Blessed Sons and Daughters
August 3, 2020
27:29
Pastor Robert explains that children are meant to be trained; adolescents taught; and adults trusted.
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Blessed Sons and Daughters
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- ROBERT MORRIS: Think about it.
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- If they're adults,then they're not children.
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- And we have all of theseproblems because people
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- don't understand,and I really think parents
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- get in the way sometimeswhen God's trying
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- to do somethingin an adult's life.
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- ♪ ♪
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- ROBERT: I want to talkto you today about
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- “Blessed Sons and Daughters,”and I specifically named
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- this “Sons and Daughters,”because we're all sons
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- and daughters of God,even though we are sons
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- and daughters on this earth.
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- But as sons and daughters,we go through three phases,
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- and these phases are actuallyoutlined in the Bible.
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- God designed these three phasesand I want to talk about how
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- we relate to sons and daughtersin these three phases.
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- The three phases, just soyou know, are childhood,
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- adolescence, and adulthood.
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- Childhood is birth to 12,adolescence 13 to 19,
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- and these agesI'm getting from the Bible,
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- and adulthood is 20 and above.
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- So, I'll show you these three,and I'm gonna give you a word,
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- so there will bethree words today
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- that hopefully you can rememberthe key word about
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- how to relate to sonsand daughters
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- in each of phases,all right?
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- So, in Ephesians 6, we're gonnastart with three verses.
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- I think these three phasesof life are actually
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- in these three verses,so I think you'll see them.
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- I think you'll seechildhood, adolescence,
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- and adulthood.All right?
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- So, Ephesians 6,look at Verse 1.
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- It says, “Children,” so we'retalking about childhood,
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- “obey yourparents in the Lord,
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- for this is right.”
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- So, this is the first thingchildren need to learn
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- during this 0 to 12.
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- They need to learnto obey their parents.
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- I think Verse 2 is actuallyreferring to adolescence.
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- “Honor your father and mother.”
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- I think teenagers need to learnto honor one another
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- and honor other people.
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- I think honor is the biggestthing they need to learn
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- at that time, during thatadolescent phase.
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- “Which is the firstcommandment with promise.”
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- And then Verse 3, I thinkis referring to adulthood.
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- Watch this.
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- “That it may be well with you
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- and you may livelong on the earth.”
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- In other words, as adults,that things may go well
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- with you and youmay live long on the earth.
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- I have thought about this,because a lot of times
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- when you ask people,“What's the promise
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- if you honor your motherand father,”
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- they seem to all say,“Oh, the promise
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- is that you may livelong on the earth.”
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- Well, the promiseis actually that things
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- may go well with you,
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- and that you may livelong on the earth.
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- And I don't mean this wrong,but who wants to live long
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- if things aren't going well?
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- So, that's a biggerpromise to me,
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- “that things may go wellwith you,” all right?
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- So, we're gonna lookat these three phases
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- and how we relate to sonsand daughters, all right?
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- So, number one phase,this is the word to try
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- to help you to remember,is training.
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- This refers to childhood,the childhood phase -- training.
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- Now, we stopped at Verse 4.
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- We read Verses 1 through3 of Ephesians 6.
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- Look at Verse 4.
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- “And you, fathers, do notprovoke your children to wrath,
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- but bring them upin the training
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- and admonition of the Lord.”
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- Training --think about this Scripture
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- that all of you know,Proverbs 22:6.
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- “Train”...“Train up a child.”You train children.
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- “Train up a childin the way he should go,
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- and when he is old,he will not depart from it.”
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- Now, we're gonna talkabout training,
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- and so I'm gonna talk aboutbiblical training,
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- and I don't have time to...I could devote an entire message
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- to each of thesethree points, okay?
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- So, I'm gonna talk a littleabout biblical training,
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- and then we're gonna talka little bit about spanking,
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- because the Bibletalks about spanking.
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- Now, I know that thereare books against spanking.
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- We had some friends of oursthat, years ago the wife
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- said to my wife, to Debbie,you know, she had read
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- some book and she said, “Westopped spanking in our home.”
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- And just a few weeks later,Debbie talked to her again
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- and she said, “We startedspanking again.”
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- [Laughter]
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- Because this is the bestbook on raising children.
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- I remember my son, James,he used to say to me,
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- you know, when I'd say,“Son, you disobeyed,” and I'd
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- explain it to him, “You're goingto get a spanking,”
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- he'd say, “Daddy, canI tell you something first?
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- Can I just tell you one thingbefore you spank me?”
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- And I'd say, “Okay,you can tell me one thing.”
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- And then you could see himtrying to think
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- of something then, see?
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- He was simply trying to,you know, postpone.
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- He said, “I love you.I love you, Daddy.”
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- And I'd say, “Okay, nowit's...” He said, “Well, wait.
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- I love you, and I have $4,and I want to give you...
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- I want to give you my $4.
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- And Daddy, when I grow up,I'm gonna build you
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- and Mommy a big house and letyou live in it for free.”
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- You know, so he did whateverhe could to get out of it,
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- but he never got out of it.All right, here's the --
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- Let me read you a Scripture.
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- I'm gonna read itout of “The Message,”
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- because I just like the waythat this translates this.
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- Proverbs 23:13-14,“Don't be afraid
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- to correct your young ones.A spanking won't kill them.
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- A good spanking, in fact,might save them
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- from something worsethan death.”
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- “A good spanking mightsave them from something,”
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- now watch this,“worse than death.”
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- What would be worse than death?
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- So, let me show you what itsays in the New King James.
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- It says, “And deliverhis soul from hell.”
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- So see, if I have a choicewhether to listen
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- to the experts out therethat don't know God
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- or listen to God,and it says that spanking
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- could deliver mychild's soul from hell,
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- that's pretty important.
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- Matter of fact, again the Bibleis strong on this point,
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- and again, we try to dilute it.
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- And let me just clarify,when I talk about spanking,
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- obviously I'm not talkingabout abuse, or anger,
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- or anything like that,and there's a whole message
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- that I did years ago on this,so you could listen
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- to that if you wantto reference it.
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- But, we think the Bible saysspare the rod, spoil the child.
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- The Bible does not say that.
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- It makes it much stronger,and see, because we think,
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- “Oh, I wouldn't mind spoilingthe child a little bit.”
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- It doesn't sayif you spare the rod,
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- you spoil the child.
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- Here's what itactually says.
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- Proverbs 13:24, “He whospares his rod hates his son,
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- but he who loves himdisciplines him promptly.”
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- So, let me give you three,just three thoughts
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- about disciplinethat might help you
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- if you're in this phase of life.One is be clear.
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- Be clear in your communication.
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- I remember one timeI walked out in the backyard.
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- James, my son, was throwingrocks in the swimming pool.
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- I said to him, “James,do not throw any rocks
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- in the swimming pool.”
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- He looked at me,went over and grabbed
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- his brother's bicycle, and threwit in the swimming pool.
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- [Laughter]
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- I didn't say, “Don'tthrow bicycles in the pool.”
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- So, I had to be clear -- “Don'tthrow anything in the pool.
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- If you throwanything in the pool,
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- including other people,I'm going to spank you.”
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- I had to be very clearwith him, all right?
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- So, one is be clear.
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- The other thingis be convincing.
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- “Daddy is goingto spank you.
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- Let me tell you why Daddyis going to spank you --
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- because Daddy loves you.
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- Bad things happen to peoplewho do bad things.”
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- That's what I wouldtell my children.
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- “I don't want bad thingsto happen to you,
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- so I am training you nownot to do bad things,
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- because when you get olderand you do bad things,
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- you go to prison.
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- Things happen to you,bad things happen
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- to people who do bad things.
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- The only reason I'm doingthis is because I love you,”
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- and I'd be very convincing.
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- “Daddy will spank youif you hit your sister
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- with that plastic bat.
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- You stop swingingthe plastic bat in the house,
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- because you could hityour sister accidentally,
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- like you have alreadydone four times.
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- So, Daddy will spank you.
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- You will get a spankingif you do this.”
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- Be convincing.
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- And the last thingis be compassionate.
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- Never spank in anger.
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- If you have to cooldown some, cool down.
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- Explain to them.Take them to another room.
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- Never spank in public.
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- Never, ever, ever,because shame
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- is never a partof discipline with God.
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- God never shames us.
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- We shame ourselves,but God doesn't shame us.
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- We humiliate ourselves,but God humbles us.
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- So, I'm just letting you know,don't do it in public.
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- Go somewhere else.Be compassionate.
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- I would have funwith them afterwards.
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- Every time after I wouldspank them, I would do
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- something fun with them.
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- It takes timefor godly discipline,
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- because I wanted themto know it was over.
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- So, the first phaseis training, all right?
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- It refers to childhood.
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- Second phase,here's number two: teaching.
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- This refers to adolescence.
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- From 13 to 19, we movefrom training to teaching.
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- Ephesians 6:4, let's goback to that verse.
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- “And you, fathers,do not provoke your children
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- to wrath, but bring them upin the training,”
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- we already talked about that,“and admonition of the Lord.”
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- Let me tell you why I usethe word “teaching”.
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- That's what this word means.
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- Admonition meansinstruction or teaching.
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- Bring them up inthe teaching of the Lord.
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- Deuteronomy 4:9, “Teach them,”them refers to statutes.
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- “Teach them to your childrenand your grandchildren.”
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- Deuteronomy 6:7,“You shall teach them
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- diligently to your children.”
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- So, think about this, all right?
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- Adolescence refers tothe transition of a child
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- becoming an adult.
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- We refer to it as teenage years,but it refers to that time.
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- This is a time whenwe go to teaching.
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- It begins at 12 or 13,somewhere around that age.
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- You see it in Jewishculture as well.
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- There becomes atime of teaching.
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- We even see itin Jesus' life,
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- and there's a really famousstory about Jesus
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- that I think we misssomething very important.
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- When Jesus was inthe temple, remember?
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- And there's a great part of it,and I'm not minimizing
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- this part, but becauseof this part,
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- I think we miss the other part.
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- But, the teachers andthe rabbis in the temple
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- were so impressedwith His answers.
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- Now, that's a great thing,but I want you
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- to notice somethingthat Jesus Himself did
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- as He's making a transitionfrom childhood to adolescence.
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- Luke 2:42, “And whenHe was twelve years old,
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- they went to Jerusalem accordingto the custom of the feast.”
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- And then, Verse 46, “Now so itwas that after three days,”
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- remember they leftand then they came back
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- and found him, “they foundHim in the temple,
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- sitting in the midstof the teachers,”
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- watch what Jesus was doing,“both listening to them
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- and asking them questions.”
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- “Listening to themand asking them questions.”
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- That's what Jesuswas doing, Jesus Himself.
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- This is a time whenteenagers are going
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- to begin to ask questions.
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- You need tounderstand something.
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- This is the time for youto help them transition
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- from being a child,and think about this.
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- How many times though dowe say something like this,
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- or a teenager says somethinglike this to us?
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- “You're treatingme like a child.”
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- You ever hear that?
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- And of course,what's our response?
- 00:12:33.645 --> 00:12:35.513
- “Well, you're acting like achild,” and they probably are.
- 00:12:35.613 --> 00:12:38.917
- But, it's our responsibilityto teach them
- 00:12:39.017 --> 00:12:41.286
- not to act like a child.
- 00:12:41.386 --> 00:12:42.387
- It's to begin to train them,to teach them.
- 00:12:42.487 --> 00:12:46.758
- Let me say it another way.
- 00:12:46.858 --> 00:12:48.126
- We tell a child what to think,
- 00:12:48.226 --> 00:12:53.932
- or we train a childwhat to think.
- 00:12:54.032 --> 00:12:56.134
- We teach, in adolescence,how to think.
- 00:12:56.234 --> 00:13:01.940
- Let me say that again.
- 00:13:02.040 --> 00:13:03.308
- We tell a childwhat to think.
- 00:13:03.408 --> 00:13:05.777
- We tell them.
- 00:13:05.877 --> 00:13:06.945
- This is whatyou're going to do.
- 00:13:07.045 --> 00:13:09.581
- We tell a child whatto think, but we teach,
- 00:13:09.681 --> 00:13:12.951
- in adolescence, how to think.
- 00:13:13.051 --> 00:13:15.653
- So, you begin to movein this transitional time
- 00:13:15.753 --> 00:13:18.289
- where you begin to askyour teenagers questions.
- 00:13:18.389 --> 00:13:20.825
- “What kind of criteriaare you going to use?”
- 00:13:20.925 --> 00:13:25.663
- This is what youwould ask a teenager.
- 00:13:25.763 --> 00:13:26.965
- “What kind of criteriaare you going to use
- 00:13:27.065 --> 00:13:30.235
- when you choose your friends?”
- 00:13:30.335 --> 00:13:33.805
- See, they start thinking then,“What do they mean?
- 00:13:33.905 --> 00:13:35.974
- I've never thoughtbefore about that.”
- 00:13:36.074 --> 00:13:37.709
- “What type of study habitsare you trying to develop now
- 00:13:37.809 --> 00:13:42.313
- that are going to help youlater in life?”
- 00:13:42.413 --> 00:13:45.016
- Here's a question I wishsomeone had asked me
- 00:13:45.116 --> 00:13:49.153
- when I was a teenager.
- 00:13:49.254 --> 00:13:51.122
- “Do you think the choicesthat you make now
- 00:13:51.222 --> 00:13:54.592
- will affect you as an adult?”
- 00:13:54.692 --> 00:13:57.929
- I never thought that I woulddeal with some of the things
- 00:13:58.029 --> 00:14:00.965
- I've had to dealwith as an adult
- 00:14:01.065 --> 00:14:02.066
- because of thingsI did as a teenager.
- 00:14:02.166 --> 00:14:05.370
- This is a timeto ask questions.
- 00:14:05.470 --> 00:14:06.671
- When our children weremaking this transition
- 00:14:06.771 --> 00:14:11.309
- to adolescence,at the age of 13
- 00:14:11.409 --> 00:14:15.613
- we had a covenantceremony with them.
- 00:14:15.713 --> 00:14:18.549
- I did it with the guys,Debbie did it with our daughter.
- 00:14:18.650 --> 00:14:22.186
- We would take themon an overnight trip.
- 00:14:22.287 --> 00:14:24.622
- We had a ring for them.
- 00:14:24.722 --> 00:14:26.291
- So, I did both our boys,Debbie did our daughter.
- 00:14:26.391 --> 00:14:29.294
- We made a covenantwith them.
- 00:14:29.394 --> 00:14:31.062
- Now, part of the thingsthat we talked about
- 00:14:31.162 --> 00:14:32.597
- in our covenant --we talked about a lot of things,
- 00:14:32.697 --> 00:14:33.965
- but let me just useone as an example.
- 00:14:34.065 --> 00:14:36.034
- We talked about dating.
- 00:14:36.134 --> 00:14:37.869
- We went through the factsof life with them.
- 00:14:37.969 --> 00:14:40.004
- We did it when theywere 10 and 13.
- 00:14:40.104 --> 00:14:41.906
- The reason we did itwhen they were 10
- 00:14:42.006 --> 00:14:43.775
- is because they were gonna hearthings at school.
- 00:14:43.875 --> 00:14:45.643
- So, we went throughthe facts of life,
- 00:14:45.743 --> 00:14:47.278
- but at 13 was whenwe made the covenant.
- 00:14:47.378 --> 00:14:49.414
- And when we wentthrough that, we said,
- 00:14:49.514 --> 00:14:51.149
- “Now, here are some thingsyou need to understand.
- 00:14:51.249 --> 00:14:52.884
- You're going to beginto start being attracted
- 00:14:52.984 --> 00:14:54.852
- to the opposite sex,and when that happens,
- 00:14:54.953 --> 00:14:57.989
- we want to tell yousome things that's going
- 00:14:58.089 --> 00:15:00.692
- to happen in your body.
- 00:15:00.792 --> 00:15:01.793
- We're gonna tell you somethings that will happen
- 00:15:01.893 --> 00:15:02.994
- in your emotions,”and so we told them.
- 00:15:03.094 --> 00:15:04.729
- And then we said, “We wantto make a covenant with you.
- 00:15:04.829 --> 00:15:07.832
- You have a partand we have a part.”
- 00:15:07.932 --> 00:15:10.168
- And we said, “Your part isthat you'll talk to us
- 00:15:10.268 --> 00:15:12.770
- and be open and honestwith us when you're attracted
- 00:15:12.870 --> 00:15:15.306
- to someone, that you'llkeep yourself pure,
- 00:15:15.406 --> 00:15:18.910
- that you won't cross theseboundaries that God
- 00:15:19.010 --> 00:15:21.212
- has set in place for yourprotection before marriage.”
- 00:15:21.312 --> 00:15:25.116
- We went throughall of the things
- 00:15:25.216 --> 00:15:26.217
- of this is your partof the covenant.
- 00:15:26.317 --> 00:15:27.685
- Then I said, “This ismy part of the covenant.
- 00:15:27.785 --> 00:15:30.955
- My part of the covenant isthat I commit myself to pray
- 00:15:31.055 --> 00:15:33.758
- with you about your spouse,”and we explained to them why.
- 00:15:33.858 --> 00:15:37.528
- You have to tellteenagers why.
- 00:15:37.628 --> 00:15:39.197
- We said, “Because we knowyou better than anyone else
- 00:15:39.297 --> 00:15:42.266
- in the world knows you.We know your personality.
- 00:15:42.367 --> 00:15:45.370
- We know your giftings.
- 00:15:45.470 --> 00:15:47.205
- So, we're gonna helpyou in this process”.
- 00:15:47.305 --> 00:15:49.140
- But then, I wantedto kind of incentivize
- 00:15:49.240 --> 00:15:54.545
- my teenagers, you know?
- 00:15:54.645 --> 00:15:56.981
- And so, I said, “And partof my covenant is...
- 00:15:57.081 --> 00:16:01.019
- you're gonna keep your part,but part of my covenant is
- 00:16:01.119 --> 00:16:04.188
- that I'm going to pay for anyexpenses with the wedding,
- 00:16:04.288 --> 00:16:08.126
- whether you're a boy or a girl,‘cause there are expenses
- 00:16:08.226 --> 00:16:09.827
- on both sides.I'm gonna pay.
- 00:16:09.927 --> 00:16:12.630
- Another thing I'm gonna dois I'm gonna pay
- 00:16:12.730 --> 00:16:13.731
- for your honeymoon.
- 00:16:13.831 --> 00:16:15.666
- I'm gonna payfor your college.
- 00:16:15.767 --> 00:16:18.136
- Whatever it is,I'll pay for all of it.
- 00:16:18.236 --> 00:16:19.737
- You'll have no student debt,no matter what.
- 00:16:19.837 --> 00:16:21.472
- I'll take on the studentdebt if I have to.”
- 00:16:21.572 --> 00:16:24.042
- And then I said, “AndI'm going to help you buy
- 00:16:24.142 --> 00:16:26.144
- your first house.”
- 00:16:26.244 --> 00:16:28.346
- Now, I lookback on that now...
- 00:16:28.446 --> 00:16:31.315
- [Laughter]
- 00:16:31.416 --> 00:16:35.153
- And think, “Thank Godthat people buy my books now,
- 00:16:35.253 --> 00:16:39.057
- because I wouldn't havebeen able to keep all
- 00:16:39.157 --> 00:16:42.093
- of these promises that I made,
- 00:16:42.193 --> 00:16:43.628
- and I don't knowwhy I did that!”
- 00:16:43.728 --> 00:16:45.129
- But, we've been able to helpour children financially.
- 00:16:45.229 --> 00:16:47.598
- But, I remember with Josh,my oldest son,
- 00:16:47.698 --> 00:16:50.168
- when he was 13 I wantedto teach him something
- 00:16:50.268 --> 00:16:53.171
- about God's graceduring this time.
- 00:16:53.271 --> 00:16:56.140
- And so, I went throughthis and I said,
- 00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:57.575
- “Now, we're making a covenant.
- 00:16:57.675 --> 00:16:58.709
- You have a partand I have a part.”
- 00:16:58.810 --> 00:17:00.645
- And I said to him,“And my part is very big, too.
- 00:17:00.745 --> 00:17:04.849
- It's a big financialcommitment on my part.”
- 00:17:04.949 --> 00:17:07.552
- I said, “But what'sgoing to happen
- 00:17:07.652 --> 00:17:10.621
- if you don't do your part?”
- 00:17:10.721 --> 00:17:13.958
- And I was expectinghim to say,
- 00:17:14.058 --> 00:17:15.793
- “Well, then youwon't do your part.
- 00:17:15.893 --> 00:17:18.096
- ”Well, my 13 year old sonsurprised me.
- 00:17:18.196 --> 00:17:20.064
- He sat there fora moment and he said,
- 00:17:20.164 --> 00:17:23.935
- “You'll probablystill do your part.”
- 00:17:24.035 --> 00:17:27.238
- And I remember thinking,“You stole my thunder!”
- 00:17:27.338 --> 00:17:30.174
- [Laughter]
- 00:17:30.274 --> 00:17:31.476
- You stole my teachingmoment, you know?
- 00:17:31.576 --> 00:17:34.779
- And I said, “Well,if you don't do your part,
- 00:17:34.879 --> 00:17:37.315
- why do you think thatI'll do my part?”
- 00:17:37.415 --> 00:17:40.551
- And he said, “Becauseyou've taught me
- 00:17:40.651 --> 00:17:43.821
- that even when we do thingswrong, God still loves us.
- 00:17:43.921 --> 00:17:50.495
- And I think you'relike God, Daddy,
- 00:17:50.595 --> 00:17:55.032
- and I think you'regonna love me anyway.”
- 00:17:55.133 --> 00:17:56.801
- [Applause]
- 00:17:56.901 --> 00:17:59.003
- This is what we do.
- 00:17:59.103 --> 00:18:00.671
- This is a time of lifewe take our young people
- 00:18:00.771 --> 00:18:03.508
- through fromchildhood to adulthood,
- 00:18:03.608 --> 00:18:05.910
- and it's very important.
- 00:18:06.010 --> 00:18:07.311
- And then the last, adulthood,I'm using the word “trusting.”
- 00:18:07.411 --> 00:18:12.450
- Trusting, so hopefullywe can remember
- 00:18:12.550 --> 00:18:14.051
- these three words:training, teaching, trusting.
- 00:18:14.152 --> 00:18:18.156
- Let me say it another way.Children are trained.
- 00:18:18.256 --> 00:18:22.793
- Teenagers are taught.Adults are trusted.
- 00:18:22.894 --> 00:18:28.232
- Adulthood, again in the Bible,starts at 20 years old.
- 00:18:28.332 --> 00:18:31.169
- I don't have time to giveyou all of the Scriptures,
- 00:18:31.269 --> 00:18:34.238
- but I'll give youjust a few references
- 00:18:34.338 --> 00:18:36.007
- that you can lookat later, all right?
- 00:18:36.107 --> 00:18:38.109
- Exodus 30:14 says at 20, theywould begin to give offerings.
- 00:18:38.209 --> 00:18:44.482
- Now, I think it's goodto teach our children
- 00:18:44.582 --> 00:18:45.750
- to give offerings, but thiswas actually referring
- 00:18:45.850 --> 00:18:48.452
- to a temple tax.
- 00:18:48.553 --> 00:18:50.154
- They were required to startpaying this when they turned 20.
- 00:18:50.254 --> 00:18:54.225
- God saw them as adults.
- 00:18:54.325 --> 00:18:56.027
- Numbers 1:3, at 20,they had to go to war.
- 00:18:56.127 --> 00:19:00.097
- They didn't have to go to waruntil they were 20 years old.
- 00:19:00.198 --> 00:19:02.633
- God saw them as adults.
- 00:19:02.733 --> 00:19:04.368
- Numbers 14:29-32 -- at 20,they were held responsible
- 00:19:04.468 --> 00:19:10.675
- for their sin, at 20.This is how He said it.
- 00:19:10.775 --> 00:19:15.780
- He said, “Your little ones,who have no knowledge
- 00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:17.348
- of good and evil, will stillgo into the Promised Land.
- 00:19:17.448 --> 00:19:21.185
- But everyone 20years old and up,
- 00:19:21.285 --> 00:19:24.455
- other than Joshua and Caleb,will die in the wilderness.”
- 00:19:24.555 --> 00:19:28.025
- So, God sets an age at 20.
- 00:19:28.125 --> 00:19:30.194
- Now, one of the thingsthat many of us have done
- 00:19:30.294 --> 00:19:32.897
- is kind of said,and I've even heard people
- 00:19:32.997 --> 00:19:36.400
- say this: “Well, once they'remarried, they're adults.”
- 00:19:36.500 --> 00:19:39.270
- No, that's not true.
- 00:19:39.370 --> 00:19:40.871
- They're adultswhen they turn 20.
- 00:19:40.972 --> 00:19:42.807
- So, one of the Scripturesthat people will use is,
- 00:19:42.907 --> 00:19:45.843
- “Therefore, a man shallleave his father and mother
- 00:19:45.943 --> 00:19:47.878
- and cleave to his wife.”
- 00:19:47.979 --> 00:19:49.013
- In other words,they're under my authority
- 00:19:49.113 --> 00:19:50.548
- until they get married.
- 00:19:50.648 --> 00:19:52.183
- No, take the Scripturefor what it says.
- 00:19:52.283 --> 00:19:54.485
- Listen to what it says.
- 00:19:54.585 --> 00:19:55.820
- “Therefore, a man shall leavehis father and mother.”
- 00:19:55.920 --> 00:20:03.127
- It doesn't say a boy.He's already a man.
- 00:20:03.227 --> 00:20:06.831
- And think about this.
- 00:20:06.931 --> 00:20:08.633
- What if theynever get married?
- 00:20:08.733 --> 00:20:10.568
- Some people are notcalled to marriage.
- 00:20:10.668 --> 00:20:12.169
- Some are called to celibacy,that Jesus even talked
- 00:20:12.270 --> 00:20:14.138
- about that Himself.
- 00:20:14.238 --> 00:20:15.139
- So, what if theynever get married?
- 00:20:15.239 --> 00:20:16.340
- Are they gonna have to,you know, when they're 65,
- 00:20:16.440 --> 00:20:18.409
- they're gonna haveto ask your permission
- 00:20:18.509 --> 00:20:19.610
- to retire, you know?
- 00:20:19.710 --> 00:20:21.078
- So, they're grown and they needto be treated as adults.
- 00:20:21.178 --> 00:20:27.018
- This is the reasonthat I made this message
- 00:20:27.118 --> 00:20:28.552
- “Blessed Sons and Daughters,”not “Blessed Children.”
- 00:20:28.653 --> 00:20:31.989
- I am calling themadult sons and daughters,
- 00:20:32.089 --> 00:20:35.860
- and I don't even likethe term “adult children.”
- 00:20:35.960 --> 00:20:39.330
- It's an oxymoron.Think about it.
- 00:20:39.430 --> 00:20:42.700
- If they're adults,then they're not children.
- 00:20:42.800 --> 00:20:46.370
- And we have all of theseproblems because people
- 00:20:46.470 --> 00:20:48.439
- don't understand,and I really think parents
- 00:20:48.539 --> 00:20:50.374
- get in the way sometimeswhen God's trying
- 00:20:50.474 --> 00:20:53.911
- to do somethingin an adult's life.
- 00:20:54.011 --> 00:20:57.448
- They're adults now.
- 00:20:57.548 --> 00:20:59.116
- Our parenting role is over.”Parent, the word “parent,”
- 00:20:59.216 --> 00:21:03.988
- can be a noun andit can be a verb.
- 00:21:04.088 --> 00:21:07.158
- In other words,yes, I am a parent,
- 00:21:07.258 --> 00:21:11.062
- but I do not parent anymore,because I don't have
- 00:21:11.162 --> 00:21:16.167
- children anymore,I have adult sons and daughters.
- 00:21:16.267 --> 00:21:20.004
- Are you allfollowing this? Okay.
- 00:21:20.104 --> 00:21:22.573
- And I've got to seethem as that way.
- 00:21:22.673 --> 00:21:23.941
- Let me tell youanother thing.
- 00:21:24.041 --> 00:21:24.975
- You might not haveever thought about this.
- 00:21:25.076 --> 00:21:27.311
- My sons and daughters,this might blow you away.
- 00:21:27.411 --> 00:21:34.885
- My sons and daughters are now mybrothers and sisters in Christ.
- 00:21:34.985 --> 00:21:44.628
- In Christ, there isno male nor female.
- 00:21:44.729 --> 00:21:49.533
- In Christ, they're my --listen, this is why
- 00:21:49.633 --> 00:21:52.269
- I say sons and daughters.
- 00:21:52.370 --> 00:21:53.804
- Yes, I have sonsand daughters.
- 00:21:53.904 --> 00:21:56.073
- They all havechildren of their own.
- 00:21:56.173 --> 00:21:58.809
- They're parents now.
- 00:21:58.909 --> 00:22:00.311
- Yes, they're my sonsand daughters,
- 00:22:00.411 --> 00:22:02.880
- but they're mothers and fathers.
- 00:22:02.980 --> 00:22:05.249
- So, they're not my kids anymore,
- 00:22:05.349 --> 00:22:07.718
- they're my brothersand sisters in Christ.
- 00:22:07.818 --> 00:22:09.453
- That means that they cancome to me for advice,
- 00:22:09.553 --> 00:22:11.722
- but what they're actuallydoing is they're coming
- 00:22:11.822 --> 00:22:13.424
- to a brother in Christ!
- 00:22:13.524 --> 00:22:16.994
- Do you realize that somesons and daughters,
- 00:22:17.094 --> 00:22:19.196
- some grown sons and daughters,won't go to their parents
- 00:22:19.296 --> 00:22:21.465
- anymore for advice?There are two reasons why.
- 00:22:21.565 --> 00:22:24.168
- One is, sometimesparents try to control.
- 00:22:24.268 --> 00:22:27.838
- It's one is, parents...let me say it this way.
- 00:22:27.938 --> 00:22:29.707
- Parents think, if theydon't take my advice,
- 00:22:29.807 --> 00:22:33.110
- that's dishonoring me.That's not honoring me.
- 00:22:33.210 --> 00:22:35.746
- You know, “You asked usif you should make this move,
- 00:22:35.846 --> 00:22:38.949
- and we said no, but you didit anyway, and the Bible says
- 00:22:39.049 --> 00:22:41.952
- you're to honor yourmother and father.”
- 00:22:42.052 --> 00:22:43.487
- Let me just talk to someof you about that right there.
- 00:22:43.587 --> 00:22:46.123
- Let me tell you whatthat actually is.
- 00:22:46.223 --> 00:22:47.958
- That's spiritual abuse.
- 00:22:48.058 --> 00:22:50.194
- When you quote Scripture toget your way, that's wrong.
- 00:22:50.294 --> 00:22:54.532
- You don't have any moreauthority in that person's life.
- 00:22:54.632 --> 00:22:57.568
- That person's a grown-up.That person's an adult.
- 00:22:57.668 --> 00:23:00.304
- So, sometimes grown sonsand daughters,
- 00:23:00.404 --> 00:23:04.141
- adult sons and daughters, won'tgo to their parents for counsel,
- 00:23:04.241 --> 00:23:07.111
- but then sometimes it'sthe other way around, too.
- 00:23:07.211 --> 00:23:09.180
- Sometimes thereis a dishonoring,
- 00:23:09.280 --> 00:23:11.015
- because you ought to honor themand ask for their counsel.
- 00:23:11.115 --> 00:23:14.351
- “Honor your mother and father.”
- 00:23:14.452 --> 00:23:15.953
- It doesn't meanyou have to do it.
- 00:23:16.053 --> 00:23:17.488
- Because you're an adult,you have to hear God.
- 00:23:17.588 --> 00:23:19.356
- I've known adultsons and daughters
- 00:23:19.457 --> 00:23:22.126
- that have just announced,made an announcement --
- 00:23:22.226 --> 00:23:25.896
- “We've decided we're moving,” or“I've decided to quit my job,”
- 00:23:25.996 --> 00:23:29.467
- and they nevereven asked them.
- 00:23:29.567 --> 00:23:30.768
- That is dishonoring.
- 00:23:30.868 --> 00:23:32.369
- That is dishonoring,and here's the reason
- 00:23:32.470 --> 00:23:34.205
- that they do it many times,is because they haven't made
- 00:23:34.305 --> 00:23:36.740
- the transition from adolescenceor childhood to adulthood yet,
- 00:23:36.841 --> 00:23:41.445
- and they don't havethe courage to say, you know,
- 00:23:41.545 --> 00:23:44.849
- “Would you praywith us about this,”
- 00:23:44.949 --> 00:23:47.084
- because they fearthe parents might say,
- 00:23:47.184 --> 00:23:48.953
- “Well, we would ratheryou not do this.”
- 00:23:49.053 --> 00:23:50.788
- They don't havethe courage then to say,
- 00:23:50.888 --> 00:23:52.490
- “Well, thank you,we'll go back and pray again.”
- 00:23:52.590 --> 00:23:54.758
- But then, they might haveto come back and say,
- 00:23:54.859 --> 00:23:57.094
- “Now that we've prayed about it,we appreciate your counsel,
- 00:23:57.194 --> 00:23:59.563
- but we know for sure this iswhat God has spoken to us.”
- 00:23:59.663 --> 00:24:03.234
- Are you all following me?
- 00:24:03.334 --> 00:24:04.668
- This would solve about 99%of family marriage counseling
- 00:24:04.768 --> 00:24:11.008
- right here,if we would allow
- 00:24:11.108 --> 00:24:13.811
- adult sons and daughtersto just simply grow up
- 00:24:13.911 --> 00:24:17.915
- and treat themas brothers and sisters.
- 00:24:18.015 --> 00:24:20.017
- ROBERT: You know, one ofthe greatest blessings
- 00:24:20.651 --> 00:24:22.052
- that I have is to see my threechildren grown, married,
- 00:24:22.152 --> 00:24:26.690
- and serving God, but you'veprobably heard me talk about it
- 00:24:26.790 --> 00:24:29.693
- before that there wasa time when my daughter
- 00:24:29.793 --> 00:24:32.229
- walked away from the Lord.
- 00:24:32.329 --> 00:24:33.731
- It was one of the mostdifficult times of our lives,
- 00:24:33.831 --> 00:24:36.300
- but God was sofaithful in her life,
- 00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:39.637
- and now she's servingGod full-time.
- 00:24:39.737 --> 00:24:41.672
- I just have a real burdenon my heart to pray for you.
- 00:24:41.772 --> 00:24:45.242
- If you've got a child that'saway from God or not serving God
- 00:24:45.342 --> 00:24:48.546
- with all of his heartor all of her heart,
- 00:24:48.646 --> 00:24:50.514
- I believe that God can touchthat child's heart.
- 00:24:50.614 --> 00:24:53.951
- I'm talking abouta small child, teenager,
- 00:24:54.051 --> 00:24:56.954
- or even a grown child -- a grownson or a grown daughter.
- 00:24:57.054 --> 00:25:00.090
- God wants to bring thatchild back and I want to agree
- 00:25:00.190 --> 00:25:03.227
- with you todaythat God does a work
- 00:25:03.327 --> 00:25:05.729
- and that we can see our childrenloving and serving God,
- 00:25:05.829 --> 00:25:09.433
- as the Bible says,“to a thousand generations.”
- 00:25:09.533 --> 00:25:13.437
- God really does wantto bless our families.
- 00:25:13.537 --> 00:25:16.173
- I'm so grateful that you watch.
- 00:25:16.273 --> 00:25:18.142
- I'm going to continuethis series next week.
- 00:25:18.242 --> 00:25:20.377
- ANNOUNCER: We're so glad youjoined us for today's program
- 00:25:22.846 --> 00:25:24.715
- on Blessed Families.
- 00:25:24.815 --> 00:25:26.850
- Be encouraged and confident thatGod really does have a plan
- 00:25:26.951 --> 00:25:29.587
- for your family,
- 00:25:29.687 --> 00:25:31.121
- no matter where you findyourself today.
- 00:25:31.221 --> 00:25:33.490
- Every family is different.
- 00:25:33.591 --> 00:25:35.025
- With their own wins, struggles,and personalities,
- 00:25:35.125 --> 00:25:37.995
- but what's the secret to havinga truly happy home life?
- 00:25:38.095 --> 00:25:41.265
- In this five-part series, PastorRobert talks about God's design
- 00:25:41.365 --> 00:25:44.435
- for families, and how to live inHis blessing.
- 00:25:44.535 --> 00:25:47.705
- You'll learn how to go frombeing a broken family
- 00:25:47.805 --> 00:25:49.974
- to being a blessed family,and how to experience
- 00:25:50.074 --> 00:25:52.142
- all that God has planned foryour marriage and for
- 00:25:52.242 --> 00:25:54.778
- your children.
- 00:25:54.878 --> 00:25:56.246
- You'll also discover thelife-transforming benefits
- 00:25:56.347 --> 00:25:58.582
- of being adopted into a newspiritual family.
- 00:25:58.682 --> 00:26:02.119
- For your gift of any amounttoday, we want to send you
- 00:26:02.219 --> 00:26:04.221
- this five-part series on eitherCD or as a digital download.
- 00:26:04.321 --> 00:26:08.792
- Additionally, for your gift of$45 or more,
- 00:26:08.892 --> 00:26:11.462
- we will send you the "BlessedFamilies" series
- 00:26:11.562 --> 00:26:14.064
- on both CD and DVD.
- 00:26:14.164 --> 00:26:16.433
- Don't let another day go bywithout living in God's
- 00:26:16.533 --> 00:26:18.669
- very best for your family.
- 00:26:18.769 --> 00:26:20.604
- Be sure to call or visit usonline today to request
- 00:26:20.704 --> 00:26:23.107
- these resources, and startapplying the principles
- 00:26:23.207 --> 00:26:26.010
- from God's word for a moreunited and blessed home.
- 00:26:26.110 --> 00:26:29.346
- And while online atPastorRobert.com,
- 00:26:29.446 --> 00:26:31.682
- you can share your prayer needswith us,
- 00:26:31.782 --> 00:26:33.484
- or let us know what God has doneas a result of applying
- 00:26:33.584 --> 00:26:35.853
- these truths from His word inyour life.
- 00:26:35.953 --> 00:26:38.589
- You can also request this seriesas an audio and video
- 00:26:38.689 --> 00:26:41.125
- digital download.
- 00:26:41.225 --> 00:26:43.093
- We look forwardto hearing from you,
- 00:26:43.193 --> 00:26:44.361
- and as always, we thank you foryour generous support
- 00:26:44.461 --> 00:26:46.597
- of this ministry.
- 00:26:46.697 --> 00:26:48.065
- ♪ ♪
- 00:26:51.535 --> 00:26:59.777
- ANNOUNCER: Introducing,the all-new PastorRobert.com.
- 00:27:00.411 --> 00:27:04.114
- Where we've made it even easierfor you to connect with us.
- 00:27:04.214 --> 00:27:07.751
- You can watch currentand previous episodes
- 00:27:07.851 --> 00:27:09.853
- of our television program,
- 00:27:09.953 --> 00:27:12.289
- shop at our online storewith enhanced security,
- 00:27:12.389 --> 00:27:15.793
- and access a freeweekly devotional.
- 00:27:15.893 --> 00:27:18.896
- We hope that our new featureswill help you find
- 00:27:18.996 --> 00:27:21.065
- exactly what you needto continue to grow
- 00:27:21.165 --> 00:27:23.333
- in your relationshipwith the Lord.
- 00:27:23.434 --> 00:27:25.502
- To learn more visitus at PastorRobert.com.
- 00:27:25.602 --> 00:27:28.539