Praise | Les & Leslie Parrott | June 20, 2019
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Praise | Les & Leslie Parrott | June 20, 2019
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- - MALE ANNOUNCER: COMING UP--
- 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.000
- - MATT CROUCH: WE ARE GOING TO
- 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:02.270
- BE TALKING ABOUT--
- 00:00:02.270 --> 00:00:05.050
- - LES PARROTT: THAT BIG WORD,
- 00:00:05.050 --> 00:00:07.100
- "RELATIONSHIPS."
- 00:00:07.100 --> 00:00:07.270
- - MATT: OH, GOD IN HEAVEN.
- 00:00:07.270 --> 00:00:08.170
- - LAURIE CROUCH: WHEN YOU
- 00:00:08.170 --> 00:00:09.060
- YELLED AT ME IN FRONT OF
- 00:00:09.060 --> 00:00:09.250
- EVERYBODY.
- 00:00:09.250 --> 00:00:11.230
- - MATT: WHEN?
- 00:00:11.230 --> 00:00:12.210
- WHAT'RE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
- 00:00:12.210 --> 00:00:14.070
- [MUSIC]
- 00:00:14.070 --> 00:00:14.250
- - LESLIE PARROTT: HE DOESN'T
- 00:00:14.250 --> 00:00:15.190
- EVEN APPRECIATE IT.
- 00:00:15.190 --> 00:00:16.070
- WHY AM I BACK HERE DOING THIS?
- 00:00:16.070 --> 00:00:16.280
- I'M EXHAUSTED.
- 00:00:16.280 --> 00:00:17.220
- - LES: WHAT HAPPENED BACK
- 00:00:17.220 --> 00:00:18.110
- THERE?
- 00:00:18.110 --> 00:00:18.290
- - MATT: I REMEMBERED THE
- 00:00:18.290 --> 00:00:19.230
- EMOTION OF BEING MISUNDERSTOOD.
- 00:00:19.230 --> 00:00:20.290
- - LESLIE: HOPING FOR MORE
- 00:00:20.290 --> 00:00:23.250
- AFFIRMATION, AND THIS IS WHAT HE
- 00:00:23.250 --> 00:00:25.210
- GAVE ME.
- 00:00:25.210 --> 00:00:27.040
- - LES: THAT'S-- THAT'S NOT WHAT
- 00:00:27.040 --> 00:00:29.070
- I DID.
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- I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO CLAP IN
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- A SARCASTIC WAY.
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- THE ELBOWS HAVE TO GO OUT A
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- LITTLE BIT.
- 00:00:33.040 --> 00:00:33.190
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:00:33.190 --> 00:00:34.210
- [MUSIC]
- 00:00:34.210 --> 00:00:35.250
- - MATT: OKAY, WHAT HAPPENED?
- 00:00:35.250 --> 00:00:36.200
- 'CAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER.
- 00:00:36.200 --> 00:00:37.180
- - LESLIE: YOU DO.
- 00:00:37.180 --> 00:00:38.100
- YOU KNOW EXACTLY.
- 00:00:38.100 --> 00:00:40.030
- - MATT: I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT
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- YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT.
- 00:00:40.250 --> 00:00:41.160
- - LES: YOUR RELATIONSHIPS CAN
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- ONLY BE AS HEALTHY AS YOU ARE.
- 00:00:42.230 --> 00:00:44.040
- - MATT: NOW WE'RE GETTIN'
- 00:00:44.040 --> 00:00:46.070
- SOMEWHERE.
- 00:00:46.070 --> 00:00:46.190
- - ANNOUNCER: AN ALL NEW
- 00:00:46.190 --> 00:00:47.120
- "PRAISE" STARTS RIGHT NOW.
- 00:00:47.120 --> 00:00:48.100
- - MATT: YOU'RE STILL BEIN' A
- 00:00:48.100 --> 00:00:49.150
- JERK.
- 00:00:49.150 --> 00:00:50.050
- - LAURIE: OKAY, SO NOW I'M
- 00:00:50.050 --> 00:00:51.140
- BEING THE JERK.
- 00:00:51.140 --> 00:00:52.180
- - ANNOUNCER: TONIGHT ON
- 00:01:02.120 --> 00:01:03.000
- "PRAISE,"
- 00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:04.280
- FROM LOS ANGELES, PSYCHOLOGY
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- PROFESSOR AND BEST-SELLING
- 00:01:05.190 --> 00:01:06.080
- AUTHORS, STATEWIDE MARRIAGE
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- AMBASSADORS,
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- - ANNOUNCER: AND NOW MATT AND
- 00:01:15.130 --> 00:01:16.040
- LAURIE CROUCH.
- 00:01:16.040 --> 00:01:17.200
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- 00:01:17.200 --> 00:01:19.200
- - MATT: "PRAISE" COMES TO SEE
- 00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:20.110
- YOU FROM RIGHT HERE IN
- 00:01:20.110 --> 00:01:21.050
- SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.
- 00:01:21.250 --> 00:01:24.250
- TONIGHT, WE HAVE LOTS OF DOCTORS
- 00:01:24.250 --> 00:01:25.260
- IN THE HOUSE:
- 00:01:25.260 --> 00:01:26.130
- DR. LES AND LESLIE.
- 00:01:26.130 --> 00:01:28.220
- - LAURIE: EXCLUDING US.
- 00:01:28.220 --> 00:01:29.100
- - MATT: WE ARE WANTING TO TALK
- 00:01:29.100 --> 00:01:31.090
- ABOUT LOT OF STUFF, BUT WHAT'S
- 00:01:31.090 --> 00:01:32.080
- THE MAIN SUBJECT WE'RE TAKIN' ON
- 00:01:32.080 --> 00:01:33.170
- TONIGHT?
- 00:01:33.170 --> 00:01:34.200
- - LES: WE CAN SUM IT UP IN THAT
- 00:01:34.200 --> 00:01:35.280
- BIG WORD, "RELATIONSHIPS," AND
- 00:01:35.280 --> 00:01:36.220
- WE ALL HAVE 'EM, RIGHT?
- 00:01:36.220 --> 00:01:37.200
- IT'S THE HUB OF THE WHEEL.
- 00:01:37.200 --> 00:01:38.090
- IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DO IN
- 00:01:38.090 --> 00:01:39.150
- LIFE.
- 00:01:39.150 --> 00:01:40.030
- IT'S THE NUMBER ONE SOURCE OF
- 00:01:40.030 --> 00:01:41.220
- HAPPINESS AND FULFILLMENT, AND
- 00:01:41.220 --> 00:01:43.220
- IF YOU GET RELATIONSHIPS RIGHT,
- 00:01:43.220 --> 00:01:44.240
- LIFE DOESN'T GET MUCH SWEETER.
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- - LESLIE: THAT'S RIGHT, AND
- 00:01:46.210 --> 00:01:47.270
- THAT'S EVERY RELATIONSHIP.
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- IT'S MARRIAGE FOR SURE, BUT IT'S
- 00:01:48.160 --> 00:01:50.160
- WITH YOUR KIDS, IT'S WITH YOUR
- 00:01:50.160 --> 00:01:52.030
- PARENTS, IT'S WITH YOUR
- 00:01:52.030 --> 00:01:54.000
- TEACHERS, YOUR FRIENDSHIP
- 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:55.140
- CIRCLES.
- 00:01:55.140 --> 00:01:56.140
- WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING IN LIFE,
- 00:01:56.140 --> 00:01:57.070
- RELATIONSHIPS REALLY ARE THE
- 00:01:57.070 --> 00:01:58.040
- DEEPEST FULFILLMENT.
- 00:01:58.040 --> 00:02:00.250
- - LES: YEAH, SO WHAT WE WANNA
- 00:02:00.250 --> 00:02:01.160
- TALK ABOUT-- IN FACT, WE TEACH A
- 00:02:01.160 --> 00:02:02.150
- CLASS ON RELATIONSHIPS WHERE
- 00:02:02.150 --> 00:02:03.050
- IT'S JUST BEEN A PHENOMENAL
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- THING.
- 00:02:05.180 --> 00:02:06.250
- STUDENTS ARE STARVING FOR
- 00:02:06.250 --> 00:02:07.160
- INFORMATION ON HEALTHY
- 00:02:07.160 --> 00:02:08.230
- RELATIONSHIPS, AND I DON'T JUST
- 00:02:08.230 --> 00:02:09.150
- THINK IT'S COLLEGE STUDENTS.
- 00:02:09.150 --> 00:02:10.100
- I THINK IT'S ALL OF US, AND, YET
- 00:02:10.100 --> 00:02:11.150
- WE'RE NOT GETTING THE
- 00:02:11.150 --> 00:02:14.050
- INFORMATION TO THE PEOPLE THAT
- 00:02:14.050 --> 00:02:15.140
- CAN PUT IT INTO PRACTICE.
- 00:02:15.140 --> 00:02:16.200
- THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO IN
- 00:02:16.200 --> 00:02:17.160
- THE SHOW TONIGHT IS GIVE
- 00:02:17.160 --> 00:02:18.090
- PRACTICAL HOW-TOS, TAKE AWAY
- 00:02:18.090 --> 00:02:21.020
- THINGS THAT PEOPLE CAN DO,
- 00:02:21.020 --> 00:02:22.120
- STARTING TODAY, THAT MAKE A
- 00:02:22.120 --> 00:02:23.290
- POSITIVE DIFFERENCE IN THEIR
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- RELATIONSHIPS.
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- - LESLIE: THAT'S RIGHT, AS WELL
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- AS BIBLICAL INSIGHT.
- 00:02:26.230 --> 00:02:27.130
- - LES: YEAH.
- 00:02:27.130 --> 00:02:28.070
- [APPLAUSE]
- 00:02:28.070 --> 00:02:29.000
- - MATT: OKAY--
- 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:30.230
- - LAURIE: I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT
- 00:02:30.230 --> 00:02:31.180
- THIS SHOW.
- 00:02:31.180 --> 00:02:34.020
- - MATT: OKAY, ARE YOU DOING ANY
- 00:02:34.020 --> 00:02:35.070
- KIND OF DOCTOR MOJO ON US RIGHT
- 00:02:35.070 --> 00:02:35.290
- NOW?
- 00:02:35.290 --> 00:02:37.110
- - LAURIE: YES, THEY HAVE BEEN
- 00:02:37.110 --> 00:02:38.020
- ALL DAY.
- 00:02:38.020 --> 00:02:38.120
- I CAN FEEL IT.
- 00:02:38.120 --> 00:02:38.260
- - LES: WELL, SHE'S ASKED ME TO
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- WORK ON YOU AFTER THE SHOW.
- 00:02:40.160 --> 00:02:41.090
- WE'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT LATER.
- 00:02:41.090 --> 00:02:42.030
- - MATT: OKAY.
- 00:02:42.030 --> 00:02:42.250
- - LAURIE: YOU THINK I'M
- 00:02:42.250 --> 00:02:43.130
- KIDDING?
- 00:02:43.130 --> 00:02:44.080
- - MATT: SO, FIRST OF ALL, I
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- WANT TO TALK ABOUT ASSESSMENT
- 00:02:47.210 --> 00:02:50.210
- TESTS, OKAY?
- 00:02:50.210 --> 00:02:52.010
- I HAVE HEARD ABOUT, YOU KNOW,
- 00:02:52.060 --> 00:02:55.060
- THESE KIND OF THINGS WHERE YOU
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- GO AND YOU FILL OUT ALL THE
- 00:02:57.150 --> 00:02:58.050
- STUFF.
- 00:02:58.050 --> 00:02:58.150
- WE DID YOURS.
- 00:02:58.150 --> 00:03:00.280
- LAURIE AND I DID YOURS, AND
- 00:03:00.280 --> 00:03:02.020
- WE'VE DONE ONE OR TWO OVER THE
- 00:03:02.020 --> 00:03:04.240
- YEARS, AND I WANNA SAY ONE
- 00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:08.120
- THING, THAT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
- 00:03:09.060 --> 00:03:12.060
- THEY WERE REALLY THAT HELPFUL.
- 00:03:12.180 --> 00:03:15.180
- I DIDN'T-- I JUST-- LOOK, I
- 00:03:15.180 --> 00:03:17.000
- DIDN'T KNOW--
- 00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:19.120
- - LAURIE: YOU DIDN'T KNOW, OR
- 00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:20.090
- YOU DIDN'T THINK?
- 00:03:20.090 --> 00:03:20.240
- - MATT: I DIDN'T THINK THEY
- 00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:22.000
- WERE, BUT THEY REALLY ARE, SO
- 00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:23.010
- WHY DON'T WE START THERE AND
- 00:03:23.010 --> 00:03:25.130
- TALK ABOUT WHY DO THEY WORK?
- 00:03:29.170 --> 00:03:32.170
- WHAT ARE THEY, FIRST OF ALL?
- 00:03:32.170 --> 00:03:33.070
- I MEAN, YOU'RE A DOCTOR, SO
- 00:03:33.070 --> 00:03:33.270
- EXPLAIN IT TO US WHY-- AND THEN
- 00:03:33.270 --> 00:03:36.200
- WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT, AND, LOOK,
- 00:03:36.200 --> 00:03:38.040
- BOTTOM LINE, WE WANT YOU TO DO
- 00:03:38.040 --> 00:03:39.060
- LAURIE AND I DID IT.
- 00:03:43.070 --> 00:03:44.030
- IT'S CALLED "BETTER LOVE," AND
- 00:03:44.030 --> 00:03:44.240
- THAT ONE IS FOR COUPLES, BUT YOU
- 00:03:45.260 --> 00:03:48.260
- HAVE THEM FOR SINGLE PEOPLE, YOU
- 00:03:48.260 --> 00:03:50.040
- HAVE THEM FOR PROFESSIONALS, YOU
- 00:03:50.040 --> 00:03:52.220
- HAVE THEM FOR COUNSELORS, AND
- 00:03:52.220 --> 00:03:54.030
- ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF, AND SO
- 00:03:54.030 --> 00:03:55.080
- WE'RE GONNA GET INTO ALL THAT,
- 00:03:55.080 --> 00:03:56.120
- BUT WHAT ARE THEY, AND WHAT'S
- 00:03:56.120 --> 00:03:58.170
- YOUR EXPERIENCE?
- 00:03:58.170 --> 00:04:00.160
- I'VE HEARD THAT YOU KIND OF
- 00:04:02.220 --> 00:04:03.120
- WORKED ON ONE THAT PEOPLE KNOW
- 00:04:03.120 --> 00:04:04.030
- ABOUT A LITTLE BIT, KIND OF,
- 00:04:04.030 --> 00:04:04.230
- CALLED "EHARMONY," SO, I MEAN,
- 00:04:05.140 --> 00:04:08.140
- BUT WHAT ARE THEY REALLY?
- 00:04:08.140 --> 00:04:09.030
- - LES: WELL, HERE'S WHAT WE
- 00:04:09.030 --> 00:04:09.250
- KNOW AFTER YEARS OF FOCUSING ON
- 00:04:09.250 --> 00:04:10.170
- RELATIONSHIPS.
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- YOUR RELATIONSHIPS CAN ONLY BE
- 00:04:14.050 --> 00:04:15.200
- LET ME SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME.
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- THIS IS SO KEY.
- 00:04:19.250 --> 00:04:20.090
- YOUR RELATIONSHIPS CAN ONLY BE
- 00:04:20.090 --> 00:04:21.000
- AS HEALTHY AS YOU ARE,
- 00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:23.100
- THEREFORE, ONE OF THE MOST
- 00:04:23.100 --> 00:04:24.080
- IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'LL EVER DO
- 00:04:24.080 --> 00:04:25.080
- FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS IS WORK
- 00:04:25.080 --> 00:04:26.200
- ON WHO YOU ARE IN THE CONTEXT OF
- 00:04:26.200 --> 00:04:28.090
- AND ONE OF THE BEST WAYS-- IN
- 00:04:31.080 --> 00:04:32.000
- FACT, I THINK IT'S THE VERY BEST
- 00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:32.220
- WAY TO DO THAT IS TO--
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- WELL, IT COMES DOWN TO
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- TWO THINGS:
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- SELF-AWARENESS-- THINK ABOUT
- 00:04:36.160 --> 00:04:38.230
- THAT FOR A SECOND:
- 00:04:38.230 --> 00:04:40.170
- SELF-AWARENESS.
- 00:04:40.170 --> 00:04:41.080
- IF YOU BECOME MORE AWARE OF YOU
- 00:04:41.080 --> 00:04:43.190
- AND YOUR EMOTIONAL LANDSCAPE AND
- 00:04:43.190 --> 00:04:45.280
- YOUR ISSUES AND SO FORTH, THEN
- 00:04:45.280 --> 00:04:47.080
- YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT,
- 00:04:47.080 --> 00:04:48.190
- RIGHT?
- 00:04:48.190 --> 00:04:49.100
- - LESLIE: RIGHT, AWARENESS IS
- 00:04:49.100 --> 00:04:50.010
- CURATIVE.
- 00:04:50.010 --> 00:04:51.080
- IT REALLY IS BECAUSE IT OPENS
- 00:04:51.080 --> 00:04:52.220
- YOUR EYES.
- 00:04:52.220 --> 00:04:53.290
- YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHY INSIGHT IS
- 00:04:53.290 --> 00:04:55.110
- SO POWERFUL, THAT "AH-HAH"
- 00:04:55.110 --> 00:04:58.090
- MOMENT.
- 00:04:58.090 --> 00:04:59.060
- - LES: AND THAT'S WHAT AN
- 00:04:59.060 --> 00:04:59.250
- ASSESSMENT DOES.
- 00:04:59.250 --> 00:05:00.110
- IT'S LIKE LOOKING IN A MIRROR
- 00:05:00.110 --> 00:05:01.020
- FOR THE FIRST TIME AND GO, "OH,
- 00:05:01.020 --> 00:05:01.240
- OKAY, I DIDN'T SEE IT THAT WAY
- 00:05:01.240 --> 00:05:02.210
- BEFORE."
- 00:05:02.210 --> 00:05:03.070
- SO THAT'S THE FIRST STEP FOR
- 00:05:03.070 --> 00:05:04.260
- AN ASSESSMENT LIKE BETTER LOVE,
- 00:05:04.260 --> 00:05:06.190
- AND THEN THE SECOND BIG
- 00:05:06.190 --> 00:05:07.250
- ONE IS EMPATHY.
- 00:05:07.250 --> 00:05:09.130
- AND EMPATHY, AS WE ALL KNOW,
- 00:05:09.130 --> 00:05:12.080
- IS-- I THINK, IT'S THE MOST
- 00:05:12.080 --> 00:05:14.010
- IMPORTANT SKILL SET WE EVER WORK
- 00:05:14.010 --> 00:05:15.210
- ON AS HUMAN BEINGS, THE CAPACITY
- 00:05:15.210 --> 00:05:17.280
- TO PUT OURSELVES IN SOMEBODY
- 00:05:17.280 --> 00:05:19.230
- ELSE'S SHOES, SEE THE WORLD FROM
- 00:05:19.230 --> 00:05:21.150
- THEIR PERSPECTIVE, IMAGINE WHAT
- 00:05:22.050 --> 00:05:25.050
- LIFE MUST BE LIKE TO BE LIVED IN
- 00:05:25.050 --> 00:05:25.270
- THEIR SKIN.
- 00:05:25.270 --> 00:05:26.090
- I WISH WE COULD PACKAGE IT UP.
- 00:05:26.090 --> 00:05:27.000
- WOULDN'T IT BE INCREDIBLE TO
- 00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:28.030
- HAVE, LIKE, A BOTTLE OF EMPATHY
- 00:05:28.030 --> 00:05:30.030
- THAT WE COULD GIVE TO A PERSON?
- 00:05:30.030 --> 00:05:31.080
- I'D LIKE IT TO BE A SPRAY
- 00:05:31.080 --> 00:05:32.030
- BOTTLE, YOU KNOW?
- 00:05:32.030 --> 00:05:34.000
- AND YOU JUST COME HOME--
- 00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:35.130
- EXACTLY, RIGHT?
- 00:05:35.130 --> 00:05:36.030
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:05:36.030 --> 00:05:39.000
- "WE'RE HAVIN' A CONVERSATION
- 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:39.200
- RIGHT NOW.
- 00:05:39.200 --> 00:05:40.070
- YOU REALLY NEED TO SEE MY
- 00:05:40.070 --> 00:05:40.260
- PERSPECTIVE--"
- 00:05:40.260 --> 00:05:41.160
- [SQUIRTING SOUND]
- 00:05:41.160 --> 00:05:42.050
- RIGHT IN THE FACE.
- 00:05:42.050 --> 00:05:42.210
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:05:42.210 --> 00:05:45.120
- AND, OF COURSE, WE CAN'T DO
- 00:05:45.120 --> 00:05:46.020
- THAT, BUT WHAT WE CAN DO IS BOTH
- 00:05:46.020 --> 00:05:47.210
- TAKE AN ASSESSMENT, AND IT WORKS
- 00:05:47.210 --> 00:05:49.160
- IMPROVING YOUR SELF-AWARENESS
- 00:05:53.190 --> 00:05:54.240
- AND INCREASING YOUR CAPACITY FOR
- 00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:56.070
- EMPATHY, AND THAT'S A PRETTY BIG
- 00:05:56.070 --> 00:05:58.140
- PROMISE.
- 00:05:58.140 --> 00:06:00.060
- YOU DO THAT, AND LIFE GETS
- 00:06:00.060 --> 00:06:01.260
- PRETTY SWEET BECAUSE, ALL OF A
- 00:06:01.260 --> 00:06:03.180
- SUDDEN, YOU'RE GETTING HEALTHIER
- 00:06:03.180 --> 00:06:04.250
- IN THE CONTEXT OF YOUR
- 00:06:04.250 --> 00:06:06.020
- RELATIONSHIPS, THUS YOUR
- 00:06:06.020 --> 00:06:06.280
- RELATIONSHIPS ARE TOO.
- 00:06:06.280 --> 00:06:08.260
- - LESLIE: SO POWERFUL.
- 00:06:08.260 --> 00:06:10.290
- IT'S LIKE AN X-RAY, REALLY, THAT
- 00:06:10.290 --> 00:06:11.210
- WE SO OFTEN FEEL LIKE IT'S A
- 00:06:13.290 --> 00:06:15.200
- MYSTERY, WHAT'S GOING ON IN ME,
- 00:06:15.200 --> 00:06:16.120
- WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN US, AND
- 00:06:16.120 --> 00:06:18.220
- IT JUST BRINGS IT OUT INTO THE
- 00:06:18.220 --> 00:06:20.150
- LIGHT, AND THAT AWARENESS IS
- 00:06:20.150 --> 00:06:22.130
- SUCH A GIFT.
- 00:06:22.130 --> 00:06:23.150
- - LES: AND SOMETIMES GIVING US
- 00:06:23.150 --> 00:06:24.070
- SUCH AN INSIGHT THAT WE REALLY--
- 00:06:24.070 --> 00:06:26.230
- "OH, MAN, I WAS TOTALLY BLIND TO
- 00:06:26.230 --> 00:06:27.150
- THAT.
- 00:06:27.150 --> 00:06:27.240
- I DIDN'T-- NO WONDER THAT'S
- 00:06:27.240 --> 00:06:29.000
- HAPPENING IN MY RELATIONSHIPS.
- 00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:31.200
- I JUST DIDN'T SEE THAT BEFORE."
- 00:06:31.200 --> 00:06:32.120
- AND THAT'S THE POWER OF AN
- 00:06:32.120 --> 00:06:33.030
- ASSESSMENT.
- 00:06:33.030 --> 00:06:34.010
- - LAURIE: SO THERE ARE PEOPLE
- 00:06:34.060 --> 00:06:37.060
- THAT DON'T HAVE EMPATHY OR THAT
- 00:06:37.060 --> 00:06:39.140
- THEY'RE NOT SUPER GOOD AT IT.
- 00:06:39.160 --> 00:06:42.160
- MAYBE THEY'RE LOW ON
- 00:06:42.160 --> 00:06:43.020
- THE SCALE WITH EMPATHY.
- 00:06:43.020 --> 00:06:45.130
- CAN YOU MAKE YOURSELF--
- 00:06:45.130 --> 00:06:46.270
- - LES: ARE YOU ASKING FOR HIM?
- 00:06:46.270 --> 00:06:48.130
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:06:48.130 --> 00:06:48.280
- - LAURIE: MAYBE, MAYBE.
- 00:06:50.030 --> 00:06:53.030
- - LESLIE: IS THIS A PERSONAL
- 00:06:53.030 --> 00:06:53.240
- QUESTION?
- 00:06:53.240 --> 00:06:54.050
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:06:54.050 --> 00:06:55.100
- - LAURIE: LET'S JUST SAY I HAVE
- 00:06:55.100 --> 00:06:56.020
- MORE THAN HE DOES.
- 00:06:56.020 --> 00:06:57.240
- - LES: WE TALKED A LITTLE OVER
- 00:06:57.240 --> 00:06:58.160
- LUNCH ABOUT THAT.
- 00:06:58.160 --> 00:06:59.070
- BUT, YEAH, HERE'S WHAT WE KNOW
- 00:06:59.070 --> 00:07:01.230
- ABOUT EMPATHY: MOST OF US THINK
- 00:07:01.230 --> 00:07:02.270
- WE'RE BETTER AT IT THAN WE
- 00:07:02.270 --> 00:07:04.030
- REALLY ARE.
- 00:07:04.030 --> 00:07:05.000
- WE KNOW THAT FROM RESEARCH--
- 00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:05.260
- - LESLIE: YEAH, WE'RE PRETTY
- 00:07:05.260 --> 00:07:06.170
- CONFIDENT, "I-- YEAH, I'VE GOT
- 00:07:06.170 --> 00:07:07.180
- THIS."
- 00:07:07.180 --> 00:07:08.040
- - LES: -- RIGHT?
- 00:07:08.040 --> 00:07:08.190
- AND, SECONDLY, WE CONFUSE
- 00:07:08.190 --> 00:07:10.040
- "SYMPATHY" WITH "EMPATHY."
- 00:07:10.040 --> 00:07:11.080
- AS I TELL MY COUNSELING
- 00:07:11.080 --> 00:07:12.220
- STUDENTS,
- 00:07:12.220 --> 00:07:13.130
- "SYMPATHY" IS STANDING ON THE
- 00:07:13.130 --> 00:07:14.250
- SHORE AND THROWING OUT A LIFE
- 00:07:14.250 --> 00:07:16.080
- RING TO SOMEBODY THAT'S
- 00:07:16.080 --> 00:07:17.280
- STRUGGLING IN THE WATER,"
- 00:07:17.280 --> 00:07:18.270
- AND EVERYBODY IN THE
- 00:07:18.270 --> 00:07:19.140
- STUDIO AUDIENCE AND EVERYBODY
- 00:07:19.140 --> 00:07:20.140
- THAT'S LISTENING TO US RIGHT
- 00:07:20.140 --> 00:07:21.080
- NOW WOULD DO THAT 'CAUSE WE'RE
- 00:07:21.080 --> 00:07:22.110
- DECENT HUMAN BEINGS.
- 00:07:22.110 --> 00:07:23.030
- "EMPATHY," MUCH MORE RISKY.
- 00:07:23.030 --> 00:07:25.010
- "EMPATHY" IS ACTUALLY DIVING
- 00:07:25.010 --> 00:07:27.240
- INTO THE WATER, RISKING YOUR OWN
- 00:07:27.240 --> 00:07:29.210
- WELL-BEING, TO BRING THAT PERSON
- 00:07:29.210 --> 00:07:30.240
- BACK TO SHORE, AND NOT EVERYBODY
- 00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:32.010
- DOES THAT.
- 00:07:32.010 --> 00:07:32.250
- IN FACT, THAT'S SO RARE, WHAT DO
- 00:07:32.250 --> 00:07:34.000
- WE CALL THOSE PEOPLE?
- 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:35.080
- THEY'RE HEROES, RIGHT?
- 00:07:35.080 --> 00:07:36.050
- - MATT: FIRST RESPONDERS, YEAH.
- 00:07:36.050 --> 00:07:37.070
- - LES: YEAH, AND IT'S JUST AS
- 00:07:37.070 --> 00:07:38.020
- HEROIC, YEAH.
- 00:07:38.020 --> 00:07:39.120
- IT'S JUST AS HEROIC WHEN WE DO
- 00:07:39.120 --> 00:07:41.200
- THAT IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS,
- 00:07:41.200 --> 00:07:43.060
- WHETHER IT'S WITH FRIENDSHIPS OR
- 00:07:43.060 --> 00:07:44.170
- MARRIAGE OR WORK RELATIONSHIPS.
- 00:07:44.170 --> 00:07:45.190
- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THAT YOU
- 00:07:45.190 --> 00:07:48.010
- CONSCIOUSLY THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT
- 00:07:48.010 --> 00:07:50.200
- THE WORLD LOOKS LIKE FROM YOUR
- 00:07:50.200 --> 00:07:51.170
- PARTNER'S PERSPECTIVE, RIGHT?
- 00:07:51.170 --> 00:07:54.020
- WE DON'T GO AROUND ALL DAY
- 00:07:54.020 --> 00:07:55.040
- THINKIN' ABOUT THAT ALL THE
- 00:07:55.040 --> 00:07:55.240
- TIME.
- 00:07:55.240 --> 00:07:56.180
- WE PROJECT OUR OWN FEELINGS AND
- 00:07:56.180 --> 00:07:57.290
- STUFF ONTO THEM, RIGHT?
- 00:07:57.290 --> 00:07:59.070
- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID
- 00:07:59.070 --> 00:08:00.150
- THAT FOR ME?
- 00:08:00.150 --> 00:08:01.020
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:08:01.020 --> 00:08:03.280
- - LAURIE: NOW WE'RE GETTIN'
- 00:08:03.280 --> 00:08:04.180
- SOMEWHERE.
- 00:08:04.180 --> 00:08:04.290
- - LESLIE: THIS MORNING WHEN I
- 00:08:04.290 --> 00:08:05.200
- ROLLED OUT OF BED.
- 00:08:05.200 --> 00:08:06.160
- - LES: OH, REALLY, ALL DAY
- 00:08:06.160 --> 00:08:07.240
- LONG, YEAH, RIGHT.
- 00:08:07.240 --> 00:08:09.190
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:08:09.190 --> 00:08:10.000
- - LES: DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
- 00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:10.210
- ON EMPATHY, I COULD TALK ALL
- 00:08:10.210 --> 00:08:12.080
- NIGHT ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT'S SUCH
- 00:08:12.080 --> 00:08:13.050
- AN IMPORTANT SUBJECT, AND I WISH
- 00:08:13.050 --> 00:08:14.150
- WE COULD PRESS A MAGIC BUTTON.
- 00:08:14.150 --> 00:08:16.060
- I WISH WE COULD GIVE IT AS A
- 00:08:16.060 --> 00:08:17.050
- WEDDING GIFT TO PEOPLE.
- 00:08:17.050 --> 00:08:17.240
- IT'S SO POWERFUL.
- 00:08:17.240 --> 00:08:19.210
- - LESLIE: PART OF EMPATHY IS
- 00:08:19.210 --> 00:08:20.290
- ACTUALLY SELF-AWARENESS 'CAUSE
- 00:08:20.290 --> 00:08:22.030
- YOU KIND OF HAVE TO BE REALLY IN
- 00:08:22.030 --> 00:08:23.180
- TOUCH WITH YOUR OWN SELF TO KNOW
- 00:08:23.180 --> 00:08:24.100
- HOW YOU FEEL IN A MOMENT, AND
- 00:08:24.100 --> 00:08:25.240
- THEN YOU KIND OF HAVE THE
- 00:08:25.240 --> 00:08:27.290
- MATURITY TO SET THAT ASIDE AND
- 00:08:27.290 --> 00:08:29.080
- REALLY ENTER IN: "NOW, WHAT'S MY
- 00:08:29.080 --> 00:08:31.030
- SPOUSE FEELING?"
- 00:08:31.030 --> 00:08:33.250
- AND YOU DO THAT WHOLEHEARTEDLY,
- 00:08:33.250 --> 00:08:35.070
- AND BOTH OF THOSE PIECES ARE SO
- 00:08:35.070 --> 00:08:36.110
- POWERFUL BECAUSE IT REALLY DOES
- 00:08:36.110 --> 00:08:38.020
- CHANGE YOU ONCE YOU SEE IT FROM
- 00:08:38.020 --> 00:08:40.080
- THEIR SIDE.
- 00:08:40.080 --> 00:08:41.160
- - LES: THAT'S THE POINT.
- 00:08:41.160 --> 00:08:42.050
- IT WILL CHANGE YOU.
- 00:08:42.050 --> 00:08:42.210
- YOU CAN'T LOOK AT LIFE FROM
- 00:08:42.210 --> 00:08:44.050
- SOMEBODY ELSE'S PERSPECTIVE
- 00:08:44.050 --> 00:08:45.120
- WITHOUT, ALL OF A SUDDEN, HAVIN'
- 00:08:45.120 --> 00:08:46.200
- A NEW INSIGHT, "OH, NO WONDER
- 00:08:46.200 --> 00:08:47.210
- THEY DO THAT.
- 00:08:47.210 --> 00:08:49.040
- THAT'S WHY THEY DRIVE ME NUTS
- 00:08:49.040 --> 00:08:50.070
- BECAUSE NOW I SEE WHY THEY WOULD
- 00:08:50.070 --> 00:08:51.010
- DO THAT," RIGHT?
- 00:08:51.010 --> 00:08:52.200
- - LESLIE: YEAH, IT WAS THEIR
- 00:08:52.200 --> 00:08:53.230
- ANXIETY, IT WAS THEIR FEAR,
- 00:08:53.230 --> 00:08:54.170
- WHATEVER IT WAS.
- 00:08:54.170 --> 00:08:55.070
- - LES: IT WAS THE HOME THEY
- 00:08:55.070 --> 00:08:56.070
- GREW UP IN, WHATEVER IT MIGHT
- 00:08:56.070 --> 00:08:56.280
- BE, AND WHEN YOU HAVE THAT GOING
- 00:08:56.280 --> 00:08:58.140
- BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN TWO
- 00:08:58.140 --> 00:08:59.280
- PEOPLE, THE RESEARCH SHOWS US
- 00:08:59.280 --> 00:09:01.040
- THOSE ARE THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE ON
- 00:09:01.040 --> 00:09:02.280
- THE PLANET.
- 00:09:02.280 --> 00:09:04.140
- MUTUAL EMPATHY, IT'S AN
- 00:09:04.140 --> 00:09:06.040
- INCREDIBLE BLESSING.
- 00:09:06.040 --> 00:09:06.250
- - MATT: OKAY, YOU SEEM TO KNOW
- 00:09:06.250 --> 00:09:07.170
- WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SO
- 00:09:07.170 --> 00:09:09.040
- FAR.
- 00:09:09.040 --> 00:09:10.140
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:09:10.140 --> 00:09:11.010
- YOU KNOW, I MEAN, YOU SOUND LIKE
- 00:09:11.010 --> 00:09:11.230
- DOCTORS.
- 00:09:11.230 --> 00:09:13.160
- - LES: I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS A
- 00:09:13.160 --> 00:09:14.140
- TEST, OKAY.
- 00:09:14.140 --> 00:09:15.030
- - MATT: YEAH, YEAH.
- 00:09:15.030 --> 00:09:15.210
- - LESLIE: IT'S AN ASSESSMENT.
- 00:09:15.210 --> 00:09:16.120
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:09:16.120 --> 00:09:16.230
- - LAURIE: JUST TESTING YOU.
- 00:09:16.230 --> 00:09:18.060
- - MATT: YOU'RE DOIN' A SCREEN
- 00:09:18.060 --> 00:09:19.070
- TEST RIGHT NOW, AND YOU JUST
- 00:09:19.070 --> 00:09:19.280
- DON'T KNOW IT.
- 00:09:19.280 --> 00:09:20.130
- BUT, BASICALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT
- 00:09:20.130 --> 00:09:21.120
- YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
- 00:09:22.240 --> 00:09:25.240
- YOU WERE A PART OF THE EHARMONY
- 00:09:25.240 --> 00:09:28.230
- THING THAT TENS OF MILLIONS OF
- 00:09:28.230 --> 00:09:31.090
- PEOPLE DID THAT WERE TRYING TO
- 00:09:31.090 --> 00:09:33.040
- MATCH PEOPLE, RIGHT?
- 00:09:33.040 --> 00:09:34.260
- - MATT: SO WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
- 00:09:37.020 --> 00:09:38.050
- ISSUES WHERE THE BETTER LOVE
- 00:09:38.050 --> 00:09:39.220
- ASSESSMENT THAT LAURIE AND I DID
- 00:09:40.010 --> 00:09:43.010
- RECENTLY, WE SEEM TO ANSWER A
- 00:09:43.100 --> 00:09:46.100
- BUNCH OF QUESTIONS THAT HAD TO
- 00:09:46.100 --> 00:09:48.050
- DO WITH LOTS OF DIFFERENT
- 00:09:48.050 --> 00:09:50.020
- SUBJECTS, AND YOU READ THESE
- 00:09:50.110 --> 00:09:53.110
- STATEMENTS, AND YOU KIND OF PICK
- 00:09:53.110 --> 00:09:54.240
- THE ONE THAT YOU SEEM IS THE
- 00:09:54.240 --> 00:09:56.170
- MOST LIKE YOU, OR SOMETHING LIKE
- 00:09:56.170 --> 00:09:57.150
- THAT, AND THEN IT ALL GETS KIND
- 00:09:57.150 --> 00:09:58.070
- OF FORMULATED.
- 00:09:58.070 --> 00:10:00.050
- WE'RE GONNA, KIND OF, PICK ONE
- 00:10:00.050 --> 00:10:00.260
- UP HERE IN A MINUTE AND GET INTO
- 00:10:00.260 --> 00:10:02.080
- AND WE'RE GONNA UN-PERSONALIZE
- 00:10:06.030 --> 00:10:06.240
- IT AT THAT MOMENT--
- 00:10:06.240 --> 00:10:09.040
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:10:09.040 --> 00:10:10.040
- -- BUT WE WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU
- 00:10:10.040 --> 00:10:10.260
- KNOW DR. LES AND LESLIE ARE
- 00:10:10.260 --> 00:10:13.060
- GONNA BE WITH US ALL NIGHT.
- 00:10:13.060 --> 00:10:15.050
- WE'RE GONNA BE TALKING ABOUT ALL
- 00:10:15.050 --> 00:10:15.270
- SORTS OF STUFF, INCLUDING "LOVE
- 00:10:15.270 --> 00:10:17.000
- LIKE THAT," DRS. PARROTT'S NEW
- 00:10:17.000 --> 00:10:17.280
- BOOK, HAPPENS TO BE A "NEW YORK
- 00:10:17.280 --> 00:10:19.180
- TIMES" NUMBER ONE BEST-SELLING
- 00:10:19.180 --> 00:10:21.140
- AUTHOR, ALSO PART OF ALL THESE
- 00:10:21.140 --> 00:10:22.150
- ASSESSMENT TESTS WE'RE GONNA
- 00:10:22.150 --> 00:10:23.270
- TALK ABOUT.
- 00:10:23.270 --> 00:10:26.130
- WE DID A LITTLE BIO PIECE.
- 00:10:26.130 --> 00:10:27.020
- ALL NIGHT WITH US,
- 00:10:27.020 --> 00:10:28.060
- DRS. LES AND LESLIE.
- 00:10:28.060 --> 00:10:29.260
- WATCH THIS.
- 00:10:29.260 --> 00:10:31.180
- - ANNOUNCER: LES AND LESLIE
- 00:10:31.180 --> 00:10:32.080
- PARROTT, A DYNAMIC DUO WHO SHARE
- 00:10:32.080 --> 00:10:34.270
- A PASSION FOR BUILDING HEALTHY
- 00:10:34.270 --> 00:10:36.110
- RELATIONSHIPS.
- 00:10:36.190 --> 00:10:39.190
- LES IS A PROFESSOR OF PSYCHOLOGY
- 00:10:39.190 --> 00:10:40.170
- AT NORTHWEST UNIVERSITY, AND
- 00:10:40.170 --> 00:10:42.260
- BOTH ARE FOUNDERS OF THE CENTER
- 00:10:42.260 --> 00:10:43.230
- FOR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AT
- 00:10:43.230 --> 00:10:45.050
- OLIVET UNIVERSITY IN
- 00:10:45.050 --> 00:10:46.220
- KANKAKEE, ILLINOIS.
- 00:10:46.220 --> 00:10:49.080
- - LESLIE: WHEN YOU'RE TAKING
- 00:10:49.080 --> 00:10:49.290
- OWNERSHIP OF IT INSTEAD OF
- 00:10:49.290 --> 00:10:51.020
- PLACING BLAME, THAT'S WHEN YOU
- 00:10:51.020 --> 00:10:52.200
- START WORKING TOWARD RESOLVE.
- 00:10:52.200 --> 00:10:54.100
- - ANNOUNCER: LESLIE, A MARRIAGE
- 00:10:54.100 --> 00:10:56.050
- AND FAMILY THERAPIST, AND LES, A
- 00:10:56.050 --> 00:10:58.200
- CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST, ARE KNOWN
- 00:10:58.200 --> 00:11:01.130
- FOR BRINGING REAL-LIFE EXAMPLES
- 00:11:01.130 --> 00:11:02.240
- TO THEIR PRESENTATIONS AND
- 00:11:02.240 --> 00:11:04.030
- DELIVERING CUTTING EDGE
- 00:11:04.030 --> 00:11:05.290
- INSIGHTFUL MESSAGES.
- 00:11:05.290 --> 00:11:07.270
- EVERY YEAR, THE PARROTTS SPEAK
- 00:11:07.270 --> 00:11:09.270
- IN MORE THAN 40 CITIES,
- 00:11:09.270 --> 00:11:12.030
- ADDRESSING AN ARRAY OF AUDIENCES
- 00:11:12.030 --> 00:11:13.070
- FROM CHURCHES TO FORTUNE 500
- 00:11:13.070 --> 00:11:15.220
- COMPANIES.
- 00:11:15.220 --> 00:11:16.280
- THE GOVERNOR OF OKLAHOMA
- 00:11:16.280 --> 00:11:19.260
- APPOINTED THEM AS THE FIRST-EVER
- 00:11:19.260 --> 00:11:20.180
- STATEWIDE MARRIAGE AMBASSADORS.
- 00:11:20.180 --> 00:11:23.080
- - LES: I CAN SAY TO LESLIE,
- 00:11:23.080 --> 00:11:24.110
- "WOW, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE
- 00:11:24.110 --> 00:11:25.050
- REALLY FEELING UPSET ABOUT
- 00:11:25.050 --> 00:11:26.080
- THAT."
- 00:11:26.080 --> 00:11:28.140
- - LESLIE: I DON'T KNOW IF I'M
- 00:11:28.140 --> 00:11:29.050
- UPSET.
- 00:11:29.050 --> 00:11:29.160
- I THINK I'M REALLY ANGRY ABOUT
- 00:11:29.160 --> 00:11:31.050
- IT.
- 00:11:31.050 --> 00:11:32.110
- - LES: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I WAS
- 00:11:32.110 --> 00:11:33.030
- GONNA SAY, "ANGRY ABOUT THAT,"
- 00:11:33.030 --> 00:11:33.240
- YEAH, RIGHT.
- 00:11:33.240 --> 00:11:34.060
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:11:34.060 --> 00:11:35.100
- [MUSIC]
- 00:11:35.100 --> 00:11:37.010
- - ANNOUNCER: AUTHORITIES HAVE
- 00:11:37.010 --> 00:11:37.220
- ALSO CALLED UPON LES AND LESLIE
- 00:11:37.220 --> 00:11:38.140
- TO PROVIDE SUPPORT IN THE
- 00:11:38.140 --> 00:11:40.080
- AFTERMATH OF WORLDWIDE
- 00:11:40.080 --> 00:11:42.000
- DISASTERS, INCLUDING GROUND ZERO
- 00:11:43.260 --> 00:11:46.260
- AND CHERNOBYL.
- 00:11:46.260 --> 00:11:48.040
- AS NUMBER ONE "NEW YORK TIMES"
- 00:11:48.040 --> 00:11:48.250
- BEST-SELLING AUTHORS, THEIR
- 00:11:48.250 --> 00:11:50.040
- BOOKS HAVE SOLD OVER TWO MILLION
- 00:11:50.040 --> 00:11:52.020
- COPIES IN MORE THAN TWO DOZEN
- 00:11:52.020 --> 00:11:53.080
- LANGUAGES.
- 00:11:53.080 --> 00:11:56.020
- THE PARROTT'S HAVE ALSO BEEN
- 00:11:56.020 --> 00:11:57.140
- FEATURED IN SEVERAL MEDIA
- 00:11:57.140 --> 00:11:58.120
- OUTLETS.
- 00:11:58.120 --> 00:11:59.000
- PART OF THEIR VISION IS TO EQUIP
- 00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:00.190
- MORE THAN A MILLION MARRIAGE
- 00:12:00.190 --> 00:12:02.060
- MENTORS TO HELP OTHERS BUILD
- 00:12:02.060 --> 00:12:03.280
- STRONGER LIFELONG MARRIAGES.
- 00:12:03.280 --> 00:12:06.060
- HERE ON "PRAISE,"
- 00:12:06.060 --> 00:12:09.020
- LES AND LESLIE PARROTT.
- 00:12:09.020 --> 00:12:10.270
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- 00:12:11.030 --> 00:12:14.030
- - MATT: I LIKE IT.
- 00:12:14.030 --> 00:12:14.190
- "PRAISE" IS ABOUT BETTER LOVE,
- 00:12:14.230 --> 00:12:17.230
- RIGHT HERE, ALL NIGHT.
- 00:12:17.230 --> 00:12:19.190
- WE WANNA TALK ABOUT THAT, BUT I
- 00:12:19.190 --> 00:12:21.060
- HAVE--
- 00:12:21.060 --> 00:12:22.160
- - LES: I JUST GOTTA SAY-- I
- 00:12:22.160 --> 00:12:23.060
- GOTTA INTERRUPT YOU FOR A
- 00:12:23.060 --> 00:12:23.250
- SECOND.
- 00:12:23.250 --> 00:12:24.060
- THAT PACKAGE THAT YOU JUST
- 00:12:24.060 --> 00:12:25.010
- ROLLED, NEXT TIME I'M FEELIN'
- 00:12:25.010 --> 00:12:26.120
- BAD ABOUT MYSELF, I'M GONNA
- 00:12:26.120 --> 00:12:27.110
- WATCH THAT.
- 00:12:27.110 --> 00:12:28.210
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:12:28.210 --> 00:12:29.070
- YOU GUYS MADE US LOOK PRETTY
- 00:12:29.070 --> 00:12:29.270
- GOOD.
- 00:12:29.270 --> 00:12:30.060
- - MATT: YOU CAN GET OUR APP.
- 00:12:30.060 --> 00:12:31.080
- YOU CAN RE-WATCH IT ANYTIME YOU
- 00:12:31.080 --> 00:12:32.040
- WANT.
- 00:12:32.040 --> 00:12:32.230
- IT'S PERFECT.
- 00:12:32.230 --> 00:12:33.180
- OKAY, BETTER LOVE IS SOMETHING
- 00:12:34.210 --> 00:12:37.210
- I'M INTERESTED IN.
- 00:12:37.210 --> 00:12:39.160
- I'M INTERESTED IN BETTER
- 00:12:39.160 --> 00:12:41.170
- RELATIONSHIPS.
- 00:12:41.170 --> 00:12:42.110
- I'M INTERESTED IN THIS SUBJECT
- 00:12:42.110 --> 00:12:44.210
- BECAUSE THE ONE OR TWO THAT
- 00:12:44.270 --> 00:12:47.270
- LAURIE AND I HAVE DONE OVER THE
- 00:12:47.270 --> 00:12:49.020
- YEARS ACTUALLY TAUGHT ME
- 00:12:49.020 --> 00:12:50.240
- SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY SHE
- 00:12:50.240 --> 00:12:53.100
- MIGHT ACT OR DO SOMETHING, AND
- 00:12:53.100 --> 00:12:55.170
- SOMETHING THAT I JUST DIDN'T
- 00:12:55.170 --> 00:12:57.160
- UNDERSTAND, I COMPLETELY
- 00:12:57.160 --> 00:13:00.140
- UNDERSTAND IT, AND MAYBE I'LL
- 00:13:00.140 --> 00:13:02.100
- LEARN MORE TONIGHT DURING THIS
- 00:13:02.100 --> 00:13:03.070
- BROADCAST.
- 00:13:03.080 --> 00:13:06.080
- OKAY, BUT--
- 00:13:06.080 --> 00:13:07.070
- - LAURIE: THAT'S GOOD.
- 00:13:07.070 --> 00:13:08.060
- - MATT: WHAT?
- 00:13:08.060 --> 00:13:08.240
- - LAURIE: THAT'S GOOD.
- 00:13:08.240 --> 00:13:09.120
- - MATT: I'M DOING GOOD SO FAR?
- 00:13:09.120 --> 00:13:10.040
- - LAURIE: YEAH, YOU'RE DOING
- 00:13:10.040 --> 00:13:10.250
- GREAT, BABY.
- 00:13:10.250 --> 00:13:11.080
- - MATT: OKAY, THANK YOU, BABY.
- 00:13:11.080 --> 00:13:14.050
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:13:14.050 --> 00:13:14.230
- AFTER 33 YEARS, WE'RE LEARNING.
- 00:13:14.230 --> 00:13:15.150
- SO, QUESTION THOUGH, WHAT IF YOU
- 00:13:19.110 --> 00:13:22.110
- ARE IN A MARRIAGE, AND YOU
- 00:13:22.110 --> 00:13:23.060
- JUST DON'T CARE?
- 00:13:23.060 --> 00:13:25.260
- HOW DO YOU GET SOMEONE TO START
- 00:13:25.260 --> 00:13:26.180
- CARING?
- 00:13:26.180 --> 00:13:29.000
- YOU GUYS WERE SITTING THERE JUST
- 00:13:29.000 --> 00:13:29.220
- A MINUTE AGO, TALKING LIKE, YOU
- 00:13:29.220 --> 00:13:31.000
- KNOW, YOU START LEARNING THINGS,
- 00:13:31.210 --> 00:13:34.210
- AND YOU START DOIN' THAT.
- 00:13:34.210 --> 00:13:36.140
- WHAT IF SOMEBODY JUST DOESN'T
- 00:13:36.140 --> 00:13:37.090
- CARE ENOUGH TO EVEN ASK THE
- 00:13:37.090 --> 00:13:37.290
- QUESTION?
- 00:13:37.290 --> 00:13:40.250
- HOW DO WE START THIS PROCESS IF
- 00:13:40.250 --> 00:13:41.170
- SOMEONE'S SITTIN' WITH THEIR
- 00:13:41.170 --> 00:13:44.010
- SPOUSE AND DON'T CARE?
- 00:13:47.040 --> 00:13:50.040
- - LES: YEAH, I LOVE THAT
- 00:13:50.040 --> 00:13:50.230
- QUESTION.
- 00:13:50.230 --> 00:13:51.040
- FIRST OF ALL, TO MAKE SURE
- 00:13:51.040 --> 00:13:52.200
- WHEN YOU TAKE THE BETTER LOVE
- 00:13:55.080 --> 00:13:56.040
- ASSESSMENT, YOU GO ONLINE, YOU
- 00:13:56.040 --> 00:13:57.020
- ANSWER A SERIES OF QUESTIONS.
- 00:13:57.020 --> 00:13:58.110
- TAKES ABOUT 10, 15 MINUTES.
- 00:13:58.110 --> 00:13:59.150
- HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU GUYS?
- 00:13:59.150 --> 00:14:00.100
- ABOUT THAT?
- 00:14:00.100 --> 00:14:01.040
- - MATT: IT TOOK ME ABOUT AN
- 00:14:01.040 --> 00:14:01.240
- HOUR.
- 00:14:01.240 --> 00:14:03.170
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:14:03.170 --> 00:14:05.040
- YEAH, IT'S 15, 20 MINUTES.
- 00:14:05.040 --> 00:14:06.180
- - LES: YEAH, WELL, THAT SAYS
- 00:14:06.180 --> 00:14:07.090
- SOMETHIN' ABOUT YOUR
- 00:14:07.090 --> 00:14:08.020
- PERSONALITY.
- 00:14:08.020 --> 00:14:08.150
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:14:08.150 --> 00:14:10.100
- - MATT: I WAS DISTRACTED.
- 00:14:10.100 --> 00:14:11.060
- - LES: WE DON'T EVEN NEED THE
- 00:14:11.060 --> 00:14:12.070
- BUT, NO, SO YOU ANSWER.
- 00:14:14.170 --> 00:14:17.040
- IT TAKES A FEW, YOU KNOW,
- 00:14:17.040 --> 00:14:17.230
- MINUTES TO DO THAT.
- 00:14:17.230 --> 00:14:18.140
- YOU EACH DO IT SEPARATELY,
- 00:14:18.140 --> 00:14:19.190
- IDEALLY WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT
- 00:14:19.190 --> 00:14:21.060
- IT, AND THEN THAT INSTANTLY
- 00:14:21.060 --> 00:14:23.030
- GENERATES THIS TEN-PAGE LITTLE
- 00:14:23.030 --> 00:14:25.260
- REPORT, AND I KNOW AS SOON AS I
- 00:14:25.260 --> 00:14:26.260
- SAY, "A REPORT," LIKE, SOME OF
- 00:14:26.260 --> 00:14:28.120
- OUR VIEWERS ARE GOING LIKE,
- 00:14:28.120 --> 00:14:29.100
- "THAT'S THE LAST THING I WANT IS
- 00:14:29.100 --> 00:14:30.290
- A REPORT ON MY RELATIONSHIP."
- 00:14:30.290 --> 00:14:33.260
- IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF A REPORT.
- 00:14:33.260 --> 00:14:34.180
- IT'S A CUSTOMIZED ROAD MAP FOR
- 00:14:34.180 --> 00:14:35.240
- LIFELONG LOVE.
- 00:14:35.240 --> 00:14:38.080
- THAT'S REALLY WHAT IT IS, AGAIN,
- 00:14:38.080 --> 00:14:39.000
- EVEN IF YOU'RE DATING OR MARRIED
- 00:14:39.000 --> 00:14:40.050
- FOR DECADES.
- 00:14:40.050 --> 00:14:41.140
- AND SO THAT LITTLE REPORT IS
- 00:14:41.140 --> 00:14:43.200
- THE PARAGRAPHS ON YOUR REPORT
- 00:14:48.040 --> 00:14:48.250
- WON'T BE ON ANYBODY ELSE'S
- 00:14:48.250 --> 00:14:50.030
- REPORT BECAUSE THERE'S 40.000
- 00:14:50.030 --> 00:14:52.140
- VARIABLES THAT GO INTO THESE
- 00:14:52.140 --> 00:14:53.140
- LITTLE PARAGRAPHS, SO THERE'S
- 00:14:53.140 --> 00:14:55.010
- LOTS OF LEVERS BEING PULLED THE
- 00:14:55.010 --> 00:14:56.070
- SCENES TO GENERATE WHAT'S ON
- 00:14:56.070 --> 00:14:58.080
- THIS THING, SO, VERY CUSTOMIZED,
- 00:14:58.080 --> 00:14:59.220
- AND SO TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION,
- 00:15:00.220 --> 00:15:03.220
- THERE'S NEVER BEEN A MARRIAGE
- 00:15:03.220 --> 00:15:05.220
- AND THERE NEVER WILL BE AGAIN
- 00:15:09.140 --> 00:15:10.200
- BECAUSE YOU HAVE THIS GOD-GIVEN
- 00:15:10.200 --> 00:15:11.290
- PERSONALITY THAT HAS ALL THIS
- 00:15:11.290 --> 00:15:13.050
- MULTIFACETED STUFF GOIN' ON IN
- 00:15:13.050 --> 00:15:15.140
- THE DNA OF WHO YOU ARE, AND SAME
- 00:15:15.140 --> 00:15:17.060
- WITH YOU, AND YOU BRING THAT
- 00:15:17.060 --> 00:15:18.180
- TOGETHER, AND YOU CREATE A
- 00:15:18.180 --> 00:15:19.200
- CHEMISTRY THAT HAS NEVER EXISTED
- 00:15:19.200 --> 00:15:22.060
- BEFORE, AND IT'S THE SAME FOR
- 00:15:22.060 --> 00:15:24.270
- EVERY COUPLE ON THE PLANET.
- 00:15:24.270 --> 00:15:26.110
- WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT.
- 00:15:26.110 --> 00:15:27.070
- THERE'S NEVER BEEN A
- 00:15:27.070 --> 00:15:28.120
- RELATIONSHIP LIKE YOURS BEFORE.
- 00:15:28.120 --> 00:15:30.020
- THAT'S WHY THIS IS HIGHLY
- 00:15:30.020 --> 00:15:31.040
- CUSTOMIZED.
- 00:15:31.040 --> 00:15:31.220
- SO IF YOU ARE NOW DOWN THE ROAD
- 00:15:31.270 --> 00:15:34.270
- IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND
- 00:15:34.270 --> 00:15:36.110
- SUDDENLY IT'S LIKE, "I DON'T
- 00:15:36.110 --> 00:15:37.230
- KNOW WHAT I SAW IN THIS PERSON,"
- 00:15:37.230 --> 00:15:39.030
- THE QUESTION YOU'RE ASKING IS
- 00:15:39.030 --> 00:15:41.060
- "CAN AN ASSESSMENT TOOL STILL BE
- 00:15:41.060 --> 00:15:42.210
- HELPFUL TO A COUPLE LIKE THAT?"
- 00:15:42.210 --> 00:15:44.150
- RIGHT?
- 00:15:44.150 --> 00:15:46.040
- - LESLIE: YEAH, IT'S ACTUALLY
- 00:15:46.040 --> 00:15:46.250
- PRETTY EPIC BECAUSE, WHEN
- 00:15:47.010 --> 00:15:50.010
- SOMEONE IS DISTANT FROM THE
- 00:15:50.010 --> 00:15:51.080
- RELATIONSHIP, DOESN'T HAVE A LOT
- 00:15:51.080 --> 00:15:52.040
- OF ENERGY, DOESN'T FEEL ENGAGED,
- 00:15:52.040 --> 00:15:53.250
- USUALLY THEY HAVE A SENSE OF
- 00:15:53.250 --> 00:15:54.210
- BOREDOM.
- 00:15:54.210 --> 00:15:55.250
- YOU KNOW, THEY'RE OUT OF TOUCH
- 00:15:55.250 --> 00:15:57.160
- WITH EACH OTHER.
- 00:15:57.160 --> 00:15:58.080
- THEY DON'T FEEL THAT CONNECTION,
- 00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:00.080
- OR MAYBE THEY'RE NUMB BECAUSE
- 00:16:00.080 --> 00:16:02.100
- THEY'VE BEEN HURT, AND THEY'RE
- 00:16:02.100 --> 00:16:03.150
- TRYING TO PROTECT THEMSELF, AND
- 00:16:03.150 --> 00:16:04.130
- SO THIS IS A WINDOW IN.
- 00:16:04.240 --> 00:16:07.240
- THIS IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN
- 00:16:08.050 --> 00:16:11.050
- FIND YOUR CONNECTIONS AGAIN,
- 00:16:11.050 --> 00:16:11.250
- WHERE YOU CAN BE REMINDED OF
- 00:16:11.250 --> 00:16:14.030
- THOSE AND TAKE THEM FURTHER, AND
- 00:16:14.030 --> 00:16:16.050
- AND YOU JUST COME AS YOUR
- 00:16:18.250 --> 00:16:20.000
- AUTHENTIC SELF.
- 00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:21.070
- YOU DON'T PRETEND.
- 00:16:21.070 --> 00:16:22.290
- YOU DON'T ANSWER THE QUESTIONS
- 00:16:22.290 --> 00:16:23.200
- IN ANY WAY THAT ISN'T JUST
- 00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:24.280
- TOTALLY AUTHENTIC.
- 00:16:24.280 --> 00:16:26.170
- AND LIKE YOU SAID, IT'S NOT A
- 00:16:26.170 --> 00:16:27.290
- "REPORT."
- 00:16:27.290 --> 00:16:29.150
- IT'S NOT SOMETHING USED AGAINST
- 00:16:29.150 --> 00:16:30.190
- YOU TO GRADE THE RELATIONSHIP.
- 00:16:30.190 --> 00:16:32.050
- THIS IS A GENTLE GUIDE THAT GETS
- 00:16:32.050 --> 00:16:34.230
- YOU MOVING IN THE DIRECTION THAT
- 00:16:34.230 --> 00:16:36.160
- YOU NEED TO GO.
- 00:16:36.160 --> 00:16:38.170
- WE ALL KNOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO
- 00:16:38.170 --> 00:16:39.150
- WORK ON OUR RELATIONSHIPS, BUT
- 00:16:39.150 --> 00:16:41.030
- WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
- 00:16:41.030 --> 00:16:42.220
- LIKE, "OH, YOU KNOW, IF I'M
- 00:16:42.220 --> 00:16:44.010
- FEELING HURT, I DON'T WANNA WORK
- 00:16:44.010 --> 00:16:45.100
- ON THIS."
- 00:16:45.100 --> 00:16:47.080
- BUT THIS TAKES THAT TO A GENTLE
- 00:16:47.080 --> 00:16:49.290
- PLACE WHERE YOU NOW KNOW
- 00:16:49.290 --> 00:16:51.100
- - LES: YEAH, IN FACT, IT COMES
- 00:16:55.200 --> 00:16:56.120
- WITH A LITTLE GUIDE, AN ACTION
- 00:16:56.120 --> 00:16:57.030
- PLAN, SO YOU CAN PUT IT INTO
- 00:16:57.030 --> 00:16:58.180
- PRACTICE OVER TWO OR THREE DATE
- 00:16:58.180 --> 00:16:59.200
- NIGHTS TOGETHER IF YOU WANT TO
- 00:16:59.200 --> 00:17:01.130
- DO THAT.
- 00:17:01.130 --> 00:17:03.220
- SO IT'S FUN, IT'S UPBEAT, NO
- 00:17:03.220 --> 00:17:04.250
- GUILT, NO SHAME, NO
- 00:17:04.250 --> 00:17:05.110
- FINGER-POINTING, AND NO GRADING.
- 00:17:05.110 --> 00:17:06.190
- YOU CAN'T PASS OR FAIL ON THIS
- 00:17:06.190 --> 00:17:09.010
- THING.
- 00:17:09.010 --> 00:17:10.000
- IT'S JUST INFORMATION.
- 00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:11.180
- IT'S LIKE LOOKIN' IN A MIRROR
- 00:17:11.180 --> 00:17:12.120
- AND GOIN', "OH, DID YOU SEE THAT
- 00:17:12.120 --> 00:17:14.210
- ABOUT US?
- 00:17:14.210 --> 00:17:15.140
- WE SHOULD DO SOMETHIN' ABOUT
- 00:17:15.140 --> 00:17:16.050
- THAT," OR "ISN'T THIS COOL?
- 00:17:16.050 --> 00:17:16.250
- HIGH FIVE.
- 00:17:16.250 --> 00:17:17.060
- WE'RE DOIN' THIS--"
- 00:17:17.060 --> 00:17:17.230
- - MATT: OKAY, WHAT IF THERE'S A
- 00:17:17.230 --> 00:17:18.270
- JIM AND A MADGE, SITTING ON THE
- 00:17:18.270 --> 00:17:21.200
- COUCH RIGHT NOW--
- 00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:23.090
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:17:23.090 --> 00:17:23.230
- - LES: OKAY.
- 00:17:23.230 --> 00:17:24.220
- - MATT: JIM AND MADGE.
- 00:17:24.220 --> 00:17:25.100
- WHAT IF THERE REALLY IS A JIM
- 00:17:25.100 --> 00:17:26.010
- AND A MADGE?
- 00:17:26.010 --> 00:17:26.130
- - LESLIE: THERE PROBABLY IS.
- 00:17:26.130 --> 00:17:27.040
- - LAURIE: HI, JIM AND MADGE.
- 00:17:27.040 --> 00:17:28.060
- - MATT: AND THEY'RE GOIN', "OH,
- 00:17:28.060 --> 00:17:29.010
- MY GOD."
- 00:17:29.010 --> 00:17:29.260
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:17:29.260 --> 00:17:30.140
- SO JIM AND MADGE ARE SITTIN'
- 00:17:30.140 --> 00:17:32.200
- THERE, AND THEY DON'T CARE
- 00:17:32.200 --> 00:17:35.040
- ENOUGH TO DO THIS.
- 00:17:35.040 --> 00:17:37.210
- WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THEM, DOCTOR?
- 00:17:37.210 --> 00:17:38.190
- - LES: WELL, IF THEY DON'T CARE
- 00:17:38.190 --> 00:17:39.280
- ENOUGH TO DO THAT, THEY'RE ON A
- 00:17:39.280 --> 00:17:41.130
- PATH THAT'S GONNA MEAN THAT THE
- 00:17:41.130 --> 00:17:42.240
- RELATIONSHIP'S GONNA FALTER,
- 00:17:42.240 --> 00:17:45.050
- RIGHT?
- 00:17:45.050 --> 00:17:45.210
- I MEAN, IF YOU DON'T CARE-- WE
- 00:17:45.210 --> 00:17:47.250
- ALWAYS SAY THINGS LIKE, "TAKE
- 00:17:47.250 --> 00:17:49.030
- CARE," RIGHT?
- 00:17:49.030 --> 00:17:50.220
- WE'RE KIND OF FLIPPANT WITH
- 00:17:50.220 --> 00:17:51.120
- THAT.
- 00:17:51.120 --> 00:17:52.010
- "CARE" IS THE BEDROCK OF A
- 00:17:52.010 --> 00:17:53.090
- RELATIONSHIP.
- 00:17:53.090 --> 00:17:55.180
- IF YOU DON'T CARE ANYMORE, THE
- 00:17:55.180 --> 00:17:56.090
- RELATIONSHIP IS ATROPHYING.
- 00:17:56.090 --> 00:17:56.290
- IT'S DYING.
- 00:17:56.290 --> 00:17:59.250
- SO THAT'S WHEN YOU GOTTA GO,
- 00:17:59.250 --> 00:18:00.170
- "OH, WHOA, WE ARE ON A-- WE'RE
- 00:18:00.170 --> 00:18:02.060
- PLAYIN' WITH FIRE."
- 00:18:02.060 --> 00:18:03.070
- - LAURIE: NOW YOU NEED THIS
- 00:18:03.070 --> 00:18:04.170
- BOOK.
- 00:18:04.170 --> 00:18:04.290
- - MATT: WELL, CAN YOU
- 00:18:04.290 --> 00:18:05.280
- ACTUALLY-- I DON'T KNOW WHAT
- 00:18:05.280 --> 00:18:07.140
- THAT WOULD BE LIKE.
- 00:18:07.140 --> 00:18:08.220
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT WOULD
- 00:18:08.220 --> 00:18:09.140
- FEEL LIKE.
- 00:18:09.140 --> 00:18:09.290
- I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT WOULD
- 00:18:09.290 --> 00:18:11.070
- FEEL LIKE, BUT IF SOMEBODY'S
- 00:18:11.070 --> 00:18:12.210
- FEELING LIKE THAT, CAN IT GET
- 00:18:12.210 --> 00:18:13.210
- FIXED?
- 00:18:13.210 --> 00:18:15.230
- HAVE YOU SEEN THAT IN YOUR
- 00:18:15.230 --> 00:18:17.210
- CLINICAL PRACTICE?
- 00:18:17.210 --> 00:18:18.240
- - LESLIE: YEAH, I LOVE THIS
- 00:18:18.240 --> 00:18:19.170
- QUESTION.
- 00:18:19.170 --> 00:18:20.290
- - MATT: CAN COMPLETE PEOPLE
- 00:18:20.290 --> 00:18:22.230
- THAT JUST DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER
- 00:18:22.230 --> 00:18:23.220
- OR DON'T CARE, CAN THEY GET OVER
- 00:18:23.220 --> 00:18:24.280
- IT AND GET MOVIN' AGAIN?
- 00:18:24.280 --> 00:18:27.020
- - LESLIE: HERE'S THE POWERFUL
- 00:18:27.020 --> 00:18:28.150
- THING.
- 00:18:28.150 --> 00:18:30.040
- YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE SITTING IN A
- 00:18:30.040 --> 00:18:30.260
- ROOM AND YOU'RE WONDERING--
- 00:18:30.260 --> 00:18:31.180
- FIRST OF ALL, WHEN YOU DON'T
- 00:18:31.180 --> 00:18:32.180
- CARE, IT'S GENERALLY A
- 00:18:32.180 --> 00:18:33.210
- YOU'VE LOST HOPE IS WHAT THAT'S
- 00:18:36.170 --> 00:18:37.180
- SAYING.
- 00:18:37.180 --> 00:18:38.070
- SO THIS DOES REQUIRE A STEP OF
- 00:18:38.070 --> 00:18:40.230
- HOPE, BUT IT ONLY TAKES ONE
- 00:18:40.230 --> 00:18:42.140
- PERSON.
- 00:18:42.140 --> 00:18:43.280
- THE AMAZING THING ABOUT HOW GOD
- 00:18:43.280 --> 00:18:45.050
- HAS CREATED RELATIONSHIPS IS
- 00:18:45.050 --> 00:18:46.120
- WHEN ONE PERSON MAKES ONE BRAVE
- 00:18:49.100 --> 00:18:50.020
- CHOICE, IT IS SYNERGISTIC FOR
- 00:18:50.230 --> 00:18:53.230
- THE WHOLE COUPLE AND CONTAGIOUS
- 00:18:53.230 --> 00:18:54.230
- BECAUSE GOD HAS GIVEN US THIS
- 00:18:54.230 --> 00:18:55.260
- AMAZING THING.
- 00:18:56.210 --> 00:18:59.210
- WE HAVE WHAT'S CALLED "MIRROR
- 00:18:59.210 --> 00:19:00.140
- NEURONS" IN OUR BRAINS, AND WHEN
- 00:19:00.140 --> 00:19:01.220
- OUR SPOUSE STARTS TO TAKE
- 00:19:02.030 --> 00:19:05.030
- OWNERSHIP, WHEN THEY START TO
- 00:19:05.030 --> 00:19:06.070
- INVEST, WHEN THEY START TO CARE,
- 00:19:06.070 --> 00:19:07.270
- WHEN THEY START TO SHOW US
- 00:19:07.270 --> 00:19:09.170
- EMPATHY OR GIVE US ENERGY AND
- 00:19:09.170 --> 00:19:11.190
- ATTENTION, WE CAN'T EVEN RESIST
- 00:19:11.190 --> 00:19:14.020
- IT.
- 00:19:14.020 --> 00:19:15.260
- WE'RE DRAWN TO MATCH THEIR LEVEL
- 00:19:15.260 --> 00:19:17.210
- OF INVESTMENT IN US.
- 00:19:17.210 --> 00:19:19.260
- IT'S JUST THIS BEAUTIFUL GIFT
- 00:19:19.260 --> 00:19:21.250
- GOD'S GIVEN US.
- 00:19:21.250 --> 00:19:23.010
- IT'S GRACE, AND SO ONE PERSON
- 00:19:23.010 --> 00:19:25.040
- MAKES A CHOICE, SAYING, "I'M
- 00:19:25.040 --> 00:19:27.180
- GONNA GO FOR THIS," AND IT MAY
- 00:19:27.180 --> 00:19:28.280
- NOT HAPPEN INSTANTLY, BUT THE
- 00:19:28.280 --> 00:19:30.230
- OTHER SPOUSE WILL BE WOOED BY
- 00:19:30.230 --> 00:19:33.230
- THAT INTO THIS GROWTH PLACE.
- 00:19:33.230 --> 00:19:35.020
- IT'S AMAZING.
- 00:19:35.020 --> 00:19:36.240
- - LES: THAT'S WHY, WHENEVER WE
- 00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:37.160
- HAVE A CHANCE TO TALK TO FOLKS
- 00:19:37.160 --> 00:19:39.070
- ABOUT CONFLICT, WHEN WE
- 00:19:39.070 --> 00:19:40.040
- SOMETIMES DO THIS THING CALLED
- 00:19:40.040 --> 00:19:41.070
- "FIGHT NIGHT," WE'LL SAY, "HEY,
- 00:19:41.070 --> 00:19:42.140
- HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PRIDE
- 00:19:42.140 --> 00:19:43.190
- FIGHT?"
- 00:19:43.190 --> 00:19:44.230
- WELL, YEAH, THEY'RE ALL PRIDE
- 00:19:44.230 --> 00:19:45.140
- FIGHTS, RIGHT?
- 00:19:45.140 --> 00:19:46.290
- AND THAT'S WHAT'S KEEPING YOU
- 00:19:46.290 --> 00:19:48.110
- FROM ENTERING INTO A WORLD OF
- 00:19:48.110 --> 00:19:49.280
- HUMILITY SO THAT YOU CAN CARE
- 00:19:49.280 --> 00:19:51.140
- FOR THE OTHER PERSON, SETTING
- 00:19:51.140 --> 00:19:53.260
- THAT PRIDE ASIDE IN ORDER TO
- 00:19:53.260 --> 00:19:56.100
- SAY, "I SEE YOU, AND ACTUALLY I
- 00:19:56.100 --> 00:19:57.270
- DO CARE ABOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP
- 00:19:57.270 --> 00:19:59.150
- AND THIS LOVE THAT WE HAD AT ONE
- 00:19:59.150 --> 00:20:01.280
- DAY, EVEN IF IT'S JUST FALTERING
- 00:20:01.280 --> 00:20:04.010
- AT THE MOMENT."
- 00:20:04.010 --> 00:20:04.270
- - LAURIE: WOW.
- 00:20:04.270 --> 00:20:05.140
- - MATT: SO-- I LOVE THAT, BY
- 00:20:05.140 --> 00:20:07.170
- THE WAY.
- 00:20:07.170 --> 00:20:08.050
- I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
- 00:20:08.050 --> 00:20:08.210
- SO ONE PERSON CAN START THIS?
- 00:20:08.210 --> 00:20:10.020
- - LES: YEAH, THINK OF IT LIKE A
- 00:20:10.020 --> 00:20:11.070
- MOBILE THAT HANGS FROM THE
- 00:20:11.070 --> 00:20:12.140
- CEILING.
- 00:20:12.140 --> 00:20:13.180
- YOU MOVE ONE LITTLE PIECE OF THE
- 00:20:13.180 --> 00:20:15.210
- MOBILE, AND THE WHOLE THING KIND
- 00:20:15.210 --> 00:20:16.220
- OF SWINGS WILDLY OUT OF CONTROL
- 00:20:16.220 --> 00:20:18.060
- FOR A FEW MINUTES UNTIL IT FINDS
- 00:20:18.060 --> 00:20:19.100
- A NEW, KIND OF, RESTING PLACE,
- 00:20:19.100 --> 00:20:21.120
- AND THE SAME THING HAPPENS IN A
- 00:20:24.020 --> 00:20:25.080
- RELATIONSHIP WHERE ONE PERSON
- 00:20:25.080 --> 00:20:26.200
- CHANGES SOMETHING, SOME KIND
- 00:20:26.200 --> 00:20:27.260
- OF-- SOMETHING IN THE DANCE OF
- 00:20:27.260 --> 00:20:29.020
- THE MARRIAGE OR THE
- 00:20:29.020 --> 00:20:31.040
- RELATIONSHIP.
- 00:20:31.040 --> 00:20:31.200
- THEY CHANGE THEIR DANCE STEP,
- 00:20:31.200 --> 00:20:32.110
- AND THE OTHER PERSON GOES, "OH,
- 00:20:32.110 --> 00:20:33.060
- THAT'S NEW.
- 00:20:33.060 --> 00:20:34.090
- I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN'.
- 00:20:34.090 --> 00:20:35.210
- OKAY, I GUESS I SHOULD KIND OF
- 00:20:35.210 --> 00:20:36.150
- SHIFT OVER HERE NOW."
- 00:20:36.180 --> 00:20:39.180
- WE'RE CONSTANTLY DOING THAT IN
- 00:20:40.250 --> 00:20:41.170
- THE DANCE OF MARRIAGE, AND
- 00:20:41.170 --> 00:20:42.080
- THAT'S WHY ONE PERSON CAN MAKE A
- 00:20:42.080 --> 00:20:43.210
- WORLD OF DIFFERENCE IN HELPING A
- 00:20:43.210 --> 00:20:45.090
- RELATIONSHIP GROW.
- 00:20:45.090 --> 00:20:47.060
- - MATT: WOW, WE'RE TALKING
- 00:20:47.060 --> 00:20:47.290
- ABOUT THE BETTER LOVE
- 00:20:47.290 --> 00:20:48.270
- ASSESSMENT.
- 00:20:48.270 --> 00:20:50.200
- [APPLAUSE]
- 00:20:50.200 --> 00:20:51.170
- WE GOT A LITTLE PROMO.
- 00:20:51.170 --> 00:20:52.050
- WATCH THIS.
- 00:20:52.050 --> 00:20:54.150
- - ANNOUNCER: DO YOU WANT THE
- 00:20:54.150 --> 00:20:55.090
- VERY BEST FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
- 00:20:55.090 --> 00:20:56.180
- DO YOU WANNA GO BENEATH THE
- 00:20:56.180 --> 00:20:57.160
- THEN JOIN
- 00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:01.120
- DRS. LES AND LESLIE PARROTT,
- 00:21:01.120 --> 00:21:02.190
- RENOWNED PSYCHOLOGIST,
- 00:21:02.190 --> 00:21:04.030
- MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST,
- 00:21:04.030 --> 00:21:05.130
- AND NUMBER ONE "NEW YORK TIMES"
- 00:21:05.130 --> 00:21:06.050
- BEST-SELLING AUTHORS
- 00:21:06.050 --> 00:21:07.210
- [MUSIC]
- 00:21:11.260 --> 00:21:12.220
- IT ALL BEGINS WHEN YOU ANSWER
- 00:21:12.220 --> 00:21:13.210
- JUST A FEW QUESTIONS WITH THE
- 00:21:13.210 --> 00:21:14.160
- BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT.
- 00:21:14.160 --> 00:21:16.180
- IT'S EASIER THAN YOU THINK, AND
- 00:21:16.180 --> 00:21:17.150
- DID WE MENTION IT'S FUN?
- 00:21:17.150 --> 00:21:18.290
- WE'LL GIVE YOU A PERSONALIZED
- 00:21:19.000 --> 00:21:22.000
- ACTION PLAN CUSTOMIZED FOR THE
- 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:23.180
- TWO OF YOU.
- 00:21:23.180 --> 00:21:24.060
- YOU'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED
- 00:21:24.060 --> 00:21:25.140
- ANYTHING QUITE LIKE THIS BEFORE.
- 00:21:25.140 --> 00:21:26.290
- ENJOY BETTER CONVERSATIONS,
- 00:21:26.290 --> 00:21:28.210
- BETTER INTIMACY, AND BETTER
- 00:21:28.210 --> 00:21:30.210
- PASSION, STARTING TODAY.
- 00:21:30.210 --> 00:21:32.200
- IT ALL BEGINS WHEN YOU TAKE THE
- 00:21:32.200 --> 00:21:34.010
- BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT.
- 00:21:34.010 --> 00:21:35.010
- [MUSIC]
- 00:21:35.010 --> 00:21:36.110
- WITH YOU BY MY SIDE,
- 00:21:36.110 --> 00:21:38.040
- THERE'S NO PLACE THAT WE
- 00:21:38.040 --> 00:21:39.130
- CAN'T GO
- 00:21:39.130 --> 00:21:41.200
- THIS IS THE START OF SOMETHIG
- 00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:44.050
- - MATT: BETTER LOVE.
- 00:21:55.010 --> 00:21:57.060
- THE ASSESSMENT WE'RE GONNA--
- 00:21:57.060 --> 00:21:58.130
- LAURIE AND I DID IT.
- 00:21:58.130 --> 00:22:00.070
- WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT HERE
- 00:22:00.070 --> 00:22:01.210
- IN A SECOND.
- 00:22:01.210 --> 00:22:02.230
- - LES: I HAVE YOUR RESULTS
- 00:22:02.230 --> 00:22:03.130
- RIGHT HERE.
- 00:22:03.130 --> 00:22:03.250
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:22:03.250 --> 00:22:06.120
- - MATT: CAREFUL.
- 00:22:06.120 --> 00:22:06.270
- - LESLIE: YES, GOING TO THE
- 00:22:06.270 --> 00:22:07.170
- HIGHEST BIDDER.
- 00:22:07.170 --> 00:22:09.110
- - LES: I COULD MAKE A LOT OF
- 00:22:09.110 --> 00:22:10.020
- MONEY IF WE HAD--
- 00:22:10.020 --> 00:22:10.170
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:22:10.170 --> 00:22:11.050
- - MATT: CAREFUL WITH THAT.
- 00:22:11.050 --> 00:22:12.120
- HOW LONG AGO WAS EHARMONY A
- 00:22:12.120 --> 00:22:13.130
- BRAND-NEW THOUGHT?
- 00:22:13.140 --> 00:22:16.140
- WHEN DID THAT START?
- 00:22:16.140 --> 00:22:17.110
- 'CAUSE IT FEELS LIKE IT'S BEEN
- 00:22:17.110 --> 00:22:18.230
- AROUND FOREVER.
- 00:22:18.230 --> 00:22:19.250
- - LES: IT REALLY DOES.
- 00:22:19.250 --> 00:22:20.130
- TWENTY YEARS AGO, OR MORE, A
- 00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:23.160
- LITTLE BIT MORE THAN THAT, I
- 00:22:23.160 --> 00:22:25.020
- GUESS, NEIL CLARK WARREN IS THE
- 00:22:25.020 --> 00:22:26.140
- FOUNDER OF EHARMONY--
- 00:22:26.140 --> 00:22:28.280
- INCREDIBLE.
- 00:22:28.280 --> 00:22:29.120
- ONE NIGHT,
- 00:22:31.150 --> 00:22:31.260
- WE WERE HAVING DINNER AT THEIR
- 00:22:31.260 --> 00:22:32.170
- HOME WITH HIS WIFE.
- 00:22:32.170 --> 00:22:33.160
- MARYLYN, AND HE SAID, "YOU KNOW
- 00:22:33.160 --> 00:22:34.140
- THIS NEW THING CALLED THE
- 00:22:34.140 --> 00:22:35.030
- INTERNET?
- 00:22:35.030 --> 00:22:35.220
- I WONDER IF WE COULD USE THAT IN
- 00:22:35.230 --> 00:22:38.230
- ANY WAY TO HELP COUPLES MATCH
- 00:22:38.230 --> 00:22:39.260
- FOR LIFELONG LOVE?"
- 00:22:39.260 --> 00:22:40.190
- AND THAT TURNED INTO A LONG
- 00:22:40.190 --> 00:22:42.000
- CONVERSATION, AND THE COMPANY
- 00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:44.140
- WAS EVENTUALLY BORN, BUT IT WAS
- 00:22:44.140 --> 00:22:46.090
- HIS GENIUS THAT MADE THAT HAPPEN
- 00:22:46.090 --> 00:22:48.280
- ON MATCHING PEOPLE ON CERTAIN
- 00:22:50.270 --> 00:22:53.270
- DIMENSIONS.
- 00:22:53.270 --> 00:22:54.130
- - MATT: DO YOU REMEMBER HOW
- 00:22:54.130 --> 00:22:55.040
- MANY PEOPLE ACTUALLY JOINED AT
- 00:22:55.040 --> 00:22:55.260
- ONE POINT, I MEAN, OVER THE
- 00:22:55.260 --> 00:22:56.160
- WHOLE COURSE OF THE--
- 00:22:56.160 --> 00:22:57.030
- - LES: WAIT-- THIS IS A QUIZ,
- 00:22:57.030 --> 00:22:57.240
- OKAY.
- 00:22:57.240 --> 00:22:58.030
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:22:58.030 --> 00:22:59.210
- I DON'T KNOW, BUT I JUST KNOW
- 00:22:59.210 --> 00:23:00.140
- THAT IT WAS SO STARTLING, THE
- 00:23:00.140 --> 00:23:01.260
- NUMBERS, 'CAUSE IT WAS THE FIRST
- 00:23:01.260 --> 00:23:04.180
- WE HAVE SO MANY OTHER THINGS
- 00:23:06.270 --> 00:23:08.050
- THAT HAVE, KIND OF, TRIED TO
- 00:23:08.050 --> 00:23:08.250
- COMPETE WITH IT THESE DAYS, BUT
- 00:23:08.250 --> 00:23:11.170
- IT WAS SO PHENOMENAL.
- 00:23:11.170 --> 00:23:12.040
- THE GROWTH JUST TOOK OFF LIKE A
- 00:23:12.040 --> 00:23:13.200
- HOCKEY STICK, AND WE HAD AS MANY
- 00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:14.120
- AS OVER 500 WEDDINGS PER DAY ON
- 00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:17.160
- AVERAGE AS A RESULT OF MATCHES,
- 00:23:17.160 --> 00:23:18.210
- AND I THINK IT WAS SOMETHING
- 00:23:18.210 --> 00:23:19.110
- LIKE 5% OF ALL WEDDINGS IN
- 00:23:19.110 --> 00:23:22.000
- NORTH AMERICA WERE THE RESULT OF
- 00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:22.260
- - MATT: OH, MY GOODNESS.
- 00:23:26.230 --> 00:23:27.120
- OKAY, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
- 00:23:27.120 --> 00:23:28.010
- BETTER LOVE, BUT WHAT'S
- 00:23:28.010 --> 00:23:28.190
- INTERESTING ABOUT WHAT THE
- 00:23:28.190 --> 00:23:30.060
- PARROTTS HAVE DONE IS THEY HAVE
- 00:23:30.060 --> 00:23:32.030
- AN ASSESSMENT CALLED YADA, WHICH
- 00:23:32.130 --> 00:23:35.130
- MEANS--
- 00:23:35.130 --> 00:23:36.210
- - LES: "YADA" IS A HEBREW WORD.
- 00:23:36.210 --> 00:23:38.150
- IT'S USED OVER A THOUSAND TIMES
- 00:23:38.150 --> 00:23:39.270
- IN SCRIPTURE, AND IT MEANS "TO
- 00:23:39.270 --> 00:23:41.060
- KNOW," AND IN THAT SENSE, IT
- 00:23:41.060 --> 00:23:43.260
- MEANS TO KNOW WITH YOUR HEAD AS
- 00:23:43.260 --> 00:23:44.210
- WELL AS YOUR HEART, TO KNOW GOD
- 00:23:44.210 --> 00:23:46.000
- AT THAT KIND OF LEVEL, AND SO
- 00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:47.240
- THE YADA ASSESSMENT IS FOR
- 00:23:47.240 --> 00:23:49.150
- SINGLE ADULTS, AND THEY CAN
- 00:23:49.150 --> 00:23:51.020
- FIND-- LIKE, COLLEGE STUDENTS,
- 00:23:51.020 --> 00:23:52.290
- EVEN LATE HIGH SCHOOL YEARS,
- 00:23:52.290 --> 00:23:54.100
- ONWARD, IT'S TO KNOW THEMSELVES
- 00:23:54.100 --> 00:23:55.220
- AND TO KNOW OTHERS AND BE KNOWN
- 00:23:55.250 --> 00:23:58.250
- BY OTHERS.
- 00:23:58.250 --> 00:24:00.130
- AND YOU'VE HEARD THE PHRASE,
- 00:24:00.130 --> 00:24:01.180
- "YADA, YADA, YADA"?
- 00:24:01.180 --> 00:24:02.080
- - MATT: YEAH.
- 00:24:02.080 --> 00:24:02.210
- - LES: RIGHT, THAT'S WHERE THAT
- 00:24:02.210 --> 00:24:04.110
- YIDDISH PHRASE IS COMING FROM:
- 00:24:04.110 --> 00:24:05.090
- "YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW."
- 00:24:05.090 --> 00:24:06.090
- - MATT: OKAY, SO, BASICALLY,
- 00:24:06.090 --> 00:24:07.230
- RELATIONSHIPS START EITHER DOING
- 00:24:07.230 --> 00:24:09.050
- THE BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT OR
- 00:24:09.160 --> 00:24:12.160
- DOING THE YADA ASSESSMENT,
- 00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:14.200
- KNOWING YOURSELF?
- 00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:15.130
- - LES: RIGHT.
- 00:24:15.130 --> 00:24:17.080
- - MATT: AND KNOWING ABOUT THE
- 00:24:17.080 --> 00:24:17.290
- OTHER PERSON GIVES YOU
- 00:24:17.290 --> 00:24:19.060
- INFORMATION.
- 00:24:19.060 --> 00:24:21.150
- OKAY, THE SYMBIS, "SAVE YOUR
- 00:24:21.150 --> 00:24:23.070
- MARRIAGE BEFORE IT STARTS,"
- 00:24:23.070 --> 00:24:23.270
- THAT'S ANOTHER ASSESSMENT, AND
- 00:24:23.270 --> 00:24:24.180
- THAT'S REALLY FOR, KIND OF,
- 00:24:24.180 --> 00:24:26.060
- PROFESSIONALS OR LEADERSHIP
- 00:24:26.060 --> 00:24:27.040
- TYPES?
- 00:24:27.040 --> 00:24:28.190
- - LES: YEAH, I APPRECIATE YOU
- 00:24:28.190 --> 00:24:29.180
- ASKING US ABOUT THIS.
- 00:24:29.180 --> 00:24:30.120
- THE SYMBIS ASSESSMENT, YEARS
- 00:24:30.120 --> 00:24:32.050
- AGO, LESLIE AND I WROTE A BOOK
- 00:24:32.050 --> 00:24:33.110
- CALLED "SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE
- 00:24:33.110 --> 00:24:34.280
- BEFORE IT STARTS," AND WHEN THAT
- 00:24:34.280 --> 00:24:35.230
- REACHED AN IMPORTANT MILESTONE--
- 00:24:36.240 --> 00:24:39.240
- I THINK IT WAS TWO MILLION
- 00:24:39.240 --> 00:24:41.230
- COPIES-- OUR PUBLISHER SAID,
- 00:24:41.230 --> 00:24:42.190
- "HEY, LET'S UPDATE THIS AND
- 00:24:42.190 --> 00:24:43.090
- REVISE IT," WHICH, AS YOU MIGHT
- 00:24:43.090 --> 00:24:44.010
- KNOW, IS SOMETIMES
- 00:24:44.010 --> 00:24:45.010
- PUBLISHER-SPEAK FOR "LET'S PUT A
- 00:24:45.010 --> 00:24:46.190
- NEW COVER ON IT," YOU KNOW?
- 00:24:46.190 --> 00:24:47.270
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:24:47.270 --> 00:24:48.110
- AND SO WE SAID, "NO, LET'S DO IT
- 00:24:48.110 --> 00:24:50.020
- RIGHT," AND WE DID A MASSIVE
- 00:24:50.020 --> 00:24:51.200
- RESEARCH PROJECT AROUND
- 00:24:52.050 --> 00:24:55.050
- NORTH AMERICA AND BEYOND.
- 00:24:55.050 --> 00:24:56.010
- TO FIND OUT, BASICALLY,
- 00:24:56.010 --> 00:24:57.070
- WHAT ARE CHURCHES IN
- 00:24:57.070 --> 00:24:58.120
- PARTICULAR DOING,
- 00:24:58.120 --> 00:24:59.160
- COUNSELORS DOING, WHEN IT COMES
- 00:24:59.160 --> 00:25:00.230
- TO PREPARING COUPLES FOR
- 00:25:00.230 --> 00:25:01.290
- LIFELONG LOVE, AND THAT'S WHEN
- 00:25:01.290 --> 00:25:03.070
- WE SAW THIS HUGE NEED, RIGHT?
- 00:25:03.070 --> 00:25:05.080
- - LESLIE: YEAH, THE CHURCH WAS
- 00:25:05.080 --> 00:25:06.130
- ASKING TO BE EQUIPPED TO TAKE
- 00:25:06.130 --> 00:25:07.200
- BUT TO MEET THEM AT THE PLACE
- 00:25:10.100 --> 00:25:11.210
- THAT, SORT OF, IT LOOKED THE WAY
- 00:25:11.210 --> 00:25:12.230
- THEY WANTED IT TO AND FELT
- 00:25:12.230 --> 00:25:14.060
- COMFORTABLE FOR THEM, WHERE IT
- 00:25:14.060 --> 00:25:15.260
- WOULD BE WINSOME AND DRAW THEM
- 00:25:15.260 --> 00:25:17.070
- IN.
- 00:25:17.070 --> 00:25:17.270
- - LES: AND SO WHAT WE WANNA DO
- 00:25:17.270 --> 00:25:19.080
- IS BUILD A WORLD-CLASS TOOL FOR
- 00:25:19.080 --> 00:25:20.170
- THE CHURCH AND FOR COUNSELORS
- 00:25:20.170 --> 00:25:21.270
- AND COACHES AND MENTORS, TO GET
- 00:25:24.090 --> 00:25:25.100
- TRAINED AND CERTIFIED.
- 00:25:25.100 --> 00:25:27.070
- TAKES THREE HOURS ONLINE.
- 00:25:27.070 --> 00:25:29.050
- YOU GET TRAINED AND CERTIFIED IN
- 00:25:29.050 --> 00:25:31.100
- HOW TO USE THE TOOL, THE SYMBIS
- 00:25:31.100 --> 00:25:32.040
- ASSESSMENT, AND THEN YOU CAN
- 00:25:32.040 --> 00:25:33.280
- INVITE COUPLES TO THIS REALLY
- 00:25:33.280 --> 00:25:35.090
- FULL-FEATURED DASHBOARD-- IT'S
- 00:25:35.090 --> 00:25:36.180
- AWESOME-- AND MANAGE THE COUPLES
- 00:25:36.180 --> 00:25:38.160
- IN YOUR CARE, INVITE THEM TO
- 00:25:38.160 --> 00:25:39.260
- TAKE THE ASSESSMENT, AND THEN
- 00:25:39.260 --> 00:25:40.230
- UNPACK THE RESULTS WITH THEM.
- 00:25:40.230 --> 00:25:42.020
- - MATT: OKAY, LOVE THIS.
- 00:25:42.020 --> 00:25:43.180
- OKAY, ALL THIS STUFF IS
- 00:25:43.180 --> 00:25:44.060
- FANTASTIC FOR RELATIONSHIPS, BUT
- 00:25:44.060 --> 00:25:46.140
- BEFORE WE START TALKING ABOUT
- 00:25:46.140 --> 00:25:49.060
- US, I WANNA ASK YOU GUYS SOME
- 00:25:49.060 --> 00:25:50.160
- QUESTIONS.
- 00:25:50.160 --> 00:25:52.050
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:25:52.050 --> 00:25:52.210
- YOU'RE BOTH DOCTORS, RIGHT?
- 00:25:52.210 --> 00:25:53.110
- - LES: YEAH, I THINK YOU'VE
- 00:25:53.110 --> 00:25:54.010
- MENTIONED THAT A FEW TIMES,
- 00:25:54.010 --> 00:25:54.210
- YEAH.
- 00:25:54.210 --> 00:25:55.170
- - MATT: WRITE BOOKS ABOUT LOVE,
- 00:25:55.170 --> 00:25:56.090
- RIGHT?
- 00:25:56.090 --> 00:25:56.180
- - LES: YEAH.
- 00:25:56.180 --> 00:25:57.010
- - MATT: SO YOU GUYS ARE STUCK.
- 00:25:57.010 --> 00:25:57.230
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:25:57.230 --> 00:25:58.040
- YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN?
- 00:25:58.040 --> 00:26:00.020
- - LESLIE: WE'RE NOT GOIN'
- 00:26:00.020 --> 00:26:00.240
- ANYWHERE.
- 00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:01.080
- - MATT: YEAH, RIGHT, WELL,
- 00:26:01.080 --> 00:26:01.280
- YOU'RE STUCK, OKAY?
- 00:26:01.280 --> 00:26:02.240
- SO WHAT DO YOU DO TO SOLVE
- 00:26:02.240 --> 00:26:05.000
- CONFLICT IN YOUR MARRIAGE?
- 00:26:07.010 --> 00:26:10.010
- BECAUSE YOU'RE BOTH DOCTORS, SO
- 00:26:10.010 --> 00:26:10.230
- YOU'RE THINKIN' AHEAD OF EACH
- 00:26:10.230 --> 00:26:11.260
- OTHER, YOU KNOW?
- 00:26:11.260 --> 00:26:13.080
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:26:13.080 --> 00:26:13.210
- AND YOU'RE ONE STEP AHEAD.
- 00:26:13.210 --> 00:26:14.220
- - LAURIE: WAR OF THE MINDS.
- 00:26:14.220 --> 00:26:15.290
- - LESLIE: WOULD YOU LOVE TO BE
- 00:26:15.290 --> 00:26:17.110
- MARRIED TO A THERAPIST?
- 00:26:17.110 --> 00:26:18.050
- - MATT: OH, WOW, NO, YEAH.
- 00:26:18.050 --> 00:26:19.060
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:26:19.060 --> 00:26:20.200
- WHAT DOES HE DO THAT BUGS YOU?
- 00:26:21.210 --> 00:26:24.210
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:26:24.210 --> 00:26:25.080
- - LES: OH, I LOVE THIS
- 00:26:25.080 --> 00:26:26.130
- QUESTION.
- 00:26:26.130 --> 00:26:27.040
- - LESLIE: OH, YEAH, I LOVE IT.
- 00:26:27.040 --> 00:26:27.260
- - LES: LET'S HEAR THIS, YEAH.
- 00:26:27.260 --> 00:26:29.010
- - LESLIE: WELL, YOU KNOW,
- 00:26:29.010 --> 00:26:29.220
- HERE'S WHERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE
- 00:26:29.220 --> 00:26:30.210
- HEADED BECAUSE IT IS KIND OF
- 00:26:30.210 --> 00:26:32.060
- FUNNY WHEN YOU'RE BOTH
- 00:26:32.060 --> 00:26:32.250
- THERAPISTS BECAUSE, WHEN WE HAVE
- 00:26:32.250 --> 00:26:34.100
- A TOTAL MELTDOWN THAT COMES JUST
- 00:26:34.100 --> 00:26:36.130
- OUT OF THE BLUE, LIKE, YOU
- 00:26:36.130 --> 00:26:37.160
- KNOW--
- 00:26:37.160 --> 00:26:38.240
- - MATT: LIKE, WHEN WAS THE LAST
- 00:26:38.240 --> 00:26:39.160
- ONE?
- 00:26:39.160 --> 00:26:39.240
- - LESLIE: IT HAPPENS.
- 00:26:39.240 --> 00:26:42.120
- - LES: OH, LET'S SEE HERE.
- 00:26:42.120 --> 00:26:43.020
- IT WOULD'VE BEEN--
- 00:26:43.020 --> 00:26:43.170
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:26:43.170 --> 00:26:43.280
- - LESLIE: THERE WAS THE
- 00:26:43.280 --> 00:26:44.160
- HUMIDIFIER INCIDENT AFTER A LONG
- 00:26:44.160 --> 00:26:45.220
- TRIP.
- 00:26:45.220 --> 00:26:47.090
- - LES: YOU'RE GONNA BRING THAT
- 00:26:47.090 --> 00:26:48.010
- UP?
- 00:26:48.010 --> 00:26:48.090
- OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
- 00:26:48.090 --> 00:26:48.230
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:26:48.230 --> 00:26:50.180
- - LESLIE: I MEAN, WHO WOULD
- 00:26:50.180 --> 00:26:51.080
- THINK A HUMIDIFIER COULD TURN
- 00:26:51.080 --> 00:26:51.290
- INTO A MARRIAGE MELTDOWN?
- 00:26:51.290 --> 00:26:52.210
- BUT IT DID.
- 00:26:52.210 --> 00:26:54.060
- BUT HERE'S THE FUNNY THING.
- 00:26:54.060 --> 00:26:56.010
- - LES: ARE YOU GONNA TELL THE
- 00:26:56.010 --> 00:26:56.220
- STORY?
- 00:26:56.220 --> 00:26:57.050
- - MATT: YEAH, YES, SHE IS.
- 00:26:57.050 --> 00:26:57.270
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:26:57.270 --> 00:26:58.100
- GO AHEAD.
- 00:26:58.100 --> 00:26:59.270
- - LESLIE: HERE'S THE THING.
- 00:26:59.270 --> 00:27:00.190
- - MATT: YES.
- 00:27:00.190 --> 00:27:01.020
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:27:01.020 --> 00:27:02.030
- [APPLAUSE]
- 00:27:02.030 --> 00:27:03.150
- - MATT: PROCEED, MA'AM.
- 00:27:03.150 --> 00:27:04.150
- - LESLIE: IT'S NOT EVEN A
- 00:27:04.150 --> 00:27:05.050
- STORY, BUT HE WAS GONE, AND HE'S
- 00:27:05.050 --> 00:27:07.200
- THE ONE THAT SETS UP THE
- 00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:08.260
- HUMIDIFIER AT NIGHT--
- 00:27:08.260 --> 00:27:10.170
- - LES: RIGHT.
- 00:27:10.170 --> 00:27:13.100
- - LESLIE: -- AND SO I REALLY
- 00:27:13.100 --> 00:27:14.010
- MISSED IT.
- 00:27:14.010 --> 00:27:14.120
- - LES: IN THE BEDROOM,
- 00:27:14.120 --> 00:27:15.000
- IN SEATTLE.
- 00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:15.120
- YES, JUST IN THE WINTER
- 00:27:15.120 --> 00:27:17.120
- MONTHS--
- 00:27:17.120 --> 00:27:19.090
- - LESLIE: YOU NEED IT-- YES.
- 00:27:19.090 --> 00:27:20.020
- - LAURIE: OH, OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
- 00:27:20.020 --> 00:27:21.080
- - LES: -- WHEN THE HEAT'S ON
- 00:27:21.080 --> 00:27:22.210
- AND-- YEAH.
- 00:27:22.210 --> 00:27:24.100
- - LESLIE: AND I HAD MISSED IT,
- 00:27:24.100 --> 00:27:25.020
- AND SO HE CAME HOME TIRED AND
- 00:27:25.020 --> 00:27:25.250
- LATE AND PERCEIVED MY REQUESTING
- 00:27:25.250 --> 00:27:27.000
- THAT HE SET IT UP-- 'CAUSE I'D
- 00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:28.110
- MISSED IT SO MUCH-- AS SORT OF A
- 00:27:28.110 --> 00:27:29.160
- NAG, LIKE, THAT YOU WEREN'T
- 00:27:29.160 --> 00:27:31.140
- TAKING CARE OF ME.
- 00:27:31.140 --> 00:27:33.120
- - LES: IT DIDN'T COME OFF IN A
- 00:27:33.120 --> 00:27:34.050
- GOOD SPIRIT.
- 00:27:34.050 --> 00:27:34.210
- - LESLIE: DIDN'T COME OFF IN
- 00:27:34.210 --> 00:27:35.260
- A-- IT WAS MY TONE.
- 00:27:35.260 --> 00:27:37.100
- - LES: IT WAS MEAN.
- 00:27:37.100 --> 00:27:38.210
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:27:38.210 --> 00:27:39.090
- - LESLIE: I THOUGHT I WAS
- 00:27:39.090 --> 00:27:40.080
- TELLING HIM--
- 00:27:40.080 --> 00:27:40.220
- - MATT: OKAY, NOW WE'RE GETTIN'
- 00:27:40.220 --> 00:27:41.150
- SOMEWHERE, OKAY.
- 00:27:41.150 --> 00:27:41.290
- - LESLIE: I THOUGHT I WAS
- 00:27:41.290 --> 00:27:42.270
- TELLING HIM HOW MUCH I'D LOVED
- 00:27:42.270 --> 00:27:45.090
- THIS LITTLE ACT OF SERVICE HE
- 00:27:45.090 --> 00:27:46.120
- DOES FOR ME EVERY DAY AND, JUST,
- 00:27:46.120 --> 00:27:48.000
- I MISSED IT, BUT HE THOUGHT I
- 00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:49.110
- WAS SAYING--
- 00:27:49.110 --> 00:27:50.220
- - LES: YEAH, THAT I HAD LET YOU
- 00:27:50.220 --> 00:27:52.150
- DOWN IN SOME--
- 00:27:52.150 --> 00:27:53.000
- - LESLIE: "YOU ABANDONED ME IN
- 00:27:53.000 --> 00:27:53.220
- NOT DOING YOUR JOB."
- 00:27:53.220 --> 00:27:54.080
- - LES: RIGHT.
- 00:27:54.080 --> 00:27:54.230
- - LESLIE: SO WE HAD A FIGHT
- 00:27:54.230 --> 00:27:55.130
- BUT--
- 00:27:55.130 --> 00:27:56.070
- - LES: YOU KNOW, THE--
- 00:27:56.070 --> 00:27:57.090
- - MATT: I LIKE THAT PART.
- 00:27:57.090 --> 00:27:58.030
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:27:58.030 --> 00:27:58.160
- KEEP GOIN'.
- 00:27:58.160 --> 00:27:59.020
- - LES: I'LL TELL YOU ANOTHER
- 00:27:59.020 --> 00:28:00.180
- ONE THAT HAPPENED RECENTLY
- 00:28:00.180 --> 00:28:01.130
- BECAUSE--
- 00:28:01.130 --> 00:28:02.060
- - MATT: YEAH, PLEASE.
- 00:28:02.060 --> 00:28:02.270
- - LES: -- THIS IS-- SOMETIMES
- 00:28:02.270 --> 00:28:03.290
- CONFLICT CREEPS UP WITH A-- EVEN
- 00:28:03.290 --> 00:28:05.250
- WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO HAVE A
- 00:28:05.250 --> 00:28:07.120
- NICE MOMENT TOGETHER, AND I WAS
- 00:28:07.120 --> 00:28:09.180
- JUST THINKIN' ABOUT THIS 'CAUSE
- 00:28:09.180 --> 00:28:10.250
- YOU SAID THAT I CAME HOME-- WE
- 00:28:10.250 --> 00:28:12.010
- BOTH CAME HOME FROM A TRIP NOT
- 00:28:12.010 --> 00:28:13.140
- TOO LONG AGO--
- 00:28:13.140 --> 00:28:15.100
- - LESLIE: YEAH, THOSE ARE PRIME
- 00:28:15.100 --> 00:28:16.020
- MOMENTS WHEN YOU'RE ROAD WARY.
- 00:28:16.020 --> 00:28:17.070
- - LES: YEAH, AND LESLIE, OUT OF
- 00:28:17.070 --> 00:28:18.180
- THE BLUE-- WE WERE BOTH
- 00:28:18.180 --> 00:28:19.180
- EXHAUSTED AND, YOU KNOW, YOU GOT
- 00:28:19.180 --> 00:28:21.030
- ALL THE DIRTY CLOTHES IN THE
- 00:28:21.030 --> 00:28:22.110
- SUITCASES AND STUFF, AND
- 00:28:22.110 --> 00:28:23.190
- SOMEHOW--
- 00:28:23.190 --> 00:28:24.230
- - LESLIE: TIRED AND HUNGRY.
- 00:28:24.230 --> 00:28:26.080
- AND I JUST PERCEIVED HE REALLY
- 00:28:26.080 --> 00:28:27.220
- NEEDED SOME TLC, AND I GOT
- 00:28:27.220 --> 00:28:29.220
- EXCITED ABOUT JUST-- ALL I DID
- 00:28:29.220 --> 00:28:30.280
- WAS MAKE HIM A SIMPLE,
- 00:28:30.280 --> 00:28:32.100
- NOURISHING, HEALTHY-- 'CAUSE
- 00:28:32.100 --> 00:28:34.090
- WHEN YOU'RE ON THE ROAD, THAT
- 00:28:34.090 --> 00:28:35.000
- CAN BE HARD-- BREAKFAST.
- 00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:36.050
- - LES: A BOWL OF OATMEAL AND
- 00:28:36.050 --> 00:28:36.290
- FRUIT, AND IT'S JUST DISPLAYED
- 00:28:36.290 --> 00:28:37.260
- ALL NICELY.
- 00:28:37.260 --> 00:28:38.160
- IT'S LIKE, "WHOA, WHERE DID YOU
- 00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:39.200
- GET THE ENERGY TO DO THIS?"
- 00:28:39.200 --> 00:28:41.010
- AND SO I WAS GUSHING WITH
- 00:28:41.010 --> 00:28:43.040
- APPRECIATION TOWARD HER, AND HER
- 00:28:43.040 --> 00:28:45.060
- LOVE LANGUAGE IS WORDS OF
- 00:28:45.060 --> 00:28:46.100
- AFFIRMATION--
- 00:28:46.100 --> 00:28:46.250
- - LESLIE: YES, IT IS.
- 00:28:46.250 --> 00:28:47.260
- - LES: -- AND SO THAT'S HOW I
- 00:28:47.260 --> 00:28:48.220
- MANIPULATE HER.
- 00:28:48.220 --> 00:28:49.230
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:28:49.230 --> 00:28:50.110
- - LESLIE: SO TRUE.
- 00:28:50.110 --> 00:28:50.270
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:28:52.090 --> 00:28:55.090
- [APPLAUSE]
- 00:28:55.090 --> 00:28:56.230
- - MATT: WE'LL TALK LATER.
- 00:28:56.230 --> 00:28:57.120
- - LESLIE: SO TRUE.
- 00:28:57.120 --> 00:28:59.050
- - LES: THANKS TO GARY CHAPMAN.
- 00:28:59.050 --> 00:29:01.110
- - MATT: YEAH, LOVE GARY.
- 00:29:01.110 --> 00:29:02.050
- THANK YOU.
- 00:29:02.050 --> 00:29:02.270
- - LES: BUT I WASN'T.
- 00:29:02.270 --> 00:29:03.140
- IT WAS GENUINE.
- 00:29:03.140 --> 00:29:03.280
- I WAS, JUST, LIKE--
- 00:29:03.280 --> 00:29:04.140
- - LESLIE: YEAH.
- 00:29:04.140 --> 00:29:04.290
- - LES: AND SO THAT ENERGIZED
- 00:29:04.290 --> 00:29:05.270
- HER, AND SHE SAID, "WELL, I'M
- 00:29:05.270 --> 00:29:06.180
- GONNA GO GET YOUR LAUNDRY DONE."
- 00:29:06.180 --> 00:29:07.140
- LIKE, SHE'S THINKIN', "MAN, IF
- 00:29:07.140 --> 00:29:08.170
- THIS IS SO--"
- 00:29:08.170 --> 00:29:09.090
- - LESLIE: YEAH, SO I MADE THIS
- 00:29:09.090 --> 00:29:10.290
- ANNOUNCEMENT BECAUSE I WAS SO
- 00:29:10.290 --> 00:29:12.250
- ENERGIZED BY HIS EARLIER
- 00:29:12.250 --> 00:29:15.060
- AFFIRMATION ON THE BREAKFAST,
- 00:29:15.060 --> 00:29:16.120
- AND I WAITED FOR HIS REACTION.
- 00:29:16.120 --> 00:29:17.270
- AS I'M HEADED TO THE LAUNDRY
- 00:29:17.270 --> 00:29:19.030
- ROOM, JUST HOPING FOR MORE
- 00:29:19.030 --> 00:29:20.180
- AFFIRMATION, THIS IS WHAT HE
- 00:29:20.180 --> 00:29:22.210
- GAVE ME--
- 00:29:22.210 --> 00:29:23.090
- [SLOW CLAPPING]
- 00:29:23.090 --> 00:29:24.110
- - LES: THAT'S NOT WHAT I DID--
- 00:29:24.110 --> 00:29:25.030
- - LESLIE: -- AS I'M WALKING--
- 00:29:25.030 --> 00:29:25.240
- - LES: -- BUT THAT'S WHAT SHE
- 00:29:25.240 --> 00:29:26.150
- THINKS I DID.
- 00:29:26.150 --> 00:29:26.280
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:29:26.280 --> 00:29:27.280
- BUT SHE'S ROUNDING THE CORNER.
- 00:29:27.280 --> 00:29:28.250
- SHE'S HEADED BACK TO THE LAUNDRY
- 00:29:28.250 --> 00:29:29.270
- ROOM, AND I'M-- YOU KNOW, I GOT
- 00:29:29.270 --> 00:29:32.110
- MY MOUTH FULL OF OATMEAL AND
- 00:29:32.110 --> 00:29:33.240
- STUFF, AND SO I-- ANYWAY, SHE
- 00:29:33.240 --> 00:29:35.150
- CAME BACK AND YOU ACTUALLY
- 00:29:35.150 --> 00:29:37.180
- TEARED UP BACK IN THE LAUNDRY
- 00:29:37.180 --> 00:29:38.130
- ROOM, RIGHT?
- 00:29:38.130 --> 00:29:38.290
- - LESLIE: YEAH, BECAUSE I GOT
- 00:29:38.290 --> 00:29:39.260
- BACK THERE AND THOUGHT, "HE
- 00:29:39.260 --> 00:29:40.230
- DOESN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT.
- 00:29:40.230 --> 00:29:41.240
- WHY AM I BACK HERE DOING THIS?
- 00:29:41.240 --> 00:29:43.010
- I'M EXHAUSTED.
- 00:29:43.010 --> 00:29:43.250
- HE SHOULD BE BACK HERE DOIN'
- 00:29:43.250 --> 00:29:45.160
- SOMETHIN' FOR ME."
- 00:29:45.160 --> 00:29:46.010
- - LES: AND SO SHE CAME OUT, AND
- 00:29:46.010 --> 00:29:47.070
- I COULD TELL SHE'S BEEN CRYING,
- 00:29:47.070 --> 00:29:48.030
- AND I SAID-- LIKE, YOU CAN
- 00:29:48.030 --> 00:29:49.250
- ALWAYS TELL WHEN YOUR WIFE'S
- 00:29:49.250 --> 00:29:50.150
- BEEN CRYING, RIGHT?
- 00:29:50.150 --> 00:29:53.110
- AND I SAID--
- 00:29:53.110 --> 00:29:53.230
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:29:53.230 --> 00:29:54.040
- - LAURIE: NO.
- 00:29:54.040 --> 00:29:54.270
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:29:54.270 --> 00:29:55.090
- - LES: SO I SAID, "WHAT'S
- 00:29:55.090 --> 00:29:56.030
- WRONG?"
- 00:29:56.030 --> 00:29:56.220
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:29:56.220 --> 00:29:57.050
- NO, NOT ALL-- NOT HIM-- NO
- 00:29:57.050 --> 00:29:57.240
- EMPATHY ON HIS PART?
- 00:29:57.240 --> 00:29:58.290
- I FORGOT, YEAH.
- 00:29:58.290 --> 00:29:59.200
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:01.100
- - MATT: WE'RE NOT TALKIN' ABOUT
- 00:30:01.100 --> 00:30:02.020
- US RIGHT NOW.
- 00:30:02.020 --> 00:30:02.150
- WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT YOU.
- 00:30:02.150 --> 00:30:04.230
- YOU'RE THE GUEST.
- 00:30:04.230 --> 00:30:05.100
- I'M THE HOST.
- 00:30:05.100 --> 00:30:05.290
- OKAY.
- 00:30:05.290 --> 00:30:07.000
- - LES: MAN, I ALMOST HAD THAT
- 00:30:07.000 --> 00:30:09.070
- ONE.
- 00:30:09.070 --> 00:30:11.080
- - MATT: YEAH.
- 00:30:11.080 --> 00:30:12.050
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:30:12.050 --> 00:30:13.000
- - LES: BUT I SAID, "WHAT'S
- 00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:13.200
- WRONG?
- 00:30:13.200 --> 00:30:14.230
- AND SHE SAID, "NOTHING."
- 00:30:14.230 --> 00:30:15.110
- AND I SAID,
- 00:30:15.110 --> 00:30:17.010
- "WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE
- 00:30:17.010 --> 00:30:17.170
- YOU'VE BEEN CRYING."
- 00:30:17.170 --> 00:30:18.030
- SHE SAID,
- 00:30:18.030 --> 00:30:19.150
- "WELL, I HAVE A LITTLE BIT."
- 00:30:19.150 --> 00:30:20.050
- I SAID,
- 00:30:20.050 --> 00:30:20.150
- "WHAT HAPPENED BACK THERE?"
- 00:30:20.150 --> 00:30:21.050
- YOU KNOW, BACK IN THE LAUNDRY
- 00:30:21.050 --> 00:30:21.260
- ROOM.
- 00:30:21.260 --> 00:30:22.050
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:30:22.050 --> 00:30:22.160
- AND SHE SAID, "IT'S NOT WHAT
- 00:30:22.160 --> 00:30:25.060
- HAPPENED BACK THERE.
- 00:30:25.060 --> 00:30:26.000
- IT'S WHAT HAPPENED OUT HERE."
- 00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:27.030
- AND I SAID, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"
- 00:30:27.030 --> 00:30:28.070
- SHE SAID, "WELL, I TOLD YOU I
- 00:30:28.070 --> 00:30:29.140
- WAS GONNA DO YOUR LAUNDRY, AND
- 00:30:29.140 --> 00:30:30.120
- YOU GAVE ME THAT SARCASTIC
- 00:30:30.120 --> 00:30:31.060
- CLAP."
- 00:30:31.060 --> 00:30:33.000
- I SAID, "I DIDN'T CLAP.
- 00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:34.080
- I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO CLAP IN
- 00:30:34.080 --> 00:30:35.200
- A SARCASTIC WAY," YOU KNOW?
- 00:30:35.200 --> 00:30:37.050
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:30:37.050 --> 00:30:37.200
- - MATT: I DON'T EITHER, BY THE
- 00:30:37.200 --> 00:30:40.090
- WAY.
- 00:30:40.090 --> 00:30:40.230
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:30:40.230 --> 00:30:41.180
- - LES: I SAID, "MY MOUTH WAS
- 00:30:41.180 --> 00:30:42.170
- FULL OF OATMEAL.
- 00:30:42.170 --> 00:30:44.040
- YOU WERE MOVIN' SO QUICKLY.
- 00:30:44.040 --> 00:30:45.120
- I WAS TRYIN' TO PUT MY SPOON
- 00:30:45.120 --> 00:30:46.250
- DOWN AND, LIKE, SAY, "THANK
- 00:30:46.250 --> 00:30:47.250
- YOU," AND ALL I COULD DO WAS
- 00:30:47.250 --> 00:30:48.230
- APPLAUD YOU AS YOU WERE LEAVING
- 00:30:48.230 --> 00:30:49.290
- THE ROOM"--
- 00:30:49.290 --> 00:30:51.240
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:30:51.240 --> 00:30:53.080
- -- AND SHE SAID, "WELL, IT CAME
- 00:30:53.080 --> 00:30:54.100
- OFF REALLY SARCASTIC."
- 00:30:54.110 --> 00:30:57.110
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:30:57.110 --> 00:30:58.090
- - MATT: OH, MY GOD.
- 00:30:58.090 --> 00:31:00.160
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:31:00.160 --> 00:31:01.030
- - LAURIE: I LOVE YOU.
- 00:31:01.030 --> 00:31:02.120
- - LESLIE: THANK YOU.
- 00:31:02.120 --> 00:31:03.080
- SEE, THAT'S WHAT I NEEDED.
- 00:31:03.080 --> 00:31:05.110
- [APPLAUSE]
- 00:31:05.110 --> 00:31:05.290
- - LAURIE: I GET IT.
- 00:31:05.290 --> 00:31:07.010
- I'M HERE FOR YA, BABY.
- 00:31:07.010 --> 00:31:08.040
- - LES: SO THEN WE PROCEED TO
- 00:31:08.040 --> 00:31:09.120
- HAVE ONE OF THOSE LOVELY
- 00:31:09.120 --> 00:31:10.280
- CONVERSATIONS FOR 20 MINUTES
- 00:31:10.280 --> 00:31:12.120
- ABOUT HOW, APPARENTLY, I DON'T
- 00:31:12.120 --> 00:31:13.160
- CLAP THE RIGHT WAY, YOU KNOW?
- 00:31:13.160 --> 00:31:14.230
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:31:14.230 --> 00:31:15.060
- - LESLIE: WE DO ACTUALLY
- 00:31:15.270 --> 00:31:18.270
- SOMETIMES SAY TO EACH OTHER,
- 00:31:18.270 --> 00:31:20.040
- "OKAY, LET'S TAKE A BREAK," AND
- 00:31:20.040 --> 00:31:21.110
- THEN WE HAVE WHAT WE'VE STARTED
- 00:31:21.110 --> 00:31:23.020
- TO TERM "A CONVERSATIONAL
- 00:31:23.020 --> 00:31:25.250
- AUTOPSY," 'CAUSE IT'S LIKE,
- 00:31:25.250 --> 00:31:27.000
- "WHAT?"
- 00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:28.100
- - LES: LIKE, "WHAT JUST
- 00:31:28.100 --> 00:31:28.280
- HAPPENED?
- 00:31:28.280 --> 00:31:29.090
- HOW DID THIS DIE?"
- 00:31:29.090 --> 00:31:30.170
- - LESLIE: YEAH, "SOMETHING
- 00:31:30.170 --> 00:31:31.200
- DIED, AND LET'S FIGURE IT OUT"
- 00:31:31.200 --> 00:31:33.000
- BECAUSE--
- 00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:33.120
- - LES: AND IN THAT SITUATION,
- 00:31:33.120 --> 00:31:34.030
- HERE WE WERE, BOTH TRYING TO
- 00:31:34.030 --> 00:31:34.290
- BLESS EACH OTHER, RIGHT?
- 00:31:34.290 --> 00:31:35.170
- I WANTED HER TO KNOW HOW MUCH I
- 00:31:35.170 --> 00:31:36.090
- APPRECIATE.
- 00:31:36.090 --> 00:31:36.210
- YOU WERE OBVIOUSLY BLESSING ME,
- 00:31:36.210 --> 00:31:37.130
- AND, YET WE HAVE A CONFLICT IN
- 00:31:37.130 --> 00:31:38.110
- THE MIDST OF THAT, RIGHT?
- 00:31:38.110 --> 00:31:39.240
- - LESLIE: YEAH, RIGHT.
- 00:31:39.240 --> 00:31:40.150
- - MATT: SO IT HAPPENS TO YOU
- 00:31:40.150 --> 00:31:41.120
- TOO?
- 00:31:41.120 --> 00:31:42.050
- - LES: YES, IT DOES HAPPEN.
- 00:31:42.050 --> 00:31:43.060
- - LESLIE: YES.
- 00:31:43.060 --> 00:31:43.210
- - MATT: IT HAPPENS TO--
- 00:31:43.210 --> 00:31:46.000
- - LES: BUT ONLY ONCE OR TWICE A
- 00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:46.220
- DAY SO--
- 00:31:46.220 --> 00:31:47.020
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:31:47.020 --> 00:31:48.170
- OH, WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE?
- 00:31:48.170 --> 00:31:49.060
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:31:49.150 --> 00:31:52.150
- NOW, THIS IS WHAT WE CALL A
- 00:31:52.150 --> 00:31:54.160
- "THERAPEUTIC MOMENT."
- 00:31:54.160 --> 00:31:56.110
- WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE?
- 00:31:56.110 --> 00:31:57.040
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:31:57.040 --> 00:31:57.210
- - LAURIE: RIGHT.
- 00:31:57.210 --> 00:31:58.060
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:31:58.060 --> 00:31:59.060
- [APPLAUSE]
- 00:31:59.060 --> 00:32:01.060
- - MATT: BY THE WAY, THAT WAS
- 00:32:01.060 --> 00:32:01.270
- KIND OF SCARY, THAT LOOK SHE
- 00:32:01.270 --> 00:32:03.100
- JUST GAVE ME, HOLY SMOKES.
- 00:32:03.100 --> 00:32:04.250
- - LAURIE: WHAT'D YOU CALL IT?
- 00:32:04.250 --> 00:32:05.160
- "THERAPEUTIC--" WHAT?
- 00:32:05.160 --> 00:32:06.260
- - LES: "MOMENT."
- 00:32:06.260 --> 00:32:07.290
- - MATT: YEAH.
- 00:32:07.290 --> 00:32:08.140
- - LES: YEAH, THERE WAS, LIKE, A
- 00:32:08.140 --> 00:32:09.150
- LOT OF COMMUNICATION WITHOUT
- 00:32:09.150 --> 00:32:10.050
- ANY--
- 00:32:10.050 --> 00:32:10.210
- - LAURIE: NO, YOU SAID, "AN
- 00:32:10.210 --> 00:32:11.110
- AUTOPSY."
- 00:32:11.110 --> 00:32:12.030
- - LESLIE: OH, A "CONVERSATIONAL
- 00:32:12.030 --> 00:32:12.250
- AUTOPSY."
- 00:32:12.250 --> 00:32:13.060
- - LAURIE: WE NEED A
- 00:32:13.060 --> 00:32:14.030
- CONVERSATIONAL AUTOPSY.
- 00:32:14.030 --> 00:32:14.210
- HOW DO YOU DO THAT CALMLY?
- 00:32:14.210 --> 00:32:16.200
- - MATT: WELL, WHEN YOU WERE
- 00:32:16.200 --> 00:32:18.070
- TALKING JUST NOW, IT MADE ME
- 00:32:18.070 --> 00:32:19.230
- THINK OF SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED
- 00:32:19.230 --> 00:32:21.060
- THE OTHER DAY AT HOME, BUT I
- 00:32:21.080 --> 00:32:24.080
- DON'T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED,
- 00:32:24.080 --> 00:32:25.150
- BUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
- 00:32:25.150 --> 00:32:27.220
- - LAURIE: I DO.
- 00:32:27.220 --> 00:32:28.060
- - LESLIE: YOU DO.
- 00:32:28.060 --> 00:32:28.210
- YOU KNOW EXACTLY.
- 00:32:28.210 --> 00:32:29.060
- - MATT: OKAY, WHAT HAPPENED?
- 00:32:29.060 --> 00:32:29.270
- 'CAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER.
- 00:32:29.270 --> 00:32:30.150
- - LAURIE: ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT
- 00:32:30.150 --> 00:32:31.070
- IN COLORADO, THE OTHER DAY, IN
- 00:32:31.070 --> 00:32:33.020
- FRONT OF EVERYBODY?
- 00:32:33.020 --> 00:32:33.210
- - LES: WELL, YES, THAT'S WHAT
- 00:32:33.210 --> 00:32:35.200
- WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
- 00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:36.060
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:32:36.060 --> 00:32:36.200
- - MATT: CRAP, I CAN'T REMEMBER
- 00:32:36.200 --> 00:32:38.250
- WHAT SHE'S TALKIN' ABOUT.
- 00:32:38.250 --> 00:32:39.250
- WHAT?
- 00:32:39.250 --> 00:32:40.090
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:32:40.090 --> 00:32:42.180
- OKAY, WHAT'RE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
- 00:32:42.180 --> 00:32:43.100
- - LES: THE ONE IN COLORADO.
- 00:32:43.100 --> 00:32:44.210
- - LAURIE: WHEN YOU YELLED AT ME
- 00:32:44.210 --> 00:32:45.210
- IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY.
- 00:32:45.210 --> 00:32:47.190
- - MATT: OKAY, WHEN?
- 00:32:47.190 --> 00:32:48.230
- WHAT'RE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
- 00:32:48.230 --> 00:32:49.120
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:32:49.120 --> 00:32:51.110
- - LAURIE: I HAVE WITNESSES.
- 00:32:51.110 --> 00:32:52.020
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:32:52.020 --> 00:32:54.000
- - MATT: OKAY, OKAY, FIRST OF
- 00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:54.210
- ALL, WHERE WERE WE?
- 00:32:54.210 --> 00:32:55.200
- WHAT'RE YOU TALKIN'--
- 00:32:55.200 --> 00:32:56.070
- - LAURIE: OKAY, SO WE WERE IN
- 00:32:56.070 --> 00:32:57.060
- COLORADO, STANDIN' THERE WITH
- 00:32:57.060 --> 00:32:58.080
- ALL OF OUR BUNCH OF STAFF THERE
- 00:32:58.280 --> 00:33:02.000
- IN COLORADO, AND I WAS LOOKING
- 00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:04.090
- AT MY SON BECAUSE HE WAS COPPING
- 00:33:04.090 --> 00:33:05.220
- AN ATTITUDE, AND SO I'M LOOKING
- 00:33:05.220 --> 00:33:06.270
- BACK.
- 00:33:06.270 --> 00:33:08.170
- MATT'S TALKING, SO HERE COMES MY
- 00:33:08.170 --> 00:33:09.270
- POOR LITTLE SON.
- 00:33:09.270 --> 00:33:12.030
- HE GETS INVOLVED, AND I'M LIKE,
- 00:33:12.030 --> 00:33:13.040
- GOIN'-- AND I KEEP LOOKIN' AT
- 00:33:13.040 --> 00:33:15.160
- CODY, AND MATT YELLS AT ME.
- 00:33:15.160 --> 00:33:17.240
- - MATT: OH, I REMEMBER.
- 00:33:17.240 --> 00:33:18.260
- - LAURIE: HE GOES, "WHY DO YOU
- 00:33:18.260 --> 00:33:20.240
- KEEP LOOKIN' AT HIM?"
- 00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:21.190
- AND SO I'M THINKIN' CODY'S GONNA
- 00:33:21.190 --> 00:33:22.140
- GET IN TROUBLE, AND ALL OF A
- 00:33:22.140 --> 00:33:23.250
- SUDDEN, I GET YELLED AT.
- 00:33:23.250 --> 00:33:24.250
- - LESLIE: YOU'RE MAMA BEAR.
- 00:33:24.250 --> 00:33:25.240
- - LAURIE: SO, BOY, JUST-- AND
- 00:33:25.240 --> 00:33:27.020
- EVERYONE, JUST, QUIET, REAL
- 00:33:27.020 --> 00:33:28.190
- QUIET.
- 00:33:28.230 --> 00:33:31.230
- EVERYONE GOES SILENT, YOU KNOW?
- 00:33:31.230 --> 00:33:33.060
- THEN, OF COURSE, I HAVE TO BE
- 00:33:33.060 --> 00:33:35.160
- NICE TO EVERYBODY AND LOVE ON
- 00:33:35.160 --> 00:33:36.170
- EVERYBODY, AND THEN THE DAY
- 00:33:36.170 --> 00:33:39.150
- GOES.
- 00:33:39.150 --> 00:33:41.080
- WE GET HOME, BACK TO CALIFORNIA
- 00:33:41.080 --> 00:33:42.000
- AND SO--
- 00:33:42.000 --> 00:33:44.290
- - MATT: YOU'RE STILL BEIN' A
- 00:33:44.290 --> 00:33:45.200
- JERK.
- 00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:46.100
- - LAURIE: -- I'M STILL-- OKAY,
- 00:33:46.100 --> 00:33:47.080
- SO NOW I'M BEING THE JERK 'CAUSE
- 00:33:47.080 --> 00:33:48.000
- I'M BEING QUIET, AND I SAID,
- 00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:49.140
- "YOU YELLED AT ME IN FRONT OF--"
- 00:33:49.140 --> 00:33:50.230
- HE GOES, "I DID NOT."
- 00:33:50.230 --> 00:33:52.140
- - MATT: YEAH.
- 00:33:52.140 --> 00:33:54.260
- - LAURIE: AND I SAID, "YES, YOU
- 00:33:54.260 --> 00:33:55.200
- DID."
- 00:33:55.200 --> 00:33:56.220
- EXCUSE ME, DID HE YELL AT
- 00:33:56.220 --> 00:33:57.260
- ME IN FRONT-- JUST GIVE ME A
- 00:33:57.260 --> 00:33:58.170
- BIG, "HEY."
- 00:33:58.170 --> 00:33:59.060
- - MALE: HEY.
- 00:33:59.060 --> 00:34:00.260
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:34:01.030 --> 00:34:04.030
- - LAURIE: I HAVE FOUR GOOD
- 00:34:04.030 --> 00:34:04.260
- WITNESSES.
- 00:34:04.260 --> 00:34:07.220
- - LES: THAT WASN'T MUCH OF A
- 00:34:07.220 --> 00:34:08.130
- WITNESS.
- 00:34:08.130 --> 00:34:09.290
- - MATT: YEAH, THAT WAS NOT MUCH
- 00:34:09.290 --> 00:34:10.210
- OF--
- 00:34:10.210 --> 00:34:11.080
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:34:11.080 --> 00:34:11.210
- - LAURIE: CAYLAN, DID HE YELL
- 00:34:11.210 --> 00:34:12.130
- AT ME?
- 00:34:12.130 --> 00:34:12.220
- MIRANDA?
- 00:34:12.220 --> 00:34:13.110
- - LESLIE: IT'S MY TURN TO HUG
- 00:34:13.110 --> 00:34:14.030
- YOU.
- 00:34:14.030 --> 00:34:14.110
- - LAURIE: OKAY, THANK YOU.
- 00:34:14.110 --> 00:34:15.010
- [APPLAUSE]
- 00:34:15.010 --> 00:34:15.120
- I NEEDED IT.
- 00:34:15.120 --> 00:34:15.240
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:34:15.240 --> 00:34:16.050
- [APPLAUSE]
- 00:34:17.140 --> 00:34:20.140
- [MATT FAKE CRYING]
- 00:34:21.190 --> 00:34:24.190
- - MATT: OH, GOD IN HEAVEN.
- 00:34:24.190 --> 00:34:26.120
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:34:26.120 --> 00:34:27.280
- - LAURIE: IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE
- 00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:28.220
- TALKIN' ABOUT?
- 00:34:28.220 --> 00:34:29.060
- - MATT: I DON'T KNOW.
- 00:34:29.060 --> 00:34:29.230
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:34:29.230 --> 00:34:30.040
- - LAURIE: THEY NEVER THINK
- 00:34:30.040 --> 00:34:31.050
- ANYTHING'S WRONG.
- 00:34:31.050 --> 00:34:31.200
- - LES: WHAT IS THIS INTERVIEW
- 00:34:31.200 --> 00:34:33.260
- ABOUT?
- 00:34:33.260 --> 00:34:34.080
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:34:35.130 --> 00:34:38.130
- - MATT: I DON'T KNOW-- GOD.
- 00:34:38.130 --> 00:34:40.060
- SO WHAT'S INTERESTING ABOUT WHEN
- 00:34:40.060 --> 00:34:40.290
- YOU GUYS WERE TELLING THAT
- 00:34:40.290 --> 00:34:41.180
- STORY, FOR REAL, IT MADE ME
- 00:34:41.180 --> 00:34:42.080
- REMEMBER AN EMOTION.
- 00:34:42.080 --> 00:34:45.030
- - LAURIE & LESLIE: MM.
- 00:34:45.030 --> 00:34:46.120
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:34:46.120 --> 00:34:46.270
- - MATT: I COULDN'T REMEMBER
- 00:34:46.270 --> 00:34:47.170
- WHAT IT WAS, BUT I REMEMBER THE
- 00:34:47.170 --> 00:34:48.090
- EMOTION OF BEING MISUNDERSTOOD.
- 00:34:50.140 --> 00:34:53.140
- - LES & LESLIE: RIGHT.
- 00:34:53.140 --> 00:34:54.040
- - MATT: AND THAT'S WHAT
- 00:34:54.040 --> 00:34:54.220
- HAPPENS, ISN'T IT?
- 00:34:54.220 --> 00:34:55.130
- - LESLIE: YES.
- 00:34:55.130 --> 00:34:56.230
- - MATT: YOU KNOW, YOUR
- 00:34:56.230 --> 00:34:57.110
- SARCASTIC CLAP, APPARENTLY,
- 00:34:57.110 --> 00:34:58.060
- WHICH I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT
- 00:34:58.060 --> 00:34:59.240
- THAT IS--
- 00:34:59.240 --> 00:35:00.120
- - LES: RIGHT, WELL, YOUR ELBOWS
- 00:35:00.120 --> 00:35:01.180
- HAVE TO GO OUT A LITTLE BIT.
- 00:35:01.180 --> 00:35:03.100
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:35:03.100 --> 00:35:05.240
- - LESLIE: OH, GOODNESS.
- 00:35:05.240 --> 00:35:07.190
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:35:07.190 --> 00:35:10.090
- - LAURIE: IT'S ABOUT THAT
- 00:35:10.090 --> 00:35:10.280
- AUTOPSY.
- 00:35:10.280 --> 00:35:11.210
- - LES: OR THERE'S THIS ONE.
- 00:35:11.210 --> 00:35:12.110
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:35:12.110 --> 00:35:13.280
- I THINK WE'VE SEEN THAT IN
- 00:35:13.280 --> 00:35:15.140
- CONGRESS, MAYBE.
- 00:35:15.140 --> 00:35:17.150
- - MATT: I JUST REMEMBERED THE
- 00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:21.000
- EMOTION OF IT THAT THERE WAS
- 00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:23.060
- SOME MISCUE--
- 00:35:23.060 --> 00:35:24.180
- - LAURIE: MM-HMM, YOUR MOUTH.
- 00:35:24.180 --> 00:35:26.040
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:35:26.040 --> 00:35:27.050
- - MATT: -- THAT YOU GET INTO A
- 00:35:27.050 --> 00:35:27.270
- MISCUE WHEN YOU DON'T MEAN IT
- 00:35:27.270 --> 00:35:28.290
- THAT WAY.
- 00:35:28.290 --> 00:35:29.250
- - LESLIE: RIGHT.
- 00:35:29.250 --> 00:35:30.100
- - MATT: IT'S USUALLY THAT THERE
- 00:35:30.100 --> 00:35:31.150
- IS JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING.
- 00:35:31.150 --> 00:35:32.250
- - LAURIE: YOU JUST NEED TO
- 00:35:32.250 --> 00:35:33.150
- LOWER YOUR TONE.
- 00:35:33.150 --> 00:35:34.060
- - MATT: SO WHAT HAPPENED?
- 00:35:34.060 --> 00:35:35.150
- WHAT DO WE DO TO FIX THAT?
- 00:35:35.150 --> 00:35:37.040
- - LES: YEAH, I LOVE THAT
- 00:35:37.040 --> 00:35:38.240
- BECAUSE THAT'S EXACT-- IT'S LIKE
- 00:35:38.240 --> 00:35:40.210
- A COMPUTER, RIGHT?
- 00:35:40.210 --> 00:35:41.080
- YOU GET IMPRINTED WITH
- 00:35:41.080 --> 00:35:42.060
- SOMETHING.
- 00:35:42.060 --> 00:35:42.210
- EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T REMEMBER
- 00:35:42.210 --> 00:35:44.260
- I REMEMBER THE FEELING I HAD
- 00:35:47.120 --> 00:35:48.020
- TOWARD THAT PERSON, EVEN THOUGH
- 00:35:48.020 --> 00:35:48.240
- I CAN'T REALLY REMEMBER HIS NAME
- 00:35:48.240 --> 00:35:49.160
- OR ANYTHING ELSE.
- 00:35:49.160 --> 00:35:50.010
- - LAURIE: YEAH, NOBODY LIKES
- 00:35:50.010 --> 00:35:50.220
- THE FEELING.
- 00:35:50.220 --> 00:35:51.040
- - LES: RIGHT.
- 00:35:51.040 --> 00:35:51.170
- AND THOSE FEELINGS HAVE A WAY OF
- 00:35:52.140 --> 00:35:53.060
- COMING BACK AND CATCHING US OFF
- 00:35:53.060 --> 00:35:53.280
- GUARD.
- 00:35:53.280 --> 00:35:54.070
- - LES: RIGHT, AS WE LIKE TO
- 00:35:54.070 --> 00:35:54.270
- SAY, "NEGATIVE FEELINGS HAVE A
- 00:35:54.270 --> 00:35:55.210
- HIGH RATE OF RESURRECTION,"
- 00:35:55.210 --> 00:35:56.110
- RIGHT?
- 00:35:56.110 --> 00:35:58.260
- - LAURIE: LIKE ON THIS SHOW.
- 00:35:58.260 --> 00:35:59.170
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:36:00.230 --> 00:36:03.230
- OH, WE MADE UP SO IT'S OKAY.
- 00:36:03.230 --> 00:36:04.180
- - LES: HE'S NOT KISSIN'.
- 00:36:04.180 --> 00:36:05.100
- - LAURIE: I NOTICED THAT.
- 00:36:05.100 --> 00:36:08.020
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:36:08.020 --> 00:36:08.150
- - MATT: SHE DOESN'T WANT HER
- 00:36:08.150 --> 00:36:09.060
- LIPSTICK--
- 00:36:09.060 --> 00:36:09.240
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:36:09.240 --> 00:36:10.160
- - LES: THAT'S IT, YOU GOT IT.
- 00:36:10.160 --> 00:36:11.070
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:36:11.070 --> 00:36:11.180
- - MATT: OH, MY GOD.
- 00:36:11.180 --> 00:36:14.170
- OKAY, WOULD YOU JUST PICK UP THE
- 00:36:14.170 --> 00:36:15.090
- STUPID ASSESSMENT AND FIX US?
- 00:36:15.090 --> 00:36:16.000
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:17.210
- YEAH, OKAY, I'M READY TO BE
- 00:36:17.210 --> 00:36:18.240
- FIXED.
- 00:36:18.240 --> 00:36:19.070
- - LES: LET'S DO IT.
- 00:36:19.070 --> 00:36:19.230
- RIGHT HERE.
- 00:36:19.230 --> 00:36:20.080
- I WILL TELL YOU, THOSE FEELINGS,
- 00:36:20.080 --> 00:36:21.250
- THEY--
- 00:36:21.250 --> 00:36:23.220
- - MATT: I'M EMOTIONALLY SPENT.
- 00:36:23.220 --> 00:36:24.240
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:36:24.240 --> 00:36:26.240
- - LES: WE MIGHT HAVE TO CHARGE
- 00:36:26.240 --> 00:36:27.160
- YOU GUYS FOR THIS SESSION.
- 00:36:27.160 --> 00:36:28.050
- - MATT: SERIOUSLY.
- 00:36:28.050 --> 00:36:28.280
- HAH, WHATEVER IT IS,
- 00:36:28.280 --> 00:36:30.090
- WE'LL PAY IT.
- 00:36:30.090 --> 00:36:31.100
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:36:31.100 --> 00:36:33.090
- I'D RATHER JUST WRITE YOU A
- 00:36:33.090 --> 00:36:34.120
- CHECK.
- 00:36:34.120 --> 00:36:35.040
- [APPLAUSE]
- 00:36:35.040 --> 00:36:36.250
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:36:36.250 --> 00:36:38.080
- - LAURIE: CAN YOU BUY EMPATHY?
- 00:36:38.080 --> 00:36:39.160
- - MATT: OH, MY GOD.
- 00:36:39.160 --> 00:36:41.150
- - LES: SO I DO HOLD IN MY HANDS
- 00:36:41.150 --> 00:36:44.090
- THE BETTER LOVE REPORT THAT YOU
- 00:36:44.090 --> 00:36:45.230
- GUYS HAD, AND, AGAIN, IT'S
- 00:36:45.230 --> 00:36:47.200
- REALLY A ROAD MAP, BUT LET'S
- 00:36:47.200 --> 00:36:48.280
- HIGHLIGHT SOMETHING HERE IF YOU
- 00:36:48.280 --> 00:36:50.090
- GUYS ARE WILLING TO SHARE IT
- 00:36:50.090 --> 00:36:51.280
- 'CAUSE IT'S NONTHREATENING.
- 00:36:51.280 --> 00:36:53.110
- IT STARTS WITH PERSONALITY,
- 00:36:53.110 --> 00:36:54.100
- BASICALLY, HOW GOD DESIGNED THE
- 00:36:54.100 --> 00:36:56.020
- TWO OF YOU, AND WE REVEAL IT
- 00:36:56.020 --> 00:36:58.230
- HERE IN THIS LITTLE PINWHEEL OF
- 00:36:58.230 --> 00:37:00.050
- PERSONALITY.
- 00:37:00.050 --> 00:37:01.250
- THERE'S EIGHT DIFFERENT TYPES:
- 00:37:01.250 --> 00:37:02.230
- YOU CAN BE A "PIONEERING
- 00:37:02.230 --> 00:37:04.030
- SPOUSE"-- THAT'S WHAT I AM; AN
- 00:37:05.060 --> 00:37:08.060
- "AFFIRMING SPOUSE," AN
- 00:37:08.060 --> 00:37:08.240
- "ENERGIZING SPOUSE," AND YOU'RE
- 00:37:08.240 --> 00:37:09.160
- AN "AFFIRMING SPOUSE."
- 00:37:09.160 --> 00:37:10.230
- - MATT: OKAY.
- 00:37:10.230 --> 00:37:11.120
- - LES: YOU ARE AN "UNWAVERING
- 00:37:11.120 --> 00:37:12.060
- SPOUSE."
- 00:37:12.060 --> 00:37:13.110
- - MATT: WAIT, WAIT, WHO'S WHO?
- 00:37:13.110 --> 00:37:15.170
- WHICH ONE IS WHO?
- 00:37:15.170 --> 00:37:17.060
- - LAURIE: WHO'S AFFIRMING?
- 00:37:17.060 --> 00:37:17.260
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:37:17.260 --> 00:37:19.250
- - LES: LET ME MAKE SURE I'M
- 00:37:19.250 --> 00:37:20.270
- READIN' IT RIGHT HERE.
- 00:37:20.270 --> 00:37:21.150
- YOU ARE UNWAVERING.
- 00:37:21.150 --> 00:37:23.010
- SO THIS MEANS THAT YOU ARE,
- 00:37:23.010 --> 00:37:23.240
- RELATIVE TO HIM--
- 00:37:23.240 --> 00:37:25.290
- - LAURIE: ME?
- 00:37:25.290 --> 00:37:26.120
- - LES: YES.
- 00:37:26.120 --> 00:37:26.260
- - LAURIE: I'M UNWAVERING?
- 00:37:26.260 --> 00:37:27.290
- - LES: YES, YOU'RE VERY LOYAL.
- 00:37:27.290 --> 00:37:28.210
- - LAURIE: YES, I AM.
- 00:37:28.210 --> 00:37:29.130
- - LES: YOU'RE VERY COMMITTED.
- 00:37:29.130 --> 00:37:30.170
- YOU HAVE PREDICTABLE-- LIKE,
- 00:37:30.170 --> 00:37:31.240
- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
- 00:37:31.240 --> 00:37:33.060
- CHANGED THE FURNITURE IN YOUR
- 00:37:33.060 --> 00:37:33.270
- HOUSE?
- 00:37:33.270 --> 00:37:34.170
- DO YOU CHANGE IT?
- 00:37:34.170 --> 00:37:35.200
- - LAURIE: NO.
- 00:37:35.200 --> 00:37:36.230
- - LES: NOT VERY OFTEN?
- 00:37:36.230 --> 00:37:37.120
- - LAURIE: MM-MM.
- 00:37:37.120 --> 00:37:37.270
- - LES: RIGHT, YOU LIKE IT HOW
- 00:37:37.270 --> 00:37:38.180
- IT IS, RIGHT?
- 00:37:38.180 --> 00:37:39.150
- - MATT: WOW.
- 00:37:39.150 --> 00:37:39.290
- - LES: HOW ABOUT WHEN YOU GO
- 00:37:39.290 --> 00:37:40.200
- HOME TONIGHT?
- 00:37:40.200 --> 00:37:41.030
- YOU SWITCH THE SIDES OF THE BED
- 00:37:41.030 --> 00:37:41.250
- WITH EACH OTHER?
- 00:37:41.250 --> 00:37:42.130
- ARE YOU OPEN TO THAT?
- 00:37:42.130 --> 00:37:43.030
- - MATT: OH, GOD, NO.
- 00:37:43.030 --> 00:37:44.060
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:37:44.060 --> 00:37:45.250
- - LAURIE: BUT, IN HOTEL ROOMS,
- 00:37:45.250 --> 00:37:47.120
- IT DOESN'T MATTER IN HOTEL
- 00:37:47.120 --> 00:37:49.070
- ROOMS.
- 00:37:49.070 --> 00:37:50.030
- - LES: WE DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT
- 00:37:50.030 --> 00:37:50.250
- GOES ON.
- 00:37:50.250 --> 00:37:51.130
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:37:53.250 --> 00:37:56.250
- - MATT: IT DOESN'T SAY ON
- 00:37:56.250 --> 00:37:57.140
- THERE, DOES IT?
- 00:37:57.140 --> 00:37:57.280
- - LES: NO, THAT'S A COMPLETELY
- 00:37:57.280 --> 00:37:58.200
- DIFFERENT--
- 00:37:58.200 --> 00:37:59.020
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:37:59.020 --> 00:37:59.200
- YOU KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF.
- 00:37:59.200 --> 00:38:01.160
- - LAURIE: BUT IT'S NOT LIKE
- 00:38:01.160 --> 00:38:04.030
- EVERY NIGHT IN A HOTEL ROOM WE
- 00:38:04.030 --> 00:38:05.140
- HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE SAME SIDE.
- 00:38:05.140 --> 00:38:06.290
- - LES: RIGHT.
- 00:38:06.290 --> 00:38:07.150
- - LAURIE: WE CAN ALWAYS BE
- 00:38:07.150 --> 00:38:08.070
- DIFFERENT IN A-- BUT AT HOME--
- 00:38:08.070 --> 00:38:09.260
- - LESLIE: IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE
- 00:38:09.260 --> 00:38:10.180
- RIGID.
- 00:38:10.180 --> 00:38:11.050
- IT'S JUST THAT YOU HAVE YOUR
- 00:38:11.050 --> 00:38:11.250
- GROOVE.
- 00:38:11.250 --> 00:38:12.200
- - LES: THE POINT IS THAT YOU
- 00:38:12.200 --> 00:38:13.250
- TEND TO-- ACCORDING TO THE WAY
- 00:38:13.250 --> 00:38:16.130
- YOU ANSWERED THIS, YOU TEND TO
- 00:38:16.130 --> 00:38:17.210
- BE MORE SLOW-PACED.
- 00:38:17.210 --> 00:38:18.270
- HE'S A LITTLE BIT MORE
- 00:38:18.270 --> 00:38:20.040
- FAST-PACED.
- 00:38:20.040 --> 00:38:21.190
- HE'S URGENT WITH THINGS THAT ARE
- 00:38:21.190 --> 00:38:23.000
- HAPPENING IN HIS LIFE, RIGHT?
- 00:38:23.000 --> 00:38:24.070
- HE WANTS TO GET THINGS DONE.
- 00:38:24.070 --> 00:38:25.240
- "IF YOU COME HOME FROM THE
- 00:38:25.240 --> 00:38:26.250
- GROCERY STORE AND YOU HAVE SIX
- 00:38:26.250 --> 00:38:28.020
- BAGS OF GROCERIES, HOW MANY
- 00:38:28.020 --> 00:38:29.060
- TRIPS SHOULD IT TAKE TO GET SIX
- 00:38:29.060 --> 00:38:30.170
- BAGS OF GROCERIES IN THE HOUSE?"
- 00:38:30.170 --> 00:38:31.210
- - MATT: ONE.
- 00:38:31.210 --> 00:38:32.180
- - LES: YEAH, EXACTLY, RIGHT?
- 00:38:32.180 --> 00:38:33.090
- YOU'RE GONNA PUT 'EM ON EVERY
- 00:38:33.090 --> 00:38:34.110
- FINGER.
- 00:38:34.110 --> 00:38:35.050
- "OPEN THE DOORS," RIGHT?
- 00:38:35.050 --> 00:38:35.260
- A PERSON THAT'S SLOW PACED,
- 00:38:35.260 --> 00:38:37.060
- "WE'LL JUST TAKE-- WE CAN TAKE
- 00:38:37.060 --> 00:38:39.100
- OUR TIME.
- 00:38:39.100 --> 00:38:39.280
- I'LL COME BACK AND GET THOSE IN
- 00:38:39.280 --> 00:38:40.200
- A MINUTE," RIGHT?
- 00:38:40.200 --> 00:38:41.050
- SO THAT'S ONE ASPECT OF IT.
- 00:38:41.050 --> 00:38:42.050
- - MATT: AND, BY THE WAY, THAT
- 00:38:42.050 --> 00:38:43.130
- WOULD BOTHER ME.
- 00:38:43.130 --> 00:38:45.150
- - LESLIE: THAT SHE'S WILLING TO
- 00:38:45.150 --> 00:38:46.290
- JUST TAKE HER TIME?
- 00:38:46.290 --> 00:38:48.030
- - MATT: YEAH, TAKE HER TIME.
- 00:38:48.030 --> 00:38:48.240
- - LES: 'CAUSE IT'S NOT
- 00:38:48.240 --> 00:38:49.120
- EFFICIENT.
- 00:38:49.120 --> 00:38:50.240
- - LESLIE: YEAH, AND ANOTHER
- 00:38:50.240 --> 00:38:51.270
- DYNAMIC HAS MORE TO DO WITH ARE
- 00:38:51.270 --> 00:38:53.110
- YOU FOCUSED MORE ON PEOPLE-- AND
- 00:38:53.110 --> 00:38:55.000
- THAT'S WHERE YOU GET YOUR ENERGY
- 00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:56.130
- AND GIVE YOUR ENERGY-- OR ARE
- 00:38:56.130 --> 00:38:58.050
- YOU ALL ABOUT "LET'S GET A TASK
- 00:38:58.050 --> 00:38:59.200
- ACCOMPLISHED"?
- 00:38:59.200 --> 00:39:01.030
- "LET'S REALLY DO SOMETHING."
- 00:39:01.030 --> 00:39:02.150
- AND YOU FEEL GREAT ABOUT YOUR
- 00:39:02.150 --> 00:39:04.000
- TO-DO LIST AND GETTING THOSE
- 00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:05.100
- THINGS CROSSED OFF.
- 00:39:05.100 --> 00:39:06.150
- - LES: AND YOU'RE
- 00:39:06.150 --> 00:39:07.020
- PEOPLE-ORIENTED.
- 00:39:07.020 --> 00:39:07.290
- YOU GET YOUR ENERGY THERE.
- 00:39:07.290 --> 00:39:08.180
- - LESLIE: YEAH.
- 00:39:08.180 --> 00:39:09.130
- - LES: I TEND TO BE MORE
- 00:39:09.130 --> 00:39:10.020
- TASK-ORIENTED.
- 00:39:10.020 --> 00:39:11.080
- - LESLIE: TEND TO BE?
- 00:39:11.080 --> 00:39:11.250
- - LES: YEAH.
- 00:39:11.250 --> 00:39:12.110
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:39:12.110 --> 00:39:13.010
- WELL, WELL, WELL.
- 00:39:13.010 --> 00:39:15.190
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:39:15.190 --> 00:39:17.180
- [CLAPPING]
- 00:39:18.090 --> 00:39:21.090
- WE'RE GONNA START A WHOLE NEW
- 00:39:21.090 --> 00:39:22.000
- TREND.
- 00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:22.180
- [APPLAUSE]
- 00:39:22.180 --> 00:39:23.070
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:39:23.070 --> 00:39:26.010
- - MATT: THAT'S GONNA BE A GIF.
- 00:39:26.010 --> 00:39:26.270
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:39:26.270 --> 00:39:29.180
- - LES: THE PARROTTS.
- 00:39:29.180 --> 00:39:30.110
- BUT, YEAH, EVERY DAY STARTS AT
- 00:39:30.110 --> 00:39:33.080
- ZERO FOR ME.
- 00:39:33.080 --> 00:39:33.230
- I WANNA GET THINGS DONE DURING
- 00:39:33.230 --> 00:39:34.220
- MY DAY.
- 00:39:34.220 --> 00:39:35.180
- I LOVE A TO-DO LIST.
- 00:39:35.180 --> 00:39:37.070
- ARE YOU LIKE ME?
- 00:39:37.070 --> 00:39:38.190
- LIKE, THE VERY FIRST THING ON MY
- 00:39:38.190 --> 00:39:39.110
- TO-DO LIST SAYS, "MAKE TO-DO
- 00:39:39.110 --> 00:39:40.090
- LIST."
- 00:39:40.090 --> 00:39:41.060
- LIKE, LET'S GET THIS
- 00:39:41.060 --> 00:39:42.020
- GOIN', YOU KNOW?
- 00:39:42.020 --> 00:39:43.050
- AND EVEN IF I'D ACCOMPLISHED
- 00:39:43.050 --> 00:39:44.110
- SOMETHING DURING THE DAY THAT
- 00:39:44.110 --> 00:39:45.050
- WASN'T ON MY LIST-- ANYBODY DO
- 00:39:45.050 --> 00:39:46.050
- THIS?
- 00:39:46.050 --> 00:39:47.080
- YOU PUT IT ON YOUR LIST AND
- 00:39:47.080 --> 00:39:48.120
- SCRATCH IT RIGHT OFF?
- 00:39:48.120 --> 00:39:49.150
- YEAH.
- 00:39:49.150 --> 00:39:50.010
- - LESLIE: THAT IS SUCH A WASTE.
- 00:39:50.010 --> 00:39:52.100
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:39:52.100 --> 00:39:53.270
- - LES: WELL, THAT'S HOW GOD
- 00:39:53.270 --> 00:39:55.010
- MADE ME SO--
- 00:39:55.010 --> 00:39:55.280
- - LESLIE: I KNOW.
- 00:39:55.280 --> 00:39:56.190
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:39:56.190 --> 00:39:58.280
- BUT, SO, ANYWAY, TASK-ORIENTED
- 00:39:58.280 --> 00:40:00.000
- OR PEOPLE-ORIENTED, FAST-PACED,
- 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.010
- SLOW-PACE.
- 00:40:01.010 --> 00:40:01.200
- - LESLIE: AND THAT COMBINATION,
- 00:40:01.200 --> 00:40:03.120
- THAT SYNERGY, IS KIND OF WHAT
- 00:40:03.120 --> 00:40:05.100
- CREATES THIS PERSONALITY.
- 00:40:05.100 --> 00:40:06.270
- - LES: YEAH.
- 00:40:06.270 --> 00:40:07.130
- - MATT: WHAT ELSE DID WE LEARN
- 00:40:07.130 --> 00:40:08.100
- ABOUT US?
- 00:40:08.100 --> 00:40:08.270
- WHAT ELSE?
- 00:40:08.270 --> 00:40:10.080
- - LES: YEAH, SO ON THE FIRST
- 00:40:10.080 --> 00:40:10.290
- PAGE, IT LOOKS AT THAT
- 00:40:10.290 --> 00:40:11.220
- COMBINATION.
- 00:40:11.220 --> 00:40:12.070
- - MATT: GOT IT.
- 00:40:12.070 --> 00:40:12.260
- - LES: THERE'S EIGHT DIFFERENT
- 00:40:12.260 --> 00:40:13.180
- TYPES, AND YOU CAN READ, AND
- 00:40:13.180 --> 00:40:14.170
- THIS IS WHERE I SAID EARLIER:
- 00:40:14.170 --> 00:40:16.000
- THESE PARAGRAPHS-- YOU'RE
- 00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:16.190
- STARTIN' TO LAUGH ABOUT, JUST
- 00:40:16.190 --> 00:40:17.260
- LOOKIN' AT ME.
- 00:40:17.260 --> 00:40:19.000
- WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
- 00:40:19.000 --> 00:40:19.180
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:40:19.180 --> 00:40:21.170
- FORTY THOUSAND VARIABLES THAT GO
- 00:40:21.170 --> 00:40:22.140
- INTO THOSE PARAGRAPHS, SO IT'S
- 00:40:22.140 --> 00:40:23.230
- PRETTY SPECIFIC.
- 00:40:23.230 --> 00:40:24.100
- - LESLIE: RIGHT, SO THEY'RE
- 00:40:24.100 --> 00:40:25.070
- REALLY UNIQUE.
- 00:40:25.070 --> 00:40:25.240
- IT'S NOT JUST A SIMPLE MODEL.
- 00:40:25.240 --> 00:40:26.230
- IT'S COMPLEX.
- 00:40:26.230 --> 00:40:27.210
- - LES: THIS WAS INTERESTING.
- 00:40:27.210 --> 00:40:29.140
- I WAS LOOKIN' AT THIS ON YOUR
- 00:40:29.140 --> 00:40:30.090
- REPORT.
- 00:40:30.090 --> 00:40:30.290
- - MATT: UH-HUH.
- 00:40:30.290 --> 00:40:32.110
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:40:32.280 --> 00:40:35.280
- WHAT WERE YOU LOOKING AT, YEAH?
- 00:40:35.280 --> 00:40:36.280
- - LES: SO WHEN IT COMES TO
- 00:40:36.280 --> 00:40:38.270
- SOLVING PROBLEMS-- AND ABOUT 25%
- 00:40:38.270 --> 00:40:41.060
- OF OUR CONVERSATIONS IN MARRIAGE
- 00:40:41.060 --> 00:40:42.240
- ARE DEVOTED TO PROBLEM-SOLVING,
- 00:40:42.240 --> 00:40:44.070
- SO YOU REALLY LIKE TO TAKE YOUR
- 00:40:44.070 --> 00:40:46.220
- TIME IN SOLVING A PROBLEM,
- 00:40:46.220 --> 00:40:48.130
- ACCORDING TO THIS.
- 00:40:48.130 --> 00:40:49.110
- YOU'RE LIKE, "LET'S REFLECT ON
- 00:40:49.110 --> 00:40:50.120
- THIS.
- 00:40:50.120 --> 00:40:51.220
- LET'S NOT DO ANYTHING RASH."
- 00:40:51.220 --> 00:40:52.250
- YOU'RE KIND OF IN THE MID-RANGE.
- 00:40:52.250 --> 00:40:54.060
- IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE AN
- 00:40:54.060 --> 00:40:55.080
- AGGRESSIVE PROBLEM-SOLVER, BUT
- 00:40:55.080 --> 00:40:56.260
- RELATIVE TO HER, YOU MIGHT BE
- 00:40:56.260 --> 00:40:58.120
- SOMETIMES IMPATIENT AND
- 00:40:58.120 --> 00:41:00.190
- SOMETIMES, "HEY, LET'S GET ON
- 00:41:00.190 --> 00:41:02.140
- WITH THIS.
- 00:41:02.140 --> 00:41:02.290
- IT'S TIME TO--"
- 00:41:02.290 --> 00:41:03.210
- - LAURIE: HE ALWAYS WANTS TO
- 00:41:03.210 --> 00:41:04.210
- FIX MY PROBLEMS PRETTY FAST.
- 00:41:04.210 --> 00:41:05.190
- - LES: YEAH, BUT MOST GUYS DO,
- 00:41:05.190 --> 00:41:06.170
- RIGHT?
- 00:41:06.170 --> 00:41:07.140
- NOT JUST YOURS, BUT YOU'RE A
- 00:41:07.140 --> 00:41:08.090
- WOMAN.
- 00:41:08.090 --> 00:41:08.240
- - MATT: THANK YOU.
- 00:41:08.240 --> 00:41:09.100
- THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
- 00:41:09.100 --> 00:41:09.270
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:41:09.270 --> 00:41:10.290
- THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
- 00:41:10.290 --> 00:41:12.280
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:41:13.030 --> 00:41:16.030
- - LES: I CAME HOME NOT TOO LONG
- 00:41:16.030 --> 00:41:17.140
- AGO FROM A LATE-NIGHT LECTURE,
- 00:41:17.140 --> 00:41:19.290
- AND I WALKED IN THE FRONT DOOR.
- 00:41:19.290 --> 00:41:20.210
- LESLIE GIVES ME A LITTLE
- 00:41:20.210 --> 00:41:21.190
- GREETING.
- 00:41:21.190 --> 00:41:22.170
- HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER ALL DAY,
- 00:41:22.170 --> 00:41:23.280
- AND SHE SAID, "HEY, THE KITCHEN
- 00:41:23.280 --> 00:41:24.290
- SINK IS BACKED UP."
- 00:41:24.290 --> 00:41:26.090
- AND I SAID, "IT IS?"
- 00:41:26.090 --> 00:41:27.260
- - LAURIE: YOU DIDN'T FIX IT?
- 00:41:27.260 --> 00:41:29.170
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:41:29.170 --> 00:41:30.010
- - LESLIE: YEAH, AND HE SAID TO
- 00:41:30.010 --> 00:41:31.150
- ME, "WELL, HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN
- 00:41:31.150 --> 00:41:32.180
- LIKE THAT?"
- 00:41:32.180 --> 00:41:33.130
- AND I SAID, "ALL DAY."
- 00:41:33.130 --> 00:41:34.210
- - LES: AND I SAID, "WHAT HAVE
- 00:41:34.210 --> 00:41:35.120
- YOU BEEN DOING?"
- 00:41:35.120 --> 00:41:36.120
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:41:36.180 --> 00:41:39.180
- - MATT: THAT'S WHAT I WOULD'VE
- 00:41:39.180 --> 00:41:41.020
- SAID.
- 00:41:41.020 --> 00:41:42.290
- - LES: AND SHE SAID, "WAITIN'
- 00:41:42.290 --> 00:41:44.000
- FOR YOU TO GET HOME."
- 00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:45.030
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:41:45.030 --> 00:41:47.000
- AND SO I IMMEDIATELY-- IT'S,
- 00:41:47.000 --> 00:41:48.150
- LIKE, 10 O'CLOCK AT NIGHT.
- 00:41:48.150 --> 00:41:49.180
- I IMMEDIATELY PICK UP MY PHONE
- 00:41:49.180 --> 00:41:51.010
- AND CALL MY FRIEND GEORGE, WHO'S
- 00:41:51.010 --> 00:41:51.230
- A PLUMBER NEARBY IN OUR
- 00:41:51.230 --> 00:41:52.220
- NEIGHBORHOOD, AND SHE SAYS, "OH,
- 00:41:52.220 --> 00:41:54.230
- NO, DON'T CALL GEORGE NOW.
- 00:41:54.230 --> 00:41:55.220
- IT'S TOO LATE TO CALL HIM."
- 00:41:55.220 --> 00:41:56.200
- I SAID, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
- 00:41:56.200 --> 00:41:57.210
- HE'S GONNA LOVE IT.
- 00:41:57.210 --> 00:41:58.080
- HE'LL BE OVER HERE IN TEN
- 00:41:58.080 --> 00:41:58.270
- MINUTES."
- 00:41:58.270 --> 00:41:59.240
- SHE SAID, "NO, NO, NO."
- 00:41:59.240 --> 00:42:00.170
- SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO BED.
- 00:42:00.170 --> 00:42:01.160
- LET'S SEE HOW THE SINK IS DOING
- 00:42:01.160 --> 00:42:02.180
- IN THE MORNING."
- 00:42:02.180 --> 00:42:03.070
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:42:03.070 --> 00:42:05.050
- I SAID, "DO YOU THINK LITTLE
- 00:42:05.050 --> 00:42:05.260
- FAIRIES ARE GONNA COME IN HERE
- 00:42:05.260 --> 00:42:06.190
- AND WORK ON OUR SINK?"
- 00:42:06.190 --> 00:42:07.200
- YOU KNOW, SO SHE'S A REFLECTIVE
- 00:42:07.200 --> 00:42:09.090
- PROBLEM-SOLVER LIKE YOU ARE.
- 00:42:09.090 --> 00:42:10.250
- I'M A PRETTY-- OH, MY GOODNESS.
- 00:42:11.020 --> 00:42:14.020
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:42:14.020 --> 00:42:15.070
- [APPLAUSE]
- 00:42:15.070 --> 00:42:18.030
- - LESLIE: WE GOT A SUPPORT
- 00:42:18.030 --> 00:42:18.250
- GROUP GOIN'.
- 00:42:18.250 --> 00:42:19.120
- - MATT: OH, MY GOD.
- 00:42:19.120 --> 00:42:20.090
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:42:20.090 --> 00:42:22.150
- - LES: ALL RIGHT.
- 00:42:22.150 --> 00:42:23.010
- - MATT: MOVE ON, YEAH.
- 00:42:23.010 --> 00:42:23.220
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:42:23.220 --> 00:42:25.290
- - LAURIE: SO HOW'S THE SINK?
- 00:42:25.290 --> 00:42:27.190
- - LES: THE SINK IS BETTER,
- 00:42:27.190 --> 00:42:28.180
- YEAH, THANK YOU.
- 00:42:28.180 --> 00:42:29.110
- - LAURIE: OKAY.
- 00:42:29.110 --> 00:42:30.290
- IT'S OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
- 00:42:30.290 --> 00:42:31.160
- - LES: ACTUALLY, WE HAD A
- 00:42:31.160 --> 00:42:32.050
- PLUMBER THERE YESTERDAY.
- 00:42:32.050 --> 00:42:32.230
- - LESLIE: YEAH, WE DID,
- 00:42:32.230 --> 00:42:33.110
- ACTUALLY.
- 00:42:33.110 --> 00:42:34.150
- - LES: LET'S TALK ABOUT
- 00:42:34.150 --> 00:42:35.070
- TALKING, COMMUNICATION.
- 00:42:35.070 --> 00:42:35.250
- IT'S THE LIFEBLOOD OF A
- 00:42:35.250 --> 00:42:36.200
- RELATIONSHIP AND-- MAKE SOME
- 00:42:36.200 --> 00:42:38.020
- SENSE OUT OF THIS.
- 00:42:38.250 --> 00:42:41.250
- I CAN'T TELL ANYTHING ABOUT
- 00:42:41.250 --> 00:42:42.150
- WHAT'S GOING ON THERE.
- 00:42:42.150 --> 00:42:43.190
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:42:43.190 --> 00:42:44.020
- - MATT: WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?
- 00:42:44.020 --> 00:42:45.020
- - LESLIE: WELL, HERE, ONE OF
- 00:42:45.020 --> 00:42:46.200
- THE THINGS WE KNOW IS THAT, EVEN
- 00:42:46.200 --> 00:42:48.080
- THOUGH WE FEEL MOST CONNECTED BY
- 00:42:48.080 --> 00:42:49.200
- CONVERSATION, WE DON'T
- 00:42:49.200 --> 00:42:50.120
- NECESSARILY LEAN INTO IT THE
- 00:42:50.120 --> 00:42:52.030
- SAME WAY.
- 00:42:52.030 --> 00:42:52.290
- I MEAN, ONE OF THE INTERESTING
- 00:42:52.290 --> 00:42:54.200
- THINGS IS THERE ARE EVEN SOME
- 00:42:54.200 --> 00:42:56.070
- PRETTY SIGNIFICANT BRAIN
- 00:42:56.070 --> 00:42:57.180
- DIFFERENCES WHEN IT COMES TO
- 00:42:57.180 --> 00:42:58.250
- WHAT A GUY WANTS IN A
- 00:42:58.250 --> 00:42:59.210
- CONVERSATION, WHAT A WOMAN
- 00:42:59.210 --> 00:43:00.270
- WANTS, SO WHEN YOU BLEND THAT
- 00:43:00.270 --> 00:43:02.230
- WITH YOUR OWN PERSONALITY, YOU
- 00:43:02.230 --> 00:43:05.110
- REALLY START TO FIGURE OUT "WHY
- 00:43:05.250 --> 00:43:08.250
- DO WE HAVE MELTDOWNS?"
- 00:43:08.250 --> 00:43:09.220
- BECAUSE WE'RE NOT WORKING FOR
- 00:43:09.220 --> 00:43:11.030
- THE SAME GOAL.
- 00:43:11.030 --> 00:43:11.280
- - LES: YEAH, RESEARCHERS CALL
- 00:43:11.280 --> 00:43:12.190
- IT FOR GUYS, "REPORT TALK."
- 00:43:12.190 --> 00:43:13.090
- WE LIKE THE REPORT,
- 00:43:13.090 --> 00:43:14.220
- AND THIS IS IMPORTANT
- 00:43:14.220 --> 00:43:15.290
- FOR WOMEN TO UNDERSTAND:
- 00:43:15.290 --> 00:43:17.080
- WE WANNA BE IN THE KNOW.
- 00:43:17.080 --> 00:43:18.130
- WE WANT THE INFORMATION.
- 00:43:18.130 --> 00:43:19.210
- IT'S JUST THAT WE DON'T NEED ALL
- 00:43:19.210 --> 00:43:20.290
- THE FLUFF.
- 00:43:20.290 --> 00:43:22.150
- WE DON'T NEED ALL THE BUNNY
- 00:43:22.150 --> 00:43:24.000
- TRAILS, AND WE WANT THE REPORT.
- 00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:26.060
- YOU EVER HEARD YOUR MAN SAY, YOU
- 00:43:26.060 --> 00:43:27.260
- KNOW, "GET TO THE BOTTOM LINE,"
- 00:43:27.260 --> 00:43:29.060
- "DOES THIS STORY HAVE AN END,"
- 00:43:29.060 --> 00:43:30.200
- RIGHT?
- 00:43:30.200 --> 00:43:31.090
- IT'S THAT KIND OF STUFF.
- 00:43:31.090 --> 00:43:32.120
- - MATT: THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
- 00:43:32.120 --> 00:43:33.020
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:43:33.020 --> 00:43:35.140
- - LES: AND IT'S NOT THAT WAY
- 00:43:35.140 --> 00:43:36.290
- FOR WOMEN.
- 00:43:36.290 --> 00:43:38.010
- - LESLIE: NO, I MEAN, FOR US,
- 00:43:38.010 --> 00:43:39.050
- CONVERSATION IS CONNECTION.
- 00:43:39.050 --> 00:43:41.140
- THAT'S WHY WE'VE HUGGED THREE
- 00:43:41.140 --> 00:43:43.210
- TIMES ALREADY BECAUSE WE'RE
- 00:43:43.210 --> 00:43:44.110
- BONDING.
- 00:43:44.110 --> 00:43:44.250
- AND SO IT'S NOT AN EXCHANGE OF
- 00:43:44.250 --> 00:43:46.080
- INFORMATION.
- 00:43:46.080 --> 00:43:48.040
- IT'S, LITERALLY, WE'RE TRYING TO
- 00:43:48.040 --> 00:43:50.050
- OPEN A WINDOW OF CONNECTION
- 00:43:50.050 --> 00:43:52.030
- BETWEEN US.
- 00:43:52.030 --> 00:43:53.120
- - LES: YEAH, SO IT'S NOT
- 00:43:53.120 --> 00:43:54.010
- "REPORT TALK."
- 00:43:54.010 --> 00:43:54.190
- IT'S WHAT RESEARCHERS
- 00:43:54.190 --> 00:43:55.060
- CALL "RAPPORT,"
- 00:43:55.060 --> 00:43:56.050
- "BUILDING RAPPORT."
- 00:43:56.050 --> 00:43:57.000
- AND LESLIE POINTED OUT
- 00:43:57.000 --> 00:43:58.210
- SOMETHING SO FASCINATING
- 00:43:58.210 --> 00:43:59.150
- AT OUR OWN CHURCH--
- 00:43:59.150 --> 00:44:00.220
- AND I'VE NOTICED IT IN OTHER
- 00:44:00.220 --> 00:44:01.240
- CHURCHES WHERE WE SPEAK AROUND
- 00:44:01.240 --> 00:44:03.000
- THE COUNTRY-- THAT YOU WILL SEE
- 00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:04.080
- WOMEN IN THE CHURCH FOYER THAT
- 00:44:04.080 --> 00:44:06.010
- LEAN IN AND HOLD HANDS WHILE
- 00:44:06.010 --> 00:44:07.200
- THEY'RE TALKING, YOU KNOW?
- 00:44:07.200 --> 00:44:10.030
- - LESLIE: OH, YEAH, WELL, WE'RE
- 00:44:10.030 --> 00:44:11.000
- SHARING.
- 00:44:11.000 --> 00:44:11.150
- WE'RE NOT TALKING.
- 00:44:11.150 --> 00:44:12.200
- WE'RE SHARING.
- 00:44:12.200 --> 00:44:14.130
- - LES: OH, I'M SORRY.
- 00:44:14.130 --> 00:44:15.010
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:44:15.010 --> 00:44:16.070
- SORRY I MISSED THAT.
- 00:44:16.070 --> 00:44:16.230
- BUT, YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T SEE
- 00:44:16.230 --> 00:44:19.220
- GUYS LEANING IN, "HEY, HOW ABOUT
- 00:44:19.220 --> 00:44:20.160
- THAT GAME?"
- 00:44:20.160 --> 00:44:21.060
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:44:21.060 --> 00:44:21.230
- AND I'VE NOTICED THIS.
- 00:44:24.010 --> 00:44:27.010
- I'VE MADE THIS, LIKE, A STUDY
- 00:44:27.010 --> 00:44:28.120
- OUT OF IT.
- 00:44:28.120 --> 00:44:29.100
- IF YOU WILL PAY ATTENTION AFTER
- 00:44:29.100 --> 00:44:31.220
- THE SERVICE AT YOUR CHURCH,
- 00:44:31.220 --> 00:44:33.200
- YOU'LL SEE WOMEN THAT ARE JUST
- 00:44:33.200 --> 00:44:35.190
- HOLDING HANDS, AND IF YOU GO BY
- 00:44:35.190 --> 00:44:36.110
- AND LISTEN, THEY'RE TALKING
- 00:44:36.110 --> 00:44:37.070
- ABOUT STUPID STUFF AND--
- 00:44:37.080 --> 00:44:40.080
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:44:40.240 --> 00:44:43.240
- FROM A GUY'S PERSPECTIVE, IT'S
- 00:44:43.240 --> 00:44:44.150
- LIKE, "REALLY?
- 00:44:44.150 --> 00:44:46.050
- YOU'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT
- 00:44:46.050 --> 00:44:46.250
- HERE?"
- 00:44:46.250 --> 00:44:47.060
- - LESLIE: YEAH, 'CAUSE WE'RE
- 00:44:47.060 --> 00:44:48.070
- OPENING UP OUR HEARTS 'CAUSE OUR
- 00:44:48.070 --> 00:44:48.290
- GOAL IS CONNECTION.
- 00:44:48.290 --> 00:44:50.090
- SO WE DON'T NEED TO, YOU KNOW,
- 00:44:50.090 --> 00:44:52.200
- SHARE INFORMATION.
- 00:44:52.200 --> 00:44:54.090
- WE NEED TO HAVE OUR FEELINGS
- 00:44:54.090 --> 00:44:55.170
- EXPRESSED.
- 00:44:57.280 --> 00:45:01.000
- - LES: SO WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR
- 00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:01.220
- REPORT, WHAT IT'S GONNA DO IS
- 00:45:01.220 --> 00:45:02.140
- HELP YOU SEE HOW GOD DESIGNED
- 00:45:02.140 --> 00:45:03.050
- IT'LL HELP YOU CRACK THE CODE OF
- 00:45:05.110 --> 00:45:06.030
- YOUR PERSONAL TALK STYLES.
- 00:45:06.030 --> 00:45:07.020
- NOW, ONE OF THE THINGS IT'LL DO
- 00:45:07.020 --> 00:45:07.240
- IS HIGHLIGHT WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL
- 00:45:07.240 --> 00:45:09.020
- EMOTIONALLY SAFE IN A
- 00:45:09.020 --> 00:45:10.000
- CONVERSATION.
- 00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:11.100
- I DON'T LIKE MY TIME TO BE
- 00:45:14.130 --> 00:45:15.070
- WASTED, SO IF I FEEL LIKE A
- 00:45:15.070 --> 00:45:16.190
- CONVERSATION IS WASTING MY TIME,
- 00:45:16.190 --> 00:45:18.260
- I'M LIKE, "LET'S GET ON WITH
- 00:45:18.260 --> 00:45:19.180
- THIS."
- 00:45:19.180 --> 00:45:20.000
- - LESLIE: AND, FOR ME, IT'S ALL
- 00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:21.200
- ABOUT WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.
- 00:45:21.200 --> 00:45:24.060
- I NEED TO FEEL LIKE I'VE GOT THE
- 00:45:24.060 --> 00:45:25.050
- APPROVAL AND THE BLESSING, AND
- 00:45:25.050 --> 00:45:26.200
- IF YOU DO ANYTHING THAT
- 00:45:26.200 --> 00:45:28.180
- COMMUNICATES TO ME, EVEN WITH MY
- 00:45:29.100 --> 00:45:32.100
- INTUITION, THAT'S NOT THERE, I
- 00:45:32.100 --> 00:45:33.170
- SHUT DOWN.
- 00:45:33.170 --> 00:45:34.020
- - LES: YEAH, AND I CAN TELL
- 00:45:34.020 --> 00:45:35.090
- YOU, ONE OF THE THINGS THAT'S
- 00:45:35.090 --> 00:45:36.250
- IMPORTANT FOR YOU IS GOING TO BE
- 00:45:36.250 --> 00:45:39.190
- LOYALTY.
- 00:45:40.020 --> 00:45:43.020
- LIKE, IF YOU FEEL LIKE HE'S NOT
- 00:45:43.020 --> 00:45:43.240
- WITH YOU, ON YOUR TEAM, AND
- 00:45:43.240 --> 00:45:45.130
- BEING SUPPORTIVE IN THAT, THAT'S
- 00:45:45.130 --> 00:45:47.160
- WHEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE NOT VERY
- 00:45:47.160 --> 00:45:48.130
- GOOD CONVERSATIONS.
- 00:45:48.130 --> 00:45:49.010
- - LAURIE: MM-HMM.
- 00:45:49.010 --> 00:45:50.070
- - LES: YOU GOTTA FEEL THAT HE'S
- 00:45:50.070 --> 00:45:50.290
- WITH YOU ON THAT.
- 00:45:50.290 --> 00:45:51.140
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:45:52.260 --> 00:45:55.260
- LITTLE RAW NERVE?
- 00:45:55.260 --> 00:45:56.190
- - LAURIE: THAT WAS GREAT.
- 00:45:56.190 --> 00:45:57.250
- - LES: YEAH, ALL RIGHT SO--
- 00:45:57.250 --> 00:45:58.270
- - MATT: LET'S GO TO A
- 00:45:58.270 --> 00:45:59.200
- COMMERCIAL.
- 00:45:59.200 --> 00:46:00.210
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:46:00.210 --> 00:46:02.140
- THE BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT IS
- 00:46:02.140 --> 00:46:05.020
- WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, AND
- 00:46:05.020 --> 00:46:06.180
- LET ME JUST SAY THIS: THERE'S
- 00:46:06.180 --> 00:46:08.180
- BEEN A COUPLE OF TIMES THAT
- 00:46:08.180 --> 00:46:09.080
- WE'VE DONE THESE, THAT LAURIE
- 00:46:09.080 --> 00:46:11.010
- WE'VE JUST COMPLETED THIS ONE--
- 00:46:13.260 --> 00:46:14.180
- THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT
- 00:46:14.180 --> 00:46:15.100
- TONIGHT-- BUT THAT I ACTUALLY
- 00:46:15.100 --> 00:46:16.010
- LEARNED THINGS THAT I DID NOT
- 00:46:16.010 --> 00:46:18.100
- KNOW.
- 00:46:18.100 --> 00:46:19.060
- - LAURIE: IT'S ALL SO GOOD.
- 00:46:19.060 --> 00:46:20.070
- - MATT: IT WAS AMAZING.
- 00:46:20.070 --> 00:46:21.120
- THE BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT--
- 00:46:21.120 --> 00:46:23.240
- - ANNOUNCER: DO YOU WANT THE
- 00:46:26.140 --> 00:46:27.050
- VERY BEST FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
- 00:46:27.050 --> 00:46:28.170
- DO YOU WANNA GO BENEATH THE
- 00:46:28.170 --> 00:46:29.280
- THEN JOIN
- 00:46:32.140 --> 00:46:32.270
- DRS. LES AND LESLIE PARROTT,
- 00:46:32.270 --> 00:46:33.290
- RENOWNED PSYCHOLOGIST,
- 00:46:33.290 --> 00:46:35.150
- MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST,
- 00:46:35.150 --> 00:46:36.120
- AND NUMBER ONE "NEW YORK TIMES"
- 00:46:36.120 --> 00:46:37.260
- BEST-SELLING AUTHORS
- 00:46:37.260 --> 00:46:39.140
- IT ALL BEGINS WHEN YOU ANSWER
- 00:46:46.110 --> 00:46:47.020
- JUST A FEW QUESTIONS WITH THE
- 00:46:47.020 --> 00:46:47.230
- BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT.
- 00:46:47.230 --> 00:46:48.150
- IT'S EASIER THAN YOU THINK, AND
- 00:46:48.150 --> 00:46:49.150
- DID WE MENTION IT'S FUN?
- 00:46:49.150 --> 00:46:50.030
- WE'LL GIVE YOU A PERSONALIZED
- 00:46:50.030 --> 00:46:51.250
- ACTION PLAN CUSTOMIZED FOR THE
- 00:46:51.250 --> 00:46:53.140
- TWO OF YOU.
- 00:46:53.140 --> 00:46:54.140
- YOU'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED
- 00:46:54.140 --> 00:46:56.040
- ANYTHING QUITE LIKE THIS BEFORE.
- 00:46:56.040 --> 00:46:57.110
- ENJOY BETTER CONVERSATIONS,
- 00:46:57.110 --> 00:46:59.050
- BETTER INTIMACY, AND BETTER
- 00:46:59.050 --> 00:47:01.050
- PASSION, STARTING TODAY.
- 00:47:01.120 --> 00:47:04.120
- IT ALL BEGINS WHEN YOU TAKE THE
- 00:47:04.120 --> 00:47:05.060
- BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT.
- 00:47:05.060 --> 00:47:06.150
- WITH YOU BY MY SIDE,
- 00:47:06.150 --> 00:47:07.280
- THERE'S NO PLACE
- 00:47:07.280 --> 00:47:09.110
- THAT WE CAN'T GO
- 00:47:11.160 --> 00:47:14.160
- THIS IS THE START OF SOMETHIG
- 00:47:14.160 --> 00:47:17.150
- BEAUTIFUL
- 00:47:19.190 --> 00:47:22.190
- [APPLAUSE]
- 00:47:22.190 --> 00:47:25.130
- ALL THE INFORMATION ABOUT THE
- 00:47:27.140 --> 00:47:28.050
- BETTER LOVE ASSESSMENT IS ON THE
- 00:47:28.050 --> 00:47:30.150
- SCREEN.
- 00:47:30.150 --> 00:47:32.000
- WE'VE GOT A WHOLE KIND OF THING
- 00:47:32.000 --> 00:47:33.220
- SET UP FOR YOU.
- 00:47:33.220 --> 00:47:36.150
- ALL THE INFORMATION ON THE
- 00:47:36.150 --> 00:47:37.190
- SCREEN, GO TO IT RIGHT NOW.
- 00:47:37.190 --> 00:47:38.260
- WE'VE GOT A DISCOUNT BUILT IN
- 00:47:38.260 --> 00:47:41.190
- THAT IS FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.
- 00:47:44.080 --> 00:47:45.190
- DO IT.
- 00:47:45.190 --> 00:47:46.100
- GET THIS DONE.
- 00:47:46.100 --> 00:47:49.000
- - LAURIE: THIS BOOK IS AMAZING.
- 00:47:49.000 --> 00:47:49.250
- - MATT: YEAH, AND, BY THE WAY,
- 00:47:49.250 --> 00:47:51.210
- "LOVE LIKE THAT," I'VE BEEN
- 00:47:51.210 --> 00:47:53.040
- READING THIS BOOK OVER JUST THE
- 00:47:53.040 --> 00:47:54.270
- LAST FEW DAYS, AND, YOU KNOW,
- 00:47:54.270 --> 00:47:56.080
- NOT ONLY IS DR. LES A NUMBER ONE
- 00:47:56.110 --> 00:47:59.110
- "NEW YORK TIMES" BEST-SELLING
- 00:47:59.130 --> 00:48:02.150
- AUTHOR, BUT THESE "5
- 00:48:02.150 --> 00:48:04.140
- RELATIONSHIP SECRETS FROM
- 00:48:04.140 --> 00:48:05.140
- JESUS," "LOVE LIKE THAT," ISN'T
- 00:48:05.140 --> 00:48:06.200
- ABOUT JUST YOUR SPOUSE.
- 00:48:08.090 --> 00:48:11.090
- IT'S ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS WITH
- 00:48:11.090 --> 00:48:12.000
- ANYBODY IN GENERAL.
- 00:48:12.020 --> 00:48:15.020
- THIS IS AN AMAZING BOOK.
- 00:48:15.020 --> 00:48:17.070
- IN FACT, YOU EXPLAIN A COUPLE OF
- 00:48:17.070 --> 00:48:19.190
- THE PARABLES THAT JESUS TOLD IN
- 00:48:20.150 --> 00:48:23.150
- CONTEXT AND ALL THAT.
- 00:48:23.150 --> 00:48:25.040
- THAT WAS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL, LES.
- 00:48:25.040 --> 00:48:25.290
- I MEAN, HONESTLY, THIS IS ONE OF
- 00:48:25.290 --> 00:48:26.270
- THE BEST BOOKS I HAVE EVER READ.
- 00:48:27.030 --> 00:48:30.030
- - LES: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, SAY
- 00:48:30.030 --> 00:48:30.240
- THAT AGAIN?
- 00:48:30.240 --> 00:48:31.060
- - MATT: OKAY, LISTEN--
- 00:48:31.060 --> 00:48:32.010
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:48:32.010 --> 00:48:32.140
- I SAID IT.
- 00:48:32.140 --> 00:48:34.220
- I SAID IT.
- 00:48:34.220 --> 00:48:35.080
- - LAURIE: AND I HOPE HE'S
- 00:48:35.080 --> 00:48:36.040
- GETTIN' SOMETHIN' OUT OF IT.
- 00:48:36.040 --> 00:48:36.240
- - MATT: I'VE SAID IT SEVERAL
- 00:48:36.240 --> 00:48:37.150
- TIMES.
- 00:48:37.150 --> 00:48:38.230
- WE DON'T EVEN HAVE THIS BOOK FOR
- 00:48:38.230 --> 00:48:40.170
- OFFER OR ANYTHING, BUT IT'S
- 00:48:40.170 --> 00:48:42.070
- JUST--
- 00:48:42.070 --> 00:48:43.000
- - LAURIE: NO, IT'S AMAZING.
- 00:48:43.000 --> 00:48:43.200
- - MATT: GET THIS BOOK.
- 00:48:43.200 --> 00:48:44.110
- IT'S ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS I'VE
- 00:48:44.110 --> 00:48:45.090
- EVER READ, SERIOUSLY.
- 00:48:45.090 --> 00:48:47.280
- - LES: THEY CAN FIND IT AT OUR
- 00:48:47.280 --> 00:48:48.200
- - MATT: YEAH, ON THE WEBSITE OR
- 00:48:50.270 --> 00:48:52.240
- GO TO AMAZON.
- 00:48:52.240 --> 00:48:53.100
- - LES: CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING
- 00:48:53.100 --> 00:48:54.020
- REAL QUICK ABOUT THAT?
- 00:48:54.020 --> 00:48:54.200
- THAT IS THE RESULT OF A PERSONAL
- 00:48:54.200 --> 00:48:55.120
- QUEST THAT I HAVE HAD FOR YEARS
- 00:48:55.120 --> 00:48:57.020
- TO UNDERSTAND LOVE AT THE
- 00:48:57.020 --> 00:48:58.100
- HIGHEST LEVEL, LIKE YOU SAID,
- 00:48:58.100 --> 00:49:00.050
- NOT JUST IN A MARRIAGE
- 00:49:00.050 --> 00:49:01.090
- RELATIONSHIP, BUT HOW DO YOU
- 00:49:01.090 --> 00:49:02.170
- AND I REMEMBERED, SPECIFICALLY,
- 00:49:04.240 --> 00:49:06.110
- I WAS ON AN AIRPLANE, AND I WAS
- 00:49:06.110 --> 00:49:07.100
- READING EPHESIANS, AND I CAME TO
- 00:49:07.100 --> 00:49:08.130
- THAT PASSAGE IN EPHESIANS
- 00:49:08.130 --> 00:49:09.260
- CHAPTER 5, WHERE PAUL IS TALKING
- 00:49:09.280 --> 00:49:12.280
- ABOUT "THIS IS HOW JESUS LOVES."
- 00:49:12.280 --> 00:49:14.130
- AND THEN AT THE END OF THIS
- 00:49:14.130 --> 00:49:15.230
- PARAGRAPH WHERE HE DESCRIBES HOW
- 00:49:15.230 --> 00:49:16.240
- JESUS LOVES, THOSE THREE WORDS,
- 00:49:16.240 --> 00:49:17.160
- "LOVE LIKE THAT."
- 00:49:17.160 --> 00:49:19.210
- AND I REMEMBER PUTTING
- 00:49:19.210 --> 00:49:21.030
- MY BIBLE DOWN AND JUST
- 00:49:21.030 --> 00:49:22.160
- GOING, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
- 00:49:22.160 --> 00:49:24.190
- HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?
- 00:49:24.190 --> 00:49:25.100
- LIKE, IS THAT EVEN REALISTIC?
- 00:49:25.100 --> 00:49:26.100
- HOW CAN I POSSIBLY--" WELL, OF
- 00:49:26.100 --> 00:49:28.000
- COURSE, IT'S WHAT THE HOLY
- 00:49:28.000 --> 00:49:30.030
- SPIRIT HELPS US DO.
- 00:49:30.030 --> 00:49:31.140
- IT'S DOABLE, BUT I WANTED TO
- 00:49:31.140 --> 00:49:32.260
- KNOW FROM, REALLY, A
- 00:49:32.260 --> 00:49:34.180
- PRACTITIONER'S PERSPECTIVE, A
- 00:49:34.180 --> 00:49:36.050
- PSYCHOLOGIST'S PERSPECTIVE, HOW
- 00:49:36.050 --> 00:49:37.180
- DO YOU LOVE LIKE JESUS?
- 00:49:37.180 --> 00:49:39.030
- AND SO I STUDIED THE PARABLES,
- 00:49:39.030 --> 00:49:41.030
- JESUS' TEACHING, AS WELL AS
- 00:49:41.030 --> 00:49:42.240
- SALIENT LIFE EXAMPLES THAT, YOU
- 00:49:42.240 --> 00:49:45.070
- KNOW, WE KNOW FROM THE GOSPELS,
- 00:49:45.070 --> 00:49:46.260
- AND WHERE THOSE KIND OF
- 00:49:46.260 --> 00:49:49.050
- CRISSCROSS, I FOUND FIVE THINGS,
- 00:49:49.050 --> 00:49:51.180
- PRACTICAL THINGS, THAT YOU CAN
- 00:49:51.180 --> 00:49:53.050
- DO TO LOVE LIKE JESUS, AND SO
- 00:49:53.050 --> 00:49:54.280
- THAT'S REALLY WHAT THAT BOOK IS
- 00:49:54.280 --> 00:49:55.220
- ABOUT.
- 00:49:55.220 --> 00:49:56.100
- - LAURIE: YEAH, I LOVE IT.
- 00:49:56.100 --> 00:49:57.000
- "MINDFUL, APPROACHABLE,
- 00:49:57.000 --> 00:49:58.000
- GRACEFUL, BOLD, AND
- 00:49:58.000 --> 00:49:59.160
- SELF-GIVING."
- 00:49:59.160 --> 00:50:01.090
- SO BEAUTIFUL.
- 00:50:01.090 --> 00:50:01.220
- - MATT: THE SELF-GIVING CHAPTER
- 00:50:01.220 --> 00:50:03.230
- THAT I WAS FLIPPING TO, THE
- 00:50:04.120 --> 00:50:07.120
- SELF-GIVING, YOU START THAT
- 00:50:07.120 --> 00:50:08.210
- CHAPTER BY SAYING, "THIS IS THE
- 00:50:08.210 --> 00:50:10.110
- ONE THAT I DIDN'T WANNA WRITE."
- 00:50:12.280 --> 00:50:15.280
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:50:15.280 --> 00:50:16.130
- - LES: YEAH, I KEPT PUTTING IT
- 00:50:16.130 --> 00:50:17.050
- OFF.
- 00:50:17.050 --> 00:50:17.130
- - MATT: "I KEPT PUTTING IT OFF.
- 00:50:17.130 --> 00:50:18.050
- I KEPT DOING ALL THAT."
- 00:50:18.050 --> 00:50:18.230
- AND, SERIOUSLY,
- 00:50:18.230 --> 00:50:19.190
- IT'S ONE OF THE MOST
- 00:50:19.190 --> 00:50:20.270
- AMAZING BOOKS I'VE EVER READ,
- 00:50:20.270 --> 00:50:22.090
- AND I, YOU KNOW--
- 00:50:23.200 --> 00:50:26.200
- - LAURIE: YEAH, IT'S TRUE.
- 00:50:26.200 --> 00:50:27.110
- - MATT: LOOK, GET IT, OKAY.
- 00:50:27.110 --> 00:50:28.020
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:50:28.020 --> 00:50:28.140
- - LES: THANK YOU.
- 00:50:28.140 --> 00:50:29.010
- - MATT: OKAY, WE GOT A COUPLE
- 00:50:29.010 --> 00:50:29.220
- OF MINUTES LEFT.
- 00:50:29.220 --> 00:50:30.080
- WHAT ELSE DID YOU LEARN THAT
- 00:50:30.080 --> 00:50:31.100
- WILL FIX LAURIE?
- 00:50:32.070 --> 00:50:35.070
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:50:37.070 --> 00:50:40.070
- - LES: NOT A THING.
- 00:50:40.070 --> 00:50:40.250
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:50:40.250 --> 00:50:41.240
- - LAURIE: HOPELESS.
- 00:50:42.150 --> 00:50:45.150
- - LES: BUT HERE'S SOMETHING
- 00:50:45.150 --> 00:50:46.070
- INTERESTING.
- 00:50:46.070 --> 00:50:47.060
- ONE OF THE PAGES IN THE BETTER
- 00:50:47.060 --> 00:50:48.130
- LOVE ASSESSMENT IS DEVOTED TO
- 00:50:48.130 --> 00:50:49.210
- TIME, AND TIME IS THE SECOND
- 00:50:49.210 --> 00:50:52.040
- BIGGEST COMPLAINT THAT COUPLES
- 00:50:52.040 --> 00:50:54.110
- HAVE IN A RELATIONSHIP.
- 00:50:54.110 --> 00:50:56.150
- THE FIRST IS COMMUNICATION-- WE
- 00:50:56.150 --> 00:50:57.070
- JUST DON'T TALK THE WAY WE WANT
- 00:50:57.070 --> 00:50:58.050
- TO-- AND THE SECOND IS TIME.
- 00:50:58.050 --> 00:50:59.060
- - LESLIE: YEAH, IT'S ALL ABOUT,
- 00:50:59.060 --> 00:51:00.120
- YOU KNOW, "I FEEL LIKE WE JUST
- 00:51:00.120 --> 00:51:01.140
- DON'T GET ENOUGH TIME TOGETHER,"
- 00:51:01.140 --> 00:51:03.010
- AND SO WE REALLY WANTED TO
- 00:51:03.010 --> 00:51:04.130
- HELP-- WANTED TO UNDERSTAND IT
- 00:51:04.130 --> 00:51:06.100
- OURSELVES 'CAUSE, HONESTLY,
- 00:51:06.100 --> 00:51:08.040
- THAT'S A BIG ISSUE FOR US-- AND
- 00:51:08.040 --> 00:51:09.060
- HELP COUPLES UNDERSTAND HOW CAN
- 00:51:09.060 --> 00:51:10.240
- THEY RECAPTURE, YOU KNOW, THE
- 00:51:10.240 --> 00:51:13.030
- MOMENTS THEY'RE MISSING OUT ON
- 00:51:13.030 --> 00:51:13.290
- TOGETHER.
- 00:51:13.290 --> 00:51:14.230
- A HUGE PART OF THAT IS
- 00:51:14.230 --> 00:51:16.090
- UNDERSTANDING HOW WE'RE
- 00:51:16.090 --> 00:51:17.290
- HARDWIRED TO EXPERIENCE TIME
- 00:51:17.290 --> 00:51:19.230
- BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE A DIFFERENT
- 00:51:19.230 --> 00:51:21.170
- STYLE OF EVEN RELATING TO TIME.
- 00:51:21.170 --> 00:51:23.180
- - LES: YEAH, AND GOD DESIGNED
- 00:51:23.180 --> 00:51:25.170
- EACH OF US UNIQUELY, JUST LIKE
- 00:51:25.170 --> 00:51:27.100
- HE DID FOR COMMUNICATION AND
- 00:51:27.100 --> 00:51:28.090
- CONFLICT, ALSO TO EXPERIENCE
- 00:51:28.090 --> 00:51:29.110
- TIME.
- 00:51:29.110 --> 00:51:30.080
- SO ARE YOU PRESENT-ORIENTED OR
- 00:51:30.080 --> 00:51:32.000
- FUTURE-ORIENTED?
- 00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:33.150
- NOW, I KNOW FROM THIS, YOU'RE
- 00:51:33.150 --> 00:51:34.190
- ALL ABOUT THE FUTURE, JUST LIKE
- 00:51:34.190 --> 00:51:36.100
- I AM.
- 00:51:36.100 --> 00:51:37.050
- LESLIE SAYS I'M A VISITOR FROM
- 00:51:37.050 --> 00:51:38.140
- THE FUTURE.
- 00:51:38.140 --> 00:51:39.030
- I LOVE THE FUTURE.
- 00:51:39.030 --> 00:51:40.050
- I LOVE PLANNING ALL THAT.
- 00:51:40.050 --> 00:51:41.030
- - LESLIE: YOU TWO AREN'T EVEN
- 00:51:41.030 --> 00:51:42.270
- HERE RIGHT NOW.
- 00:51:42.270 --> 00:51:43.130
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:51:43.130 --> 00:51:43.260
- - MATT: THAT'S INTERESTING THAT
- 00:51:43.260 --> 00:51:45.150
- I WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE.
- 00:51:45.150 --> 00:51:47.280
- GO AHEAD.
- 00:51:47.280 --> 00:51:48.140
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:51:48.140 --> 00:51:49.120
- - LES: WHERE AM I?
- 00:51:49.120 --> 00:51:51.170
- AND, BY THE WAY, BOTH OF YOU ARE
- 00:51:51.170 --> 00:51:53.070
- PRESENT-ORIENTED.
- 00:51:53.070 --> 00:51:54.070
- - LESLIE & LAURIE: YEAH, YES.
- 00:51:54.070 --> 00:51:56.220
- - LESLIE: I'M ALL ABOUT THE
- 00:51:56.220 --> 00:51:57.130
- HERE AND NOW.
- 00:51:57.130 --> 00:51:58.090
- I GET ALL MY ENERGY FROM BEING
- 00:51:58.090 --> 00:52:01.060
- FULLY PRESENT.
- 00:52:01.060 --> 00:52:01.200
- I'M WITH WHO I'M WITH, AND
- 00:52:01.200 --> 00:52:03.290
- THAT'S ALL I'M THINKING ABOUT.
- 00:52:03.290 --> 00:52:04.200
- I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT TOMORROW
- 00:52:04.200 --> 00:52:05.150
- OR FIVE YEARS FROM NOW, AND,
- 00:52:05.150 --> 00:52:06.050
- YEAH.
- 00:52:06.050 --> 00:52:07.210
- - LES: AND YOU'RE NOT SCHEDULED
- 00:52:07.210 --> 00:52:08.130
- EITHER.
- 00:52:08.130 --> 00:52:08.230
- I'M SCHEDULED, AND YOU'RE
- 00:52:08.230 --> 00:52:09.260
- UNSCHEDULED.
- 00:52:09.260 --> 00:52:11.080
- AND YOU'RE SCHEDULED.
- 00:52:11.080 --> 00:52:12.170
- YOU'RE WHAT WE CALL A
- 00:52:12.170 --> 00:52:15.140
- "PROCESSOR," 41%.
- 00:52:15.140 --> 00:52:16.240
- THERE'S THIS LITTLE GRID.
- 00:52:16.240 --> 00:52:17.190
- GIVES YOU SOME PARAGRAPHS DOWN
- 00:52:17.190 --> 00:52:18.100
- HERE, BUT YOU'RE 41% A
- 00:52:18.100 --> 00:52:20.140
- PROCESSOR.
- 00:52:20.140 --> 00:52:21.180
- AND, BY THE WAY, THERE'S NOT A
- 00:52:21.180 --> 00:52:23.000
- BAD ONE OR A GOOD ONE.
- 00:52:23.000 --> 00:52:24.110
- THEY'RE ALL JUST UNIQUE.
- 00:52:24.110 --> 00:52:25.240
- THAT'S HOW GOD MADE US, RIGHT?
- 00:52:25.240 --> 00:52:26.150
- SO LESLIE IS AN "ACCOMMODATOR."
- 00:52:26.150 --> 00:52:29.090
- I'M A "PLANNER."
- 00:52:29.090 --> 00:52:29.290
- YOU'RE A "DREAMER."
- 00:52:29.290 --> 00:52:32.080
- - LESLIE: AND YOU'RE A
- 00:52:32.080 --> 00:52:32.260
- "PROCESSOR."
- 00:52:32.260 --> 00:52:33.080
- WE GOT IT ALL COVERED.
- 00:52:33.080 --> 00:52:34.000
- - LAURIE: YEAH, WE GOT IT
- 00:52:34.000 --> 00:52:34.190
- COVERED, POWER TEAM.
- 00:52:34.190 --> 00:52:35.150
- - LES: BUT I'LL GIVE YOU A
- 00:52:35.150 --> 00:52:36.050
- QUICK EXAMPLE.
- 00:52:36.050 --> 00:52:36.270
- LESLIE SAID, AS A PERSON THAT IS
- 00:52:36.270 --> 00:52:39.160
- SUBJECTIVE WITH HER TIME, NOT
- 00:52:39.160 --> 00:52:40.270
- SCHEDULED, SHE SAID JUST A
- 00:52:40.270 --> 00:52:42.200
- LITTLE WHILE AGO-- DO YOU
- 00:52:42.200 --> 00:52:43.170
- REMEMBER THIS?
- 00:52:43.170 --> 00:52:44.020
- -- SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO
- 00:52:44.020 --> 00:52:44.210
- STARBUCKS.
- 00:52:44.210 --> 00:52:45.080
- I'LL GO GET A, YOU KNOW, CUP OF
- 00:52:45.080 --> 00:52:46.040
- COFFEE."
- 00:52:46.040 --> 00:52:47.000
- AND, BY THE WAY,
- 00:52:47.000 --> 00:52:47.290
- I DON'T DRINK COFFEE.
- 00:52:47.290 --> 00:52:49.170
- SHE DRINKS ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF
- 00:52:49.170 --> 00:52:50.080
- US, BUT I WILL GO WITH HER TO
- 00:52:50.080 --> 00:52:51.060
- STARBUCKS AND GET SOMETHIN' ELSE
- 00:52:51.060 --> 00:52:52.020
- AND--
- 00:52:52.020 --> 00:52:54.100
- - LESLIE: STEAMED MILK.
- 00:52:54.100 --> 00:52:54.290
- - LES: YES, THAT'S WHAT I GET.
- 00:52:54.290 --> 00:52:55.220
- AND SO I SAID, "WE DON'T HAVE
- 00:52:55.220 --> 00:52:56.270
- TIME TO GO DOWN THERE," AND SHE
- 00:52:56.270 --> 00:52:58.080
- SAID, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- 00:52:58.080 --> 00:52:59.100
- IT'S LIKE FIVE MINUTES FROM
- 00:52:59.100 --> 00:53:00.060
- HERE."
- 00:53:00.060 --> 00:53:00.240
- I SAID, "NO, IT'S LIKE
- 00:53:00.240 --> 00:53:01.240
- 25 MINUTES FROM HERE."
- 00:53:01.240 --> 00:53:03.000
- AND SHE'LL SAY,
- 00:53:03.000 --> 00:53:04.030
- "WELL, IT FEELS LIKE
- 00:53:04.030 --> 00:53:05.000
- FIVE MINUTES."
- 00:53:05.000 --> 00:53:05.130
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:53:05.130 --> 00:53:07.270
- I DON'T CARE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE.
- 00:53:07.270 --> 00:53:08.190
- IT'S 25 MINUTES, YOU KNOW?
- 00:53:08.190 --> 00:53:09.140
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:53:09.140 --> 00:53:10.120
- AND SO BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT-- IF
- 00:53:10.120 --> 00:53:12.180
- YOU'RE SUBJECTIVE WITH YOUR
- 00:53:12.180 --> 00:53:13.250
- TIME-- AND SHE'S A BUSY WOMAN.
- 00:53:13.250 --> 00:53:15.220
- HER PLATE IS FULL, BUT IF YOU
- 00:53:15.220 --> 00:53:17.110
- ASK HER FOR, "HEY, CAN WE MEET
- 00:53:17.110 --> 00:53:19.100
- NEXT THURSDAY AT 3 O'CLOCK?"
- 00:53:19.100 --> 00:53:20.220
- SHE DOESN'T LOOK AT A CALENDAR.
- 00:53:20.220 --> 00:53:22.040
- SHE KIND OF LOOKS UP INTO THE
- 00:53:22.040 --> 00:53:24.000
- HEAVENS FOR A MINUTE AND GOES,
- 00:53:24.000 --> 00:53:24.210
- "YEAH, THAT FEELS GOOD."
- 00:53:24.210 --> 00:53:26.260
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:53:26.260 --> 00:53:27.100
- "OKAY, WE CAN DO THAT," RIGHT?
- 00:53:27.100 --> 00:53:28.170
- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- 00:53:28.170 --> 00:53:29.090
- SHE'S SUBJECTIVE.
- 00:53:29.090 --> 00:53:29.250
- - LESLIE: WELL, IT'S CALLED
- 00:53:29.250 --> 00:53:30.230
- "ACCOMMODATOR" BECAUSE I'M ALL
- 00:53:30.230 --> 00:53:31.280
- ABOUT THE PRESENT, AND I'M
- 00:53:31.280 --> 00:53:33.060
- SUBJECTIVE, UNSCHEDULED, BECAUSE
- 00:53:33.060 --> 00:53:35.140
- I WANNA BE ABLE TO MAKE SPACE
- 00:53:35.140 --> 00:53:37.010
- RIGHT NOW FOR WHATEVER IS FUN IN
- 00:53:37.010 --> 00:53:38.150
- THE MOMENT.
- 00:53:38.150 --> 00:53:39.190
- I DON'T WANNA BE HEMMED IN BY A
- 00:53:39.190 --> 00:53:40.220
- SCHEDULED.
- 00:53:40.220 --> 00:53:42.250
- - LES: THIS IS A GOOD EXAMPLE
- 00:53:42.250 --> 00:53:43.170
- OF AWARENESS.
- 00:53:43.170 --> 00:53:44.030
- WE STARTED AT THE TOP OF THE
- 00:53:44.030 --> 00:53:44.250
- SHOW, TALKING ABOUT AWARENESS.
- 00:53:44.250 --> 00:53:45.230
- - MATT: KNOWING WHAT SETS OFF
- 00:53:45.230 --> 00:53:47.250
- SOMEBODY OR THE WAY THEY ARE
- 00:53:47.250 --> 00:53:50.150
- NATURALLY AND ALL OF THAT COMES
- 00:53:50.150 --> 00:53:53.090
- TO LIGHT.
- 00:53:53.090 --> 00:53:53.260
- - LES: AND SO NOW, ONCE YOU
- 00:53:53.260 --> 00:53:54.170
- BECOME AWARE OF YOUR TIME-STYLES
- 00:53:54.170 --> 00:53:55.120
- TOGETHER THROUGH THIS BETTER
- 00:53:55.120 --> 00:53:56.130
- LOVE ASSESSMENT, YOU NOW CAN
- 00:53:56.130 --> 00:53:58.270
- LEVERAGE THAT SO THAT YOU'RE
- 00:53:58.270 --> 00:54:00.190
- RECLAIMING THE MOMENTS YOU'VE
- 00:54:00.190 --> 00:54:01.290
- BEEN MISSING TOGETHER AS A
- 00:54:01.290 --> 00:54:03.090
- COUPLE.
- 00:54:03.090 --> 00:54:03.280
- - LESLIE: IT'S SO POWERFUL.
- 00:54:03.280 --> 00:54:04.260
- - MATT: I LEARNED AT ONE POINT
- 00:54:04.260 --> 00:54:06.130
- THAT, IF WE'RE IN A BIG GROUP,
- 00:54:06.130 --> 00:54:09.060
- LAURIE MIGHT BE FOUND, KIND OF,
- 00:54:09.060 --> 00:54:11.200
- OFF IN A SMALLER GROUP-- SO THAT
- 00:54:12.020 --> 00:54:15.020
- I'M MORE PEOPLE-ENERGIZED.
- 00:54:15.020 --> 00:54:16.240
- I LIKE BEING IN AND AMONGST, BUT
- 00:54:16.240 --> 00:54:18.270
- IT IS-- I'M, IN ESSENCE,
- 00:54:18.270 --> 00:54:21.160
- PEOPLE-ENERGIZED.
- 00:54:21.160 --> 00:54:22.050
- SHE'S MORE PEOPLE-DRAINED, OR
- 00:54:22.050 --> 00:54:24.090
- THAT DRAINS HER ENERGY, AND SO
- 00:54:24.090 --> 00:54:26.070
- BUT THEN WHAT I FOUND OUT
- 00:54:29.100 --> 00:54:30.150
- THROUGH THIS ASSESSMENT IS THAT
- 00:54:31.280 --> 00:54:34.280
- SHE WOULD LIKELY BE ABLE TO
- 00:54:34.280 --> 00:54:36.180
- CAPTURE A MORE DEPTH OF A
- 00:54:36.180 --> 00:54:39.090
- RELATIONSHIP IN A SMALLER GROUP,
- 00:54:39.090 --> 00:54:41.220
- AND THAT'S WHAT SHE'S MORE
- 00:54:41.220 --> 00:54:42.200
- ABOUT.
- 00:54:42.200 --> 00:54:44.060
- - LES: AND YOUR AWARENESS OF
- 00:54:44.060 --> 00:54:45.070
- THAT GIVES YOU AN ON-RAMP FOR
- 00:54:45.070 --> 00:54:47.040
- BETTER EMPATHY FOR LAURIE, AND
- 00:54:47.040 --> 00:54:48.060
- THAT'S WHAT THIS--
- 00:54:48.060 --> 00:54:50.160
- - MATT: TO AT LEAST UNDERSTAND
- 00:54:50.160 --> 00:54:51.080
- THAT SHE'S NOT DISINTERESTED,
- 00:54:51.080 --> 00:54:53.010
- SO THAT SHE DOESN'T GET THE
- 00:54:53.010 --> 00:54:55.000
- SARCASTIC CLAP ON THE
- 00:54:55.000 --> 00:54:55.170
- WAY OUT, YOU KNOW.
- 00:54:55.170 --> 00:54:57.050
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:54:57.050 --> 00:54:58.050
- - LESLIE: SHE'S ACTUALLY BEING
- 00:54:58.050 --> 00:54:58.270
- DRAWN TO WHAT FITS WHO GOD
- 00:54:58.270 --> 00:55:00.170
- CREATED HER TO BE AND USING
- 00:55:00.170 --> 00:55:02.000
- THAT.
- 00:55:02.000 --> 00:55:03.220
- - LES: THAT'S A PRIME EXAMPLE
- 00:55:03.220 --> 00:55:04.250
- OF HOW AWARENESS LEADS TO DEEPER
- 00:55:04.250 --> 00:55:05.270
- EMPATHY, AND THAT'S WHAT I WISH
- 00:55:05.270 --> 00:55:07.240
- WE COULD GIVE TO EVERYBODY
- 00:55:07.240 --> 00:55:09.020
- THAT'S TUNED IN RIGHT NOW IS
- 00:55:09.020 --> 00:55:11.060
- THAT GIFT OF BETTER LOVE TO
- 00:55:11.060 --> 00:55:12.080
- EXPERIENCE THAT IN THEIR
- 00:55:12.080 --> 00:55:13.070
- WHETHER THEY'RE MOVING FROM BAD
- 00:55:16.280 --> 00:55:17.200
- TO BETTER, OR GOOD TO GREAT.
- 00:55:17.200 --> 00:55:18.100
- DO YOU KNOW WHAT A "BHAG" IS?
- 00:55:18.100 --> 00:55:19.110
- I'M SURE YOU DO: "A BIG HAIRY
- 00:55:19.110 --> 00:55:20.190
- AUDACIOUS GOAL," RIGHT?
- 00:55:20.190 --> 00:55:23.110
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:55:23.110 --> 00:55:23.260
- HERE'S OURS: WE WANNA SEE THE
- 00:55:23.260 --> 00:55:25.090
- DIVORCE RATE REDUCED IN LOCAL
- 00:55:25.090 --> 00:55:27.190
- CHURCHES BY A THIRD IN OUR
- 00:55:27.190 --> 00:55:29.100
- LIFETIME.
- 00:55:29.100 --> 00:55:31.290
- - MATT: BEAUTIFUL.
- 00:55:31.290 --> 00:55:32.150
- - LES: NOW, CAN YOU IMAGINE
- 00:55:32.150 --> 00:55:33.110
- WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?
- 00:55:33.110 --> 00:55:33.260
- DO YOU KNOW THAT, FOR EVERY
- 00:55:33.260 --> 00:55:34.160
- SINGLE PERCENTAGE POINT THAT WE
- 00:55:34.160 --> 00:55:35.190
- DROP THE DIVORCE RATE, THE LIVES
- 00:55:35.190 --> 00:55:37.020
- OF MORE THAN A MILLION CHILDREN
- 00:55:37.020 --> 00:55:38.070
- ARE POSITIVELY IMPACTED?
- 00:55:38.070 --> 00:55:40.010
- [APPLAUSE]
- 00:55:40.010 --> 00:55:41.120
- - MATT: OH, MY GOODNESS.
- 00:55:41.120 --> 00:55:42.020
- - LES: THINK ABOUT THAT, YEAH.
- 00:55:42.020 --> 00:55:43.070
- SO THINK ABOUT THE RIPPLE EFFECT
- 00:55:44.090 --> 00:55:47.090
- THAT WOULD HAVE IN THE CHURCH
- 00:55:47.090 --> 00:55:49.150
- 'CAUSE, RIGHT NOW, WE'RE NOT
- 00:55:49.150 --> 00:55:50.200
- DOIN' ANY BETTER THAN ANYBODY
- 00:55:50.200 --> 00:55:51.260
- ELSE, REALLY, OUT THERE, WHEN IT
- 00:55:51.260 --> 00:55:53.020
- COMES TO MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE,
- 00:55:53.020 --> 00:55:54.080
- AND SO, IF WE COULD DO THAT, IT
- 00:55:54.080 --> 00:55:56.270
- WOULD HAVE A RIPPLE EFFECT FOR
- 00:55:56.270 --> 00:55:57.280
- GENERATIONS.
- 00:55:57.280 --> 00:55:58.280
- I THINK IT WOULD BE ONE OF THE
- 00:55:58.280 --> 00:56:00.050
- GREATEST SOCIAL REVOLUTIONS THE
- 00:56:00.050 --> 00:56:01.220
- CHURCH HAS EVER SEEN, CERTAINLY,
- 00:56:01.220 --> 00:56:03.130
- IN MODERN TIMES, AND SO THAT'S
- 00:56:03.130 --> 00:56:04.180
- WHAT DRIVES US.
- 00:56:04.180 --> 00:56:06.050
- THAT'S OUR PASSION.
- 00:56:06.050 --> 00:56:07.100
- THAT'S WHY WE ARE OBSESSED WITH
- 00:56:07.100 --> 00:56:08.200
- BETTER LOVE.
- 00:56:08.200 --> 00:56:09.120
- - LAURIE: WE'RE IN WITH THAT.
- 00:56:09.120 --> 00:56:10.280
- - MATT: ABSOLUTELY.
- 00:56:10.280 --> 00:56:11.240
- JUST DO ME A FAVOR.
- 00:56:11.240 --> 00:56:13.040
- BOTH YOU GUYS, WE GOT A MINUTE
- 00:56:13.040 --> 00:56:15.070
- OR SO.
- 00:56:15.070 --> 00:56:15.240
- JUST, THERE'S THE CAMERA RIGHT
- 00:56:15.240 --> 00:56:17.040
- OVER THERE, WHICHEVER ONE THEY
- 00:56:17.040 --> 00:56:18.040
- POINT.
- 00:56:18.040 --> 00:56:18.210
- JUST, TELL THE PEOPLE TO GET THE
- 00:56:18.210 --> 00:56:19.270
- ASSESSMENT, AND WHY.
- 00:56:19.270 --> 00:56:21.230
- I MEAN, JUST GET IT.
- 00:56:21.230 --> 00:56:23.090
- - LES: YEAH, SO IF YOU'RE
- 00:56:23.090 --> 00:56:24.200
- THINKIN', "WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF
- 00:56:24.200 --> 00:56:26.080
- I WANNA INVEST IN THIS," LET ME
- 00:56:26.080 --> 00:56:27.190
- JUST TELL YOU SOMETHIN'.
- 00:56:27.190 --> 00:56:28.070
- THE COST IS PRETTY MINISCULE.
- 00:56:30.200 --> 00:56:31.110
- IT'S BASICALLY THE PRICE OF A
- 00:56:31.110 --> 00:56:32.080
- MEAL, AND IT'S AN INVESTMENT OF
- 00:56:32.080 --> 00:56:34.190
- MAYBE 15 MINUTES OF YOUR TIME.
- 00:56:34.190 --> 00:56:36.140
- HOW MUCH IS THAT INVESTMENT
- 00:56:36.150 --> 00:56:39.150
- WORTH?
- 00:56:39.150 --> 00:56:41.000
- A LIFETIME OF BETTER LOVE.
- 00:56:41.000 --> 00:56:43.210
- WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANNA DO THAT?
- 00:56:43.210 --> 00:56:44.210
- SO THAT'S WHY WE'RE PASSIONATE
- 00:56:44.210 --> 00:56:46.010
- ABOUT THIS.
- 00:56:46.010 --> 00:56:46.280
- WE WANT YOU TO ENJOY LOVE AT THE
- 00:56:46.280 --> 00:56:48.290
- HIGHEST LEVELS.
- 00:56:48.290 --> 00:56:50.250
- WE WANT YOU TO ENJOY THAT KIND
- 00:56:50.250 --> 00:56:52.070
- OF INTIMACY AND CONNECTION
- 00:56:52.070 --> 00:56:54.150
- BECAUSE, LIKE I SAID EARLIER,
- 00:56:54.150 --> 00:56:55.290
- LIFE DOESN'T GET MUCH SWEETER
- 00:56:55.290 --> 00:56:57.180
- WHEN YOU HAVE THAT WITH ANOTHER
- 00:56:57.180 --> 00:56:58.130
- PERSON.
- 00:56:58.130 --> 00:56:58.270
- - LESLIE: THAT'S RIGHT.
- 00:56:58.270 --> 00:56:59.210
- - LAURIE: GOOD.
- 00:56:59.210 --> 00:57:00.140
- WHAT DO YOU SAY TO COUPLES THAT
- 00:57:00.140 --> 00:57:01.220
- ARE GETTING MARRIED?
- 00:57:01.220 --> 00:57:03.020
- "YOU SPEND SO MUCH ON YOUR
- 00:57:06.060 --> 00:57:06.260
- WEDDING, BUT YOU DON'T PUT THE
- 00:57:06.260 --> 00:57:07.210
- TIME AND ENERGY INTO IT BEFORE
- 00:57:07.210 --> 00:57:08.120
- YOU GET MARRIED."
- 00:57:08.120 --> 00:57:10.030
- - LES: YEAH, SO SAVING YOUR
- 00:57:10.030 --> 00:57:11.000
- MARRIAGE BEFORE IT STARTS,
- 00:57:11.000 --> 00:57:11.200
- RIGHT?
- 00:57:11.200 --> 00:57:12.240
- - LESLIE: YEAH, IT'S ALL ABOUT
- 00:57:12.240 --> 00:57:13.160
- THAT BECAUSE WE REALIZE THAT WE
- 00:57:13.160 --> 00:57:14.080
- WERE WORKING WITH SO MANY YOUNG
- 00:57:14.080 --> 00:57:15.080
- COUPLES WHO WERE PLANNING FOR
- 00:57:15.080 --> 00:57:17.290
- THE WEDDING DAY AND NOT PLANNING
- 00:57:17.290 --> 00:57:20.130
- FOR THE LIFELONG RELATIONSHIP
- 00:57:20.130 --> 00:57:23.080
- THAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT.
- 00:57:23.080 --> 00:57:24.070
- - LES: AND SO IT'S NOT JUST
- 00:57:24.070 --> 00:57:25.000
- ABOUT THE MATCH.
- 00:57:25.000 --> 00:57:25.230
- IT'S ABOUT THE SKILLS THAT YOU
- 00:57:25.230 --> 00:57:26.200
- CULTIVATE, AND WE CALL THEM
- 00:57:26.200 --> 00:57:28.020
- "HONEYMOON HABITS," THE THINGS
- 00:57:28.020 --> 00:57:29.110
- YOU DO IN THE FIRST YEAR OF THAT
- 00:57:29.110 --> 00:57:31.140
- MARRIAGE TOGETHER, THEY'LL LAST
- 00:57:31.140 --> 00:57:32.190
- FOR DECADES, SO YOU WANNA-- YOU
- 00:57:32.190 --> 00:57:34.110
- KNOW, IF WE'RE EVER TALKING TO A
- 00:57:34.110 --> 00:57:36.190
- GROUP OF ENGAGED COUPLES OR
- 00:57:36.190 --> 00:57:37.200
- NEWLYWEDS, WE TELL 'EM, "CHOOSE
- 00:57:37.200 --> 00:57:39.040
- YOUR RUTS CAREFULLY 'CAUSE
- 00:57:39.040 --> 00:57:40.220
- YOU'RE GONNA BE IN 'EM FOR A
- 00:57:40.220 --> 00:57:41.200
- LONG TIME," RIGHT?
- 00:57:41.200 --> 00:57:43.020
- AND SO WE WANNA HELP THEM CARVE
- 00:57:43.020 --> 00:57:43.240
- GROOVES INTO THAT RELATIONSHIP
- 00:57:43.240 --> 00:57:46.190
- THAT ARE PRODUCTIVE AND POSITIVE
- 00:57:46.190 --> 00:57:47.120
- AND GOD-HONORING.
- 00:57:48.050 --> 00:57:51.050
- - LAURIE: BEAUTIFUL.
- 00:57:51.050 --> 00:57:51.220
- - LESLIE: TO PREVENT THE PAIN
- 00:57:51.220 --> 00:57:52.140
- AND MAXIMIZE THE JOY.
- 00:57:52.140 --> 00:57:53.010
- - MATT: I LOVE THAT BECAUSE,
- 00:57:53.010 --> 00:57:53.270
- YOU KNOW, AT SOME POINT, WHAT
- 00:57:53.280 --> 00:57:56.280
- WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS
- 00:57:56.280 --> 00:57:57.270
- ENTIRE BROADCAST IS JUST WHAT
- 00:57:57.270 --> 00:57:59.220
- MAKES YOUR RELATIONSHIPS BETTER,
- 00:58:00.190 --> 00:58:03.190
- WHAT MAKES THE RELATIONSHIP WITH
- 00:58:03.190 --> 00:58:05.180
- YOUR SPOUSE OR WHAT MAKES YOUR
- 00:58:05.180 --> 00:58:07.270
- RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR KIDS OR
- 00:58:07.270 --> 00:58:09.090
- YOUR COWORKERS OR YOUR FAMILY
- 00:58:09.090 --> 00:58:10.200
- MEMBERS, OR ALL THAT KIND OF
- 00:58:10.200 --> 00:58:11.250
- STUFF-- THAT'S WHAT WE'RE
- 00:58:11.250 --> 00:58:12.230
- TALKIN' ABOUT.
- 00:58:12.230 --> 00:58:13.140
- ALL OF THESE ASSESSMENTS, ALL
- 00:58:13.140 --> 00:58:14.280
- THE INFORMATION ABOUT THEM IS ON
- 00:58:14.280 --> 00:58:16.040
- WE WANT YOU TO GET 'EM.
- 00:58:18.230 --> 00:58:19.110
- WE WANNA SEE THIS DIVORCE RATE--
- 00:58:19.110 --> 00:58:20.030
- IT STARTS WITH FIGURING OUT HOW
- 00:58:20.070 --> 00:58:23.070
- TO FIX YOUR GUYS' RELATIONSHIP--
- 00:58:23.070 --> 00:58:25.000
- MADGE, GERRY, JIM.
- 00:58:25.160 --> 00:58:28.160
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:58:28.160 --> 00:58:29.180
- GO GET THE ASSESSMENT TEST, AND
- 00:58:32.240 --> 00:58:33.160
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
- 00:58:33.160 --> 00:58:34.100
- I JUST WANNA SAY THANK YOU TO
- 00:58:34.100 --> 00:58:36.010
- AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
- 00:58:39.270 --> 00:58:41.020
- GET THE ASSESSMENT TEST.
- 00:58:41.020 --> 00:58:42.060
- ALL THE INFORMATION IS ON THE
- 00:58:42.060 --> 00:58:42.270
- SCREEN.
- 00:58:42.270 --> 00:58:43.100
- WE'LL SEE YA NEXT TIME.
- 00:58:43.100 --> 00:58:44.020
- - LAURIE: LOVE YOU.
- 00:58:44.020 --> 00:58:44.290
- - MATT: BYE-BYE.
- 00:58:44.290 --> 00:58:46.010