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Praise | Les & Leslie Parrott | June 20, 2019

Praise

June 20, 2019

58:59

Matt & Laurie Crouch host Les & Leslie Parrott

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Praise | Les & Leslie Parrott | June 20, 2019

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- MALE ANNOUNCER: COMING UP--
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- MATT CROUCH: WE ARE GOING TO
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BE TALKING ABOUT--
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- LES PARROTT: THAT BIG WORD,
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"RELATIONSHIPS."
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- MATT: OH, GOD IN HEAVEN.
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- LAURIE CROUCH: WHEN YOU
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YELLED AT ME IN FRONT OF
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EVERYBODY.
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- MATT: WHEN?
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WHAT'RE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
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[MUSIC]
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- LESLIE PARROTT: HE DOESN'T
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EVEN APPRECIATE IT.
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WHY AM I BACK HERE DOING THIS?
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I'M EXHAUSTED.
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- LES: WHAT HAPPENED BACK
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THERE?
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- MATT: I REMEMBERED THE
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EMOTION OF BEING MISUNDERSTOOD.
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- LESLIE: HOPING FOR MORE
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AFFIRMATION, AND THIS IS WHAT HE
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GAVE ME.
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- LES: THAT'S-- THAT'S NOT WHAT
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I DID.
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I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO CLAP IN
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A SARCASTIC WAY.
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THE ELBOWS HAVE TO GO OUT A
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LITTLE BIT.
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[LAUGHTER]
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[MUSIC]
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- MATT: OKAY, WHAT HAPPENED?
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'CAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER.
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- LESLIE: YOU DO.
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YOU KNOW EXACTLY.
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- MATT: I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT
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YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT.
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- LES: YOUR RELATIONSHIPS CAN
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ONLY BE AS HEALTHY AS YOU ARE.
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- MATT: NOW WE'RE GETTIN'
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SOMEWHERE.
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- ANNOUNCER: AN ALL NEW
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"PRAISE" STARTS RIGHT NOW.
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- MATT: YOU'RE STILL BEIN' A
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JERK.
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- LAURIE: OKAY, SO NOW I'M
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BEING THE JERK.
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- ANNOUNCER: TONIGHT ON
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"PRAISE,"
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FROM LOS ANGELES, PSYCHOLOGY
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PROFESSOR AND BEST-SELLING
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AUTHORS, STATEWIDE MARRIAGE
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AMBASSADORS,
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- ANNOUNCER: AND NOW MATT AND
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LAURIE CROUCH.
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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
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- MATT: "PRAISE" COMES TO SEE
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YOU FROM RIGHT HERE IN
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SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.
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TONIGHT, WE HAVE LOTS OF DOCTORS
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IN THE HOUSE:
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DR. LES AND LESLIE.
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- LAURIE: EXCLUDING US.
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- MATT: WE ARE WANTING TO TALK
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ABOUT LOT OF STUFF, BUT WHAT'S
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THE MAIN SUBJECT WE'RE TAKIN' ON
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TONIGHT?
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- LES: WE CAN SUM IT UP IN THAT
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BIG WORD, "RELATIONSHIPS," AND
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WE ALL HAVE 'EM, RIGHT?
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IT'S THE HUB OF THE WHEEL.
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IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DO IN
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LIFE.
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IT'S THE NUMBER ONE SOURCE OF
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HAPPINESS AND FULFILLMENT, AND
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IF YOU GET RELATIONSHIPS RIGHT,
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LIFE DOESN'T GET MUCH SWEETER.
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- LESLIE: THAT'S RIGHT, AND
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THAT'S EVERY RELATIONSHIP.
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IT'S MARRIAGE FOR SURE, BUT IT'S
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WITH YOUR KIDS, IT'S WITH YOUR
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PARENTS, IT'S WITH YOUR
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TEACHERS, YOUR FRIENDSHIP
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CIRCLES.
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WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING IN LIFE,
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RELATIONSHIPS REALLY ARE THE
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DEEPEST FULFILLMENT.
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- LES: YEAH, SO WHAT WE WANNA
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TALK ABOUT-- IN FACT, WE TEACH A
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CLASS ON RELATIONSHIPS WHERE
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IT'S JUST BEEN A PHENOMENAL
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THING.
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STUDENTS ARE STARVING FOR
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INFORMATION ON HEALTHY
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RELATIONSHIPS, AND I DON'T JUST
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THINK IT'S COLLEGE STUDENTS.
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I THINK IT'S ALL OF US, AND, YET
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WE'RE NOT GETTING THE
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INFORMATION TO THE PEOPLE THAT
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CAN PUT IT INTO PRACTICE.
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THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO IN
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THE SHOW TONIGHT IS GIVE
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PRACTICAL HOW-TOS, TAKE AWAY
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THINGS THAT PEOPLE CAN DO,
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STARTING TODAY, THAT MAKE A
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POSITIVE DIFFERENCE IN THEIR
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RELATIONSHIPS.
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- LESLIE: THAT'S RIGHT, AS WELL
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AS BIBLICAL INSIGHT.
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- LES: YEAH.
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[APPLAUSE]
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- MATT: OKAY--
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- LAURIE: I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT
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THIS SHOW.
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- MATT: OKAY, ARE YOU DOING ANY
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KIND OF DOCTOR MOJO ON US RIGHT
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NOW?
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- LAURIE: YES, THEY HAVE BEEN
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ALL DAY.
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I CAN FEEL IT.
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- LES: WELL, SHE'S ASKED ME TO
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WORK ON YOU AFTER THE SHOW.
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WE'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT LATER.
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- MATT: OKAY.
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- LAURIE: YOU THINK I'M
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KIDDING?
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- MATT: SO, FIRST OF ALL, I
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WANT TO TALK ABOUT ASSESSMENT
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TESTS, OKAY?
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I HAVE HEARD ABOUT, YOU KNOW,
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THESE KIND OF THINGS WHERE YOU
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GO AND YOU FILL OUT ALL THE
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STUFF.
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WE DID YOURS.
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LAURIE AND I DID YOURS, AND
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WE'VE DONE ONE OR TWO OVER THE
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YEARS, AND I WANNA SAY ONE
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THING, THAT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
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THEY WERE REALLY THAT HELPFUL.
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I DIDN'T-- I JUST-- LOOK, I
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DIDN'T KNOW--
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- LAURIE: YOU DIDN'T KNOW, OR
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YOU DIDN'T THINK?
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- MATT: I DIDN'T THINK THEY
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WERE, BUT THEY REALLY ARE, SO
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WHY DON'T WE START THERE AND
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TALK ABOUT WHY DO THEY WORK?
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WHAT ARE THEY, FIRST OF ALL?
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I MEAN, YOU'RE A DOCTOR, SO
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EXPLAIN IT TO US WHY-- AND THEN
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WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT, AND, LOOK,
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BOTTOM LINE, WE WANT YOU TO DO
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LAURIE AND I DID IT.
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IT'S CALLED "BETTER LOVE," AND
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THAT ONE IS FOR COUPLES, BUT YOU
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HAVE THEM FOR SINGLE PEOPLE, YOU
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HAVE THEM FOR PROFESSIONALS, YOU
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HAVE THEM FOR COUNSELORS, AND
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ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF, AND SO
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WE'RE GONNA GET INTO ALL THAT,
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BUT WHAT ARE THEY, AND WHAT'S
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YOUR EXPERIENCE?
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I'VE HEARD THAT YOU KIND OF
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WORKED ON ONE THAT PEOPLE KNOW
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ABOUT A LITTLE BIT, KIND OF,
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CALLED "EHARMONY," SO, I MEAN,
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BUT WHAT ARE THEY REALLY?
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- LES: WELL, HERE'S WHAT WE
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KNOW AFTER YEARS OF FOCUSING ON
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RELATIONSHIPS.
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YOUR RELATIONSHIPS CAN ONLY BE
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LET ME SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME.
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THIS IS SO KEY.
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YOUR RELATIONSHIPS CAN ONLY BE
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AS HEALTHY AS YOU ARE,
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THEREFORE, ONE OF THE MOST
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IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'LL EVER DO
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FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS IS WORK
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ON WHO YOU ARE IN THE CONTEXT OF
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AND ONE OF THE BEST WAYS-- IN
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FACT, I THINK IT'S THE VERY BEST
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WAY TO DO THAT IS TO--
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WELL, IT COMES DOWN TO
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TWO THINGS:
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SELF-AWARENESS-- THINK ABOUT
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THAT FOR A SECOND:
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SELF-AWARENESS.
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IF YOU BECOME MORE AWARE OF YOU
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AND YOUR EMOTIONAL LANDSCAPE AND
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YOUR ISSUES AND SO FORTH, THEN
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YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT,
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RIGHT?
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- LESLIE: RIGHT, AWARENESS IS
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CURATIVE.
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IT REALLY IS BECAUSE IT OPENS
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YOUR EYES.
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YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHY INSIGHT IS
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SO POWERFUL, THAT "AH-HAH"
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MOMENT.
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- LES: AND THAT'S WHAT AN
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ASSESSMENT DOES.
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IT'S LIKE LOOKING IN A MIRROR
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FOR THE FIRST TIME AND GO, "OH,
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OKAY, I DIDN'T SEE IT THAT WAY
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BEFORE."
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SO THAT'S THE FIRST STEP FOR
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AN ASSESSMENT LIKE BETTER LOVE,
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AND THEN THE SECOND BIG
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ONE IS EMPATHY.
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AND EMPATHY, AS WE ALL KNOW,
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IS-- I THINK, IT'S THE MOST
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IMPORTANT SKILL SET WE EVER WORK
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ON AS HUMAN BEINGS, THE CAPACITY
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TO PUT OURSELVES IN SOMEBODY
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ELSE'S SHOES, SEE THE WORLD FROM
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THEIR PERSPECTIVE, IMAGINE WHAT
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LIFE MUST BE LIKE TO BE LIVED IN
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THEIR SKIN.
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I WISH WE COULD PACKAGE IT UP.
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WOULDN'T IT BE INCREDIBLE TO
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HAVE, LIKE, A BOTTLE OF EMPATHY
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THAT WE COULD GIVE TO A PERSON?
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I'D LIKE IT TO BE A SPRAY
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BOTTLE, YOU KNOW?
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AND YOU JUST COME HOME--
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EXACTLY, RIGHT?
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[LAUGHTER]
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"WE'RE HAVIN' A CONVERSATION
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RIGHT NOW.
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YOU REALLY NEED TO SEE MY
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PERSPECTIVE--"
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[SQUIRTING SOUND]
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RIGHT IN THE FACE.
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[LAUGHTER]
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AND, OF COURSE, WE CAN'T DO
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THAT, BUT WHAT WE CAN DO IS BOTH
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TAKE AN ASSESSMENT, AND IT WORKS
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IMPROVING YOUR SELF-AWARENESS
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AND INCREASING YOUR CAPACITY FOR
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EMPATHY, AND THAT'S A PRETTY BIG
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PROMISE.
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YOU DO THAT, AND LIFE GETS
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PRETTY SWEET BECAUSE, ALL OF A
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SUDDEN, YOU'RE GETTING HEALTHIER
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IN THE CONTEXT OF YOUR
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RELATIONSHIPS, THUS YOUR
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RELATIONSHIPS ARE TOO.
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- LESLIE: SO POWERFUL.
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IT'S LIKE AN X-RAY, REALLY, THAT
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WE SO OFTEN FEEL LIKE IT'S A
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MYSTERY, WHAT'S GOING ON IN ME,
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WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN US, AND
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IT JUST BRINGS IT OUT INTO THE
00:06:18.220 --> 00:06:20.150
LIGHT, AND THAT AWARENESS IS
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SUCH A GIFT.
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- LES: AND SOMETIMES GIVING US
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SUCH AN INSIGHT THAT WE REALLY--
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"OH, MAN, I WAS TOTALLY BLIND TO
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THAT.
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I DIDN'T-- NO WONDER THAT'S
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HAPPENING IN MY RELATIONSHIPS.
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I JUST DIDN'T SEE THAT BEFORE."
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AND THAT'S THE POWER OF AN
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ASSESSMENT.
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- LAURIE: SO THERE ARE PEOPLE
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THAT DON'T HAVE EMPATHY OR THAT
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THEY'RE NOT SUPER GOOD AT IT.
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MAYBE THEY'RE LOW ON
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THE SCALE WITH EMPATHY.
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CAN YOU MAKE YOURSELF--
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- LES: ARE YOU ASKING FOR HIM?
00:06:46.270 --> 00:06:48.130
[LAUGHTER]
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- LAURIE: MAYBE, MAYBE.
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- LESLIE: IS THIS A PERSONAL
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QUESTION?
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[LAUGHTER]
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- LAURIE: LET'S JUST SAY I HAVE
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MORE THAN HE DOES.
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- LES: WE TALKED A LITTLE OVER
00:06:57.240 --> 00:06:58.160
LUNCH ABOUT THAT.
00:06:58.160 --> 00:06:59.070
BUT, YEAH, HERE'S WHAT WE KNOW
00:06:59.070 --> 00:07:01.230
ABOUT EMPATHY: MOST OF US THINK
00:07:01.230 --> 00:07:02.270
WE'RE BETTER AT IT THAN WE
00:07:02.270 --> 00:07:04.030
REALLY ARE.
00:07:04.030 --> 00:07:05.000
WE KNOW THAT FROM RESEARCH--
00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:05.260
- LESLIE: YEAH, WE'RE PRETTY
00:07:05.260 --> 00:07:06.170
CONFIDENT, "I-- YEAH, I'VE GOT
00:07:06.170 --> 00:07:07.180
THIS."
00:07:07.180 --> 00:07:08.040
- LES: -- RIGHT?
00:07:08.040 --> 00:07:08.190
AND, SECONDLY, WE CONFUSE
00:07:08.190 --> 00:07:10.040
"SYMPATHY" WITH "EMPATHY."
00:07:10.040 --> 00:07:11.080
AS I TELL MY COUNSELING
00:07:11.080 --> 00:07:12.220
STUDENTS,
00:07:12.220 --> 00:07:13.130
"SYMPATHY" IS STANDING ON THE
00:07:13.130 --> 00:07:14.250
SHORE AND THROWING OUT A LIFE
00:07:14.250 --> 00:07:16.080
RING TO SOMEBODY THAT'S
00:07:16.080 --> 00:07:17.280
STRUGGLING IN THE WATER,"
00:07:17.280 --> 00:07:18.270
AND EVERYBODY IN THE
00:07:18.270 --> 00:07:19.140
STUDIO AUDIENCE AND EVERYBODY
00:07:19.140 --> 00:07:20.140
THAT'S LISTENING TO US RIGHT
00:07:20.140 --> 00:07:21.080
NOW WOULD DO THAT 'CAUSE WE'RE
00:07:21.080 --> 00:07:22.110
DECENT HUMAN BEINGS.
00:07:22.110 --> 00:07:23.030
"EMPATHY," MUCH MORE RISKY.
00:07:23.030 --> 00:07:25.010
"EMPATHY" IS ACTUALLY DIVING
00:07:25.010 --> 00:07:27.240
INTO THE WATER, RISKING YOUR OWN
00:07:27.240 --> 00:07:29.210
WELL-BEING, TO BRING THAT PERSON
00:07:29.210 --> 00:07:30.240
BACK TO SHORE, AND NOT EVERYBODY
00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:32.010
DOES THAT.
00:07:32.010 --> 00:07:32.250
IN FACT, THAT'S SO RARE, WHAT DO
00:07:32.250 --> 00:07:34.000
WE CALL THOSE PEOPLE?
00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:35.080
THEY'RE HEROES, RIGHT?
00:07:35.080 --> 00:07:36.050
- MATT: FIRST RESPONDERS, YEAH.
00:07:36.050 --> 00:07:37.070
- LES: YEAH, AND IT'S JUST AS
00:07:37.070 --> 00:07:38.020
HEROIC, YEAH.
00:07:38.020 --> 00:07:39.120
IT'S JUST AS HEROIC WHEN WE DO
00:07:39.120 --> 00:07:41.200
THAT IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS,
00:07:41.200 --> 00:07:43.060
WHETHER IT'S WITH FRIENDSHIPS OR
00:07:43.060 --> 00:07:44.170
MARRIAGE OR WORK RELATIONSHIPS.
00:07:44.170 --> 00:07:45.190
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THAT YOU
00:07:45.190 --> 00:07:48.010
CONSCIOUSLY THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT
00:07:48.010 --> 00:07:50.200
THE WORLD LOOKS LIKE FROM YOUR
00:07:50.200 --> 00:07:51.170
PARTNER'S PERSPECTIVE, RIGHT?
00:07:51.170 --> 00:07:54.020
WE DON'T GO AROUND ALL DAY
00:07:54.020 --> 00:07:55.040
THINKIN' ABOUT THAT ALL THE
00:07:55.040 --> 00:07:55.240
TIME.
00:07:55.240 --> 00:07:56.180
WE PROJECT OUR OWN FEELINGS AND
00:07:56.180 --> 00:07:57.290
STUFF ONTO THEM, RIGHT?
00:07:57.290 --> 00:07:59.070
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID
00:07:59.070 --> 00:08:00.150
THAT FOR ME?
00:08:00.150 --> 00:08:01.020
[LAUGHTER]
00:08:01.020 --> 00:08:03.280
- LAURIE: NOW WE'RE GETTIN'
00:08:03.280 --> 00:08:04.180
SOMEWHERE.
00:08:04.180 --> 00:08:04.290
- LESLIE: THIS MORNING WHEN I
00:08:04.290 --> 00:08:05.200
ROLLED OUT OF BED.
00:08:05.200 --> 00:08:06.160
- LES: OH, REALLY, ALL DAY
00:08:06.160 --> 00:08:07.240
LONG, YEAH, RIGHT.
00:08:07.240 --> 00:08:09.190
[LAUGHTER]
00:08:09.190 --> 00:08:10.000
- LES: DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:10.210
ON EMPATHY, I COULD TALK ALL
00:08:10.210 --> 00:08:12.080
NIGHT ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT'S SUCH
00:08:12.080 --> 00:08:13.050
AN IMPORTANT SUBJECT, AND I WISH
00:08:13.050 --> 00:08:14.150
WE COULD PRESS A MAGIC BUTTON.
00:08:14.150 --> 00:08:16.060
I WISH WE COULD GIVE IT AS A
00:08:16.060 --> 00:08:17.050
WEDDING GIFT TO PEOPLE.
00:08:17.050 --> 00:08:17.240
IT'S SO POWERFUL.
00:08:17.240 --> 00:08:19.210
- LESLIE: PART OF EMPATHY IS
00:08:19.210 --> 00:08:20.290
ACTUALLY SELF-AWARENESS 'CAUSE
00:08:20.290 --> 00:08:22.030
YOU KIND OF HAVE TO BE REALLY IN
00:08:22.030 --> 00:08:23.180
TOUCH WITH YOUR OWN SELF TO KNOW
00:08:23.180 --> 00:08:24.100
HOW YOU FEEL IN A MOMENT, AND
00:08:24.100 --> 00:08:25.240
THEN YOU KIND OF HAVE THE
00:08:25.240 --> 00:08:27.290
MATURITY TO SET THAT ASIDE AND
00:08:27.290 --> 00:08:29.080
REALLY ENTER IN: "NOW, WHAT'S MY
00:08:29.080 --> 00:08:31.030
SPOUSE FEELING?"
00:08:31.030 --> 00:08:33.250
AND YOU DO THAT WHOLEHEARTEDLY,
00:08:33.250 --> 00:08:35.070
AND BOTH OF THOSE PIECES ARE SO
00:08:35.070 --> 00:08:36.110
POWERFUL BECAUSE IT REALLY DOES
00:08:36.110 --> 00:08:38.020
CHANGE YOU ONCE YOU SEE IT FROM
00:08:38.020 --> 00:08:40.080
THEIR SIDE.
00:08:40.080 --> 00:08:41.160
- LES: THAT'S THE POINT.
00:08:41.160 --> 00:08:42.050
IT WILL CHANGE YOU.
00:08:42.050 --> 00:08:42.210
YOU CAN'T LOOK AT LIFE FROM
00:08:42.210 --> 00:08:44.050
SOMEBODY ELSE'S PERSPECTIVE
00:08:44.050 --> 00:08:45.120
WITHOUT, ALL OF A SUDDEN, HAVIN'
00:08:45.120 --> 00:08:46.200
A NEW INSIGHT, "OH, NO WONDER
00:08:46.200 --> 00:08:47.210
THEY DO THAT.
00:08:47.210 --> 00:08:49.040
THAT'S WHY THEY DRIVE ME NUTS
00:08:49.040 --> 00:08:50.070
BECAUSE NOW I SEE WHY THEY WOULD
00:08:50.070 --> 00:08:51.010
DO THAT," RIGHT?
00:08:51.010 --> 00:08:52.200
- LESLIE: YEAH, IT WAS THEIR
00:08:52.200 --> 00:08:53.230
ANXIETY, IT WAS THEIR FEAR,
00:08:53.230 --> 00:08:54.170
WHATEVER IT WAS.
00:08:54.170 --> 00:08:55.070
- LES: IT WAS THE HOME THEY
00:08:55.070 --> 00:08:56.070
GREW UP IN, WHATEVER IT MIGHT
00:08:56.070 --> 00:08:56.280
BE, AND WHEN YOU HAVE THAT GOING
00:08:56.280 --> 00:08:58.140
BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN TWO
00:08:58.140 --> 00:08:59.280
PEOPLE, THE RESEARCH SHOWS US
00:08:59.280 --> 00:09:01.040
THOSE ARE THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE ON
00:09:01.040 --> 00:09:02.280
THE PLANET.
00:09:02.280 --> 00:09:04.140
MUTUAL EMPATHY, IT'S AN
00:09:04.140 --> 00:09:06.040
INCREDIBLE BLESSING.
00:09:06.040 --> 00:09:06.250
- MATT: OKAY, YOU SEEM TO KNOW
00:09:06.250 --> 00:09:07.170
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SO
00:09:07.170 --> 00:09:09.040
FAR.
00:09:09.040 --> 00:09:10.140
[LAUGHTER]
00:09:10.140 --> 00:09:11.010
YOU KNOW, I MEAN, YOU SOUND LIKE
00:09:11.010 --> 00:09:11.230
DOCTORS.
00:09:11.230 --> 00:09:13.160
- LES: I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS A
00:09:13.160 --> 00:09:14.140
TEST, OKAY.
00:09:14.140 --> 00:09:15.030
- MATT: YEAH, YEAH.
00:09:15.030 --> 00:09:15.210
- LESLIE: IT'S AN ASSESSMENT.
00:09:15.210 --> 00:09:16.120
[LAUGHTER]
00:09:16.120 --> 00:09:16.230
- LAURIE: JUST TESTING YOU.
00:09:16.230 --> 00:09:18.060
- MATT: YOU'RE DOIN' A SCREEN
00:09:18.060 --> 00:09:19.070
TEST RIGHT NOW, AND YOU JUST
00:09:19.070 --> 00:09:19.280
DON'T KNOW IT.
00:09:19.280 --> 00:09:20.130
BUT, BASICALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT
00:09:20.130 --> 00:09:21.120
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
00:09:22.240 --> 00:09:25.240
YOU WERE A PART OF THE EHARMONY
00:09:25.240 --> 00:09:28.230
THING THAT TENS OF MILLIONS OF
00:09:28.230 --> 00:09:31.090
PEOPLE DID THAT WERE TRYING TO
00:09:31.090 --> 00:09:33.040
MATCH PEOPLE, RIGHT?
00:09:33.040 --> 00:09:34.260
- MATT: SO WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
00:09:37.020 --> 00:09:38.050
ISSUES WHERE THE BETTER LOVE
00:09:38.050 --> 00:09:39.220
ASSESSMENT THAT LAURIE AND I DID
00:09:40.010 --> 00:09:43.010
RECENTLY, WE SEEM TO ANSWER A
00:09:43.100 --> 00:09:46.100
BUNCH OF QUESTIONS THAT HAD TO
00:09:46.100 --> 00:09:48.050
DO WITH LOTS OF DIFFERENT
00:09:48.050 --> 00:09:50.020
SUBJECTS, AND YOU READ THESE
00:09:50.110 --> 00:09:53.110
STATEMENTS, AND YOU KIND OF PICK
00:09:53.110 --> 00:09:54.240
THE ONE THAT YOU SEEM IS THE
00:09:54.240 --> 00:09:56.170
MOST LIKE YOU, OR SOMETHING LIKE
00:09:56.170 --> 00:09:57.150
THAT, AND THEN IT ALL GETS KIND
00:09:57.150 --> 00:09:58.070
OF FORMULATED.
00:09:58.070 --> 00:10:00.050
WE'RE GONNA, KIND OF, PICK ONE
00:10:00.050 --> 00:10:00.260
UP HERE IN A MINUTE AND GET INTO
00:10:00.260 --> 00:10:02.080
AND WE'RE GONNA UN-PERSONALIZE
00:10:06.030 --> 00:10:06.240
IT AT THAT MOMENT--
00:10:06.240 --> 00:10:09.040
[LAUGHTER]
00:10:09.040 --> 00:10:10.040
-- BUT WE WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU
00:10:10.040 --> 00:10:10.260
KNOW DR. LES AND LESLIE ARE
00:10:10.260 --> 00:10:13.060
GONNA BE WITH US ALL NIGHT.
00:10:13.060 --> 00:10:15.050
WE'RE GONNA BE TALKING ABOUT ALL
00:10:15.050 --> 00:10:15.270
SORTS OF STUFF, INCLUDING "LOVE
00:10:15.270 --> 00:10:17.000
LIKE THAT," DRS. PARROTT'S NEW
00:10:17.000 --> 00:10:17.280
BOOK, HAPPENS TO BE A "NEW YORK
00:10:17.280 --> 00:10:19.180
TIMES" NUMBER ONE BEST-SELLING
00:10:19.180 --> 00:10:21.140
AUTHOR, ALSO PART OF ALL THESE
00:10:21.140 --> 00:10:22.150
ASSESSMENT TESTS WE'RE GONNA
00:10:22.150 --> 00:10:23.270
TALK ABOUT.
00:10:23.270 --> 00:10:26.130
WE DID A LITTLE BIO PIECE.
00:10:26.130 --> 00:10:27.020
ALL NIGHT WITH US,
00:10:27.020 --> 00:10:28.060
DRS. LES AND LESLIE.
00:10:28.060 --> 00:10:29.260
WATCH THIS.
00:10:29.260 --> 00:10:31.180
- ANNOUNCER: LES AND LESLIE
00:10:31.180 --> 00:10:32.080
PARROTT, A DYNAMIC DUO WHO SHARE
00:10:32.080 --> 00:10:34.270
A PASSION FOR BUILDING HEALTHY
00:10:34.270 --> 00:10:36.110
RELATIONSHIPS.
00:10:36.190 --> 00:10:39.190
LES IS A PROFESSOR OF PSYCHOLOGY
00:10:39.190 --> 00:10:40.170
AT NORTHWEST UNIVERSITY, AND
00:10:40.170 --> 00:10:42.260
BOTH ARE FOUNDERS OF THE CENTER
00:10:42.260 --> 00:10:43.230
FOR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AT
00:10:43.230 --> 00:10:45.050
OLIVET UNIVERSITY IN
00:10:45.050 --> 00:10:46.220
KANKAKEE, ILLINOIS.
00:10:46.220 --> 00:10:49.080
- LESLIE: WHEN YOU'RE TAKING
00:10:49.080 --> 00:10:49.290
OWNERSHIP OF IT INSTEAD OF
00:10:49.290 --> 00:10:51.020
PLACING BLAME, THAT'S WHEN YOU
00:10:51.020 --> 00:10:52.200
START WORKING TOWARD RESOLVE.
00:10:52.200 --> 00:10:54.100
- ANNOUNCER: LESLIE, A MARRIAGE
00:10:54.100 --> 00:10:56.050
AND FAMILY THERAPIST, AND LES, A
00:10:56.050 --> 00:10:58.200
CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST, ARE KNOWN
00:10:58.200 --> 00:11:01.130
FOR BRINGING REAL-LIFE EXAMPLES
00:11:01.130 --> 00:11:02.240
TO THEIR PRESENTATIONS AND
00:11:02.240 --> 00:11:04.030
DELIVERING CUTTING EDGE
00:11:04.030 --> 00:11:05.290
INSIGHTFUL MESSAGES.
00:11:05.290 --> 00:11:07.270
EVERY YEAR, THE PARROTTS SPEAK
00:11:07.270 --> 00:11:09.270
IN MORE THAN 40 CITIES,
00:11:09.270 --> 00:11:12.030
ADDRESSING AN ARRAY OF AUDIENCES
00:11:12.030 --> 00:11:13.070
FROM CHURCHES TO FORTUNE 500
00:11:13.070 --> 00:11:15.220
COMPANIES.
00:11:15.220 --> 00:11:16.280
THE GOVERNOR OF OKLAHOMA
00:11:16.280 --> 00:11:19.260
APPOINTED THEM AS THE FIRST-EVER
00:11:19.260 --> 00:11:20.180
STATEWIDE MARRIAGE AMBASSADORS.
00:11:20.180 --> 00:11:23.080
- LES: I CAN SAY TO LESLIE,
00:11:23.080 --> 00:11:24.110
"WOW, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE
00:11:24.110 --> 00:11:25.050
REALLY FEELING UPSET ABOUT
00:11:25.050 --> 00:11:26.080
THAT."
00:11:26.080 --> 00:11:28.140
- LESLIE: I DON'T KNOW IF I'M
00:11:28.140 --> 00:11:29.050
UPSET.
00:11:29.050 --> 00:11:29.160
I THINK I'M REALLY ANGRY ABOUT
00:11:29.160 --> 00:11:31.050
IT.
00:11:31.050 --> 00:11:32.110
- LES: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I WAS
00:11:32.110 --> 00:11:33.030
GONNA SAY, "ANGRY ABOUT THAT,"
00:11:33.030 --> 00:11:33.240
YEAH, RIGHT.
00:11:33.240 --> 00:11:34.060
[LAUGHTER]
00:11:34.060 --> 00:11:35.100
[MUSIC]
00:11:35.100 --> 00:11:37.010
- ANNOUNCER: AUTHORITIES HAVE
00:11:37.010 --> 00:11:37.220
ALSO CALLED UPON LES AND LESLIE
00:11:37.220 --> 00:11:38.140
TO PROVIDE SUPPORT IN THE
00:11:38.140 --> 00:11:40.080
AFTERMATH OF WORLDWIDE
00:11:40.080 --> 00:11:42.000
DISASTERS, INCLUDING GROUND ZERO
00:11:43.260 --> 00:11:46.260
AND CHERNOBYL.
00:11:46.260 --> 00:11:48.040
AS NUMBER ONE "NEW YORK TIMES"
00:11:48.040 --> 00:11:48.250
BEST-SELLING AUTHORS, THEIR
00:11:48.250 --> 00:11:50.040
BOOKS HAVE SOLD OVER TWO MILLION
00:11:50.040 --> 00:11:52.020
COPIES IN MORE THAN TWO DOZEN
00:11:52.020 --> 00:11:53.080
LANGUAGES.
00:11:53.080 --> 00:11:56.020
THE PARROTT'S HAVE ALSO BEEN
00:11:56.020 --> 00:11:57.140
FEATURED IN SEVERAL MEDIA
00:11:57.140 --> 00:11:58.120
OUTLETS.
00:11:58.120 --> 00:11:59.000
PART OF THEIR VISION IS TO EQUIP
00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:00.190
MORE THAN A MILLION MARRIAGE
00:12:00.190 --> 00:12:02.060
MENTORS TO HELP OTHERS BUILD
00:12:02.060 --> 00:12:03.280
STRONGER LIFELONG MARRIAGES.
00:12:03.280 --> 00:12:06.060
HERE ON "PRAISE,"
00:12:06.060 --> 00:12:09.020
LES AND LESLIE PARROTT.
00:12:09.020 --> 00:12:10.270
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
00:12:11.030 --> 00:12:14.030
- MATT: I LIKE IT.
00:12:14.030 --> 00:12:14.190
"PRAISE" IS ABOUT BETTER LOVE,
00:12:14.230 --> 00:12:17.230
RIGHT HERE, ALL NIGHT.
00:12:17.230 --> 00:12:19.190
WE WANNA TALK ABOUT THAT, BUT I
00:12:19.190 --> 00:12:21.060
HAVE--
00:12:21.060 --> 00:12:22.160
- LES: I JUST GOTTA SAY-- I
00:12:22.160 --> 00:12:23.060
GOTTA INTERRUPT YOU FOR A
00:12:23.060 --> 00:12:23.250
SECOND.
00:12:23.250 --> 00:12:24.060
THAT PACKAGE THAT YOU JUST
00:12:24.060 --> 00:12:25.010
ROLLED, NEXT TIME I'M FEELIN'
00:12:25.010 --> 00:12:26.120
BAD ABOUT MYSELF, I'M GONNA
00:12:26.120 --> 00:12:27.110
WATCH THAT.
00:12:27.110 --> 00:12:28.210
[LAUGHTER]
00:12:28.210 --> 00:12:29.070
YOU GUYS MADE US LOOK PRETTY
00:12:29.070 --> 00:12:29.270
GOOD.
00:12:29.270 --> 00:12:30.060
- MATT: YOU CAN GET OUR APP.
00:12:30.060 --> 00:12:31.080
YOU CAN RE-WATCH IT ANYTIME YOU
00:12:31.080 --> 00:12:32.040
WANT.
00:12:32.040 --> 00:12:32.230
IT'S PERFECT.
00:12:32.230 --> 00:12:33.180
OKAY, BETTER LOVE IS SOMETHING
00:12:34.210 --> 00:12:37.210
I'M INTERESTED IN.
00:12:37.210 --> 00:12:39.160
I'M INTERESTED IN BETTER
00:12:39.160 --> 00:12:41.170
RELATIONSHIPS.
00:12:41.170 --> 00:12:42.110
I'M INTERESTED IN THIS SUBJECT
00:12:42.110 --> 00:12:44.210
BECAUSE THE ONE OR TWO THAT
00:12:44.270 --> 00:12:47.270
LAURIE AND I HAVE DONE OVER THE
00:12:47.270 --> 00:12:49.020
YEARS ACTUALLY TAUGHT ME
00:12:49.020 --> 00:12:50.240
SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY SHE
00:12:50.240 --> 00:12:53.100
MIGHT ACT OR DO SOMETHING, AND
00:12:53.100 --> 00:12:55.170
SOMETHING THAT I JUST DIDN'T
00:12:55.170 --> 00:12:57.160
UNDERSTAND, I COMPLETELY
00:12:57.160 --> 00:13:00.140
UNDERSTAND IT, AND MAYBE I'LL
00:13:00.140 --> 00:13:02.100
LEARN MORE TONIGHT DURING THIS
00:13:02.100 --> 00:13:03.070
BROADCAST.
00:13:03.080 --> 00:13:06.080
OKAY, BUT--
00:13:06.080 --> 00:13:07.070
- LAURIE: THAT'S GOOD.
00:13:07.070 --> 00:13:08.060
- MATT: WHAT?
00:13:08.060 --> 00:13:08.240
- LAURIE: THAT'S GOOD.
00:13:08.240 --> 00:13:09.120
- MATT: I'M DOING GOOD SO FAR?
00:13:09.120 --> 00:13:10.040
- LAURIE: YEAH, YOU'RE DOING
00:13:10.040 --> 00:13:10.250
GREAT, BABY.
00:13:10.250 --> 00:13:11.080
- MATT: OKAY, THANK YOU, BABY.
00:13:11.080 --> 00:13:14.050
[LAUGHTER]
00:13:14.050 --> 00:13:14.230
AFTER 33 YEARS, WE'RE LEARNING.
00:13:14.230 --> 00:13:15.150
SO, QUESTION THOUGH, WHAT IF YOU
00:13:19.110 --> 00:13:22.110
ARE IN A MARRIAGE, AND YOU
00:13:22.110 --> 00:13:23.060
JUST DON'T CARE?
00:13:23.060 --> 00:13:25.260
HOW DO YOU GET SOMEONE TO START
00:13:25.260 --> 00:13:26.180
CARING?
00:13:26.180 --> 00:13:29.000
YOU GUYS WERE SITTING THERE JUST
00:13:29.000 --> 00:13:29.220
A MINUTE AGO, TALKING LIKE, YOU
00:13:29.220 --> 00:13:31.000
KNOW, YOU START LEARNING THINGS,
00:13:31.210 --> 00:13:34.210
AND YOU START DOIN' THAT.
00:13:34.210 --> 00:13:36.140
WHAT IF SOMEBODY JUST DOESN'T
00:13:36.140 --> 00:13:37.090
CARE ENOUGH TO EVEN ASK THE
00:13:37.090 --> 00:13:37.290
QUESTION?
00:13:37.290 --> 00:13:40.250
HOW DO WE START THIS PROCESS IF
00:13:40.250 --> 00:13:41.170
SOMEONE'S SITTIN' WITH THEIR
00:13:41.170 --> 00:13:44.010
SPOUSE AND DON'T CARE?
00:13:47.040 --> 00:13:50.040
- LES: YEAH, I LOVE THAT
00:13:50.040 --> 00:13:50.230
QUESTION.
00:13:50.230 --> 00:13:51.040
FIRST OF ALL, TO MAKE SURE
00:13:51.040 --> 00:13:52.200
WHEN YOU TAKE THE BETTER LOVE
00:13:55.080 --> 00:13:56.040
ASSESSMENT, YOU GO ONLINE, YOU
00:13:56.040 --> 00:13:57.020
ANSWER A SERIES OF QUESTIONS.
00:13:57.020 --> 00:13:58.110
TAKES ABOUT 10, 15 MINUTES.
00:13:58.110 --> 00:13:59.150
HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU GUYS?
00:13:59.150 --> 00:14:00.100
ABOUT THAT?
00:14:00.100 --> 00:14:01.040
- MATT: IT TOOK ME ABOUT AN
00:14:01.040 --> 00:14:01.240
HOUR.
00:14:01.240 --> 00:14:03.170
[LAUGHTER]
00:14:03.170 --> 00:14:05.040
YEAH, IT'S 15, 20 MINUTES.
00:14:05.040 --> 00:14:06.180
- LES: YEAH, WELL, THAT SAYS
00:14:06.180 --> 00:14:07.090
SOMETHIN' ABOUT YOUR
00:14:07.090 --> 00:14:08.020
PERSONALITY.
00:14:08.020 --> 00:14:08.150
[LAUGHTER]
00:14:08.150 --> 00:14:10.100
- MATT: I WAS DISTRACTED.
00:14:10.100 --> 00:14:11.060
- LES: WE DON'T EVEN NEED THE
00:14:11.060 --> 00:14:12.070
BUT, NO, SO YOU ANSWER.
00:14:14.170 --> 00:14:17.040
IT TAKES A FEW, YOU KNOW,
00:14:17.040 --> 00:14:17.230
MINUTES TO DO THAT.
00:14:17.230 --> 00:14:18.140
YOU EACH DO IT SEPARATELY,
00:14:18.140 --> 00:14:19.190
IDEALLY WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT
00:14:19.190 --> 00:14:21.060
IT, AND THEN THAT INSTANTLY
00:14:21.060 --> 00:14:23.030
GENERATES THIS TEN-PAGE LITTLE
00:14:23.030 --> 00:14:25.260
REPORT, AND I KNOW AS SOON AS I
00:14:25.260 --> 00:14:26.260
SAY, "A REPORT," LIKE, SOME OF
00:14:26.260 --> 00:14:28.120
OUR VIEWERS ARE GOING LIKE,
00:14:28.120 --> 00:14:29.100
"THAT'S THE LAST THING I WANT IS
00:14:29.100 --> 00:14:30.290
A REPORT ON MY RELATIONSHIP."
00:14:30.290 --> 00:14:33.260
IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF A REPORT.
00:14:33.260 --> 00:14:34.180
IT'S A CUSTOMIZED ROAD MAP FOR
00:14:34.180 --> 00:14:35.240
LIFELONG LOVE.
00:14:35.240 --> 00:14:38.080
THAT'S REALLY WHAT IT IS, AGAIN,
00:14:38.080 --> 00:14:39.000
EVEN IF YOU'RE DATING OR MARRIED
00:14:39.000 --> 00:14:40.050
FOR DECADES.
00:14:40.050 --> 00:14:41.140
AND SO THAT LITTLE REPORT IS
00:14:41.140 --> 00:14:43.200
THE PARAGRAPHS ON YOUR REPORT
00:14:48.040 --> 00:14:48.250
WON'T BE ON ANYBODY ELSE'S
00:14:48.250 --> 00:14:50.030
REPORT BECAUSE THERE'S 40.000
00:14:50.030 --> 00:14:52.140
VARIABLES THAT GO INTO THESE
00:14:52.140 --> 00:14:53.140
LITTLE PARAGRAPHS, SO THERE'S
00:14:53.140 --> 00:14:55.010
LOTS OF LEVERS BEING PULLED THE
00:14:55.010 --> 00:14:56.070
SCENES TO GENERATE WHAT'S ON
00:14:56.070 --> 00:14:58.080
THIS THING, SO, VERY CUSTOMIZED,
00:14:58.080 --> 00:14:59.220
AND SO TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION,
00:15:00.220 --> 00:15:03.220
THERE'S NEVER BEEN A MARRIAGE
00:15:03.220 --> 00:15:05.220
AND THERE NEVER WILL BE AGAIN
00:15:09.140 --> 00:15:10.200
BECAUSE YOU HAVE THIS GOD-GIVEN
00:15:10.200 --> 00:15:11.290
PERSONALITY THAT HAS ALL THIS
00:15:11.290 --> 00:15:13.050
MULTIFACETED STUFF GOIN' ON IN
00:15:13.050 --> 00:15:15.140
THE DNA OF WHO YOU ARE, AND SAME
00:15:15.140 --> 00:15:17.060
WITH YOU, AND YOU BRING THAT
00:15:17.060 --> 00:15:18.180
TOGETHER, AND YOU CREATE A
00:15:18.180 --> 00:15:19.200
CHEMISTRY THAT HAS NEVER EXISTED
00:15:19.200 --> 00:15:22.060
BEFORE, AND IT'S THE SAME FOR
00:15:22.060 --> 00:15:24.270
EVERY COUPLE ON THE PLANET.
00:15:24.270 --> 00:15:26.110
WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT.
00:15:26.110 --> 00:15:27.070
THERE'S NEVER BEEN A
00:15:27.070 --> 00:15:28.120
RELATIONSHIP LIKE YOURS BEFORE.
00:15:28.120 --> 00:15:30.020
THAT'S WHY THIS IS HIGHLY
00:15:30.020 --> 00:15:31.040
CUSTOMIZED.
00:15:31.040 --> 00:15:31.220
SO IF YOU ARE NOW DOWN THE ROAD
00:15:31.270 --> 00:15:34.270
IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND
00:15:34.270 --> 00:15:36.110
SUDDENLY IT'S LIKE, "I DON'T
00:15:36.110 --> 00:15:37.230
KNOW WHAT I SAW IN THIS PERSON,"
00:15:37.230 --> 00:15:39.030
THE QUESTION YOU'RE ASKING IS
00:15:39.030 --> 00:15:41.060
"CAN AN ASSESSMENT TOOL STILL BE
00:15:41.060 --> 00:15:42.210
HELPFUL TO A COUPLE LIKE THAT?"
00:15:42.210 --> 00:15:44.150
RIGHT?
00:15:44.150 --> 00:15:46.040
- LESLIE: YEAH, IT'S ACTUALLY
00:15:46.040 --> 00:15:46.250
PRETTY EPIC BECAUSE, WHEN
00:15:47.010 --> 00:15:50.010
SOMEONE IS DISTANT FROM THE
00:15:50.010 --> 00:15:51.080
RELATIONSHIP, DOESN'T HAVE A LOT
00:15:51.080 --> 00:15:52.040
OF ENERGY, DOESN'T FEEL ENGAGED,
00:15:52.040 --> 00:15:53.250
USUALLY THEY HAVE A SENSE OF
00:15:53.250 --> 00:15:54.210
BOREDOM.
00:15:54.210 --> 00:15:55.250
YOU KNOW, THEY'RE OUT OF TOUCH
00:15:55.250 --> 00:15:57.160
WITH EACH OTHER.
00:15:57.160 --> 00:15:58.080
THEY DON'T FEEL THAT CONNECTION,
00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:00.080
OR MAYBE THEY'RE NUMB BECAUSE
00:16:00.080 --> 00:16:02.100
THEY'VE BEEN HURT, AND THEY'RE
00:16:02.100 --> 00:16:03.150
TRYING TO PROTECT THEMSELF, AND
00:16:03.150 --> 00:16:04.130
SO THIS IS A WINDOW IN.
00:16:04.240 --> 00:16:07.240
THIS IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN
00:16:08.050 --> 00:16:11.050
FIND YOUR CONNECTIONS AGAIN,
00:16:11.050 --> 00:16:11.250
WHERE YOU CAN BE REMINDED OF
00:16:11.250 --> 00:16:14.030
THOSE AND TAKE THEM FURTHER, AND
00:16:14.030 --> 00:16:16.050
AND YOU JUST COME AS YOUR
00:16:18.250 --> 00:16:20.000
AUTHENTIC SELF.
00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:21.070
YOU DON'T PRETEND.
00:16:21.070 --> 00:16:22.290
YOU DON'T ANSWER THE QUESTIONS
00:16:22.290 --> 00:16:23.200
IN ANY WAY THAT ISN'T JUST
00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:24.280
TOTALLY AUTHENTIC.
00:16:24.280 --> 00:16:26.170
AND LIKE YOU SAID, IT'S NOT A
00:16:26.170 --> 00:16:27.290
"REPORT."
00:16:27.290 --> 00:16:29.150
IT'S NOT SOMETHING USED AGAINST
00:16:29.150 --> 00:16:30.190
YOU TO GRADE THE RELATIONSHIP.
00:16:30.190 --> 00:16:32.050
THIS IS A GENTLE GUIDE THAT GETS
00:16:32.050 --> 00:16:34.230
YOU MOVING IN THE DIRECTION THAT
00:16:34.230 --> 00:16:36.160
YOU NEED TO GO.
00:16:36.160 --> 00:16:38.170
WE ALL KNOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO
00:16:38.170 --> 00:16:39.150
WORK ON OUR RELATIONSHIPS, BUT
00:16:39.150 --> 00:16:41.030
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
00:16:41.030 --> 00:16:42.220
LIKE, "OH, YOU KNOW, IF I'M
00:16:42.220 --> 00:16:44.010
FEELING HURT, I DON'T WANNA WORK
00:16:44.010 --> 00:16:45.100
ON THIS."
00:16:45.100 --> 00:16:47.080
BUT THIS TAKES THAT TO A GENTLE
00:16:47.080 --> 00:16:49.290
PLACE WHERE YOU NOW KNOW
00:16:49.290 --> 00:16:51.100
- LES: YEAH, IN FACT, IT COMES
00:16:55.200 --> 00:16:56.120
WITH A LITTLE GUIDE, AN ACTION
00:16:56.120 --> 00:16:57.030
PLAN, SO YOU CAN PUT IT INTO
00:16:57.030 --> 00:16:58.180
PRACTICE OVER TWO OR THREE DATE
00:16:58.180 --> 00:16:59.200
NIGHTS TOGETHER IF YOU WANT TO
00:16:59.200 --> 00:17:01.130
DO THAT.
00:17:01.130 --> 00:17:03.220
SO IT'S FUN, IT'S UPBEAT, NO
00:17:03.220 --> 00:17:04.250
GUILT, NO SHAME, NO
00:17:04.250 --> 00:17:05.110
FINGER-POINTING, AND NO GRADING.
00:17:05.110 --> 00:17:06.190
YOU CAN'T PASS OR FAIL ON THIS
00:17:06.190 --> 00:17:09.010
THING.
00:17:09.010 --> 00:17:10.000
IT'S JUST INFORMATION.
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:11.180
IT'S LIKE LOOKIN' IN A MIRROR
00:17:11.180 --> 00:17:12.120
AND GOIN', "OH, DID YOU SEE THAT
00:17:12.120 --> 00:17:14.210
ABOUT US?
00:17:14.210 --> 00:17:15.140
WE SHOULD DO SOMETHIN' ABOUT
00:17:15.140 --> 00:17:16.050
THAT," OR "ISN'T THIS COOL?
00:17:16.050 --> 00:17:16.250
HIGH FIVE.
00:17:16.250 --> 00:17:17.060
WE'RE DOIN' THIS--"
00:17:17.060 --> 00:17:17.230
- MATT: OKAY, WHAT IF THERE'S A
00:17:17.230 --> 00:17:18.270
JIM AND A MADGE, SITTING ON THE
00:17:18.270 --> 00:17:21.200
COUCH RIGHT NOW--
00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:23.090
[LAUGHTER]
00:17:23.090 --> 00:17:23.230
- LES: OKAY.
00:17:23.230 --> 00:17:24.220
- MATT: JIM AND MADGE.
00:17:24.220 --> 00:17:25.100
WHAT IF THERE REALLY IS A JIM
00:17:25.100 --> 00:17:26.010
AND A MADGE?
00:17:26.010 --> 00:17:26.130
- LESLIE: THERE PROBABLY IS.
00:17:26.130 --> 00:17:27.040
- LAURIE: HI, JIM AND MADGE.
00:17:27.040 --> 00:17:28.060
- MATT: AND THEY'RE GOIN', "OH,
00:17:28.060 --> 00:17:29.010
MY GOD."
00:17:29.010 --> 00:17:29.260
[LAUGHTER]
00:17:29.260 --> 00:17:30.140
SO JIM AND MADGE ARE SITTIN'
00:17:30.140 --> 00:17:32.200
THERE, AND THEY DON'T CARE
00:17:32.200 --> 00:17:35.040
ENOUGH TO DO THIS.
00:17:35.040 --> 00:17:37.210
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THEM, DOCTOR?
00:17:37.210 --> 00:17:38.190
- LES: WELL, IF THEY DON'T CARE
00:17:38.190 --> 00:17:39.280
ENOUGH TO DO THAT, THEY'RE ON A
00:17:39.280 --> 00:17:41.130
PATH THAT'S GONNA MEAN THAT THE
00:17:41.130 --> 00:17:42.240
RELATIONSHIP'S GONNA FALTER,
00:17:42.240 --> 00:17:45.050
RIGHT?
00:17:45.050 --> 00:17:45.210
I MEAN, IF YOU DON'T CARE-- WE
00:17:45.210 --> 00:17:47.250
ALWAYS SAY THINGS LIKE, "TAKE
00:17:47.250 --> 00:17:49.030
CARE," RIGHT?
00:17:49.030 --> 00:17:50.220
WE'RE KIND OF FLIPPANT WITH
00:17:50.220 --> 00:17:51.120
THAT.
00:17:51.120 --> 00:17:52.010
"CARE" IS THE BEDROCK OF A
00:17:52.010 --> 00:17:53.090
RELATIONSHIP.
00:17:53.090 --> 00:17:55.180
IF YOU DON'T CARE ANYMORE, THE
00:17:55.180 --> 00:17:56.090
RELATIONSHIP IS ATROPHYING.
00:17:56.090 --> 00:17:56.290
IT'S DYING.
00:17:56.290 --> 00:17:59.250
SO THAT'S WHEN YOU GOTTA GO,
00:17:59.250 --> 00:18:00.170
"OH, WHOA, WE ARE ON A-- WE'RE
00:18:00.170 --> 00:18:02.060
PLAYIN' WITH FIRE."
00:18:02.060 --> 00:18:03.070
- LAURIE: NOW YOU NEED THIS
00:18:03.070 --> 00:18:04.170
BOOK.
00:18:04.170 --> 00:18:04.290
- MATT: WELL, CAN YOU
00:18:04.290 --> 00:18:05.280
ACTUALLY-- I DON'T KNOW WHAT
00:18:05.280 --> 00:18:07.140
THAT WOULD BE LIKE.
00:18:07.140 --> 00:18:08.220
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT WOULD
00:18:08.220 --> 00:18:09.140
FEEL LIKE.
00:18:09.140 --> 00:18:09.290
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT WOULD
00:18:09.290 --> 00:18:11.070
FEEL LIKE, BUT IF SOMEBODY'S
00:18:11.070 --> 00:18:12.210
FEELING LIKE THAT, CAN IT GET
00:18:12.210 --> 00:18:13.210
FIXED?
00:18:13.210 --> 00:18:15.230
HAVE YOU SEEN THAT IN YOUR
00:18:15.230 --> 00:18:17.210
CLINICAL PRACTICE?
00:18:17.210 --> 00:18:18.240
- LESLIE: YEAH, I LOVE THIS
00:18:18.240 --> 00:18:19.170
QUESTION.
00:18:19.170 --> 00:18:20.290
- MATT: CAN COMPLETE PEOPLE
00:18:20.290 --> 00:18:22.230
THAT JUST DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER
00:18:22.230 --> 00:18:23.220
OR DON'T CARE, CAN THEY GET OVER
00:18:23.220 --> 00:18:24.280
IT AND GET MOVIN' AGAIN?
00:18:24.280 --> 00:18:27.020
- LESLIE: HERE'S THE POWERFUL
00:18:27.020 --> 00:18:28.150
THING.
00:18:28.150 --> 00:18:30.040
YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE SITTING IN A
00:18:30.040 --> 00:18:30.260
ROOM AND YOU'RE WONDERING--
00:18:30.260 --> 00:18:31.180
FIRST OF ALL, WHEN YOU DON'T
00:18:31.180 --> 00:18:32.180
CARE, IT'S GENERALLY A
00:18:32.180 --> 00:18:33.210
YOU'VE LOST HOPE IS WHAT THAT'S
00:18:36.170 --> 00:18:37.180
SAYING.
00:18:37.180 --> 00:18:38.070
SO THIS DOES REQUIRE A STEP OF
00:18:38.070 --> 00:18:40.230
HOPE, BUT IT ONLY TAKES ONE
00:18:40.230 --> 00:18:42.140
PERSON.
00:18:42.140 --> 00:18:43.280
THE AMAZING THING ABOUT HOW GOD
00:18:43.280 --> 00:18:45.050
HAS CREATED RELATIONSHIPS IS
00:18:45.050 --> 00:18:46.120
WHEN ONE PERSON MAKES ONE BRAVE
00:18:49.100 --> 00:18:50.020
CHOICE, IT IS SYNERGISTIC FOR
00:18:50.230 --> 00:18:53.230
THE WHOLE COUPLE AND CONTAGIOUS
00:18:53.230 --> 00:18:54.230
BECAUSE GOD HAS GIVEN US THIS
00:18:54.230 --> 00:18:55.260
AMAZING THING.
00:18:56.210 --> 00:18:59.210
WE HAVE WHAT'S CALLED "MIRROR
00:18:59.210 --> 00:19:00.140
NEURONS" IN OUR BRAINS, AND WHEN
00:19:00.140 --> 00:19:01.220
OUR SPOUSE STARTS TO TAKE
00:19:02.030 --> 00:19:05.030
OWNERSHIP, WHEN THEY START TO
00:19:05.030 --> 00:19:06.070
INVEST, WHEN THEY START TO CARE,
00:19:06.070 --> 00:19:07.270
WHEN THEY START TO SHOW US
00:19:07.270 --> 00:19:09.170
EMPATHY OR GIVE US ENERGY AND
00:19:09.170 --> 00:19:11.190
ATTENTION, WE CAN'T EVEN RESIST
00:19:11.190 --> 00:19:14.020
IT.
00:19:14.020 --> 00:19:15.260
WE'RE DRAWN TO MATCH THEIR LEVEL
00:19:15.260 --> 00:19:17.210
OF INVESTMENT IN US.
00:19:17.210 --> 00:19:19.260
IT'S JUST THIS BEAUTIFUL GIFT
00:19:19.260 --> 00:19:21.250
GOD'S GIVEN US.
00:19:21.250 --> 00:19:23.010
IT'S GRACE, AND SO ONE PERSON
00:19:23.010 --> 00:19:25.040
MAKES A CHOICE, SAYING, "I'M
00:19:25.040 --> 00:19:27.180
GONNA GO FOR THIS," AND IT MAY
00:19:27.180 --> 00:19:28.280
NOT HAPPEN INSTANTLY, BUT THE
00:19:28.280 --> 00:19:30.230
OTHER SPOUSE WILL BE WOOED BY
00:19:30.230 --> 00:19:33.230
THAT INTO THIS GROWTH PLACE.
00:19:33.230 --> 00:19:35.020
IT'S AMAZING.
00:19:35.020 --> 00:19:36.240
- LES: THAT'S WHY, WHENEVER WE
00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:37.160
HAVE A CHANCE TO TALK TO FOLKS
00:19:37.160 --> 00:19:39.070
ABOUT CONFLICT, WHEN WE
00:19:39.070 --> 00:19:40.040
SOMETIMES DO THIS THING CALLED
00:19:40.040 --> 00:19:41.070
"FIGHT NIGHT," WE'LL SAY, "HEY,
00:19:41.070 --> 00:19:42.140
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PRIDE
00:19:42.140 --> 00:19:43.190
FIGHT?"
00:19:43.190 --> 00:19:44.230
WELL, YEAH, THEY'RE ALL PRIDE
00:19:44.230 --> 00:19:45.140
FIGHTS, RIGHT?
00:19:45.140 --> 00:19:46.290
AND THAT'S WHAT'S KEEPING YOU
00:19:46.290 --> 00:19:48.110
FROM ENTERING INTO A WORLD OF
00:19:48.110 --> 00:19:49.280
HUMILITY SO THAT YOU CAN CARE
00:19:49.280 --> 00:19:51.140
FOR THE OTHER PERSON, SETTING
00:19:51.140 --> 00:19:53.260
THAT PRIDE ASIDE IN ORDER TO
00:19:53.260 --> 00:19:56.100
SAY, "I SEE YOU, AND ACTUALLY I
00:19:56.100 --> 00:19:57.270
DO CARE ABOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP
00:19:57.270 --> 00:19:59.150
AND THIS LOVE THAT WE HAD AT ONE
00:19:59.150 --> 00:20:01.280
DAY, EVEN IF IT'S JUST FALTERING
00:20:01.280 --> 00:20:04.010
AT THE MOMENT."
00:20:04.010 --> 00:20:04.270
- LAURIE: WOW.
00:20:04.270 --> 00:20:05.140
- MATT: SO-- I LOVE THAT, BY
00:20:05.140 --> 00:20:07.170
THE WAY.
00:20:07.170 --> 00:20:08.050
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
00:20:08.050 --> 00:20:08.210
SO ONE PERSON CAN START THIS?
00:20:08.210 --> 00:20:10.020
- LES: YEAH, THINK OF IT LIKE A
00:20:10.020 --> 00:20:11.070
MOBILE THAT HANGS FROM THE
00:20:11.070 --> 00:20:12.140
CEILING.
00:20:12.140 --> 00:20:13.180
YOU MOVE ONE LITTLE PIECE OF THE
00:20:13.180 --> 00:20:15.210
MOBILE, AND THE WHOLE THING KIND
00:20:15.210 --> 00:20:16.220
OF SWINGS WILDLY OUT OF CONTROL
00:20:16.220 --> 00:20:18.060
FOR A FEW MINUTES UNTIL IT FINDS
00:20:18.060 --> 00:20:19.100
A NEW, KIND OF, RESTING PLACE,
00:20:19.100 --> 00:20:21.120
AND THE SAME THING HAPPENS IN A
00:20:24.020 --> 00:20:25.080
RELATIONSHIP WHERE ONE PERSON
00:20:25.080 --> 00:20:26.200
CHANGES SOMETHING, SOME KIND
00:20:26.200 --> 00:20:27.260
OF-- SOMETHING IN THE DANCE OF
00:20:27.260 --> 00:20:29.020
THE MARRIAGE OR THE
00:20:29.020 --> 00:20:31.040
RELATIONSHIP.
00:20:31.040 --> 00:20:31.200
THEY CHANGE THEIR DANCE STEP,
00:20:31.200 --> 00:20:32.110
AND THE OTHER PERSON GOES, "OH,
00:20:32.110 --> 00:20:33.060
THAT'S NEW.
00:20:33.060 --> 00:20:34.090
I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN'.
00:20:34.090 --> 00:20:35.210
OKAY, I GUESS I SHOULD KIND OF
00:20:35.210 --> 00:20:36.150
SHIFT OVER HERE NOW."
00:20:36.180 --> 00:20:39.180
WE'RE CONSTANTLY DOING THAT IN
00:20:40.250 --> 00:20:41.170
THE DANCE OF MARRIAGE, AND
00:20:41.170 --> 00:20:42.080
THAT'S WHY ONE PERSON CAN MAKE A
00:20:42.080 --> 00:20:43.210
WORLD OF DIFFERENCE IN HELPING A
00:20:43.210 --> 00:20:45.090
RELATIONSHIP GROW.
00:20:45.090 --> 00:20:47.060
- MATT: WOW, WE'RE TALKING
00:20:47.060 --> 00:20:47.290
ABOUT THE BETTER LOVE
00:20:47.290 --> 00:20:48.270
ASSESSMENT.
00:20:48.270 --> 00:20:50.200
[APPLAUSE]
00:20:50.200 --> 00:20:51.170
WE GOT A LITTLE PROMO.
00:20:51.170 --> 00:20:52.050
WATCH THIS.
00:20:52.050 --> 00:20:54.150
- ANNOUNCER: DO YOU WANT THE
00:20:54.150 --> 00:20:55.090
VERY BEST FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
00:20:55.090 --> 00:20:56.180
DO YOU WANNA GO BENEATH THE
00:20:56.180 --> 00:20:57.160
THEN JOIN
00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:01.120
DRS. LES AND LESLIE PARROTT,
00:21:01.120 --> 00:21:02.190
RENOWNED PSYCHOLOGIST,
00:21:02.190 --> 00:21:04.030
MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST,
00:21:04.030 --> 00:21:05.130
AND NUMBER ONE "NEW YORK TIMES"
00:21:05.130 --> 00:21:06.050
BEST-SELLING AUTHORS
00:21:06.050 --> 00:21:07.210
[MUSIC]
00:21:11.260 --> 00:21:12.220
IT ALL BEGINS WHEN YOU ANSWER
00:21:12.220 --> 00:21:13.210
JUST A FEW QUESTIONS WITH THE
00:21:13.210 --> 00:21:14.160
BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT.
00:21:14.160 --> 00:21:16.180
IT'S EASIER THAN YOU THINK, AND
00:21:16.180 --> 00:21:17.150
DID WE MENTION IT'S FUN?
00:21:17.150 --> 00:21:18.290
WE'LL GIVE YOU A PERSONALIZED
00:21:19.000 --> 00:21:22.000
ACTION PLAN CUSTOMIZED FOR THE
00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:23.180
TWO OF YOU.
00:21:23.180 --> 00:21:24.060
YOU'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED
00:21:24.060 --> 00:21:25.140
ANYTHING QUITE LIKE THIS BEFORE.
00:21:25.140 --> 00:21:26.290
ENJOY BETTER CONVERSATIONS,
00:21:26.290 --> 00:21:28.210
BETTER INTIMACY, AND BETTER
00:21:28.210 --> 00:21:30.210
PASSION, STARTING TODAY.
00:21:30.210 --> 00:21:32.200
IT ALL BEGINS WHEN YOU TAKE THE
00:21:32.200 --> 00:21:34.010
BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT.
00:21:34.010 --> 00:21:35.010
[MUSIC]
00:21:35.010 --> 00:21:36.110
WITH YOU BY MY SIDE,
00:21:36.110 --> 00:21:38.040
THERE'S NO PLACE THAT WE
00:21:38.040 --> 00:21:39.130
CAN'T GO
00:21:39.130 --> 00:21:41.200
THIS IS THE START OF SOMETHIG
00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:44.050
- MATT: BETTER LOVE.
00:21:55.010 --> 00:21:57.060
THE ASSESSMENT WE'RE GONNA--
00:21:57.060 --> 00:21:58.130
LAURIE AND I DID IT.
00:21:58.130 --> 00:22:00.070
WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT HERE
00:22:00.070 --> 00:22:01.210
IN A SECOND.
00:22:01.210 --> 00:22:02.230
- LES: I HAVE YOUR RESULTS
00:22:02.230 --> 00:22:03.130
RIGHT HERE.
00:22:03.130 --> 00:22:03.250
[LAUGHTER]
00:22:03.250 --> 00:22:06.120
- MATT: CAREFUL.
00:22:06.120 --> 00:22:06.270
- LESLIE: YES, GOING TO THE
00:22:06.270 --> 00:22:07.170
HIGHEST BIDDER.
00:22:07.170 --> 00:22:09.110
- LES: I COULD MAKE A LOT OF
00:22:09.110 --> 00:22:10.020
MONEY IF WE HAD--
00:22:10.020 --> 00:22:10.170
[LAUGHTER]
00:22:10.170 --> 00:22:11.050
- MATT: CAREFUL WITH THAT.
00:22:11.050 --> 00:22:12.120
HOW LONG AGO WAS EHARMONY A
00:22:12.120 --> 00:22:13.130
BRAND-NEW THOUGHT?
00:22:13.140 --> 00:22:16.140
WHEN DID THAT START?
00:22:16.140 --> 00:22:17.110
'CAUSE IT FEELS LIKE IT'S BEEN
00:22:17.110 --> 00:22:18.230
AROUND FOREVER.
00:22:18.230 --> 00:22:19.250
- LES: IT REALLY DOES.
00:22:19.250 --> 00:22:20.130
TWENTY YEARS AGO, OR MORE, A
00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:23.160
LITTLE BIT MORE THAN THAT, I
00:22:23.160 --> 00:22:25.020
GUESS, NEIL CLARK WARREN IS THE
00:22:25.020 --> 00:22:26.140
FOUNDER OF EHARMONY--
00:22:26.140 --> 00:22:28.280
INCREDIBLE.
00:22:28.280 --> 00:22:29.120
ONE NIGHT,
00:22:31.150 --> 00:22:31.260
WE WERE HAVING DINNER AT THEIR
00:22:31.260 --> 00:22:32.170
HOME WITH HIS WIFE.
00:22:32.170 --> 00:22:33.160
MARYLYN, AND HE SAID, "YOU KNOW
00:22:33.160 --> 00:22:34.140
THIS NEW THING CALLED THE
00:22:34.140 --> 00:22:35.030
INTERNET?
00:22:35.030 --> 00:22:35.220
I WONDER IF WE COULD USE THAT IN
00:22:35.230 --> 00:22:38.230
ANY WAY TO HELP COUPLES MATCH
00:22:38.230 --> 00:22:39.260
FOR LIFELONG LOVE?"
00:22:39.260 --> 00:22:40.190
AND THAT TURNED INTO A LONG
00:22:40.190 --> 00:22:42.000
CONVERSATION, AND THE COMPANY
00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:44.140
WAS EVENTUALLY BORN, BUT IT WAS
00:22:44.140 --> 00:22:46.090
HIS GENIUS THAT MADE THAT HAPPEN
00:22:46.090 --> 00:22:48.280
ON MATCHING PEOPLE ON CERTAIN
00:22:50.270 --> 00:22:53.270
DIMENSIONS.
00:22:53.270 --> 00:22:54.130
- MATT: DO YOU REMEMBER HOW
00:22:54.130 --> 00:22:55.040
MANY PEOPLE ACTUALLY JOINED AT
00:22:55.040 --> 00:22:55.260
ONE POINT, I MEAN, OVER THE
00:22:55.260 --> 00:22:56.160
WHOLE COURSE OF THE--
00:22:56.160 --> 00:22:57.030
- LES: WAIT-- THIS IS A QUIZ,
00:22:57.030 --> 00:22:57.240
OKAY.
00:22:57.240 --> 00:22:58.030
[LAUGHTER]
00:22:58.030 --> 00:22:59.210
I DON'T KNOW, BUT I JUST KNOW
00:22:59.210 --> 00:23:00.140
THAT IT WAS SO STARTLING, THE
00:23:00.140 --> 00:23:01.260
NUMBERS, 'CAUSE IT WAS THE FIRST
00:23:01.260 --> 00:23:04.180
WE HAVE SO MANY OTHER THINGS
00:23:06.270 --> 00:23:08.050
THAT HAVE, KIND OF, TRIED TO
00:23:08.050 --> 00:23:08.250
COMPETE WITH IT THESE DAYS, BUT
00:23:08.250 --> 00:23:11.170
IT WAS SO PHENOMENAL.
00:23:11.170 --> 00:23:12.040
THE GROWTH JUST TOOK OFF LIKE A
00:23:12.040 --> 00:23:13.200
HOCKEY STICK, AND WE HAD AS MANY
00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:14.120
AS OVER 500 WEDDINGS PER DAY ON
00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:17.160
AVERAGE AS A RESULT OF MATCHES,
00:23:17.160 --> 00:23:18.210
AND I THINK IT WAS SOMETHING
00:23:18.210 --> 00:23:19.110
LIKE 5% OF ALL WEDDINGS IN
00:23:19.110 --> 00:23:22.000
NORTH AMERICA WERE THE RESULT OF
00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:22.260
- MATT: OH, MY GOODNESS.
00:23:26.230 --> 00:23:27.120
OKAY, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
00:23:27.120 --> 00:23:28.010
BETTER LOVE, BUT WHAT'S
00:23:28.010 --> 00:23:28.190
INTERESTING ABOUT WHAT THE
00:23:28.190 --> 00:23:30.060
PARROTTS HAVE DONE IS THEY HAVE
00:23:30.060 --> 00:23:32.030
AN ASSESSMENT CALLED YADA, WHICH
00:23:32.130 --> 00:23:35.130
MEANS--
00:23:35.130 --> 00:23:36.210
- LES: "YADA" IS A HEBREW WORD.
00:23:36.210 --> 00:23:38.150
IT'S USED OVER A THOUSAND TIMES
00:23:38.150 --> 00:23:39.270
IN SCRIPTURE, AND IT MEANS "TO
00:23:39.270 --> 00:23:41.060
KNOW," AND IN THAT SENSE, IT
00:23:41.060 --> 00:23:43.260
MEANS TO KNOW WITH YOUR HEAD AS
00:23:43.260 --> 00:23:44.210
WELL AS YOUR HEART, TO KNOW GOD
00:23:44.210 --> 00:23:46.000
AT THAT KIND OF LEVEL, AND SO
00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:47.240
THE YADA ASSESSMENT IS FOR
00:23:47.240 --> 00:23:49.150
SINGLE ADULTS, AND THEY CAN
00:23:49.150 --> 00:23:51.020
FIND-- LIKE, COLLEGE STUDENTS,
00:23:51.020 --> 00:23:52.290
EVEN LATE HIGH SCHOOL YEARS,
00:23:52.290 --> 00:23:54.100
ONWARD, IT'S TO KNOW THEMSELVES
00:23:54.100 --> 00:23:55.220
AND TO KNOW OTHERS AND BE KNOWN
00:23:55.250 --> 00:23:58.250
BY OTHERS.
00:23:58.250 --> 00:24:00.130
AND YOU'VE HEARD THE PHRASE,
00:24:00.130 --> 00:24:01.180
"YADA, YADA, YADA"?
00:24:01.180 --> 00:24:02.080
- MATT: YEAH.
00:24:02.080 --> 00:24:02.210
- LES: RIGHT, THAT'S WHERE THAT
00:24:02.210 --> 00:24:04.110
YIDDISH PHRASE IS COMING FROM:
00:24:04.110 --> 00:24:05.090
"YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW."
00:24:05.090 --> 00:24:06.090
- MATT: OKAY, SO, BASICALLY,
00:24:06.090 --> 00:24:07.230
RELATIONSHIPS START EITHER DOING
00:24:07.230 --> 00:24:09.050
THE BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT OR
00:24:09.160 --> 00:24:12.160
DOING THE YADA ASSESSMENT,
00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:14.200
KNOWING YOURSELF?
00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:15.130
- LES: RIGHT.
00:24:15.130 --> 00:24:17.080
- MATT: AND KNOWING ABOUT THE
00:24:17.080 --> 00:24:17.290
OTHER PERSON GIVES YOU
00:24:17.290 --> 00:24:19.060
INFORMATION.
00:24:19.060 --> 00:24:21.150
OKAY, THE SYMBIS, "SAVE YOUR
00:24:21.150 --> 00:24:23.070
MARRIAGE BEFORE IT STARTS,"
00:24:23.070 --> 00:24:23.270
THAT'S ANOTHER ASSESSMENT, AND
00:24:23.270 --> 00:24:24.180
THAT'S REALLY FOR, KIND OF,
00:24:24.180 --> 00:24:26.060
PROFESSIONALS OR LEADERSHIP
00:24:26.060 --> 00:24:27.040
TYPES?
00:24:27.040 --> 00:24:28.190
- LES: YEAH, I APPRECIATE YOU
00:24:28.190 --> 00:24:29.180
ASKING US ABOUT THIS.
00:24:29.180 --> 00:24:30.120
THE SYMBIS ASSESSMENT, YEARS
00:24:30.120 --> 00:24:32.050
AGO, LESLIE AND I WROTE A BOOK
00:24:32.050 --> 00:24:33.110
CALLED "SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE
00:24:33.110 --> 00:24:34.280
BEFORE IT STARTS," AND WHEN THAT
00:24:34.280 --> 00:24:35.230
REACHED AN IMPORTANT MILESTONE--
00:24:36.240 --> 00:24:39.240
I THINK IT WAS TWO MILLION
00:24:39.240 --> 00:24:41.230
COPIES-- OUR PUBLISHER SAID,
00:24:41.230 --> 00:24:42.190
"HEY, LET'S UPDATE THIS AND
00:24:42.190 --> 00:24:43.090
REVISE IT," WHICH, AS YOU MIGHT
00:24:43.090 --> 00:24:44.010
KNOW, IS SOMETIMES
00:24:44.010 --> 00:24:45.010
PUBLISHER-SPEAK FOR "LET'S PUT A
00:24:45.010 --> 00:24:46.190
NEW COVER ON IT," YOU KNOW?
00:24:46.190 --> 00:24:47.270
[LAUGHTER]
00:24:47.270 --> 00:24:48.110
AND SO WE SAID, "NO, LET'S DO IT
00:24:48.110 --> 00:24:50.020
RIGHT," AND WE DID A MASSIVE
00:24:50.020 --> 00:24:51.200
RESEARCH PROJECT AROUND
00:24:52.050 --> 00:24:55.050
NORTH AMERICA AND BEYOND.
00:24:55.050 --> 00:24:56.010
TO FIND OUT, BASICALLY,
00:24:56.010 --> 00:24:57.070
WHAT ARE CHURCHES IN
00:24:57.070 --> 00:24:58.120
PARTICULAR DOING,
00:24:58.120 --> 00:24:59.160
COUNSELORS DOING, WHEN IT COMES
00:24:59.160 --> 00:25:00.230
TO PREPARING COUPLES FOR
00:25:00.230 --> 00:25:01.290
LIFELONG LOVE, AND THAT'S WHEN
00:25:01.290 --> 00:25:03.070
WE SAW THIS HUGE NEED, RIGHT?
00:25:03.070 --> 00:25:05.080
- LESLIE: YEAH, THE CHURCH WAS
00:25:05.080 --> 00:25:06.130
ASKING TO BE EQUIPPED TO TAKE
00:25:06.130 --> 00:25:07.200
BUT TO MEET THEM AT THE PLACE
00:25:10.100 --> 00:25:11.210
THAT, SORT OF, IT LOOKED THE WAY
00:25:11.210 --> 00:25:12.230
THEY WANTED IT TO AND FELT
00:25:12.230 --> 00:25:14.060
COMFORTABLE FOR THEM, WHERE IT
00:25:14.060 --> 00:25:15.260
WOULD BE WINSOME AND DRAW THEM
00:25:15.260 --> 00:25:17.070
IN.
00:25:17.070 --> 00:25:17.270
- LES: AND SO WHAT WE WANNA DO
00:25:17.270 --> 00:25:19.080
IS BUILD A WORLD-CLASS TOOL FOR
00:25:19.080 --> 00:25:20.170
THE CHURCH AND FOR COUNSELORS
00:25:20.170 --> 00:25:21.270
AND COACHES AND MENTORS, TO GET
00:25:24.090 --> 00:25:25.100
TRAINED AND CERTIFIED.
00:25:25.100 --> 00:25:27.070
TAKES THREE HOURS ONLINE.
00:25:27.070 --> 00:25:29.050
YOU GET TRAINED AND CERTIFIED IN
00:25:29.050 --> 00:25:31.100
HOW TO USE THE TOOL, THE SYMBIS
00:25:31.100 --> 00:25:32.040
ASSESSMENT, AND THEN YOU CAN
00:25:32.040 --> 00:25:33.280
INVITE COUPLES TO THIS REALLY
00:25:33.280 --> 00:25:35.090
FULL-FEATURED DASHBOARD-- IT'S
00:25:35.090 --> 00:25:36.180
AWESOME-- AND MANAGE THE COUPLES
00:25:36.180 --> 00:25:38.160
IN YOUR CARE, INVITE THEM TO
00:25:38.160 --> 00:25:39.260
TAKE THE ASSESSMENT, AND THEN
00:25:39.260 --> 00:25:40.230
UNPACK THE RESULTS WITH THEM.
00:25:40.230 --> 00:25:42.020
- MATT: OKAY, LOVE THIS.
00:25:42.020 --> 00:25:43.180
OKAY, ALL THIS STUFF IS
00:25:43.180 --> 00:25:44.060
FANTASTIC FOR RELATIONSHIPS, BUT
00:25:44.060 --> 00:25:46.140
BEFORE WE START TALKING ABOUT
00:25:46.140 --> 00:25:49.060
US, I WANNA ASK YOU GUYS SOME
00:25:49.060 --> 00:25:50.160
QUESTIONS.
00:25:50.160 --> 00:25:52.050
[LAUGHTER]
00:25:52.050 --> 00:25:52.210
YOU'RE BOTH DOCTORS, RIGHT?
00:25:52.210 --> 00:25:53.110
- LES: YEAH, I THINK YOU'VE
00:25:53.110 --> 00:25:54.010
MENTIONED THAT A FEW TIMES,
00:25:54.010 --> 00:25:54.210
YEAH.
00:25:54.210 --> 00:25:55.170
- MATT: WRITE BOOKS ABOUT LOVE,
00:25:55.170 --> 00:25:56.090
RIGHT?
00:25:56.090 --> 00:25:56.180
- LES: YEAH.
00:25:56.180 --> 00:25:57.010
- MATT: SO YOU GUYS ARE STUCK.
00:25:57.010 --> 00:25:57.230
[LAUGHTER]
00:25:57.230 --> 00:25:58.040
YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN?
00:25:58.040 --> 00:26:00.020
- LESLIE: WE'RE NOT GOIN'
00:26:00.020 --> 00:26:00.240
ANYWHERE.
00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:01.080
- MATT: YEAH, RIGHT, WELL,
00:26:01.080 --> 00:26:01.280
YOU'RE STUCK, OKAY?
00:26:01.280 --> 00:26:02.240
SO WHAT DO YOU DO TO SOLVE
00:26:02.240 --> 00:26:05.000
CONFLICT IN YOUR MARRIAGE?
00:26:07.010 --> 00:26:10.010
BECAUSE YOU'RE BOTH DOCTORS, SO
00:26:10.010 --> 00:26:10.230
YOU'RE THINKIN' AHEAD OF EACH
00:26:10.230 --> 00:26:11.260
OTHER, YOU KNOW?
00:26:11.260 --> 00:26:13.080
[LAUGHTER]
00:26:13.080 --> 00:26:13.210
AND YOU'RE ONE STEP AHEAD.
00:26:13.210 --> 00:26:14.220
- LAURIE: WAR OF THE MINDS.
00:26:14.220 --> 00:26:15.290
- LESLIE: WOULD YOU LOVE TO BE
00:26:15.290 --> 00:26:17.110
MARRIED TO A THERAPIST?
00:26:17.110 --> 00:26:18.050
- MATT: OH, WOW, NO, YEAH.
00:26:18.050 --> 00:26:19.060
[LAUGHTER]
00:26:19.060 --> 00:26:20.200
WHAT DOES HE DO THAT BUGS YOU?
00:26:21.210 --> 00:26:24.210
[LAUGHTER]
00:26:24.210 --> 00:26:25.080
- LES: OH, I LOVE THIS
00:26:25.080 --> 00:26:26.130
QUESTION.
00:26:26.130 --> 00:26:27.040
- LESLIE: OH, YEAH, I LOVE IT.
00:26:27.040 --> 00:26:27.260
- LES: LET'S HEAR THIS, YEAH.
00:26:27.260 --> 00:26:29.010
- LESLIE: WELL, YOU KNOW,
00:26:29.010 --> 00:26:29.220
HERE'S WHERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE
00:26:29.220 --> 00:26:30.210
HEADED BECAUSE IT IS KIND OF
00:26:30.210 --> 00:26:32.060
FUNNY WHEN YOU'RE BOTH
00:26:32.060 --> 00:26:32.250
THERAPISTS BECAUSE, WHEN WE HAVE
00:26:32.250 --> 00:26:34.100
A TOTAL MELTDOWN THAT COMES JUST
00:26:34.100 --> 00:26:36.130
OUT OF THE BLUE, LIKE, YOU
00:26:36.130 --> 00:26:37.160
KNOW--
00:26:37.160 --> 00:26:38.240
- MATT: LIKE, WHEN WAS THE LAST
00:26:38.240 --> 00:26:39.160
ONE?
00:26:39.160 --> 00:26:39.240
- LESLIE: IT HAPPENS.
00:26:39.240 --> 00:26:42.120
- LES: OH, LET'S SEE HERE.
00:26:42.120 --> 00:26:43.020
IT WOULD'VE BEEN--
00:26:43.020 --> 00:26:43.170
[LAUGHTER]
00:26:43.170 --> 00:26:43.280
- LESLIE: THERE WAS THE
00:26:43.280 --> 00:26:44.160
HUMIDIFIER INCIDENT AFTER A LONG
00:26:44.160 --> 00:26:45.220
TRIP.
00:26:45.220 --> 00:26:47.090
- LES: YOU'RE GONNA BRING THAT
00:26:47.090 --> 00:26:48.010
UP?
00:26:48.010 --> 00:26:48.090
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
00:26:48.090 --> 00:26:48.230
[LAUGHTER]
00:26:48.230 --> 00:26:50.180
- LESLIE: I MEAN, WHO WOULD
00:26:50.180 --> 00:26:51.080
THINK A HUMIDIFIER COULD TURN
00:26:51.080 --> 00:26:51.290
INTO A MARRIAGE MELTDOWN?
00:26:51.290 --> 00:26:52.210
BUT IT DID.
00:26:52.210 --> 00:26:54.060
BUT HERE'S THE FUNNY THING.
00:26:54.060 --> 00:26:56.010
- LES: ARE YOU GONNA TELL THE
00:26:56.010 --> 00:26:56.220
STORY?
00:26:56.220 --> 00:26:57.050
- MATT: YEAH, YES, SHE IS.
00:26:57.050 --> 00:26:57.270
[LAUGHTER]
00:26:57.270 --> 00:26:58.100
GO AHEAD.
00:26:58.100 --> 00:26:59.270
- LESLIE: HERE'S THE THING.
00:26:59.270 --> 00:27:00.190
- MATT: YES.
00:27:00.190 --> 00:27:01.020
[LAUGHTER]
00:27:01.020 --> 00:27:02.030
[APPLAUSE]
00:27:02.030 --> 00:27:03.150
- MATT: PROCEED, MA'AM.
00:27:03.150 --> 00:27:04.150
- LESLIE: IT'S NOT EVEN A
00:27:04.150 --> 00:27:05.050
STORY, BUT HE WAS GONE, AND HE'S
00:27:05.050 --> 00:27:07.200
THE ONE THAT SETS UP THE
00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:08.260
HUMIDIFIER AT NIGHT--
00:27:08.260 --> 00:27:10.170
- LES: RIGHT.
00:27:10.170 --> 00:27:13.100
- LESLIE: -- AND SO I REALLY
00:27:13.100 --> 00:27:14.010
MISSED IT.
00:27:14.010 --> 00:27:14.120
- LES: IN THE BEDROOM,
00:27:14.120 --> 00:27:15.000
IN SEATTLE.
00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:15.120
YES, JUST IN THE WINTER
00:27:15.120 --> 00:27:17.120
MONTHS--
00:27:17.120 --> 00:27:19.090
- LESLIE: YOU NEED IT-- YES.
00:27:19.090 --> 00:27:20.020
- LAURIE: OH, OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
00:27:20.020 --> 00:27:21.080
- LES: -- WHEN THE HEAT'S ON
00:27:21.080 --> 00:27:22.210
AND-- YEAH.
00:27:22.210 --> 00:27:24.100
- LESLIE: AND I HAD MISSED IT,
00:27:24.100 --> 00:27:25.020
AND SO HE CAME HOME TIRED AND
00:27:25.020 --> 00:27:25.250
LATE AND PERCEIVED MY REQUESTING
00:27:25.250 --> 00:27:27.000
THAT HE SET IT UP-- 'CAUSE I'D
00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:28.110
MISSED IT SO MUCH-- AS SORT OF A
00:27:28.110 --> 00:27:29.160
NAG, LIKE, THAT YOU WEREN'T
00:27:29.160 --> 00:27:31.140
TAKING CARE OF ME.
00:27:31.140 --> 00:27:33.120
- LES: IT DIDN'T COME OFF IN A
00:27:33.120 --> 00:27:34.050
GOOD SPIRIT.
00:27:34.050 --> 00:27:34.210
- LESLIE: DIDN'T COME OFF IN
00:27:34.210 --> 00:27:35.260
A-- IT WAS MY TONE.
00:27:35.260 --> 00:27:37.100
- LES: IT WAS MEAN.
00:27:37.100 --> 00:27:38.210
[LAUGHTER]
00:27:38.210 --> 00:27:39.090
- LESLIE: I THOUGHT I WAS
00:27:39.090 --> 00:27:40.080
TELLING HIM--
00:27:40.080 --> 00:27:40.220
- MATT: OKAY, NOW WE'RE GETTIN'
00:27:40.220 --> 00:27:41.150
SOMEWHERE, OKAY.
00:27:41.150 --> 00:27:41.290
- LESLIE: I THOUGHT I WAS
00:27:41.290 --> 00:27:42.270
TELLING HIM HOW MUCH I'D LOVED
00:27:42.270 --> 00:27:45.090
THIS LITTLE ACT OF SERVICE HE
00:27:45.090 --> 00:27:46.120
DOES FOR ME EVERY DAY AND, JUST,
00:27:46.120 --> 00:27:48.000
I MISSED IT, BUT HE THOUGHT I
00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:49.110
WAS SAYING--
00:27:49.110 --> 00:27:50.220
- LES: YEAH, THAT I HAD LET YOU
00:27:50.220 --> 00:27:52.150
DOWN IN SOME--
00:27:52.150 --> 00:27:53.000
- LESLIE: "YOU ABANDONED ME IN
00:27:53.000 --> 00:27:53.220
NOT DOING YOUR JOB."
00:27:53.220 --> 00:27:54.080
- LES: RIGHT.
00:27:54.080 --> 00:27:54.230
- LESLIE: SO WE HAD A FIGHT
00:27:54.230 --> 00:27:55.130
BUT--
00:27:55.130 --> 00:27:56.070
- LES: YOU KNOW, THE--
00:27:56.070 --> 00:27:57.090
- MATT: I LIKE THAT PART.
00:27:57.090 --> 00:27:58.030
[LAUGHTER]
00:27:58.030 --> 00:27:58.160
KEEP GOIN'.
00:27:58.160 --> 00:27:59.020
- LES: I'LL TELL YOU ANOTHER
00:27:59.020 --> 00:28:00.180
ONE THAT HAPPENED RECENTLY
00:28:00.180 --> 00:28:01.130
BECAUSE--
00:28:01.130 --> 00:28:02.060
- MATT: YEAH, PLEASE.
00:28:02.060 --> 00:28:02.270
- LES: -- THIS IS-- SOMETIMES
00:28:02.270 --> 00:28:03.290
CONFLICT CREEPS UP WITH A-- EVEN
00:28:03.290 --> 00:28:05.250
WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO HAVE A
00:28:05.250 --> 00:28:07.120
NICE MOMENT TOGETHER, AND I WAS
00:28:07.120 --> 00:28:09.180
JUST THINKIN' ABOUT THIS 'CAUSE
00:28:09.180 --> 00:28:10.250
YOU SAID THAT I CAME HOME-- WE
00:28:10.250 --> 00:28:12.010
BOTH CAME HOME FROM A TRIP NOT
00:28:12.010 --> 00:28:13.140
TOO LONG AGO--
00:28:13.140 --> 00:28:15.100
- LESLIE: YEAH, THOSE ARE PRIME
00:28:15.100 --> 00:28:16.020
MOMENTS WHEN YOU'RE ROAD WARY.
00:28:16.020 --> 00:28:17.070
- LES: YEAH, AND LESLIE, OUT OF
00:28:17.070 --> 00:28:18.180
THE BLUE-- WE WERE BOTH
00:28:18.180 --> 00:28:19.180
EXHAUSTED AND, YOU KNOW, YOU GOT
00:28:19.180 --> 00:28:21.030
ALL THE DIRTY CLOTHES IN THE
00:28:21.030 --> 00:28:22.110
SUITCASES AND STUFF, AND
00:28:22.110 --> 00:28:23.190
SOMEHOW--
00:28:23.190 --> 00:28:24.230
- LESLIE: TIRED AND HUNGRY.
00:28:24.230 --> 00:28:26.080
AND I JUST PERCEIVED HE REALLY
00:28:26.080 --> 00:28:27.220
NEEDED SOME TLC, AND I GOT
00:28:27.220 --> 00:28:29.220
EXCITED ABOUT JUST-- ALL I DID
00:28:29.220 --> 00:28:30.280
WAS MAKE HIM A SIMPLE,
00:28:30.280 --> 00:28:32.100
NOURISHING, HEALTHY-- 'CAUSE
00:28:32.100 --> 00:28:34.090
WHEN YOU'RE ON THE ROAD, THAT
00:28:34.090 --> 00:28:35.000
CAN BE HARD-- BREAKFAST.
00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:36.050
- LES: A BOWL OF OATMEAL AND
00:28:36.050 --> 00:28:36.290
FRUIT, AND IT'S JUST DISPLAYED
00:28:36.290 --> 00:28:37.260
ALL NICELY.
00:28:37.260 --> 00:28:38.160
IT'S LIKE, "WHOA, WHERE DID YOU
00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:39.200
GET THE ENERGY TO DO THIS?"
00:28:39.200 --> 00:28:41.010
AND SO I WAS GUSHING WITH
00:28:41.010 --> 00:28:43.040
APPRECIATION TOWARD HER, AND HER
00:28:43.040 --> 00:28:45.060
LOVE LANGUAGE IS WORDS OF
00:28:45.060 --> 00:28:46.100
AFFIRMATION--
00:28:46.100 --> 00:28:46.250
- LESLIE: YES, IT IS.
00:28:46.250 --> 00:28:47.260
- LES: -- AND SO THAT'S HOW I
00:28:47.260 --> 00:28:48.220
MANIPULATE HER.
00:28:48.220 --> 00:28:49.230
[LAUGHTER]
00:28:49.230 --> 00:28:50.110
- LESLIE: SO TRUE.
00:28:50.110 --> 00:28:50.270
[LAUGHTER]
00:28:52.090 --> 00:28:55.090
[APPLAUSE]
00:28:55.090 --> 00:28:56.230
- MATT: WE'LL TALK LATER.
00:28:56.230 --> 00:28:57.120
- LESLIE: SO TRUE.
00:28:57.120 --> 00:28:59.050
- LES: THANKS TO GARY CHAPMAN.
00:28:59.050 --> 00:29:01.110
- MATT: YEAH, LOVE GARY.
00:29:01.110 --> 00:29:02.050
THANK YOU.
00:29:02.050 --> 00:29:02.270
- LES: BUT I WASN'T.
00:29:02.270 --> 00:29:03.140
IT WAS GENUINE.
00:29:03.140 --> 00:29:03.280
I WAS, JUST, LIKE--
00:29:03.280 --> 00:29:04.140
- LESLIE: YEAH.
00:29:04.140 --> 00:29:04.290
- LES: AND SO THAT ENERGIZED
00:29:04.290 --> 00:29:05.270
HER, AND SHE SAID, "WELL, I'M
00:29:05.270 --> 00:29:06.180
GONNA GO GET YOUR LAUNDRY DONE."
00:29:06.180 --> 00:29:07.140
LIKE, SHE'S THINKIN', "MAN, IF
00:29:07.140 --> 00:29:08.170
THIS IS SO--"
00:29:08.170 --> 00:29:09.090
- LESLIE: YEAH, SO I MADE THIS
00:29:09.090 --> 00:29:10.290
ANNOUNCEMENT BECAUSE I WAS SO
00:29:10.290 --> 00:29:12.250
ENERGIZED BY HIS EARLIER
00:29:12.250 --> 00:29:15.060
AFFIRMATION ON THE BREAKFAST,
00:29:15.060 --> 00:29:16.120
AND I WAITED FOR HIS REACTION.
00:29:16.120 --> 00:29:17.270
AS I'M HEADED TO THE LAUNDRY
00:29:17.270 --> 00:29:19.030
ROOM, JUST HOPING FOR MORE
00:29:19.030 --> 00:29:20.180
AFFIRMATION, THIS IS WHAT HE
00:29:20.180 --> 00:29:22.210
GAVE ME--
00:29:22.210 --> 00:29:23.090
[SLOW CLAPPING]
00:29:23.090 --> 00:29:24.110
- LES: THAT'S NOT WHAT I DID--
00:29:24.110 --> 00:29:25.030
- LESLIE: -- AS I'M WALKING--
00:29:25.030 --> 00:29:25.240
- LES: -- BUT THAT'S WHAT SHE
00:29:25.240 --> 00:29:26.150
THINKS I DID.
00:29:26.150 --> 00:29:26.280
[LAUGHTER]
00:29:26.280 --> 00:29:27.280
BUT SHE'S ROUNDING THE CORNER.
00:29:27.280 --> 00:29:28.250
SHE'S HEADED BACK TO THE LAUNDRY
00:29:28.250 --> 00:29:29.270
ROOM, AND I'M-- YOU KNOW, I GOT
00:29:29.270 --> 00:29:32.110
MY MOUTH FULL OF OATMEAL AND
00:29:32.110 --> 00:29:33.240
STUFF, AND SO I-- ANYWAY, SHE
00:29:33.240 --> 00:29:35.150
CAME BACK AND YOU ACTUALLY
00:29:35.150 --> 00:29:37.180
TEARED UP BACK IN THE LAUNDRY
00:29:37.180 --> 00:29:38.130
ROOM, RIGHT?
00:29:38.130 --> 00:29:38.290
- LESLIE: YEAH, BECAUSE I GOT
00:29:38.290 --> 00:29:39.260
BACK THERE AND THOUGHT, "HE
00:29:39.260 --> 00:29:40.230
DOESN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT.
00:29:40.230 --> 00:29:41.240
WHY AM I BACK HERE DOING THIS?
00:29:41.240 --> 00:29:43.010
I'M EXHAUSTED.
00:29:43.010 --> 00:29:43.250
HE SHOULD BE BACK HERE DOIN'
00:29:43.250 --> 00:29:45.160
SOMETHIN' FOR ME."
00:29:45.160 --> 00:29:46.010
- LES: AND SO SHE CAME OUT, AND
00:29:46.010 --> 00:29:47.070
I COULD TELL SHE'S BEEN CRYING,
00:29:47.070 --> 00:29:48.030
AND I SAID-- LIKE, YOU CAN
00:29:48.030 --> 00:29:49.250
ALWAYS TELL WHEN YOUR WIFE'S
00:29:49.250 --> 00:29:50.150
BEEN CRYING, RIGHT?
00:29:50.150 --> 00:29:53.110
AND I SAID--
00:29:53.110 --> 00:29:53.230
[LAUGHTER]
00:29:53.230 --> 00:29:54.040
- LAURIE: NO.
00:29:54.040 --> 00:29:54.270
[LAUGHTER]
00:29:54.270 --> 00:29:55.090
- LES: SO I SAID, "WHAT'S
00:29:55.090 --> 00:29:56.030
WRONG?"
00:29:56.030 --> 00:29:56.220
[LAUGHTER]
00:29:56.220 --> 00:29:57.050
NO, NOT ALL-- NOT HIM-- NO
00:29:57.050 --> 00:29:57.240
EMPATHY ON HIS PART?
00:29:57.240 --> 00:29:58.290
I FORGOT, YEAH.
00:29:58.290 --> 00:29:59.200
[LAUGHTER]
00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:01.100
- MATT: WE'RE NOT TALKIN' ABOUT
00:30:01.100 --> 00:30:02.020
US RIGHT NOW.
00:30:02.020 --> 00:30:02.150
WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT YOU.
00:30:02.150 --> 00:30:04.230
YOU'RE THE GUEST.
00:30:04.230 --> 00:30:05.100
I'M THE HOST.
00:30:05.100 --> 00:30:05.290
OKAY.
00:30:05.290 --> 00:30:07.000
- LES: MAN, I ALMOST HAD THAT
00:30:07.000 --> 00:30:09.070
ONE.
00:30:09.070 --> 00:30:11.080
- MATT: YEAH.
00:30:11.080 --> 00:30:12.050
[LAUGHTER]
00:30:12.050 --> 00:30:13.000
- LES: BUT I SAID, "WHAT'S
00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:13.200
WRONG?
00:30:13.200 --> 00:30:14.230
AND SHE SAID, "NOTHING."
00:30:14.230 --> 00:30:15.110
AND I SAID,
00:30:15.110 --> 00:30:17.010
"WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE
00:30:17.010 --> 00:30:17.170
YOU'VE BEEN CRYING."
00:30:17.170 --> 00:30:18.030
SHE SAID,
00:30:18.030 --> 00:30:19.150
"WELL, I HAVE A LITTLE BIT."
00:30:19.150 --> 00:30:20.050
I SAID,
00:30:20.050 --> 00:30:20.150
"WHAT HAPPENED BACK THERE?"
00:30:20.150 --> 00:30:21.050
YOU KNOW, BACK IN THE LAUNDRY
00:30:21.050 --> 00:30:21.260
ROOM.
00:30:21.260 --> 00:30:22.050
[LAUGHTER]
00:30:22.050 --> 00:30:22.160
AND SHE SAID, "IT'S NOT WHAT
00:30:22.160 --> 00:30:25.060
HAPPENED BACK THERE.
00:30:25.060 --> 00:30:26.000
IT'S WHAT HAPPENED OUT HERE."
00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:27.030
AND I SAID, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"
00:30:27.030 --> 00:30:28.070
SHE SAID, "WELL, I TOLD YOU I
00:30:28.070 --> 00:30:29.140
WAS GONNA DO YOUR LAUNDRY, AND
00:30:29.140 --> 00:30:30.120
YOU GAVE ME THAT SARCASTIC
00:30:30.120 --> 00:30:31.060
CLAP."
00:30:31.060 --> 00:30:33.000
I SAID, "I DIDN'T CLAP.
00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:34.080
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO CLAP IN
00:30:34.080 --> 00:30:35.200
A SARCASTIC WAY," YOU KNOW?
00:30:35.200 --> 00:30:37.050
[LAUGHTER]
00:30:37.050 --> 00:30:37.200
- MATT: I DON'T EITHER, BY THE
00:30:37.200 --> 00:30:40.090
WAY.
00:30:40.090 --> 00:30:40.230
[LAUGHTER]
00:30:40.230 --> 00:30:41.180
- LES: I SAID, "MY MOUTH WAS
00:30:41.180 --> 00:30:42.170
FULL OF OATMEAL.
00:30:42.170 --> 00:30:44.040
YOU WERE MOVIN' SO QUICKLY.
00:30:44.040 --> 00:30:45.120
I WAS TRYIN' TO PUT MY SPOON
00:30:45.120 --> 00:30:46.250
DOWN AND, LIKE, SAY, "THANK
00:30:46.250 --> 00:30:47.250
YOU," AND ALL I COULD DO WAS
00:30:47.250 --> 00:30:48.230
APPLAUD YOU AS YOU WERE LEAVING
00:30:48.230 --> 00:30:49.290
THE ROOM"--
00:30:49.290 --> 00:30:51.240
[LAUGHTER]
00:30:51.240 --> 00:30:53.080
-- AND SHE SAID, "WELL, IT CAME
00:30:53.080 --> 00:30:54.100
OFF REALLY SARCASTIC."
00:30:54.110 --> 00:30:57.110
[LAUGHTER]
00:30:57.110 --> 00:30:58.090
- MATT: OH, MY GOD.
00:30:58.090 --> 00:31:00.160
[LAUGHTER]
00:31:00.160 --> 00:31:01.030
- LAURIE: I LOVE YOU.
00:31:01.030 --> 00:31:02.120
- LESLIE: THANK YOU.
00:31:02.120 --> 00:31:03.080
SEE, THAT'S WHAT I NEEDED.
00:31:03.080 --> 00:31:05.110
[APPLAUSE]
00:31:05.110 --> 00:31:05.290
- LAURIE: I GET IT.
00:31:05.290 --> 00:31:07.010
I'M HERE FOR YA, BABY.
00:31:07.010 --> 00:31:08.040
- LES: SO THEN WE PROCEED TO
00:31:08.040 --> 00:31:09.120
HAVE ONE OF THOSE LOVELY
00:31:09.120 --> 00:31:10.280
CONVERSATIONS FOR 20 MINUTES
00:31:10.280 --> 00:31:12.120
ABOUT HOW, APPARENTLY, I DON'T
00:31:12.120 --> 00:31:13.160
CLAP THE RIGHT WAY, YOU KNOW?
00:31:13.160 --> 00:31:14.230
[LAUGHTER]
00:31:14.230 --> 00:31:15.060
- LESLIE: WE DO ACTUALLY
00:31:15.270 --> 00:31:18.270
SOMETIMES SAY TO EACH OTHER,
00:31:18.270 --> 00:31:20.040
"OKAY, LET'S TAKE A BREAK," AND
00:31:20.040 --> 00:31:21.110
THEN WE HAVE WHAT WE'VE STARTED
00:31:21.110 --> 00:31:23.020
TO TERM "A CONVERSATIONAL
00:31:23.020 --> 00:31:25.250
AUTOPSY," 'CAUSE IT'S LIKE,
00:31:25.250 --> 00:31:27.000
"WHAT?"
00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:28.100
- LES: LIKE, "WHAT JUST
00:31:28.100 --> 00:31:28.280
HAPPENED?
00:31:28.280 --> 00:31:29.090
HOW DID THIS DIE?"
00:31:29.090 --> 00:31:30.170
- LESLIE: YEAH, "SOMETHING
00:31:30.170 --> 00:31:31.200
DIED, AND LET'S FIGURE IT OUT"
00:31:31.200 --> 00:31:33.000
BECAUSE--
00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:33.120
- LES: AND IN THAT SITUATION,
00:31:33.120 --> 00:31:34.030
HERE WE WERE, BOTH TRYING TO
00:31:34.030 --> 00:31:34.290
BLESS EACH OTHER, RIGHT?
00:31:34.290 --> 00:31:35.170
I WANTED HER TO KNOW HOW MUCH I
00:31:35.170 --> 00:31:36.090
APPRECIATE.
00:31:36.090 --> 00:31:36.210
YOU WERE OBVIOUSLY BLESSING ME,
00:31:36.210 --> 00:31:37.130
AND, YET WE HAVE A CONFLICT IN
00:31:37.130 --> 00:31:38.110
THE MIDST OF THAT, RIGHT?
00:31:38.110 --> 00:31:39.240
- LESLIE: YEAH, RIGHT.
00:31:39.240 --> 00:31:40.150
- MATT: SO IT HAPPENS TO YOU
00:31:40.150 --> 00:31:41.120
TOO?
00:31:41.120 --> 00:31:42.050
- LES: YES, IT DOES HAPPEN.
00:31:42.050 --> 00:31:43.060
- LESLIE: YES.
00:31:43.060 --> 00:31:43.210
- MATT: IT HAPPENS TO--
00:31:43.210 --> 00:31:46.000
- LES: BUT ONLY ONCE OR TWICE A
00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:46.220
DAY SO--
00:31:46.220 --> 00:31:47.020
[LAUGHTER]
00:31:47.020 --> 00:31:48.170
OH, WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE?
00:31:48.170 --> 00:31:49.060
[LAUGHTER]
00:31:49.150 --> 00:31:52.150
NOW, THIS IS WHAT WE CALL A
00:31:52.150 --> 00:31:54.160
"THERAPEUTIC MOMENT."
00:31:54.160 --> 00:31:56.110
WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE?
00:31:56.110 --> 00:31:57.040
[LAUGHTER]
00:31:57.040 --> 00:31:57.210
- LAURIE: RIGHT.
00:31:57.210 --> 00:31:58.060
[LAUGHTER]
00:31:58.060 --> 00:31:59.060
[APPLAUSE]
00:31:59.060 --> 00:32:01.060
- MATT: BY THE WAY, THAT WAS
00:32:01.060 --> 00:32:01.270
KIND OF SCARY, THAT LOOK SHE
00:32:01.270 --> 00:32:03.100
JUST GAVE ME, HOLY SMOKES.
00:32:03.100 --> 00:32:04.250
- LAURIE: WHAT'D YOU CALL IT?
00:32:04.250 --> 00:32:05.160
"THERAPEUTIC--" WHAT?
00:32:05.160 --> 00:32:06.260
- LES: "MOMENT."
00:32:06.260 --> 00:32:07.290
- MATT: YEAH.
00:32:07.290 --> 00:32:08.140
- LES: YEAH, THERE WAS, LIKE, A
00:32:08.140 --> 00:32:09.150
LOT OF COMMUNICATION WITHOUT
00:32:09.150 --> 00:32:10.050
ANY--
00:32:10.050 --> 00:32:10.210
- LAURIE: NO, YOU SAID, "AN
00:32:10.210 --> 00:32:11.110
AUTOPSY."
00:32:11.110 --> 00:32:12.030
- LESLIE: OH, A "CONVERSATIONAL
00:32:12.030 --> 00:32:12.250
AUTOPSY."
00:32:12.250 --> 00:32:13.060
- LAURIE: WE NEED A
00:32:13.060 --> 00:32:14.030
CONVERSATIONAL AUTOPSY.
00:32:14.030 --> 00:32:14.210
HOW DO YOU DO THAT CALMLY?
00:32:14.210 --> 00:32:16.200
- MATT: WELL, WHEN YOU WERE
00:32:16.200 --> 00:32:18.070
TALKING JUST NOW, IT MADE ME
00:32:18.070 --> 00:32:19.230
THINK OF SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED
00:32:19.230 --> 00:32:21.060
THE OTHER DAY AT HOME, BUT I
00:32:21.080 --> 00:32:24.080
DON'T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED,
00:32:24.080 --> 00:32:25.150
BUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
00:32:25.150 --> 00:32:27.220
- LAURIE: I DO.
00:32:27.220 --> 00:32:28.060
- LESLIE: YOU DO.
00:32:28.060 --> 00:32:28.210
YOU KNOW EXACTLY.
00:32:28.210 --> 00:32:29.060
- MATT: OKAY, WHAT HAPPENED?
00:32:29.060 --> 00:32:29.270
'CAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER.
00:32:29.270 --> 00:32:30.150
- LAURIE: ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT
00:32:30.150 --> 00:32:31.070
IN COLORADO, THE OTHER DAY, IN
00:32:31.070 --> 00:32:33.020
FRONT OF EVERYBODY?
00:32:33.020 --> 00:32:33.210
- LES: WELL, YES, THAT'S WHAT
00:32:33.210 --> 00:32:35.200
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:36.060
[LAUGHTER]
00:32:36.060 --> 00:32:36.200
- MATT: CRAP, I CAN'T REMEMBER
00:32:36.200 --> 00:32:38.250
WHAT SHE'S TALKIN' ABOUT.
00:32:38.250 --> 00:32:39.250
WHAT?
00:32:39.250 --> 00:32:40.090
[LAUGHTER]
00:32:40.090 --> 00:32:42.180
OKAY, WHAT'RE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
00:32:42.180 --> 00:32:43.100
- LES: THE ONE IN COLORADO.
00:32:43.100 --> 00:32:44.210
- LAURIE: WHEN YOU YELLED AT ME
00:32:44.210 --> 00:32:45.210
IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY.
00:32:45.210 --> 00:32:47.190
- MATT: OKAY, WHEN?
00:32:47.190 --> 00:32:48.230
WHAT'RE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
00:32:48.230 --> 00:32:49.120
[LAUGHTER]
00:32:49.120 --> 00:32:51.110
- LAURIE: I HAVE WITNESSES.
00:32:51.110 --> 00:32:52.020
[LAUGHTER]
00:32:52.020 --> 00:32:54.000
- MATT: OKAY, OKAY, FIRST OF
00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:54.210
ALL, WHERE WERE WE?
00:32:54.210 --> 00:32:55.200
WHAT'RE YOU TALKIN'--
00:32:55.200 --> 00:32:56.070
- LAURIE: OKAY, SO WE WERE IN
00:32:56.070 --> 00:32:57.060
COLORADO, STANDIN' THERE WITH
00:32:57.060 --> 00:32:58.080
ALL OF OUR BUNCH OF STAFF THERE
00:32:58.280 --> 00:33:02.000
IN COLORADO, AND I WAS LOOKING
00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:04.090
AT MY SON BECAUSE HE WAS COPPING
00:33:04.090 --> 00:33:05.220
AN ATTITUDE, AND SO I'M LOOKING
00:33:05.220 --> 00:33:06.270
BACK.
00:33:06.270 --> 00:33:08.170
MATT'S TALKING, SO HERE COMES MY
00:33:08.170 --> 00:33:09.270
POOR LITTLE SON.
00:33:09.270 --> 00:33:12.030
HE GETS INVOLVED, AND I'M LIKE,
00:33:12.030 --> 00:33:13.040
GOIN'-- AND I KEEP LOOKIN' AT
00:33:13.040 --> 00:33:15.160
CODY, AND MATT YELLS AT ME.
00:33:15.160 --> 00:33:17.240
- MATT: OH, I REMEMBER.
00:33:17.240 --> 00:33:18.260
- LAURIE: HE GOES, "WHY DO YOU
00:33:18.260 --> 00:33:20.240
KEEP LOOKIN' AT HIM?"
00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:21.190
AND SO I'M THINKIN' CODY'S GONNA
00:33:21.190 --> 00:33:22.140
GET IN TROUBLE, AND ALL OF A
00:33:22.140 --> 00:33:23.250
SUDDEN, I GET YELLED AT.
00:33:23.250 --> 00:33:24.250
- LESLIE: YOU'RE MAMA BEAR.
00:33:24.250 --> 00:33:25.240
- LAURIE: SO, BOY, JUST-- AND
00:33:25.240 --> 00:33:27.020
EVERYONE, JUST, QUIET, REAL
00:33:27.020 --> 00:33:28.190
QUIET.
00:33:28.230 --> 00:33:31.230
EVERYONE GOES SILENT, YOU KNOW?
00:33:31.230 --> 00:33:33.060
THEN, OF COURSE, I HAVE TO BE
00:33:33.060 --> 00:33:35.160
NICE TO EVERYBODY AND LOVE ON
00:33:35.160 --> 00:33:36.170
EVERYBODY, AND THEN THE DAY
00:33:36.170 --> 00:33:39.150
GOES.
00:33:39.150 --> 00:33:41.080
WE GET HOME, BACK TO CALIFORNIA
00:33:41.080 --> 00:33:42.000
AND SO--
00:33:42.000 --> 00:33:44.290
- MATT: YOU'RE STILL BEIN' A
00:33:44.290 --> 00:33:45.200
JERK.
00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:46.100
- LAURIE: -- I'M STILL-- OKAY,
00:33:46.100 --> 00:33:47.080
SO NOW I'M BEING THE JERK 'CAUSE
00:33:47.080 --> 00:33:48.000
I'M BEING QUIET, AND I SAID,
00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:49.140
"YOU YELLED AT ME IN FRONT OF--"
00:33:49.140 --> 00:33:50.230
HE GOES, "I DID NOT."
00:33:50.230 --> 00:33:52.140
- MATT: YEAH.
00:33:52.140 --> 00:33:54.260
- LAURIE: AND I SAID, "YES, YOU
00:33:54.260 --> 00:33:55.200
DID."
00:33:55.200 --> 00:33:56.220
EXCUSE ME, DID HE YELL AT
00:33:56.220 --> 00:33:57.260
ME IN FRONT-- JUST GIVE ME A
00:33:57.260 --> 00:33:58.170
BIG, "HEY."
00:33:58.170 --> 00:33:59.060
- MALE: HEY.
00:33:59.060 --> 00:34:00.260
[LAUGHTER]
00:34:01.030 --> 00:34:04.030
- LAURIE: I HAVE FOUR GOOD
00:34:04.030 --> 00:34:04.260
WITNESSES.
00:34:04.260 --> 00:34:07.220
- LES: THAT WASN'T MUCH OF A
00:34:07.220 --> 00:34:08.130
WITNESS.
00:34:08.130 --> 00:34:09.290
- MATT: YEAH, THAT WAS NOT MUCH
00:34:09.290 --> 00:34:10.210
OF--
00:34:10.210 --> 00:34:11.080
[LAUGHTER]
00:34:11.080 --> 00:34:11.210
- LAURIE: CAYLAN, DID HE YELL
00:34:11.210 --> 00:34:12.130
AT ME?
00:34:12.130 --> 00:34:12.220
MIRANDA?
00:34:12.220 --> 00:34:13.110
- LESLIE: IT'S MY TURN TO HUG
00:34:13.110 --> 00:34:14.030
YOU.
00:34:14.030 --> 00:34:14.110
- LAURIE: OKAY, THANK YOU.
00:34:14.110 --> 00:34:15.010
[APPLAUSE]
00:34:15.010 --> 00:34:15.120
I NEEDED IT.
00:34:15.120 --> 00:34:15.240
[LAUGHTER]
00:34:15.240 --> 00:34:16.050
[APPLAUSE]
00:34:17.140 --> 00:34:20.140
[MATT FAKE CRYING]
00:34:21.190 --> 00:34:24.190
- MATT: OH, GOD IN HEAVEN.
00:34:24.190 --> 00:34:26.120
[LAUGHTER]
00:34:26.120 --> 00:34:27.280
- LAURIE: IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE
00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:28.220
TALKIN' ABOUT?
00:34:28.220 --> 00:34:29.060
- MATT: I DON'T KNOW.
00:34:29.060 --> 00:34:29.230
[LAUGHTER]
00:34:29.230 --> 00:34:30.040
- LAURIE: THEY NEVER THINK
00:34:30.040 --> 00:34:31.050
ANYTHING'S WRONG.
00:34:31.050 --> 00:34:31.200
- LES: WHAT IS THIS INTERVIEW
00:34:31.200 --> 00:34:33.260
ABOUT?
00:34:33.260 --> 00:34:34.080
[LAUGHTER]
00:34:35.130 --> 00:34:38.130
- MATT: I DON'T KNOW-- GOD.
00:34:38.130 --> 00:34:40.060
SO WHAT'S INTERESTING ABOUT WHEN
00:34:40.060 --> 00:34:40.290
YOU GUYS WERE TELLING THAT
00:34:40.290 --> 00:34:41.180
STORY, FOR REAL, IT MADE ME
00:34:41.180 --> 00:34:42.080
REMEMBER AN EMOTION.
00:34:42.080 --> 00:34:45.030
- LAURIE & LESLIE: MM.
00:34:45.030 --> 00:34:46.120
[LAUGHTER]
00:34:46.120 --> 00:34:46.270
- MATT: I COULDN'T REMEMBER
00:34:46.270 --> 00:34:47.170
WHAT IT WAS, BUT I REMEMBER THE
00:34:47.170 --> 00:34:48.090
EMOTION OF BEING MISUNDERSTOOD.
00:34:50.140 --> 00:34:53.140
- LES & LESLIE: RIGHT.
00:34:53.140 --> 00:34:54.040
- MATT: AND THAT'S WHAT
00:34:54.040 --> 00:34:54.220
HAPPENS, ISN'T IT?
00:34:54.220 --> 00:34:55.130
- LESLIE: YES.
00:34:55.130 --> 00:34:56.230
- MATT: YOU KNOW, YOUR
00:34:56.230 --> 00:34:57.110
SARCASTIC CLAP, APPARENTLY,
00:34:57.110 --> 00:34:58.060
WHICH I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT
00:34:58.060 --> 00:34:59.240
THAT IS--
00:34:59.240 --> 00:35:00.120
- LES: RIGHT, WELL, YOUR ELBOWS
00:35:00.120 --> 00:35:01.180
HAVE TO GO OUT A LITTLE BIT.
00:35:01.180 --> 00:35:03.100
[LAUGHTER]
00:35:03.100 --> 00:35:05.240
- LESLIE: OH, GOODNESS.
00:35:05.240 --> 00:35:07.190
[LAUGHTER]
00:35:07.190 --> 00:35:10.090
- LAURIE: IT'S ABOUT THAT
00:35:10.090 --> 00:35:10.280
AUTOPSY.
00:35:10.280 --> 00:35:11.210
- LES: OR THERE'S THIS ONE.
00:35:11.210 --> 00:35:12.110
[LAUGHTER]
00:35:12.110 --> 00:35:13.280
I THINK WE'VE SEEN THAT IN
00:35:13.280 --> 00:35:15.140
CONGRESS, MAYBE.
00:35:15.140 --> 00:35:17.150
- MATT: I JUST REMEMBERED THE
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:21.000
EMOTION OF IT THAT THERE WAS
00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:23.060
SOME MISCUE--
00:35:23.060 --> 00:35:24.180
- LAURIE: MM-HMM, YOUR MOUTH.
00:35:24.180 --> 00:35:26.040
[LAUGHTER]
00:35:26.040 --> 00:35:27.050
- MATT: -- THAT YOU GET INTO A
00:35:27.050 --> 00:35:27.270
MISCUE WHEN YOU DON'T MEAN IT
00:35:27.270 --> 00:35:28.290
THAT WAY.
00:35:28.290 --> 00:35:29.250
- LESLIE: RIGHT.
00:35:29.250 --> 00:35:30.100
- MATT: IT'S USUALLY THAT THERE
00:35:30.100 --> 00:35:31.150
IS JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING.
00:35:31.150 --> 00:35:32.250
- LAURIE: YOU JUST NEED TO
00:35:32.250 --> 00:35:33.150
LOWER YOUR TONE.
00:35:33.150 --> 00:35:34.060
- MATT: SO WHAT HAPPENED?
00:35:34.060 --> 00:35:35.150
WHAT DO WE DO TO FIX THAT?
00:35:35.150 --> 00:35:37.040
- LES: YEAH, I LOVE THAT
00:35:37.040 --> 00:35:38.240
BECAUSE THAT'S EXACT-- IT'S LIKE
00:35:38.240 --> 00:35:40.210
A COMPUTER, RIGHT?
00:35:40.210 --> 00:35:41.080
YOU GET IMPRINTED WITH
00:35:41.080 --> 00:35:42.060
SOMETHING.
00:35:42.060 --> 00:35:42.210
EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T REMEMBER
00:35:42.210 --> 00:35:44.260
I REMEMBER THE FEELING I HAD
00:35:47.120 --> 00:35:48.020
TOWARD THAT PERSON, EVEN THOUGH
00:35:48.020 --> 00:35:48.240
I CAN'T REALLY REMEMBER HIS NAME
00:35:48.240 --> 00:35:49.160
OR ANYTHING ELSE.
00:35:49.160 --> 00:35:50.010
- LAURIE: YEAH, NOBODY LIKES
00:35:50.010 --> 00:35:50.220
THE FEELING.
00:35:50.220 --> 00:35:51.040
- LES: RIGHT.
00:35:51.040 --> 00:35:51.170
AND THOSE FEELINGS HAVE A WAY OF
00:35:52.140 --> 00:35:53.060
COMING BACK AND CATCHING US OFF
00:35:53.060 --> 00:35:53.280
GUARD.
00:35:53.280 --> 00:35:54.070
- LES: RIGHT, AS WE LIKE TO
00:35:54.070 --> 00:35:54.270
SAY, "NEGATIVE FEELINGS HAVE A
00:35:54.270 --> 00:35:55.210
HIGH RATE OF RESURRECTION,"
00:35:55.210 --> 00:35:56.110
RIGHT?
00:35:56.110 --> 00:35:58.260
- LAURIE: LIKE ON THIS SHOW.
00:35:58.260 --> 00:35:59.170
[LAUGHTER]
00:36:00.230 --> 00:36:03.230
OH, WE MADE UP SO IT'S OKAY.
00:36:03.230 --> 00:36:04.180
- LES: HE'S NOT KISSIN'.
00:36:04.180 --> 00:36:05.100
- LAURIE: I NOTICED THAT.
00:36:05.100 --> 00:36:08.020
[LAUGHTER]
00:36:08.020 --> 00:36:08.150
- MATT: SHE DOESN'T WANT HER
00:36:08.150 --> 00:36:09.060
LIPSTICK--
00:36:09.060 --> 00:36:09.240
[LAUGHTER]
00:36:09.240 --> 00:36:10.160
- LES: THAT'S IT, YOU GOT IT.
00:36:10.160 --> 00:36:11.070
[LAUGHTER]
00:36:11.070 --> 00:36:11.180
- MATT: OH, MY GOD.
00:36:11.180 --> 00:36:14.170
OKAY, WOULD YOU JUST PICK UP THE
00:36:14.170 --> 00:36:15.090
STUPID ASSESSMENT AND FIX US?
00:36:15.090 --> 00:36:16.000
[LAUGHTER]
00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:17.210
YEAH, OKAY, I'M READY TO BE
00:36:17.210 --> 00:36:18.240
FIXED.
00:36:18.240 --> 00:36:19.070
- LES: LET'S DO IT.
00:36:19.070 --> 00:36:19.230
RIGHT HERE.
00:36:19.230 --> 00:36:20.080
I WILL TELL YOU, THOSE FEELINGS,
00:36:20.080 --> 00:36:21.250
THEY--
00:36:21.250 --> 00:36:23.220
- MATT: I'M EMOTIONALLY SPENT.
00:36:23.220 --> 00:36:24.240
[LAUGHTER]
00:36:24.240 --> 00:36:26.240
- LES: WE MIGHT HAVE TO CHARGE
00:36:26.240 --> 00:36:27.160
YOU GUYS FOR THIS SESSION.
00:36:27.160 --> 00:36:28.050
- MATT: SERIOUSLY.
00:36:28.050 --> 00:36:28.280
HAH, WHATEVER IT IS,
00:36:28.280 --> 00:36:30.090
WE'LL PAY IT.
00:36:30.090 --> 00:36:31.100
[LAUGHTER]
00:36:31.100 --> 00:36:33.090
I'D RATHER JUST WRITE YOU A
00:36:33.090 --> 00:36:34.120
CHECK.
00:36:34.120 --> 00:36:35.040
[APPLAUSE]
00:36:35.040 --> 00:36:36.250
[LAUGHTER]
00:36:36.250 --> 00:36:38.080
- LAURIE: CAN YOU BUY EMPATHY?
00:36:38.080 --> 00:36:39.160
- MATT: OH, MY GOD.
00:36:39.160 --> 00:36:41.150
- LES: SO I DO HOLD IN MY HANDS
00:36:41.150 --> 00:36:44.090
THE BETTER LOVE REPORT THAT YOU
00:36:44.090 --> 00:36:45.230
GUYS HAD, AND, AGAIN, IT'S
00:36:45.230 --> 00:36:47.200
REALLY A ROAD MAP, BUT LET'S
00:36:47.200 --> 00:36:48.280
HIGHLIGHT SOMETHING HERE IF YOU
00:36:48.280 --> 00:36:50.090
GUYS ARE WILLING TO SHARE IT
00:36:50.090 --> 00:36:51.280
'CAUSE IT'S NONTHREATENING.
00:36:51.280 --> 00:36:53.110
IT STARTS WITH PERSONALITY,
00:36:53.110 --> 00:36:54.100
BASICALLY, HOW GOD DESIGNED THE
00:36:54.100 --> 00:36:56.020
TWO OF YOU, AND WE REVEAL IT
00:36:56.020 --> 00:36:58.230
HERE IN THIS LITTLE PINWHEEL OF
00:36:58.230 --> 00:37:00.050
PERSONALITY.
00:37:00.050 --> 00:37:01.250
THERE'S EIGHT DIFFERENT TYPES:
00:37:01.250 --> 00:37:02.230
YOU CAN BE A "PIONEERING
00:37:02.230 --> 00:37:04.030
SPOUSE"-- THAT'S WHAT I AM; AN
00:37:05.060 --> 00:37:08.060
"AFFIRMING SPOUSE," AN
00:37:08.060 --> 00:37:08.240
"ENERGIZING SPOUSE," AND YOU'RE
00:37:08.240 --> 00:37:09.160
AN "AFFIRMING SPOUSE."
00:37:09.160 --> 00:37:10.230
- MATT: OKAY.
00:37:10.230 --> 00:37:11.120
- LES: YOU ARE AN "UNWAVERING
00:37:11.120 --> 00:37:12.060
SPOUSE."
00:37:12.060 --> 00:37:13.110
- MATT: WAIT, WAIT, WHO'S WHO?
00:37:13.110 --> 00:37:15.170
WHICH ONE IS WHO?
00:37:15.170 --> 00:37:17.060
- LAURIE: WHO'S AFFIRMING?
00:37:17.060 --> 00:37:17.260
[LAUGHTER]
00:37:17.260 --> 00:37:19.250
- LES: LET ME MAKE SURE I'M
00:37:19.250 --> 00:37:20.270
READIN' IT RIGHT HERE.
00:37:20.270 --> 00:37:21.150
YOU ARE UNWAVERING.
00:37:21.150 --> 00:37:23.010
SO THIS MEANS THAT YOU ARE,
00:37:23.010 --> 00:37:23.240
RELATIVE TO HIM--
00:37:23.240 --> 00:37:25.290
- LAURIE: ME?
00:37:25.290 --> 00:37:26.120
- LES: YES.
00:37:26.120 --> 00:37:26.260
- LAURIE: I'M UNWAVERING?
00:37:26.260 --> 00:37:27.290
- LES: YES, YOU'RE VERY LOYAL.
00:37:27.290 --> 00:37:28.210
- LAURIE: YES, I AM.
00:37:28.210 --> 00:37:29.130
- LES: YOU'RE VERY COMMITTED.
00:37:29.130 --> 00:37:30.170
YOU HAVE PREDICTABLE-- LIKE,
00:37:30.170 --> 00:37:31.240
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
00:37:31.240 --> 00:37:33.060
CHANGED THE FURNITURE IN YOUR
00:37:33.060 --> 00:37:33.270
HOUSE?
00:37:33.270 --> 00:37:34.170
DO YOU CHANGE IT?
00:37:34.170 --> 00:37:35.200
- LAURIE: NO.
00:37:35.200 --> 00:37:36.230
- LES: NOT VERY OFTEN?
00:37:36.230 --> 00:37:37.120
- LAURIE: MM-MM.
00:37:37.120 --> 00:37:37.270
- LES: RIGHT, YOU LIKE IT HOW
00:37:37.270 --> 00:37:38.180
IT IS, RIGHT?
00:37:38.180 --> 00:37:39.150
- MATT: WOW.
00:37:39.150 --> 00:37:39.290
- LES: HOW ABOUT WHEN YOU GO
00:37:39.290 --> 00:37:40.200
HOME TONIGHT?
00:37:40.200 --> 00:37:41.030
YOU SWITCH THE SIDES OF THE BED
00:37:41.030 --> 00:37:41.250
WITH EACH OTHER?
00:37:41.250 --> 00:37:42.130
ARE YOU OPEN TO THAT?
00:37:42.130 --> 00:37:43.030
- MATT: OH, GOD, NO.
00:37:43.030 --> 00:37:44.060
[LAUGHTER]
00:37:44.060 --> 00:37:45.250
- LAURIE: BUT, IN HOTEL ROOMS,
00:37:45.250 --> 00:37:47.120
IT DOESN'T MATTER IN HOTEL
00:37:47.120 --> 00:37:49.070
ROOMS.
00:37:49.070 --> 00:37:50.030
- LES: WE DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT
00:37:50.030 --> 00:37:50.250
GOES ON.
00:37:50.250 --> 00:37:51.130
[LAUGHTER]
00:37:53.250 --> 00:37:56.250
- MATT: IT DOESN'T SAY ON
00:37:56.250 --> 00:37:57.140
THERE, DOES IT?
00:37:57.140 --> 00:37:57.280
- LES: NO, THAT'S A COMPLETELY
00:37:57.280 --> 00:37:58.200
DIFFERENT--
00:37:58.200 --> 00:37:59.020
[LAUGHTER]
00:37:59.020 --> 00:37:59.200
YOU KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF.
00:37:59.200 --> 00:38:01.160
- LAURIE: BUT IT'S NOT LIKE
00:38:01.160 --> 00:38:04.030
EVERY NIGHT IN A HOTEL ROOM WE
00:38:04.030 --> 00:38:05.140
HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE SAME SIDE.
00:38:05.140 --> 00:38:06.290
- LES: RIGHT.
00:38:06.290 --> 00:38:07.150
- LAURIE: WE CAN ALWAYS BE
00:38:07.150 --> 00:38:08.070
DIFFERENT IN A-- BUT AT HOME--
00:38:08.070 --> 00:38:09.260
- LESLIE: IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE
00:38:09.260 --> 00:38:10.180
RIGID.
00:38:10.180 --> 00:38:11.050
IT'S JUST THAT YOU HAVE YOUR
00:38:11.050 --> 00:38:11.250
GROOVE.
00:38:11.250 --> 00:38:12.200
- LES: THE POINT IS THAT YOU
00:38:12.200 --> 00:38:13.250
TEND TO-- ACCORDING TO THE WAY
00:38:13.250 --> 00:38:16.130
YOU ANSWERED THIS, YOU TEND TO
00:38:16.130 --> 00:38:17.210
BE MORE SLOW-PACED.
00:38:17.210 --> 00:38:18.270
HE'S A LITTLE BIT MORE
00:38:18.270 --> 00:38:20.040
FAST-PACED.
00:38:20.040 --> 00:38:21.190
HE'S URGENT WITH THINGS THAT ARE
00:38:21.190 --> 00:38:23.000
HAPPENING IN HIS LIFE, RIGHT?
00:38:23.000 --> 00:38:24.070
HE WANTS TO GET THINGS DONE.
00:38:24.070 --> 00:38:25.240
"IF YOU COME HOME FROM THE
00:38:25.240 --> 00:38:26.250
GROCERY STORE AND YOU HAVE SIX
00:38:26.250 --> 00:38:28.020
BAGS OF GROCERIES, HOW MANY
00:38:28.020 --> 00:38:29.060
TRIPS SHOULD IT TAKE TO GET SIX
00:38:29.060 --> 00:38:30.170
BAGS OF GROCERIES IN THE HOUSE?"
00:38:30.170 --> 00:38:31.210
- MATT: ONE.
00:38:31.210 --> 00:38:32.180
- LES: YEAH, EXACTLY, RIGHT?
00:38:32.180 --> 00:38:33.090
YOU'RE GONNA PUT 'EM ON EVERY
00:38:33.090 --> 00:38:34.110
FINGER.
00:38:34.110 --> 00:38:35.050
"OPEN THE DOORS," RIGHT?
00:38:35.050 --> 00:38:35.260
A PERSON THAT'S SLOW PACED,
00:38:35.260 --> 00:38:37.060
"WE'LL JUST TAKE-- WE CAN TAKE
00:38:37.060 --> 00:38:39.100
OUR TIME.
00:38:39.100 --> 00:38:39.280
I'LL COME BACK AND GET THOSE IN
00:38:39.280 --> 00:38:40.200
A MINUTE," RIGHT?
00:38:40.200 --> 00:38:41.050
SO THAT'S ONE ASPECT OF IT.
00:38:41.050 --> 00:38:42.050
- MATT: AND, BY THE WAY, THAT
00:38:42.050 --> 00:38:43.130
WOULD BOTHER ME.
00:38:43.130 --> 00:38:45.150
- LESLIE: THAT SHE'S WILLING TO
00:38:45.150 --> 00:38:46.290
JUST TAKE HER TIME?
00:38:46.290 --> 00:38:48.030
- MATT: YEAH, TAKE HER TIME.
00:38:48.030 --> 00:38:48.240
- LES: 'CAUSE IT'S NOT
00:38:48.240 --> 00:38:49.120
EFFICIENT.
00:38:49.120 --> 00:38:50.240
- LESLIE: YEAH, AND ANOTHER
00:38:50.240 --> 00:38:51.270
DYNAMIC HAS MORE TO DO WITH ARE
00:38:51.270 --> 00:38:53.110
YOU FOCUSED MORE ON PEOPLE-- AND
00:38:53.110 --> 00:38:55.000
THAT'S WHERE YOU GET YOUR ENERGY
00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:56.130
AND GIVE YOUR ENERGY-- OR ARE
00:38:56.130 --> 00:38:58.050
YOU ALL ABOUT "LET'S GET A TASK
00:38:58.050 --> 00:38:59.200
ACCOMPLISHED"?
00:38:59.200 --> 00:39:01.030
"LET'S REALLY DO SOMETHING."
00:39:01.030 --> 00:39:02.150
AND YOU FEEL GREAT ABOUT YOUR
00:39:02.150 --> 00:39:04.000
TO-DO LIST AND GETTING THOSE
00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:05.100
THINGS CROSSED OFF.
00:39:05.100 --> 00:39:06.150
- LES: AND YOU'RE
00:39:06.150 --> 00:39:07.020
PEOPLE-ORIENTED.
00:39:07.020 --> 00:39:07.290
YOU GET YOUR ENERGY THERE.
00:39:07.290 --> 00:39:08.180
- LESLIE: YEAH.
00:39:08.180 --> 00:39:09.130
- LES: I TEND TO BE MORE
00:39:09.130 --> 00:39:10.020
TASK-ORIENTED.
00:39:10.020 --> 00:39:11.080
- LESLIE: TEND TO BE?
00:39:11.080 --> 00:39:11.250
- LES: YEAH.
00:39:11.250 --> 00:39:12.110
[LAUGHTER]
00:39:12.110 --> 00:39:13.010
WELL, WELL, WELL.
00:39:13.010 --> 00:39:15.190
[LAUGHTER]
00:39:15.190 --> 00:39:17.180
[CLAPPING]
00:39:18.090 --> 00:39:21.090
WE'RE GONNA START A WHOLE NEW
00:39:21.090 --> 00:39:22.000
TREND.
00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:22.180
[APPLAUSE]
00:39:22.180 --> 00:39:23.070
[LAUGHTER]
00:39:23.070 --> 00:39:26.010
- MATT: THAT'S GONNA BE A GIF.
00:39:26.010 --> 00:39:26.270
[LAUGHTER]
00:39:26.270 --> 00:39:29.180
- LES: THE PARROTTS.
00:39:29.180 --> 00:39:30.110
BUT, YEAH, EVERY DAY STARTS AT
00:39:30.110 --> 00:39:33.080
ZERO FOR ME.
00:39:33.080 --> 00:39:33.230
I WANNA GET THINGS DONE DURING
00:39:33.230 --> 00:39:34.220
MY DAY.
00:39:34.220 --> 00:39:35.180
I LOVE A TO-DO LIST.
00:39:35.180 --> 00:39:37.070
ARE YOU LIKE ME?
00:39:37.070 --> 00:39:38.190
LIKE, THE VERY FIRST THING ON MY
00:39:38.190 --> 00:39:39.110
TO-DO LIST SAYS, "MAKE TO-DO
00:39:39.110 --> 00:39:40.090
LIST."
00:39:40.090 --> 00:39:41.060
LIKE, LET'S GET THIS
00:39:41.060 --> 00:39:42.020
GOIN', YOU KNOW?
00:39:42.020 --> 00:39:43.050
AND EVEN IF I'D ACCOMPLISHED
00:39:43.050 --> 00:39:44.110
SOMETHING DURING THE DAY THAT
00:39:44.110 --> 00:39:45.050
WASN'T ON MY LIST-- ANYBODY DO
00:39:45.050 --> 00:39:46.050
THIS?
00:39:46.050 --> 00:39:47.080
YOU PUT IT ON YOUR LIST AND
00:39:47.080 --> 00:39:48.120
SCRATCH IT RIGHT OFF?
00:39:48.120 --> 00:39:49.150
YEAH.
00:39:49.150 --> 00:39:50.010
- LESLIE: THAT IS SUCH A WASTE.
00:39:50.010 --> 00:39:52.100
[LAUGHTER]
00:39:52.100 --> 00:39:53.270
- LES: WELL, THAT'S HOW GOD
00:39:53.270 --> 00:39:55.010
MADE ME SO--
00:39:55.010 --> 00:39:55.280
- LESLIE: I KNOW.
00:39:55.280 --> 00:39:56.190
[LAUGHTER]
00:39:56.190 --> 00:39:58.280
BUT, SO, ANYWAY, TASK-ORIENTED
00:39:58.280 --> 00:40:00.000
OR PEOPLE-ORIENTED, FAST-PACED,
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.010
SLOW-PACE.
00:40:01.010 --> 00:40:01.200
- LESLIE: AND THAT COMBINATION,
00:40:01.200 --> 00:40:03.120
THAT SYNERGY, IS KIND OF WHAT
00:40:03.120 --> 00:40:05.100
CREATES THIS PERSONALITY.
00:40:05.100 --> 00:40:06.270
- LES: YEAH.
00:40:06.270 --> 00:40:07.130
- MATT: WHAT ELSE DID WE LEARN
00:40:07.130 --> 00:40:08.100
ABOUT US?
00:40:08.100 --> 00:40:08.270
WHAT ELSE?
00:40:08.270 --> 00:40:10.080
- LES: YEAH, SO ON THE FIRST
00:40:10.080 --> 00:40:10.290
PAGE, IT LOOKS AT THAT
00:40:10.290 --> 00:40:11.220
COMBINATION.
00:40:11.220 --> 00:40:12.070
- MATT: GOT IT.
00:40:12.070 --> 00:40:12.260
- LES: THERE'S EIGHT DIFFERENT
00:40:12.260 --> 00:40:13.180
TYPES, AND YOU CAN READ, AND
00:40:13.180 --> 00:40:14.170
THIS IS WHERE I SAID EARLIER:
00:40:14.170 --> 00:40:16.000
THESE PARAGRAPHS-- YOU'RE
00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:16.190
STARTIN' TO LAUGH ABOUT, JUST
00:40:16.190 --> 00:40:17.260
LOOKIN' AT ME.
00:40:17.260 --> 00:40:19.000
WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
00:40:19.000 --> 00:40:19.180
[LAUGHTER]
00:40:19.180 --> 00:40:21.170
FORTY THOUSAND VARIABLES THAT GO
00:40:21.170 --> 00:40:22.140
INTO THOSE PARAGRAPHS, SO IT'S
00:40:22.140 --> 00:40:23.230
PRETTY SPECIFIC.
00:40:23.230 --> 00:40:24.100
- LESLIE: RIGHT, SO THEY'RE
00:40:24.100 --> 00:40:25.070
REALLY UNIQUE.
00:40:25.070 --> 00:40:25.240
IT'S NOT JUST A SIMPLE MODEL.
00:40:25.240 --> 00:40:26.230
IT'S COMPLEX.
00:40:26.230 --> 00:40:27.210
- LES: THIS WAS INTERESTING.
00:40:27.210 --> 00:40:29.140
I WAS LOOKIN' AT THIS ON YOUR
00:40:29.140 --> 00:40:30.090
REPORT.
00:40:30.090 --> 00:40:30.290
- MATT: UH-HUH.
00:40:30.290 --> 00:40:32.110
[LAUGHTER]
00:40:32.280 --> 00:40:35.280
WHAT WERE YOU LOOKING AT, YEAH?
00:40:35.280 --> 00:40:36.280
- LES: SO WHEN IT COMES TO
00:40:36.280 --> 00:40:38.270
SOLVING PROBLEMS-- AND ABOUT 25%
00:40:38.270 --> 00:40:41.060
OF OUR CONVERSATIONS IN MARRIAGE
00:40:41.060 --> 00:40:42.240
ARE DEVOTED TO PROBLEM-SOLVING,
00:40:42.240 --> 00:40:44.070
SO YOU REALLY LIKE TO TAKE YOUR
00:40:44.070 --> 00:40:46.220
TIME IN SOLVING A PROBLEM,
00:40:46.220 --> 00:40:48.130
ACCORDING TO THIS.
00:40:48.130 --> 00:40:49.110
YOU'RE LIKE, "LET'S REFLECT ON
00:40:49.110 --> 00:40:50.120
THIS.
00:40:50.120 --> 00:40:51.220
LET'S NOT DO ANYTHING RASH."
00:40:51.220 --> 00:40:52.250
YOU'RE KIND OF IN THE MID-RANGE.
00:40:52.250 --> 00:40:54.060
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE AN
00:40:54.060 --> 00:40:55.080
AGGRESSIVE PROBLEM-SOLVER, BUT
00:40:55.080 --> 00:40:56.260
RELATIVE TO HER, YOU MIGHT BE
00:40:56.260 --> 00:40:58.120
SOMETIMES IMPATIENT AND
00:40:58.120 --> 00:41:00.190
SOMETIMES, "HEY, LET'S GET ON
00:41:00.190 --> 00:41:02.140
WITH THIS.
00:41:02.140 --> 00:41:02.290
IT'S TIME TO--"
00:41:02.290 --> 00:41:03.210
- LAURIE: HE ALWAYS WANTS TO
00:41:03.210 --> 00:41:04.210
FIX MY PROBLEMS PRETTY FAST.
00:41:04.210 --> 00:41:05.190
- LES: YEAH, BUT MOST GUYS DO,
00:41:05.190 --> 00:41:06.170
RIGHT?
00:41:06.170 --> 00:41:07.140
NOT JUST YOURS, BUT YOU'RE A
00:41:07.140 --> 00:41:08.090
WOMAN.
00:41:08.090 --> 00:41:08.240
- MATT: THANK YOU.
00:41:08.240 --> 00:41:09.100
THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
00:41:09.100 --> 00:41:09.270
[LAUGHTER]
00:41:09.270 --> 00:41:10.290
THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
00:41:10.290 --> 00:41:12.280
[LAUGHTER]
00:41:13.030 --> 00:41:16.030
- LES: I CAME HOME NOT TOO LONG
00:41:16.030 --> 00:41:17.140
AGO FROM A LATE-NIGHT LECTURE,
00:41:17.140 --> 00:41:19.290
AND I WALKED IN THE FRONT DOOR.
00:41:19.290 --> 00:41:20.210
LESLIE GIVES ME A LITTLE
00:41:20.210 --> 00:41:21.190
GREETING.
00:41:21.190 --> 00:41:22.170
HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER ALL DAY,
00:41:22.170 --> 00:41:23.280
AND SHE SAID, "HEY, THE KITCHEN
00:41:23.280 --> 00:41:24.290
SINK IS BACKED UP."
00:41:24.290 --> 00:41:26.090
AND I SAID, "IT IS?"
00:41:26.090 --> 00:41:27.260
- LAURIE: YOU DIDN'T FIX IT?
00:41:27.260 --> 00:41:29.170
[LAUGHTER]
00:41:29.170 --> 00:41:30.010
- LESLIE: YEAH, AND HE SAID TO
00:41:30.010 --> 00:41:31.150
ME, "WELL, HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN
00:41:31.150 --> 00:41:32.180
LIKE THAT?"
00:41:32.180 --> 00:41:33.130
AND I SAID, "ALL DAY."
00:41:33.130 --> 00:41:34.210
- LES: AND I SAID, "WHAT HAVE
00:41:34.210 --> 00:41:35.120
YOU BEEN DOING?"
00:41:35.120 --> 00:41:36.120
[LAUGHTER]
00:41:36.180 --> 00:41:39.180
- MATT: THAT'S WHAT I WOULD'VE
00:41:39.180 --> 00:41:41.020
SAID.
00:41:41.020 --> 00:41:42.290
- LES: AND SHE SAID, "WAITIN'
00:41:42.290 --> 00:41:44.000
FOR YOU TO GET HOME."
00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:45.030
[LAUGHTER]
00:41:45.030 --> 00:41:47.000
AND SO I IMMEDIATELY-- IT'S,
00:41:47.000 --> 00:41:48.150
LIKE, 10 O'CLOCK AT NIGHT.
00:41:48.150 --> 00:41:49.180
I IMMEDIATELY PICK UP MY PHONE
00:41:49.180 --> 00:41:51.010
AND CALL MY FRIEND GEORGE, WHO'S
00:41:51.010 --> 00:41:51.230
A PLUMBER NEARBY IN OUR
00:41:51.230 --> 00:41:52.220
NEIGHBORHOOD, AND SHE SAYS, "OH,
00:41:52.220 --> 00:41:54.230
NO, DON'T CALL GEORGE NOW.
00:41:54.230 --> 00:41:55.220
IT'S TOO LATE TO CALL HIM."
00:41:55.220 --> 00:41:56.200
I SAID, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
00:41:56.200 --> 00:41:57.210
HE'S GONNA LOVE IT.
00:41:57.210 --> 00:41:58.080
HE'LL BE OVER HERE IN TEN
00:41:58.080 --> 00:41:58.270
MINUTES."
00:41:58.270 --> 00:41:59.240
SHE SAID, "NO, NO, NO."
00:41:59.240 --> 00:42:00.170
SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO BED.
00:42:00.170 --> 00:42:01.160
LET'S SEE HOW THE SINK IS DOING
00:42:01.160 --> 00:42:02.180
IN THE MORNING."
00:42:02.180 --> 00:42:03.070
[LAUGHTER]
00:42:03.070 --> 00:42:05.050
I SAID, "DO YOU THINK LITTLE
00:42:05.050 --> 00:42:05.260
FAIRIES ARE GONNA COME IN HERE
00:42:05.260 --> 00:42:06.190
AND WORK ON OUR SINK?"
00:42:06.190 --> 00:42:07.200
YOU KNOW, SO SHE'S A REFLECTIVE
00:42:07.200 --> 00:42:09.090
PROBLEM-SOLVER LIKE YOU ARE.
00:42:09.090 --> 00:42:10.250
I'M A PRETTY-- OH, MY GOODNESS.
00:42:11.020 --> 00:42:14.020
[LAUGHTER]
00:42:14.020 --> 00:42:15.070
[APPLAUSE]
00:42:15.070 --> 00:42:18.030
- LESLIE: WE GOT A SUPPORT
00:42:18.030 --> 00:42:18.250
GROUP GOIN'.
00:42:18.250 --> 00:42:19.120
- MATT: OH, MY GOD.
00:42:19.120 --> 00:42:20.090
[LAUGHTER]
00:42:20.090 --> 00:42:22.150
- LES: ALL RIGHT.
00:42:22.150 --> 00:42:23.010
- MATT: MOVE ON, YEAH.
00:42:23.010 --> 00:42:23.220
[LAUGHTER]
00:42:23.220 --> 00:42:25.290
- LAURIE: SO HOW'S THE SINK?
00:42:25.290 --> 00:42:27.190
- LES: THE SINK IS BETTER,
00:42:27.190 --> 00:42:28.180
YEAH, THANK YOU.
00:42:28.180 --> 00:42:29.110
- LAURIE: OKAY.
00:42:29.110 --> 00:42:30.290
IT'S OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
00:42:30.290 --> 00:42:31.160
- LES: ACTUALLY, WE HAD A
00:42:31.160 --> 00:42:32.050
PLUMBER THERE YESTERDAY.
00:42:32.050 --> 00:42:32.230
- LESLIE: YEAH, WE DID,
00:42:32.230 --> 00:42:33.110
ACTUALLY.
00:42:33.110 --> 00:42:34.150
- LES: LET'S TALK ABOUT
00:42:34.150 --> 00:42:35.070
TALKING, COMMUNICATION.
00:42:35.070 --> 00:42:35.250
IT'S THE LIFEBLOOD OF A
00:42:35.250 --> 00:42:36.200
RELATIONSHIP AND-- MAKE SOME
00:42:36.200 --> 00:42:38.020
SENSE OUT OF THIS.
00:42:38.250 --> 00:42:41.250
I CAN'T TELL ANYTHING ABOUT
00:42:41.250 --> 00:42:42.150
WHAT'S GOING ON THERE.
00:42:42.150 --> 00:42:43.190
[LAUGHTER]
00:42:43.190 --> 00:42:44.020
- MATT: WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?
00:42:44.020 --> 00:42:45.020
- LESLIE: WELL, HERE, ONE OF
00:42:45.020 --> 00:42:46.200
THE THINGS WE KNOW IS THAT, EVEN
00:42:46.200 --> 00:42:48.080
THOUGH WE FEEL MOST CONNECTED BY
00:42:48.080 --> 00:42:49.200
CONVERSATION, WE DON'T
00:42:49.200 --> 00:42:50.120
NECESSARILY LEAN INTO IT THE
00:42:50.120 --> 00:42:52.030
SAME WAY.
00:42:52.030 --> 00:42:52.290
I MEAN, ONE OF THE INTERESTING
00:42:52.290 --> 00:42:54.200
THINGS IS THERE ARE EVEN SOME
00:42:54.200 --> 00:42:56.070
PRETTY SIGNIFICANT BRAIN
00:42:56.070 --> 00:42:57.180
DIFFERENCES WHEN IT COMES TO
00:42:57.180 --> 00:42:58.250
WHAT A GUY WANTS IN A
00:42:58.250 --> 00:42:59.210
CONVERSATION, WHAT A WOMAN
00:42:59.210 --> 00:43:00.270
WANTS, SO WHEN YOU BLEND THAT
00:43:00.270 --> 00:43:02.230
WITH YOUR OWN PERSONALITY, YOU
00:43:02.230 --> 00:43:05.110
REALLY START TO FIGURE OUT "WHY
00:43:05.250 --> 00:43:08.250
DO WE HAVE MELTDOWNS?"
00:43:08.250 --> 00:43:09.220
BECAUSE WE'RE NOT WORKING FOR
00:43:09.220 --> 00:43:11.030
THE SAME GOAL.
00:43:11.030 --> 00:43:11.280
- LES: YEAH, RESEARCHERS CALL
00:43:11.280 --> 00:43:12.190
IT FOR GUYS, "REPORT TALK."
00:43:12.190 --> 00:43:13.090
WE LIKE THE REPORT,
00:43:13.090 --> 00:43:14.220
AND THIS IS IMPORTANT
00:43:14.220 --> 00:43:15.290
FOR WOMEN TO UNDERSTAND:
00:43:15.290 --> 00:43:17.080
WE WANNA BE IN THE KNOW.
00:43:17.080 --> 00:43:18.130
WE WANT THE INFORMATION.
00:43:18.130 --> 00:43:19.210
IT'S JUST THAT WE DON'T NEED ALL
00:43:19.210 --> 00:43:20.290
THE FLUFF.
00:43:20.290 --> 00:43:22.150
WE DON'T NEED ALL THE BUNNY
00:43:22.150 --> 00:43:24.000
TRAILS, AND WE WANT THE REPORT.
00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:26.060
YOU EVER HEARD YOUR MAN SAY, YOU
00:43:26.060 --> 00:43:27.260
KNOW, "GET TO THE BOTTOM LINE,"
00:43:27.260 --> 00:43:29.060
"DOES THIS STORY HAVE AN END,"
00:43:29.060 --> 00:43:30.200
RIGHT?
00:43:30.200 --> 00:43:31.090
IT'S THAT KIND OF STUFF.
00:43:31.090 --> 00:43:32.120
- MATT: THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
00:43:32.120 --> 00:43:33.020
[LAUGHTER]
00:43:33.020 --> 00:43:35.140
- LES: AND IT'S NOT THAT WAY
00:43:35.140 --> 00:43:36.290
FOR WOMEN.
00:43:36.290 --> 00:43:38.010
- LESLIE: NO, I MEAN, FOR US,
00:43:38.010 --> 00:43:39.050
CONVERSATION IS CONNECTION.
00:43:39.050 --> 00:43:41.140
THAT'S WHY WE'VE HUGGED THREE
00:43:41.140 --> 00:43:43.210
TIMES ALREADY BECAUSE WE'RE
00:43:43.210 --> 00:43:44.110
BONDING.
00:43:44.110 --> 00:43:44.250
AND SO IT'S NOT AN EXCHANGE OF
00:43:44.250 --> 00:43:46.080
INFORMATION.
00:43:46.080 --> 00:43:48.040
IT'S, LITERALLY, WE'RE TRYING TO
00:43:48.040 --> 00:43:50.050
OPEN A WINDOW OF CONNECTION
00:43:50.050 --> 00:43:52.030
BETWEEN US.
00:43:52.030 --> 00:43:53.120
- LES: YEAH, SO IT'S NOT
00:43:53.120 --> 00:43:54.010
"REPORT TALK."
00:43:54.010 --> 00:43:54.190
IT'S WHAT RESEARCHERS
00:43:54.190 --> 00:43:55.060
CALL "RAPPORT,"
00:43:55.060 --> 00:43:56.050
"BUILDING RAPPORT."
00:43:56.050 --> 00:43:57.000
AND LESLIE POINTED OUT
00:43:57.000 --> 00:43:58.210
SOMETHING SO FASCINATING
00:43:58.210 --> 00:43:59.150
AT OUR OWN CHURCH--
00:43:59.150 --> 00:44:00.220
AND I'VE NOTICED IT IN OTHER
00:44:00.220 --> 00:44:01.240
CHURCHES WHERE WE SPEAK AROUND
00:44:01.240 --> 00:44:03.000
THE COUNTRY-- THAT YOU WILL SEE
00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:04.080
WOMEN IN THE CHURCH FOYER THAT
00:44:04.080 --> 00:44:06.010
LEAN IN AND HOLD HANDS WHILE
00:44:06.010 --> 00:44:07.200
THEY'RE TALKING, YOU KNOW?
00:44:07.200 --> 00:44:10.030
- LESLIE: OH, YEAH, WELL, WE'RE
00:44:10.030 --> 00:44:11.000
SHARING.
00:44:11.000 --> 00:44:11.150
WE'RE NOT TALKING.
00:44:11.150 --> 00:44:12.200
WE'RE SHARING.
00:44:12.200 --> 00:44:14.130
- LES: OH, I'M SORRY.
00:44:14.130 --> 00:44:15.010
[LAUGHTER]
00:44:15.010 --> 00:44:16.070
SORRY I MISSED THAT.
00:44:16.070 --> 00:44:16.230
BUT, YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T SEE
00:44:16.230 --> 00:44:19.220
GUYS LEANING IN, "HEY, HOW ABOUT
00:44:19.220 --> 00:44:20.160
THAT GAME?"
00:44:20.160 --> 00:44:21.060
[LAUGHTER]
00:44:21.060 --> 00:44:21.230
AND I'VE NOTICED THIS.
00:44:24.010 --> 00:44:27.010
I'VE MADE THIS, LIKE, A STUDY
00:44:27.010 --> 00:44:28.120
OUT OF IT.
00:44:28.120 --> 00:44:29.100
IF YOU WILL PAY ATTENTION AFTER
00:44:29.100 --> 00:44:31.220
THE SERVICE AT YOUR CHURCH,
00:44:31.220 --> 00:44:33.200
YOU'LL SEE WOMEN THAT ARE JUST
00:44:33.200 --> 00:44:35.190
HOLDING HANDS, AND IF YOU GO BY
00:44:35.190 --> 00:44:36.110
AND LISTEN, THEY'RE TALKING
00:44:36.110 --> 00:44:37.070
ABOUT STUPID STUFF AND--
00:44:37.080 --> 00:44:40.080
[LAUGHTER]
00:44:40.240 --> 00:44:43.240
FROM A GUY'S PERSPECTIVE, IT'S
00:44:43.240 --> 00:44:44.150
LIKE, "REALLY?
00:44:44.150 --> 00:44:46.050
YOU'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT
00:44:46.050 --> 00:44:46.250
HERE?"
00:44:46.250 --> 00:44:47.060
- LESLIE: YEAH, 'CAUSE WE'RE
00:44:47.060 --> 00:44:48.070
OPENING UP OUR HEARTS 'CAUSE OUR
00:44:48.070 --> 00:44:48.290
GOAL IS CONNECTION.
00:44:48.290 --> 00:44:50.090
SO WE DON'T NEED TO, YOU KNOW,
00:44:50.090 --> 00:44:52.200
SHARE INFORMATION.
00:44:52.200 --> 00:44:54.090
WE NEED TO HAVE OUR FEELINGS
00:44:54.090 --> 00:44:55.170
EXPRESSED.
00:44:57.280 --> 00:45:01.000
- LES: SO WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR
00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:01.220
REPORT, WHAT IT'S GONNA DO IS
00:45:01.220 --> 00:45:02.140
HELP YOU SEE HOW GOD DESIGNED
00:45:02.140 --> 00:45:03.050
IT'LL HELP YOU CRACK THE CODE OF
00:45:05.110 --> 00:45:06.030
YOUR PERSONAL TALK STYLES.
00:45:06.030 --> 00:45:07.020
NOW, ONE OF THE THINGS IT'LL DO
00:45:07.020 --> 00:45:07.240
IS HIGHLIGHT WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL
00:45:07.240 --> 00:45:09.020
EMOTIONALLY SAFE IN A
00:45:09.020 --> 00:45:10.000
CONVERSATION.
00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:11.100
I DON'T LIKE MY TIME TO BE
00:45:14.130 --> 00:45:15.070
WASTED, SO IF I FEEL LIKE A
00:45:15.070 --> 00:45:16.190
CONVERSATION IS WASTING MY TIME,
00:45:16.190 --> 00:45:18.260
I'M LIKE, "LET'S GET ON WITH
00:45:18.260 --> 00:45:19.180
THIS."
00:45:19.180 --> 00:45:20.000
- LESLIE: AND, FOR ME, IT'S ALL
00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:21.200
ABOUT WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.
00:45:21.200 --> 00:45:24.060
I NEED TO FEEL LIKE I'VE GOT THE
00:45:24.060 --> 00:45:25.050
APPROVAL AND THE BLESSING, AND
00:45:25.050 --> 00:45:26.200
IF YOU DO ANYTHING THAT
00:45:26.200 --> 00:45:28.180
COMMUNICATES TO ME, EVEN WITH MY
00:45:29.100 --> 00:45:32.100
INTUITION, THAT'S NOT THERE, I
00:45:32.100 --> 00:45:33.170
SHUT DOWN.
00:45:33.170 --> 00:45:34.020
- LES: YEAH, AND I CAN TELL
00:45:34.020 --> 00:45:35.090
YOU, ONE OF THE THINGS THAT'S
00:45:35.090 --> 00:45:36.250
IMPORTANT FOR YOU IS GOING TO BE
00:45:36.250 --> 00:45:39.190
LOYALTY.
00:45:40.020 --> 00:45:43.020
LIKE, IF YOU FEEL LIKE HE'S NOT
00:45:43.020 --> 00:45:43.240
WITH YOU, ON YOUR TEAM, AND
00:45:43.240 --> 00:45:45.130
BEING SUPPORTIVE IN THAT, THAT'S
00:45:45.130 --> 00:45:47.160
WHEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE NOT VERY
00:45:47.160 --> 00:45:48.130
GOOD CONVERSATIONS.
00:45:48.130 --> 00:45:49.010
- LAURIE: MM-HMM.
00:45:49.010 --> 00:45:50.070
- LES: YOU GOTTA FEEL THAT HE'S
00:45:50.070 --> 00:45:50.290
WITH YOU ON THAT.
00:45:50.290 --> 00:45:51.140
[LAUGHTER]
00:45:52.260 --> 00:45:55.260
LITTLE RAW NERVE?
00:45:55.260 --> 00:45:56.190
- LAURIE: THAT WAS GREAT.
00:45:56.190 --> 00:45:57.250
- LES: YEAH, ALL RIGHT SO--
00:45:57.250 --> 00:45:58.270
- MATT: LET'S GO TO A
00:45:58.270 --> 00:45:59.200
COMMERCIAL.
00:45:59.200 --> 00:46:00.210
[LAUGHTER]
00:46:00.210 --> 00:46:02.140
THE BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT IS
00:46:02.140 --> 00:46:05.020
WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, AND
00:46:05.020 --> 00:46:06.180
LET ME JUST SAY THIS: THERE'S
00:46:06.180 --> 00:46:08.180
BEEN A COUPLE OF TIMES THAT
00:46:08.180 --> 00:46:09.080
WE'VE DONE THESE, THAT LAURIE
00:46:09.080 --> 00:46:11.010
WE'VE JUST COMPLETED THIS ONE--
00:46:13.260 --> 00:46:14.180
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT
00:46:14.180 --> 00:46:15.100
TONIGHT-- BUT THAT I ACTUALLY
00:46:15.100 --> 00:46:16.010
LEARNED THINGS THAT I DID NOT
00:46:16.010 --> 00:46:18.100
KNOW.
00:46:18.100 --> 00:46:19.060
- LAURIE: IT'S ALL SO GOOD.
00:46:19.060 --> 00:46:20.070
- MATT: IT WAS AMAZING.
00:46:20.070 --> 00:46:21.120
THE BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT--
00:46:21.120 --> 00:46:23.240
- ANNOUNCER: DO YOU WANT THE
00:46:26.140 --> 00:46:27.050
VERY BEST FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
00:46:27.050 --> 00:46:28.170
DO YOU WANNA GO BENEATH THE
00:46:28.170 --> 00:46:29.280
THEN JOIN
00:46:32.140 --> 00:46:32.270
DRS. LES AND LESLIE PARROTT,
00:46:32.270 --> 00:46:33.290
RENOWNED PSYCHOLOGIST,
00:46:33.290 --> 00:46:35.150
MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST,
00:46:35.150 --> 00:46:36.120
AND NUMBER ONE "NEW YORK TIMES"
00:46:36.120 --> 00:46:37.260
BEST-SELLING AUTHORS
00:46:37.260 --> 00:46:39.140
IT ALL BEGINS WHEN YOU ANSWER
00:46:46.110 --> 00:46:47.020
JUST A FEW QUESTIONS WITH THE
00:46:47.020 --> 00:46:47.230
BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT.
00:46:47.230 --> 00:46:48.150
IT'S EASIER THAN YOU THINK, AND
00:46:48.150 --> 00:46:49.150
DID WE MENTION IT'S FUN?
00:46:49.150 --> 00:46:50.030
WE'LL GIVE YOU A PERSONALIZED
00:46:50.030 --> 00:46:51.250
ACTION PLAN CUSTOMIZED FOR THE
00:46:51.250 --> 00:46:53.140
TWO OF YOU.
00:46:53.140 --> 00:46:54.140
YOU'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED
00:46:54.140 --> 00:46:56.040
ANYTHING QUITE LIKE THIS BEFORE.
00:46:56.040 --> 00:46:57.110
ENJOY BETTER CONVERSATIONS,
00:46:57.110 --> 00:46:59.050
BETTER INTIMACY, AND BETTER
00:46:59.050 --> 00:47:01.050
PASSION, STARTING TODAY.
00:47:01.120 --> 00:47:04.120
IT ALL BEGINS WHEN YOU TAKE THE
00:47:04.120 --> 00:47:05.060
BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT.
00:47:05.060 --> 00:47:06.150
WITH YOU BY MY SIDE,
00:47:06.150 --> 00:47:07.280
THERE'S NO PLACE
00:47:07.280 --> 00:47:09.110
THAT WE CAN'T GO
00:47:11.160 --> 00:47:14.160
THIS IS THE START OF SOMETHIG
00:47:14.160 --> 00:47:17.150
BEAUTIFUL
00:47:19.190 --> 00:47:22.190
[APPLAUSE]
00:47:22.190 --> 00:47:25.130
ALL THE INFORMATION ABOUT THE
00:47:27.140 --> 00:47:28.050
BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT IS ON THE
00:47:28.050 --> 00:47:30.150
SCREEN.
00:47:30.150 --> 00:47:32.000
WE'VE GOT A WHOLE KIND OF THING
00:47:32.000 --> 00:47:33.220
SET UP FOR YOU.
00:47:33.220 --> 00:47:36.150
ALL THE INFORMATION ON THE
00:47:36.150 --> 00:47:37.190
SCREEN, GO TO IT RIGHT NOW.
00:47:37.190 --> 00:47:38.260
WE'VE GOT A DISCOUNT BUILT IN
00:47:38.260 --> 00:47:41.190
THAT IS FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.
00:47:44.080 --> 00:47:45.190
DO IT.
00:47:45.190 --> 00:47:46.100
GET THIS DONE.
00:47:46.100 --> 00:47:49.000
- LAURIE: THIS BOOK IS AMAZING.
00:47:49.000 --> 00:47:49.250
- MATT: YEAH, AND, BY THE WAY,
00:47:49.250 --> 00:47:51.210
"LOVE LIKE THAT," I'VE BEEN
00:47:51.210 --> 00:47:53.040
READING THIS BOOK OVER JUST THE
00:47:53.040 --> 00:47:54.270
LAST FEW DAYS, AND, YOU KNOW,
00:47:54.270 --> 00:47:56.080
NOT ONLY IS DR. LES A NUMBER ONE
00:47:56.110 --> 00:47:59.110
"NEW YORK TIMES" BEST-SELLING
00:47:59.130 --> 00:48:02.150
AUTHOR, BUT THESE "5
00:48:02.150 --> 00:48:04.140
RELATIONSHIP SECRETS FROM
00:48:04.140 --> 00:48:05.140
JESUS," "LOVE LIKE THAT," ISN'T
00:48:05.140 --> 00:48:06.200
ABOUT JUST YOUR SPOUSE.
00:48:08.090 --> 00:48:11.090
IT'S ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS WITH
00:48:11.090 --> 00:48:12.000
ANYBODY IN GENERAL.
00:48:12.020 --> 00:48:15.020
THIS IS AN AMAZING BOOK.
00:48:15.020 --> 00:48:17.070
IN FACT, YOU EXPLAIN A COUPLE OF
00:48:17.070 --> 00:48:19.190
THE PARABLES THAT JESUS TOLD IN
00:48:20.150 --> 00:48:23.150
CONTEXT AND ALL THAT.
00:48:23.150 --> 00:48:25.040
THAT WAS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL, LES.
00:48:25.040 --> 00:48:25.290
I MEAN, HONESTLY, THIS IS ONE OF
00:48:25.290 --> 00:48:26.270
THE BEST BOOKS I HAVE EVER READ.
00:48:27.030 --> 00:48:30.030
- LES: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, SAY
00:48:30.030 --> 00:48:30.240
THAT AGAIN?
00:48:30.240 --> 00:48:31.060
- MATT: OKAY, LISTEN--
00:48:31.060 --> 00:48:32.010
[LAUGHTER]
00:48:32.010 --> 00:48:32.140
I SAID IT.
00:48:32.140 --> 00:48:34.220
I SAID IT.
00:48:34.220 --> 00:48:35.080
- LAURIE: AND I HOPE HE'S
00:48:35.080 --> 00:48:36.040
GETTIN' SOMETHIN' OUT OF IT.
00:48:36.040 --> 00:48:36.240
- MATT: I'VE SAID IT SEVERAL
00:48:36.240 --> 00:48:37.150
TIMES.
00:48:37.150 --> 00:48:38.230
WE DON'T EVEN HAVE THIS BOOK FOR
00:48:38.230 --> 00:48:40.170
OFFER OR ANYTHING, BUT IT'S
00:48:40.170 --> 00:48:42.070
JUST--
00:48:42.070 --> 00:48:43.000
- LAURIE: NO, IT'S AMAZING.
00:48:43.000 --> 00:48:43.200
- MATT: GET THIS BOOK.
00:48:43.200 --> 00:48:44.110
IT'S ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS I'VE
00:48:44.110 --> 00:48:45.090
EVER READ, SERIOUSLY.
00:48:45.090 --> 00:48:47.280
- LES: THEY CAN FIND IT AT OUR
00:48:47.280 --> 00:48:48.200
- MATT: YEAH, ON THE WEBSITE OR
00:48:50.270 --> 00:48:52.240
GO TO AMAZON.
00:48:52.240 --> 00:48:53.100
- LES: CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING
00:48:53.100 --> 00:48:54.020
REAL QUICK ABOUT THAT?
00:48:54.020 --> 00:48:54.200
THAT IS THE RESULT OF A PERSONAL
00:48:54.200 --> 00:48:55.120
QUEST THAT I HAVE HAD FOR YEARS
00:48:55.120 --> 00:48:57.020
TO UNDERSTAND LOVE AT THE
00:48:57.020 --> 00:48:58.100
HIGHEST LEVEL, LIKE YOU SAID,
00:48:58.100 --> 00:49:00.050
NOT JUST IN A MARRIAGE
00:49:00.050 --> 00:49:01.090
RELATIONSHIP, BUT HOW DO YOU
00:49:01.090 --> 00:49:02.170
AND I REMEMBERED, SPECIFICALLY,
00:49:04.240 --> 00:49:06.110
I WAS ON AN AIRPLANE, AND I WAS
00:49:06.110 --> 00:49:07.100
READING EPHESIANS, AND I CAME TO
00:49:07.100 --> 00:49:08.130
THAT PASSAGE IN EPHESIANS
00:49:08.130 --> 00:49:09.260
CHAPTER 5, WHERE PAUL IS TALKING
00:49:09.280 --> 00:49:12.280
ABOUT "THIS IS HOW JESUS LOVES."
00:49:12.280 --> 00:49:14.130
AND THEN AT THE END OF THIS
00:49:14.130 --> 00:49:15.230
PARAGRAPH WHERE HE DESCRIBES HOW
00:49:15.230 --> 00:49:16.240
JESUS LOVES, THOSE THREE WORDS,
00:49:16.240 --> 00:49:17.160
"LOVE LIKE THAT."
00:49:17.160 --> 00:49:19.210
AND I REMEMBER PUTTING
00:49:19.210 --> 00:49:21.030
MY BIBLE DOWN AND JUST
00:49:21.030 --> 00:49:22.160
GOING, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
00:49:22.160 --> 00:49:24.190
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?
00:49:24.190 --> 00:49:25.100
LIKE, IS THAT EVEN REALISTIC?
00:49:25.100 --> 00:49:26.100
HOW CAN I POSSIBLY--" WELL, OF
00:49:26.100 --> 00:49:28.000
COURSE, IT'S WHAT THE HOLY
00:49:28.000 --> 00:49:30.030
SPIRIT HELPS US DO.
00:49:30.030 --> 00:49:31.140
IT'S DOABLE, BUT I WANTED TO
00:49:31.140 --> 00:49:32.260
KNOW FROM, REALLY, A
00:49:32.260 --> 00:49:34.180
PRACTITIONER'S PERSPECTIVE, A
00:49:34.180 --> 00:49:36.050
PSYCHOLOGIST'S PERSPECTIVE, HOW
00:49:36.050 --> 00:49:37.180
DO YOU LOVE LIKE JESUS?
00:49:37.180 --> 00:49:39.030
AND SO I STUDIED THE PARABLES,
00:49:39.030 --> 00:49:41.030
JESUS' TEACHING, AS WELL AS
00:49:41.030 --> 00:49:42.240
SALIENT LIFE EXAMPLES THAT, YOU
00:49:42.240 --> 00:49:45.070
KNOW, WE KNOW FROM THE GOSPELS,
00:49:45.070 --> 00:49:46.260
AND WHERE THOSE KIND OF
00:49:46.260 --> 00:49:49.050
CRISSCROSS, I FOUND FIVE THINGS,
00:49:49.050 --> 00:49:51.180
PRACTICAL THINGS, THAT YOU CAN
00:49:51.180 --> 00:49:53.050
DO TO LOVE LIKE JESUS, AND SO
00:49:53.050 --> 00:49:54.280
THAT'S REALLY WHAT THAT BOOK IS
00:49:54.280 --> 00:49:55.220
ABOUT.
00:49:55.220 --> 00:49:56.100
- LAURIE: YEAH, I LOVE IT.
00:49:56.100 --> 00:49:57.000
"MINDFUL, APPROACHABLE,
00:49:57.000 --> 00:49:58.000
GRACEFUL, BOLD, AND
00:49:58.000 --> 00:49:59.160
SELF-GIVING."
00:49:59.160 --> 00:50:01.090
SO BEAUTIFUL.
00:50:01.090 --> 00:50:01.220
- MATT: THE SELF-GIVING CHAPTER
00:50:01.220 --> 00:50:03.230
THAT I WAS FLIPPING TO, THE
00:50:04.120 --> 00:50:07.120
SELF-GIVING, YOU START THAT
00:50:07.120 --> 00:50:08.210
CHAPTER BY SAYING, "THIS IS THE
00:50:08.210 --> 00:50:10.110
ONE THAT I DIDN'T WANNA WRITE."
00:50:12.280 --> 00:50:15.280
[LAUGHTER]
00:50:15.280 --> 00:50:16.130
- LES: YEAH, I KEPT PUTTING IT
00:50:16.130 --> 00:50:17.050
OFF.
00:50:17.050 --> 00:50:17.130
- MATT: "I KEPT PUTTING IT OFF.
00:50:17.130 --> 00:50:18.050
I KEPT DOING ALL THAT."
00:50:18.050 --> 00:50:18.230
AND, SERIOUSLY,
00:50:18.230 --> 00:50:19.190
IT'S ONE OF THE MOST
00:50:19.190 --> 00:50:20.270
AMAZING BOOKS I'VE EVER READ,
00:50:20.270 --> 00:50:22.090
AND I, YOU KNOW--
00:50:23.200 --> 00:50:26.200
- LAURIE: YEAH, IT'S TRUE.
00:50:26.200 --> 00:50:27.110
- MATT: LOOK, GET IT, OKAY.
00:50:27.110 --> 00:50:28.020
[LAUGHTER]
00:50:28.020 --> 00:50:28.140
- LES: THANK YOU.
00:50:28.140 --> 00:50:29.010
- MATT: OKAY, WE GOT A COUPLE
00:50:29.010 --> 00:50:29.220
OF MINUTES LEFT.
00:50:29.220 --> 00:50:30.080
WHAT ELSE DID YOU LEARN THAT
00:50:30.080 --> 00:50:31.100
WILL FIX LAURIE?
00:50:32.070 --> 00:50:35.070
[LAUGHTER]
00:50:37.070 --> 00:50:40.070
- LES: NOT A THING.
00:50:40.070 --> 00:50:40.250
[LAUGHTER]
00:50:40.250 --> 00:50:41.240
- LAURIE: HOPELESS.
00:50:42.150 --> 00:50:45.150
- LES: BUT HERE'S SOMETHING
00:50:45.150 --> 00:50:46.070
INTERESTING.
00:50:46.070 --> 00:50:47.060
ONE OF THE PAGES IN THE BETTER
00:50:47.060 --> 00:50:48.130
LOVE ASSESSMENT IS DEVOTED TO
00:50:48.130 --> 00:50:49.210
TIME, AND TIME IS THE SECOND
00:50:49.210 --> 00:50:52.040
BIGGEST COMPLAINT THAT COUPLES
00:50:52.040 --> 00:50:54.110
HAVE IN A RELATIONSHIP.
00:50:54.110 --> 00:50:56.150
THE FIRST IS COMMUNICATION-- WE
00:50:56.150 --> 00:50:57.070
JUST DON'T TALK THE WAY WE WANT
00:50:57.070 --> 00:50:58.050
TO-- AND THE SECOND IS TIME.
00:50:58.050 --> 00:50:59.060
- LESLIE: YEAH, IT'S ALL ABOUT,
00:50:59.060 --> 00:51:00.120
YOU KNOW, "I FEEL LIKE WE JUST
00:51:00.120 --> 00:51:01.140
DON'T GET ENOUGH TIME TOGETHER,"
00:51:01.140 --> 00:51:03.010
AND SO WE REALLY WANTED TO
00:51:03.010 --> 00:51:04.130
HELP-- WANTED TO UNDERSTAND IT
00:51:04.130 --> 00:51:06.100
OURSELVES 'CAUSE, HONESTLY,
00:51:06.100 --> 00:51:08.040
THAT'S A BIG ISSUE FOR US-- AND
00:51:08.040 --> 00:51:09.060
HELP COUPLES UNDERSTAND HOW CAN
00:51:09.060 --> 00:51:10.240
THEY RECAPTURE, YOU KNOW, THE
00:51:10.240 --> 00:51:13.030
MOMENTS THEY'RE MISSING OUT ON
00:51:13.030 --> 00:51:13.290
TOGETHER.
00:51:13.290 --> 00:51:14.230
A HUGE PART OF THAT IS
00:51:14.230 --> 00:51:16.090
UNDERSTANDING HOW WE'RE
00:51:16.090 --> 00:51:17.290
HARDWIRED TO EXPERIENCE TIME
00:51:17.290 --> 00:51:19.230
BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE A DIFFERENT
00:51:19.230 --> 00:51:21.170
STYLE OF EVEN RELATING TO TIME.
00:51:21.170 --> 00:51:23.180
- LES: YEAH, AND GOD DESIGNED
00:51:23.180 --> 00:51:25.170
EACH OF US UNIQUELY, JUST LIKE
00:51:25.170 --> 00:51:27.100
HE DID FOR COMMUNICATION AND
00:51:27.100 --> 00:51:28.090
CONFLICT, ALSO TO EXPERIENCE
00:51:28.090 --> 00:51:29.110
TIME.
00:51:29.110 --> 00:51:30.080
SO ARE YOU PRESENT-ORIENTED OR
00:51:30.080 --> 00:51:32.000
FUTURE-ORIENTED?
00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:33.150
NOW, I KNOW FROM THIS, YOU'RE
00:51:33.150 --> 00:51:34.190
ALL ABOUT THE FUTURE, JUST LIKE
00:51:34.190 --> 00:51:36.100
I AM.
00:51:36.100 --> 00:51:37.050
LESLIE SAYS I'M A VISITOR FROM
00:51:37.050 --> 00:51:38.140
THE FUTURE.
00:51:38.140 --> 00:51:39.030
I LOVE THE FUTURE.
00:51:39.030 --> 00:51:40.050
I LOVE PLANNING ALL THAT.
00:51:40.050 --> 00:51:41.030
- LESLIE: YOU TWO AREN'T EVEN
00:51:41.030 --> 00:51:42.270
HERE RIGHT NOW.
00:51:42.270 --> 00:51:43.130
[LAUGHTER]
00:51:43.130 --> 00:51:43.260
- MATT: THAT'S INTERESTING THAT
00:51:43.260 --> 00:51:45.150
I WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE.
00:51:45.150 --> 00:51:47.280
GO AHEAD.
00:51:47.280 --> 00:51:48.140
[LAUGHTER]
00:51:48.140 --> 00:51:49.120
- LES: WHERE AM I?
00:51:49.120 --> 00:51:51.170
AND, BY THE WAY, BOTH OF YOU ARE
00:51:51.170 --> 00:51:53.070
PRESENT-ORIENTED.
00:51:53.070 --> 00:51:54.070
- LESLIE & LAURIE: YEAH, YES.
00:51:54.070 --> 00:51:56.220
- LESLIE: I'M ALL ABOUT THE
00:51:56.220 --> 00:51:57.130
HERE AND NOW.
00:51:57.130 --> 00:51:58.090
I GET ALL MY ENERGY FROM BEING
00:51:58.090 --> 00:52:01.060
FULLY PRESENT.
00:52:01.060 --> 00:52:01.200
I'M WITH WHO I'M WITH, AND
00:52:01.200 --> 00:52:03.290
THAT'S ALL I'M THINKING ABOUT.
00:52:03.290 --> 00:52:04.200
I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT TOMORROW
00:52:04.200 --> 00:52:05.150
OR FIVE YEARS FROM NOW, AND,
00:52:05.150 --> 00:52:06.050
YEAH.
00:52:06.050 --> 00:52:07.210
- LES: AND YOU'RE NOT SCHEDULED
00:52:07.210 --> 00:52:08.130
EITHER.
00:52:08.130 --> 00:52:08.230
I'M SCHEDULED, AND YOU'RE
00:52:08.230 --> 00:52:09.260
UNSCHEDULED.
00:52:09.260 --> 00:52:11.080
AND YOU'RE SCHEDULED.
00:52:11.080 --> 00:52:12.170
YOU'RE WHAT WE CALL A
00:52:12.170 --> 00:52:15.140
"PROCESSOR," 41%.
00:52:15.140 --> 00:52:16.240
THERE'S THIS LITTLE GRID.
00:52:16.240 --> 00:52:17.190
GIVES YOU SOME PARAGRAPHS DOWN
00:52:17.190 --> 00:52:18.100
HERE, BUT YOU'RE 41% A
00:52:18.100 --> 00:52:20.140
PROCESSOR.
00:52:20.140 --> 00:52:21.180
AND, BY THE WAY, THERE'S NOT A
00:52:21.180 --> 00:52:23.000
BAD ONE OR A GOOD ONE.
00:52:23.000 --> 00:52:24.110
THEY'RE ALL JUST UNIQUE.
00:52:24.110 --> 00:52:25.240
THAT'S HOW GOD MADE US, RIGHT?
00:52:25.240 --> 00:52:26.150
SO LESLIE IS AN "ACCOMMODATOR."
00:52:26.150 --> 00:52:29.090
I'M A "PLANNER."
00:52:29.090 --> 00:52:29.290
YOU'RE A "DREAMER."
00:52:29.290 --> 00:52:32.080
- LESLIE: AND YOU'RE A
00:52:32.080 --> 00:52:32.260
"PROCESSOR."
00:52:32.260 --> 00:52:33.080
WE GOT IT ALL COVERED.
00:52:33.080 --> 00:52:34.000
- LAURIE: YEAH, WE GOT IT
00:52:34.000 --> 00:52:34.190
COVERED, POWER TEAM.
00:52:34.190 --> 00:52:35.150
- LES: BUT I'LL GIVE YOU A
00:52:35.150 --> 00:52:36.050
QUICK EXAMPLE.
00:52:36.050 --> 00:52:36.270
LESLIE SAID, AS A PERSON THAT IS
00:52:36.270 --> 00:52:39.160
SUBJECTIVE WITH HER TIME, NOT
00:52:39.160 --> 00:52:40.270
SCHEDULED, SHE SAID JUST A
00:52:40.270 --> 00:52:42.200
LITTLE WHILE AGO-- DO YOU
00:52:42.200 --> 00:52:43.170
REMEMBER THIS?
00:52:43.170 --> 00:52:44.020
-- SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO
00:52:44.020 --> 00:52:44.210
STARBUCKS.
00:52:44.210 --> 00:52:45.080
I'LL GO GET A, YOU KNOW, CUP OF
00:52:45.080 --> 00:52:46.040
COFFEE."
00:52:46.040 --> 00:52:47.000
AND, BY THE WAY,
00:52:47.000 --> 00:52:47.290
I DON'T DRINK COFFEE.
00:52:47.290 --> 00:52:49.170
SHE DRINKS ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF
00:52:49.170 --> 00:52:50.080
US, BUT I WILL GO WITH HER TO
00:52:50.080 --> 00:52:51.060
STARBUCKS AND GET SOMETHIN' ELSE
00:52:51.060 --> 00:52:52.020
AND--
00:52:52.020 --> 00:52:54.100
- LESLIE: STEAMED MILK.
00:52:54.100 --> 00:52:54.290
- LES: YES, THAT'S WHAT I GET.
00:52:54.290 --> 00:52:55.220
AND SO I SAID, "WE DON'T HAVE
00:52:55.220 --> 00:52:56.270
TIME TO GO DOWN THERE," AND SHE
00:52:56.270 --> 00:52:58.080
SAID, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
00:52:58.080 --> 00:52:59.100
IT'S LIKE FIVE MINUTES FROM
00:52:59.100 --> 00:53:00.060
HERE."
00:53:00.060 --> 00:53:00.240
I SAID, "NO, IT'S LIKE
00:53:00.240 --> 00:53:01.240
25 MINUTES FROM HERE."
00:53:01.240 --> 00:53:03.000
AND SHE'LL SAY,
00:53:03.000 --> 00:53:04.030
"WELL, IT FEELS LIKE
00:53:04.030 --> 00:53:05.000
FIVE MINUTES."
00:53:05.000 --> 00:53:05.130
[LAUGHTER]
00:53:05.130 --> 00:53:07.270
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE.
00:53:07.270 --> 00:53:08.190
IT'S 25 MINUTES, YOU KNOW?
00:53:08.190 --> 00:53:09.140
[LAUGHTER]
00:53:09.140 --> 00:53:10.120
AND SO BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT-- IF
00:53:10.120 --> 00:53:12.180
YOU'RE SUBJECTIVE WITH YOUR
00:53:12.180 --> 00:53:13.250
TIME-- AND SHE'S A BUSY WOMAN.
00:53:13.250 --> 00:53:15.220
HER PLATE IS FULL, BUT IF YOU
00:53:15.220 --> 00:53:17.110
ASK HER FOR, "HEY, CAN WE MEET
00:53:17.110 --> 00:53:19.100
NEXT THURSDAY AT 3 O'CLOCK?"
00:53:19.100 --> 00:53:20.220
SHE DOESN'T LOOK AT A CALENDAR.
00:53:20.220 --> 00:53:22.040
SHE KIND OF LOOKS UP INTO THE
00:53:22.040 --> 00:53:24.000
HEAVENS FOR A MINUTE AND GOES,
00:53:24.000 --> 00:53:24.210
"YEAH, THAT FEELS GOOD."
00:53:24.210 --> 00:53:26.260
[LAUGHTER]
00:53:26.260 --> 00:53:27.100
"OKAY, WE CAN DO THAT," RIGHT?
00:53:27.100 --> 00:53:28.170
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
00:53:28.170 --> 00:53:29.090
SHE'S SUBJECTIVE.
00:53:29.090 --> 00:53:29.250
- LESLIE: WELL, IT'S CALLED
00:53:29.250 --> 00:53:30.230
"ACCOMMODATOR" BECAUSE I'M ALL
00:53:30.230 --> 00:53:31.280
ABOUT THE PRESENT, AND I'M
00:53:31.280 --> 00:53:33.060
SUBJECTIVE, UNSCHEDULED, BECAUSE
00:53:33.060 --> 00:53:35.140
I WANNA BE ABLE TO MAKE SPACE
00:53:35.140 --> 00:53:37.010
RIGHT NOW FOR WHATEVER IS FUN IN
00:53:37.010 --> 00:53:38.150
THE MOMENT.
00:53:38.150 --> 00:53:39.190
I DON'T WANNA BE HEMMED IN BY A
00:53:39.190 --> 00:53:40.220
SCHEDULED.
00:53:40.220 --> 00:53:42.250
- LES: THIS IS A GOOD EXAMPLE
00:53:42.250 --> 00:53:43.170
OF AWARENESS.
00:53:43.170 --> 00:53:44.030
WE STARTED AT THE TOP OF THE
00:53:44.030 --> 00:53:44.250
SHOW, TALKING ABOUT AWARENESS.
00:53:44.250 --> 00:53:45.230
- MATT: KNOWING WHAT SETS OFF
00:53:45.230 --> 00:53:47.250
SOMEBODY OR THE WAY THEY ARE
00:53:47.250 --> 00:53:50.150
NATURALLY AND ALL OF THAT COMES
00:53:50.150 --> 00:53:53.090
TO LIGHT.
00:53:53.090 --> 00:53:53.260
- LES: AND SO NOW, ONCE YOU
00:53:53.260 --> 00:53:54.170
BECOME AWARE OF YOUR TIME-STYLES
00:53:54.170 --> 00:53:55.120
TOGETHER THROUGH THIS BETTER
00:53:55.120 --> 00:53:56.130
LOVE ASSESSMENT, YOU NOW CAN
00:53:56.130 --> 00:53:58.270
LEVERAGE THAT SO THAT YOU'RE
00:53:58.270 --> 00:54:00.190
RECLAIMING THE MOMENTS YOU'VE
00:54:00.190 --> 00:54:01.290
BEEN MISSING TOGETHER AS A
00:54:01.290 --> 00:54:03.090
COUPLE.
00:54:03.090 --> 00:54:03.280
- LESLIE: IT'S SO POWERFUL.
00:54:03.280 --> 00:54:04.260
- MATT: I LEARNED AT ONE POINT
00:54:04.260 --> 00:54:06.130
THAT, IF WE'RE IN A BIG GROUP,
00:54:06.130 --> 00:54:09.060
LAURIE MIGHT BE FOUND, KIND OF,
00:54:09.060 --> 00:54:11.200
OFF IN A SMALLER GROUP-- SO THAT
00:54:12.020 --> 00:54:15.020
I'M MORE PEOPLE-ENERGIZED.
00:54:15.020 --> 00:54:16.240
I LIKE BEING IN AND AMONGST, BUT
00:54:16.240 --> 00:54:18.270
IT IS-- I'M, IN ESSENCE,
00:54:18.270 --> 00:54:21.160
PEOPLE-ENERGIZED.
00:54:21.160 --> 00:54:22.050
SHE'S MORE PEOPLE-DRAINED, OR
00:54:22.050 --> 00:54:24.090
THAT DRAINS HER ENERGY, AND SO
00:54:24.090 --> 00:54:26.070
BUT THEN WHAT I FOUND OUT
00:54:29.100 --> 00:54:30.150
THROUGH THIS ASSESSMENT IS THAT
00:54:31.280 --> 00:54:34.280
SHE WOULD LIKELY BE ABLE TO
00:54:34.280 --> 00:54:36.180
CAPTURE A MORE DEPTH OF A
00:54:36.180 --> 00:54:39.090
RELATIONSHIP IN A SMALLER GROUP,
00:54:39.090 --> 00:54:41.220
AND THAT'S WHAT SHE'S MORE
00:54:41.220 --> 00:54:42.200
ABOUT.
00:54:42.200 --> 00:54:44.060
- LES: AND YOUR AWARENESS OF
00:54:44.060 --> 00:54:45.070
THAT GIVES YOU AN ON-RAMP FOR
00:54:45.070 --> 00:54:47.040
BETTER EMPATHY FOR LAURIE, AND
00:54:47.040 --> 00:54:48.060
THAT'S WHAT THIS--
00:54:48.060 --> 00:54:50.160
- MATT: TO AT LEAST UNDERSTAND
00:54:50.160 --> 00:54:51.080
THAT SHE'S NOT DISINTERESTED,
00:54:51.080 --> 00:54:53.010
SO THAT SHE DOESN'T GET THE
00:54:53.010 --> 00:54:55.000
SARCASTIC CLAP ON THE
00:54:55.000 --> 00:54:55.170
WAY OUT, YOU KNOW.
00:54:55.170 --> 00:54:57.050
[LAUGHTER]
00:54:57.050 --> 00:54:58.050
- LESLIE: SHE'S ACTUALLY BEING
00:54:58.050 --> 00:54:58.270
DRAWN TO WHAT FITS WHO GOD
00:54:58.270 --> 00:55:00.170
CREATED HER TO BE AND USING
00:55:00.170 --> 00:55:02.000
THAT.
00:55:02.000 --> 00:55:03.220
- LES: THAT'S A PRIME EXAMPLE
00:55:03.220 --> 00:55:04.250
OF HOW AWARENESS LEADS TO DEEPER
00:55:04.250 --> 00:55:05.270
EMPATHY, AND THAT'S WHAT I WISH
00:55:05.270 --> 00:55:07.240
WE COULD GIVE TO EVERYBODY
00:55:07.240 --> 00:55:09.020
THAT'S TUNED IN RIGHT NOW IS
00:55:09.020 --> 00:55:11.060
THAT GIFT OF BETTER LOVE TO
00:55:11.060 --> 00:55:12.080
EXPERIENCE THAT IN THEIR
00:55:12.080 --> 00:55:13.070
WHETHER THEY'RE MOVING FROM BAD
00:55:16.280 --> 00:55:17.200
TO BETTER, OR GOOD TO GREAT.
00:55:17.200 --> 00:55:18.100
DO YOU KNOW WHAT A "BHAG" IS?
00:55:18.100 --> 00:55:19.110
I'M SURE YOU DO: "A BIG HAIRY
00:55:19.110 --> 00:55:20.190
AUDACIOUS GOAL," RIGHT?
00:55:20.190 --> 00:55:23.110
[LAUGHTER]
00:55:23.110 --> 00:55:23.260
HERE'S OURS: WE WANNA SEE THE
00:55:23.260 --> 00:55:25.090
DIVORCE RATE REDUCED IN LOCAL
00:55:25.090 --> 00:55:27.190
CHURCHES BY A THIRD IN OUR
00:55:27.190 --> 00:55:29.100
LIFETIME.
00:55:29.100 --> 00:55:31.290
- MATT: BEAUTIFUL.
00:55:31.290 --> 00:55:32.150
- LES: NOW, CAN YOU IMAGINE
00:55:32.150 --> 00:55:33.110
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?
00:55:33.110 --> 00:55:33.260
DO YOU KNOW THAT, FOR EVERY
00:55:33.260 --> 00:55:34.160
SINGLE PERCENTAGE POINT THAT WE
00:55:34.160 --> 00:55:35.190
DROP THE DIVORCE RATE, THE LIVES
00:55:35.190 --> 00:55:37.020
OF MORE THAN A MILLION CHILDREN
00:55:37.020 --> 00:55:38.070
ARE POSITIVELY IMPACTED?
00:55:38.070 --> 00:55:40.010
[APPLAUSE]
00:55:40.010 --> 00:55:41.120
- MATT: OH, MY GOODNESS.
00:55:41.120 --> 00:55:42.020
- LES: THINK ABOUT THAT, YEAH.
00:55:42.020 --> 00:55:43.070
SO THINK ABOUT THE RIPPLE EFFECT
00:55:44.090 --> 00:55:47.090
THAT WOULD HAVE IN THE CHURCH
00:55:47.090 --> 00:55:49.150
'CAUSE, RIGHT NOW, WE'RE NOT
00:55:49.150 --> 00:55:50.200
DOIN' ANY BETTER THAN ANYBODY
00:55:50.200 --> 00:55:51.260
ELSE, REALLY, OUT THERE, WHEN IT
00:55:51.260 --> 00:55:53.020
COMES TO MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE,
00:55:53.020 --> 00:55:54.080
AND SO, IF WE COULD DO THAT, IT
00:55:54.080 --> 00:55:56.270
WOULD HAVE A RIPPLE EFFECT FOR
00:55:56.270 --> 00:55:57.280
GENERATIONS.
00:55:57.280 --> 00:55:58.280
I THINK IT WOULD BE ONE OF THE
00:55:58.280 --> 00:56:00.050
GREATEST SOCIAL REVOLUTIONS THE
00:56:00.050 --> 00:56:01.220
CHURCH HAS EVER SEEN, CERTAINLY,
00:56:01.220 --> 00:56:03.130
IN MODERN TIMES, AND SO THAT'S
00:56:03.130 --> 00:56:04.180
WHAT DRIVES US.
00:56:04.180 --> 00:56:06.050
THAT'S OUR PASSION.
00:56:06.050 --> 00:56:07.100
THAT'S WHY WE ARE OBSESSED WITH
00:56:07.100 --> 00:56:08.200
BETTER LOVE.
00:56:08.200 --> 00:56:09.120
- LAURIE: WE'RE IN WITH THAT.
00:56:09.120 --> 00:56:10.280
- MATT: ABSOLUTELY.
00:56:10.280 --> 00:56:11.240
JUST DO ME A FAVOR.
00:56:11.240 --> 00:56:13.040
BOTH YOU GUYS, WE GOT A MINUTE
00:56:13.040 --> 00:56:15.070
OR SO.
00:56:15.070 --> 00:56:15.240
JUST, THERE'S THE CAMERA RIGHT
00:56:15.240 --> 00:56:17.040
OVER THERE, WHICHEVER ONE THEY
00:56:17.040 --> 00:56:18.040
POINT.
00:56:18.040 --> 00:56:18.210
JUST, TELL THE PEOPLE TO GET THE
00:56:18.210 --> 00:56:19.270
ASSESSMENT, AND WHY.
00:56:19.270 --> 00:56:21.230
I MEAN, JUST GET IT.
00:56:21.230 --> 00:56:23.090
- LES: YEAH, SO IF YOU'RE
00:56:23.090 --> 00:56:24.200
THINKIN', "WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF
00:56:24.200 --> 00:56:26.080
I WANNA INVEST IN THIS," LET ME
00:56:26.080 --> 00:56:27.190
JUST TELL YOU SOMETHIN'.
00:56:27.190 --> 00:56:28.070
THE COST IS PRETTY MINISCULE.
00:56:30.200 --> 00:56:31.110
IT'S BASICALLY THE PRICE OF A
00:56:31.110 --> 00:56:32.080
MEAL, AND IT'S AN INVESTMENT OF
00:56:32.080 --> 00:56:34.190
MAYBE 15 MINUTES OF YOUR TIME.
00:56:34.190 --> 00:56:36.140
HOW MUCH IS THAT INVESTMENT
00:56:36.150 --> 00:56:39.150
WORTH?
00:56:39.150 --> 00:56:41.000
A LIFETIME OF BETTER LOVE.
00:56:41.000 --> 00:56:43.210
WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANNA DO THAT?
00:56:43.210 --> 00:56:44.210
SO THAT'S WHY WE'RE PASSIONATE
00:56:44.210 --> 00:56:46.010
ABOUT THIS.
00:56:46.010 --> 00:56:46.280
WE WANT YOU TO ENJOY LOVE AT THE
00:56:46.280 --> 00:56:48.290
HIGHEST LEVELS.
00:56:48.290 --> 00:56:50.250
WE WANT YOU TO ENJOY THAT KIND
00:56:50.250 --> 00:56:52.070
OF INTIMACY AND CONNECTION
00:56:52.070 --> 00:56:54.150
BECAUSE, LIKE I SAID EARLIER,
00:56:54.150 --> 00:56:55.290
LIFE DOESN'T GET MUCH SWEETER
00:56:55.290 --> 00:56:57.180
WHEN YOU HAVE THAT WITH ANOTHER
00:56:57.180 --> 00:56:58.130
PERSON.
00:56:58.130 --> 00:56:58.270
- LESLIE: THAT'S RIGHT.
00:56:58.270 --> 00:56:59.210
- LAURIE: GOOD.
00:56:59.210 --> 00:57:00.140
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO COUPLES THAT
00:57:00.140 --> 00:57:01.220
ARE GETTING MARRIED?
00:57:01.220 --> 00:57:03.020
"YOU SPEND SO MUCH ON YOUR
00:57:06.060 --> 00:57:06.260
WEDDING, BUT YOU DON'T PUT THE
00:57:06.260 --> 00:57:07.210
TIME AND ENERGY INTO IT BEFORE
00:57:07.210 --> 00:57:08.120
YOU GET MARRIED."
00:57:08.120 --> 00:57:10.030
- LES: YEAH, SO SAVING YOUR
00:57:10.030 --> 00:57:11.000
MARRIAGE BEFORE IT STARTS,
00:57:11.000 --> 00:57:11.200
RIGHT?
00:57:11.200 --> 00:57:12.240
- LESLIE: YEAH, IT'S ALL ABOUT
00:57:12.240 --> 00:57:13.160
THAT BECAUSE WE REALIZE THAT WE
00:57:13.160 --> 00:57:14.080
WERE WORKING WITH SO MANY YOUNG
00:57:14.080 --> 00:57:15.080
COUPLES WHO WERE PLANNING FOR
00:57:15.080 --> 00:57:17.290
THE WEDDING DAY AND NOT PLANNING
00:57:17.290 --> 00:57:20.130
FOR THE LIFELONG RELATIONSHIP
00:57:20.130 --> 00:57:23.080
THAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT.
00:57:23.080 --> 00:57:24.070
- LES: AND SO IT'S NOT JUST
00:57:24.070 --> 00:57:25.000
ABOUT THE MATCH.
00:57:25.000 --> 00:57:25.230
IT'S ABOUT THE SKILLS THAT YOU
00:57:25.230 --> 00:57:26.200
CULTIVATE, AND WE CALL THEM
00:57:26.200 --> 00:57:28.020
"HONEYMOON HABITS," THE THINGS
00:57:28.020 --> 00:57:29.110
YOU DO IN THE FIRST YEAR OF THAT
00:57:29.110 --> 00:57:31.140
MARRIAGE TOGETHER, THEY'LL LAST
00:57:31.140 --> 00:57:32.190
FOR DECADES, SO YOU WANNA-- YOU
00:57:32.190 --> 00:57:34.110
KNOW, IF WE'RE EVER TALKING TO A
00:57:34.110 --> 00:57:36.190
GROUP OF ENGAGED COUPLES OR
00:57:36.190 --> 00:57:37.200
NEWLYWEDS, WE TELL 'EM, "CHOOSE
00:57:37.200 --> 00:57:39.040
YOUR RUTS CAREFULLY 'CAUSE
00:57:39.040 --> 00:57:40.220
YOU'RE GONNA BE IN 'EM FOR A
00:57:40.220 --> 00:57:41.200
LONG TIME," RIGHT?
00:57:41.200 --> 00:57:43.020
AND SO WE WANNA HELP THEM CARVE
00:57:43.020 --> 00:57:43.240
GROOVES INTO THAT RELATIONSHIP
00:57:43.240 --> 00:57:46.190
THAT ARE PRODUCTIVE AND POSITIVE
00:57:46.190 --> 00:57:47.120
AND GOD-HONORING.
00:57:48.050 --> 00:57:51.050
- LAURIE: BEAUTIFUL.
00:57:51.050 --> 00:57:51.220
- LESLIE: TO PREVENT THE PAIN
00:57:51.220 --> 00:57:52.140
AND MAXIMIZE THE JOY.
00:57:52.140 --> 00:57:53.010
- MATT: I LOVE THAT BECAUSE,
00:57:53.010 --> 00:57:53.270
YOU KNOW, AT SOME POINT, WHAT
00:57:53.280 --> 00:57:56.280
WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS
00:57:56.280 --> 00:57:57.270
ENTIRE BROADCAST IS JUST WHAT
00:57:57.270 --> 00:57:59.220
MAKES YOUR RELATIONSHIPS BETTER,
00:58:00.190 --> 00:58:03.190
WHAT MAKES THE RELATIONSHIP WITH
00:58:03.190 --> 00:58:05.180
YOUR SPOUSE OR WHAT MAKES YOUR
00:58:05.180 --> 00:58:07.270
RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR KIDS OR
00:58:07.270 --> 00:58:09.090
YOUR COWORKERS OR YOUR FAMILY
00:58:09.090 --> 00:58:10.200
MEMBERS, OR ALL THAT KIND OF
00:58:10.200 --> 00:58:11.250
STUFF-- THAT'S WHAT WE'RE
00:58:11.250 --> 00:58:12.230
TALKIN' ABOUT.
00:58:12.230 --> 00:58:13.140
ALL OF THESE ASSESSMENTS, ALL
00:58:13.140 --> 00:58:14.280
THE INFORMATION ABOUT THEM IS ON
00:58:14.280 --> 00:58:16.040
WE WANT YOU TO GET 'EM.
00:58:18.230 --> 00:58:19.110
WE WANNA SEE THIS DIVORCE RATE--
00:58:19.110 --> 00:58:20.030
IT STARTS WITH FIGURING OUT HOW
00:58:20.070 --> 00:58:23.070
TO FIX YOUR GUYS' RELATIONSHIP--
00:58:23.070 --> 00:58:25.000
MADGE, GERRY, JIM.
00:58:25.160 --> 00:58:28.160
[LAUGHTER]
00:58:28.160 --> 00:58:29.180
GO GET THE ASSESSMENT TEST, AND
00:58:32.240 --> 00:58:33.160
YOU KNOW WHAT?
00:58:33.160 --> 00:58:34.100
I JUST WANNA SAY THANK YOU TO
00:58:34.100 --> 00:58:36.010
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
00:58:39.270 --> 00:58:41.020
GET THE ASSESSMENT TEST.
00:58:41.020 --> 00:58:42.060
ALL THE INFORMATION IS ON THE
00:58:42.060 --> 00:58:42.270
SCREEN.
00:58:42.270 --> 00:58:43.100
WE'LL SEE YA NEXT TIME.
00:58:43.100 --> 00:58:44.020
- LAURIE: LOVE YOU.
00:58:44.020 --> 00:58:44.290
- MATT: BYE-BYE.
00:58:44.290 --> 00:58:46.010

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Praise | Les & Leslie Parrott | June 20, 2019

Praise | Les & Leslie Parrott | June 20, 2019

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Praise | Les & Leslie Parrott | June 20, 2019

Praise | Les & Leslie Parrott | June 20, 2019

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