094 --> 00:47:01.630
  • YOU, WHY DO YOUREACT TO ME THIS WAY?
  • 00:47:01.630 --> 00:47:03.966
  • AND WE GET CONFUSED.
  • 00:47:03.966 --> 00:47:05.734
  • - YOU HAVE PRESENTEDUS WITH A MODEL OF THIS
  • 00:47:05.734 --> 00:47:08.270
  • CRAZY CYCLE OF BEING ABLETO, PARDON THE PUN,
  • 00:47:08.270 --> 00:47:11.740
  • BUT SPIN OUT OF IT.
  • 00:47:11.740 --> 00:47:14.009
  • - AND DO THAT BECAUSEYOU CAN HONOR THAT
  • 00:47:14.009 --> 00:47:17.179
  • THERE'S GOOD WILL COMINGAT ME FROM MY SPOUSE.
  • 00:47:17.179 --> 00:47:19.882
  • THEY'RE NOT TRYINGTO MAKE ME FEEL
  • 00:47:19.882 --> 00:47:21.650
  • UNLOVED OR DISRESPECTED.
  • 00:47:21.650 --> 00:47:23.652
  • THEY'RE ACTUALLY TRYINGTO DO THE OPPOSITE OF
  • 00:47:23.652 --> 00:47:26.088
  • THAT, SO IT GIVESYOU SOME GRACE.
  • 00:47:26.088 --> 00:47:29.391
  • - I KNOW YOUR LATESTBOOK, IT'S CALLED
  • 00:47:29.391 --> 00:47:32.194
  • "THE FOUR WILLS OF GOD",AND WE'RE DYING TO KNOW
  • 00:47:32.194 --> 00:47:35.831
  • A LITTLE BIT MOREABOUT THAT.
  • 00:47:35.831 --> 00:47:37.232
  • CAN YOU TELL US WHATPROMPTED YOU TO WRITE ON
  • 00:47:37.232 --> 00:47:39.635
  • THE WILL OF GOD, ANDHOW DOES THAT RELATE
  • 00:47:39.635 --> 00:47:42.104
  • TO US AS COUPLES?
  • 00:47:42.104 --> 00:47:43.872
  • - YES, EXCELLENT.
  • 00:47:43.872 --> 00:47:45.107
  • I PASTORED FOR 20 YEARS,STUDIED THE BIBLE 30
  • 00:47:45.107 --> 00:47:47.343
  • HOURS A WEEK FOR NEARLYTHOSE 20 YEARS, AND I SAW
  • 00:47:47.343 --> 00:47:50.946
  • FOUR PASSAGES IN THE NEWTESTAMENT THAT SAY THIS
  • 00:47:50.946 --> 00:47:53.582
  • IS THE WILL OF GOD.THEY'RE UNIQUE.
  • 00:47:53.582 --> 00:47:55.884
  • IT IDENTIFIES THE WILLOF GOD WITH A SPECIFIC
  • 00:47:55.884 --> 00:47:58.087
  • ACTION, AND THERE IS ATREMENDOUS INSIGHT
  • 00:47:58.087 --> 00:48:00.956
  • IN THESE FOUR AREAS.
  • 00:48:00.956 --> 00:48:02.791
  • AND THROUGH THE YEARS, ICOUNSELED PEOPLE ON THE
  • 00:48:02.791 --> 00:48:04.893
  • BASE OF THOSE FOUR WILLS.
  • 00:48:04.893 --> 00:48:06.395
  • IT'S KIND OF LIKE PEOPLEALWAYS WANT TO KNOW GOD'S
  • 00:48:06.395 --> 00:48:08.297
  • WILL FOR THEIR LIFE ANDHOW DO YOU DISCERN THAT,
  • 00:48:08.297 --> 00:48:10.532
  • HOW DO YOU DETECT THAT,HOW CAN YOU FIND THAT?
  • 00:48:10.532 --> 00:48:12.668
  • AND I'VE USED THISALL THESE YEARS OF
  • 00:48:12.668 --> 00:48:14.970
  • PASTORAL COUNSELING.
  • 00:48:14.970 --> 00:48:16.605
  • AND MY DAUGHTER, JOY,WANTED ME TO REALLY PUT
  • 00:48:16.605 --> 00:48:18.974
  • THIS IN BOOK FORM AND GETIT OUT THERE AND IT'S
  • 00:48:18.974 --> 00:48:21.043
  • OFF THE MARRIAGE TOPIC.
  • 00:48:21.043 --> 00:48:22.611
  • BUT THERE'S A TON OFILLUSTRATIONS ABOUT
  • 00:48:22.611 --> 00:48:24.913
  • COUPLES, HUSBANDS ANDWIVES IN THIS, NOT THE
  • 00:48:24.913 --> 00:48:26.882
  • LEAST OF WHICHARE SARAH AND ME.
  • 00:48:26.882 --> 00:48:28.717
  • SO THAT WAS SPEARHEADEDBY MY DAUGHTER JOY.
  • 00:48:28.717 --> 00:48:31.020
  • DAD, THEY NEED TO KNOWTHIS BECAUSE THE WAY IN
  • 00:48:31.020 --> 00:48:34.590
  • WHICH SHE WAS TRYING TODISCOVER GOD'S WILL WAS
  • 00:48:34.590 --> 00:48:37.860
  • LOOKING AT LICENSE PLATESON CARS, AND I WON'T GO
  • 00:48:37.860 --> 00:48:41.930
  • TO THE BACK STORY ONTHAT, BUT I SAID HONEY,
  • 00:48:41.930 --> 00:48:43.932
  • THERE'S MAYBE A BETTERWAY OF DISCERNING GOD'S
  • 00:48:43.932 --> 00:48:45.834
  • WILL FOR YOUR LIFE.
  • 00:48:45.834 --> 00:48:47.369
  • - THE OLD EIGHT BALL,MAGIC EIGHT BALL. RIGHT.
  • 00:48:47.369 --> 00:48:49.304
  • - EXACTLY.
  • 00:48:49.304 --> 00:48:51.106
  • - THE TRUTH IS VERYLITTLE HAS BEEN WRITTEN
  • 00:48:51.106 --> 00:48:54.076
  • ON THAT FOR COUPLESSPECIFICALLY, AND I KNOW
  • 00:48:54.076 --> 00:48:57.413
  • THIS BOOK IS FOR MORETHAN JUST COUPLES, BUT
  • 00:48:57.413 --> 00:49:00.115
  • BOY IS THAT AN IMPORTANTTHING TO REALLY
  • 00:49:00.115 --> 00:49:01.884
  • UNCOVER THAT TOGETHER.
  • 00:49:01.884 --> 00:49:03.185
  • - YEAH, AND ACTUALLYIT'S SOMETHING WE CAN GET
  • 00:49:03.185 --> 00:49:05.421
  • ON THE CRAZY CYCLE IFWE'RE NOT ON THE SAME
  • 00:49:05.421 --> 00:49:07.756
  • PAGE, AND WHAT DOESGOD'S WILL FOR US AS
  • 00:49:07.756 --> 00:49:09.892
  • A COUPLE LOOK LIKE.
  • 00:49:09.892 --> 00:49:11.160
  • SO THAT'S REALLY VITALEVEN FOR COUPLES.
  • 00:49:11.160 --> 00:49:13.362
  • - SO, JUST IN--
  • 00:49:13.362 --> 00:49:14.730
  • - WELL IN FACT, LES, IWOULD JUST SAY I REMEMBER
  • 00:49:14.730 --> 00:49:16.565
  • YOU GIVING A MESSAGE, ITHINK WHEN WE WERE IN
  • 00:49:16.565 --> 00:49:18.867
  • DALLAS ON GIVINGTHANKS, RIGHT?
  • 00:49:18.867 --> 00:49:20.269
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:49:20.269 --> 00:49:21.603
  • - YOU WERE TALKINGABOUT GIVING THANKS, AND
  • 00:49:21.603 --> 00:49:23.505
  • SARAH'S HAD A DOUBLEMASTECTOMY, SHE ALMOST HAD
  • 00:49:23.505 --> 00:49:26.075
  • LUNG CANCER WE THOUGHT,SO SHE'S BEEN AT DEATH'S
  • 00:49:26.075 --> 00:49:28.644
  • DOOR A COUPLE OF TIMES,AND GIVING THANKS IS HER
  • 00:49:28.644 --> 00:49:30.446
  • LIFE MESSAGE.1 THESSALONIANS 5:18.
  • 00:49:30.446 --> 00:49:32.247
  • IN EVERYTHING GIVETHANKS, FOR THIS IS THE
  • 00:49:32.247 --> 00:49:35.684
  • WILL OF GOD FOR YOUIN CHRIST JESUS.
  • 00:49:35.684 --> 00:49:37.553
  • AND ONE OF THE THINGSSARAH AND I HAD TO REMIND
  • 00:49:37.553 --> 00:49:39.188
  • OURSELVES THROUGH THEPANDEMIC, ARE WE WILLING
  • 00:49:39.188 --> 00:49:40.956
  • DURING TIME OF PRAYER,EVEN AT MEAL,
  • 00:49:40.956 --> 00:49:42.357
  • TO GIVE THANKS FORTHE CHALLENGES?
  • 00:49:42.357 --> 00:49:44.259
  • OR ARE WE GONNA MOVE INTODEPRESSION AND MELANCHOLY
  • 00:49:44.259 --> 00:49:47.062
  • AND ANGER, OR ARE WEACTUALLY BELIEVING THAT
  • 00:49:47.062 --> 00:49:48.931
  • WE CAN GIVE THANKS?
  • 00:49:48.931 --> 00:49:50.332
  • AND I REMEMBER YOURMESSAGE ON THAT, BUT THAT
  • 00:49:50.332 --> 00:49:52.267
  • WOULD BE ONE APPLICATION.
  • 00:49:52.267 --> 00:49:53.936
  • AS A HUSBAND AND WIFE,WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WE
  • 00:49:53.936 --> 00:49:55.904
  • ACTUALLY GAVE THANKS, NOTJUST FOR THE GOOD, BUT
  • 00:49:55.904 --> 00:49:58.574
  • ALSO FOR THOSE THINGSTHAT WOULD BE OTHER THAN
  • 00:49:58.574 --> 00:50:01.176
  • GOOD, BUT WE'RE BELIEVINGTHAT HE'S WORKING ALL
  • 00:50:01.176 --> 00:50:03.278
  • THINGS TOGETHER FOR GOOD,AND WE'RE GONNA THANK HIM
  • 00:50:03.278 --> 00:50:05.581
  • FOR THAT AHEAD OF TIME.
  • 00:50:05.581 --> 00:50:07.349
  • WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WEWHO ARE MATURE BELIEVERS
  • 00:50:07.349 --> 00:50:09.485
  • IN JESUS CHRIST PRAYEDWITH OUR SPOUSE AND
  • 00:50:09.485 --> 00:50:11.987
  • ACTUALLY GAVE THANKSFOR WHAT'S HAPPENING.
  • 00:50:11.987 --> 00:50:14.323
  • THAT'S ASTRETCHABLE MOMENT.
  • 00:50:14.323 --> 00:50:16.125
  • AND THAT'S A CHALLENGEFOR SARAH AND ME.
  • 00:50:16.125 --> 00:50:17.526
  • WE DON'T DO ITAUTOMATICALLY.
  • 00:50:17.526 --> 00:50:18.760
  • IT'S NOT WITHIN OURNATURE TO WANT TO GIVE
  • 00:50:18.760 --> 00:50:20.395
  • THANKS LIKE THATBUT IT WORKS.
  • 00:50:20.395 --> 00:50:22.297
  • - THAT IS APOWERFUL WORD.
  • 00:50:22.297 --> 00:50:24.099
  • - THAT IS. GRATITUDE.
  • 00:50:24.099 --> 00:50:25.801
  • - YEAH, WE CAN TALK TOYOU ALL EVENING,
  • 00:50:25.801 --> 00:50:27.603
  • AND EMERSON, YOU'RE AGIFT TO THE KINGDOM.
  • 00:50:27.603 --> 00:50:29.638
  • YOU'VE GIVEN--
  • 00:50:29.638 --> 00:50:31.273
  • - TO COUPLES.
  • 00:50:31.273 --> 00:50:32.441
  • - YES.
  • 00:50:32.441 --> 00:50:33.876
  • LOVE AND RESPECT AND MANYOF YOUR OTHER WORKS AND
  • 00:50:33.876 --> 00:50:36.345
  • WRITINGS, SO VALUABLE,AND THANKS FOR JOINING US.
  • 00:50:36.345 --> 00:50:39.781
  • - THANK YOU LES ANDLESLIE. GOD BLESS YOU.
  • 00:50:39.781 --> 00:50:41.984
  • ♪♪
  • 00:50:41.984 --> 00:50:45.654
  • - WELL HEY FRIENDS,THERE YOU GO.
  • 00:50:45.654 --> 00:50:46.788
  • RELATIONSHIP REFRESH.
  • 00:50:46.788 --> 00:50:48.457
  • WE PROMISED YOU AT THETOP YOU WERE GONNA HEAR
  • 00:50:48.457 --> 00:50:49.892
  • FROM SOME GREAT PEOPLE,GREAT COUPLES,
  • 00:50:49.892 --> 00:50:51.927
  • AND DIDN'T WE DELIVER?
  • 00:50:51.927 --> 00:50:53.729
  • I THINK THEYWERE INCREDIBLE.
  • 00:50:53.729 --> 00:50:55.030
  • - THOSE WERE TREASURES.
  • 00:50:55.030 --> 00:50:56.098
  • WE GOT THE DIAMONDS ANDTHE PEARLS FOR SURE.
  • 00:50:56.098 --> 00:50:58.066
  • - THAT'S RIGHT.
  • 00:50:58.066 --> 00:50:59.301
  • SO JUST WANT TO BRING YOUBACK TO WHERE WE STARTED
  • 00:50:59.301 --> 00:51:01.670
  • WITH THIS WHOLE IDEA OFEXPANDING YOUR LOVE FOR
  • 00:51:01.670 --> 00:51:06.074
  • EACH OTHER BY WORKINGON THE LITTLE HINGES
  • 00:51:06.074 --> 00:51:08.777
  • THAT CAN HELP YOUDO JUST THAT.
  • 00:51:08.777 --> 00:51:11.180
  • WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOUPICKED UP IN THIS TIME
  • 00:51:11.180 --> 00:51:13.448
  • THAT WE'VE HAD TOGETHER.
  • 00:51:13.448 --> 00:51:14.783
  • - CURIOSITY IS ONEOF THOSE HINGES.
  • 00:51:14.783 --> 00:51:16.251
  • - I LOVE THAT ONE, RIGHT?
  • 00:51:16.251 --> 00:51:17.920
  • AND SO WHATEVER THOSE AREAND JUST FOCUS ON,
  • 00:51:17.920 --> 00:51:21.690
  • ALLOW THE HOLY SPIRITTO MINISTER TO YOU,
  • 00:51:21.690 --> 00:51:23.725
  • TO EXPAND THAT LOVE THATYOU HAVE FOR EACH OTHER.
  • 00:51:23.725 --> 00:51:26.061
  • AND HERE'S A LITTLECHALLENGE, AND THIS
  • 00:51:26.061 --> 00:51:27.796
  • REALLY CAN BOOST YOUR OWNRELATIONSHIP, BUT THINK
  • 00:51:27.796 --> 00:51:32.100
  • ABOUT SOMEBODY IN YOURLIFE THAT MIGHT
  • 00:51:32.100 --> 00:51:33.702
  • NEED TO HEAR THISVERY SAME MESSAGE.
  • 00:51:33.702 --> 00:51:35.637
  • - THAT'S RIGHT.
  • 00:51:35.637 --> 00:51:36.638
  • - HOW CAN YOUENCOURAGE THEM?
  • 00:51:36.638 --> 00:51:37.940
  • HOW CAN YOUPASS THAT ALONG?
  • 00:51:37.940 --> 00:51:39.308
  • SHARE SOME WISDOM THATYOU GOT FROM THIS PROGRAM
  • 00:51:39.308 --> 00:51:41.843
  • WITH SOMEBODY ELSETHAT YOU LOVE.
  • 00:51:41.843 --> 00:51:43.879
  • THANKS FOR JOINING US.
  • 00:51:43.879 --> 00:51:45.214
  • WE WISH YOUTHE VERY BEST.
  • 00:51:45.214 --> 00:51:46.882
  • ♪♪
  • 00:51:46.882 --> 00:51:46.882