Praise | February 10, 2021 | TBN

Praise | February 10, 2021

Watch Praise | February 10, 2021
February 10, 2021
55:24

Matt and Laurie Crouch host Dr. Gary Chapman from Dallas; TX.

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Praise | February 10, 2021

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  • [MUSIC]
  • 00:00:03.359 --> 00:00:07.097
  • [MUSIC]- MALE ANNOUNCER: TONIGHT
  • 00:00:07.163 --> 00:00:07.697
  • - MALE ANNOUNCER: TONIGHTON "PRAISE,"
  • 00:00:07.764 --> 00:00:08.965
  • ON "PRAISE,"FROM DALLAS,
  • 00:00:09.032 --> 00:00:10.567
  • FROM DALLAS,AUTHOR AND BEST-SELLER OF
  • 00:00:10.633 --> 00:00:11.134
  • AUTHOR AND BEST-SELLER OF"THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES"
  • 00:00:11.201 --> 00:00:13.403
  • "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES"SERIES, DR. GARY CHAPMAN.
  • 00:00:13.470 --> 00:00:16.840
  • SERIES, DR. GARY CHAPMAN.[MUSIC]
  • 00:00:16.906 --> 00:00:19.976
  • [MUSIC]- ANNOUNCER: AND NOW
  • 00:00:20.043 --> 00:00:20.844
  • - ANNOUNCER: AND NOWMATT AND LAURIE CROUCH.
  • 00:00:20.910 --> 00:00:23.813
  • MATT AND LAURIE CROUCH.- MATT CROUCH: WE WELCOME
  • 00:00:23.880 --> 00:00:24.948
  • - MATT CROUCH: WE WELCOMEYOU TO "PRAISE," RIGHT
  • 00:00:25.014 --> 00:00:26.483
  • YOU TO "PRAISE," RIGHTHERE IN DALLAS, TEXAS, AND
  • 00:00:26.549 --> 00:00:28.118
  • HERE IN DALLAS, TEXAS, ANDTODAY IS A BUCKET LIST
  • 00:00:28.184 --> 00:00:31.221
  • TODAY IS A BUCKET LISTEVENT FOR LAURIE AND ME.
  • 00:00:31.287 --> 00:00:35.125
  • EVENT FOR LAURIE AND ME."THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES" IS
  • 00:00:35.191 --> 00:00:36.092
  • "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES" ISSOMETHING THAT EVERYONE
  • 00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:39.195
  • SOMETHING THAT EVERYONEKNOWS AND HAS SEEN, AND
  • 00:00:39.262 --> 00:00:40.797
  • KNOWS AND HAS SEEN, ANDMORE THAN 12 MILLION
  • 00:00:40.864 --> 00:00:43.800
  • MORE THAN 12 MILLIONCOPIES ARE NOW BEEN SOLD.
  • 00:00:43.867 --> 00:00:47.170
  • COPIES ARE NOW BEEN SOLD.WHAT WAS THE GENESIS OF
  • 00:00:47.237 --> 00:00:47.704
  • WHAT WAS THE GENESIS OFTHIS BOOK?
  • 00:00:47.770 --> 00:00:49.939
  • THIS BOOK?WHAT MADE YOU WRITE IT?
  • 00:00:50.006 --> 00:00:51.508
  • WHAT MADE YOU WRITE IT?THIRTY YEARS LATER, YOU
  • 00:00:51.574 --> 00:00:53.309
  • THIRTY YEARS LATER, YOUWOULD'VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD
  • 00:00:53.376 --> 00:00:54.544
  • WOULD'VE NEVER UNDERSTOODTHAT IT WOULD BE ONE OF
  • 00:00:54.611 --> 00:00:55.078
  • THAT IT WOULD BE ONE OFTHE TOP-SELLING BOOKS IN
  • 00:00:55.145 --> 00:00:56.913
  • THE TOP-SELLING BOOKS INTHE HISTORY OF CHRISTIAN
  • 00:00:56.980 --> 00:00:58.481
  • THE HISTORY OF CHRISTIANLITERATURE, BUT IT IS.
  • 00:00:58.548 --> 00:01:00.016
  • LITERATURE, BUT IT IS.SO WHAT'S DAY ONE OF
  • 00:01:00.083 --> 00:01:02.018
  • SO WHAT'S DAY ONE OF"5 LOVE LANGUAGES"?
  • 00:01:02.085 --> 00:01:05.588
  • - DR. GARY CHAPMAN: IT
  • 00:01:06.156 --> 00:01:06.623
  • - DR. GARY CHAPMAN: ITACTUALLY GREW OUT OF MY
  • 00:01:06.689 --> 00:01:07.190
  • ACTUALLY GREW OUT OF MYCOUNSELING.
  • 00:01:07.257 --> 00:01:08.458
  • COUNSELING.I'LL NEVER FORGET THE FIRST
  • 00:01:08.525 --> 00:01:09.826
  • I'LL NEVER FORGET THE FIRSTTIME IT DAWNED ON ME THAT
  • 00:01:09.893 --> 00:01:11.161
  • TIME IT DAWNED ON ME THATWHAT MAKES ONE PERSON FEEL
  • 00:01:11.227 --> 00:01:12.662
  • WHAT MAKES ONE PERSON FEELLOVED DOESN'T MAKE ANOTHER
  • 00:01:12.729 --> 00:01:13.429
  • LOVED DOESN'T MAKE ANOTHERPERSON FEEL LOVED.
  • 00:01:13.496 --> 00:01:15.031
  • A COUPLE CAME IN TO SEE ME.
  • 00:01:15.598 --> 00:01:16.366
  • A COUPLE CAME IN TO SEE ME.I DIDN'T KNOW THEM.
  • 00:01:16.432 --> 00:01:16.833
  • I DIDN'T KNOW THEM.NEVER MET THEM.
  • 00:01:16.900 --> 00:01:17.367
  • NEVER MET THEM.FOUND OUT THEY'D BEEN
  • 00:01:17.433 --> 00:01:18.568
  • FOUND OUT THEY'D BEENMARRIED TO EACH OTHER FOR
  • 00:01:18.635 --> 00:01:19.469
  • MARRIED TO EACH OTHER FOR30 YEARS.
  • 00:01:19.536 --> 00:01:20.436
  • 30 YEARS.THE WIFE SAT DOWN AND
  • 00:01:20.503 --> 00:01:21.938
  • THE WIFE SAT DOWN ANDSAID, "DR. CHAPMAN,
  • 00:01:22.005 --> 00:01:22.772
  • SAID, "DR. CHAPMAN,WE JUST TELL YOU
  • 00:01:22.839 --> 00:01:23.606
  • WE JUST TELL YOUA LITTLE BIT ABOUT US
  • 00:01:23.673 --> 00:01:24.874
  • A LITTLE BIT ABOUT USBEFORE WE START.
  • 00:01:24.941 --> 00:01:26.309
  • BEFORE WE START.SHE SAID,
  • 00:01:26.376 --> 00:01:26.743
  • SHE SAID,"WE DON'T ARGUE.
  • 00:01:26.809 --> 00:01:28.311
  • "WE DON'T ARGUE.WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY
  • 00:01:28.378 --> 00:01:29.812
  • WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEYPROBLEMS."
  • 00:01:29.879 --> 00:01:30.980
  • PROBLEMS."AND SHE WENT ON WITH
  • 00:01:31.047 --> 00:01:31.748
  • AND SHE WENT ON WITHTWO OR THREE MORE POSITIVE
  • 00:01:31.814 --> 00:01:32.682
  • TWO OR THREE MORE POSITIVETHINGS, AND I WAS
  • 00:01:32.749 --> 00:01:33.716
  • THINGS, AND I WASBEGINNING TO ASK MYSELF,
  • 00:01:33.783 --> 00:01:35.385
  • BEGINNING TO ASK MYSELF,"DID THEY COME IN TO TELL
  • 00:01:35.451 --> 00:01:36.319
  • "DID THEY COME IN TO TELLME WHAT A GOOD MARRIAGE
  • 00:01:36.386 --> 00:01:36.853
  • ME WHAT A GOOD MARRIAGETHEY HAVE?"
  • 00:01:36.920 --> 00:01:38.154
  • THEY HAVE?"AND THEN SHE STARTED
  • 00:01:38.221 --> 00:01:39.389
  • AND THEN SHE STARTEDCRYING, AND SHE SAID, "BUT
  • 00:01:39.455 --> 00:01:40.423
  • CRYING, AND SHE SAID, "BUTTHE PROBLEM IS I JUST
  • 00:01:40.490 --> 00:01:42.392
  • THE PROBLEM IS I JUSTDON'T FEEL ANY LOVE COMING
  • 00:01:42.458 --> 00:01:43.826
  • DON'T FEEL ANY LOVE COMINGFROM HIM."
  • 00:01:43.893 --> 00:01:45.461
  • FROM HIM."SHE SAID,
  • 00:01:45.528 --> 00:01:46.262
  • SHE SAID,"WE'RE LIKE TWO ROOMMATES
  • 00:01:46.329 --> 00:01:46.829
  • "WE'RE LIKE TWO ROOMMATESLIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE.
  • 00:01:46.896 --> 00:01:48.865
  • LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE.HE DOES HIS THING, AND I
  • 00:01:48.932 --> 00:01:49.933
  • HE DOES HIS THING, AND IDO MY THING, AND I FEEL SO
  • 00:01:49.999 --> 00:01:51.734
  • DO MY THING, AND I FEEL SOEMPTY, AND I DON'T KNOW
  • 00:01:51.801 --> 00:01:52.902
  • EMPTY, AND I DON'T KNOWHOW LONG I COULD GO ON
  • 00:01:52.969 --> 00:01:53.369
  • HOW LONG I COULD GO ONLIKE THIS."
  • 00:01:53.436 --> 00:01:54.504
  • LIKE THIS."I LOOKED AT HER HUSBAND,
  • 00:01:54.571 --> 00:01:55.004
  • I LOOKED AT HER HUSBAND,AND HE SAID,
  • 00:01:55.071 --> 00:01:57.340
  • AND HE SAID,"I DON'T UNDERSTAND HER.
  • 00:01:57.407 --> 00:02:00.210
  • "I DON'T UNDERSTAND HER.I DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO
  • 00:02:00.276 --> 00:02:01.644
  • I DO EVERYTHING I CAN TOSHOW HER THAT I LOVE HER,
  • 00:02:01.711 --> 00:02:03.546
  • SHOW HER THAT I LOVE HER,AND SHE SITS THERE AND
  • 00:02:03.613 --> 00:02:04.314
  • AND SHE SITS THERE ANDTELLS YOU WHAT SHE'S BEEN
  • 00:02:04.380 --> 00:02:05.582
  • TELLS YOU WHAT SHE'S BEENTELLING ME: SHE DOESN'T
  • 00:02:05.648 --> 00:02:06.115
  • TELLING ME: SHE DOESN'TFEEL LOVED."
  • 00:02:06.182 --> 00:02:07.283
  • FEEL LOVED."HE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW
  • 00:02:07.350 --> 00:02:07.884
  • HE SAID, "I DON'T KNOWWHAT ELSE TO DO."
  • 00:02:07.951 --> 00:02:10.520
  • WHAT ELSE TO DO."I SAID, "WELL, WHAT
  • 00:02:10.587 --> 00:02:11.154
  • I SAID, "WELL, WHATDO YOU DO TO SHOW YOUR
  • 00:02:11.221 --> 00:02:12.188
  • DO YOU DO TO SHOW YOURLOVE TO HER?"
  • 00:02:12.255 --> 00:02:14.023
  • LOVE TO HER?"HE SAID, "WELL, I GET HOME
  • 00:02:14.090 --> 00:02:14.857
  • HE SAID, "WELL, I GET HOMEFROM WORK BEFORE SHE DOES,
  • 00:02:14.924 --> 00:02:16.326
  • FROM WORK BEFORE SHE DOES,SO I START THE EVENING
  • 00:02:16.392 --> 00:02:17.227
  • SO I START THE EVENINGMEAL.
  • 00:02:17.293 --> 00:02:18.294
  • MEAL.SOMETIMES I HAVE IT READY
  • 00:02:18.361 --> 00:02:19.395
  • SOMETIMES I HAVE IT READYWHEN SHE GETS HOME.
  • 00:02:19.462 --> 00:02:20.697
  • WHEN SHE GETS HOME.IF NOT, SHE'LL HELP ME,
  • 00:02:20.763 --> 00:02:22.332
  • IF NOT, SHE'LL HELP ME,AND THEN WE EAT, AND AFTER
  • 00:02:22.398 --> 00:02:24.500
  • AND THEN WE EAT, AND AFTERWE EAT," HE SAID,
  • 00:02:24.567 --> 00:02:25.168
  • WE EAT," HE SAID,"I WASH THE DISHES.
  • 00:02:25.235 --> 00:02:28.104
  • "I WASH THE DISHES.AND EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT,
  • 00:02:28.171 --> 00:02:28.738
  • AND EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT,I VACUUM THE FLOORS, AND
  • 00:02:28.805 --> 00:02:29.439
  • I VACUUM THE FLOORS, ANDEVERY SATURDAY I WASH THE
  • 00:02:29.505 --> 00:02:30.506
  • EVERY SATURDAY I WASH THECAR AND HELP HER WITH THE
  • 00:02:30.573 --> 00:02:31.074
  • CAR AND HELP HER WITH THELAUNDRY."
  • 00:02:31.140 --> 00:02:31.507
  • LAUNDRY."AND HE WENT ON,
  • 00:02:31.574 --> 00:02:32.408
  • AND HE WENT ON,AND I WAS BEGINNING TO
  • 00:02:32.475 --> 00:02:32.942
  • AND I WAS BEGINNING TOWONDER, "WHAT DOES THIS
  • 00:02:33.009 --> 00:02:33.977
  • WONDER, "WHAT DOES THISWOMAN DO?"
  • 00:02:34.043 --> 00:02:35.178
  • WOMAN DO?"[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:02:35.245 --> 00:02:37.146
  • [LAUGHTER]IT SOUNDED TO ME LIKE HE'S
  • 00:02:37.213 --> 00:02:37.714
  • IT SOUNDED TO ME LIKE HE'SDOIN' EVERYTHING.
  • 00:02:37.780 --> 00:02:39.148
  • DOIN' EVERYTHING.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:02:39.215 --> 00:02:41.751
  • [LAUGHTER]AND I LOOKED BACK AT HER,
  • 00:02:41.818 --> 00:02:42.752
  • AND I LOOKED BACK AT HER,AND SHE SAID, "DR. CHAPMAN,
  • 00:02:42.819 --> 00:02:44.387
  • AND SHE SAID, "DR. CHAPMAN,HE'S RIGHT.
  • 00:02:44.454 --> 00:02:47.624
  • HE'S RIGHT.HE IS A HARDWORKING MAN,"
  • 00:02:47.690 --> 00:02:48.958
  • HE IS A HARDWORKING MAN,"AND THEN SHE STARTED
  • 00:02:49.025 --> 00:02:49.459
  • AND THEN SHE STARTEDCRYING AGAIN.
  • 00:02:49.525 --> 00:02:51.461
  • CRYING AGAIN.AND SHE SAID, "BUT WE
  • 00:02:51.527 --> 00:02:51.961
  • AND SHE SAID, "BUT WEDON'T EVER TALK.
  • 00:02:52.028 --> 00:02:54.597
  • DON'T EVER TALK.WE HAVEN'T TALKED IN 20 YEARS."
  • 00:02:54.664 --> 00:02:56.499
  • WE HAVEN'T TALKED IN 20 YEARS."SHE SAID, "HE'S ALWAYS
  • 00:02:56.566 --> 00:02:57.066
  • SHE SAID, "HE'S ALWAYSMOWIN' THE GRASS,
  • 00:02:57.133 --> 00:02:58.067
  • MOWIN' THE GRASS,WASHIN' THE DISHES, ALWAYS
  • 00:02:58.134 --> 00:02:58.701
  • WASHIN' THE DISHES, ALWAYSDOING SOMETHIN'."
  • 00:02:58.768 --> 00:02:59.969
  • DOING SOMETHIN'."- LAURIE: WOW.
  • 00:03:00.036 --> 00:03:02.538
  • - LAURIE: WOW.- DR. CHAPMAN: AND I
  • 00:03:02.605 --> 00:03:03.006
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: AND IREALIZED HERE WAS A
  • 00:03:03.072 --> 00:03:04.707
  • REALIZED HERE WAS ASINCERE HUSBAND, WHO WAS
  • 00:03:04.774 --> 00:03:05.575
  • SINCERE HUSBAND, WHO WASEXPRESSING LOVE THE BEST
  • 00:03:05.642 --> 00:03:06.509
  • EXPRESSING LOVE THE BESTWAY HE KNEW HOW, AND HIS
  • 00:03:06.576 --> 00:03:07.810
  • WAY HE KNEW HOW, AND HISWIFE WASN'T GETTING IT,
  • 00:03:07.877 --> 00:03:09.612
  • WIFE WASN'T GETTING IT,AND AFTER THAT EXPERIENCE,
  • 00:03:09.679 --> 00:03:11.214
  • AND AFTER THAT EXPERIENCE,I HEARD THAT STORY OVER
  • 00:03:11.281 --> 00:03:13.483
  • I HEARD THAT STORY OVERAND OVER AND OVER IN MY
  • 00:03:13.549 --> 00:03:14.984
  • AND OVER AND OVER IN MYOFFICE WITH OTHER COUPLES,
  • 00:03:15.051 --> 00:03:16.019
  • OFFICE WITH OTHER COUPLES,AND I KNEW THERE HAD TO BE
  • 00:03:16.085 --> 00:03:17.620
  • AND I KNEW THERE HAD TO BEA PATTERN TO IT, BUT I HAD
  • 00:03:17.687 --> 00:03:18.855
  • A PATTERN TO IT, BUT I HADNO IDEA WHAT IT WAS.
  • 00:03:18.921 --> 00:03:19.689
  • NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS.SO, EVENTUALLY, I TOOK
  • 00:03:19.756 --> 00:03:22.292
  • SO, EVENTUALLY, I TOOKTIME TO SIT DOWN AND READ
  • 00:03:22.358 --> 00:03:22.859
  • TIME TO SIT DOWN AND READSEVERAL YEARS OF NOTES
  • 00:03:22.925 --> 00:03:25.228
  • SEVERAL YEARS OF NOTESTHAT I MADE WHEN I WAS
  • 00:03:25.295 --> 00:03:26.462
  • THAT I MADE WHEN I WASCOUNSELING AND ASKED
  • 00:03:26.529 --> 00:03:28.064
  • COUNSELING AND ASKEDMYSELF, "WHEN SOMEONE
  • 00:03:28.131 --> 00:03:29.132
  • MYSELF, "WHEN SOMEONESAID, 'I FEEL LIKE MY
  • 00:03:29.198 --> 00:03:30.533
  • SAID, 'I FEEL LIKE MYSPOUSE DOESN'T LOVE ME,'
  • 00:03:30.600 --> 00:03:32.302
  • SPOUSE DOESN'T LOVE ME,'WHAT DID THEY WANT?
  • 00:03:32.368 --> 00:03:33.903
  • WHAT DID THEY WANT?WHAT WERE THEY COMPLAINING
  • 00:03:33.970 --> 00:03:34.971
  • WHAT WERE THEY COMPLAININGABOUT?"
  • 00:03:35.038 --> 00:03:35.538
  • ABOUT?"AND THEIR ANSWERS FELL
  • 00:03:35.605 --> 00:03:37.240
  • AND THEIR ANSWERS FELLINTO FIVE CATEGORIES.
  • 00:03:37.307 --> 00:03:38.808
  • INTO FIVE CATEGORIES.I LATER CALLED THEM
  • 00:03:38.875 --> 00:03:39.642
  • I LATER CALLED THEM"THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES,"
  • 00:03:39.709 --> 00:03:40.643
  • "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES,"STARTED USING 'EM IN MY
  • 00:03:40.710 --> 00:03:42.512
  • STARTED USING 'EM IN MYCOUNSELING.
  • 00:03:42.578 --> 00:03:43.146
  • COUNSELING.IF YOU WANT HER TO FEEL
  • 00:03:43.212 --> 00:03:43.680
  • IF YOU WANT HER TO FEELLOVED, YOU GOTTA SPEAK
  • 00:03:43.746 --> 00:03:44.547
  • LOVED, YOU GOTTA SPEAKLOVE IN HER LANGUAGE.
  • 00:03:44.614 --> 00:03:46.316
  • LOVE IN HER LANGUAGE.IF YOU WANT HIM TO FEEL
  • 00:03:46.382 --> 00:03:47.517
  • IF YOU WANT HIM TO FEELLOVED, YOU GOTTA SPEAK HIS
  • 00:03:47.583 --> 00:03:48.084
  • LOVED, YOU GOTTA SPEAK HISLOVE LANGUAGE.
  • 00:03:48.151 --> 00:03:49.218
  • LOVE LANGUAGE.I WOULD HELP 'EM DISCOVER
  • 00:03:49.285 --> 00:03:50.887
  • I WOULD HELP 'EM DISCOVEREACH OTHER'S LOVE
  • 00:03:50.953 --> 00:03:51.754
  • EACH OTHER'S LOVELANGUAGE, CHALLENGE THEM
  • 00:03:51.821 --> 00:03:52.655
  • LANGUAGE, CHALLENGE THEMTO GO HOME AND TRY IT.
  • 00:03:52.722 --> 00:03:53.589
  • TO GO HOME AND TRY IT.SOMETIMES THEY WOULD COME
  • 00:03:53.656 --> 00:03:55.258
  • SOMETIMES THEY WOULD COMEBACK IN THREE WEEKS AND
  • 00:03:55.325 --> 00:03:56.559
  • BACK IN THREE WEEKS ANDSAY, "GARY, THIS IS
  • 00:03:56.626 --> 00:03:57.894
  • SAY, "GARY, THIS ISCHANGING EVERYTHING.
  • 00:03:57.960 --> 00:03:58.561
  • CHANGING EVERYTHING.THE WHOLE CLIMATE'S
  • 00:03:58.628 --> 00:03:59.028
  • THE WHOLE CLIMATE'SDIFFERENT NOW."
  • 00:03:59.095 --> 00:04:00.697
  • DIFFERENT NOW."THEN I STARTED USING IT
  • 00:04:00.763 --> 00:04:01.230
  • THEN I STARTED USING ITIN SMALL GROUPS OF COUPLES.
  • 00:04:01.297 --> 00:04:02.332
  • IN SMALL GROUPS OF COUPLES.THE SAME THING HAPPENED.
  • 00:04:02.398 --> 00:04:03.299
  • THE SAME THING HAPPENED.PROBABLY FIVE YEARS LATER
  • 00:04:03.366 --> 00:04:05.034
  • PROBABLY FIVE YEARS LATERI THOUGHT, "YOU KNOW, IF I
  • 00:04:05.101 --> 00:04:06.269
  • I THOUGHT, "YOU KNOW, IF ICOULD PUT THIS CONCEPT IN
  • 00:04:06.336 --> 00:04:07.337
  • COULD PUT THIS CONCEPT INA BOOK, WRITE IT IN THE
  • 00:04:07.403 --> 00:04:09.205
  • A BOOK, WRITE IT IN THELANGUAGE OF THE COMMON
  • 00:04:09.272 --> 00:04:09.972
  • LANGUAGE OF THE COMMONPERSON SO THAT PEOPLE
  • 00:04:10.039 --> 00:04:11.641
  • PERSON SO THAT PEOPLECOULD EASILY UNDERSTAND
  • 00:04:11.708 --> 00:04:12.809
  • COULD EASILY UNDERSTANDIT, MAYBE I COULD HELP A
  • 00:04:12.875 --> 00:04:14.410
  • IT, MAYBE I COULD HELP ALOT OF COUPLES I WOULD
  • 00:04:14.477 --> 00:04:16.045
  • LOT OF COUPLES I WOULDNEVER HAVE TIME TO SEE MY
  • 00:04:16.112 --> 00:04:16.612
  • NEVER HAVE TIME TO SEE MYOFFICE."
  • 00:04:16.679 --> 00:04:19.315
  • OFFICE."THAT'S WHAT MOTIVATED ME
  • 00:04:19.382 --> 00:04:19.849
  • THAT'S WHAT MOTIVATED METO WRITE THE BOOK.
  • 00:04:19.916 --> 00:04:20.883
  • TO WRITE THE BOOK.- MATT: THE TBN SPECIAL
  • 00:04:20.950 --> 00:04:21.417
  • - MATT: THE TBN SPECIALEDITION IS AVAILABLE, AND,
  • 00:04:21.484 --> 00:04:22.618
  • EDITION IS AVAILABLE, AND,DR. GARY, THANK YOU FOR
  • 00:04:22.685 --> 00:04:24.053
  • DR. GARY, THANK YOU FORORGANIZING THIS WITH YOUR
  • 00:04:24.120 --> 00:04:25.621
  • ORGANIZING THIS WITH YOURPUBLISHER, AND THIS IS--
  • 00:04:25.688 --> 00:04:27.056
  • I WANNA JUST MAKE SURE
  • 00:04:27.590 --> 00:04:27.990
  • I WANNA JUST MAKE SUREEVERYONE REALIZES THIS
  • 00:04:28.057 --> 00:04:29.692
  • EVERYONE REALIZES THISBOOK HAS BEEN UPDATED.
  • 00:04:29.759 --> 00:04:32.261
  • BOOK HAS BEEN UPDATED.IT IS AVAILABLE BY CALLING
  • 00:04:32.328 --> 00:04:33.663
  • IT IS AVAILABLE BY CALLINGOR GOING TO ALL THE
  • 00:04:33.730 --> 00:04:36.766
  • OR GOING TO ALL THEINFORMATION ON THE SCREEN.
  • 00:04:36.833 --> 00:04:39.302
  • INFORMATION ON THE SCREEN.THERE'S AN 800 NUMBER.
  • 00:04:39.369 --> 00:04:40.103
  • THERE'S AN 800 NUMBER.THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT KNOW
  • 00:04:40.169 --> 00:04:40.837
  • THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT KNOWTHAT YOU'RE CALLING FOR
  • 00:04:40.903 --> 00:04:41.637
  • THAT YOU'RE CALLING FORTHIS BOOK SPECIFICALLY.
  • 00:04:41.704 --> 00:04:43.139
  • THIS BOOK SPECIFICALLY.IT'S NOT SOME KIND OF
  • 00:04:43.206 --> 00:04:44.540
  • IT'S NOT SOME KIND OFSERVICE OUT THERE.
  • 00:04:44.607 --> 00:04:45.875
  • SERVICE OUT THERE.THIS IS A PROJECT OF TBN,
  • 00:04:45.942 --> 00:04:47.677
  • THIS IS A PROJECT OF TBN,AND WE WANT YOU TO GET
  • 00:04:47.744 --> 00:04:49.912
  • AND WE WANT YOU TO GETTHIS BOOK.
  • 00:04:49.979 --> 00:04:52.849
  • THIS BOOK.I'M KIND OF STARSTRUCK AND
  • 00:04:52.915 --> 00:04:53.416
  • I'M KIND OF STARSTRUCK ANDKIND OF FANBOYING RIGHT
  • 00:04:53.483 --> 00:04:56.018
  • KIND OF FANBOYING RIGHTNOW BECAUSE DR. CHAPMAN
  • 00:04:56.085 --> 00:04:57.453
  • NOW BECAUSE DR. CHAPMANLITERALLY HAS FIGURED OUT
  • 00:04:57.520 --> 00:04:58.221
  • LITERALLY HAS FIGURED OUTTHE CODE.
  • 00:04:58.287 --> 00:05:02.592
  • THE CODE.I MEAN, THIS IS LITERALLY
  • 00:05:02.658 --> 00:05:03.393
  • I MEAN, THIS IS LITERALLYCHANGING RELATIONSHIPS.
  • 00:05:03.459 --> 00:05:06.095
  • THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE
  • 00:05:06.662 --> 00:05:09.365
  • THERE ARE SOME PEOPLEVIEWING THIS BROADCAST
  • 00:05:09.432 --> 00:05:10.867
  • VIEWING THIS BROADCASTTHAT CAN SAY, "IT'S NOT
  • 00:05:10.933 --> 00:05:13.169
  • THAT CAN SAY, "IT'S NOTTHAT DIFFICULT.
  • 00:05:13.236 --> 00:05:15.571
  • THAT DIFFICULT.YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS
  • 00:05:15.638 --> 00:05:16.105
  • YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THISBOOK.
  • 00:05:16.172 --> 00:05:17.073
  • BOOK.YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS
  • 00:05:17.140 --> 00:05:17.807
  • YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THISBECAUSE THE HOLY SPIRIT
  • 00:05:17.874 --> 00:05:19.409
  • BECAUSE THE HOLY SPIRITJUST IS SUPPOSED TO TAKE
  • 00:05:19.475 --> 00:05:20.443
  • JUST IS SUPPOSED TO TAKECARE OF EVERYTHING, AND
  • 00:05:20.510 --> 00:05:21.611
  • CARE OF EVERYTHING, ANDTHE HOLY SPIRIT IS
  • 00:05:21.677 --> 00:05:22.412
  • THE HOLY SPIRIT ISSUPPOSED TO, YOU KNOW,
  • 00:05:22.478 --> 00:05:24.347
  • SUPPOSED TO, YOU KNOW,MOVE BY, DROP LITTLE
  • 00:05:24.414 --> 00:05:26.783
  • MOVE BY, DROP LITTLEDISNEY DUST KIND OF STUFF
  • 00:05:26.849 --> 00:05:28.584
  • DISNEY DUST KIND OF STUFFOVER YOU, AND YOU'RE
  • 00:05:28.651 --> 00:05:29.786
  • OVER YOU, AND YOU'RESUPPOSED TO THEN JUST HAVE
  • 00:05:29.852 --> 00:05:34.223
  • SUPPOSED TO THEN JUST HAVETHIS BEAUTIFUL EUPHORIC
  • 00:05:34.290 --> 00:05:34.924
  • THIS BEAUTIFUL EUPHORICFEELING--"
  • 00:05:34.991 --> 00:05:35.992
  • FEELING--"- LAURIE: OVERWHELMING LOVE.
  • 00:05:36.058 --> 00:05:36.592
  • - LAURIE: OVERWHELMING LOVE.- MATT: YEAH, FOR YOUR
  • 00:05:36.659 --> 00:05:37.894
  • - MATT: YEAH, FOR YOURSPOUSE, "AND IF THAT ISN'T
  • 00:05:37.960 --> 00:05:39.061
  • SPOUSE, "AND IF THAT ISN'TTHE CASE, THEN THERE'S
  • 00:05:39.128 --> 00:05:40.129
  • THE CASE, THEN THERE'SSOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU
  • 00:05:40.196 --> 00:05:41.197
  • SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUAND GOD."
  • 00:05:41.264 --> 00:05:43.166
  • AND GOD."YOU'RE SAYING THERE'S
  • 00:05:43.232 --> 00:05:44.700
  • YOU'RE SAYING THERE'SSOME WORK THAT
  • 00:05:44.767 --> 00:05:46.602
  • SOME WORK THATNEEDS TO BE DONE.
  • 00:05:46.669 --> 00:05:47.970
  • NEEDS TO BE DONE.ADDRESS THOSE IN THE
  • 00:05:48.037 --> 00:05:50.206
  • ADDRESS THOSE IN THEAUDIENCE THAT THINK THIS
  • 00:05:50.273 --> 00:05:51.674
  • AUDIENCE THAT THINK THISSHOULD BE A PRAYER AND A
  • 00:05:51.741 --> 00:05:53.743
  • SHOULD BE A PRAYER AND ASNAPPING OF THE FINGERS
  • 00:05:53.810 --> 00:05:56.279
  • SNAPPING OF THE FINGERSAND A FIX FOR MARRIAGES
  • 00:05:56.345 --> 00:05:57.747
  • AND A FIX FOR MARRIAGESINSTANTLY.
  • 00:05:57.814 --> 00:05:59.115
  • INSTANTLY.- DR. CHAPMAN: WELL, I'M
  • 00:05:59.182 --> 00:06:00.750
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: WELL, I'MNOT SUGGESTING THAT WE CAN
  • 00:06:00.817 --> 00:06:03.152
  • NOT SUGGESTING THAT WE CANDO THIS IN OUR OWN ENERGY
  • 00:06:03.219 --> 00:06:03.820
  • DO THIS IN OUR OWN ENERGYAND IN OUR OWN POWER.
  • 00:06:03.886 --> 00:06:04.353
  • AND IN OUR OWN POWER.YOU KNOW, THE SCRIPTURES
  • 00:06:04.420 --> 00:06:05.955
  • YOU KNOW, THE SCRIPTURESSAY, "THE LOVE OF GOD IS
  • 00:06:06.022 --> 00:06:07.356
  • SAY, "THE LOVE OF GOD ISPOURED OUT ON OUR HEARTS
  • 00:06:07.423 --> 00:06:09.425
  • POURED OUT ON OUR HEARTSTHROUGH THE HOLY SPIRIT,"
  • 00:06:09.492 --> 00:06:10.426
  • THROUGH THE HOLY SPIRIT,"BUT WE HAVE TO BE
  • 00:06:10.493 --> 00:06:11.561
  • BUT WE HAVE TO BECHANNELS.
  • 00:06:11.627 --> 00:06:12.195
  • CHANNELS.WE HAVE TO BE OPEN TO GOD.
  • 00:06:12.261 --> 00:06:15.465
  • WE HAVE TO BE OPEN TO GOD.AND LET'S FACE IT, WE'RE
  • 00:06:15.531 --> 00:06:16.065
  • AND LET'S FACE IT, WE'REALL SELF-CENTERED.
  • 00:06:16.132 --> 00:06:19.001
  • ALL SELF-CENTERED.EVEN AS CHRISTIANS, WE'RE
  • 00:06:19.068 --> 00:06:19.602
  • EVEN AS CHRISTIANS, WE'RESTILL SELF-CENTERED, AND
  • 00:06:19.669 --> 00:06:20.970
  • STILL SELF-CENTERED, ANDWE'RE THINKING ABOUT OUR
  • 00:06:21.037 --> 00:06:21.904
  • WE'RE THINKING ABOUT OURNEED FOR LOVE.
  • 00:06:21.971 --> 00:06:23.206
  • NEED FOR LOVE.I MEAN, IN FACT, I'VE HAD
  • 00:06:23.272 --> 00:06:25.541
  • I MEAN, IN FACT, I'VE HADPEOPLE SAY TO ME,
  • 00:06:25.608 --> 00:06:25.975
  • PEOPLE SAY TO ME,DR. CHAPMAN, I SPOKE MY
  • 00:06:26.042 --> 00:06:26.509
  • DR. CHAPMAN, I SPOKE MYSPOUSE'S LOVE LANGUAGE FOR
  • 00:06:26.576 --> 00:06:27.143
  • SPOUSE'S LOVE LANGUAGE FORTHREE WEEKS.
  • 00:06:27.210 --> 00:06:27.944
  • THREE WEEKS.IT DIDN'T MAKE ANY
  • 00:06:28.010 --> 00:06:28.411
  • IT DIDN'T MAKE ANYDIFFERENCE--"
  • 00:06:28.478 --> 00:06:29.445
  • DIFFERENCE--"[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:06:29.512 --> 00:06:29.912
  • [LAUGHTER]- DR. CHAPMAN: -- "AND
  • 00:06:29.979 --> 00:06:30.580
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: -- "ANDWHAT'S WRONG, YOU KNOW?"
  • 00:06:30.646 --> 00:06:31.380
  • WHAT'S WRONG, YOU KNOW?"AND I SAID, "SO YOU'RE
  • 00:06:31.447 --> 00:06:32.748
  • AND I SAID, "SO YOU'RETRYING TO MANIPULATE YOUR
  • 00:06:32.815 --> 00:06:33.282
  • TRYING TO MANIPULATE YOURSPOUSE THAT, IF I'LL DO
  • 00:06:33.349 --> 00:06:34.584
  • SPOUSE THAT, IF I'LL DOTHESE THINGS, THEN THEY'LL
  • 00:06:34.650 --> 00:06:35.718
  • THESE THINGS, THEN THEY'LLFEEL LOVED, AND THEY'LL
  • 00:06:35.785 --> 00:06:36.486
  • FEEL LOVED, AND THEY'LLLOVE ME BACK."
  • 00:06:36.552 --> 00:06:38.321
  • LOVE ME BACK."AND NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
  • 00:06:38.387 --> 00:06:40.623
  • AND NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.WE LOVE GOD BECAUSE GOD
  • 00:06:40.690 --> 00:06:41.557
  • WE LOVE GOD BECAUSE GODFIRST LOVED US.
  • 00:06:41.624 --> 00:06:42.725
  • FIRST LOVED US.IN A MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP
  • 00:06:42.792 --> 00:06:44.260
  • IN A MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPOR ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP,
  • 00:06:44.327 --> 00:06:45.661
  • OR ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP,WE HAVE TO TAKE THE
  • 00:06:45.728 --> 00:06:46.796
  • WE HAVE TO TAKE THEINITIATIVE.
  • 00:06:46.863 --> 00:06:48.030
  • INITIATIVE.IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER
  • 00:06:48.097 --> 00:06:50.032
  • IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHERIT'S A HUSBAND OR A WIFE.
  • 00:06:50.099 --> 00:06:50.600
  • IT'S A HUSBAND OR A WIFE.ONE PERSON CAN TAKE THE
  • 00:06:50.666 --> 00:06:51.133
  • ONE PERSON CAN TAKE THEINITIATIVE.
  • 00:06:51.200 --> 00:06:51.534
  • INITIATIVE.IT INFLUENCES THE OTHER
  • 00:06:51.601 --> 00:06:52.435
  • IT INFLUENCES THE OTHERPERSON.
  • 00:06:52.502 --> 00:06:53.336
  • PERSON.LOVE STIMULATES LOVE.
  • 00:06:53.402 --> 00:06:53.836
  • LOVE STIMULATES LOVE.- MATT: GOT IT.
  • 00:06:53.903 --> 00:06:54.737
  • - MATT: GOT IT.- DR. CHAPMAN: SO, YEAH,
  • 00:06:54.804 --> 00:06:55.771
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: SO, YEAH,YOU KNOW, NO QUESTION
  • 00:06:55.838 --> 00:06:56.939
  • YOU KNOW, NO QUESTIONABOUT IT, PEOPLE ASK ME
  • 00:06:57.006 --> 00:06:57.773
  • ABOUT IT, PEOPLE ASK MESOMETIMES, AND I'VE
  • 00:06:57.840 --> 00:06:59.075
  • SOMETIMES, AND I'VESOMETIMES SAID TO SECULAR
  • 00:06:59.141 --> 00:07:00.009
  • SOMETIMES SAID TO SECULARAUDIENCES WHERE I SHARE
  • 00:07:00.076 --> 00:07:01.277
  • AUDIENCES WHERE I SHARETHIS BOOK-- I'VE SHARED
  • 00:07:01.344 --> 00:07:02.512
  • THIS BOOK-- I'VE SHAREDTHIS CONCEPT-- AND I SAY,
  • 00:07:02.578 --> 00:07:03.346
  • THIS CONCEPT-- AND I SAY,"NOW, I'VE GIVEN YOU
  • 00:07:03.412 --> 00:07:04.981
  • "NOW, I'VE GIVEN YOUINFORMATION ON HOW TO
  • 00:07:05.047 --> 00:07:07.416
  • INFORMATION ON HOW TOEFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATE
  • 00:07:07.483 --> 00:07:08.618
  • EFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATELOVE ON AN EMOTIONAL LEVEL
  • 00:07:08.684 --> 00:07:09.952
  • LOVE ON AN EMOTIONAL LEVELSO THAT YOU MEET THIS NEED
  • 00:07:10.019 --> 00:07:10.520
  • SO THAT YOU MEET THIS NEEDFOR LOVE.
  • 00:07:10.586 --> 00:07:11.621
  • FOR LOVE.I CAN'T GIVE YOU
  • 00:07:11.687 --> 00:07:12.121
  • I CAN'T GIVE YOUMOTIVATION.
  • 00:07:12.188 --> 00:07:13.990
  • MOTIVATION.I CAN TELL YOU WHERE I GOT
  • 00:07:14.056 --> 00:07:14.557
  • I CAN TELL YOU WHERE I GOTMY MOTIVATION," AND I
  • 00:07:14.624 --> 00:07:15.725
  • MY MOTIVATION," AND ISHARE MY RELATIONSHIP WITH
  • 00:07:15.791 --> 00:07:17.193
  • SHARE MY RELATIONSHIP WITHGOD BECAUSE IT'S IN MY
  • 00:07:17.260 --> 00:07:19.228
  • GOD BECAUSE IT'S IN MYRELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST
  • 00:07:19.295 --> 00:07:20.830
  • RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRISTTHAT GAVE ME THE DESIRE TO
  • 00:07:20.897 --> 00:07:21.998
  • THAT GAVE ME THE DESIRE TOLOVE MY WIFE, YOU KNOW, IN
  • 00:07:22.064 --> 00:07:23.733
  • LOVE MY WIFE, YOU KNOW, INA WAY THAT'S MEANINGFUL TO
  • 00:07:23.799 --> 00:07:25.334
  • A WAY THAT'S MEANINGFUL TOHER AND NOT TO ASSUME THAT
  • 00:07:25.401 --> 00:07:27.336
  • HER AND NOT TO ASSUME THATI KNOW WHAT MAKES HER FEEL
  • 00:07:27.403 --> 00:07:28.938
  • I KNOW WHAT MAKES HER FEELLOVED BECAUSE WE DON'T.
  • 00:07:29.005 --> 00:07:31.407
  • LOVED BECAUSE WE DON'T.WE'RE INDIVIDUALS MADE IN
  • 00:07:31.474 --> 00:07:31.941
  • WE'RE INDIVIDUALS MADE INTHE IMAGE OF GOD BUT
  • 00:07:32.008 --> 00:07:33.175
  • THE IMAGE OF GOD BUTUNIQUELY MADE, AND SO WHAT
  • 00:07:33.242 --> 00:07:35.244
  • UNIQUELY MADE, AND SO WHATMAKES ME FEEL LOVED, AND I
  • 00:07:35.311 --> 00:07:36.712
  • MAKES ME FEEL LOVED, AND IJUST SIMPLY CHOOSE TO
  • 00:07:36.779 --> 00:07:38.214
  • JUST SIMPLY CHOOSE TOSPEAK THAT WAY TO MY
  • 00:07:38.281 --> 00:07:40.583
  • SPEAK THAT WAY TO MYSPOUSE, THEY WON'T
  • 00:07:40.650 --> 00:07:41.017
  • SPOUSE, THEY WON'TNECESSARILY FEEL LOVED
  • 00:07:41.083 --> 00:07:42.118
  • NECESSARILY FEEL LOVEDBECAUSE THEY'RE DIFFERENT.
  • 00:07:42.184 --> 00:07:44.153
  • BECAUSE THEY'RE DIFFERENT.WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT MAKES
  • 00:07:44.220 --> 00:07:45.121
  • WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT MAKESTHE OTHER PERSON FEEL
  • 00:07:45.187 --> 00:07:45.721
  • THE OTHER PERSON FEELLOVED.
  • 00:07:45.788 --> 00:07:46.389
  • LOVED.- MATT: GO AHEAD, BABE.
  • 00:07:46.455 --> 00:07:46.923
  • - MATT: GO AHEAD, BABE.- LAURIE: IT'S LIKE WE
  • 00:07:46.989 --> 00:07:48.257
  • - LAURIE: IT'S LIKE WEALWAYS HAVE TO DO WHAT WE
  • 00:07:48.324 --> 00:07:49.592
  • ALWAYS HAVE TO DO WHAT WECAN DO NO MATTER WHAT, AS
  • 00:07:49.659 --> 00:07:50.893
  • CAN DO NO MATTER WHAT, ASCHRISTIANS, AND THEN GOD
  • 00:07:50.960 --> 00:07:52.094
  • CHRISTIANS, AND THEN GODDOES WHAT ONLY HE CAN DO.
  • 00:07:52.161 --> 00:07:52.795
  • DOES WHAT ONLY HE CAN DO.- DR. CHAPMAN:
  • 00:07:52.862 --> 00:07:54.530
  • - DR. CHAPMAN:ABSOLUTELY.
  • 00:07:54.597 --> 00:07:54.997
  • ABSOLUTELY.- MATT: OKAY, I WANNA
  • 00:07:55.064 --> 00:07:55.765
  • - MATT: OKAY, I WANNAMAKE SURE I UNDERSTAND THE
  • 00:07:55.831 --> 00:07:57.033
  • MAKE SURE I UNDERSTAND THECONCEPT BEFORE WE BREAK
  • 00:07:57.099 --> 00:08:01.270
  • CONCEPT BEFORE WE BREAKDOWN THIS AND GET INTO
  • 00:08:01.337 --> 00:08:01.771
  • DOWN THIS AND GET INTOTHEM.
  • 00:08:01.837 --> 00:08:02.505
  • THEM.I WANNA MAKE SURE I
  • 00:08:02.572 --> 00:08:03.372
  • I WANNA MAKE SURE IUNDERSTAND, IN ESSENCE,
  • 00:08:03.439 --> 00:08:04.807
  • UNDERSTAND, IN ESSENCE,THE CONCEPT.
  • 00:08:04.874 --> 00:08:08.444
  • THE CONCEPT.YOU WROTE THIS BOOK BASED
  • 00:08:08.511 --> 00:08:09.278
  • YOU WROTE THIS BOOK BASEDUPON YEARS OF NOTES AND
  • 00:08:09.345 --> 00:08:11.147
  • UPON YEARS OF NOTES ANDCOUNSELING PEOPLE AS A
  • 00:08:11.213 --> 00:08:12.181
  • COUNSELING PEOPLE AS ADOCTOR OF--
  • 00:08:12.248 --> 00:08:16.919
  • DOCTOR OF--- DR. CHAPMAN: WELL, MY
  • 00:08:16.986 --> 00:08:17.853
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: WELL, MYDOCTORATE IS ACTUALLY IN
  • 00:08:17.920 --> 00:08:18.387
  • DOCTORATE IS ACTUALLY INADULT EDUCATION, HOW
  • 00:08:18.454 --> 00:08:19.388
  • ADULT EDUCATION, HOWADULTS LEARN, AND I
  • 00:08:19.455 --> 00:08:20.823
  • ADULTS LEARN, AND ILEARNED-- I APPLIED THAT
  • 00:08:20.890 --> 00:08:23.826
  • LEARNED-- I APPLIED THATIN THE COUNSELING SETTING
  • 00:08:23.893 --> 00:08:24.393
  • IN THE COUNSELING SETTINGHOW ADULTS LEARN, SO
  • 00:08:24.460 --> 00:08:27.029
  • HOW ADULTS LEARN, SOTHAT'S MY BACKGROUND.
  • 00:08:27.096 --> 00:08:28.297
  • THAT'S MY BACKGROUND.- MATT: OKAY, SO YOU
  • 00:08:28.364 --> 00:08:29.398
  • - MATT: OKAY, SO YOUWROTE THIS-- BASICALLY,
  • 00:08:29.465 --> 00:08:31.434
  • WROTE THIS-- BASICALLY,DR. GARY CHAPMAN WROTE
  • 00:08:31.500 --> 00:08:33.736
  • DR. GARY CHAPMAN WROTETHIS BOOK BASED UPON THE
  • 00:08:33.803 --> 00:08:35.204
  • THIS BOOK BASED UPON THENOTES THAT YOU WERE TAKING
  • 00:08:35.271 --> 00:08:37.340
  • NOTES THAT YOU WERE TAKINGAS YOU WERE COUNSELING
  • 00:08:37.406 --> 00:08:38.007
  • AS YOU WERE COUNSELINGPEOPLE.
  • 00:08:38.074 --> 00:08:41.644
  • OKAY, THEN THAT KIND OF
  • 00:08:42.878 --> 00:08:45.915
  • OKAY, THEN THAT KIND OFMORPHED INTO IDENTIFYING
  • 00:08:45.982 --> 00:08:48.351
  • MORPHED INTO IDENTIFYINGTHESE FIVE CATEGORIES, AND
  • 00:08:48.417 --> 00:08:50.086
  • THESE FIVE CATEGORIES, ANDTHE FIVE CATEGORIES,
  • 00:08:50.152 --> 00:08:51.253
  • THE FIVE CATEGORIES,I'LL READ THEM OFF THE BACK OF
  • 00:08:51.320 --> 00:08:51.887
  • I'LL READ THEM OFF THE BACK OFTHE BOOK HERE:
  • 00:08:51.954 --> 00:08:53.255
  • THE BOOK HERE:WORDS OF AFFIRMATION,
  • 00:08:53.322 --> 00:08:54.657
  • WORDS OF AFFIRMATION,ACTS OF SERVICE,
  • 00:08:54.724 --> 00:08:55.658
  • ACTS OF SERVICE,RECEIVING GIFTS,
  • 00:08:55.725 --> 00:08:57.593
  • RECEIVING GIFTS,QUALITY TIME,
  • 00:08:57.660 --> 00:08:59.095
  • QUALITY TIME,AND PHYSICAL TOUCH.
  • 00:08:59.161 --> 00:09:00.730
  • AND PHYSICAL TOUCH.SO EVERYBODY HAS A PRIMARY--
  • 00:09:00.796 --> 00:09:02.632
  • SO EVERYBODY HAS A PRIMARY--OR I THINK THE BOOK
  • 00:09:02.698 --> 00:09:05.301
  • OR I THINK THE BOOKEVEN SUGGESTS YOU
  • 00:09:05.368 --> 00:09:08.170
  • EVEN SUGGESTS YOUCOULD HAVE KIND OF A
  • 00:09:08.237 --> 00:09:09.438
  • COULD HAVE KIND OF ACO-PRIMARY IN SOME
  • 00:09:09.505 --> 00:09:11.474
  • CO-PRIMARY IN SOMECIRCUMSTANCES,
  • 00:09:11.540 --> 00:09:12.475
  • CIRCUMSTANCES,BUT BASICALLY A PRIMARY LOVE
  • 00:09:12.541 --> 00:09:15.978
  • BUT BASICALLY A PRIMARY LOVELANGUAGE, AND SO YOU COULD
  • 00:09:16.045 --> 00:09:19.081
  • LANGUAGE, AND SO YOU COULDBE DOING ALL SORTS OF ACTS
  • 00:09:19.148 --> 00:09:20.516
  • BE DOING ALL SORTS OF ACTSOF SERVICE FOR YOUR SPOUSE,
  • 00:09:20.583 --> 00:09:22.918
  • BUT IF HER LOVE LANGUAGE
  • 00:09:24.387 --> 00:09:26.288
  • BUT IF HER LOVE LANGUAGEIS QUALITY TIME, YOU'RE
  • 00:09:26.355 --> 00:09:27.823
  • IS QUALITY TIME, YOU'REACTUALLY NOT HELPING THE
  • 00:09:27.890 --> 00:09:28.691
  • ACTUALLY NOT HELPING THESITUATION.
  • 00:09:28.758 --> 00:09:29.225
  • SITUATION.YOU'RE ALMOST MAKING IT
  • 00:09:29.291 --> 00:09:29.792
  • YOU'RE ALMOST MAKING ITWORSE.
  • 00:09:29.859 --> 00:09:30.860
  • WORSE.- DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,
  • 00:09:30.926 --> 00:09:32.261
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,YOU'RE SINCERE.
  • 00:09:32.328 --> 00:09:33.763
  • YOU'RE SINCERE.YOU'RE SINCERE, BUT YOU'RE
  • 00:09:33.829 --> 00:09:34.664
  • YOU'RE SINCERE, BUT YOU'REMISSING THE MARK WHICH IS
  • 00:09:34.730 --> 00:09:35.765
  • MISSING THE MARK WHICH ISTO MEET THAT NEED FOR LOVE
  • 00:09:35.831 --> 00:09:36.632
  • TO MEET THAT NEED FOR LOVEBECAUSE, IF YOU FEEL LOVED
  • 00:09:36.699 --> 00:09:37.833
  • BECAUSE, IF YOU FEEL LOVEDIN A MARRIAGE
  • 00:09:37.900 --> 00:09:39.335
  • IN A MARRIAGERELATIONSHIP, EVERYTHING
  • 00:09:39.402 --> 00:09:40.002
  • RELATIONSHIP, EVERYTHINGELSE IS EASIER TO PROCESS.
  • 00:09:40.069 --> 00:09:41.470
  • ELSE IS EASIER TO PROCESS.LISTEN, ALL OF US FACE
  • 00:09:41.537 --> 00:09:43.506
  • LISTEN, ALL OF US FACEDIFFERENCES AND CONFLICTS
  • 00:09:43.572 --> 00:09:44.807
  • DIFFERENCES AND CONFLICTSAND STRUGGLES AND GRIEF
  • 00:09:44.874 --> 00:09:45.474
  • AND STRUGGLES AND GRIEFAND ALL KIND OF THINGS IN
  • 00:09:45.541 --> 00:09:46.142
  • AND ALL KIND OF THINGS INLIFE.
  • 00:09:46.208 --> 00:09:47.410
  • LIFE.ALL OF THAT'S EASIER TO
  • 00:09:47.476 --> 00:09:48.678
  • ALL OF THAT'S EASIER TOPROCESS IF YOU FEEL SECURE
  • 00:09:48.744 --> 00:09:49.478
  • PROCESS IF YOU FEEL SECUREIN THE LOVE OF YOUR
  • 00:09:49.545 --> 00:09:50.746
  • IN THE LOVE OF YOURSPOUSE.
  • 00:09:50.813 --> 00:09:52.481
  • SPOUSE.- MATT: SO I HAVE A
  • 00:09:52.548 --> 00:09:53.349
  • - MATT: SO I HAVE A"LOVE TANK."
  • 00:09:53.416 --> 00:09:55.851
  • "LOVE TANK."I'M USING YOUR TERMINOLOGY.
  • 00:09:55.918 --> 00:09:57.420
  • I'M USING YOUR TERMINOLOGY.LAURIE HAS A LOVE TANK,
  • 00:09:57.486 --> 00:09:58.554
  • LAURIE HAS A LOVE TANK,AND BY IDENTIFYING HER
  • 00:09:58.621 --> 00:10:01.457
  • AND BY IDENTIFYING HERPRIMARY LOVE LANGUAGE AND
  • 00:10:01.524 --> 00:10:04.593
  • PRIMARY LOVE LANGUAGE ANDTHEN DOING THAT, I AM, IN
  • 00:10:04.660 --> 00:10:05.161
  • THEN DOING THAT, I AM, INESSENCE, PUTTING GAS IN
  • 00:10:05.227 --> 00:10:07.096
  • ESSENCE, PUTTING GAS INTHE TANK, AS IT WERE,
  • 00:10:07.163 --> 00:10:08.264
  • THE TANK, AS IT WERE,OKAY?
  • 00:10:08.330 --> 00:10:10.032
  • OKAY?- LAURIE: PUTTING MONEY
  • 00:10:10.099 --> 00:10:10.900
  • - LAURIE: PUTTING MONEYIN THE BANK.
  • 00:10:10.966 --> 00:10:12.635
  • IN THE BANK.- MATT: "PUTTING MONEY IN
  • 00:10:12.702 --> 00:10:13.769
  • - MATT: "PUTTING MONEY INTHE BANK--"
  • 00:10:13.836 --> 00:10:14.603
  • THE BANK--"[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:10:14.670 --> 00:10:15.104
  • [LAUGHTER]-- THAT I CAN WITHDRAW
  • 00:10:15.171 --> 00:10:15.938
  • -- THAT I CAN WITHDRAWWHENEVER I WANT.
  • 00:10:16.005 --> 00:10:16.472
  • WHENEVER I WANT.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:10:16.539 --> 00:10:16.906
  • [LAUGHTER]- LAURIE: OH, HERE WE GO.
  • 00:10:16.972 --> 00:10:18.541
  • - LAURIE: OH, HERE WE GO.WE COULD DEAL WITH THAT PART.
  • 00:10:18.607 --> 00:10:19.175
  • WE COULD DEAL WITH THAT PART.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:10:19.241 --> 00:10:20.843
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: BASICALLY, THAT'S
  • 00:10:20.910 --> 00:10:22.178
  • - MATT: BASICALLY, THAT'STHE SUBJECT MATTER IN
  • 00:10:22.244 --> 00:10:23.212
  • THE SUBJECT MATTER INWHICH WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
  • 00:10:23.279 --> 00:10:23.746
  • WHICH WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.THIS BOOK IS BASICALLY--
  • 00:10:23.813 --> 00:10:27.516
  • THIS BOOK IS BASICALLY--I, AT LEAST, HAVE THE
  • 00:10:27.583 --> 00:10:28.084
  • I, AT LEAST, HAVE THECONCEPT DOWN.
  • 00:10:28.150 --> 00:10:28.884
  • CONCEPT DOWN.- DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH, THAT
  • 00:10:28.951 --> 00:10:29.418
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH, THATIS THE BASIC CONCEPT TO
  • 00:10:29.485 --> 00:10:29.919
  • IS THE BASIC CONCEPT TOTHE BOOK.
  • 00:10:29.985 --> 00:10:30.886
  • THE BOOK.- MATT: ALL RIGHT, SO ON
  • 00:10:30.953 --> 00:10:33.022
  • - MATT: ALL RIGHT, SO ONTHE WAY DOWN HERE, WE WERE
  • 00:10:33.089 --> 00:10:34.557
  • THE WAY DOWN HERE, WE WEREKIND OF DESCRIBING THE
  • 00:10:34.623 --> 00:10:36.258
  • KIND OF DESCRIBING THEBOOK AS WE KNEW IT, AND
  • 00:10:36.325 --> 00:10:38.561
  • BOOK AS WE KNEW IT, ANDI'M SITTING HERE WITH THE
  • 00:10:38.627 --> 00:10:41.230
  • I'M SITTING HERE WITH THEMAN HIMSELF, AND I
  • 00:10:41.297 --> 00:10:42.264
  • MAN HIMSELF, AND IAPPARENTLY GET THE CONCEPT
  • 00:10:42.331 --> 00:10:44.133
  • APPARENTLY GET THE CONCEPTOF THE BOOK, AND SO I WAS
  • 00:10:44.200 --> 00:10:45.935
  • OF THE BOOK, AND SO I WASTRYING TO EXPLAIN IT.
  • 00:10:46.001 --> 00:10:47.269
  • TRYING TO EXPLAIN IT.SO LAURIE CHIMES IN, IN
  • 00:10:47.336 --> 00:10:48.771
  • SO LAURIE CHIMES IN, INTHE BACKSEAT--
  • 00:10:48.838 --> 00:10:50.606
  • THE BACKSEAT--- LAURIE: TO MY AUNT AND UNCLE,
  • 00:10:50.673 --> 00:10:51.373
  • - LAURIE: TO MY AUNT AND UNCLE,WHO WERE IN THE CAR,
  • 00:10:51.440 --> 00:10:52.108
  • WHO WERE IN THE CAR,SO WE WERE ALL TALKIN'
  • 00:10:52.174 --> 00:10:52.608
  • SO WE WERE ALL TALKIN'ABOUT IT.
  • 00:10:52.675 --> 00:10:53.709
  • ABOUT IT.- MATT: SO SHE CHIMES IN,
  • 00:10:53.776 --> 00:10:54.243
  • - MATT: SO SHE CHIMES IN,IN THE BACKSEAT.
  • 00:10:54.310 --> 00:10:55.211
  • IN THE BACKSEAT.I'M DRIVING, AND SHE SAYS
  • 00:10:55.277 --> 00:10:56.612
  • I'M DRIVING, AND SHE SAYSSOMETHING ABOUT THE BOOK
  • 00:10:56.679 --> 00:10:57.780
  • SOMETHING ABOUT THE BOOKBY SAYING SOMETHING LIKE,
  • 00:10:57.847 --> 00:11:01.517
  • BY SAYING SOMETHING LIKE,"I WOULD ASSUME FOR,
  • 00:11:01.584 --> 00:11:04.453
  • "I WOULD ASSUME FOR,THE FIRST 35 YEARS OF
  • 00:11:04.520 --> 00:11:05.988
  • THE FIRST 35 YEARS OFOUR MARRIAGE--"
  • 00:11:06.055 --> 00:11:06.856
  • OUR MARRIAGE--"I'M TELLING THE STORY.
  • 00:11:06.922 --> 00:11:08.157
  • I'M TELLING THE STORY.- LAURIE: CAN I TELL IT
  • 00:11:08.224 --> 00:11:08.691
  • - LAURIE: CAN I TELL ITLIKE I SAID IT?
  • 00:11:08.758 --> 00:11:09.859
  • LIKE I SAID IT?'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA
  • 00:11:09.925 --> 00:11:10.326
  • 'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNAEMBELLISH IT.
  • 00:11:10.392 --> 00:11:10.993
  • EMBELLISH IT.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:11:11.060 --> 00:11:11.627
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: YOU CAN TELL YOUR
  • 00:11:11.694 --> 00:11:13.562
  • - MATT: YOU CAN TELL YOURSIDE OF THE STORY.
  • 00:11:13.629 --> 00:11:14.096
  • SIDE OF THE STORY.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:11:14.163 --> 00:11:14.563
  • [LAUGHTER]I'M GONNA TELL MY SIDE OF
  • 00:11:14.630 --> 00:11:15.564
  • I'M GONNA TELL MY SIDE OFTHE STORY, OKAY?
  • 00:11:15.631 --> 00:11:17.233
  • THE STORY, OKAY?- LAURIE: OH, MY GOD--
  • 00:11:17.299 --> 00:11:17.800
  • - LAURIE: OH, MY GOD--AND THE WAY HE TOOK IT.
  • 00:11:17.867 --> 00:11:19.602
  • AND THE WAY HE TOOK IT.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:11:19.668 --> 00:11:20.302
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: SO, BASICALLY, SO
  • 00:11:20.369 --> 00:11:22.538
  • - MATT: SO, BASICALLY, SOSHE SAYS, "I WOULD'VE
  • 00:11:22.605 --> 00:11:23.672
  • SHE SAYS, "I WOULD'VEASSUMED FOR THE FIRST--"
  • 00:11:23.739 --> 00:11:25.608
  • ASSUMED FOR THE FIRST--"- LAURIE: I DIDN'T SAY
  • 00:11:25.674 --> 00:11:26.108
  • - LAURIE: I DIDN'T SAYTHAT PART AT ALL.
  • 00:11:26.175 --> 00:11:27.042
  • THAT PART AT ALL.- MATT: OKAY.
  • 00:11:27.109 --> 00:11:27.743
  • - MATT: OKAY.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:11:27.810 --> 00:11:28.310
  • [LAUGHTER]- LAURIE: I SAID, "IT
  • 00:11:28.377 --> 00:11:28.878
  • - LAURIE: I SAID, "ITWOULD BE LIKE--"
  • 00:11:28.944 --> 00:11:29.879
  • WOULD BE LIKE--"- MATT: I'M READING BETWEEN
  • 00:11:29.945 --> 00:11:30.479
  • - MATT: I'M READING BETWEENTHE LINES.
  • 00:11:30.546 --> 00:11:30.980
  • THE LINES.YOU'VE MEANT IT.
  • 00:11:31.046 --> 00:11:31.514
  • YOU'VE MEANT IT.IF YOU DIDN'T SAY IT, YOU
  • 00:11:31.580 --> 00:11:32.281
  • IF YOU DIDN'T SAY IT, YOUMEANT IT.
  • 00:11:32.348 --> 00:11:32.748
  • MEANT IT.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:11:32.815 --> 00:11:33.215
  • [LAUGHTER]- DR. CHAPMAN: LET ME
  • 00:11:33.282 --> 00:11:33.749
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: LET MESUGGEST YOU LET HER TELL
  • 00:11:33.816 --> 00:11:35.551
  • SUGGEST YOU LET HER TELLTHE STORY.
  • 00:11:35.618 --> 00:11:35.985
  • THE STORY.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:11:36.051 --> 00:11:36.485
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: CRAP.
  • 00:11:36.552 --> 00:11:37.019
  • - MATT: CRAP.THE DOCTOR JUST TOLD ME TO
  • 00:11:37.086 --> 00:11:37.586
  • THE DOCTOR JUST TOLD ME TOSHUT UP.
  • 00:11:37.653 --> 00:11:38.220
  • SHUT UP.I LOVE IT.
  • 00:11:38.287 --> 00:11:38.721
  • I LOVE IT.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:11:38.788 --> 00:11:41.490
  • [LAUGHTER]OKAY, I'LL--
  • 00:11:41.557 --> 00:11:42.525
  • OKAY, I'LL--- LAURIE: OKAY, LET ME
  • 00:11:42.591 --> 00:11:43.058
  • - LAURIE: OKAY, LET MEJUST TELL IT THE WAY
  • 00:11:43.125 --> 00:11:44.660
  • JUST TELL IT THE WAYI TOLD IT 'CAUSE
  • 00:11:44.727 --> 00:11:45.761
  • I TOLD IT 'CAUSETHEN HE JUST MADE IT
  • 00:11:45.828 --> 00:11:46.896
  • THEN HE JUST MADE ITFUNNY, AND THAT'S ONE OF
  • 00:11:46.962 --> 00:11:48.898
  • FUNNY, AND THAT'S ONE OFTHE THINGS THAT I LOVE
  • 00:11:48.964 --> 00:11:50.132
  • THE THINGS THAT I LOVEABOUT HIM IS THAT HE MAKES
  • 00:11:50.199 --> 00:11:50.699
  • ABOUT HIM IS THAT HE MAKESME LAUGH.
  • 00:11:50.766 --> 00:11:52.034
  • ME LAUGH.HE WANTS TO MAKE ME LAUGH
  • 00:11:52.101 --> 00:11:53.135
  • HE WANTS TO MAKE ME LAUGHTO GET OUT OF TROUBLE IF
  • 00:11:53.202 --> 00:11:54.436
  • TO GET OUT OF TROUBLE IFHE'S DONE SOMETHING
  • 00:11:54.503 --> 00:11:54.870
  • HE'S DONE SOMETHINGSTUPID.
  • 00:11:54.937 --> 00:11:56.238
  • STUPID.- MATT: I'VE NEVER BEEN
  • 00:11:56.305 --> 00:11:57.206
  • - MATT: I'VE NEVER BEENIN TROUBLE.
  • 00:11:57.273 --> 00:11:57.706
  • IN TROUBLE.- LAURIE: HE TRIES TO
  • 00:11:57.773 --> 00:11:59.708
  • - LAURIE: HE TRIES TOMAKE ME LAUGH, AND IT
  • 00:11:59.775 --> 00:12:00.509
  • MAKE ME LAUGH, AND ITNORMALLY ALWAYS WORKS, SO
  • 00:12:00.576 --> 00:12:01.043
  • NORMALLY ALWAYS WORKS, SOI DO LOVE THAT.
  • 00:12:01.110 --> 00:12:02.912
  • I DO LOVE THAT.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:12:02.978 --> 00:12:03.579
  • [LAUGHTER]BUT I WAS SAYING, SO, IF
  • 00:12:03.646 --> 00:12:04.280
  • BUT I WAS SAYING, SO, IFMATT'S LOVE LANGUAGE WAS
  • 00:12:04.346 --> 00:12:06.215
  • MATT'S LOVE LANGUAGE WASQUALITY TIME, I WOULD KIND
  • 00:12:06.282 --> 00:12:11.120
  • QUALITY TIME, I WOULD KINDOF ASSUME WE ARE TOGETHER
  • 00:12:11.187 --> 00:12:13.022
  • OF ASSUME WE ARE TOGETHERPRETTY MUCH 24/7, EVERY
  • 00:12:13.088 --> 00:12:17.326
  • PRETTY MUCH 24/7, EVERYSINGLE DAY--
  • 00:12:17.393 --> 00:12:19.261
  • SINGLE DAY--- MATT: EXCEPT FOR THE
  • 00:12:19.328 --> 00:12:19.829
  • - MATT: EXCEPT FOR THEREST OF THIS INTERVIEW.
  • 00:12:19.895 --> 00:12:20.396
  • REST OF THIS INTERVIEW.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:12:20.462 --> 00:12:20.830
  • [LAUGHTER]- LAURIE: -- "EXCEPT
  • 00:12:20.896 --> 00:12:21.297
  • - LAURIE: -- "EXCEPTAFTER THIS INTERVIEW."
  • 00:12:21.363 --> 00:12:22.832
  • AFTER THIS INTERVIEW."I MIGHT HAVE TO HAVE A BREAK.
  • 00:12:22.898 --> 00:12:23.432
  • I MIGHT HAVE TO HAVE A BREAK.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:12:23.499 --> 00:12:24.633
  • [LAUGHTER]YOU GO HOME.
  • 00:12:24.700 --> 00:12:25.401
  • YOU GO HOME.I'M GOIN' HOME WITH YOU.
  • 00:12:25.467 --> 00:12:26.435
  • I'M GOIN' HOME WITH YOU.SO, BUT, SO--
  • 00:12:26.502 --> 00:12:29.538
  • SO, BUT, SO--- MATT: IS IT HOT IN HERE
  • 00:12:29.605 --> 00:12:30.806
  • - MATT: IS IT HOT IN HEREALL OF A SUDDEN?
  • 00:12:30.873 --> 00:12:32.007
  • ALL OF A SUDDEN?[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:12:32.074 --> 00:12:32.575
  • [LAUGHTER]SEEMS LIKE IT'S HOT IN
  • 00:12:32.641 --> 00:12:33.275
  • SEEMS LIKE IT'S HOT INHERE ALL OF A SUDDEN, GOLLY.
  • 00:12:33.342 --> 00:12:34.510
  • HERE ALL OF A SUDDEN, GOLLY.- LAURIE: I'M ALL GOOD.
  • 00:12:34.577 --> 00:12:35.110
  • - LAURIE: I'M ALL GOOD.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:12:35.177 --> 00:12:35.678
  • [LAUGHTER]SINCE I'M TELLIN' THE
  • 00:12:35.744 --> 00:12:36.679
  • SINCE I'M TELLIN' THESTORY, I'M FINE.
  • 00:12:36.745 --> 00:12:39.081
  • STORY, I'M FINE.SO I SAID, "SO, WHEN HE
  • 00:12:39.148 --> 00:12:42.551
  • SO I SAID, "SO, WHEN HEGOES AND DOES SOMETHING
  • 00:12:42.618 --> 00:12:44.053
  • GOES AND DOES SOMETHINGWITH THE GUYS--"
  • 00:12:44.119 --> 00:12:44.653
  • WITH THE GUYS--"BECAUSE I DO LIVE A VERY
  • 00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:46.355
  • BECAUSE I DO LIVE A VERY"GUY LIFE."
  • 00:12:46.422 --> 00:12:46.922
  • "GUY LIFE."WE'VE GOT TWO SONS.
  • 00:12:46.989 --> 00:12:48.157
  • WE'VE GOT TWO SONS.I'M AROUND GUYS A LOT.
  • 00:12:48.224 --> 00:12:49.925
  • I'M AROUND GUYS A LOT.MOST OF THE TIME WE TRAVEL--
  • 00:12:49.992 --> 00:12:50.860
  • MOST OF THE TIME WE TRAVEL--GUYS.
  • 00:12:50.926 --> 00:12:52.294
  • GUYS.SO, SINCE WE ARE TOGETHER
  • 00:12:52.361 --> 00:12:56.599
  • SO, SINCE WE ARE TOGETHERSO MUCH, I WOULD THINK HE
  • 00:12:56.665 --> 00:12:58.934
  • SO MUCH, I WOULD THINK HEPROBABLY NEEDS A BREAK
  • 00:12:59.001 --> 00:12:59.435
  • PROBABLY NEEDS A BREAKFROM ME.
  • 00:12:59.501 --> 00:13:01.737
  • FROM ME."GO DO YOUR THING WITH TOM
  • 00:13:01.804 --> 00:13:03.439
  • "GO DO YOUR THING WITH TOMOR CAYLAN OR WHOEVER, AND
  • 00:13:03.505 --> 00:13:07.209
  • OR CAYLAN OR WHOEVER, ANDTHAT WOULD BE-- SO, BUT IF
  • 00:13:07.276 --> 00:13:09.979
  • THAT WOULD BE-- SO, BUT IFQUALITY TIME WAS HIS LOVE
  • 00:13:10.045 --> 00:13:11.113
  • QUALITY TIME WAS HIS LOVELANGUAGE, HE PROBABLY
  • 00:13:11.180 --> 00:13:12.481
  • LANGUAGE, HE PROBABLYWOULD LIKE ME TO GO ON
  • 00:13:12.548 --> 00:13:14.884
  • WOULD LIKE ME TO GO ONTHOSE FUN THINGS WITH HIM.
  • 00:13:14.950 --> 00:13:17.453
  • THOSE FUN THINGS WITH HIM.- DR. CHAPMAN: OKAY.
  • 00:13:17.519 --> 00:13:17.920
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: OKAY.- MATT: RIGHT, BUT WHAT
  • 00:13:17.987 --> 00:13:18.454
  • - MATT: RIGHT, BUT WHATSHE'S SAYING IS--
  • 00:13:18.520 --> 00:13:18.888
  • SHE'S SAYING IS--- LAURIE: DOES THAT MAKE--
  • 00:13:18.954 --> 00:13:19.688
  • - LAURIE: DOES THAT MAKE--- MATT: SHE WAS
  • 00:13:19.755 --> 00:13:20.122
  • - MATT: SHE WASEXPLAINING--
  • 00:13:20.189 --> 00:13:20.556
  • EXPLAINING--- LAURIE: "WHAT SHE'S SAYING--"
  • 00:13:20.623 --> 00:13:21.223
  • - LAURIE: "WHAT SHE'S SAYING--"- MATT: I'M GONNA
  • 00:13:21.290 --> 00:13:21.657
  • - MATT: I'M GONNA"MAN-SPLAIN" THIS FOR THIS--
  • 00:13:21.724 --> 00:13:22.625
  • "MAN-SPLAIN" THIS FOR THIS--[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:13:22.691 --> 00:13:23.325
  • [LAUGHTER]- LAURIE: OH, YOU BETTER
  • 00:13:23.392 --> 00:13:24.226
  • - LAURIE: OH, YOU BETTERWATCH IT.
  • 00:13:24.293 --> 00:13:24.727
  • WATCH IT.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:13:24.793 --> 00:13:25.194
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: WHAT SHE
  • 00:13:25.261 --> 00:13:26.462
  • - MATT: WHAT SHESUGGESTED WAS THAT--
  • 00:13:26.528 --> 00:13:27.897
  • SUGGESTED WAS THAT--SHE WAS SUGGESTING THAT MY
  • 00:13:27.963 --> 00:13:30.299
  • SHE WAS SUGGESTING THAT MYLOVE LANGUAGE MIGHT HAVE
  • 00:13:30.366 --> 00:13:34.103
  • LOVE LANGUAGE MIGHT HAVEMORPHED FROM PHYSICAL
  • 00:13:34.169 --> 00:13:35.504
  • MORPHED FROM PHYSICALTOUCH TO QUALITY TIME,
  • 00:13:35.571 --> 00:13:39.375
  • TOUCH TO QUALITY TIME,AND SHE WAS SOMEWHAT
  • 00:13:39.441 --> 00:13:39.942
  • AND SHE WAS SOMEWHATJUSTIFYING THE FACT THAT
  • 00:13:40.009 --> 00:13:41.543
  • JUSTIFYING THE FACT THATWE WORK TOGETHER AND
  • 00:13:41.610 --> 00:13:43.112
  • WE WORK TOGETHER ANDTRAVEL TOGETHER AND THAT
  • 00:13:43.178 --> 00:13:46.148
  • TRAVEL TOGETHER AND THATWE'RE RARELY EVER APART AS
  • 00:13:46.215 --> 00:13:48.751
  • WE'RE RARELY EVER APART ASQUALITY TIME, AND I SAID,
  • 00:13:48.817 --> 00:13:50.085
  • QUALITY TIME, AND I SAID,FROM THE FRONT SEAT,
  • 00:13:50.152 --> 00:13:51.921
  • FROM THE FRONT SEAT,"WORKING TOGETHER ISN'T
  • 00:13:51.987 --> 00:13:53.188
  • "WORKING TOGETHER ISN'TREALLY QUALITY TIME.
  • 00:13:53.255 --> 00:13:57.826
  • REALLY QUALITY TIME.PHYSICAL PROXIMITY ISN'T
  • 00:13:57.893 --> 00:13:58.994
  • PHYSICAL PROXIMITY ISN'TNECESSARILY QUALITY TIME,"
  • 00:13:59.061 --> 00:14:00.596
  • NECESSARILY QUALITY TIME,"OKAY?
  • 00:14:00.663 --> 00:14:01.897
  • OKAY?AND SO WE FOUND THAT, FROM
  • 00:14:01.964 --> 00:14:05.134
  • AND SO WE FOUND THAT, FROMTHE BACKSEAT TO THE FRONT
  • 00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:06.468
  • THE BACKSEAT TO THE FRONTSEAT, EXPLAINING YOUR BOOK
  • 00:14:06.535 --> 00:14:07.970
  • SEAT, EXPLAINING YOUR BOOKON THE WAY DOWN HERE, THAT
  • 00:14:08.037 --> 00:14:08.837
  • ON THE WAY DOWN HERE, THATWE WERE TAPPING INTO
  • 00:14:08.904 --> 00:14:09.939
  • WE WERE TAPPING INTOSOMETHING THAT MIGHT BE
  • 00:14:10.005 --> 00:14:11.373
  • SOMETHING THAT MIGHT BERELEVANT TO LITERALLY OUR
  • 00:14:11.440 --> 00:14:14.243
  • RELEVANT TO LITERALLY OURRELATIONSHIP WHICH IS--
  • 00:14:14.310 --> 00:14:15.444
  • RELATIONSHIP WHICH IS--- LAURIE: YEAH?
  • 00:14:15.511 --> 00:14:16.612
  • - LAURIE: YEAH?- MATT: -- WHICH IS--
  • 00:14:16.679 --> 00:14:17.379
  • - MATT: -- WHICH IS--OKAY?
  • 00:14:17.446 --> 00:14:18.547
  • OKAY?- LAURIE: IS IT QUALITY TIME?
  • 00:14:18.614 --> 00:14:19.281
  • - LAURIE: IS IT QUALITY TIME?[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:14:19.348 --> 00:14:22.117
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: IF YOU'RE SITTING
  • 00:14:22.184 --> 00:14:22.718
  • - MATT: IF YOU'RE SITTINGTOGETHER ON AN AIRPLANE--
  • 00:14:22.785 --> 00:14:23.352
  • TOGETHER ON AN AIRPLANE--- LAURIE: I KNEW IT.
  • 00:14:23.419 --> 00:14:24.954
  • - LAURIE: I KNEW IT.- MATT: -- OR ON AN
  • 00:14:25.020 --> 00:14:25.688
  • - MATT: -- OR ON ANINTERVIEW, THAT ISN'T
  • 00:14:25.754 --> 00:14:26.822
  • INTERVIEW, THAT ISN'TNECESSARILY QUALITY TIME
  • 00:14:26.889 --> 00:14:27.790
  • NECESSARILY QUALITY TIMEIF SOMEBODY--
  • 00:14:27.856 --> 00:14:30.793
  • IF SOMEBODY--- LAURIE: I THINK WE'RE
  • 00:14:30.859 --> 00:14:31.327
  • - LAURIE: I THINK WE'REHAVING AMAZING QUALITY
  • 00:14:31.393 --> 00:14:31.827
  • HAVING AMAZING QUALITYTIME RIGHT NOW.
  • 00:14:31.894 --> 00:14:32.261
  • TIME RIGHT NOW.- MATT: -- IF SOMEBODY
  • 00:14:32.328 --> 00:14:33.495
  • - MATT: -- IF SOMEBODYHAS A PHONE IN THEIR HAND,
  • 00:14:33.562 --> 00:14:34.530
  • HAS A PHONE IN THEIR HAND,THAT'S NOT QUALITY TIME,
  • 00:14:34.596 --> 00:14:35.064
  • THAT'S NOT QUALITY TIME,OKAY?
  • 00:14:35.130 --> 00:14:36.098
  • OKAY?SO IF YOU'RE SITTING--
  • 00:14:36.165 --> 00:14:37.399
  • SO IF YOU'RE SITTING--- LAURIE: YOU NEED TO
  • 00:14:37.466 --> 00:14:38.500
  • - LAURIE: YOU NEED TOREMEMBER THAT.
  • 00:14:38.567 --> 00:14:39.068
  • REMEMBER THAT.- MATT: -- YOU KNOW, IF
  • 00:14:39.134 --> 00:14:40.169
  • - MATT: -- YOU KNOW, IFYOU'RE SITTING THERE--
  • 00:14:40.235 --> 00:14:41.737
  • YOU'RE SITTING THERE--SO WE KIND OF GOT A LESSON IN
  • 00:14:41.804 --> 00:14:43.706
  • SO WE KIND OF GOT A LESSON INTHIS, NOT THAT WE'RE
  • 00:14:43.772 --> 00:14:44.640
  • THIS, NOT THAT WE'REASKING YOU TO PICK A SIDE
  • 00:14:44.707 --> 00:14:49.044
  • ASKING YOU TO PICK A SIDEHERE OR SORT SOMETHIN' OUT--
  • 00:14:49.111 --> 00:14:49.611
  • - LAURIE: OF COURSE NOT.
  • 00:14:50.379 --> 00:14:51.046
  • - LAURIE: OF COURSE NOT.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:14:51.113 --> 00:14:51.814
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: -- BUT WHAT WE'RE
  • 00:14:51.880 --> 00:14:52.381
  • - MATT: -- BUT WHAT WE'REDOING IS WE'RE DRILLING
  • 00:14:52.448 --> 00:14:54.683
  • DOING IS WE'RE DRILLINGDOWN THAT THERE COULD HAVE
  • 00:14:54.750 --> 00:14:56.251
  • DOWN THAT THERE COULD HAVEBEEN, IN THE ATTEMPT TO
  • 00:14:56.318 --> 00:14:57.519
  • BEEN, IN THE ATTEMPT TOEXPLAIN THIS CONCEPT OF
  • 00:14:57.586 --> 00:14:59.822
  • EXPLAIN THIS CONCEPT OFTHIS BOOK, WE FOUND
  • 00:14:59.888 --> 00:15:01.256
  • THIS BOOK, WE FOUNDSOMETHING THAT WAS, ALL OF
  • 00:15:01.323 --> 00:15:03.158
  • SOMETHING THAT WAS, ALL OFA SUDDEN, BECOMING
  • 00:15:03.225 --> 00:15:04.460
  • A SUDDEN, BECOMINGPOIGNANT IN THE CAR, OKAY?
  • 00:15:04.526 --> 00:15:05.294
  • POIGNANT IN THE CAR, OKAY?- DR. CHAPMAN: YUP.
  • 00:15:05.361 --> 00:15:06.428
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: YUP.- MATT: WITH THAT SAID,
  • 00:15:06.495 --> 00:15:07.096
  • - MATT: WITH THAT SAID,WHY DON'T WE START NOW
  • 00:15:07.162 --> 00:15:08.697
  • WHY DON'T WE START NOWBECAUSE THIS IS JUST AN
  • 00:15:08.764 --> 00:15:10.466
  • BECAUSE THIS IS JUST ANEXAMPLE OF A MILLION OF
  • 00:15:10.532 --> 00:15:12.101
  • EXAMPLE OF A MILLION OFEXAMPLES OF COUPLES THAT
  • 00:15:12.167 --> 00:15:14.203
  • EXAMPLES OF COUPLES THATARE SITTING RIGHT NOW ON
  • 00:15:14.269 --> 00:15:16.171
  • ARE SITTING RIGHT NOW ONTHE COUCH, GETTING ELBOWED
  • 00:15:16.238 --> 00:15:17.773
  • THE COUCH, GETTING ELBOWEDAND THAT KIND OF STUFF.
  • 00:15:17.840 --> 00:15:18.507
  • - LAURIE: KICKIN' EACH
  • 00:15:19.375 --> 00:15:20.175
  • - LAURIE: KICKIN' EACHOTHER, THROWIN' BOOKS.
  • 00:15:20.242 --> 00:15:21.010
  • OTHER, THROWIN' BOOKS.- MATT: AND THERE IS A
  • 00:15:21.076 --> 00:15:23.746
  • - MATT: AND THERE IS ASUPER-SERIOUS SIDE OF WHAT
  • 00:15:23.812 --> 00:15:24.446
  • SUPER-SERIOUS SIDE OF WHATWE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
  • 00:15:24.513 --> 00:15:25.881
  • WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.WHY DON'T YOU NOW JUST
  • 00:15:25.948 --> 00:15:26.415
  • WHY DON'T YOU NOW JUSTTAKE IT ONE BY ONE, BREAK
  • 00:15:26.482 --> 00:15:28.784
  • TAKE IT ONE BY ONE, BREAK'EM DOWN THE WAY YOU WANT
  • 00:15:28.851 --> 00:15:30.319
  • 'EM DOWN THE WAY YOU WANTUS TO HEAR ABOUT IT, AND
  • 00:15:30.386 --> 00:15:32.154
  • US TO HEAR ABOUT IT, ANDLET'S GET DEEPER INTO
  • 00:15:32.221 --> 00:15:33.856
  • LET'S GET DEEPER INTO"THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES."
  • 00:15:33.922 --> 00:15:36.759
  • "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES."- DR. CHAPMAN: OKAY, THERE'S
  • 00:15:36.825 --> 00:15:37.393
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: OKAY, THERE'SNO PARTICULAR ORDER IN THE
  • 00:15:37.459 --> 00:15:37.960
  • NO PARTICULAR ORDER IN THEFIVE, OKAY?
  • 00:15:38.027 --> 00:15:38.293
  • FIVE, OKAY?ONE IS NOT MORE
  • 00:15:38.360 --> 00:15:39.328
  • ONE IS NOT MORESIGNIFICANT THAN THE OTHER.
  • 00:15:39.395 --> 00:15:40.162
  • SIGNIFICANT THAN THE OTHER.ONE IS WORDS OF
  • 00:15:40.229 --> 00:15:41.630
  • ONE IS WORDS OFAFFIRMATION--
  • 00:15:41.697 --> 00:15:42.731
  • AFFIRMATION--- MATT: GOT IT.
  • 00:15:42.798 --> 00:15:43.265
  • - MATT: GOT IT.- DR. CHAPMAN: -- USING
  • 00:15:43.332 --> 00:15:44.233
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: -- USINGWORDS TO AFFIRM THE OTHER
  • 00:15:44.299 --> 00:15:45.601
  • WORDS TO AFFIRM THE OTHERPERSON.
  • 00:15:45.667 --> 00:15:46.235
  • PERSON."YOU LOOK NICE IN THAT
  • 00:15:46.301 --> 00:15:47.736
  • "YOU LOOK NICE IN THATOUTFIT."
  • 00:15:47.803 --> 00:15:48.270
  • OUTFIT."- LAURIE: THANK YOU.
  • 00:15:48.337 --> 00:15:49.872
  • - LAURIE: THANK YOU.- DR. CHAPMAN: "REALLY
  • 00:15:49.938 --> 00:15:50.706
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: "REALLYAPPRECIATE WHAT YOU DID."
  • 00:15:50.773 --> 00:15:52.808
  • APPRECIATE WHAT YOU DID.""YOU KNOW ONE OF THE
  • 00:15:52.875 --> 00:15:53.275
  • "YOU KNOW ONE OF THETHINGS I LIKE ABOUT YOU?"
  • 00:15:53.342 --> 00:15:54.710
  • THINGS I LIKE ABOUT YOU?"IT'S JUST AFFIRMING THEM
  • 00:15:54.777 --> 00:15:55.878
  • IT'S JUST AFFIRMING THEMWITH WORDS.
  • 00:15:55.944 --> 00:15:57.479
  • WITH WORDS.YOU KNOW, THERE'S AN
  • 00:15:57.546 --> 00:15:57.946
  • YOU KNOW, THERE'S ANANCIENT HEBREW PROVERB
  • 00:15:58.013 --> 00:15:58.881
  • ANCIENT HEBREW PROVERBTHAT SAYS, "LIFE AND DEATH
  • 00:15:58.947 --> 00:16:00.416
  • THAT SAYS, "LIFE AND DEATHIS IN THE POWER OF THE
  • 00:16:00.482 --> 00:16:01.283
  • IS IN THE POWER OF THETONGUE."
  • 00:16:01.350 --> 00:16:02.518
  • TONGUE."WE CAN KILL PEOPLE;
  • 00:16:02.584 --> 00:16:03.652
  • WE CAN KILL PEOPLE;WE CAN GIVE THEM LIFE
  • 00:16:03.719 --> 00:16:05.287
  • WE CAN GIVE THEM LIFEBY THE WAY WE TALK TO THEM.
  • 00:16:05.354 --> 00:16:06.188
  • BY THE WAY WE TALK TO THEM.FOR SOME PEOPLE, THIS IS
  • 00:16:06.255 --> 00:16:07.856
  • FOR SOME PEOPLE, THIS ISTHEIR PRIMARY LOVE
  • 00:16:07.923 --> 00:16:09.224
  • THEIR PRIMARY LOVELANGUAGE.
  • 00:16:09.291 --> 00:16:09.758
  • LANGUAGE.THIS IS WHAT REALLY MAKES
  • 00:16:09.825 --> 00:16:11.060
  • THIS IS WHAT REALLY MAKESTHEM FEEL LOVED, AND IF
  • 00:16:11.126 --> 00:16:11.660
  • THEM FEEL LOVED, AND IFTHEY DON'T RECEIVE WORDS
  • 00:16:11.727 --> 00:16:13.362
  • THEY DON'T RECEIVE WORDSOF AFFIRMATION FROM YOU,
  • 00:16:13.429 --> 00:16:15.764
  • OF AFFIRMATION FROM YOU,THEIR LOVE TANK WILL GET
  • 00:16:15.831 --> 00:16:16.298
  • THEIR LOVE TANK WILL GETEMPTY.
  • 00:16:16.365 --> 00:16:17.399
  • EMPTY.THEY WILL NOT FEEL LOVED
  • 00:16:17.466 --> 00:16:18.600
  • THEY WILL NOT FEEL LOVEDEVEN THOUGH MAYBE YOU'RE
  • 00:16:18.667 --> 00:16:20.302
  • EVEN THOUGH MAYBE YOU'REWASHING THE DISHES AND
  • 00:16:20.369 --> 00:16:20.836
  • WASHING THE DISHES ANDDOING ALL THESE OTHER
  • 00:16:20.903 --> 00:16:21.703
  • DOING ALL THESE OTHERTHINGS-- SO WORDS OF
  • 00:16:21.770 --> 00:16:23.038
  • THINGS-- SO WORDS OFAFFIRMATION.
  • 00:16:23.105 --> 00:16:23.572
  • AFFIRMATION.- MATT: BEFORE YOU MOVE,
  • 00:16:23.639 --> 00:16:25.741
  • - MATT: BEFORE YOU MOVE,LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION
  • 00:16:25.808 --> 00:16:26.308
  • LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTIONON THAT.
  • 00:16:26.375 --> 00:16:27.342
  • ON THAT.MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME
  • 00:16:27.409 --> 00:16:28.710
  • MAYBE YOU CAN HELP MEIDENTIFY THE RIGHT WORD--
  • 00:16:28.777 --> 00:16:29.978
  • IDENTIFY THE RIGHT WORD--"PLACATING" IS "HEY, DEAR,
  • 00:16:30.045 --> 00:16:32.047
  • "PLACATING" IS "HEY, DEAR,YOU LOOK NICE."
  • 00:16:32.114 --> 00:16:35.050
  • YOU LOOK NICE."IS, IF YOU THINK THAT
  • 00:16:35.117 --> 00:16:39.354
  • IS, IF YOU THINK THATHER LOVE LANGUAGE IS
  • 00:16:39.421 --> 00:16:41.323
  • HER LOVE LANGUAGE ISWORDS OF AFFIRMATION,
  • 00:16:41.390 --> 00:16:42.157
  • WORDS OF AFFIRMATION,IS THAT SOMEWHAT PLACATING,
  • 00:16:42.224 --> 00:16:45.160
  • IS THAT SOMEWHAT PLACATING,OR COULD IT BE?
  • 00:16:45.227 --> 00:16:46.562
  • OR COULD IT BE?- DR. CHAPMAN: THE WORDS
  • 00:16:46.628 --> 00:16:47.129
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: THE WORDSHAVE TO BE SINCERE.
  • 00:16:47.196 --> 00:16:48.030
  • HAVE TO BE SINCERE.- MATT: OKAY.
  • 00:16:48.097 --> 00:16:48.897
  • - MATT: OKAY.- DR. CHAPMAN: THE WORDS
  • 00:16:48.964 --> 00:16:49.765
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: THE WORDSYOU SPEAK HAVE TO BE
  • 00:16:49.832 --> 00:16:50.399
  • YOU SPEAK HAVE TO BESINCERE, OTHERWISE, WE
  • 00:16:50.466 --> 00:16:51.066
  • SINCERE, OTHERWISE, WEPICK UP ON INSINCERITY.
  • 00:16:51.133 --> 00:16:53.735
  • PICK UP ON INSINCERITY.SO I THINK THE WORDS HAVE
  • 00:16:53.802 --> 00:16:54.303
  • SO I THINK THE WORDS HAVETO BE SINCERE.
  • 00:16:54.369 --> 00:16:54.937
  • TO BE SINCERE.AND YOU CAN SPEAK THE
  • 00:16:55.003 --> 00:16:56.705
  • AND YOU CAN SPEAK THEWORDS.
  • 00:16:56.772 --> 00:16:57.372
  • WORDS.YOU CAN ALSO WRITE THE
  • 00:16:57.439 --> 00:16:58.006
  • YOU CAN ALSO WRITE THEWORDS.
  • 00:16:58.073 --> 00:16:58.907
  • WORDS.I GUESS YOU COULD SING THE
  • 00:16:58.974 --> 00:17:00.375
  • I GUESS YOU COULD SING THEWORDS, BUT FOR WORDS
  • 00:17:00.442 --> 00:17:01.844
  • WORDS, BUT FOR WORDSPEOPLE, THE WORDS ARE
  • 00:17:01.910 --> 00:17:03.045
  • PEOPLE, THE WORDS AREIMPORTANT.
  • 00:17:03.112 --> 00:17:04.446
  • IMPORTANT.- MATT: WHY DO YOU THINK
  • 00:17:04.513 --> 00:17:05.013
  • - MATT: WHY DO YOU THINKTHAT IS?
  • 00:17:05.080 --> 00:17:05.781
  • THAT IS?OBVIOUSLY, IT'S NOT MY
  • 00:17:05.848 --> 00:17:07.516
  • OBVIOUSLY, IT'S NOT MYLOVE LANGUAGE AND SO--
  • 00:17:07.583 --> 00:17:08.884
  • LOVE LANGUAGE AND SO--- LAURIE: IT'S NOT HIS LOVE
  • 00:17:08.951 --> 00:17:09.485
  • - LAURIE: IT'S NOT HIS LOVELANGUAGE.
  • 00:17:09.551 --> 00:17:10.619
  • LANGUAGE.I THINK IT'S ONE OF MINE.
  • 00:17:10.686 --> 00:17:11.220
  • I THINK IT'S ONE OF MINE.- MATT: -- I HAVE TROUBLE.
  • 00:17:11.286 --> 00:17:12.488
  • - MATT: -- I HAVE TROUBLE.I HAVE-- SHE THINKS SHE
  • 00:17:12.554 --> 00:17:13.021
  • I HAVE-- SHE THINKS SHEHAS ALL FIVE, BY THE WAY,
  • 00:17:13.088 --> 00:17:14.323
  • HAS ALL FIVE, BY THE WAY,AND WANTS ME TO FILL ALL
  • 00:17:14.389 --> 00:17:14.857
  • AND WANTS ME TO FILL ALLFIVE OF THOSE TANKS, OKAY?
  • 00:17:14.923 --> 00:17:20.062
  • FIVE OF THOSE TANKS, OKAY?- LAURIE: I AM, AT
  • 00:17:20.129 --> 00:17:20.529
  • - LAURIE: I AM, ATLEAST, QUAD-LINGUAL.
  • 00:17:20.596 --> 00:17:22.731
  • LEAST, QUAD-LINGUAL.- MATT: OH, MY GOD.
  • 00:17:22.798 --> 00:17:23.532
  • - MATT: OH, MY GOD.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:23.966
  • [LAUGHTER]AND SO, ULTIMATELY, I MUST
  • 00:17:24.032 --> 00:17:25.334
  • AND SO, ULTIMATELY, I MUSTNOT NEED THAT, OR THAT
  • 00:17:25.400 --> 00:17:29.171
  • NOT NEED THAT, OR THATISN'T SOMETHING THAT--
  • 00:17:29.238 --> 00:17:30.239
  • ISN'T SOMETHING THAT--- LAURIE: YEAH, HE DOESN'T
  • 00:17:30.305 --> 00:17:30.906
  • - LAURIE: YEAH, HE DOESN'TNEED THAT.
  • 00:17:30.973 --> 00:17:31.473
  • NEED THAT.- MATT: -- 'CAUSE I DON'T
  • 00:17:31.540 --> 00:17:32.274
  • - MATT: -- 'CAUSE I DON'TQUITE GET IT.
  • 00:17:32.341 --> 00:17:33.642
  • QUITE GET IT.CAN YOU HELP ME GET IT
  • 00:17:33.709 --> 00:17:34.376
  • CAN YOU HELP ME GET ITBETTER?
  • 00:17:34.443 --> 00:17:35.277
  • BETTER?- DR. CHAPMAN: BUT HERE'S
  • 00:17:35.344 --> 00:17:35.844
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: BUT HERE'SWHY WE HAVE DIFFICULTY.
  • 00:17:35.911 --> 00:17:37.513
  • WHY WE HAVE DIFFICULTY.IF OUR NUMBER FIVE, THE
  • 00:17:37.579 --> 00:17:39.548
  • IF OUR NUMBER FIVE, THEONE THAT'S LEAST IMPORTANT
  • 00:17:39.615 --> 00:17:41.917
  • ONE THAT'S LEAST IMPORTANTTO US, IS OUR SPOUSE'S
  • 00:17:41.984 --> 00:17:43.519
  • TO US, IS OUR SPOUSE'SNUMBER ONE, WE WILL HAVE
  • 00:17:43.585 --> 00:17:45.354
  • NUMBER ONE, WE WILL HAVEDIFFICULTY UNDERSTANDING,
  • 00:17:45.420 --> 00:17:46.688
  • DIFFICULTY UNDERSTANDING,"WHY WOULD THAT MEAN SO
  • 00:17:46.755 --> 00:17:47.890
  • "WHY WOULD THAT MEAN SOMUCH TO YOU?"
  • 00:17:47.956 --> 00:17:49.191
  • MUCH TO YOU?"YOU KNOW, AND THAT'S WHY
  • 00:17:49.258 --> 00:17:51.860
  • YOU KNOW, AND THAT'S WHYIT'S A LEARNING CURVE.
  • 00:17:51.927 --> 00:17:52.828
  • IT'S A LEARNING CURVE.YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO
  • 00:17:52.895 --> 00:17:53.595
  • YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TODO THAT.
  • 00:17:53.662 --> 00:17:54.796
  • DO THAT.AND I REMEMBER A MAN WHO
  • 00:17:54.863 --> 00:17:55.330
  • AND I REMEMBER A MAN WHOSAID TO ME,
  • 00:17:55.397 --> 00:17:56.098
  • SAID TO ME,"DR. CHAPMAN, MY WIFE'S LOVE
  • 00:17:56.165 --> 00:17:57.366
  • "DR. CHAPMAN, MY WIFE'S LOVELANGUAGE IS WORDS OF
  • 00:17:57.432 --> 00:17:57.833
  • LANGUAGE IS WORDS OFAFFIRMATION.
  • 00:17:57.900 --> 00:17:59.535
  • AFFIRMATION.I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY
  • 00:17:59.601 --> 00:18:00.035
  • I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAYTHINGS.
  • 00:18:00.102 --> 00:18:01.336
  • THINGS.I CAN'T SAY THINGS LIKE
  • 00:18:01.403 --> 00:18:02.437
  • I CAN'T SAY THINGS LIKETHAT TO MY WIFE."
  • 00:18:02.504 --> 00:18:02.905
  • THAT TO MY WIFE."HE SAID,
  • 00:18:02.971 --> 00:18:05.507
  • HE SAID,"I NEVER HEARD WORDS OF
  • 00:18:05.574 --> 00:18:06.074
  • "I NEVER HEARD WORDS OFAFFIRMATION, GROWING UP,
  • 00:18:06.141 --> 00:18:07.543
  • AFFIRMATION, GROWING UP,AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO
  • 00:18:07.609 --> 00:18:08.110
  • AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DOTHAT."
  • 00:18:08.177 --> 00:18:10.078
  • THAT."I SAID, "WELL, LET
  • 00:18:10.145 --> 00:18:10.679
  • I SAID, "WELL, LETME ASK YOU THIS: TELL ME
  • 00:18:10.746 --> 00:18:11.480
  • ME ASK YOU THIS: TELL METHREE THINGS YOU
  • 00:18:11.547 --> 00:18:14.283
  • THREE THINGS YOUAPPRECIATE ABOUT YOUR WIFE."
  • 00:18:14.349 --> 00:18:16.218
  • APPRECIATE ABOUT YOUR WIFE."HE THOUGHT A MINUTE,
  • 00:18:16.285 --> 00:18:17.052
  • HE THOUGHT A MINUTE,AND HE SAID,
  • 00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:19.021
  • AND HE SAID,"WELL, SHE'S A GOOD COOK.
  • 00:18:19.087 --> 00:18:20.989
  • "WELL, SHE'S A GOOD COOK.SHE'S A GOOD MOTHER, AND
  • 00:18:21.056 --> 00:18:22.424
  • SHE'S A GOOD MOTHER, ANDSHE'S A GOOD SCHOOLTEACHER."
  • 00:18:22.491 --> 00:18:26.195
  • SHE'S A GOOD SCHOOLTEACHER."I SAID, "OKAY."
  • 00:18:26.261 --> 00:18:26.728
  • I SAID, "OKAY."SO I JUST TOOK A
  • 00:18:26.795 --> 00:18:27.596
  • SO I JUST TOOK ASHEET OF PAPER, AND I
  • 00:18:27.663 --> 00:18:28.430
  • SHEET OF PAPER, AND IWROTE OUT ONE SENTENCE ON
  • 00:18:28.497 --> 00:18:30.098
  • WROTE OUT ONE SENTENCE ONEACH ONE OF THOSE, LIKE,
  • 00:18:30.165 --> 00:18:31.667
  • EACH ONE OF THOSE, LIKE,FOR EXAMPLE, ON THE COOKING:
  • 00:18:31.733 --> 00:18:32.935
  • FOR EXAMPLE, ON THE COOKING:"HONEY, I HAVEN'T TOLD
  • 00:18:33.001 --> 00:18:33.502
  • "HONEY, I HAVEN'T TOLDYOU THIS MAYBE EVER,
  • 00:18:33.569 --> 00:18:35.204
  • YOU THIS MAYBE EVER,BUT I REALLY APPRECIATE
  • 00:18:35.270 --> 00:18:36.505
  • BUT I REALLY APPRECIATEALL THE MEALS YOU FIX FOR US."
  • 00:18:36.572 --> 00:18:38.840
  • ALL THE MEALS YOU FIX FOR US."AND I JUST WROTE THAT
  • 00:18:38.907 --> 00:18:40.108
  • AND I JUST WROTE THATONE SENTENCE.
  • 00:18:40.175 --> 00:18:40.609
  • ONE SENTENCE.I SAID, "GO HOME AND STAND
  • 00:18:40.676 --> 00:18:41.476
  • I SAID, "GO HOME AND STANDIN FRONT OF A MIRROR, AND
  • 00:18:41.543 --> 00:18:42.945
  • IN FRONT OF A MIRROR, ANDREAD THESE OUT LOUD TO
  • 00:18:43.011 --> 00:18:43.879
  • READ THESE OUT LOUD TOYOURSELF TWICE A DAY THIS
  • 00:18:43.946 --> 00:18:45.447
  • YOURSELF TWICE A DAY THISWEEK, AND COME BACK."
  • 00:18:45.514 --> 00:18:47.282
  • WEEK, AND COME BACK."HE CAME BACK.
  • 00:18:47.349 --> 00:18:49.151
  • HE CAME BACK.I SAID, "NOW, CAN YOU SAY
  • 00:18:49.218 --> 00:18:50.152
  • I SAID, "NOW, CAN YOU SAYTHOSE THREE SENTENCES
  • 00:18:50.219 --> 00:18:50.619
  • THOSE THREE SENTENCESWITHOUT LOOKIN' AT YOUR
  • 00:18:50.686 --> 00:18:51.386
  • WITHOUT LOOKIN' AT YOURNOTES?"
  • 00:18:51.453 --> 00:18:52.254
  • NOTES?"HE DID.
  • 00:18:52.321 --> 00:18:53.388
  • HE DID.HE STUMBLED A LITTLE BIT,
  • 00:18:53.455 --> 00:18:53.956
  • HE STUMBLED A LITTLE BIT,BUT HE SAID THEM.
  • 00:18:54.022 --> 00:18:55.791
  • BUT HE SAID THEM.I SAID, "OKAY, HERE'S YOUR
  • 00:18:55.857 --> 00:18:56.358
  • I SAID, "OKAY, HERE'S YOURASSIGNMENT.
  • 00:18:56.425 --> 00:18:57.826
  • ASSIGNMENT.YOU JUST GO HOME AND SAY
  • 00:18:57.893 --> 00:18:58.360
  • YOU JUST GO HOME AND SAYONE OF THOSE THE NEXT
  • 00:18:58.427 --> 00:18:59.561
  • ONE OF THOSE THE NEXTTHREE WEEKS, ONE EACH WEEK.
  • 00:18:59.628 --> 00:19:01.029
  • THREE WEEKS, ONE EACH WEEK.YOU JUST PICK THE TIME AND
  • 00:19:01.096 --> 00:19:02.130
  • YOU JUST PICK THE TIME ANDTHE DAY, AND YOU JUST SAY
  • 00:19:02.197 --> 00:19:03.599
  • THE DAY, AND YOU JUST SAYONE OF THEM EACH WEEK.
  • 00:19:03.665 --> 00:19:05.167
  • ONE OF THEM EACH WEEK.YOU COME BACK."
  • 00:19:05.234 --> 00:19:06.068
  • YOU COME BACK."HE CAME BACK.
  • 00:19:06.134 --> 00:19:07.603
  • HE CAME BACK.I SAID, "DID YOU DO IT?"
  • 00:19:07.669 --> 00:19:09.104
  • I SAID, "DID YOU DO IT?"HE SAID, "YEAH."
  • 00:19:09.171 --> 00:19:09.905
  • HE SAID, "YEAH."HE SAID,
  • 00:19:09.972 --> 00:19:10.372
  • HE SAID,"DR. CHAPMAN,"
  • 00:19:10.439 --> 00:19:11.306
  • "DR. CHAPMAN,"HE SAID, "WHEN I GOT
  • 00:19:11.373 --> 00:19:12.574
  • HE SAID, "WHEN I GOTTO THE THIRD ONE, MY
  • 00:19:12.641 --> 00:19:13.575
  • TO THE THIRD ONE, MYWIFE SAID, "WHAT'S GOIN'
  • 00:19:13.642 --> 00:19:14.343
  • WIFE SAID, "WHAT'S GOIN'ON WITH YOU?"
  • 00:19:14.409 --> 00:19:15.077
  • ON WITH YOU?"[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:19:15.143 --> 00:19:16.078
  • [LAUGHTER]"I'VE NEVER HEARD YOU GIVE
  • 00:19:16.144 --> 00:19:16.645
  • "I'VE NEVER HEARD YOU GIVEME SO MANY COMPLIMENTS."
  • 00:19:16.712 --> 00:19:17.846
  • ME SO MANY COMPLIMENTS."AND HE SAID, "I JUST TOLD
  • 00:19:17.913 --> 00:19:18.780
  • AND HE SAID, "I JUST TOLDHER, 'WELL, HONEY, I'M
  • 00:19:18.847 --> 00:19:20.182
  • HER, 'WELL, HONEY, I'MREALLY TRYIN' TO LEARN HOW
  • 00:19:20.249 --> 00:19:20.983
  • REALLY TRYIN' TO LEARN HOWTO LET YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I
  • 00:19:21.049 --> 00:19:22.918
  • TO LET YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IAPPRECIATE YOU.'"
  • 00:19:22.985 --> 00:19:25.420
  • APPRECIATE YOU.'"SHE SAID, "THAT'S WONDERFUL.
  • 00:19:25.487 --> 00:19:26.021
  • SHE SAID, "THAT'S WONDERFUL.I LOVE YOU."
  • 00:19:26.088 --> 00:19:26.455
  • I LOVE YOU."HE SAID, "DR. CHAPMAN,
  • 00:19:26.521 --> 00:19:28.190
  • HE SAID, "DR. CHAPMAN,SHE HADN'T SAID
  • 00:19:28.257 --> 00:19:28.991
  • SHE HADN'T SAIDTHAT IN A LONG TIME."
  • 00:19:29.057 --> 00:19:29.725
  • THAT IN A LONG TIME."- MATT: WOW.
  • 00:19:29.791 --> 00:19:31.126
  • - MATT: WOW.- LAURIE: I'LL WRITE
  • 00:19:31.193 --> 00:19:31.760
  • - LAURIE: I'LL WRITETHOSE OUT FOR YOU WHEN WE
  • 00:19:31.827 --> 00:19:32.995
  • THOSE OUT FOR YOU WHEN WEGET HOME.
  • 00:19:33.061 --> 00:19:33.495
  • GET HOME.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:19:33.562 --> 00:19:34.463
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: OKAY, SO, IF
  • 00:19:34.529 --> 00:19:38.233
  • - MATT: OKAY, SO, IFSOMEBODY IS SITTING THERE,
  • 00:19:38.300 --> 00:19:40.002
  • SOMEBODY IS SITTING THERE,VIEWING THIS, AND IT'S
  • 00:19:40.068 --> 00:19:40.569
  • VIEWING THIS, AND IT'SSUPER UNCOMFORTABLE RIGHT
  • 00:19:40.636 --> 00:19:41.903
  • SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE RIGHTNOW ON THE COUCH BECAUSE
  • 00:19:41.970 --> 00:19:43.939
  • NOW ON THE COUCH BECAUSEBOTH OF THEIR LOVE TANKS
  • 00:19:44.006 --> 00:19:46.308
  • BOTH OF THEIR LOVE TANKSARE EMPTY AND THEY ARE SAYING,
  • 00:19:46.375 --> 00:19:49.645
  • ARE EMPTY AND THEY ARE SAYING,"YEAH, THAT'S OKAY FOR YOU.
  • 00:19:49.711 --> 00:19:50.812
  • "YEAH, THAT'S OKAY FOR YOU.YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS SEEM
  • 00:19:50.879 --> 00:19:52.848
  • YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS SEEMTO, YOU KNOW, ALWAYS BE
  • 00:19:52.914 --> 00:19:55.584
  • TO, YOU KNOW, ALWAYS BETOGETHER, AND, YOU KNOW,
  • 00:19:55.651 --> 00:19:58.453
  • TOGETHER, AND, YOU KNOW,IT'S EASY FOR YOU, BUT YOU
  • 00:19:58.520 --> 00:19:59.855
  • IT'S EASY FOR YOU, BUT YOUDON'T UNDERSTAND-- THERE'S
  • 00:19:59.921 --> 00:20:01.623
  • DON'T UNDERSTAND-- THERE'SJUST NO FEELING THERE.
  • 00:20:01.690 --> 00:20:02.924
  • JUST NO FEELING THERE.THERE'S NO FEELING.
  • 00:20:02.991 --> 00:20:05.861
  • THERE'S NO FEELING.I DON'T EVEN FEEL LIKE I
  • 00:20:05.927 --> 00:20:07.396
  • I DON'T EVEN FEEL LIKE ICAN ATTEMPT TO DO THIS
  • 00:20:07.462 --> 00:20:09.097
  • CAN ATTEMPT TO DO THISWITH SOME SENSE OF
  • 00:20:09.164 --> 00:20:09.831
  • WITH SOME SENSE OFSINCERITY.
  • 00:20:09.898 --> 00:20:14.069
  • SINCERITY.IF I DID IT, IT WOULD BE
  • 00:20:14.136 --> 00:20:14.670
  • IF I DID IT, IT WOULD BEFAKE," WHAT DO YOU SAY
  • 00:20:14.736 --> 00:20:16.104
  • FAKE," WHAT DO YOU SAYABOUT THAT?
  • 00:20:16.171 --> 00:20:16.605
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: LOVE IS AN
  • 00:20:17.639 --> 00:20:18.140
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: LOVE IS ANATTITUDE WITH APPROPRIATE
  • 00:20:18.206 --> 00:20:18.807
  • ATTITUDE WITH APPROPRIATEBEHAVIOR.
  • 00:20:18.874 --> 00:20:20.976
  • BEHAVIOR.IT DOESN'T BEGIN WITH A
  • 00:20:21.043 --> 00:20:21.943
  • IT DOESN'T BEGIN WITH AFEELING.
  • 00:20:22.010 --> 00:20:23.145
  • FEELING.FALLING IN LOVE BEGINS
  • 00:20:23.211 --> 00:20:24.579
  • FALLING IN LOVE BEGINSWITH A FEELING.
  • 00:20:24.646 --> 00:20:26.815
  • YOU DON'T SAY ONE DAY--
  • 00:20:28.550 --> 00:20:29.918
  • YOU DON'T SAY ONE DAY--IF YOU'RE SINGLE, YOU DON'T
  • 00:20:29.985 --> 00:20:31.053
  • IF YOU'RE SINGLE, YOU DON'TSAY, ONE DAY, "I THINK
  • 00:20:31.119 --> 00:20:31.720
  • SAY, ONE DAY, "I THINKI'LL FALL IN LOVE TODAY."
  • 00:20:31.787 --> 00:20:33.322
  • I'LL FALL IN LOVE TODAY."NO, YOU MEET SOMEBODY.
  • 00:20:33.388 --> 00:20:34.356
  • NO, YOU MEET SOMEBODY.THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT
  • 00:20:34.423 --> 00:20:35.524
  • THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUTTHE WAY THEY LOOK, THE WAY
  • 00:20:35.590 --> 00:20:36.725
  • THE WAY THEY LOOK, THE WAYTHEY TALK, THE WAY THEY
  • 00:20:36.792 --> 00:20:37.893
  • THEY TALK, THE WAY THEYEMOTE, THAT GIVES YOU AN
  • 00:20:37.959 --> 00:20:39.094
  • EMOTE, THAT GIVES YOU ANEMOTIONAL TINGLE.
  • 00:20:39.161 --> 00:20:40.762
  • EMOTIONAL TINGLE.I CALL IT A TINGLE.
  • 00:20:40.829 --> 00:20:41.330
  • I CALL IT A TINGLE.AND THE MORE YOU'RE
  • 00:20:41.396 --> 00:20:43.332
  • AND THE MORE YOU'RETOGETHER, THE MORE YOU
  • 00:20:43.398 --> 00:20:44.132
  • TOGETHER, THE MORE YOUWANNA BE TOGETHER.
  • 00:20:44.199 --> 00:20:45.334
  • WANNA BE TOGETHER.WE CALL IT FALLING IN LOVE
  • 00:20:45.400 --> 00:20:46.435
  • WE CALL IT FALLING IN LOVEOR BEING IN LOVE.
  • 00:20:46.501 --> 00:20:47.903
  • OR BEING IN LOVE.IT TAKES NO WORK AT ALL.
  • 00:20:47.969 --> 00:20:48.503
  • IT TAKES NO WORK AT ALL.IT'S JUST A--
  • 00:20:48.570 --> 00:20:49.938
  • IT'S JUST A--- MATT: JUST HAPPENS.
  • 00:20:50.005 --> 00:20:50.472
  • - MATT: JUST HAPPENS.- DR. CHAPMAN: -- A
  • 00:20:50.539 --> 00:20:50.972
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: -- APHENOMENON.
  • 00:20:51.039 --> 00:20:52.040
  • PHENOMENON.BUT IT HAS AN AVERAGE
  • 00:20:52.107 --> 00:20:52.941
  • BUT IT HAS AN AVERAGELIFESPAN OF TWO YEARS, AND
  • 00:20:53.008 --> 00:20:54.710
  • LIFESPAN OF TWO YEARS, ANDWE COME DOWN OFF THE HIGH,
  • 00:20:54.776 --> 00:20:56.278
  • WE COME DOWN OFF THE HIGH,AND THIS IS WHERE KNOWING
  • 00:20:56.345 --> 00:20:58.413
  • AND THIS IS WHERE KNOWINGTHE PERSON'S LOVE LANGUAGE
  • 00:20:58.480 --> 00:20:59.915
  • THE PERSON'S LOVE LANGUAGEBECOMES EXTREMELY
  • 00:20:59.981 --> 00:21:01.350
  • BECOMES EXTREMELYIMPORTANT BECAUSE NOW IT
  • 00:21:01.416 --> 00:21:01.850
  • IMPORTANT BECAUSE NOW ITDOESN'T JUST HAPPEN.
  • 00:21:01.917 --> 00:21:02.851
  • DOESN'T JUST HAPPEN.NOW WE'VE GOT TO
  • 00:21:02.918 --> 00:21:04.252
  • NOW WE'VE GOT TOINTENTIONALLY LEARN HOW TO
  • 00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:05.687
  • INTENTIONALLY LEARN HOW TOCOMMUNICATE LOVE TO THE
  • 00:21:05.754 --> 00:21:06.355
  • COMMUNICATE LOVE TO THEOTHER PERSON.
  • 00:21:06.421 --> 00:21:07.022
  • OTHER PERSON.AND SO THAT'S WHY I SAY,
  • 00:21:07.089 --> 00:21:09.091
  • AND SO THAT'S WHY I SAY,IN THE BIBLE, LOVE IS NOT
  • 00:21:09.157 --> 00:21:10.258
  • IN THE BIBLE, LOVE IS NOTBASICALLY A FEELING.
  • 00:21:10.325 --> 00:21:11.059
  • BASICALLY A FEELING.IT'S BASICALLY AN
  • 00:21:11.126 --> 00:21:12.494
  • IT'S BASICALLY ANATTITUDE, AND THE ATTITUDE
  • 00:21:12.561 --> 00:21:14.262
  • ATTITUDE, AND THE ATTITUDEIS "I'M HERE TO ENRICH
  • 00:21:14.329 --> 00:21:15.163
  • IS "I'M HERE TO ENRICHYOUR LIFE.
  • 00:21:15.230 --> 00:21:17.032
  • YOUR LIFE.HOW CAN I ENRICH YOUR LIFE?"
  • 00:21:17.099 --> 00:21:19.000
  • HOW CAN I ENRICH YOUR LIFE?"AND THEN IT HAS
  • 00:21:19.067 --> 00:21:21.970
  • AND THEN IT HASAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR.
  • 00:21:22.037 --> 00:21:23.138
  • APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR.SEE, GOD LOVED US, AND HE
  • 00:21:23.205 --> 00:21:24.039
  • SEE, GOD LOVED US, AND HESENT CHRIST.
  • 00:21:24.106 --> 00:21:26.942
  • SENT CHRIST.HE HAD AN ATTITUDE OF LOVE.
  • 00:21:27.008 --> 00:21:27.542
  • HE HAD AN ATTITUDE OF LOVE.HE CARES ABOUT OUR
  • 00:21:27.609 --> 00:21:28.310
  • HE CARES ABOUT OURWELL-BEING.
  • 00:21:28.377 --> 00:21:30.645
  • WELL-BEING.HE SENT CHRIST TO DIE FOR
  • 00:21:30.712 --> 00:21:32.047
  • HE SENT CHRIST TO DIE FORUS SO THAT HE COULD
  • 00:21:32.114 --> 00:21:33.382
  • US SO THAT HE COULDFORGIVE US AND STILL BE A
  • 00:21:33.448 --> 00:21:34.015
  • FORGIVE US AND STILL BE AJUST AND HOLY GOD.
  • 00:21:34.082 --> 00:21:34.716
  • JUST AND HOLY GOD.HE EXPRESSED HIS LOVE.
  • 00:21:34.783 --> 00:21:35.183
  • I DON'T THINK GOD WAS
  • 00:21:36.618 --> 00:21:37.319
  • I DON'T THINK GOD WASSITTIN' AROUND HAVING
  • 00:21:37.386 --> 00:21:37.786
  • SITTIN' AROUND HAVINGTINGLY FEELINGS.
  • 00:21:37.853 --> 00:21:38.820
  • TINGLY FEELINGS.HE LOVES US.
  • 00:21:38.887 --> 00:21:41.223
  • HE LOVES US.HE WANTS THE BEST FOR US.
  • 00:21:41.289 --> 00:21:41.857
  • HE WANTS THE BEST FOR US.SO IF WE UNDERSTAND THAT,
  • 00:21:41.923 --> 00:21:44.326
  • SO IF WE UNDERSTAND THAT,LOVE BEGINS WITH AN
  • 00:21:44.393 --> 00:21:45.761
  • LOVE BEGINS WITH ANATTITUDE, AND SO WE DON'T
  • 00:21:45.827 --> 00:21:47.028
  • ATTITUDE, AND SO WE DON'TWAIT UNTIL WE HAVE WARM
  • 00:21:47.095 --> 00:21:48.163
  • WAIT UNTIL WE HAVE WARMFEELINGS AGAIN FOR THE
  • 00:21:48.230 --> 00:21:49.297
  • FEELINGS AGAIN FOR THEOTHER PERSON.
  • 00:21:49.364 --> 00:21:53.335
  • OTHER PERSON.WE SAY TO GOD, "LORD, I
  • 00:21:53.402 --> 00:21:54.669
  • WE SAY TO GOD, "LORD, IKNOW YOU LOVE THEM.
  • 00:21:54.736 --> 00:21:56.304
  • KNOW YOU LOVE THEM.I DON'T HAVE LOVE FEELINGS
  • 00:21:56.371 --> 00:21:57.639
  • I DON'T HAVE LOVE FEELINGSFOR THEM, BUT I'M MARRIED
  • 00:21:57.706 --> 00:21:58.407
  • FOR THEM, BUT I'M MARRIEDTO THEM--"
  • 00:21:58.473 --> 00:21:59.775
  • TO THEM--"OR "I'M THEIR CLOSE FRIEND"
  • 00:21:59.841 --> 00:22:01.543
  • OR "I'M THEIR CLOSE FRIEND"OR "THEY'RE MY GROWN
  • 00:22:01.610 --> 00:22:02.677
  • OR "THEY'RE MY GROWNSON OR DAUGHTER,
  • 00:22:02.744 --> 00:22:04.212
  • SON OR DAUGHTER,AND I WANNA BE YOUR
  • 00:22:04.279 --> 00:22:05.180
  • AND I WANNA BE YOURCHANNEL FOR LOVING THEM,
  • 00:22:05.247 --> 00:22:06.181
  • NOW, SHOW ME HOW TO MOST
  • 00:22:07.282 --> 00:22:09.050
  • NOW, SHOW ME HOW TO MOSTEFFECTIVELY LOVE THEM."
  • 00:22:09.117 --> 00:22:09.618
  • EFFECTIVELY LOVE THEM."AND YOU MOVE OUT WITH
  • 00:22:09.684 --> 00:22:11.019
  • AND YOU MOVE OUT WITHBEHAVIOR BASED ON YOUR
  • 00:22:11.086 --> 00:22:12.020
  • BEHAVIOR BASED ON YOURATTITUDE.
  • 00:22:12.087 --> 00:22:12.821
  • ATTITUDE.THEN, WHEN YOU CONNECT
  • 00:22:12.888 --> 00:22:14.256
  • THEN, WHEN YOU CONNECTWITH THEM AND THEY FEEL
  • 00:22:14.322 --> 00:22:16.124
  • WITH THEM AND THEY FEELLOVED BY YOU, THEY'RE FAR
  • 00:22:16.191 --> 00:22:17.659
  • LOVED BY YOU, THEY'RE FARMORE LIKELY TO BEGIN TO
  • 00:22:17.726 --> 00:22:20.362
  • MORE LIKELY TO BEGIN TORECIPROCATE, AND THE
  • 00:22:20.429 --> 00:22:20.829
  • RECIPROCATE, AND THEFEELINGS COME BACK.
  • 00:22:20.896 --> 00:22:21.696
  • FEELINGS COME BACK.YEAH, THE FEELINGS ARE
  • 00:22:21.763 --> 00:22:22.364
  • YEAH, THE FEELINGS AREIMPORTANT.
  • 00:22:22.431 --> 00:22:22.798
  • IMPORTANT.WE ARE EMOTIONAL
  • 00:22:22.864 --> 00:22:23.665
  • WE ARE EMOTIONALCREATURES, OKAY?
  • 00:22:23.732 --> 00:22:24.466
  • CREATURES, OKAY?GOD IS EMOTIONAL AS WELL.
  • 00:22:24.533 --> 00:22:26.067
  • GOD IS EMOTIONAL AS WELL.YOU JUST READ ABOUT GOD.
  • 00:22:26.134 --> 00:22:27.436
  • YOU JUST READ ABOUT GOD.YOU SEE ALL THE EMOTIONS
  • 00:22:27.502 --> 00:22:28.236
  • YOU SEE ALL THE EMOTIONSIN GOD.
  • 00:22:28.303 --> 00:22:29.271
  • IN GOD.WE'RE EMOTIONAL CREATURES,
  • 00:22:29.337 --> 00:22:31.506
  • WE'RE EMOTIONAL CREATURES,BUT LOVE ITSELF DOESN'T
  • 00:22:31.573 --> 00:22:32.374
  • BUT LOVE ITSELF DOESN'TBEGIN WITH THE EMOTION.
  • 00:22:32.441 --> 00:22:34.042
  • BEGIN WITH THE EMOTION.THE ATTITUDE AND THE
  • 00:22:34.109 --> 00:22:34.810
  • THE ATTITUDE AND THEBEHAVIOR STIMULATES THE
  • 00:22:34.876 --> 00:22:36.912
  • BEHAVIOR STIMULATES THEEMOTION, AND THE EMOTION
  • 00:22:36.978 --> 00:22:38.914
  • EMOTION, AND THE EMOTIONCOMES BACK MAYBE DOWN THE
  • 00:22:38.980 --> 00:22:40.449
  • COMES BACK MAYBE DOWN THEROAD.
  • 00:22:40.515 --> 00:22:40.916
  • ROAD.IT MIGHT BE THREE WEEKS,
  • 00:22:40.982 --> 00:22:41.817
  • IT MIGHT BE THREE WEEKS,IT MIGHT BE THREE MONTHS,
  • 00:22:41.883 --> 00:22:42.684
  • IT MIGHT BE THREE MONTHS,BUT THE EMOTIONS COME BACK
  • 00:22:42.751 --> 00:22:43.618
  • BUT THE EMOTIONS COME BACKAFTER WE'VE CHOSEN TO
  • 00:22:43.685 --> 00:22:45.053
  • AFTER WE'VE CHOSEN TOCOMMUNICATE LOVE.
  • 00:22:45.120 --> 00:22:46.388
  • COMMUNICATE LOVE.- MATT: OKAY, LET'S MOVE
  • 00:22:46.455 --> 00:22:47.355
  • - MATT: OKAY, LET'S MOVETO ACTS OF SERVICE.
  • 00:22:47.422 --> 00:22:48.190
  • TO ACTS OF SERVICE.- DR. CHAPMAN: ACTS OF
  • 00:22:48.256 --> 00:22:49.825
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: ACTS OFSERVICE IS DOING SOMETHING
  • 00:22:49.891 --> 00:22:51.026
  • SERVICE IS DOING SOMETHINGFOR THE OTHER PERSON THAT
  • 00:22:51.092 --> 00:22:52.761
  • FOR THE OTHER PERSON THATYOU KNOW THEY WOULD LIKE
  • 00:22:52.828 --> 00:22:53.595
  • YOU KNOW THEY WOULD LIKEFOR YOU TO DO.
  • 00:22:53.662 --> 00:22:55.664
  • FOR YOU TO DO.- MATT: TAKING OUT THE
  • 00:22:55.730 --> 00:22:56.264
  • - MATT: TAKING OUT THETRASH?
  • 00:22:56.331 --> 00:22:56.798
  • TRASH?- LAURIE: HE DOES THAT SO
  • 00:22:56.865 --> 00:22:57.466
  • - LAURIE: HE DOES THAT SOWELL.
  • 00:22:57.532 --> 00:22:58.033
  • WELL.- DR. CHAPMAN:
  • 00:22:58.099 --> 00:22:58.533
  • - DR. CHAPMAN:ABSOLUTELY.
  • 00:22:58.600 --> 00:22:58.967
  • ABSOLUTELY.ACTS OF SERVICE.
  • 00:22:59.034 --> 00:22:59.501
  • ACTS OF SERVICE.IT'S WASHING DISHES,
  • 00:22:59.568 --> 00:23:00.035
  • IT'S WASHING DISHES,VACUUMING FLOORS, WALKIN'
  • 00:23:00.101 --> 00:23:00.569
  • VACUUMING FLOORS, WALKIN'THE DOG, WASHIN' THE CAR,
  • 00:23:00.635 --> 00:23:01.436
  • THE DOG, WASHIN' THE CAR,MOWIN' THE GRASS, CHANGING
  • 00:23:01.503 --> 00:23:02.938
  • MOWIN' THE GRASS, CHANGINGTHE BABY'S DIAPER-- WOO,
  • 00:23:03.004 --> 00:23:04.005
  • THE BABY'S DIAPER-- WOO,THAT'S A BIG ACT OF SERVICE.
  • 00:23:04.072 --> 00:23:06.308
  • THAT'S A BIG ACT OF SERVICE.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:23:06.374 --> 00:23:07.843
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: YEAH, LIGHTBULBS.
  • 00:23:07.909 --> 00:23:08.944
  • - MATT: YEAH, LIGHTBULBS.- DR. CHAPMAN: YES.
  • 00:23:09.010 --> 00:23:10.412
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: YES.- MATT: CHANGING
  • 00:23:10.479 --> 00:23:11.079
  • - MATT: CHANGINGLIGHTBULBS.
  • 00:23:11.146 --> 00:23:11.580
  • LIGHTBULBS.THAT'S A BIG THING FOR HER.
  • 00:23:11.646 --> 00:23:13.014
  • THAT'S A BIG THING FOR HER.- DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,
  • 00:23:13.081 --> 00:23:14.449
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,REMEMBER THE OLD SAYING,
  • 00:23:14.516 --> 00:23:15.750
  • REMEMBER THE OLD SAYING,"ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN
  • 00:23:15.817 --> 00:23:16.284
  • "ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THANWORDS"?
  • 00:23:16.351 --> 00:23:16.818
  • WORDS"?- MATT: WOW.
  • 00:23:16.885 --> 00:23:17.819
  • - MATT: WOW.- DR. CHAPMAN: IT'S TRUE
  • 00:23:17.886 --> 00:23:18.386
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: IT'S TRUEIF THIS IS YOUR LOVE
  • 00:23:18.453 --> 00:23:18.887
  • IF THIS IS YOUR LOVELANGUAGE.
  • 00:23:18.954 --> 00:23:19.387
  • LANGUAGE.IT'S NOT TRUE FOR
  • 00:23:19.454 --> 00:23:20.121
  • IT'S NOT TRUE FOREVERYONE, BUT IF THIS IS
  • 00:23:20.188 --> 00:23:21.289
  • EVERYONE, BUT IF THIS ISYOUR LOVE LANGUAGE,
  • 00:23:21.356 --> 00:23:21.790
  • YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE,ACTIONS WILL SPEAK LOUDER
  • 00:23:21.857 --> 00:23:22.757
  • ACTIONS WILL SPEAK LOUDERTHAN WORDS.
  • 00:23:22.824 --> 00:23:24.059
  • THAN WORDS.YOU SEE, IN MY OWN
  • 00:23:24.125 --> 00:23:25.827
  • YOU SEE, IN MY OWNMARRIAGE, I DIDN'T KNOW
  • 00:23:25.894 --> 00:23:26.828
  • MARRIAGE, I DIDN'T KNOWANYTHING ABOUT LOVE
  • 00:23:26.895 --> 00:23:27.395
  • ANYTHING ABOUT LOVELANGUAGES WHEN WE GOT
  • 00:23:27.462 --> 00:23:28.296
  • LANGUAGES WHEN WE GOTMARRIED.
  • 00:23:28.363 --> 00:23:30.098
  • MARRIED.I DID KNOW ABOUT MYSELF
  • 00:23:30.165 --> 00:23:31.933
  • I DID KNOW ABOUT MYSELFTHAT I FELT AFFIRMED IF
  • 00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:33.435
  • THAT I FELT AFFIRMED IFPEOPLE GAVE ME WORDS OF
  • 00:23:33.502 --> 00:23:33.969
  • PEOPLE GAVE ME WORDS OFAFFIRMATION.
  • 00:23:34.035 --> 00:23:36.905
  • AFFIRMATION.I WOULDN'T HAVE CALLED IT
  • 00:23:36.972 --> 00:23:38.139
  • I WOULDN'T HAVE CALLED ITTHAT AT THE TIME, SO WHAT
  • 00:23:38.206 --> 00:23:38.707
  • THAT AT THE TIME, SO WHATDID I DO WHEN I GOT
  • 00:23:38.773 --> 00:23:39.174
  • DID I DO WHEN I GOTMARRIED?
  • 00:23:39.241 --> 00:23:40.141
  • MARRIED?I DID WHAT COMES NATURAL.
  • 00:23:40.208 --> 00:23:41.443
  • I DID WHAT COMES NATURAL.I GAVE HER WORDS OF
  • 00:23:41.510 --> 00:23:42.210
  • I GAVE HER WORDS OFAFFIRMATION, TOLD HER HOW
  • 00:23:42.277 --> 00:23:43.778
  • AFFIRMATION, TOLD HER HOWNICE SHE LOOKED, HOW GLAD
  • 00:23:43.845 --> 00:23:45.213
  • NICE SHE LOOKED, HOW GLADI WAS THAT I MARRIED HER.
  • 00:23:45.280 --> 00:23:46.882
  • I WAS THAT I MARRIED HER.I PROBABLY TOLD HER A
  • 00:23:46.948 --> 00:23:48.650
  • I PROBABLY TOLD HER ADOZEN TIMES A DAY,
  • 00:23:48.717 --> 00:23:49.150
  • DOZEN TIMES A DAY,"I LOVE YOU, HONEY,"
  • 00:23:49.217 --> 00:23:49.918
  • "I LOVE YOU, HONEY,""I LOVE YOU,
  • 00:23:49.985 --> 00:23:51.152
  • "I LOVE YOU,LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU."
  • 00:23:51.219 --> 00:23:51.953
  • LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU."[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:23:52.020 --> 00:23:53.622
  • [LAUGHTER]AND ONE NIGHT, SHE SAID TO ME,
  • 00:23:53.688 --> 00:23:54.723
  • AND ONE NIGHT, SHE SAID TO ME,"YOU KEEP ON SAYING,
  • 00:23:54.789 --> 00:23:56.558
  • "YOU KEEP ON SAYING,'I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU.'
  • 00:23:56.625 --> 00:23:57.626
  • 'I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU.'IF YOU LOVED ME, WHY DON'T
  • 00:23:57.692 --> 00:23:58.927
  • IF YOU LOVED ME, WHY DON'TYOU HELP ME?"
  • 00:23:58.994 --> 00:24:01.496
  • YOU HELP ME?"AND I WAS BLOWN OUT OF THE
  • 00:24:01.563 --> 00:24:03.064
  • AND I WAS BLOWN OUT OF THESADDLE 'CAUSE, IN MY MIND,
  • 00:24:03.131 --> 00:24:04.299
  • SADDLE 'CAUSE, IN MY MIND,I LOVED HER.
  • 00:24:04.366 --> 00:24:07.035
  • I LOVED HER.IN HER MIND, IF I LOVED
  • 00:24:07.102 --> 00:24:07.669
  • IN HER MIND, IF I LOVEDHER, I'D BE HELPING HER.
  • 00:24:07.736 --> 00:24:09.170
  • HER, I'D BE HELPING HER.I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT LOVE
  • 00:24:09.237 --> 00:24:10.972
  • I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT LOVELANGUAGES, BUT SHE WAS
  • 00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:12.741
  • LANGUAGES, BUT SHE WASTELLIN' ME, YOU KNOW,
  • 00:24:12.807 --> 00:24:13.942
  • TELLIN' ME, YOU KNOW,"IF YOU LOVE ME, HELP ME
  • 00:24:14.009 --> 00:24:14.776
  • "IF YOU LOVE ME, HELP MEAROUND THE HOUSE HERE."
  • 00:24:14.843 --> 00:24:16.411
  • AROUND THE HOUSE HERE."AND I WAS THINKIN',
  • 00:24:16.478 --> 00:24:17.646
  • AND I WAS THINKIN',"I'M IN GRADUATE SCHOOL.
  • 00:24:17.712 --> 00:24:18.413
  • "I'M IN GRADUATE SCHOOL.I'M WORKIN' PART TIME, WOMAN.
  • 00:24:18.480 --> 00:24:19.314
  • I'M WORKIN' PART TIME, WOMAN.THAT'S YOUR JOB."
  • 00:24:19.381 --> 00:24:20.549
  • THAT'S YOUR JOB."[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:24:20.615 --> 00:24:21.283
  • [LAUGHTER]OH, I WISH I'D HAVE READ
  • 00:24:21.349 --> 00:24:24.386
  • OH, I WISH I'D HAVE READTHIS BOOK.
  • 00:24:24.452 --> 00:24:28.256
  • THIS BOOK.WISH I'D HAVE READ THIS
  • 00:24:28.323 --> 00:24:28.990
  • WISH I'D HAVE READ THISBOOK BEFORE I GOT MARRIED.
  • 00:24:29.057 --> 00:24:30.692
  • BOOK BEFORE I GOT MARRIED.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:24:30.759 --> 00:24:31.192
  • [LAUGHTER]- LAURIE: WISH YOU
  • 00:24:31.259 --> 00:24:31.660
  • - LAURIE: WISH YOUWOULD'VE HAD THAT.
  • 00:24:31.726 --> 00:24:32.093
  • WOULD'VE HAD THAT.- MATT: I'M GONNA
  • 00:24:32.160 --> 00:24:32.594
  • - MATT: I'M GONNARECOMMEND A BOOK TO YOU,
  • 00:24:32.661 --> 00:24:33.261
  • RECOMMEND A BOOK TO YOU,DR. CHAPMAN.
  • 00:24:33.328 --> 00:24:33.762
  • DR. CHAPMAN.IT'S CALLED "5 LOVE
  • 00:24:33.828 --> 00:24:34.262
  • IT'S CALLED "5 LOVELANGUAGES."
  • 00:24:34.329 --> 00:24:35.931
  • LANGUAGES."[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:24:35.997 --> 00:24:36.331
  • - TOM NEWMAN: HELLO,
  • 00:24:37.032 --> 00:24:37.465
  • - TOM NEWMAN: HELLO,FRIENDS.
  • 00:24:37.532 --> 00:24:37.999
  • FRIENDS.A WHILE BACK, I FOUND
  • 00:24:38.066 --> 00:24:39.000
  • A WHILE BACK, I FOUNDMYSELF IN MOSCOW WITH MATT
  • 00:24:39.067 --> 00:24:39.901
  • MYSELF IN MOSCOW WITH MATTAND LAURIE CROUCH.
  • 00:24:39.968 --> 00:24:41.069
  • IT WAS A SCENE THAT I WILL
  • 00:24:41.736 --> 00:24:43.305
  • IT WAS A SCENE THAT I WILLNEVER FORGET.
  • 00:24:43.371 --> 00:24:43.805
  • NEVER FORGET.THERE I WAS WITH MATT
  • 00:24:43.872 --> 00:24:44.573
  • THERE I WAS WITH MATTINTERVIEWING THE FORMER
  • 00:24:44.639 --> 00:24:46.241
  • INTERVIEWING THE FORMERHEAD OF THE SOVIET UNION
  • 00:24:46.308 --> 00:24:47.909
  • HEAD OF THE SOVIET UNIONHIMSELF, MIKHAIL GORBACHEV.
  • 00:24:47.976 --> 00:24:50.779
  • HIMSELF, MIKHAIL GORBACHEV.WE SAT TOGETHER TALKING
  • 00:24:50.845 --> 00:24:51.446
  • WE SAT TOGETHER TALKINGFOR OVER TWO AND A HALF
  • 00:24:51.513 --> 00:24:52.781
  • FOR OVER TWO AND A HALFDAYS ABOUT THE HISTORY OF
  • 00:24:52.847 --> 00:24:54.349
  • DAYS ABOUT THE HISTORY OFTHE COLD WAR, THE
  • 00:24:54.416 --> 00:24:55.216
  • THE COLD WAR, THERELATIONSHIP OF OUR TWO
  • 00:24:55.283 --> 00:24:57.052
  • RELATIONSHIP OF OUR TWOCOUNTRIES, AND FAITH.
  • 00:24:57.118 --> 00:24:58.286
  • COUNTRIES, AND FAITH.AND AT ONE POINT, MATT
  • 00:24:58.353 --> 00:25:00.021
  • AND AT ONE POINT, MATTASKED PRESIDENT GORBACHEV,
  • 00:25:00.088 --> 00:25:02.824
  • ASKED PRESIDENT GORBACHEV,POINT-BLANK, "SIR, DO YOU
  • 00:25:02.891 --> 00:25:04.192
  • POINT-BLANK, "SIR, DO YOUBELIEVE IT WAS GOD'S WILL
  • 00:25:04.259 --> 00:25:05.293
  • BELIEVE IT WAS GOD'S WILLTHAT YOU AND PRESIDENT
  • 00:25:05.360 --> 00:25:06.461
  • THAT YOU AND PRESIDENTREAGAN CAME TO POWER AT
  • 00:25:06.528 --> 00:25:07.228
  • REAGAN CAME TO POWER ATTHE SAME TIME?"
  • 00:25:07.295 --> 00:25:09.364
  • THE SAME TIME?"HIS ANSWER, "DA," WHICH
  • 00:25:09.431 --> 00:25:10.231
  • HIS ANSWER, "DA," WHICHMEANS, "YES."
  • 00:25:10.298 --> 00:25:11.533
  • MEANS, "YES."AND WITH THAT, HE BOLDLY
  • 00:25:11.600 --> 00:25:14.169
  • AND WITH THAT, HE BOLDLYPROCLAIMED HIS BELIEF
  • 00:25:14.235 --> 00:25:15.370
  • PROCLAIMED HIS BELIEFIN GOD'S SOVEREIGNTY.
  • 00:25:15.437 --> 00:25:17.472
  • IN GOD'S SOVEREIGNTY.THAT HISTORIC EXPERIENCE
  • 00:25:17.539 --> 00:25:19.841
  • THAT HISTORIC EXPERIENCEREMINDED ME JUST HOW
  • 00:25:19.908 --> 00:25:20.408
  • REMINDED ME JUST HOWPOWERFUL TBN'S MISSION IS.
  • 00:25:20.475 --> 00:25:23.378
  • POWERFUL TBN'S MISSION IS.WE'RE BROADCASTING THE
  • 00:25:23.445 --> 00:25:25.380
  • WE'RE BROADCASTING THEMESSAGE OF THE GOSPEL
  • 00:25:25.447 --> 00:25:27.048
  • MESSAGE OF THE GOSPELACROSS THE WORLD SO
  • 00:25:27.115 --> 00:25:28.984
  • ACROSS THE WORLD SOEVERYONE WILL HEAR, EVEN
  • 00:25:29.050 --> 00:25:30.185
  • EVERYONE WILL HEAR, EVENIN NATIONS WHERE THE GOOD
  • 00:25:30.251 --> 00:25:30.885
  • IN NATIONS WHERE THE GOODNEWS CANNOT BE OPENLY
  • 00:25:30.952 --> 00:25:32.954
  • NEWS CANNOT BE OPENLYPROCLAIMED.
  • 00:25:33.021 --> 00:25:34.255
  • FRIENDS, WHEN YOU SUPPORT
  • 00:25:35.023 --> 00:25:36.658
  • FRIENDS, WHEN YOU SUPPORTTBN, YOU ARE LITERALLY
  • 00:25:36.725 --> 00:25:37.225
  • TBN, YOU ARE LITERALLYHELPING CHANGE THE ENTIRE
  • 00:25:37.292 --> 00:25:38.526
  • HELPING CHANGE THE ENTIREWORLD WITH THE LOVE OF
  • 00:25:38.593 --> 00:25:39.861
  • WORLD WITH THE LOVE OFCHRIST, AND WE'D LIKE TO
  • 00:25:39.928 --> 00:25:41.396
  • CHRIST, AND WE'D LIKE TOINVITE YOU TO PARTNER WITH
  • 00:25:41.463 --> 00:25:42.664
  • INVITE YOU TO PARTNER WITHOUR MISSION.
  • 00:25:42.731 --> 00:25:43.865
  • OUR MISSION.AS OUR WAY OF SAYING THANK
  • 00:25:43.932 --> 00:25:45.600
  • AS OUR WAY OF SAYING THANKYOU FOR YOUR GIFT OF ANY
  • 00:25:45.667 --> 00:25:47.502
  • YOU FOR YOUR GIFT OF ANYAMOUNT THIS MONTH, WE'LL
  • 00:25:47.569 --> 00:25:48.236
  • AMOUNT THIS MONTH, WE'LLSEND YOU "LOVE LIKE THAT:
  • 00:25:48.303 --> 00:25:49.838
  • SEND YOU "LOVE LIKE THAT:RELATIONSHIP SECRETS FROM
  • 00:25:49.904 --> 00:25:52.073
  • RELATIONSHIP SECRETS FROMJESUS," BY LES PARROTT.
  • 00:25:52.140 --> 00:25:53.475
  • JESUS," BY LES PARROTT.- LES PARROTT: IF YOU
  • 00:25:53.541 --> 00:25:54.309
  • - LES PARROTT: IF YOUWANNA LOVE LIKE JESUS,
  • 00:25:54.376 --> 00:25:55.777
  • WANNA LOVE LIKE JESUS,YOU'VE GOT TO SEE WHAT
  • 00:25:55.844 --> 00:25:58.313
  • YOU'VE GOT TO SEE WHATOTHER PEOPLE DON'T SEE.
  • 00:25:58.380 --> 00:25:58.980
  • OTHER PEOPLE DON'T SEE.- MATT: THERE YOU GO.
  • 00:25:59.047 --> 00:25:59.714
  • - MATT: THERE YOU GO.- LES: THAT KIND OF
  • 00:25:59.781 --> 00:26:00.715
  • - LES: THAT KIND OFMINDFULNESS IS KIND OF THE
  • 00:26:00.782 --> 00:26:01.249
  • MINDFULNESS IS KIND OF THEFIRST ON-RAMP TO LOVING
  • 00:26:01.316 --> 00:26:02.751
  • FIRST ON-RAMP TO LOVINGLIKE JESUS.
  • 00:26:02.817 --> 00:26:03.752
  • LIKE JESUS.- TOM: WE'LL ALSO ENCLOSE
  • 00:26:03.818 --> 00:26:04.486
  • - TOM: WE'LL ALSO ENCLOSETHE ICONIC BOOK
  • 00:26:04.552 --> 00:26:06.421
  • THE ICONIC BOOK"THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES,"
  • 00:26:06.488 --> 00:26:07.522
  • "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES,"BY GARY CHAPMAN,
  • 00:26:07.589 --> 00:26:08.723
  • BY GARY CHAPMAN,THAT TEACHES COUPLES HOW
  • 00:26:08.790 --> 00:26:09.858
  • THAT TEACHES COUPLES HOWTO FALL IN LOVE AND
  • 00:26:09.924 --> 00:26:11.493
  • TO FALL IN LOVE ANDTO STAY IN LOVE.
  • 00:26:11.559 --> 00:26:13.561
  • TO STAY IN LOVE.- DR. CHAPMAN: BECAUSE
  • 00:26:13.628 --> 00:26:14.162
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: BECAUSEIT'S IN MY RELATIONSHIP
  • 00:26:14.229 --> 00:26:17.065
  • IT'S IN MY RELATIONSHIPWITH CHRIST THAT GAVE ME
  • 00:26:17.132 --> 00:26:18.333
  • WITH CHRIST THAT GAVE METHE DESIRE TO LOVE MY WIFE
  • 00:26:18.400 --> 00:26:19.234
  • THE DESIRE TO LOVE MY WIFEAND NOT TO ASSUME THAT I
  • 00:26:19.300 --> 00:26:20.001
  • AND NOT TO ASSUME THAT IKNOW WHAT MAKES HER FEEL
  • 00:26:20.068 --> 00:26:20.735
  • KNOW WHAT MAKES HER FEELLOVED.
  • 00:26:20.802 --> 00:26:21.636
  • LOVED.- TOM: BOTH RUNAWAY
  • 00:26:21.703 --> 00:26:22.237
  • - TOM: BOTH RUNAWAYBEST-SELLERS ARE YOURS
  • 00:26:22.303 --> 00:26:23.538
  • BEST-SELLERS ARE YOURSWITH OUR APPRECIATION FOR
  • 00:26:23.605 --> 00:26:24.939
  • WITH OUR APPRECIATION FORA GIFT OF $35 OR MORE.
  • 00:26:25.006 --> 00:26:27.242
  • A GIFT OF $35 OR MORE.SO, FRIENDS, WE'RE
  • 00:26:27.308 --> 00:26:28.843
  • SO, FRIENDS, WE'REGRATEFUL FOR YOUR
  • 00:26:28.910 --> 00:26:29.811
  • GRATEFUL FOR YOURPARTNERSHIP.
  • 00:26:29.878 --> 00:26:31.713
  • PARTNERSHIP.OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY
  • 00:26:31.780 --> 00:26:32.347
  • OPERATORS ARE STANDING BYRIGHT NOW.
  • 00:26:32.414 --> 00:26:32.814
  • RIGHT NOW.PLEASE DON'T DELAY, BUT
  • 00:26:32.881 --> 00:26:33.348
  • PLEASE DON'T DELAY, BUTCALL US.
  • 00:26:33.415 --> 00:26:34.282
  • CALL US.THANK YOU.
  • 00:26:34.349 --> 00:26:35.383
  • - MATT: RECEIVING GIFTS
  • 00:26:36.084 --> 00:26:37.018
  • - MATT: RECEIVING GIFTSIS NUMBER THREE.
  • 00:26:37.085 --> 00:26:37.585
  • IS NUMBER THREE.- DR. CHAPMAN: IT'S
  • 00:26:37.652 --> 00:26:38.253
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: IT'SUNIVERSAL TO GIVE GIFTS AS
  • 00:26:38.319 --> 00:26:39.688
  • UNIVERSAL TO GIVE GIFTS ASAN EXPRESSION OF LOVE.
  • 00:26:39.754 --> 00:26:42.123
  • AN EXPRESSION OF LOVE.THE GIFT SAYS, "THEY WERE
  • 00:26:42.190 --> 00:26:43.958
  • THE GIFT SAYS, "THEY WERETHINKING ABOUT ME.
  • 00:26:44.025 --> 00:26:45.026
  • THINKING ABOUT ME.LOOK WHAT THEY GOT FOR ME."
  • 00:26:45.093 --> 00:26:46.761
  • LOOK WHAT THEY GOT FOR ME."THE GIFT DOESN'T HAVE
  • 00:26:46.828 --> 00:26:48.396
  • THE GIFT DOESN'T HAVETO BE EXPENSIVE.
  • 00:26:48.463 --> 00:26:49.431
  • TO BE EXPENSIVE.WE'VE ALWAYS SAID, "IT'S
  • 00:26:49.497 --> 00:26:51.366
  • WE'VE ALWAYS SAID, "IT'STHE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS,"
  • 00:26:51.433 --> 00:26:53.768
  • THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS,"BUT I LIKE TO REMIND
  • 00:26:53.835 --> 00:26:54.703
  • BUT I LIKE TO REMINDPEOPLE IT'S NOT THE
  • 00:26:54.769 --> 00:26:57.405
  • PEOPLE IT'S NOT THETHOUGHT LEFT IN YOUR HEAD
  • 00:26:57.472 --> 00:26:57.939
  • THOUGHT LEFT IN YOUR HEADTHAT COUNTS.
  • 00:26:58.006 --> 00:26:58.506
  • THAT COUNTS.IT'S THE GIFT THAT CAME
  • 00:26:58.573 --> 00:26:59.074
  • IT'S THE GIFT THAT CAMEOUT OF THE THOUGHT IN YOUR
  • 00:26:59.140 --> 00:26:59.674
  • OUT OF THE THOUGHT IN YOURHEAD.
  • 00:26:59.741 --> 00:27:00.275
  • HEAD.YOU KNOW, I SAY TO GUYS,
  • 00:27:00.341 --> 00:27:01.176
  • YOU KNOW, I SAY TO GUYS,"YOU CAN GET FLOWERS FREE
  • 00:27:01.242 --> 00:27:03.411
  • "YOU CAN GET FLOWERS FREEIN THE SPRING AND SUMMER.
  • 00:27:03.478 --> 00:27:05.146
  • IN THE SPRING AND SUMMER.JUST GO OUT IN YOUR
  • 00:27:05.213 --> 00:27:06.815
  • JUST GO OUT IN YOURBACKYARD AND PICK ONE.
  • 00:27:06.881 --> 00:27:08.283
  • BACKYARD AND PICK ONE.THAT'S WHAT YOUR KIDS DO."
  • 00:27:08.349 --> 00:27:10.218
  • THAT'S WHAT YOUR KIDS DO."MOST MOTHERS HAVE RECEIVED
  • 00:27:10.285 --> 00:27:11.286
  • MOST MOTHERS HAVE RECEIVEDA DANDELION FROM THEIR KIDS.
  • 00:27:11.352 --> 00:27:12.287
  • A DANDELION FROM THEIR KIDS.- LAURIE: YEAH.
  • 00:27:12.353 --> 00:27:13.121
  • - LAURIE: YEAH.- DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,
  • 00:27:13.188 --> 00:27:14.289
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,"JUST GO OUT IN YOUR
  • 00:27:14.355 --> 00:27:14.789
  • "JUST GO OUT IN YOURBACKYARD.
  • 00:27:14.856 --> 00:27:15.757
  • BACKYARD.YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FLOWERS
  • 00:27:15.824 --> 00:27:16.424
  • YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FLOWERSIN YOUR BACKYARD?
  • 00:27:16.491 --> 00:27:17.392
  • IN YOUR BACKYARD?CHECK OUT YOUR NEIGHBOR'S
  • 00:27:17.459 --> 00:27:19.194
  • CHECK OUT YOUR NEIGHBOR'SYARD.
  • 00:27:19.260 --> 00:27:19.694
  • YARD.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:27:19.761 --> 00:27:20.228
  • [LAUGHTER]ASK THEM.
  • 00:27:20.295 --> 00:27:20.762
  • ASK THEM.DON'T STEAL THEM.
  • 00:27:20.829 --> 00:27:21.362
  • DON'T STEAL THEM.ASK THEM."
  • 00:27:21.429 --> 00:27:22.130
  • ASK THEM."[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:27:22.197 --> 00:27:23.264
  • [LAUGHTER]YOU KNOW, MY ACADEMIC
  • 00:27:23.331 --> 00:27:26.134
  • YOU KNOW, MY ACADEMICBACKGROUND, BEFORE I
  • 00:27:26.201 --> 00:27:28.603
  • BACKGROUND, BEFORE ISTUDIED COUNSELING AND
  • 00:27:28.670 --> 00:27:29.304
  • STUDIED COUNSELING ANDTHEOLOGY, WAS
  • 00:27:29.370 --> 00:27:29.804
  • THEOLOGY, WASANTHROPOLOGY.
  • 00:27:29.871 --> 00:27:31.106
  • ANTHROPOLOGY.I DID AN UNDERGRAD AND A
  • 00:27:31.172 --> 00:27:31.706
  • I DID AN UNDERGRAD AND AMASTER'S IN CULTURAL
  • 00:27:31.773 --> 00:27:32.674
  • MASTER'S IN CULTURALANTHROPOLOGY, THE STUDY OF
  • 00:27:32.741 --> 00:27:33.441
  • ANTHROPOLOGY, THE STUDY OFCULTURES.
  • 00:27:33.508 --> 00:27:34.476
  • CULTURES.IT'S UNIVERSAL.
  • 00:27:34.542 --> 00:27:35.977
  • IT'S UNIVERSAL.THERE ARE NO CULTURES
  • 00:27:36.044 --> 00:27:37.312
  • THERE ARE NO CULTURESWHERE PEOPLE DON'T GIVE
  • 00:27:37.378 --> 00:27:39.180
  • WHERE PEOPLE DON'T GIVEGIFTS AS AN EXPRESSION OF
  • 00:27:39.247 --> 00:27:39.748
  • GIFTS AS AN EXPRESSION OFLOVE.
  • 00:27:39.814 --> 00:27:40.548
  • LOVE.- MATT: MY GOODNESS.
  • 00:27:40.615 --> 00:27:41.116
  • - MATT: MY GOODNESS.- DR. CHAPMAN: AND, FOR
  • 00:27:41.182 --> 00:27:42.350
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: AND, FORSOME PEOPLE, THIS IS VERY,
  • 00:27:42.417 --> 00:27:43.084
  • SOME PEOPLE, THIS IS VERY,VERY MEANINGFUL, AND FOR
  • 00:27:43.151 --> 00:27:43.618
  • VERY MEANINGFUL, AND FOROTHER PEOPLE, IT'S NOT ON
  • 00:27:43.685 --> 00:27:44.552
  • OTHER PEOPLE, IT'S NOT ONTHE TOP LIST.
  • 00:27:44.619 --> 00:27:45.687
  • THE TOP LIST.- LAURIE: SO, FOR
  • 00:27:45.754 --> 00:27:46.721
  • - LAURIE: SO, FORINSTANCE-- HAS NOTHING TO
  • 00:27:46.788 --> 00:27:48.223
  • INSTANCE-- HAS NOTHING TODO WITH US.
  • 00:27:48.289 --> 00:27:50.792
  • DO WITH US.YOU COULD BE IN A MARRIAGE
  • 00:27:50.859 --> 00:27:52.360
  • YOU COULD BE IN A MARRIAGEWHERE, IF SHE'S JUST A
  • 00:27:52.427 --> 00:27:56.331
  • WHERE, IF SHE'S JUST AHORRIBLE PERSON, HAS DONE
  • 00:27:56.397 --> 00:27:57.165
  • HORRIBLE PERSON, HAS DONESOMETHING WRONG, WOULD
  • 00:27:57.232 --> 00:27:58.500
  • SOMETHING WRONG, WOULDBRING YOU SOMETHING, AND
  • 00:27:58.566 --> 00:27:59.567
  • BRING YOU SOMETHING, ANDYOU JUST WANT HER TO SAY
  • 00:27:59.634 --> 00:28:00.301
  • YOU JUST WANT HER TO SAYYOU'RE SORRY?
  • 00:28:00.368 --> 00:28:02.070
  • YOU'RE SORRY?- DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,
  • 00:28:02.137 --> 00:28:03.304
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,WELL, THAT IS A CULTURAL
  • 00:28:03.371 --> 00:28:05.206
  • WELL, THAT IS A CULTURALPHENOMENON IN CHINA.
  • 00:28:05.273 --> 00:28:07.776
  • PHENOMENON IN CHINA.I LEARNED THIS WHEN I WAS
  • 00:28:07.842 --> 00:28:09.043
  • I LEARNED THIS WHEN I WASIN CHINA THAT, IF THEY
  • 00:28:09.110 --> 00:28:09.944
  • IN CHINA THAT, IF THEYHAVE WRONGED SOMEONE, ONE
  • 00:28:10.011 --> 00:28:12.380
  • HAVE WRONGED SOMEONE, ONEOF THE THINGS THEY DO IS
  • 00:28:12.447 --> 00:28:12.881
  • OF THE THINGS THEY DO ISTHEY GO BUY A GIFT, AND
  • 00:28:12.947 --> 00:28:14.082
  • THEY GO BUY A GIFT, ANDTHEY GO GIVE IT TO THE
  • 00:28:14.149 --> 00:28:14.916
  • THEY GO GIVE IT TO THEPERSON WITHOUT SAYING
  • 00:28:14.983 --> 00:28:16.284
  • PERSON WITHOUT SAYINGANYTHING BECAUSE IT'S A
  • 00:28:16.351 --> 00:28:17.185
  • ANYTHING BECAUSE IT'S ASHAME CULTURE.
  • 00:28:17.252 --> 00:28:17.819
  • SHAME CULTURE.THEY DON'T WANNA HAVE
  • 00:28:17.886 --> 00:28:18.987
  • THEY DON'T WANNA HAVESHAME OF HAVING FAILED.
  • 00:28:19.053 --> 00:28:20.221
  • SHAME OF HAVING FAILED.AND IF IT WORKS, IT WORKS,
  • 00:28:20.288 --> 00:28:21.556
  • AND IF IT WORKS, IT WORKS,YOU KNOW, BUT I THINK IT'S
  • 00:28:21.623 --> 00:28:24.325
  • YOU KNOW, BUT I THINK IT'SNOT GIVING GIFTS TO
  • 00:28:24.392 --> 00:28:26.094
  • NOT GIVING GIFTS TOAPPEASE THE OTHER PERSON.
  • 00:28:26.161 --> 00:28:27.896
  • APPEASE THE OTHER PERSON.IT'S GIVING GIFTS BECAUSE
  • 00:28:27.962 --> 00:28:28.496
  • IT'S GIVING GIFTS BECAUSEYOU LOVE THE OTHER PERSON,
  • 00:28:28.563 --> 00:28:30.064
  • YOU LOVE THE OTHER PERSON,AND YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS
  • 00:28:30.131 --> 00:28:30.665
  • AND YOU KNOW THAT THIS ISMEANINGFUL TO THEM, AND IT
  • 00:28:30.732 --> 00:28:31.800
  • MEANINGFUL TO THEM, AND ITHELPS, OBVIOUSLY, IF YOU
  • 00:28:31.866 --> 00:28:32.967
  • HELPS, OBVIOUSLY, IF YOUKNOW WHAT THEY'RE
  • 00:28:33.034 --> 00:28:34.202
  • KNOW WHAT THEY'REINTERESTED IN.
  • 00:28:34.269 --> 00:28:35.703
  • INTERESTED IN.YOU KNOW, IF THEY HAVE A
  • 00:28:35.770 --> 00:28:37.372
  • YOU KNOW, IF THEY HAVE ASPECIAL CANDY BAR AND YOU
  • 00:28:37.438 --> 00:28:38.273
  • SPECIAL CANDY BAR AND YOUGO TO THE GROCERY STORE,
  • 00:28:38.339 --> 00:28:39.607
  • GO TO THE GROCERY STORE,AND YOU JUST BRING HOME
  • 00:28:39.674 --> 00:28:40.175
  • AND YOU JUST BRING HOMETHAT CANDY BAR AND SAY,
  • 00:28:40.241 --> 00:28:42.043
  • THAT CANDY BAR AND SAY,"HONEY, I WAS THINKIN'
  • 00:28:42.110 --> 00:28:42.744
  • "HONEY, I WAS THINKIN'ABOUT YOU," THAT MEANS A
  • 00:28:42.811 --> 00:28:43.378
  • ABOUT YOU," THAT MEANS ALOT TO THEM.
  • 00:28:43.444 --> 00:28:44.279
  • LOT TO THEM.IF YOU KNOW THEY COLLECT
  • 00:28:44.345 --> 00:28:45.947
  • IF YOU KNOW THEY COLLECTCERTAIN THINGS, AND YOU'RE
  • 00:28:46.014 --> 00:28:48.016
  • CERTAIN THINGS, AND YOU'RETRAVELING, AND YOU FIND
  • 00:28:48.082 --> 00:28:48.516
  • TRAVELING, AND YOU FINDSOMETHIN' THEY'RE
  • 00:28:48.583 --> 00:28:49.017
  • SOMETHIN' THEY'RECOLLECTING, AND YOU-- SO
  • 00:28:49.083 --> 00:28:49.584
  • COLLECTING, AND YOU-- SOMEANINGFUL GIFTS IS-- YOU
  • 00:28:49.651 --> 00:28:50.485
  • MEANINGFUL GIFTS IS-- YOUHAVE TO KNOW THE PERSON TO
  • 00:28:50.552 --> 00:28:51.686
  • HAVE TO KNOW THE PERSON TOKNOW WHAT WOULD BE
  • 00:28:51.753 --> 00:28:52.287
  • KNOW WHAT WOULD BEMEANINGFUL TO THEM.
  • 00:28:52.353 --> 00:28:54.389
  • MEANINGFUL TO THEM.- MATT: WHAT IS GIVING A
  • 00:28:54.455 --> 00:28:56.224
  • - MATT: WHAT IS GIVING AGIFT REALLY SAYING?
  • 00:28:56.291 --> 00:28:57.458
  • GIFT REALLY SAYING?IS IT JUST THAT SOME
  • 00:28:57.525 --> 00:28:58.593
  • IS IT JUST THAT SOMEPEOPLE ARE WIRED THAT IT'S
  • 00:28:58.660 --> 00:29:00.328
  • PEOPLE ARE WIRED THAT IT'SNOT-- IT COULDN'T BE JUST
  • 00:29:00.395 --> 00:29:02.697
  • NOT-- IT COULDN'T BE JUSTTHAT I WANT MORE STUFF.
  • 00:29:02.764 --> 00:29:05.667
  • THAT I WANT MORE STUFF.WHAT'S A GIFT-GIVING
  • 00:29:05.733 --> 00:29:07.135
  • WHAT'S A GIFT-GIVINGREALLY SAYING TO THE
  • 00:29:07.202 --> 00:29:09.103
  • REALLY SAYING TO THEPERSON WHOSE LANGUAGE IS
  • 00:29:09.170 --> 00:29:11.506
  • PERSON WHOSE LANGUAGE ISRECEIVING GIFTS?
  • 00:29:11.573 --> 00:29:14.242
  • RECEIVING GIFTS?- DR. CHAPMAN: I THINK
  • 00:29:14.309 --> 00:29:16.744
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: I THINKIT'S SIMPLY THE FACT THAT
  • 00:29:16.811 --> 00:29:18.179
  • IT'S SIMPLY THE FACT THAT"YOU HAD TO THINK ABOUT ME
  • 00:29:18.246 --> 00:29:20.348
  • "YOU HAD TO THINK ABOUT METO DO THIS."
  • 00:29:20.415 --> 00:29:20.815
  • TO DO THIS."- MATT: OKAY.
  • 00:29:20.882 --> 00:29:21.449
  • - MATT: OKAY.- DR. CHAPMAN: "WHEN WE
  • 00:29:21.516 --> 00:29:22.717
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: "WHEN WEWERE AWAY, YOU WERE
  • 00:29:22.784 --> 00:29:23.318
  • WERE AWAY, YOU WERETHINKIN' ABOUT ME."
  • 00:29:23.384 --> 00:29:23.918
  • THINKIN' ABOUT ME."NOW, YOU KNOW, WE HAVE
  • 00:29:23.985 --> 00:29:24.586
  • NOW, YOU KNOW, WE HAVETRADITIONS THAT KIND OF
  • 00:29:24.652 --> 00:29:25.153
  • TRADITIONS THAT KIND OFFORCE US TO GIVE GIFTS
  • 00:29:25.220 --> 00:29:25.854
  • FORCE US TO GIVE GIFTSDURING THE CHRISTMASTIME,
  • 00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:27.088
  • DURING THE CHRISTMASTIME,ON BIRTHDAYS AND
  • 00:29:27.155 --> 00:29:27.856
  • ON BIRTHDAYS ANDVALENTINE'S DAY, AND THAT
  • 00:29:27.922 --> 00:29:28.723
  • VALENTINE'S DAY, AND THATSORT OF THING, AND WE
  • 00:29:28.790 --> 00:29:30.024
  • SORT OF THING, AND WEJUST-- WE KIND OF JUST DO
  • 00:29:30.091 --> 00:29:30.859
  • JUST-- WE KIND OF JUST DOTHAT AS A PART OF OUR
  • 00:29:30.925 --> 00:29:33.127
  • THAT AS A PART OF OURCULTURE, BUT IF THIS IS
  • 00:29:33.194 --> 00:29:34.295
  • CULTURE, BUT IF THIS ISTHE PERSON'S PRIMARY LOVE
  • 00:29:34.362 --> 00:29:36.297
  • THE PERSON'S PRIMARY LOVELANGUAGE, WHAT IT SAYS TO
  • 00:29:36.364 --> 00:29:37.232
  • LANGUAGE, WHAT IT SAYS TOTHEM IS THAT YOU'VE GOT
  • 00:29:37.298 --> 00:29:39.567
  • THEM IS THAT YOU'VE GOTTHEM ON YOUR HEART.
  • 00:29:39.634 --> 00:29:41.736
  • THEM ON YOUR HEART.YOU'VE GOT THEM IN YOUR MIND.
  • 00:29:41.803 --> 00:29:42.770
  • YOU'VE GOT THEM IN YOUR MIND.YOU HAD TO BE THINKIN'
  • 00:29:42.837 --> 00:29:43.972
  • YOU HAD TO BE THINKIN'ABOUT THEM TO GET ANYTHING
  • 00:29:44.038 --> 00:29:46.875
  • ABOUT THEM TO GET ANYTHINGAND BRING AND GIVE IT TO
  • 00:29:46.941 --> 00:29:47.542
  • AND BRING AND GIVE IT TOTHEM.
  • 00:29:47.609 --> 00:29:48.176
  • THEM.IT'S JUST IT MAKES THEM
  • 00:29:48.243 --> 00:29:49.110
  • IT'S JUST IT MAKES THEMFEEL LOVED JUST LIKE WORDS
  • 00:29:49.177 --> 00:29:49.944
  • FEEL LOVED JUST LIKE WORDSOF AFFIRMATION MAKES
  • 00:29:50.011 --> 00:29:51.112
  • OF AFFIRMATION MAKESANOTHER PERSON FEEL LOVED.
  • 00:29:51.179 --> 00:29:52.280
  • ANOTHER PERSON FEEL LOVED.- MATT: GOT IT, OKAY.
  • 00:29:52.347 --> 00:29:53.281
  • - MATT: GOT IT, OKAY.QUALITY TIME.
  • 00:29:53.348 --> 00:29:54.048
  • QUALITY TIME.WHAT IS IT?
  • 00:29:54.115 --> 00:29:55.083
  • WHAT IS IT?HOW DO YOU DEFINE IT FOR
  • 00:29:55.149 --> 00:29:58.253
  • HOW DO YOU DEFINE IT FORUS SO THAT WE KIND OF,
  • 00:29:58.319 --> 00:30:00.889
  • US SO THAT WE KIND OF,YOU KNOW, HAVE SOME RULES
  • 00:30:00.955 --> 00:30:01.589
  • YOU KNOW, HAVE SOME RULESHERE?
  • 00:30:01.656 --> 00:30:03.591
  • HERE?- DR. CHAPMAN: IT'S
  • 00:30:03.658 --> 00:30:04.158
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: IT'SGIVING THE OTHER PERSON
  • 00:30:04.225 --> 00:30:05.260
  • GIVING THE OTHER PERSONYOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.
  • 00:30:05.326 --> 00:30:08.663
  • YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.- MATT: THERE YOU GO.
  • 00:30:08.730 --> 00:30:09.697
  • - MATT: THERE YOU GO.- DR. CHAPMAN: IT IS NOT
  • 00:30:09.764 --> 00:30:10.732
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: IT IS NOTSITTING ON THE COUCH,
  • 00:30:10.798 --> 00:30:12.066
  • SITTING ON THE COUCH,WATCHIN' THIS TV PROGRAM--
  • 00:30:12.133 --> 00:30:13.301
  • WATCHIN' THIS TV PROGRAM--- LAURIE: RIGHT.
  • 00:30:13.368 --> 00:30:13.835
  • - LAURIE: RIGHT.- MATT: OKAY.
  • 00:30:13.902 --> 00:30:14.936
  • - MATT: OKAY.- DR. CHAPMAN: -- BECAUSE
  • 00:30:15.003 --> 00:30:15.803
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: -- BECAUSEWE HAVE THEIR ATTENTION.
  • 00:30:15.870 --> 00:30:17.438
  • WE HAVE THEIR ATTENTION.- MATT: GOT IT.
  • 00:30:17.505 --> 00:30:18.072
  • - MATT: GOT IT.- DR. CHAPMAN: THE TV IS OFF.
  • 00:30:18.139 --> 00:30:19.741
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: THE TV IS OFF.THE COMPUTER IS DOWN.
  • 00:30:19.807 --> 00:30:21.075
  • THE COMPUTER IS DOWN.WE'RE NOT ANSWERING OUR PHONE.
  • 00:30:21.142 --> 00:30:22.143
  • WE'RE NOT ANSWERING OUR PHONE.WE'RE SITTING ON THE
  • 00:30:22.210 --> 00:30:23.144
  • WE'RE SITTING ON THECOUCH, LOOKING AT EACH
  • 00:30:23.211 --> 00:30:24.178
  • COUCH, LOOKING AT EACHOTHER AND TALKING TO EACH
  • 00:30:24.245 --> 00:30:27.649
  • OTHER AND TALKING TO EACHOTHER,
  • 00:30:27.715 --> 00:30:28.082
  • OR WE CAN BE TAKIN' A WALK
  • 00:30:28.616 --> 00:30:29.117
  • OR WE CAN BE TAKIN' A WALKTOGETHER DOWN THE ROAD AND
  • 00:30:29.183 --> 00:30:30.084
  • TOGETHER DOWN THE ROAD ANDTALKING OR GOING OUT TO
  • 00:30:30.151 --> 00:30:30.718
  • TALKING OR GOING OUT TOEAT, ASSUMING THAT WE TALK.
  • 00:30:30.785 --> 00:30:33.187
  • EAT, ASSUMING THAT WE TALK.WE'VE ALL SEEN COUPLES IN
  • 00:30:33.254 --> 00:30:36.891
  • WE'VE ALL SEEN COUPLES INRESTAURANTS ACROSS THE
  • 00:30:36.958 --> 00:30:38.960
  • RESTAURANTS ACROSS THETABLE FROM EACH OTHER.
  • 00:30:39.027 --> 00:30:41.229
  • TABLE FROM EACH OTHER.THEY'VE BOTH GOT THEIR
  • 00:30:41.296 --> 00:30:41.930
  • THEY'VE BOTH GOT THEIRPHONES AND LOOKIN' DOWN AT
  • 00:30:41.996 --> 00:30:42.797
  • PHONES AND LOOKIN' DOWN ATTHE SCREEN.
  • 00:30:42.864 --> 00:30:43.398
  • THE SCREEN.NOW, MAYBE THEY'RE FINDING
  • 00:30:43.464 --> 00:30:44.198
  • NOW, MAYBE THEY'RE FINDINGSOMETHING THEY WANNA SHARE
  • 00:30:44.265 --> 00:30:45.733
  • SOMETHING THEY WANNA SHAREWITH THE OTHER PERSON.
  • 00:30:45.800 --> 00:30:46.834
  • WITH THE OTHER PERSON.THAT'S LEGITIMATE, BUT
  • 00:30:46.901 --> 00:30:47.402
  • THAT'S LEGITIMATE, BUTMAYBE THEY'RE READING A
  • 00:30:47.468 --> 00:30:49.070
  • MAYBE THEY'RE READING ATEXT THAT SOMEBODY JUST
  • 00:30:49.137 --> 00:30:49.604
  • TEXT THAT SOMEBODY JUSTSENT THEM.
  • 00:30:49.671 --> 00:30:50.705
  • SENT THEM.YOU KNOW, THE PHONE
  • 00:30:50.772 --> 00:30:51.472
  • YOU KNOW, THE PHONEVIBRATED.
  • 00:30:51.539 --> 00:30:52.006
  • VIBRATED.THAT'S NOT QUALITY TIME.
  • 00:30:52.073 --> 00:30:53.274
  • THAT'S NOT QUALITY TIME.INCIDENTALLY, WHEN YOU
  • 00:30:53.341 --> 00:30:54.676
  • INCIDENTALLY, WHEN YOUAPPLY THIS TO CHILDREN,
  • 00:30:54.742 --> 00:30:56.911
  • THE CHILD WHO HAS QUALITY
  • 00:30:57.612 --> 00:30:58.813
  • THE CHILD WHO HAS QUALITYTIME AS THEIR LANGUAGE AND
  • 00:30:58.880 --> 00:31:00.515
  • TIME AS THEIR LANGUAGE ANDTHE PARENT IS TALKING WITH
  • 00:31:00.581 --> 00:31:01.749
  • THE PARENT IS TALKING WITHTHEM AND LISTENING TO
  • 00:31:01.816 --> 00:31:03.551
  • THEM AND LISTENING TOTHEM, AND THE PARENT'S
  • 00:31:03.618 --> 00:31:05.119
  • THEM, AND THE PARENT'STELEPHONE RINGS AND THEY
  • 00:31:05.186 --> 00:31:06.020
  • TELEPHONE RINGS AND THEYANSWER THE PHONE, THEY
  • 00:31:06.087 --> 00:31:07.622
  • ANSWER THE PHONE, THEYJUST COMMUNICATED TO THAT
  • 00:31:07.689 --> 00:31:09.090
  • JUST COMMUNICATED TO THATCHILD, "SOMEONE OUT THERE
  • 00:31:09.157 --> 00:31:11.426
  • CHILD, "SOMEONE OUT THEREIS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU ARE."
  • 00:31:11.492 --> 00:31:12.093
  • IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU ARE."IF THE CHILD'S
  • 00:31:12.160 --> 00:31:14.128
  • IF THE CHILD'SLANGUAGE IS QUALITY TIME,
  • 00:31:14.195 --> 00:31:15.029
  • LANGUAGE IS QUALITY TIME,YOU DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE.
  • 00:31:15.096 --> 00:31:16.531
  • YOU DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE.THAT'S WHAT VOICE MAIL IS
  • 00:31:16.597 --> 00:31:17.098
  • THAT'S WHAT VOICE MAIL ISFOR.
  • 00:31:17.165 --> 00:31:19.000
  • FOR.YOU GIVE THEM YOU
  • 00:31:19.067 --> 00:31:19.600
  • YOU GIVE THEM YOUUNDIVIDED ATTENTION.
  • 00:31:19.667 --> 00:31:21.736
  • UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.THIS IS MY DAUGHTER'S LOVE
  • 00:31:21.803 --> 00:31:22.570
  • THIS IS MY DAUGHTER'S LOVELANGUAGE-- QUALITY TIME.
  • 00:31:22.637 --> 00:31:23.972
  • LANGUAGE-- QUALITY TIME.AND, INCIDENTALLY, ON
  • 00:31:24.038 --> 00:31:25.907
  • AND, INCIDENTALLY, ONCHILDREN, YOU CAN FIGURE
  • 00:31:25.974 --> 00:31:27.408
  • CHILDREN, YOU CAN FIGUREOUT THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE
  • 00:31:27.475 --> 00:31:28.242
  • OUT THEIR LOVE LANGUAGEPRETTY EARLY BY OBSERVING
  • 00:31:28.309 --> 00:31:29.677
  • PRETTY EARLY BY OBSERVINGTHEIR BEHAVIOR.
  • 00:31:29.744 --> 00:31:30.178
  • THEIR BEHAVIOR.MY SON'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS
  • 00:31:30.244 --> 00:31:30.979
  • MY SON'S LOVE LANGUAGE ISPHYSICAL TOUCH.
  • 00:31:31.045 --> 00:31:31.779
  • PHYSICAL TOUCH.WHEN HE WAS ABOUT FOUR
  • 00:31:31.846 --> 00:31:33.748
  • WHEN HE WAS ABOUT FOURYEARS OLD, I'D COME HOME
  • 00:31:33.815 --> 00:31:34.816
  • YEARS OLD, I'D COME HOMEFROM WORK.
  • 00:31:34.882 --> 00:31:35.850
  • FROM WORK.HE'D RUN TO THE DOOR AND
  • 00:31:35.917 --> 00:31:37.318
  • HE'D RUN TO THE DOOR ANDGRAB MY LEGS AND CLIMB ON ME.
  • 00:31:37.385 --> 00:31:38.186
  • GRAB MY LEGS AND CLIMB ON ME.HE'S TOUCHING ME BECAUSE
  • 00:31:38.252 --> 00:31:39.354
  • HE'S TOUCHING ME BECAUSEHE WANTS TO BE TOUCHED.
  • 00:31:39.420 --> 00:31:40.288
  • HE WANTS TO BE TOUCHED.OUR DAUGHTER NEVER DID THAT.
  • 00:31:40.355 --> 00:31:41.756
  • OUR DAUGHTER NEVER DID THAT.SHE WOULD SAY, "DADDY,
  • 00:31:41.823 --> 00:31:42.724
  • SHE WOULD SAY, "DADDY,COME INTO MY ROOM.
  • 00:31:42.790 --> 00:31:43.591
  • COME INTO MY ROOM.I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHIN'."
  • 00:31:43.658 --> 00:31:44.459
  • I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHIN'."SHE WANTED QUALITY TIME.
  • 00:31:44.525 --> 00:31:45.994
  • SHE WANTED QUALITY TIME.SO WHETHER IT'S CHILDREN,
  • 00:31:46.060 --> 00:31:48.429
  • SO WHETHER IT'S CHILDREN,THE PARENT-CHILD, OR
  • 00:31:48.496 --> 00:31:49.530
  • THE PARENT-CHILD, ORWHETHER IT'S HUSBAND-WIFE,
  • 00:31:49.597 --> 00:31:50.098
  • WHETHER IT'S HUSBAND-WIFE,OR WHETHER IT'S A
  • 00:31:50.164 --> 00:31:51.799
  • OR WHETHER IT'S AFRIENDSHIP, CLOSE
  • 00:31:51.866 --> 00:31:52.300
  • FRIENDSHIP, CLOSEFRIENDSHIP, SINGLE ADULTS
  • 00:31:52.367 --> 00:31:53.501
  • FRIENDSHIP, SINGLE ADULTSAND THEIR DATING
  • 00:31:53.568 --> 00:31:55.103
  • AND THEIR DATINGRELATIONSHIPS, THIS CAN BE
  • 00:31:55.169 --> 00:31:55.670
  • RELATIONSHIPS, THIS CAN BEVERY, VERY HELPFUL.
  • 00:31:55.737 --> 00:31:57.138
  • VERY, VERY HELPFUL.SO, YEAH, THAT'S BASICALLY
  • 00:31:57.205 --> 00:31:59.173
  • SO, YEAH, THAT'S BASICALLYQUALITY TIME.
  • 00:31:59.240 --> 00:32:00.341
  • QUALITY TIME.- MATT: SO YOU PUT SOME
  • 00:32:00.408 --> 00:32:02.944
  • - MATT: SO YOU PUT SOMEVERY CLEAR, YOU KNOW, KIND
  • 00:32:03.011 --> 00:32:05.747
  • VERY CLEAR, YOU KNOW, KINDOF, DITCHES ON THE SIDE OF
  • 00:32:05.813 --> 00:32:07.148
  • OF, DITCHES ON THE SIDE OFTHE ROAD HERE.
  • 00:32:07.215 --> 00:32:08.883
  • THE ROAD HERE.QUALITY TIME IS NOT
  • 00:32:08.950 --> 00:32:11.686
  • QUALITY TIME IS NOTNECESSARILY SITTING
  • 00:32:11.753 --> 00:32:12.286
  • NECESSARILY SITTINGTOGETHER.
  • 00:32:12.353 --> 00:32:13.354
  • TOGETHER.FLYING ON AN AIRPLANE
  • 00:32:13.421 --> 00:32:14.288
  • FLYING ON AN AIRPLANETOGETHER, RIDING IN A CAR
  • 00:32:14.355 --> 00:32:16.290
  • TOGETHER, RIDING IN A CARTOGETHER DOESN'T MEAN IT'S
  • 00:32:16.357 --> 00:32:17.759
  • TOGETHER DOESN'T MEAN IT'SQUALITY TIME OR EVEN BEING
  • 00:32:17.825 --> 00:32:18.393
  • QUALITY TIME OR EVEN BEINGIN PROXIMITY.
  • 00:32:18.459 --> 00:32:20.061
  • IN PROXIMITY.IT HAS TO BE COMMUNICATING
  • 00:32:20.128 --> 00:32:22.196
  • IT HAS TO BE COMMUNICATINGONE TO ONE.
  • 00:32:22.263 --> 00:32:24.065
  • ONE TO ONE.- DR. CHAPMAN:
  • 00:32:24.132 --> 00:32:24.665
  • - DR. CHAPMAN:ABSOLUTELY.
  • 00:32:24.732 --> 00:32:25.533
  • ABSOLUTELY.BEING IN THE SAME HOUSE,
  • 00:32:25.600 --> 00:32:26.534
  • BEING IN THE SAME HOUSE,BEING IN THE SAME ROOM IS
  • 00:32:26.601 --> 00:32:27.468
  • BEING IN THE SAME ROOM ISNOT QUALITY TIME.
  • 00:32:27.535 --> 00:32:28.603
  • NOT QUALITY TIME.- MATT: GOT IT.
  • 00:32:28.669 --> 00:32:29.270
  • - MATT: GOT IT.- DR. CHAPMAN: YOU'RE
  • 00:32:29.337 --> 00:32:30.872
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: YOU'REEXACTLY RIGHT, AND I
  • 00:32:30.938 --> 00:32:32.273
  • EXACTLY RIGHT, AND ITHINK, YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE
  • 00:32:32.340 --> 00:32:32.807
  • THINK, YOU KNOW, IF YOU'REIN A SITUATION WHERE YOU
  • 00:32:32.874 --> 00:32:33.741
  • IN A SITUATION WHERE YOUARE ON CALL, YOU'RE A
  • 00:32:33.808 --> 00:32:34.675
  • ARE ON CALL, YOU'RE AMEDICAL DOCTOR OR
  • 00:32:34.742 --> 00:32:35.243
  • MEDICAL DOCTOR ORWHATEVER, SO YOU'RE ON
  • 00:32:35.309 --> 00:32:37.912
  • WHATEVER, SO YOU'RE ONCALL, YEAH, AND YOU'RE
  • 00:32:37.979 --> 00:32:39.280
  • CALL, YEAH, AND YOU'RETALKIN' TO THE KID, YOU
  • 00:32:39.347 --> 00:32:39.814
  • TALKIN' TO THE KID, YOUGOTTA ANSWER.
  • 00:32:39.881 --> 00:32:40.415
  • GOTTA ANSWER.YOU JUST SAY, "SON, THIS
  • 00:32:40.481 --> 00:32:41.082
  • YOU JUST SAY, "SON, THISIS IMPORTANT.
  • 00:32:41.149 --> 00:32:41.616
  • IS IMPORTANT.I HAVE TO DO THIS.
  • 00:32:41.682 --> 00:32:42.050
  • I HAVE TO DO THIS.THIS IS PART OF MY JOB."
  • 00:32:42.116 --> 00:32:42.717
  • THIS IS PART OF MY JOB."YOU KNOW, YOU EXPLAIN IT
  • 00:32:42.784 --> 00:32:43.384
  • YOU KNOW, YOU EXPLAIN ITTO THEM.
  • 00:32:43.451 --> 00:32:43.918
  • TO THEM.BUT I THINK, YOU KNOW,
  • 00:32:43.985 --> 00:32:46.320
  • BUT I THINK, YOU KNOW,HERE'S ONE OF THE THINGS I
  • 00:32:46.387 --> 00:32:46.954
  • HERE'S ONE OF THE THINGS ISUGGESTED FOR COUPLES WHO
  • 00:32:47.021 --> 00:32:48.423
  • SUGGESTED FOR COUPLES WHOARE AT HOME TOGETHER,
  • 00:32:48.489 --> 00:32:50.658
  • ARE AT HOME TOGETHER,STUCK AT HOME TOGETHER,
  • 00:32:50.725 --> 00:32:52.193
  • STUCK AT HOME TOGETHER,AS IT WERE.
  • 00:32:52.260 --> 00:32:53.728
  • AS IT WERE.I SAY, "WELL, WHY DO WE
  • 00:32:53.795 --> 00:32:54.362
  • I SAY, "WELL, WHY DO WENEED TO SIT DOWN AND TALK
  • 00:32:54.429 --> 00:32:55.063
  • NEED TO SIT DOWN AND TALKTO EACH OTHER?"
  • 00:32:55.129 --> 00:32:56.097
  • TO EACH OTHER?"WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I SAY,
  • 00:32:56.164 --> 00:32:57.598
  • WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I SAY,"LET'S HAVE A SIT-DOWN AND
  • 00:32:57.665 --> 00:32:58.399
  • "LET'S HAVE A SIT-DOWN ANDLISTEN TIME," RATHER THAN
  • 00:32:58.466 --> 00:33:01.102
  • LISTEN TIME," RATHER THANA "SIT-DOWN AND TALK TIME,"
  • 00:33:01.169 --> 00:33:02.070
  • A "SIT-DOWN AND TALK TIME,"BECAUSE, WHEN I SAY,
  • 00:33:02.136 --> 00:33:04.272
  • BECAUSE, WHEN I SAY,"LET'S SIT DOWN AND TALK,"
  • 00:33:04.338 --> 00:33:05.640
  • "LET'S SIT DOWN AND TALK,"IT NORMALLY MEANS,
  • 00:33:05.706 --> 00:33:06.607
  • IT NORMALLY MEANS,"I HAVE SOMETHIN' I WANNA
  • 00:33:06.674 --> 00:33:07.175
  • "I HAVE SOMETHIN' I WANNATELL YOU," BUT IF I SAY,
  • 00:33:07.241 --> 00:33:08.743
  • TELL YOU," BUT IF I SAY,"LET'S HAVE A SIT-DOWN AND
  • 00:33:08.810 --> 00:33:10.445
  • "LET'S HAVE A SIT-DOWN ANDLISTEN TIME," THAT MEANS,
  • 00:33:10.511 --> 00:33:11.446
  • LISTEN TIME," THAT MEANS,"I WANNA HEAR WHAT'S GOIN'
  • 00:33:11.512 --> 00:33:12.814
  • "I WANNA HEAR WHAT'S GOIN'ON IN YOUR LIFE."
  • 00:33:12.880 --> 00:33:13.548
  • SO EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE IN
  • 00:33:14.182 --> 00:33:14.649
  • SO EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE INTHE SAME HOUSE, YOU STILL
  • 00:33:14.715 --> 00:33:16.717
  • THE SAME HOUSE, YOU STILLNEED TO HAVE-- ESPECIALLY
  • 00:33:16.784 --> 00:33:18.119
  • NEED TO HAVE-- ESPECIALLYIF QUALITY TIME IS THEIR
  • 00:33:18.186 --> 00:33:19.020
  • IF QUALITY TIME IS THEIRLANGUAGE, YOU NEED TO--
  • 00:33:19.087 --> 00:33:20.455
  • LANGUAGE, YOU NEED TO--I THINK YOU NEED TO HAVE A
  • 00:33:20.521 --> 00:33:22.023
  • I THINK YOU NEED TO HAVE ADAILY SIT-DOWN AND LISTEN
  • 00:33:22.090 --> 00:33:22.590
  • DAILY SIT-DOWN AND LISTENTIME.
  • 00:33:22.657 --> 00:33:23.057
  • IT MIGHT BE 15 MINUTES.
  • 00:33:23.758 --> 00:33:24.625
  • IT MIGHT BE 15 MINUTES."HONEY, TELL ME WHAT'S
  • 00:33:24.692 --> 00:33:25.326
  • "HONEY, TELL ME WHAT'SGOIN' ON IN YOUR MIND
  • 00:33:25.393 --> 00:33:26.127
  • GOIN' ON IN YOUR MINDTODAY.
  • 00:33:26.194 --> 00:33:27.161
  • TODAY.WHAT'S HAPPENED IN YOUR
  • 00:33:27.228 --> 00:33:28.129
  • WHAT'S HAPPENED IN YOURWORK?"
  • 00:33:28.196 --> 00:33:28.863
  • WORK?"IF THEY'RE WORKING, OR
  • 00:33:28.930 --> 00:33:29.864
  • IF THEY'RE WORKING, OR"WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
  • 00:33:29.931 --> 00:33:31.532
  • "WHAT HAVE YOU BEENTHINKING TODAY?
  • 00:33:31.599 --> 00:33:32.400
  • THINKING TODAY?WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN FEELIN'
  • 00:33:32.467 --> 00:33:33.000
  • WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN FEELIN'TODAY?
  • 00:33:33.067 --> 00:33:33.835
  • TODAY?WHAT'S GOIN' ON IN YOUR
  • 00:33:33.901 --> 00:33:35.736
  • WHAT'S GOIN' ON IN YOURMIND?"
  • 00:33:35.803 --> 00:33:36.671
  • MIND?"AND LISTEN TO THEM, AND
  • 00:33:36.737 --> 00:33:37.505
  • AND LISTEN TO THEM, ANDTHEN LET THEM LISTEN TO YOU.
  • 00:33:37.572 --> 00:33:39.006
  • THEN LET THEM LISTEN TO YOU.EVEN IF IT'S JUST 15
  • 00:33:39.073 --> 00:33:39.607
  • EVEN IF IT'S JUST 15MINUTES, MAN, THAT
  • 00:33:39.674 --> 00:33:41.242
  • MINUTES, MAN, THATCOMMUNICATES TO THEM.
  • 00:33:41.309 --> 00:33:42.743
  • COMMUNICATES TO THEM.YOU CARE ABOUT THEM.
  • 00:33:42.810 --> 00:33:43.277
  • YOU CARE ABOUT THEM.YOU WANT TO HEAR WHAT'S
  • 00:33:43.344 --> 00:33:45.012
  • YOU WANT TO HEAR WHAT'SGOING ON INSIDE OF THEM.
  • 00:33:45.079 --> 00:33:46.214
  • GOING ON INSIDE OF THEM.THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF
  • 00:33:46.280 --> 00:33:48.349
  • THE WHOLE PURPOSE OFQUALITY TIME IS THAT YOU
  • 00:33:48.416 --> 00:33:49.684
  • QUALITY TIME IS THAT YOUARE SHOWING INTEREST IN
  • 00:33:49.750 --> 00:33:51.119
  • ARE SHOWING INTEREST INTHE OTHER PERSON AND THAT
  • 00:33:51.185 --> 00:33:52.954
  • THE OTHER PERSON AND THATYOU CARE ABOUT THEM.
  • 00:33:53.020 --> 00:33:55.490
  • YOU CARE ABOUT THEM.SO WHATEVER THE SETTING,
  • 00:33:55.556 --> 00:33:57.358
  • SO WHATEVER THE SETTING,THAT'S THE OBJECTIVE.
  • 00:33:57.425 --> 00:33:59.861
  • THAT'S THE OBJECTIVE.- MATT: OKAY, IF I CAN
  • 00:33:59.927 --> 00:34:01.562
  • - MATT: OKAY, IF I CANSTAY ON THIS ONE JUST FOR
  • 00:34:01.629 --> 00:34:02.130
  • STAY ON THIS ONE JUST FORONE MORE SECOND BECAUSE I
  • 00:34:02.196 --> 00:34:04.398
  • ONE MORE SECOND BECAUSE IFOUND ANOTHER LITTLE
  • 00:34:04.465 --> 00:34:06.501
  • FOUND ANOTHER LITTLENUANCE THAT, YOU KNOW, IT'S--
  • 00:34:06.567 --> 00:34:07.668
  • NUANCE THAT, YOU KNOW, IT'S--I UNDERSTAND WHAT
  • 00:34:07.735 --> 00:34:09.804
  • I UNDERSTAND WHATYOU'RE SAYING, AND THAT
  • 00:34:09.871 --> 00:34:11.172
  • YOU'RE SAYING, AND THATDOES APPLY TO US.
  • 00:34:11.239 --> 00:34:13.007
  • DOES APPLY TO US.SHE DOES LIKE TO HEAR KIND
  • 00:34:13.074 --> 00:34:15.209
  • SHE DOES LIKE TO HEAR KINDOF A DEBRIEF.
  • 00:34:15.276 --> 00:34:17.445
  • OF A DEBRIEF.INTERESTING THOUGH, YOU
  • 00:34:17.512 --> 00:34:20.248
  • INTERESTING THOUGH, YOUKNOW, TRINITY IS A COMPANY
  • 00:34:20.314 --> 00:34:23.117
  • KNOW, TRINITY IS A COMPANYTHAT, YOU KNOW, WE HAVE
  • 00:34:23.184 --> 00:34:24.685
  • THAT, YOU KNOW, WE HAVEDIFFERENT DIVISIONS, AND
  • 00:34:24.752 --> 00:34:27.455
  • DIFFERENT DIVISIONS, ANDSOMETIMES I'M DEALING WITH
  • 00:34:27.522 --> 00:34:29.090
  • SOMETIMES I'M DEALING WITHTHE GOOD PART OF WHAT TBN
  • 00:34:29.157 --> 00:34:29.891
  • THE GOOD PART OF WHAT TBNIS, WHICH IS CONTENT,
  • 00:34:29.957 --> 00:34:32.393
  • IS, WHICH IS CONTENT,SITTING WITH
  • 00:34:32.460 --> 00:34:33.194
  • SITTING WITHDR. GARY CHAPMAN, UNPACKING
  • 00:34:33.261 --> 00:34:34.228
  • DR. GARY CHAPMAN, UNPACKING"THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES."
  • 00:34:34.295 --> 00:34:37.198
  • "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES."THIS IS THE FUN PART OF TBN,
  • 00:34:37.265 --> 00:34:38.466
  • THIS IS THE FUN PART OF TBN,TO ME.
  • 00:34:38.533 --> 00:34:40.768
  • TO ME.SOMETIMES I DEAL WITH
  • 00:34:40.835 --> 00:34:42.103
  • SOMETIMES I DEAL WITHSECTIONS THAT AREN'T AS FUN,
  • 00:34:42.170 --> 00:34:44.205
  • SECTIONS THAT AREN'T AS FUN,THAT ARE TECHNOLOGY-RELATED,
  • 00:34:44.272 --> 00:34:46.340
  • THAT ARE TECHNOLOGY-RELATED,AND SO, YOU KNOW,
  • 00:34:46.407 --> 00:34:48.209
  • AND SO, YOU KNOW,I'M HOME SOMETIMES,
  • 00:34:48.276 --> 00:34:50.444
  • I'M HOME SOMETIMES,AND SHE'S AT LEAST
  • 00:34:50.511 --> 00:34:53.281
  • AND SHE'S AT LEASTHEARING MY SIDE OF
  • 00:34:53.347 --> 00:34:54.949
  • HEARING MY SIDE OFTHE CONVERSATION IN REGARD
  • 00:34:55.016 --> 00:34:57.151
  • THE CONVERSATION IN REGARDTO TECHNICAL MATTERS,
  • 00:34:57.218 --> 00:34:58.186
  • TO TECHNICAL MATTERS,AND THERE CAN BE A DISRUPTION
  • 00:34:58.252 --> 00:35:00.021
  • AND THERE CAN BE A DISRUPTIONOF WHAT YOU JUST SAID,
  • 00:35:00.087 --> 00:35:02.523
  • OF WHAT YOU JUST SAID,WHICH IS HER WANTING TO BE
  • 00:35:02.590 --> 00:35:05.026
  • WHICH IS HER WANTING TO BEFILLED IN, AND THAT MAKES
  • 00:35:05.092 --> 00:35:07.728
  • FILLED IN, AND THAT MAKESHER FEEL COMFORTABLE AND
  • 00:35:07.795 --> 00:35:10.031
  • HER FEEL COMFORTABLE ANDCONNECTED AND ALL SORTS OF
  • 00:35:10.097 --> 00:35:11.832
  • CONNECTED AND ALL SORTS OFDIFFERENT DYNAMICS, AND I
  • 00:35:11.899 --> 00:35:15.303
  • DIFFERENT DYNAMICS, AND IHAVE SAID TO HER A COUPLE
  • 00:35:15.369 --> 00:35:16.938
  • HAVE SAID TO HER A COUPLEOF TIMES IN 2020-- AGAIN,
  • 00:35:17.004 --> 00:35:19.407
  • OF TIMES IN 2020-- AGAIN,WE'RE IN 2021, BUT IN
  • 00:35:19.473 --> 00:35:20.274
  • WE'RE IN 2021, BUT IN2020, "LOOK, I'M AT HOME.
  • 00:35:20.341 --> 00:35:23.244
  • 2020, "LOOK, I'M AT HOME.I'M NOT AT THE OFFICE.
  • 00:35:23.311 --> 00:35:25.213
  • I'M NOT AT THE OFFICE.I'M HERE, BUT I'M STILL IN
  • 00:35:25.279 --> 00:35:27.315
  • I'M HERE, BUT I'M STILL INWORK MODE, AND I NEED TO
  • 00:35:27.381 --> 00:35:28.916
  • WORK MODE, AND I NEED TOGET TO MY NEXT CALL."
  • 00:35:28.983 --> 00:35:30.318
  • GET TO MY NEXT CALL."THAT'S PROBABLY NOT THE
  • 00:35:30.384 --> 00:35:31.619
  • THAT'S PROBABLY NOT THEBEST THING TO HAVE TO
  • 00:35:31.686 --> 00:35:33.521
  • BEST THING TO HAVE TOADMIT AND EVERYTHING, BUT
  • 00:35:33.588 --> 00:35:34.755
  • ADMIT AND EVERYTHING, BUTTHAT IS A COMPLICATION
  • 00:35:34.822 --> 00:35:36.157
  • THAT IS A COMPLICATIONTHAT'S GOING ON, I'M SURE,
  • 00:35:36.224 --> 00:35:37.825
  • THAT'S GOING ON, I'M SURE,IN A LOT OF HOMES, THAT
  • 00:35:37.892 --> 00:35:39.794
  • IN A LOT OF HOMES, THATIS, SOMETHING AT LEAST I
  • 00:35:39.860 --> 00:35:42.597
  • IS, SOMETHING AT LEAST IWANTED TO ARTICULATE THAT,
  • 00:35:42.663 --> 00:35:43.931
  • WANTED TO ARTICULATE THAT,YOU KNOW, IN SOME-- I'M
  • 00:35:43.998 --> 00:35:46.300
  • YOU KNOW, IN SOME-- I'MNOT EVEN SURE WHAT I'M
  • 00:35:46.367 --> 00:35:47.702
  • NOT EVEN SURE WHAT I'MTRYIN' TO SAY EXCEPT THAT
  • 00:35:47.768 --> 00:35:49.971
  • TRYIN' TO SAY EXCEPT THATTHAT WASN'T THE RIGHT TIME
  • 00:35:50.037 --> 00:35:50.838
  • THAT WASN'T THE RIGHT TIMETO DO THAT BECAUSE I'M IN
  • 00:35:50.905 --> 00:35:52.473
  • TO DO THAT BECAUSE I'M IN"WORK MODE"--
  • 00:35:52.540 --> 00:35:53.741
  • "WORK MODE"--I WOULD'VE NORMALLY BEEN
  • 00:35:53.808 --> 00:35:55.009
  • I WOULD'VE NORMALLY BEENSITTING IN MY OFFICE
  • 00:35:55.076 --> 00:35:55.576
  • SITTING IN MY OFFICEDOING THIS.
  • 00:35:55.643 --> 00:35:56.978
  • DOING THIS.- DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,
  • 00:35:57.044 --> 00:35:57.645
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,TIMING IS A KEY FACTOR.
  • 00:35:57.712 --> 00:35:58.713
  • TIMING IS A KEY FACTOR.- MATT: BAIL ME OUT HERE,
  • 00:35:58.779 --> 00:35:59.714
  • - MATT: BAIL ME OUT HERE,DOCTOR.
  • 00:35:59.780 --> 00:36:00.181
  • DOCTOR.- DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,
  • 00:36:00.248 --> 00:36:00.915
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,OKAY.
  • 00:36:00.982 --> 00:36:01.449
  • OKAY.- LAURIE: BUT I HAVEN'T
  • 00:36:01.515 --> 00:36:02.283
  • - LAURIE: BUT I HAVEN'TMADE THAT AN ISSUE.
  • 00:36:02.350 --> 00:36:03.084
  • MADE THAT AN ISSUE.- MATT: YOU HAVEN'T.
  • 00:36:03.150 --> 00:36:03.751
  • - MATT: YOU HAVEN'T.- LAURIE: I'VE NEVER MADE
  • 00:36:03.818 --> 00:36:04.919
  • - LAURIE: I'VE NEVER MADETHAT AN ISSUE.
  • 00:36:04.986 --> 00:36:05.586
  • THAT AN ISSUE.- MATT: I'M JUST SAYING
  • 00:36:05.653 --> 00:36:06.120
  • - MATT: I'M JUST SAYINGIT'S SOMETHING THAT I
  • 00:36:06.187 --> 00:36:07.722
  • IT'S SOMETHING THAT IWOULD HAVE FELT BAD ABOUT
  • 00:36:07.788 --> 00:36:08.289
  • WOULD HAVE FELT BAD ABOUTAND, YOU KNOW--
  • 00:36:08.356 --> 00:36:08.956
  • AND, YOU KNOW--- LAURIE: ARE YOU TRYING
  • 00:36:09.023 --> 00:36:09.490
  • - LAURIE: ARE YOU TRYINGTO SAY YOU'RE SORRY?
  • 00:36:09.557 --> 00:36:10.324
  • TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY?- MATT: I'M SORRY, BABY.
  • 00:36:10.391 --> 00:36:11.259
  • - MATT: I'M SORRY, BABY.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:36:11.325 --> 00:36:11.993
  • [LAUGHTER]THANKS.
  • 00:36:12.059 --> 00:36:12.693
  • THANKS.- LAURIE: SEE, SO EASY.
  • 00:36:12.760 --> 00:36:13.361
  • - LAURIE: SEE, SO EASY.- DR. CHAPMAN: WELL, I
  • 00:36:13.427 --> 00:36:14.028
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: WELL, ITHINK IN THAT KIND OF
  • 00:36:14.095 --> 00:36:14.895
  • THINK IN THAT KIND OFSETTING, WHAT YOU WOULD
  • 00:36:14.962 --> 00:36:17.098
  • SETTING, WHAT YOU WOULDDO, EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE
  • 00:36:17.164 --> 00:36:19.000
  • DO, EXACTLY WHAT WE'REDOING NOW.
  • 00:36:19.066 --> 00:36:19.934
  • DOING NOW.YOU WOULD TALK ABOUT THAT,
  • 00:36:20.001 --> 00:36:20.501
  • YOU WOULD TALK ABOUT THAT,AND BOTH OF YOU UNDERSTAND
  • 00:36:20.568 --> 00:36:21.035
  • AND BOTH OF YOU UNDERSTANDTHE CONCEPT THAT YOU'RE AT
  • 00:36:21.102 --> 00:36:21.702
  • THE CONCEPT THAT YOU'RE ATHOME, BUT YOU'RE WORKING,
  • 00:36:21.769 --> 00:36:23.337
  • HOME, BUT YOU'RE WORKING,AND IF SHE WOULD COME IN
  • 00:36:23.404 --> 00:36:24.138
  • AND IF SHE WOULD COME INAND START TO ASKING YOU TO
  • 00:36:24.205 --> 00:36:25.539
  • AND START TO ASKING YOU TODEBRIEF OR ASK YOU A
  • 00:36:25.606 --> 00:36:26.674
  • DEBRIEF OR ASK YOU AQUESTION, SAY, "HONEY,
  • 00:36:26.741 --> 00:36:28.242
  • QUESTION, SAY, "HONEY,I'MMA WRITE IT DOWN, AND
  • 00:36:28.309 --> 00:36:30.177
  • I'MMA WRITE IT DOWN, ANDTHIS AFTERNOON OR THIS
  • 00:36:30.244 --> 00:36:30.678
  • THIS AFTERNOON OR THISEVENING OR TONIGHT,
  • 00:36:30.745 --> 00:36:32.113
  • EVENING OR TONIGHT,WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT."
  • 00:36:32.179 --> 00:36:32.780
  • WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT."- MATT: YEAH.
  • 00:36:32.847 --> 00:36:33.414
  • - MATT: YEAH.- DR. CHAPMAN: AND THE
  • 00:36:33.481 --> 00:36:33.914
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: AND THESAME THING WITH A CHILD.
  • 00:36:33.981 --> 00:36:35.182
  • SAME THING WITH A CHILD.YOU KNOW, TO SAY TO A
  • 00:36:35.249 --> 00:36:36.651
  • YOU KNOW, TO SAY TO ACHILD WHO HAS COME TO YOU
  • 00:36:36.717 --> 00:36:38.085
  • CHILD WHO HAS COME TO YOUAND WANTED TO TALK RIGHT
  • 00:36:38.152 --> 00:36:39.353
  • AND WANTED TO TALK RIGHTNOW, AND MAYBE QUALITY
  • 00:36:39.420 --> 00:36:41.222
  • NOW, AND MAYBE QUALITYTIME IS THEIR LANGUAGE,
  • 00:36:41.289 --> 00:36:42.990
  • TIME IS THEIR LANGUAGE,AND YOU SAY, "HONEY, I
  • 00:36:43.057 --> 00:36:43.591
  • AND YOU SAY, "HONEY, IREALLY WANNA HEAR WHAT
  • 00:36:43.658 --> 00:36:44.892
  • REALLY WANNA HEAR WHATYOU'RE SAYING, BUT I'VE
  • 00:36:44.959 --> 00:36:45.993
  • YOU'RE SAYING, BUT I'VEGOTTA FINISH THESE BEANS,
  • 00:36:46.060 --> 00:36:47.194
  • GOTTA FINISH THESE BEANS,OR I'M GON' BURN THEM.
  • 00:36:47.261 --> 00:36:47.762
  • OR I'M GON' BURN THEM.SO, YOU KNOW, GIVE ME TEN
  • 00:36:47.828 --> 00:36:48.829
  • SO, YOU KNOW, GIVE ME TENMINUTES HERE.
  • 00:36:48.896 --> 00:36:49.363
  • MINUTES HERE.LET ME FINISH WHAT I'M
  • 00:36:49.430 --> 00:36:50.431
  • LET ME FINISH WHAT I'MWORKIN' ON, AND THEN WE'LL
  • 00:36:50.498 --> 00:36:50.998
  • WORKIN' ON, AND THEN WE'LLSIT DOWN, AND I WANNA HEAR
  • 00:36:51.065 --> 00:36:52.266
  • SIT DOWN, AND I WANNA HEARWHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY."
  • 00:36:52.333 --> 00:36:52.833
  • WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY."SO IT'S A MATTER OF FINDING A
  • 00:36:52.900 --> 00:36:54.268
  • SO IT'S A MATTER OF FINDING ATIME, NOT JUST TURNING
  • 00:36:54.335 --> 00:36:54.735
  • TIME, NOT JUST TURNINGTHEM OFF BUT EXPLAINING
  • 00:36:54.802 --> 00:36:56.871
  • THEM OFF BUT EXPLAININGWHY, AND THEN SETTING A
  • 00:36:56.937 --> 00:36:57.405
  • WHY, AND THEN SETTING ATIME TO TALK.
  • 00:36:57.471 --> 00:36:58.706
  • TIME TO TALK.- MATT: FIFTH LOVE
  • 00:36:58.773 --> 00:37:00.474
  • - MATT: FIFTH LOVELANGUAGE-- PHYSICAL TOUCH.
  • 00:37:00.541 --> 00:37:01.976
  • LANGUAGE-- PHYSICAL TOUCH.EXPLAIN THAT DEEPER.
  • 00:37:02.043 --> 00:37:06.447
  • EXPLAIN THAT DEEPER.- DR. CHAPMAN: WE'VE LONG
  • 00:37:06.514 --> 00:37:07.848
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: WE'VE LONGKNOWN THE EMOTIONAL POWER
  • 00:37:07.915 --> 00:37:09.750
  • KNOWN THE EMOTIONAL POWEROF PHYSICAL TOUCH.
  • 00:37:09.817 --> 00:37:10.918
  • OF PHYSICAL TOUCH.THAT'S WHY WE PICK UP
  • 00:37:10.985 --> 00:37:12.086
  • THAT'S WHY WE PICK UPBABIES.
  • 00:37:12.153 --> 00:37:13.487
  • BABIES.HOLD THEM, KISS THEM,
  • 00:37:13.554 --> 00:37:14.588
  • HOLD THEM, KISS THEM,CUDDLE THEM.
  • 00:37:14.655 --> 00:37:16.157
  • CUDDLE THEM.LONG BEFORE THE BABY
  • 00:37:16.223 --> 00:37:18.292
  • LONG BEFORE THE BABYUNDERSTANDS THE MEANING OF
  • 00:37:18.359 --> 00:37:19.627
  • UNDERSTANDS THE MEANING OFTHE WORD "LOVE," THE BABY
  • 00:37:19.694 --> 00:37:20.361
  • THE WORD "LOVE," THE BABYFEELS LOVE BY PHYSICAL
  • 00:37:20.428 --> 00:37:20.895
  • FEELS LOVE BY PHYSICALTOUCH.
  • 00:37:20.961 --> 00:37:22.430
  • TOUCH.IN A MARRIAGE, THIS IS
  • 00:37:22.496 --> 00:37:23.731
  • IN A MARRIAGE, THIS ISSUCH THINGS AS HOLDING
  • 00:37:23.798 --> 00:37:24.665
  • SUCH THINGS AS HOLDINGHANDS, WHICH YOU ALL ARE
  • 00:37:24.732 --> 00:37:26.200
  • HANDS, WHICH YOU ALL AREDOIN' RIGHT NOW.
  • 00:37:26.267 --> 00:37:27.868
  • DOIN' RIGHT NOW.- MATT: THANK GOD.
  • 00:37:27.935 --> 00:37:28.469
  • - MATT: THANK GOD.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:37:28.536 --> 00:37:29.970
  • [LAUGHTER]- LAURIE: THAT WOULD'VE
  • 00:37:30.037 --> 00:37:30.504
  • - LAURIE: THAT WOULD'VEBEEN AWKWARD.
  • 00:37:30.571 --> 00:37:30.938
  • BEEN AWKWARD.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:37:31.005 --> 00:37:31.439
  • [LAUGHTER]- DR. CHAPMAN: KISSING
  • 00:37:31.505 --> 00:37:31.939
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: KISSINGEACH OTHER, THE WHOLE
  • 00:37:32.006 --> 00:37:32.840
  • EACH OTHER, THE WHOLESEXUAL PART OF THE
  • 00:37:32.907 --> 00:37:34.942
  • SEXUAL PART OF THEMARRIAGE, ARM AROUND THE
  • 00:37:35.009 --> 00:37:36.444
  • MARRIAGE, ARM AROUND THESHOULDER, DRIVIN' DOWN THE
  • 00:37:36.510 --> 00:37:38.446
  • SHOULDER, DRIVIN' DOWN THEROAD, YOU PUT YOUR HAND ON
  • 00:37:38.512 --> 00:37:39.580
  • ROAD, YOU PUT YOUR HAND ONTHEIR LEG, SITTING AROUND
  • 00:37:39.647 --> 00:37:41.148
  • THEIR LEG, SITTING AROUNDTHE HOUSE, THEY WALK BY,
  • 00:37:41.215 --> 00:37:42.350
  • THE HOUSE, THEY WALK BY,AND YOU TRIP THEM--
  • 00:37:42.416 --> 00:37:43.451
  • AND YOU TRIP THEM--[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:37:43.517 --> 00:37:43.951
  • [LAUGHTER]I'M KIDDING, I'M KIDDING.
  • 00:37:44.018 --> 00:37:45.186
  • I'M KIDDING, I'M KIDDING.DON'T TRIP YOUR SPOUSE.
  • 00:37:45.252 --> 00:37:47.054
  • DON'T TRIP YOUR SPOUSE.- LAURIE: PAT 'EM ON THE BUTT.
  • 00:37:47.121 --> 00:37:48.022
  • - LAURIE: PAT 'EM ON THE BUTT.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:37:48.089 --> 00:37:48.689
  • [LAUGHTER]- DR. CHAPMAN:
  • 00:37:48.756 --> 00:37:50.791
  • - DR. CHAPMAN:APPROPRIATE TOUCHES.
  • 00:37:50.858 --> 00:37:52.593
  • APPROPRIATE TOUCHES.AND, FOR SOME PEOPLE,
  • 00:37:52.660 --> 00:37:54.929
  • AND, FOR SOME PEOPLE,PHYSICAL TOUCH IS THEIR
  • 00:37:54.995 --> 00:37:55.529
  • PHYSICAL TOUCH IS THEIRPRIMARY LANGUAGE, AND IF
  • 00:37:55.596 --> 00:37:57.965
  • PRIMARY LANGUAGE, AND IFYOU'RE NOT KIND OF RUBBIN'
  • 00:37:58.032 --> 00:38:00.735
  • YOU'RE NOT KIND OF RUBBIN'UP AGAINST THEM OR JUST
  • 00:38:00.801 --> 00:38:01.369
  • UP AGAINST THEM OR JUSTPUTTIN' YOUR HAND ON THEIR
  • 00:38:01.435 --> 00:38:02.603
  • PUTTIN' YOUR HAND ON THEIRSHOULDER OR KISSING OR
  • 00:38:02.670 --> 00:38:03.070
  • SHOULDER OR KISSING ORHUGGING IN A MARRIAGE
  • 00:38:03.137 --> 00:38:04.271
  • HUGGING IN A MARRIAGERELATIONSHIP, THEN THEY
  • 00:38:04.338 --> 00:38:04.805
  • RELATIONSHIP, THEN THEYBEGIN TO FEEL LIKE "THEY
  • 00:38:04.872 --> 00:38:06.874
  • BEGIN TO FEEL LIKE "THEYDON'T LOVE ME," YOU KNOW?
  • 00:38:06.941 --> 00:38:07.775
  • DON'T LOVE ME," YOU KNOW?"IF THEY LOVED ME, THEY'D
  • 00:38:07.842 --> 00:38:08.642
  • "IF THEY LOVED ME, THEY'DBE SHOWING IT BY THE WAY
  • 00:38:08.709 --> 00:38:09.877
  • BE SHOWING IT BY THE WAYTHEY TOUCH ME."
  • 00:38:09.944 --> 00:38:11.011
  • THEY TOUCH ME."AND THE SAME THING IS TRUE
  • 00:38:11.078 --> 00:38:12.012
  • AND THE SAME THING IS TRUEWITH CHILDREN.
  • 00:38:12.079 --> 00:38:13.047
  • WITH CHILDREN.AND, YOU KNOW, AND NOW IN
  • 00:38:13.114 --> 00:38:15.316
  • AND, YOU KNOW, AND NOW INTHE WORKPLACE, IN THOSE
  • 00:38:15.383 --> 00:38:16.317
  • THE WORKPLACE, IN THOSERELATIONSHIPS, OBVIOUSLY,
  • 00:38:16.384 --> 00:38:18.252
  • RELATIONSHIPS, OBVIOUSLY,YOU KNOW, HR PEOPLE SAY,
  • 00:38:18.319 --> 00:38:19.820
  • YOU KNOW, HR PEOPLE SAY,"WHOA, WE DON'T TOUCH AT
  • 00:38:19.887 --> 00:38:20.354
  • "WHOA, WE DON'T TOUCH ATWORK."
  • 00:38:20.421 --> 00:38:21.322
  • WORK."AND I UNDERSTAND
  • 00:38:21.389 --> 00:38:22.390
  • AND I UNDERSTANDTHAT BECAUSE OF ALL THE
  • 00:38:22.456 --> 00:38:23.190
  • THAT BECAUSE OF ALL THEABUSE THAT WE'VE HAD IN
  • 00:38:23.257 --> 00:38:24.692
  • ABUSE THAT WE'VE HAD INTHE WORKPLACE THROUGH THE
  • 00:38:24.759 --> 00:38:25.226
  • THE WORKPLACE THROUGH THEYEARS, BUT HUMANS TOUCH.
  • 00:38:25.292 --> 00:38:27.828
  • YEARS, BUT HUMANS TOUCH.THERE ARE NO HUMAN
  • 00:38:27.895 --> 00:38:30.431
  • THERE ARE NO HUMANCULTURES WHERE HUMANS DO
  • 00:38:30.498 --> 00:38:32.032
  • CULTURES WHERE HUMANS DONOT TOUCH--APPROPRIATELY.
  • 00:38:32.099 --> 00:38:34.435
  • NOT TOUCH--APPROPRIATELY.SO THERE ARE APPROPRIATE
  • 00:38:34.502 --> 00:38:36.003
  • SO THERE ARE APPROPRIATETOUCHES, AND FOR SOME
  • 00:38:36.070 --> 00:38:36.804
  • TOUCHES, AND FOR SOMEPEOPLE, IT IS THESE
  • 00:38:36.871 --> 00:38:38.939
  • PEOPLE, IT IS THESEAPPROPRIATE TOUCHES THAT
  • 00:38:39.006 --> 00:38:40.374
  • APPROPRIATE TOUCHES THATMAKES THEM FEEL
  • 00:38:40.441 --> 00:38:41.675
  • MAKES THEM FEELAPPRECIATED AND LOVED.
  • 00:38:41.742 --> 00:38:44.345
  • APPRECIATED AND LOVED.- MATT: SOME OF-- I WANNA
  • 00:38:44.412 --> 00:38:45.279
  • - MATT: SOME OF-- I WANNATOUCH IT ONE MORE TIME.
  • 00:38:45.346 --> 00:38:45.946
  • TOUCH IT ONE MORE TIME.SOME OF OUR AUDIENCE JUST
  • 00:38:46.013 --> 00:38:47.782
  • SOME OF OUR AUDIENCE JUSTTHINKS YOU CAN GO TO A
  • 00:38:47.848 --> 00:38:49.183
  • THINKS YOU CAN GO TO AMARRIAGE SEMINAR AND THAT
  • 00:38:49.250 --> 00:38:49.850
  • MARRIAGE SEMINAR AND THAT"THE LORD'S GOING TO FIX
  • 00:38:49.917 --> 00:38:54.688
  • "THE LORD'S GOING TO FIXOUR MARRIAGE WITH A SNAP
  • 00:38:54.755 --> 00:38:55.689
  • OUR MARRIAGE WITH A SNAPOF A FINGER," AND, LOOK,
  • 00:38:55.756 --> 00:38:57.091
  • OF A FINGER," AND, LOOK,GOD CAN DO ANYTHING, AND
  • 00:38:57.158 --> 00:38:58.259
  • GOD CAN DO ANYTHING, ANDHE CAN DO ANY KIND OF
  • 00:38:58.325 --> 00:38:59.293
  • HE CAN DO ANY KIND OFMIRACLE HE WANTS TO DO,
  • 00:38:59.360 --> 00:39:00.494
  • MIRACLE HE WANTS TO DO,AND I'M NOT OPPOSED TO
  • 00:39:00.561 --> 00:39:01.328
  • AND I'M NOT OPPOSED TOTHAT UNDER ANY
  • 00:39:01.395 --> 00:39:03.364
  • THAT UNDER ANYCIRCUMSTANCE AND HOPE THAT
  • 00:39:03.431 --> 00:39:04.899
  • CIRCUMSTANCE AND HOPE THATIT HAPPENS FOR YOU, YOU
  • 00:39:04.965 --> 00:39:06.033
  • IT HAPPENS FOR YOU, YOUKNOW, SAM AND MADGE,
  • 00:39:06.100 --> 00:39:07.835
  • KNOW, SAM AND MADGE,SITTING ON THE COUCH RIGHT
  • 00:39:07.902 --> 00:39:09.870
  • SITTING ON THE COUCH RIGHTNOW, AND, HOLY SMOKES, IF
  • 00:39:09.937 --> 00:39:11.472
  • NOW, AND, HOLY SMOKES, IFTHERE REALLY IS A SAM AND
  • 00:39:11.539 --> 00:39:12.006
  • THERE REALLY IS A SAM ANDA MADGE SITTIN' OUT THERE,
  • 00:39:12.072 --> 00:39:14.074
  • A MADGE SITTIN' OUT THERE,THEY'RE PROBABLY FREAKIN'
  • 00:39:14.141 --> 00:39:14.642
  • THEY'RE PROBABLY FREAKIN'OUT RIGHT NOW, BUT,
  • 00:39:14.708 --> 00:39:15.910
  • OUT RIGHT NOW, BUT,BASICALLY, WHAT WE'RE
  • 00:39:15.976 --> 00:39:18.813
  • BASICALLY, WHAT WE'RESAYING HERE IS THANKS TO
  • 00:39:18.879 --> 00:39:20.181
  • SAYING HERE IS THANKS TODR. GARY CHAPMAN,
  • 00:39:20.247 --> 00:39:26.153
  • WE HAVE A ROAD MAP TO GET
  • 00:39:27.254 --> 00:39:29.757
  • WE HAVE A ROAD MAP TO GETTHERE, AND THERE IS A LOVE
  • 00:39:29.824 --> 00:39:30.925
  • THERE, AND THERE IS A LOVETANK, OKAY, AND YOU HAVE
  • 00:39:30.991 --> 00:39:34.995
  • TANK, OKAY, AND YOU HAVEONE, AND IT MIGHT BE
  • 00:39:35.062 --> 00:39:37.531
  • ONE, AND IT MIGHT BEEMPTY, AND THAT'S WHY YOU
  • 00:39:37.598 --> 00:39:40.000
  • EMPTY, AND THAT'S WHY YOUHAVE NO FEELING FOR THE
  • 00:39:40.067 --> 00:39:42.570
  • HAVE NO FEELING FOR THESPOUSE, AND UNTIL YOU KIND
  • 00:39:42.636 --> 00:39:45.339
  • SPOUSE, AND UNTIL YOU KINDOF IDENTIFY THESE FIVE
  • 00:39:45.406 --> 00:39:47.675
  • OF IDENTIFY THESE FIVETHINGS, OKAY, IN YOUR--
  • 00:39:47.741 --> 00:39:49.643
  • THINGS, OKAY, IN YOUR--AND THAT'S WHAT THE BOOK
  • 00:39:49.710 --> 00:39:50.211
  • AND THAT'S WHAT THE BOOKIS BY THE WAY.
  • 00:39:50.277 --> 00:39:51.312
  • IS BY THE WAY.CALL THE NUMBER AND GET
  • 00:39:51.378 --> 00:39:52.413
  • CALL THE NUMBER AND GETTHE BOOK BECAUSE THE BOOK
  • 00:39:52.480 --> 00:39:55.216
  • THE BOOK BECAUSE THE BOOKHELPS YOU IDENTIFY WHAT
  • 00:39:55.282 --> 00:39:55.749
  • HELPS YOU IDENTIFY WHATYOUR LOVE LANGUAGE IS AND
  • 00:39:55.816 --> 00:39:57.852
  • YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE IS ANDWHAT YOUR SPOUSE OR YOUR
  • 00:39:57.918 --> 00:39:59.220
  • WHAT YOUR SPOUSE OR YOURCHILD OR YOUR AUNT OR YOUR
  • 00:39:59.286 --> 00:40:00.488
  • CHILD OR YOUR AUNT OR YOURUNCLE OR YOUR PARENT OR
  • 00:40:00.554 --> 00:40:01.021
  • UNCLE OR YOUR PARENT ORYOUR GROWN CHILD THAT YOU
  • 00:40:01.088 --> 00:40:04.592
  • YOUR GROWN CHILD THAT YOUARE HAVING COMMUNICATIONS
  • 00:40:04.658 --> 00:40:05.159
  • ARE HAVING COMMUNICATIONSPROBLEMS WITH, BUT THE
  • 00:40:05.226 --> 00:40:05.659
  • PROBLEMS WITH, BUT THEFIVE ARE:
  • 00:40:05.726 --> 00:40:06.093
  • FIVE ARE:WORDS OF AFFIRMATION,
  • 00:40:06.160 --> 00:40:08.496
  • WORDS OF AFFIRMATION,ACTS OF SERVICE,
  • 00:40:08.562 --> 00:40:09.096
  • ACTS OF SERVICE,RECEIVING GIFTS,
  • 00:40:09.163 --> 00:40:10.631
  • RECEIVING GIFTS,QUALITY TIME,
  • 00:40:10.698 --> 00:40:11.398
  • QUALITY TIME,PHYSICAL TOUCH.
  • 00:40:11.465 --> 00:40:12.733
  • PHYSICAL TOUCH.YOU LEFT ONE OUT, WHICH IS
  • 00:40:12.800 --> 00:40:13.968
  • YOU LEFT ONE OUT, WHICH ISCOOKING, I THINK, IS A
  • 00:40:14.034 --> 00:40:14.902
  • COOKING, I THINK, IS ALOVE LANGUAGE.
  • 00:40:14.969 --> 00:40:17.271
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: THAT'S A
  • 00:40:17.872 --> 00:40:18.906
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: THAT'S AHUGE ACT OF SERVICE.
  • 00:40:18.973 --> 00:40:20.040
  • HUGE ACT OF SERVICE.- MATT: OKAY, SO IT'S IN THAT--
  • 00:40:20.107 --> 00:40:21.408
  • - MATT: OKAY, SO IT'S IN THAT--- DR. CHAPMAN: ALL THESE
  • 00:40:21.475 --> 00:40:21.976
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: ALL THESELANGUAGES HAVE DIALECTS.
  • 00:40:22.042 --> 00:40:23.210
  • LANGUAGES HAVE DIALECTS.COOKING IS A DIALECT.
  • 00:40:23.277 --> 00:40:23.777
  • COOKING IS A DIALECT.- LAURIE: AND SARCASM IS
  • 00:40:23.844 --> 00:40:24.912
  • - LAURIE: AND SARCASM ISNOT A LOVE LANGUAGE.
  • 00:40:24.979 --> 00:40:25.679
  • NOT A LOVE LANGUAGE.SARCASM IS NOT A LOVE
  • 00:40:25.746 --> 00:40:26.180
  • SARCASM IS NOT A LOVELANGUAGE.
  • 00:40:26.247 --> 00:40:27.414
  • LANGUAGE.- DR. CHAPMAN: THAT'S NOT
  • 00:40:27.481 --> 00:40:27.982
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: THAT'S NOTA LOVE LANGUAGE.
  • 00:40:28.048 --> 00:40:28.682
  • A LOVE LANGUAGE.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:40:28.749 --> 00:40:29.116
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: SHOOT.
  • 00:40:29.183 --> 00:40:29.583
  • - MATT: SHOOT.- DR. CHAPMAN: I'VE HAD
  • 00:40:29.650 --> 00:40:30.117
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: I'VE HADPEOPLE TRY TO CONVINCE ME
  • 00:40:30.184 --> 00:40:31.418
  • PEOPLE TRY TO CONVINCE METHAT IT IS.
  • 00:40:31.485 --> 00:40:31.986
  • THAT IT IS.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:40:32.052 --> 00:40:32.953
  • [LAUGHTER]- LAURIE: SORRY.
  • 00:40:33.020 --> 00:40:33.787
  • - LAURIE: SORRY.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:40:33.854 --> 00:40:34.288
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: NOW, THE ONLY
  • 00:40:34.355 --> 00:40:35.489
  • - MATT: NOW, THE ONLYMISTAKE IN THIS BOOK IS
  • 00:40:35.556 --> 00:40:37.291
  • MISTAKE IN THIS BOOK ISTHAT COOKING IS NOT A LOVE
  • 00:40:37.358 --> 00:40:38.526
  • THAT COOKING IS NOT A LOVELANGUAGE.
  • 00:40:38.592 --> 00:40:39.059
  • LANGUAGE.- LAURIE: SHAME.
  • 00:40:39.126 --> 00:40:40.828
  • - LAURIE: SHAME.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:40:40.895 --> 00:40:41.328
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: OKAY, SO INSIDE
  • 00:40:41.395 --> 00:40:42.229
  • - MATT: OKAY, SO INSIDEOF ACTS OF SERVICE, YOU
  • 00:40:42.296 --> 00:40:43.464
  • OF ACTS OF SERVICE, YOUACTUALLY HAVE A DIAGRAM OF A--
  • 00:40:43.531 --> 00:40:46.133
  • ACTUALLY HAVE A DIAGRAM OF A--KIND OF A WAITER HOLDING
  • 00:40:46.200 --> 00:40:49.503
  • KIND OF A WAITER HOLDINGA THING OF FOOD,
  • 00:40:49.570 --> 00:40:50.037
  • A THING OF FOOD,SO YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW THAT
  • 00:40:50.104 --> 00:40:51.105
  • SO YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW THATBEING A FOODIE IS KIND OF
  • 00:40:51.171 --> 00:40:52.673
  • BEING A FOODIE IS KIND OFA BIG THING, BUT IT'S IN
  • 00:40:52.740 --> 00:40:53.908
  • A BIG THING, BUT IT'S INYOUR ACTS OF SERVICE.
  • 00:40:53.974 --> 00:40:56.310
  • YOUR ACTS OF SERVICE.- DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,
  • 00:40:56.377 --> 00:40:56.810
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,ABSOLUTELY.
  • 00:40:56.877 --> 00:40:57.811
  • IT'S A DIALECT OF ACTS OF
  • 00:40:58.379 --> 00:40:58.879
  • IT'S A DIALECT OF ACTS OFSERVICE.
  • 00:40:58.946 --> 00:40:59.613
  • SERVICE.I CALL IT-- IN EVERY ONE
  • 00:40:59.680 --> 00:41:00.915
  • I CALL IT-- IN EVERY ONEOF THESE-- AND I DISCUSSED
  • 00:41:00.981 --> 00:41:01.982
  • OF THESE-- AND I DISCUSSEDSOME OF THEM IN THE BOOK--
  • 00:41:02.049 --> 00:41:02.950
  • SOME OF THEM IN THE BOOK--THERE ARE DIFFERENT WAYS
  • 00:41:03.017 --> 00:41:03.484
  • THERE ARE DIFFERENT WAYSOF DOING THIS WHEN I'M
  • 00:41:03.551 --> 00:41:05.286
  • OF DOING THIS WHEN I'MCALLING THEM "DIALECTS"
  • 00:41:05.352 --> 00:41:07.588
  • CALLING THEM "DIALECTS"BECAUSE THE CONCEPT IS
  • 00:41:07.655 --> 00:41:08.155
  • BECAUSE THE CONCEPT ISVERY SIMILAR TO SPOKEN
  • 00:41:08.222 --> 00:41:09.423
  • VERY SIMILAR TO SPOKENLANGUAGE.
  • 00:41:09.490 --> 00:41:09.990
  • EVERY ONE OF US SPEAKS A
  • 00:41:11.292 --> 00:41:12.359
  • EVERY ONE OF US SPEAKS ALANGUAGE WITH A DIALECT,
  • 00:41:12.426 --> 00:41:13.761
  • LANGUAGE WITH A DIALECT,AND THAT'S THE ONE WE
  • 00:41:13.827 --> 00:41:14.261
  • AND THAT'S THE ONE WEUNDERSTAND BEST.
  • 00:41:14.328 --> 00:41:15.596
  • UNDERSTAND BEST.WE CALL IT OUR NATIVE
  • 00:41:15.663 --> 00:41:16.697
  • WE CALL IT OUR NATIVETONGUE.
  • 00:41:16.764 --> 00:41:18.532
  • TONGUE.I GREW UP SPEAKING
  • 00:41:18.599 --> 00:41:19.199
  • I GREW UP SPEAKINGENGLISH, SOUTHERN STYLE--
  • 00:41:19.266 --> 00:41:20.701
  • ENGLISH, SOUTHERN STYLE--- MATT: GOT IT.
  • 00:41:20.768 --> 00:41:22.169
  • - MATT: GOT IT.- DR. CHAPMAN: -- BUT
  • 00:41:22.236 --> 00:41:22.736
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: -- BUTEVERYBODY HAS A LANGUAGE
  • 00:41:22.803 --> 00:41:24.004
  • EVERYBODY HAS A LANGUAGEWITH A DIALECT, AND THE
  • 00:41:24.071 --> 00:41:24.705
  • WITH A DIALECT, AND THESAME PRINCIPLE IS TRUE IN
  • 00:41:24.772 --> 00:41:25.272
  • SAME PRINCIPLE IS TRUE INTHE LOVE LANGUAGES.
  • 00:41:25.339 --> 00:41:26.307
  • THE LOVE LANGUAGES.NOW, VERY SELDOM DOES A
  • 00:41:26.373 --> 00:41:27.875
  • NOW, VERY SELDOM DOES AHUSBAND AND WIFE HAVE THE
  • 00:41:27.942 --> 00:41:29.209
  • HUSBAND AND WIFE HAVE THESAME LANGUAGE.
  • 00:41:29.276 --> 00:41:30.244
  • SAME LANGUAGE.IT DOES HAPPEN, AND I HAD
  • 00:41:30.311 --> 00:41:32.313
  • IT DOES HAPPEN, AND I HADA LADY SAY TO ME RECENTLY,
  • 00:41:32.379 --> 00:41:33.314
  • A LADY SAY TO ME RECENTLY,SHE SAID, "GARY, MY
  • 00:41:33.380 --> 00:41:33.847
  • SHE SAID, "GARY, MYHUSBAND AND I HAVE THE
  • 00:41:33.914 --> 00:41:34.615
  • HUSBAND AND I HAVE THESAME LOVE LANGUAGE."
  • 00:41:34.682 --> 00:41:35.316
  • SAME LOVE LANGUAGE."I SAID, "WONDERFUL.
  • 00:41:35.382 --> 00:41:35.983
  • I SAID, "WONDERFUL.WHAT IS IT?"
  • 00:41:36.050 --> 00:41:36.784
  • WHAT IS IT?"SHE SAID, "ACTS OF SERVICE,
  • 00:41:36.850 --> 00:41:38.519
  • SHE SAID, "ACTS OF SERVICE,BUT," SHE SAID,
  • 00:41:38.586 --> 00:41:41.422
  • BUT," SHE SAID,"THE THINGS I WANT HIM TO
  • 00:41:41.488 --> 00:41:42.289
  • "THE THINGS I WANT HIM TODO THAT MAKE ME FEEL LOVED
  • 00:41:42.356 --> 00:41:42.890
  • DO THAT MAKE ME FEEL LOVEDARE DIFFERENT FROM THE
  • 00:41:42.957 --> 00:41:44.425
  • ARE DIFFERENT FROM THETHINGS HE WANTS ME TO DO
  • 00:41:44.491 --> 00:41:44.992
  • THINGS HE WANTS ME TO DOTO MAKE HIM FEEL LOVED."
  • 00:41:45.059 --> 00:41:46.760
  • TO MAKE HIM FEEL LOVED."- MATT: THERE YOU GO.
  • 00:41:46.827 --> 00:41:47.494
  • - MATT: THERE YOU GO.- DR. CHAPMAN: SAME
  • 00:41:47.561 --> 00:41:49.897
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: SAMELANGUAGE, JUST DIFFERENT
  • 00:41:49.964 --> 00:41:50.431
  • LANGUAGE, JUST DIFFERENTDIALECTS.
  • 00:41:50.497 --> 00:41:50.965
  • DIALECTS.- MATT: GOT IT.
  • 00:41:51.031 --> 00:41:51.398
  • - MATT: GOT IT.INTERESTING.
  • 00:41:51.465 --> 00:41:51.999
  • INTERESTING.- LAURIE: OKAY, WE HAVE A
  • 00:41:52.066 --> 00:41:52.866
  • - LAURIE: OKAY, WE HAVE ALOT OF PEOPLE WATCHING
  • 00:41:52.933 --> 00:41:53.334
  • LOT OF PEOPLE WATCHINGTODAY THAT, AS FUNNY AND
  • 00:41:53.400 --> 00:41:57.137
  • TODAY THAT, AS FUNNY ANDFUNNY AS IT ALL CAN GET,
  • 00:41:57.204 --> 00:41:59.106
  • FUNNY AS IT ALL CAN GET,IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.
  • 00:41:59.173 --> 00:42:03.344
  • IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT
  • 00:42:03.410 --> 00:42:05.212
  • THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANTTHING THAT YOU HAVE DONE,
  • 00:42:05.279 --> 00:42:06.614
  • THING THAT YOU HAVE DONE,AND I KNOW THERE ARE
  • 00:42:06.680 --> 00:42:08.816
  • AND I KNOW THERE AREPEOPLE SITTING OUT THERE--
  • 00:42:08.882 --> 00:42:10.551
  • PEOPLE SITTING OUT THERE--YOU MIGHT BE MARRIED A
  • 00:42:10.618 --> 00:42:13.253
  • YOU MIGHT BE MARRIED AYEAR; YOU MIGHT'VE BEEN
  • 00:42:13.320 --> 00:42:14.421
  • YEAR; YOU MIGHT'VE BEENMARRIED 50-- THAT ARE
  • 00:42:14.488 --> 00:42:15.022
  • MARRIED 50-- THAT ARESITTING ON THE COUCH,
  • 00:42:15.089 --> 00:42:15.789
  • SITTING ON THE COUCH,SAYIN', "MAN, I NEED THIS.
  • 00:42:15.856 --> 00:42:17.524
  • SAYIN', "MAN, I NEED THIS.I NEED TO BECAUSE I DON'T
  • 00:42:17.591 --> 00:42:21.195
  • I NEED TO BECAUSE I DON'TFEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE.
  • 00:42:21.261 --> 00:42:22.463
  • FEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE.IT'S BEEN 50 YEARS.
  • 00:42:22.529 --> 00:42:22.997
  • IT'S BEEN 50 YEARS.NEITHER ONE OF US ARE
  • 00:42:23.063 --> 00:42:24.465
  • NEITHER ONE OF US AREGOIN' ANYWHERE, BUT I
  • 00:42:24.531 --> 00:42:26.333
  • GOIN' ANYWHERE, BUT IWOULD LOVE TO FEEL THAT AGAIN."
  • 00:42:26.400 --> 00:42:28.602
  • WOULD LOVE TO FEEL THAT AGAIN."CAN YOU JUST MINISTER?
  • 00:42:28.669 --> 00:42:30.337
  • CAN YOU JUST MINISTER?CAN YOU JUST LOOK AT THE
  • 00:42:30.404 --> 00:42:30.904
  • CAN YOU JUST LOOK AT THECAMERAS AND JUST MINISTER
  • 00:42:30.971 --> 00:42:31.905
  • CAMERAS AND JUST MINISTERTO OUR PEOPLE AND MAYBE
  • 00:42:31.972 --> 00:42:32.506
  • TO OUR PEOPLE AND MAYBEPRAY?
  • 00:42:32.573 --> 00:42:33.874
  • PRAY?- DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,
  • 00:42:33.941 --> 00:42:34.375
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,SURE.
  • 00:42:34.441 --> 00:42:34.775
  • SURE.- LAURIE: PRAY FOR
  • 00:42:34.842 --> 00:42:35.209
  • - LAURIE: PRAY FOREVERYBODY.
  • 00:42:35.275 --> 00:42:36.477
  • EVERYBODY.- DR. CHAPMAN: SURE, I'D BE
  • 00:42:36.543 --> 00:42:37.077
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: SURE, I'D BEHAPPY TO.
  • 00:42:37.144 --> 00:42:37.378
  • HAPPY TO.I THINK WHAT ALL OF US
  • 00:42:37.444 --> 00:42:38.379
  • I THINK WHAT ALL OF USDESIRE IS TO HAVE WARM,
  • 00:42:38.445 --> 00:42:38.912
  • DESIRE IS TO HAVE WARM,LOVING, CARING RELATIONSHIPS,
  • 00:42:38.979 --> 00:42:40.114
  • LOVING, CARING RELATIONSHIPS,WHETHER IT'S MARRIAGE
  • 00:42:40.180 --> 00:42:45.586
  • WHETHER IT'S MARRIAGEOR WITH OUR CHILDREN,
  • 00:42:45.653 --> 00:42:46.954
  • OR WITH OUR CHILDREN,OUR YOUNG CHILDREN,
  • 00:42:47.021 --> 00:42:48.355
  • OUR YOUNG CHILDREN,OUR GROWN CHILDREN.
  • 00:42:48.422 --> 00:42:50.391
  • OUR GROWN CHILDREN.NONE OF US ENJOY FRACTURED
  • 00:42:50.457 --> 00:42:51.625
  • NONE OF US ENJOY FRACTUREDRELATIONSHIPS, AND SO, YOU
  • 00:42:51.692 --> 00:42:52.926
  • RELATIONSHIPS, AND SO, YOUKNOW, WE CAN APOLOGIZE FOR
  • 00:42:52.993 --> 00:42:55.596
  • KNOW, WE CAN APOLOGIZE FOROUR FAILURES AND THEN
  • 00:42:55.663 --> 00:42:57.698
  • OUR FAILURES AND THENSTART LOVING AND SEEKING
  • 00:42:57.765 --> 00:42:59.299
  • START LOVING AND SEEKINGTO LEARN AND SPEAK EACH
  • 00:42:59.366 --> 00:43:01.135
  • TO LEARN AND SPEAK EACHOTHER'S LOVE LANGUAGE, AND
  • 00:43:01.201 --> 00:43:01.969
  • OTHER'S LOVE LANGUAGE, ANDWE DO.
  • 00:43:02.036 --> 00:43:03.904
  • WE DO.WE REBUILD A MARRIAGE
  • 00:43:03.971 --> 00:43:06.006
  • WE REBUILD A MARRIAGERELATIONSHIP OR THE
  • 00:43:06.073 --> 00:43:07.841
  • RELATIONSHIP OR THEFRIENDSHIP, AND THAT'S MY
  • 00:43:07.908 --> 00:43:09.309
  • FRIENDSHIP, AND THAT'S MYDESIRE.
  • 00:43:09.376 --> 00:43:09.977
  • DESIRE.THAT'S MY HEART, AND IT'S
  • 00:43:10.044 --> 00:43:10.644
  • THAT'S MY HEART, AND IT'SON GOD'S HEART.
  • 00:43:10.711 --> 00:43:12.046
  • ON GOD'S HEART.GOD WANTS TO BRING PEOPLE
  • 00:43:12.112 --> 00:43:13.714
  • GOD WANTS TO BRING PEOPLETOGETHER.
  • 00:43:13.781 --> 00:43:15.482
  • TOGETHER.SO LET'S PRAY TOGETHER.
  • 00:43:15.549 --> 00:43:17.151
  • SO LET'S PRAY TOGETHER.FATHER, THANK YOU THAT YOU
  • 00:43:17.217 --> 00:43:19.620
  • FATHER, THANK YOU THAT YOUCARE ABOUT US MORE THAN WE
  • 00:43:19.687 --> 00:43:21.488
  • CARE ABOUT US MORE THAN WECARE ABOUT EACH OTHER AND
  • 00:43:21.555 --> 00:43:25.025
  • CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER ANDTHAT YOU WANNA USE US AS
  • 00:43:25.092 --> 00:43:26.460
  • THAT YOU WANNA USE US ASINSTRUMENTS OF ENRICHING
  • 00:43:26.527 --> 00:43:26.960
  • INSTRUMENTS OF ENRICHINGTHE LIVES OF THE PEOPLE IN
  • 00:43:27.027 --> 00:43:28.262
  • THE LIVES OF THE PEOPLE INOUR FAMILY AND THE PEOPLE
  • 00:43:28.328 --> 00:43:29.563
  • OUR FAMILY AND THE PEOPLEBEYOND OUR FAMILY THAT WE
  • 00:43:29.630 --> 00:43:30.764
  • BEYOND OUR FAMILY THAT WEENCOUNTER THROUGHOUT THE
  • 00:43:30.831 --> 00:43:31.865
  • ENCOUNTER THROUGHOUT THEDAY.
  • 00:43:31.932 --> 00:43:34.435
  • DAY.I DO PRAY, FATHER, FOR
  • 00:43:34.501 --> 00:43:35.903
  • I DO PRAY, FATHER, FORTHOSE WHO ARE STRUGGLING,
  • 00:43:35.969 --> 00:43:36.570
  • THOSE WHO ARE STRUGGLING,WHETHER IT'S A MARRIAGE
  • 00:43:36.637 --> 00:43:37.971
  • WHETHER IT'S A MARRIAGERELATIONSHIP OR
  • 00:43:38.038 --> 00:43:39.740
  • RELATIONSHIP ORPARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP.
  • 00:43:39.807 --> 00:43:41.709
  • PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP.I PRAY THAT YOUR SPIRIT
  • 00:43:41.775 --> 00:43:43.343
  • I PRAY THAT YOUR SPIRITWILL TOUCH THEIR SPIRIT.
  • 00:43:43.410 --> 00:43:45.312
  • WILL TOUCH THEIR SPIRIT.GIVE THEM A DEEP DESIRE TO
  • 00:43:45.379 --> 00:43:47.081
  • GIVE THEM A DEEP DESIRE TOACKNOWLEDGE THEIR OWN
  • 00:43:47.147 --> 00:43:48.449
  • ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR OWNFAILURES IN THE PAST AND
  • 00:43:48.515 --> 00:43:49.850
  • FAILURES IN THE PAST ANDTO APOLOGIZE TO YOU AND
  • 00:43:49.917 --> 00:43:51.919
  • TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU ANDAPOLOGIZE TO THE OTHER
  • 00:43:51.985 --> 00:43:53.320
  • APOLOGIZE TO THE OTHERPERSON AND REQUEST
  • 00:43:53.387 --> 00:43:54.922
  • PERSON AND REQUESTFORGIVENESS, AND I PRAY
  • 00:43:54.988 --> 00:43:56.457
  • FORGIVENESS, AND I PRAYTHAT YOU'D GIVE A SPIRIT
  • 00:43:56.523 --> 00:43:57.658
  • THAT YOU'D GIVE A SPIRITOF FORGIVENESS TO THOSE
  • 00:43:57.725 --> 00:43:59.093
  • OF FORGIVENESS TO THOSEWHO HEAR AN APOLOGY.
  • 00:43:59.159 --> 00:43:59.827
  • WHO HEAR AN APOLOGY.AND THEN, FATHER, GIVE
  • 00:43:59.893 --> 00:44:01.528
  • AND THEN, FATHER, GIVETHEM A DEEP DESIRE TO
  • 00:44:01.595 --> 00:44:03.263
  • THEM A DEEP DESIRE TOEXPERIENCE WHAT WE'VE BEEN
  • 00:44:03.330 --> 00:44:04.331
  • EXPERIENCE WHAT WE'VE BEENTALKING ABOUT, TO HAVE THE
  • 00:44:04.398 --> 00:44:06.166
  • TALKING ABOUT, TO HAVE THEKIND OF MARRIAGE THEY
  • 00:44:06.233 --> 00:44:06.934
  • KIND OF MARRIAGE THEYTHOUGHT THEY WANTED WHEN
  • 00:44:07.000 --> 00:44:09.036
  • THOUGHT THEY WANTED WHENTHEY GOT MARRIED, TO HAVE
  • 00:44:09.103 --> 00:44:10.637
  • THEY GOT MARRIED, TO HAVETHE KIND OF RELATIONSHIP
  • 00:44:10.704 --> 00:44:12.372
  • THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIPWITH THEIR ADULT CHILDREN
  • 00:44:12.439 --> 00:44:14.274
  • WITH THEIR ADULT CHILDRENTHAT THEY WANTED TO HAVE
  • 00:44:14.341 --> 00:44:16.376
  • THAT THEY WANTED TO HAVEALL ALONG THROUGH THOSE
  • 00:44:16.443 --> 00:44:16.910
  • ALL ALONG THROUGH THOSEYEARS.
  • 00:44:16.977 --> 00:44:17.611
  • YEARS.I PRAY, FATHER, YOU WOULD
  • 00:44:17.678 --> 00:44:18.178
  • I PRAY, FATHER, YOU WOULDBRING HEALING TO
  • 00:44:18.245 --> 00:44:19.546
  • BRING HEALING TORELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE WE
  • 00:44:19.613 --> 00:44:21.115
  • RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE WETALKED TODAY ABOUT THIS
  • 00:44:21.181 --> 00:44:22.483
  • TALKED TODAY ABOUT THISTOPIC, AND WE KNOW THAT
  • 00:44:22.549 --> 00:44:24.118
  • TOPIC, AND WE KNOW THATYOU ARE ALWAYS THERE TO
  • 00:44:24.184 --> 00:44:25.519
  • YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE TOHELP US DO EXACTLY WHAT
  • 00:44:25.586 --> 00:44:26.653
  • HELP US DO EXACTLY WHATYOU'VE ASKED US TO DO, AND
  • 00:44:26.720 --> 00:44:27.888
  • YOU'VE ASKED US TO DO, ANDTHAT IS TO LOVE THOSE EVEN
  • 00:44:27.955 --> 00:44:30.524
  • THAT IS TO LOVE THOSE EVENWHO ARE UNLOVELY, JUST AS
  • 00:44:30.591 --> 00:44:32.793
  • WHO ARE UNLOVELY, JUST ASYOU LOVED US WHEN WE WERE
  • 00:44:32.860 --> 00:44:34.228
  • YOU LOVED US WHEN WE WEREUNLOVELY.
  • 00:44:34.294 --> 00:44:35.195
  • UNLOVELY.IN THE NAME OF CHRIST,
  • 00:44:35.262 --> 00:44:35.963
  • IN THE NAME OF CHRIST,I PRAY, AMEN.
  • 00:44:36.029 --> 00:44:37.965
  • I PRAY, AMEN.- LAURIE: AMEN.
  • 00:44:38.031 --> 00:44:38.465
  • - LAURIE: AMEN.- MATT: BEAUTIFUL, AMEN.
  • 00:44:38.532 --> 00:44:39.032
  • - MATT: BEAUTIFUL, AMEN.- LAURIE: SO I WAS AT THE
  • 00:44:39.099 --> 00:44:41.869
  • - LAURIE: SO I WAS AT THESTORE LAST NIGHT, AND I
  • 00:44:41.935 --> 00:44:43.103
  • STORE LAST NIGHT, AND IFOUND THIS PERFECT LITTLE
  • 00:44:43.170 --> 00:44:46.273
  • FOUND THIS PERFECT LITTLECARD, VALENTINE'S DAY
  • 00:44:46.340 --> 00:44:47.541
  • CARD, VALENTINE'S DAYCARD FOR MATT, AND JUST TO
  • 00:44:47.608 --> 00:44:51.378
  • CARD FOR MATT, AND JUST TOSHOW HOW POWERFUL THE BOOK
  • 00:44:51.445 --> 00:44:52.412
  • SHOW HOW POWERFUL THE BOOKIS, IT SAYS, "YOU SPEAK
  • 00:44:52.479 --> 00:44:53.514
  • IS, IT SAYS, "YOU SPEAKALL OF MY LOVE LANGUAGES."
  • 00:44:53.580 --> 00:44:55.682
  • ALL OF MY LOVE LANGUAGES."[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:44:55.749 --> 00:44:57.451
  • [LAUGHTER]ISN'T THAT CUTE?
  • 00:44:57.518 --> 00:44:57.985
  • ISN'T THAT CUTE?SO I JUST WANTED TO SHOW
  • 00:44:58.051 --> 00:44:59.653
  • SO I JUST WANTED TO SHOWEVERYBODY.
  • 00:44:59.720 --> 00:45:00.220
  • EVERYBODY.- MATT: THAT'S SO SWEET.
  • 00:45:00.287 --> 00:45:01.221
  • - MATT: THAT'S SO SWEET.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:45:01.288 --> 00:45:03.991
  • [LAUGHTER]- LAURIE: SO WE'RE GONNA
  • 00:45:04.057 --> 00:45:05.058
  • - LAURIE: SO WE'RE GONNAWORK ON IT WHEN WE GET HOME.
  • 00:45:05.125 --> 00:45:07.494
  • WORK ON IT WHEN WE GET HOME.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:45:07.561 --> 00:45:09.329
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: OKAY, LET'S GET A
  • 00:45:09.396 --> 00:45:12.432
  • - MATT: OKAY, LET'S GET ACOUPLE OF THINGS KIND OF
  • 00:45:12.499 --> 00:45:14.468
  • COUPLE OF THINGS KIND OFREVISITED AS WE GO OUT.
  • 00:45:14.535 --> 00:45:18.105
  • REVISITED AS WE GO OUT.NUMBER ONE "NEW YORK TIMES"
  • 00:45:18.172 --> 00:45:19.807
  • NUMBER ONE "NEW YORK TIMES"BEST-SELLER
  • 00:45:19.873 --> 00:45:20.407
  • BEST-SELLERDR. GARY CHAPMAN'S BEEN
  • 00:45:20.474 --> 00:45:22.743
  • DR. GARY CHAPMAN'S BEENSITTING WITH US ON THIS
  • 00:45:22.810 --> 00:45:23.710
  • SITTING WITH US ON THIS"PRAISE."
  • 00:45:23.777 --> 00:45:25.045
  • WE'VE BEEN UNPACKING THE
  • 00:45:25.712 --> 00:45:26.180
  • WE'VE BEEN UNPACKING THETBN SPECIAL EDITION, AND
  • 00:45:26.246 --> 00:45:29.283
  • TBN SPECIAL EDITION, ANDTHE 800 NUMBER IS ON THE
  • 00:45:29.349 --> 00:45:29.783
  • THE 800 NUMBER IS ON THESCREEN OR THE WEBSITE.
  • 00:45:29.850 --> 00:45:31.885
  • SCREEN OR THE WEBSITE.GO AND GET THE BOOK.
  • 00:45:31.952 --> 00:45:32.452
  • GO AND GET THE BOOK.THIS BOOK IS A PHENOMENON.
  • 00:45:32.519 --> 00:45:37.057
  • - TOM: HELLO, FRIENDS,
  • 00:45:38.559 --> 00:45:39.626
  • - TOM: HELLO, FRIENDS,IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT
  • 00:45:39.693 --> 00:45:40.994
  • IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THATJUST A SHORT WHILE BACK, I
  • 00:45:41.061 --> 00:45:42.362
  • JUST A SHORT WHILE BACK, IFOUND MYSELF IN MOSCOW
  • 00:45:42.429 --> 00:45:43.964
  • FOUND MYSELF IN MOSCOWWITH MATT AND LAURIE CROUCH.
  • 00:45:44.031 --> 00:45:45.399
  • IT WAS A SURREAL SCENE
  • 00:45:45.966 --> 00:45:47.167
  • IT WAS A SURREAL SCENEI'LL NEVER FORGET.
  • 00:45:47.234 --> 00:45:49.136
  • I'LL NEVER FORGET.THERE I WAS WITH MATT
  • 00:45:49.203 --> 00:45:49.636
  • THERE I WAS WITH MATTINTERVIEWING THE FORMER
  • 00:45:49.703 --> 00:45:51.638
  • INTERVIEWING THE FORMERHEAD OF THE SOVIET UNION,
  • 00:45:51.705 --> 00:45:53.040
  • HEAD OF THE SOVIET UNION,MIKHAIL GORBACHEV, ABOUT
  • 00:45:53.106 --> 00:45:55.075
  • MIKHAIL GORBACHEV, ABOUTHIS FAITH.
  • 00:45:55.142 --> 00:45:56.710
  • HIS FAITH.WE SAT TOGETHER TALKING
  • 00:45:56.777 --> 00:45:57.411
  • WE SAT TOGETHER TALKINGFOR OVER TWO AND A HALF
  • 00:45:57.477 --> 00:45:58.612
  • FOR OVER TWO AND A HALFDAYS ABOUT THE HISTORY OF
  • 00:45:58.679 --> 00:45:59.780
  • DAYS ABOUT THE HISTORY OFTHE COLD WAR, THE
  • 00:45:59.847 --> 00:46:01.281
  • THE COLD WAR, THERELATIONSHIP OF OUR TWO
  • 00:46:01.348 --> 00:46:02.783
  • RELATIONSHIP OF OUR TWOCOUNTRIES, AND FAITH.
  • 00:46:02.850 --> 00:46:05.085
  • COUNTRIES, AND FAITH.AND THE MOST AMAZING
  • 00:46:05.152 --> 00:46:07.154
  • AND THE MOST AMAZINGMOMENT CAME WHEN MATT
  • 00:46:07.221 --> 00:46:08.755
  • MOMENT CAME WHEN MATTASKED PRESIDENT GORBACHEV,
  • 00:46:08.822 --> 00:46:10.657
  • ASKED PRESIDENT GORBACHEV,POINT-BLANK, "DO YOU
  • 00:46:10.724 --> 00:46:11.425
  • POINT-BLANK, "DO YOUBELIEVE, MR. PRESIDENT, IT
  • 00:46:11.491 --> 00:46:12.459
  • BELIEVE, MR. PRESIDENT, ITWAS GOD'S WILL THAT YOU
  • 00:46:12.526 --> 00:46:13.227
  • WAS GOD'S WILL THAT YOUAND PRESIDENT REAGAN CAME
  • 00:46:13.293 --> 00:46:15.262
  • AND PRESIDENT REAGAN CAMETO POWER AT THE SAME
  • 00:46:15.329 --> 00:46:17.731
  • TO POWER AT THE SAMETIME?"
  • 00:46:17.798 --> 00:46:18.966
  • TIME?"HIS ANSWER, "DA," WHICH,
  • 00:46:19.032 --> 00:46:19.800
  • HIS ANSWER, "DA," WHICH,OF COURSE, MEANS, "YES."
  • 00:46:19.867 --> 00:46:21.435
  • OF COURSE, MEANS, "YES."AND WITH THAT, HE BOLDLY
  • 00:46:21.501 --> 00:46:21.969
  • AND WITH THAT, HE BOLDLYPROCLAIMED HIS BELIEF IN
  • 00:46:22.035 --> 00:46:23.604
  • PROCLAIMED HIS BELIEF INGOD'S SOVEREIGNTY.
  • 00:46:23.670 --> 00:46:26.573
  • GOD'S SOVEREIGNTY.THAT HISTORIC EXPERIENCE
  • 00:46:26.640 --> 00:46:27.841
  • THAT HISTORIC EXPERIENCEREMINDED ME JUST HOW
  • 00:46:27.908 --> 00:46:28.609
  • REMINDED ME JUST HOWPOWERFUL TBN'S MISSION IS,
  • 00:46:28.675 --> 00:46:32.179
  • POWERFUL TBN'S MISSION IS,BROADCASTING THE MESSAGE
  • 00:46:32.246 --> 00:46:34.414
  • BROADCASTING THE MESSAGEOF THE GOSPEL ACROSS THE
  • 00:46:34.481 --> 00:46:35.148
  • OF THE GOSPEL ACROSS THEWORLD SO EVERYONE WILL
  • 00:46:35.215 --> 00:46:36.617
  • WORLD SO EVERYONE WILLHEAR, EVEN IN NATIONS
  • 00:46:36.683 --> 00:46:37.985
  • HEAR, EVEN IN NATIONSWHERE THE GOOD NEWS CANNOT
  • 00:46:38.051 --> 00:46:40.053
  • WHERE THE GOOD NEWS CANNOTBE OPENLY PROCLAIMED.
  • 00:46:40.120 --> 00:46:41.922
  • FRIENDS, WHEN YOU SUPPORT
  • 00:46:42.656 --> 00:46:44.892
  • FRIENDS, WHEN YOU SUPPORTTBN, YOU ARE LITERALLY
  • 00:46:44.958 --> 00:46:45.425
  • TBN, YOU ARE LITERALLYHELPING CHANGE THE ENTIRE
  • 00:46:45.492 --> 00:46:47.094
  • HELPING CHANGE THE ENTIREWORLD WITH THE LOVE OF
  • 00:46:47.160 --> 00:46:48.061
  • WORLD WITH THE LOVE OFCHRIST, AND WE'D LIKE TO
  • 00:46:48.128 --> 00:46:49.997
  • CHRIST, AND WE'D LIKE TOINVITE YOU TO PARTNER WITH
  • 00:46:50.063 --> 00:46:51.031
  • INVITE YOU TO PARTNER WITHOUR MISSION.
  • 00:46:51.098 --> 00:46:53.000
  • OUR MISSION.AND AS OUR WAY OF SAYING
  • 00:46:53.066 --> 00:46:54.668
  • AND AS OUR WAY OF SAYINGTHANK YOU FOR DOING THAT,
  • 00:46:54.735 --> 00:46:55.869
  • THANK YOU FOR DOING THAT,YOUR GIFT OF SUPPORT IN
  • 00:46:55.936 --> 00:46:57.738
  • YOUR GIFT OF SUPPORT INANY AMOUNT THIS MONTH,
  • 00:46:57.804 --> 00:46:59.907
  • ANY AMOUNT THIS MONTH,WE'LL SEND YOU "LOVE LIKE
  • 00:46:59.973 --> 00:47:02.643
  • WE'LL SEND YOU "LOVE LIKETHAT: RELATIONSHIP SECRETS
  • 00:47:02.709 --> 00:47:03.810
  • THAT: RELATIONSHIP SECRETSFROM JESUS," BY LES PARROTT.
  • 00:47:03.877 --> 00:47:05.045
  • FROM JESUS," BY LES PARROTT.- LES PARROTT: WHEN JESUS
  • 00:47:05.112 --> 00:47:06.747
  • - LES PARROTT: WHEN JESUSTALKED TO US ABOUT LOVING
  • 00:47:06.813 --> 00:47:07.481
  • TALKED TO US ABOUT LOVINGLIKE HE LOVES, IT WASN'T
  • 00:47:07.547 --> 00:47:08.882
  • LIKE HE LOVES, IT WASN'TSOME POETIC NOTION OF
  • 00:47:08.949 --> 00:47:11.585
  • SOME POETIC NOTION OF"HEY, WOULDN'T THAT BE
  • 00:47:11.652 --> 00:47:12.386
  • "HEY, WOULDN'T THAT BEAWESOME?
  • 00:47:12.452 --> 00:47:13.453
  • AWESOME?WOULDN'T THAT BE COOL?"
  • 00:47:13.520 --> 00:47:14.488
  • WOULDN'T THAT BE COOL?"NO, HE WAS SAYING,
  • 00:47:14.554 --> 00:47:15.355
  • NO, HE WAS SAYING,"YOU CAN DO THIS."
  • 00:47:15.422 --> 00:47:15.923
  • "YOU CAN DO THIS."- MATT: THIS IS LITERALLY
  • 00:47:15.989 --> 00:47:18.025
  • - MATT: THIS IS LITERALLYONE OF THE BEST BOOKS
  • 00:47:18.091 --> 00:47:19.192
  • ONE OF THE BEST BOOKSI'VE EVER READ IN MY
  • 00:47:19.259 --> 00:47:20.594
  • I'VE EVER READ IN MYWHOLE LIFE.
  • 00:47:20.661 --> 00:47:21.561
  • WHOLE LIFE.- TOM: WE'LL ALSO ENCLOSE
  • 00:47:21.628 --> 00:47:22.629
  • - TOM: WE'LL ALSO ENCLOSETHE ICONIC BOOK
  • 00:47:22.696 --> 00:47:23.864
  • THE ICONIC BOOK"THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES,"
  • 00:47:23.931 --> 00:47:25.332
  • "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES,"BY GARY CHAPMAN, THAT TEACH
  • 00:47:25.399 --> 00:47:27.301
  • BY GARY CHAPMAN, THAT TEACHCOUPLES HOW TO FALL IN
  • 00:47:27.367 --> 00:47:29.102
  • COUPLES HOW TO FALL INLOVE AND TO STAY IN LOVE.
  • 00:47:29.169 --> 00:47:31.571
  • LOVE AND TO STAY IN LOVE.- DR. CHAPMAN: WE LOVE
  • 00:47:31.638 --> 00:47:32.439
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: WE LOVEGOD BECAUSE GOD FIRST
  • 00:47:32.506 --> 00:47:33.040
  • GOD BECAUSE GOD FIRSTLOVED US.
  • 00:47:33.106 --> 00:47:34.508
  • LOVED US.IN A MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP
  • 00:47:34.574 --> 00:47:35.075
  • IN A MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPOR ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP,
  • 00:47:35.142 --> 00:47:37.611
  • OR ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP,WE HAVE TO TAKE THE
  • 00:47:37.678 --> 00:47:38.578
  • WE HAVE TO TAKE THEINITIATIVE.
  • 00:47:38.645 --> 00:47:39.046
  • INITIATIVE.IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER
  • 00:47:39.112 --> 00:47:39.746
  • IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHERIT'S THE HUSBAND OR WIFE.
  • 00:47:39.813 --> 00:47:40.314
  • IT'S THE HUSBAND OR WIFE.ONE PERSON CAN TAKE THE
  • 00:47:40.380 --> 00:47:41.415
  • ONE PERSON CAN TAKE THEINITIATIVE.
  • 00:47:41.481 --> 00:47:42.282
  • INITIATIVE.IT INFLUENCES THE OTHER
  • 00:47:42.349 --> 00:47:43.317
  • IT INFLUENCES THE OTHERPERSON.
  • 00:47:43.383 --> 00:47:43.850
  • PERSON.LOVE STIMULATES LOVE.
  • 00:47:43.917 --> 00:47:45.552
  • LOVE STIMULATES LOVE.- TOM: AND BOTH RUNAWAY
  • 00:47:45.619 --> 00:47:47.020
  • - TOM: AND BOTH RUNAWAYBEST SELLERS ARE YOURS
  • 00:47:47.087 --> 00:47:48.388
  • BEST SELLERS ARE YOURSWITH OUR APPRECIATION FOR
  • 00:47:48.455 --> 00:47:49.790
  • WITH OUR APPRECIATION FORA GIFT OF $35 OR MORE.
  • 00:47:49.856 --> 00:47:51.224
  • A GIFT OF $35 OR MORE.FRIENDS, WHEN YOU MAKE
  • 00:47:51.291 --> 00:47:55.729
  • FRIENDS, WHEN YOU MAKEYOUR TAX-DEDUCTIBLE GIFT
  • 00:47:55.796 --> 00:47:56.463
  • YOUR TAX-DEDUCTIBLE GIFTTO TBN, YOU'RE JOINING
  • 00:47:56.530 --> 00:47:57.397
  • TO TBN, YOU'RE JOININGHANDS IN THE GLOBAL
  • 00:47:57.464 --> 00:47:57.998
  • HANDS IN THE GLOBALMISSION TO CHANGE THE
  • 00:47:58.065 --> 00:47:59.666
  • MISSION TO CHANGE THEWORLD WITH THE LOVE OF
  • 00:47:59.733 --> 00:48:01.335
  • WORLD WITH THE LOVE OFJESUS.
  • 00:48:01.401 --> 00:48:02.369
  • JESUS.WE'RE GRATEFUL FOR YOU.
  • 00:48:02.436 --> 00:48:03.203
  • WE'RE GRATEFUL FOR YOU.OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY
  • 00:48:03.270 --> 00:48:04.404
  • OPERATORS ARE STANDING BYRIGHT NOW.
  • 00:48:04.471 --> 00:48:05.172
  • RIGHT NOW.PLEASE DON'T DELAY, BUT
  • 00:48:05.238 --> 00:48:06.039
  • PLEASE DON'T DELAY, BUTCALL US.
  • 00:48:06.106 --> 00:48:06.974
  • CALL US.THANK YOU.
  • 00:48:07.040 --> 00:48:08.542
  • - MATT: I WANTED YOU TO
  • 00:48:09.209 --> 00:48:12.012
  • - MATT: I WANTED YOU TOTOUCH ON ONE THING BEFORE
  • 00:48:12.079 --> 00:48:12.679
  • TOUCH ON ONE THING BEFORETHE FINAL STORY AND
  • 00:48:12.746 --> 00:48:13.780
  • THE FINAL STORY ANDTHAT IS HELP SAM AND
  • 00:48:13.847 --> 00:48:17.517
  • THAT IS HELP SAM ANDMADGE, WHO ARE SITTING ON
  • 00:48:17.584 --> 00:48:19.353
  • MADGE, WHO ARE SITTING ONTHE COUCH, WITH THAT
  • 00:48:19.419 --> 00:48:23.790
  • THE COUCH, WITH THATCONCEPT THAT THEY'VE GOTTA
  • 00:48:23.857 --> 00:48:25.292
  • CONCEPT THAT THEY'VE GOTTATAKE ONE STEP, YOU KNOW,
  • 00:48:25.359 --> 00:48:27.127
  • TAKE ONE STEP, YOU KNOW,AND THAT, AS RIDICULOUSLY
  • 00:48:27.194 --> 00:48:30.430
  • AND THAT, AS RIDICULOUSLYUNCOMFORTABLE AS THAT ONE
  • 00:48:30.497 --> 00:48:32.699
  • UNCOMFORTABLE AS THAT ONESTEP MIGHT FEEL, YOU HAVE
  • 00:48:32.766 --> 00:48:34.835
  • STEP MIGHT FEEL, YOU HAVESAT AND HEARD THE STORIES.
  • 00:48:34.901 --> 00:48:37.671
  • SAT AND HEARD THE STORIES.YOU ARE THE EXPERT AT
  • 00:48:37.738 --> 00:48:39.873
  • YOU ARE THE EXPERT ATUNDERSTANDING THIS CONCEPT
  • 00:48:39.940 --> 00:48:42.609
  • UNDERSTANDING THIS CONCEPTTHAT IT REALLY CAN CHANGE.
  • 00:48:42.676 --> 00:48:46.313
  • THAT IT REALLY CAN CHANGE.IT REALLY CAN, BUT IT'S
  • 00:48:46.380 --> 00:48:47.647
  • IT REALLY CAN, BUT IT'SNOT GONNA FEEL LIKE
  • 00:48:47.714 --> 00:48:49.182
  • NOT GONNA FEEL LIKESOMETHING THAT YOU'RE
  • 00:48:49.249 --> 00:48:50.584
  • SOMETHING THAT YOU'REGONNA WANNA DO.
  • 00:48:50.650 --> 00:48:51.585
  • GONNA WANNA DO.- DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,
  • 00:48:51.651 --> 00:48:52.853
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,I DON'T EVER ASK COUPLES,
  • 00:48:52.919 --> 00:48:54.221
  • "DO YOU WANT TO WORK ON
  • 00:48:54.955 --> 00:48:55.689
  • "DO YOU WANT TO WORK ONYOUR MARRIAGE?"
  • 00:48:55.756 --> 00:48:56.890
  • YOUR MARRIAGE?"- MATT: GOT IT.
  • 00:48:56.957 --> 00:48:57.457
  • - MATT: GOT IT.- DR. CHAPMAN: BECAUSE,
  • 00:48:57.524 --> 00:48:58.725
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: BECAUSE,WHEN THEY'RE IN MY OFFICE,
  • 00:48:58.792 --> 00:48:59.292
  • WHEN THEY'RE IN MY OFFICE,THEY'VE OFTEN COME, JUST
  • 00:48:59.359 --> 00:49:00.827
  • THEY'VE OFTEN COME, JUSTWANTING SOMEBODY TO AFFIRM
  • 00:49:00.894 --> 00:49:02.162
  • WANTING SOMEBODY TO AFFIRMTHAT IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
  • 00:49:02.229 --> 00:49:03.430
  • THAT IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.- MATT: THERE YOU GO.
  • 00:49:03.497 --> 00:49:04.965
  • - MATT: THERE YOU GO.- DR. CHAPMAN: AND THEY
  • 00:49:05.032 --> 00:49:05.766
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: AND THEYDON'T HAVE THE WANT
  • 00:49:05.832 --> 00:49:06.633
  • THE WANT
  • 00:49:07.300 --> 00:49:08.035
  • THE WANTEMOTIONAL WORD.
  • 00:49:08.101 --> 00:49:09.136
  • EMOTIONAL WORD.THEY DON'T HAVE THE
  • 00:49:09.202 --> 00:49:09.870
  • THEY DON'T HAVE THEWANT
  • 00:49:09.936 --> 00:49:10.570
  • WANTI DON'T EVER ASK, "DO YOU
  • 00:49:10.637 --> 00:49:11.371
  • I DON'T EVER ASK, "DO YOUWANT TO WORK ON THE
  • 00:49:11.438 --> 00:49:11.838
  • WANT TO WORK ON THEMARRIAGE?"
  • 00:49:11.905 --> 00:49:13.173
  • MARRIAGE?"WHAT I ASK IS "WILL YOU
  • 00:49:13.240 --> 00:49:14.341
  • WHAT I ASK IS "WILL YOUWORK ON THE MARRIAGE?"
  • 00:49:14.408 --> 00:49:16.109
  • WORK ON THE MARRIAGE?""WILL" IS A CHOICE, AND I SAY,
  • 00:49:16.176 --> 00:49:17.511
  • "WILL" IS A CHOICE, AND I SAY,"IF YOU WILL WORK ON
  • 00:49:17.577 --> 00:49:20.614
  • "IF YOU WILL WORK ONA MARRIAGE, THEN I'LL BE
  • 00:49:20.680 --> 00:49:21.882
  • A MARRIAGE, THEN I'LL BEWILLIN' TO WORK WITH YOU,
  • 00:49:21.948 --> 00:49:23.717
  • WILLIN' TO WORK WITH YOU,AND I'LL BE WILLIN' TO
  • 00:49:23.784 --> 00:49:25.786
  • AND I'LL BE WILLIN' TOSHARE SOME BOOKS WITH YOU
  • 00:49:25.852 --> 00:49:26.787
  • SHARE SOME BOOKS WITH YOUTHAT YOU CAN READ, AND WE
  • 00:49:26.853 --> 00:49:28.121
  • THAT YOU CAN READ, AND WECAN DISCUSS IF YOU'RE
  • 00:49:28.188 --> 00:49:29.056
  • CAN DISCUSS IF YOU'REWILLING TO WORK ON THE
  • 00:49:29.122 --> 00:49:29.756
  • WILLING TO WORK ON THEMARRIAGE.
  • 00:49:29.823 --> 00:49:31.024
  • MARRIAGE.AND IF YOU'RE WILLING TO
  • 00:49:31.091 --> 00:49:31.958
  • AND IF YOU'RE WILLING TOWORK ON THE MARRIAGE,
  • 00:49:32.025 --> 00:49:34.294
  • WORK ON THE MARRIAGE,WE TAKE THE FIRST STEP,
  • 00:49:34.361 --> 00:49:35.562
  • WE TAKE THE FIRST STEP,THE SECOND STEP,
  • 00:49:35.629 --> 00:49:36.363
  • THE SECOND STEP,THE THIRD STEP."
  • 00:49:36.430 --> 00:49:37.898
  • THE THIRD STEP."AND, OFTEN, THE FIRST STEP
  • 00:49:37.964 --> 00:49:38.598
  • AND, OFTEN, THE FIRST STEPIS APOLOGIZING,
  • 00:49:38.665 --> 00:49:40.233
  • IS APOLOGIZING,TO WHICH I ALLUDED WHEN I
  • 00:49:40.300 --> 00:49:41.034
  • TO WHICH I ALLUDED WHEN IWAS PRAYING.
  • 00:49:41.101 --> 00:49:41.668
  • WAS PRAYING.SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO
  • 00:49:41.735 --> 00:49:42.702
  • SOMETIMES WE HAVE TOAPOLOGIZE FOR PAST FAILURES.
  • 00:49:42.769 --> 00:49:43.737
  • APOLOGIZE FOR PAST FAILURES.- MATT: GOT IT.
  • 00:49:43.804 --> 00:49:44.271
  • - MATT: GOT IT.- DR. CHAPMAN: NOW, WE
  • 00:49:44.337 --> 00:49:45.072
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: NOW, WEALL HAVE THE FEELING,
  • 00:49:45.138 --> 00:49:45.539
  • ALL HAVE THE FEELING,IF IT'S A FRACTURED MARRIAGE,
  • 00:49:45.605 --> 00:49:46.373
  • IF IT'S A FRACTURED MARRIAGE,THEY'RE THE PROBLEM, BUT
  • 00:49:46.440 --> 00:49:47.874
  • THEY'RE THE PROBLEM, BUTJESUS SAID, "GET THE BEAM
  • 00:49:47.941 --> 00:49:49.910
  • JESUS SAID, "GET THE BEAMOUT OF YOUR OWN EYE FIRST,
  • 00:49:49.976 --> 00:49:51.178
  • OUT OF YOUR OWN EYE FIRST,THEN WE WORK ON THEM."
  • 00:49:51.244 --> 00:49:54.748
  • THEN WE WORK ON THEM."SO ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU WHERE
  • 00:49:54.815 --> 00:49:56.416
  • SO ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU WHEREYOU HAVE FAILED IN THE PAST.
  • 00:49:56.483 --> 00:49:57.951
  • YOU HAVE FAILED IN THE PAST.HE'LL ANSWER THAT PRAYER.
  • 00:49:58.018 --> 00:50:00.487
  • HE'LL ANSWER THAT PRAYER.CONFESS YOUR FAILURES TO GOD.
  • 00:50:00.554 --> 00:50:01.655
  • CONFESS YOUR FAILURES TO GOD.APOLOGIZE TO YOUR SPOUSE.
  • 00:50:01.721 --> 00:50:03.723
  • APOLOGIZE TO YOUR SPOUSE.DON'T FORCE THEM TO
  • 00:50:03.790 --> 00:50:05.092
  • DON'T FORCE THEM TOFORGIVE YOU.
  • 00:50:05.158 --> 00:50:07.494
  • FORGIVE YOU.GIVE THEM TIME TO PROCESS
  • 00:50:07.561 --> 00:50:09.029
  • GIVE THEM TIME TO PROCESSIT, BUT THEN CHOOSE TO
  • 00:50:09.096 --> 00:50:10.197
  • IT, BUT THEN CHOOSE TOSTART SPEAKIN' THEIR
  • 00:50:10.263 --> 00:50:12.399
  • START SPEAKIN' THEIRLANGUAGE.
  • 00:50:12.466 --> 00:50:12.866
  • LANGUAGE.- MATT: WOW.
  • 00:50:12.933 --> 00:50:13.400
  • - MATT: WOW.- LAURIE: IT'S A CHOICE.
  • 00:50:13.467 --> 00:50:13.934
  • - LAURIE: IT'S A CHOICE.- MATT: THAT'S AN
  • 00:50:14.000 --> 00:50:14.501
  • - MATT: THAT'S ANIMPORTANT FACTOR.
  • 00:50:14.568 --> 00:50:18.004
  • IMPORTANT FACTOR.SO THE IDEA THAT IT IS AN
  • 00:50:18.071 --> 00:50:18.705
  • SO THE IDEA THAT IT IS ANACT OF WILL, NOT AN
  • 00:50:18.772 --> 00:50:19.239
  • ACT OF WILL, NOT ANEMOTIONAL FEELING.
  • 00:50:19.306 --> 00:50:22.976
  • EMOTIONAL FEELING.YOU'RE GIVING US
  • 00:50:23.043 --> 00:50:24.711
  • YOU'RE GIVING USPERMISSION TO STEP OUT TO,
  • 00:50:24.778 --> 00:50:26.580
  • PERMISSION TO STEP OUT TO,YOU KNOW, JOURNEY DOWN
  • 00:50:26.646 --> 00:50:30.083
  • YOU KNOW, JOURNEY DOWNTHIS ROAD WITH YOU, BUT
  • 00:50:30.150 --> 00:50:32.586
  • THIS ROAD WITH YOU, BUTIT'S NOT GONNA FEEL LIKE
  • 00:50:32.652 --> 00:50:33.487
  • IT'S NOT GONNA FEEL LIKEANYTHING AT FIRST.
  • 00:50:33.553 --> 00:50:34.888
  • ANYTHING AT FIRST.- DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,
  • 00:50:34.955 --> 00:50:35.655
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: YEAH,ABSOLUTELY.
  • 00:50:35.722 --> 00:50:36.823
  • ABSOLUTELY.- LAURIE: IT'S LIKE, WHEN
  • 00:50:36.890 --> 00:50:37.390
  • - LAURIE: IT'S LIKE, WHENTHE LORD SAYS, "IN
  • 00:50:37.457 --> 00:50:38.592
  • THE LORD SAYS, "INEVERYTHING THAT YOU DO, DO
  • 00:50:38.658 --> 00:50:39.759
  • EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO, DOIT AS UNTO THE LORD."
  • 00:50:39.826 --> 00:50:40.360
  • IT AS UNTO THE LORD."I REMEMBER MY LITTLE GRANDMA
  • 00:50:40.427 --> 00:50:43.363
  • I REMEMBER MY LITTLE GRANDMAHAD, YOU KNOW, LIVED WITH
  • 00:50:43.430 --> 00:50:47.000
  • HAD, YOU KNOW, LIVED WITHMY GRANDFATHER FOR 50
  • 00:50:47.067 --> 00:50:49.970
  • MY GRANDFATHER FOR 50YEARS, AND HE PASSED AWAY,
  • 00:50:50.036 --> 00:50:50.904
  • YEARS, AND HE PASSED AWAY,AND SHE'D REMARRIED
  • 00:50:50.971 --> 00:50:52.539
  • AND SHE'D REMARRIEDSOMEONE, AND I REMEMBER,
  • 00:50:52.606 --> 00:50:53.874
  • SOMEONE, AND I REMEMBER,ONE DAY, SHE SAID,
  • 00:50:53.940 --> 00:50:56.176
  • ONE DAY, SHE SAID,"IT GETS HARD,"
  • 00:50:56.243 --> 00:50:58.145
  • "IT GETS HARD,"BECAUSE THEY WERE BOTH OLDER,
  • 00:50:58.211 --> 00:50:58.979
  • BECAUSE THEY WERE BOTH OLDER,AND SHE WAS HELPING HIM
  • 00:50:59.045 --> 00:50:59.579
  • AND SHE WAS HELPING HIMA LOT.
  • 00:50:59.646 --> 00:51:00.380
  • A LOT.SHE SAID, YOU KNOW, SHE SAID,
  • 00:51:00.447 --> 00:51:01.581
  • SHE SAID, YOU KNOW, SHE SAID,"I HAVE JUST CHOSEN THAT
  • 00:51:01.648 --> 00:51:03.183
  • "I HAVE JUST CHOSEN THATI AM GOING TO DO ALL
  • 00:51:03.250 --> 00:51:04.151
  • I AM GOING TO DO ALLOF THIS AND TAKE CARE OF
  • 00:51:04.217 --> 00:51:05.652
  • OF THIS AND TAKE CARE OFHIM AS UNTO THE LORD,"
  • 00:51:05.719 --> 00:51:07.254
  • HIM AS UNTO THE LORD,"AND SHE JUST MADE THAT
  • 00:51:07.320 --> 00:51:08.755
  • AND SHE JUST MADE THATDECISION, AND, BOY, SHE
  • 00:51:08.822 --> 00:51:09.623
  • DECISION, AND, BOY, SHEDID IT WITH FLYING COLORS
  • 00:51:09.689 --> 00:51:11.758
  • DID IT WITH FLYING COLORSEVERY DAY, YOU KNOW, AND
  • 00:51:11.825 --> 00:51:12.526
  • EVERY DAY, YOU KNOW, ANDSOMETIMES WE JUST HAVE TO
  • 00:51:12.592 --> 00:51:13.760
  • SOMETIMES WE JUST HAVE TOGET TO THAT PLACE WHERE
  • 00:51:13.827 --> 00:51:14.294
  • GET TO THAT PLACE WHEREWE'RE JUST GONNA BE
  • 00:51:14.361 --> 00:51:15.629
  • WE'RE JUST GONNA BEOBEDIENT TO WHAT GOD
  • 00:51:15.695 --> 00:51:17.731
  • OBEDIENT TO WHAT GODCOMMANDS US TO DO IN
  • 00:51:17.797 --> 00:51:19.866
  • COMMANDS US TO DO INLOVING AND SERVING OTHERS.
  • 00:51:19.933 --> 00:51:21.034
  • LOVING AND SERVING OTHERS.- DR. CHAPMAN: THAT'S THE
  • 00:51:21.101 --> 00:51:21.968
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: THAT'S THECHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE.
  • 00:51:22.035 --> 00:51:24.604
  • CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE.JESUS SAID, "AS OFTEN AS
  • 00:51:24.671 --> 00:51:25.639
  • JESUS SAID, "AS OFTEN ASYOU DO IT TO THE LEAST OF
  • 00:51:25.705 --> 00:51:26.506
  • YOU DO IT TO THE LEAST OFTHESE, YOU DO IT TO ME."
  • 00:51:26.573 --> 00:51:27.073
  • THESE, YOU DO IT TO ME."SO IF YOU'RE AT THAT
  • 00:51:27.140 --> 00:51:28.975
  • SO IF YOU'RE AT THATPLACE, YOU JUST SAY,
  • 00:51:29.042 --> 00:51:30.277
  • PLACE, YOU JUST SAY,"LORD, I WANNA DO THIS IN
  • 00:51:30.343 --> 00:51:32.879
  • "LORD, I WANNA DO THIS INYOUR POWER.
  • 00:51:32.946 --> 00:51:34.548
  • YOUR POWER.I'M DOIN' TO JESUS."
  • 00:51:34.614 --> 00:51:36.082
  • I'M DOIN' TO JESUS."SO, SEE YOUR SPOUSE AS JESUS
  • 00:51:36.149 --> 00:51:37.083
  • SO, SEE YOUR SPOUSE AS JESUS[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:51:37.150 --> 00:51:38.718
  • [LAUGHTER]AND TREAT THEM LIKE
  • 00:51:38.852 --> 00:51:40.654
  • AND TREAT THEM LIKEYOU'D TREAT JESUS, AND
  • 00:51:40.720 --> 00:51:41.755
  • YOU'D TREAT JESUS, ANDYOU'RE ON A GOOD ROAD.
  • 00:51:41.821 --> 00:51:42.923
  • YOU'RE ON A GOOD ROAD.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:51:42.989 --> 00:51:43.924
  • [LAUGHTER]I'LL GIVE YOU ONE
  • 00:51:43.990 --> 00:51:44.457
  • I'LL GIVE YOU ONEILLUSTRATION: I WENT TO
  • 00:51:44.524 --> 00:51:47.761
  • ILLUSTRATION: I WENT TOHOSPICE TO VISIT.
  • 00:51:47.827 --> 00:51:50.397
  • HOSPICE TO VISIT.I WALKED IN THE ROOM.
  • 00:51:50.463 --> 00:51:54.601
  • I WALKED IN THE ROOM.THE MAN WAS IN THE BED.
  • 00:51:54.668 --> 00:51:55.569
  • THE MAN WAS IN THE BED.THE WIFE WAS SEATED BESIDE
  • 00:51:55.635 --> 00:51:57.137
  • THE WIFE WAS SEATED BESIDEHIM.
  • 00:51:57.204 --> 00:51:59.673
  • HIM.AND, WHEN I WALKED IN, SHE
  • 00:51:59.739 --> 00:52:00.574
  • AND, WHEN I WALKED IN, SHESAID, "DR. CHAPMAN,
  • 00:52:00.640 --> 00:52:03.610
  • SAID, "DR. CHAPMAN,I'M GLAD YOU'RE
  • 00:52:03.677 --> 00:52:04.611
  • I'M GLAD YOU'REHERE BECAUSE WE'RE
  • 00:52:04.678 --> 00:52:05.078
  • HERE BECAUSE WE'REPLANNING MY HUSBAND'S
  • 00:52:05.145 --> 00:52:05.879
  • PLANNING MY HUSBAND'SFUNERAL TOGETHER, AND YOU
  • 00:52:05.946 --> 00:52:06.880
  • FUNERAL TOGETHER, AND YOUCAN HELP US."
  • 00:52:06.947 --> 00:52:10.417
  • CAN HELP US."SO I TOOK OUT MY PEN
  • 00:52:10.483 --> 00:52:11.017
  • SO I TOOK OUT MY PENAND PENCIL AND TOOK NOTES
  • 00:52:11.084 --> 00:52:11.551
  • AND PENCIL AND TOOK NOTESAND JUST
  • 00:52:11.618 --> 00:52:12.052
  • AND JUSTWE TALKED,
  • 00:52:12.118 --> 00:52:14.154
  • WE TALKED,AND I MADE NOTES.
  • 00:52:14.221 --> 00:52:15.455
  • AND I MADE NOTES.WHEN WE FINISHED ALL THAT,
  • 00:52:15.522 --> 00:52:18.692
  • WHEN WE FINISHED ALL THAT,I SAID, "WELL, LET ME PRAY
  • 00:52:18.758 --> 00:52:19.259
  • I SAID, "WELL, LET ME PRAYFOR YOU."
  • 00:52:19.326 --> 00:52:21.328
  • FOR YOU."SO I STOOD ON ONE SIDE
  • 00:52:21.394 --> 00:52:22.295
  • SO I STOOD ON ONE SIDEOF THE BED AND TOOK
  • 00:52:22.362 --> 00:52:24.197
  • OF THE BED AND TOOKHIS HAND, AND SHE WENT
  • 00:52:24.264 --> 00:52:24.764
  • HIS HAND, AND SHE WENTON THE OTHER SIDE AND
  • 00:52:24.831 --> 00:52:27.000
  • ON THE OTHER SIDE ANDTOOK HIS HAND, AND I
  • 00:52:27.067 --> 00:52:27.534
  • TOOK HIS HAND, AND IREACHED ACROSS THE BED AND
  • 00:52:27.601 --> 00:52:29.102
  • REACHED ACROSS THE BED ANDHELD HER HAND, AND I
  • 00:52:29.169 --> 00:52:29.669
  • HELD HER HAND, AND IPRAYED FOR BOTH OF THEM,
  • 00:52:29.736 --> 00:52:31.705
  • PRAYED FOR BOTH OF THEM,AND HE WAS STILL FULLY
  • 00:52:31.771 --> 00:52:33.707
  • AND HE WAS STILL FULLYCONSCIOUS AT THIS POINT.
  • 00:52:33.773 --> 00:52:35.175
  • CONSCIOUS AT THIS POINT.WHEN I GOT THROUGH
  • 00:52:35.242 --> 00:52:36.443
  • WHEN I GOT THROUGHPRAYING, I RELEASED HIS
  • 00:52:36.509 --> 00:52:37.544
  • PRAYING, I RELEASED HISHAND, AND I RELEASED HER
  • 00:52:37.611 --> 00:52:41.047
  • HAND, AND I RELEASED HERHAND, BUT HE HELD HER HAND
  • 00:52:41.114 --> 00:52:43.883
  • HAND, BUT HE HELD HER HANDAND BROUGHT IT TO HIS
  • 00:52:43.950 --> 00:52:44.818
  • AND BROUGHT IT TO HISMOUTH AND KISSED IT, AND
  • 00:52:44.884 --> 00:52:45.919
  • MOUTH AND KISSED IT, ANDWHEN HE DID, I WEPT
  • 00:52:45.986 --> 00:52:47.354
  • WHEN HE DID, I WEPTBECAUSE I REMEMBERED, 35
  • 00:52:47.420 --> 00:52:50.223
  • BECAUSE I REMEMBERED, 35YEARS AGO, WHEN THAT SAME
  • 00:52:50.290 --> 00:52:52.559
  • YEARS AGO, WHEN THAT SAMECOUPLE SAT IN MY OFFICE
  • 00:52:52.626 --> 00:52:53.727
  • COUPLE SAT IN MY OFFICEAND SAID, "WE HAVE NO HOPE
  • 00:52:53.793 --> 00:52:55.829
  • AND SAID, "WE HAVE NO HOPEFOR OUR MARRIAGE."
  • 00:52:55.895 --> 00:52:57.364
  • FOR OUR MARRIAGE."AND I REMEMBER WHEN I
  • 00:52:57.430 --> 00:52:58.565
  • AND I REMEMBER WHEN IGAVE THEM THE CHALLENGE,
  • 00:52:58.632 --> 00:53:00.900
  • GAVE THEM THE CHALLENGE,"WILL YOU WORK ON
  • 00:53:00.967 --> 00:53:03.637
  • "WILL YOU WORK ONYOUR MARRIAGE?"
  • 00:53:03.703 --> 00:53:06.306
  • YOUR MARRIAGE?"AND I REMEMBER NINE MONTHS
  • 00:53:06.373 --> 00:53:06.873
  • AND I REMEMBER NINE MONTHSLATER WHEN THEY WALKED OUT
  • 00:53:06.940 --> 00:53:08.074
  • LATER WHEN THEY WALKED OUTOF MY OFFICE AND SAID,
  • 00:53:08.141 --> 00:53:09.009
  • OF MY OFFICE AND SAID,"DR. CHAPMAN,
  • 00:53:09.075 --> 00:53:09.609
  • "DR. CHAPMAN,WE'D NEVER, EVER
  • 00:53:09.676 --> 00:53:10.510
  • WE'D NEVER, EVERTHOUGHT IT WOULD BE LIKE
  • 00:53:10.577 --> 00:53:11.778
  • THOUGHT IT WOULD BE LIKEIT IS NOW."
  • 00:53:11.845 --> 00:53:14.414
  • IT IS NOW."AND NOW HERE THEY ARE,
  • 00:53:14.481 --> 00:53:15.181
  • AND NOW HERE THEY ARE,35 YEARS LATER,
  • 00:53:15.248 --> 00:53:16.016
  • 35 YEARS LATER,AT THE END OF THE ROAD.
  • 00:53:16.082 --> 00:53:18.318
  • AT THE END OF THE ROAD.I WISH EVERY COUPLE COULD
  • 00:53:18.385 --> 00:53:18.885
  • I WISH EVERY COUPLE COULDEND AT THE END OF THE ROAD
  • 00:53:18.952 --> 00:53:20.086
  • END AT THE END OF THE ROADLIKE THAT.
  • 00:53:20.153 --> 00:53:22.489
  • LIKE THAT.- MATT: MY GOODNESS.
  • 00:53:22.555 --> 00:53:23.723
  • - MATT: MY GOODNESS.- LAURIE: THERE'S NOTHIN'
  • 00:53:23.790 --> 00:53:24.524
  • - LAURIE: THERE'S NOTHIN'LIKE OLD LOVE.
  • 00:53:24.591 --> 00:53:25.458
  • LIKE OLD LOVE.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:53:25.525 --> 00:53:26.593
  • [LAUGHTER]HANG IN THERE.
  • 00:53:26.660 --> 00:53:27.127
  • HANG IN THERE.YOU CAN DO IT.
  • 00:53:27.193 --> 00:53:27.694
  • YOU CAN DO IT.- MATT: WOO.
  • 00:53:27.761 --> 00:53:28.962
  • - MATT: WOO.- LAURIE: THIS WILL HELP.
  • 00:53:29.029 --> 00:53:29.929
  • - LAURIE: THIS WILL HELP.- MATT: "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES."
  • 00:53:29.996 --> 00:53:31.131
  • - MATT: "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES."THE TBN SPECIAL EDITION
  • 00:53:31.197 --> 00:53:31.665
  • THE TBN SPECIAL EDITIONIS AVAILABLE.
  • 00:53:31.731 --> 00:53:33.900
  • IS AVAILABLE.DR. GARY CHAPMAN.
  • 00:53:33.967 --> 00:53:35.869
  • DR. GARY CHAPMAN.THIS BOOK IS A PHENOMENON.
  • 00:53:35.935 --> 00:53:37.704
  • THIS BOOK IS A PHENOMENON.EVERYONE SEES IT.
  • 00:53:37.771 --> 00:53:40.307
  • EVERYONE SEES IT.YOU WALK BY ANY BOOKSTORE,
  • 00:53:40.373 --> 00:53:42.742
  • IT'S USUALLY PROMINENTLY
  • 00:53:43.343 --> 00:53:44.678
  • IT'S USUALLY PROMINENTLYDISPLAYED IN BOOKSTORES OR
  • 00:53:44.744 --> 00:53:46.112
  • DISPLAYED IN BOOKSTORES ORAIRPORT BOOKSTORES.
  • 00:53:46.179 --> 00:53:47.414
  • AIRPORT BOOKSTORES.I MEAN, IT'S JUST- IT'S
  • 00:53:47.480 --> 00:53:47.947
  • I MEAN, IT'S JUST- IT'SEVERYWHERE.
  • 00:53:48.014 --> 00:53:51.518
  • EVERYWHERE.IT'S BEEN UPDATED, AND IT
  • 00:53:51.584 --> 00:53:52.052
  • IT'S BEEN UPDATED, AND ITIS AVAILABLE NOW.
  • 00:53:52.118 --> 00:53:53.086
  • IS AVAILABLE NOW.AND, DR. GARY CHAPMAN,
  • 00:53:53.153 --> 00:53:53.987
  • AND, DR. GARY CHAPMAN,THANK YOU FOR SITTING WITH
  • 00:53:54.054 --> 00:53:54.854
  • THANK YOU FOR SITTING WITHUS TODAY HERE.
  • 00:53:54.921 --> 00:53:57.090
  • US TODAY HERE.- LAURIE: BEAUTIFUL.
  • 00:53:57.157 --> 00:53:57.991
  • - LAURIE: BEAUTIFUL.- MATT: A NEW YEAR, 2021,
  • 00:53:58.058 --> 00:53:59.292
  • - MATT: A NEW YEAR, 2021,A LOT OF MARRIAGES HAVE
  • 00:53:59.359 --> 00:54:00.660
  • A LOT OF MARRIAGES HAVEHAD STRESS IN REGARD TO
  • 00:54:00.727 --> 00:54:03.496
  • HAD STRESS IN REGARD TO2020, AND THERE'S BEEN
  • 00:54:03.563 --> 00:54:04.497
  • 2020, AND THERE'S BEENJUST UNIQUE, WEIRD THINGS,
  • 00:54:04.564 --> 00:54:06.633
  • JUST UNIQUE, WEIRD THINGS,AND LIFE IS DIFFERENT THAN
  • 00:54:06.700 --> 00:54:09.102
  • AND LIFE IS DIFFERENT THANA LOT OF US KNEW.
  • 00:54:09.169 --> 00:54:12.372
  • A LOT OF US KNEW.LIFE IS DIFFERENT
  • 00:54:12.439 --> 00:54:13.340
  • LIFE IS DIFFERENTMAYBE THIS TERM
  • 00:54:13.406 --> 00:54:14.908
  • MAYBE THIS TERM"NEW NORMAL" IS HERE TO STAY.
  • 00:54:14.974 --> 00:54:16.676
  • "NEW NORMAL" IS HERE TO STAY.WHO KNOWS?
  • 00:54:16.743 --> 00:54:17.911
  • WHO KNOWS?BUT AT SOME POINT, THE
  • 00:54:17.977 --> 00:54:19.979
  • BUT AT SOME POINT, THEGREATEST COMMANDMENT THAT
  • 00:54:20.046 --> 00:54:21.881
  • GREATEST COMMANDMENT THATJESUS GAVE WAS TO LOVE.
  • 00:54:21.948 --> 00:54:24.250
  • JESUS GAVE WAS TO LOVE.YOU'VE HELPED US IDENTIFY
  • 00:54:24.317 --> 00:54:28.288
  • YOU'VE HELPED US IDENTIFYCATEGORIES, AND THIS BOOK,
  • 00:54:28.355 --> 00:54:29.723
  • CATEGORIES, AND THIS BOOK,"THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES: THE
  • 00:54:29.789 --> 00:54:30.657
  • "THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES: THESECRET TO LOVE THAT LASTS,"
  • 00:54:30.724 --> 00:54:32.625
  • SECRET TO LOVE THAT LASTS,"APPLIES TO YOUR
  • 00:54:32.692 --> 00:54:34.094
  • APPLIES TO YOURRELATIONSHIPS WITH
  • 00:54:34.160 --> 00:54:34.661
  • RELATIONSHIPS WITHANYBODY, OKAY?
  • 00:54:34.728 --> 00:54:38.932
  • ANYBODY, OKAY?AND IT IS AVAILABLE BY
  • 00:54:38.998 --> 00:54:39.966
  • AND IT IS AVAILABLE BYGOING TO THAT NUMBER.
  • 00:54:40.033 --> 00:54:41.568
  • GOING TO THAT NUMBER.WE'D LOVE TO GIVE YOU THE
  • 00:54:41.634 --> 00:54:42.302
  • WE'D LOVE TO GIVE YOU THEFINAL WORD,
  • 00:54:42.369 --> 00:54:43.970
  • AND THANKS FOR BEING WITH US.
  • 00:54:44.738 --> 00:54:45.405
  • AND THANKS FOR BEING WITH US.FINAL WORD IS YOURS.
  • 00:54:45.472 --> 00:54:46.272
  • FINAL WORD IS YOURS.- DR. CHAPMAN: WELL, LET
  • 00:54:46.339 --> 00:54:47.240
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: WELL, LETME JUST THANK YOU.
  • 00:54:47.307 --> 00:54:48.375
  • ME JUST THANK YOU.IT'S BEEN GREAT CHATTING
  • 00:54:48.441 --> 00:54:49.409
  • IT'S BEEN GREAT CHATTINGWITH YOU, AND I APPRECIATE
  • 00:54:49.476 --> 00:54:50.744
  • WITH YOU, AND I APPRECIATEYOU LETTING ME ON YOUR
  • 00:54:50.810 --> 00:54:53.847
  • YOU LETTING ME ON YOURPERSONAL LIVES AND
  • 00:54:53.913 --> 00:54:54.781
  • PERSONAL LIVES AND- MATT: CHECK'S IN THE MAIL.
  • 00:54:54.848 --> 00:54:55.415
  • - MATT: CHECK'S IN THE MAIL.- LAURIE: OH, THERE'S MORE.
  • 00:54:55.482 --> 00:54:56.015
  • - LAURIE: OH, THERE'S MORE.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:54:56.082 --> 00:54:56.883
  • [LAUGHTER]- DR. CHAPMAN: AND I
  • 00:54:56.950 --> 00:54:58.118
  • - DR. CHAPMAN: AND IWOULD JUST LET THE
  • 00:54:58.184 --> 00:54:59.786
  • WOULD JUST LET THEAUDIENCE KNOW, WHEN YOU CAN
  • 00:54:59.853 --> 00:55:01.454
  • AUDIENCE KNOW, WHEN YOU CANTALK THIS WAY IN FRONT OF
  • 00:55:01.554 --> 00:55:02.055
  • TALK THIS WAY IN FRONT OFAN AUDIENCE, YOU KNOW THE
  • 00:55:02.122 --> 00:55:02.622
  • AN AUDIENCE, YOU KNOW THEMARRIAGE IS SECURE.
  • 00:55:02.689 --> 00:55:03.656
  • MARRIAGE IS SECURE.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:55:03.723 --> 00:55:04.324
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: OH, THANK GOD.
  • 00:55:04.391 --> 00:55:04.824
  • - MATT: OH, THANK GOD.WE'LL SEE YA NEXT TIME.
  • 00:55:04.891 --> 00:55:05.725
  • WE'LL SEE YA NEXT TIME.- LAURIE: WOO.
  • 00:55:05.792 --> 00:55:06.259
  • - LAURIE: WOO.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:55:06.326 --> 00:55:06.693
  • [LAUGHTER]- MATT: BYE-
  • 00:55:06.760 --> 00:55:12.298
  • - MATT: BYE-[MUSIC]
  • 00:55:12.365 --> 00:55:20.807