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Blessed Sons and Daughters

Pastor Robert Morris Ministries

August 14, 2019

27:33

Pastor Robert Morris Ministries

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Blessed Sons and Daughters

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ROBERT
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ROBERT M
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ROBERT MOR
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ROBERT MORRI
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ROBERT MORRIS:
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ROBERT MORRIS: T
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ROBERT MORRIS: Thi
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ROBERT MORRIS: Think
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ROBERT MORRIS: Think a
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ROBERT MORRIS: Think abo
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ROBERT MORRIS: Think about
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ROBERT MORRIS: Think about i
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ROBERT MORRIS: Think about it.
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If they're adults, then they're not children.
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And we have all of these problems because people
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don't understand, and I really think parents
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get in the way sometimes when God's trying
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to do something in an adult's life.
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ROBERT: I want to talk to you today about
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"Blessed Sons and Daughters," and I specifically named
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this "Sons and Daughters," because we're all sons
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and daughters of God, even though we are sons
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and daughters on this earth.
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But as sons and daughters, we go through three phases,
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and these phases are actually outlined in the Bible.
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God designed these three phases and I want to talk about how
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we relate to sons and daughters in these three phases.
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The three phases, just so you know, are childhood,
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adolescence, and adulthood.
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Childhood is birth to 12, adolescence 13 to 19,
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and these ages I'm getting from the Bible,
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and adulthood is 20 and above.
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So, I'll show you these three, and I'm gonna give you a word,
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so there will be three words today
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that hopefully you can remember the key word about
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how to relate to sons and daughters
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in each of phases, all right?
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So, in Ephesians 6, we're gonna start with three verses.
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I think these three phases of life are actually
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in these three verses, so I think you'll see them.
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I think you'll see childhood, adolescence,
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and adulthood. All right?
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So, Ephesians 6, look at Verse 1.
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It says, "Children," so we're talking about childhood,
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"obey your parents in the Lord,
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for this is right."
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So, this is the first thing children need to learn
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during this 0 to 12.
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They need to learn to obey their parents.
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I think Verse 2 is actually referring to adolescence.
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"Honor your father and mother."
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I think teenagers need to learn to honor one another
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and honor other people.
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I think honor is the biggest thing they need to learn
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at that time, during that adolescent phase.
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"Which is the first commandment with promise."
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And then Verse 3, I think is referring to adulthood.
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Watch this.
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"That it may be well with you
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and you may live long on the earth."
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In other words, as adults, that things may go well
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with you and you may live long on the earth.
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I have thought about this, because a lot of times
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when you ask people, "What's the promise
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if you honor your mother and father,"
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they seem to all say, "Oh, the promise
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is that you may live long on the earth."
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Well, the promise is actually that things
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may go well with you,
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and that you may live long on the earth.
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And I don't mean this wrong, but who wants to live long
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if things aren't going well?
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So, that's a bigger promise to me,
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"that things may go well with you," all right?
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So, we're gonna look at these three phases
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and how we relate to sons and daughters, all right?
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So, number one phase, this is the word to try
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to help you to remember, is training.
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This refers to childhood, the childhood phase -- training.
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Now, we stopped at Verse 4.
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We read Verses 1 through 3 of Ephesians 6.
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Look at Verse 4.
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"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath,
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but bring them up in the training
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and admonition of the Lord."
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Training -- think about this Scripture
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that all of you know, Proverbs 22:6.
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"Train"..."Train up a child." You train children.
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"Train up a child in the way he should go,
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and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
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Now, we're gonna talk about training,
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and so I'm gonna talk about biblical training,
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and I don't have time to... I could devote an entire message
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to each of these three points, okay?
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So, I'm gonna talk a little about biblical training,
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and then we're gonna talk a little bit about spanking,
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because the Bible talks about spanking.
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Now, I know that there are books against spanking.
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We had some friends of ours that, years ago the wife
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said to my wife, to Debbie, you know, she had read
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some book and she said, "We stopped spanking in our home."
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And just a few weeks later, Debbie talked to her again
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and she said, "We started spanking again."
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[Laughter]
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Because this is the best book on raising children.
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I remember my son, James, he used to say to me,
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you know, when I'd say, "Son, you disobeyed," and I'd
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explain it to him, "You're going to get a spanking,"
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he'd say, "Daddy, can I tell you something first?
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Can I just tell you one thing before you spank me?"
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And I'd say, "Okay, you can tell me one thing."
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And then you could see him trying to think
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of something then, see?
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He was simply trying to, you know, postpone.
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He said, "I love you. I love you, Daddy."
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And I'd say, "Okay, now it's..." He said, "Well, wait.
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I love you, and I have $4, and I want to give you...
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I want to give you my $4.
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And Daddy, when I grow up, I'm gonna build you
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and Mommy a big house and let you live in it for free."
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You know, so he did whatever he could to get out of it,
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but he never got out of it. All right, here's the --
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Let me read you a Scripture.
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I'm gonna read it out of "The Message,"
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because I just like the way that this translates this.
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Proverbs 23:13-14, "Don't be afraid
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to correct your young ones. A spanking won't kill them.
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A good spanking, in fact, might save them
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from something worse than death."
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"A good spanking might save them from something,"
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now watch this, "worse than death."
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What would be worse than death?
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So, let me show you what it says in the New King James.
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It says, "And deliver his soul from hell."
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So see, if I have a choice whether to listen
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to the experts out there that don't know God
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or listen to God, and it says that spanking
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could deliver my child's soul from hell,
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that's pretty important.
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Matter of fact, again the Bible is strong on this point,
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and again, we try to dilute it.
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And let me just clarify, when I talk about spanking,
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obviously I'm not talking about abuse, or anger,
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or anything like that, and there's a whole message
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that I did years ago on this, so you could listen
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to that if you want to reference it.
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But, we think the Bible says spare the rod, spoil the child.
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The Bible does not say that.
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It makes it much stronger, and see, because we think,
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"Oh, I wouldn't mind spoiling the child a little bit."
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It doesn't say if you spare the rod,
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you spoil the child.
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Here's what it actually says.
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Proverbs 13:24, "He who spares his rod hates his son,
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but he who loves him disciplines him promptly."
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So, let me give you three, just three thoughts
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about discipline that might help you
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if you're in this phase of life. One is be clear.
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Be clear in your communication.
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I remember one time I walked out in the backyard.
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James, my son, was throwing rocks in the swimming pool.
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I said to him, "James, do not throw any rocks
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in the swimming pool."
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He looked at me, went over and grabbed
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his brother's bicycle, and threw it in the swimming pool.
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[Laughter]
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I didn't say, "Don't throw bicycles in the pool."
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So, I had to be clear -- "Don't throw anything in the pool.
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If you throw anything in the pool,
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including other people, I'm going to spank you."
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I had to be very clear with him, all right?
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So, one is be clear.
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The other thing is be convincing.
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"Daddy is going to spank you.
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Let me tell you why Daddy is going to spank you --
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because Daddy loves you.
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Bad things happen to people who do bad things."
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That's what I would tell my children.
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"I don't want bad things to happen to you,
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so I am training you now not to do bad things,
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because when you get older and you do bad things,
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you go to prison.
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Things happen to you, bad things happen
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to people who do bad things.
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The only reason I'm doing this is because I love you,"
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and I'd be very convincing.
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"Daddy will spank you if you hit your sister
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with that plastic bat.
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You stop swinging the plastic bat in the house,
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because you could hit your sister accidentally,
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like you have already done four times.
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So, Daddy will spank you.
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You will get a spanking if you do this."
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Be convincing.
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And the last thing is be compassionate.
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Never spank in anger.
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If you have to cool down some, cool down.
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Explain to them. Take them to another room.
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Never spank in public.
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Never, ever, ever, because shame
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is never a part of discipline with God.
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God never shames us.
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We shame ourselves, but God doesn't shame us.
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We humiliate ourselves, but God humbles us.
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So, I'm just letting you know, don't do it in public.
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Go somewhere else. Be compassionate.
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I would have fun with them afterwards.
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Every time after I would spank them, I would do
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something fun with them.
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It takes time for godly discipline,
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because I wanted them to know it was over.
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So, the first phase is training, all right?
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It refers to childhood.
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Second phase, here's number two: teaching.
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This refers to adolescence.
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From 13 to 19, we move from training to teaching.
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Ephesians 6:4, let's go back to that verse.
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"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children
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to wrath, but bring them up in the training,"
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we already talked about that, "and admonition of the Lord."
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Let me tell you why I use the word "teaching".
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That's what this word means.
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Admonition means instruction or teaching.
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Bring them up in the teaching of the Lord.
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Deuteronomy 4:9, "Teach them," them refers to statutes.
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"Teach them to your children and your grandchildren."
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Deuteronomy 6:7, "You shall teach them
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diligently to your children."
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So, think about this, all right?
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Adolescence refers to the transition of a child
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becoming an adult.
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We refer to it as teenage years, but it refers to that time.
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This is a time when we go to teaching.
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It begins at 12 or 13, somewhere around that age.
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You see it in Jewish culture as well.
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There becomes a time of teaching.
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We even see it in Jesus' life,
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and there's a really famous story about Jesus
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that I think we miss something very important.
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When Jesus was in the temple, remember?
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And there's a great part of it, and I'm not minimizing
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this part, but because of this part,
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I think we miss the other part.
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But, the teachers and the rabbis in the temple
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were so impressed with His answers.
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Now, that's a great thing, but I want you
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to notice something that Jesus Himself did
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as He's making a transition from childhood to adolescence.
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Luke 2:42, "And when He was twelve years old,
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they went to Jerusalem according to the custom of the feast."
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And then, Verse 46, "Now so it was that after three days,"
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remember they left and then they came back
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and found him, "they found Him in the temple,
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sitting in the midst of the teachers,"
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watch what Jesus was doing, "both listening to them
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and asking them questions."
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"Listening to them and asking them questions."
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That's what Jesus was doing, Jesus Himself.
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This is a time when teenagers are going
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to begin to ask questions.
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You need to understand something.
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This is the time for you to help them transition
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from being a child, and think about this.
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How many times though do we say something like this,
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or a teenager says something like this to us?
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"You're treating me like a child."
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You ever hear that?
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And of course, what's our response?
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"Well, you're acting like a child," and they probably are.
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But, it's our responsibility to teach them
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not to act like a child.
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It's to begin to train them, to teach them.
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Let me say it another way.
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We tell a child what to think,
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or we train a child what to think.
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We teach, in adolescence, how to think.
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Let me say that again.
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We tell a child what to think.
00:13:03.100 --> 00:13:05.210
We tell them.
00:13:05.240 --> 00:13:06.260
This is what you're going to do.
00:13:06.290 --> 00:13:09.150
We tell a child what to think, but we teach,
00:13:09.180 --> 00:13:12.260
in adolescence, how to think.
00:13:12.290 --> 00:13:15.170
So, you begin to move in this transitional time
00:13:15.200 --> 00:13:18.060
where you begin to ask your teenagers questions.
00:13:18.090 --> 00:13:20.220
"What kind of criteria are you going to use?"
00:13:20.250 --> 00:13:25.170
This is what you would ask a teenager.
00:13:25.200 --> 00:13:26.260
"What kind of criteria are you going to use
00:13:26.290 --> 00:13:30.040
when you choose your friends?"
00:13:30.070 --> 00:13:33.210
See, they start thinking then, "What do they mean?
00:13:33.240 --> 00:13:35.260
I've never thought before about that."
00:13:35.290 --> 00:13:37.180
"What type of study habits are you trying to develop now
00:13:37.210 --> 00:13:42.060
that are going to help you later in life?"
00:13:42.090 --> 00:13:44.270
Here's a question I wish someone had asked me
00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:49.010
when I was a teenager.
00:13:49.040 --> 00:13:51.000
"Do you think the choices that you make now
00:13:51.030 --> 00:13:54.140
will affect you as an adult?"
00:13:54.170 --> 00:13:57.240
I never thought that I would deal with some of the things
00:13:57.270 --> 00:14:00.270
I've had to deal with as an adult
00:14:01.000 --> 00:14:02.000
because of things I did as a teenager.
00:14:02.030 --> 00:14:05.090
This is a time to ask questions.
00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:06.180
When our children were making this transition
00:14:06.210 --> 00:14:11.070
to adolescence, at the age of 13
00:14:11.100 --> 00:14:15.160
we had a covenant ceremony with them.
00:14:15.190 --> 00:14:18.140
I did it with the guys, Debbie did it with our daughter.
00:14:18.170 --> 00:14:22.030
We would take them on an overnight trip.
00:14:22.060 --> 00:14:24.160
We had a ring for them.
00:14:24.190 --> 00:14:26.060
So, I did both our boys, Debbie did our daughter.
00:14:26.090 --> 00:14:29.060
We made a covenant with them.
00:14:29.090 --> 00:14:30.290
Now, part of the things that we talked about
00:14:31.020 --> 00:14:32.150
in our covenant -- we talked about a lot of things,
00:14:32.180 --> 00:14:33.260
but let me just use one as an example.
00:14:33.290 --> 00:14:35.280
We talked about dating.
00:14:36.010 --> 00:14:37.230
We went through the facts of life with them.
00:14:37.260 --> 00:14:39.270
We did it when they were 10 and 13.
00:14:40.000 --> 00:14:41.240
The reason we did it when they were 10
00:14:41.270 --> 00:14:43.200
is because they were gonna hear things at school.
00:14:43.230 --> 00:14:45.160
So, we went through the facts of life,
00:14:45.190 --> 00:14:47.050
but at 13 was when we made the covenant.
00:14:47.080 --> 00:14:49.090
And when we went through that, we said,
00:14:49.120 --> 00:14:51.010
"Now, here are some things you need to understand.
00:14:51.040 --> 00:14:52.230
You're going to begin to start being attracted
00:14:52.260 --> 00:14:54.220
to the opposite sex, and when that happens,
00:14:54.250 --> 00:14:57.260
we want to tell you some things that's going
00:14:57.290 --> 00:15:00.190
to happen in your body.
00:15:00.220 --> 00:15:01.220
We're gonna tell you some things that will happen
00:15:01.250 --> 00:15:02.280
in your emotions," and so we told them.
00:15:03.010 --> 00:15:04.200
And then we said, "We want to make a covenant with you.
00:15:04.230 --> 00:15:07.230
You have a part and we have a part."
00:15:07.260 --> 00:15:10.030
And we said, "Your part is that you'll talk to us
00:15:10.060 --> 00:15:12.210
and be open and honest with us when you're attracted
00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:15.070
to someone, that you'll keep yourself pure,
00:15:15.100 --> 00:15:18.250
that you won't cross these boundaries that God
00:15:18.280 --> 00:15:21.040
has set in place for your protection before marriage."
00:15:21.070 --> 00:15:25.010
We went through all of the things
00:15:25.040 --> 00:15:26.040
of this is your part of the covenant.
00:15:26.070 --> 00:15:27.180
Then I said, "This is my part of the covenant.
00:15:27.210 --> 00:15:30.260
My part of the covenant is that I commit myself to pray
00:15:30.290 --> 00:15:33.200
with you about your spouse," and we explained to them why.
00:15:33.230 --> 00:15:37.130
You have to tell teenagers why.
00:15:37.160 --> 00:15:39.030
We said, "Because we know you better than anyone else
00:15:39.060 --> 00:15:42.050
in the world knows you. We know your personality.
00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:45.080
We know your giftings.
00:15:45.110 --> 00:15:47.030
So, we're gonna help you in this process".
00:15:47.060 --> 00:15:49.010
But then, I wanted to kind of incentivize
00:15:49.040 --> 00:15:54.130
my teenagers, you know?
00:15:54.160 --> 00:15:56.260
And so, I said, "And part of my covenant is...
00:15:56.290 --> 00:16:00.290
you're gonna keep your part, but part of my covenant is
00:16:01.020 --> 00:16:04.040
that I'm going to pay for any expenses with the wedding,
00:16:04.070 --> 00:16:08.020
whether you're a boy or a girl, 'cause there are expenses
00:16:08.050 --> 00:16:09.230
on both sides. I'm gonna pay.
00:16:09.260 --> 00:16:12.170
Another thing I'm gonna do is I'm gonna pay
00:16:12.200 --> 00:16:13.200
for your honeymoon.
00:16:13.230 --> 00:16:15.180
I'm gonna pay for your college.
00:16:15.210 --> 00:16:18.020
Whatever it is, I'll pay for all of it.
00:16:18.050 --> 00:16:19.200
You'll have no student debt, no matter what.
00:16:19.230 --> 00:16:21.120
I'll take on the student debt if I have to."
00:16:21.150 --> 00:16:23.290
And then I said, "And I'm going to help you buy
00:16:24.020 --> 00:16:26.020
your first house."
00:16:26.050 --> 00:16:28.080
Now, I look back on that now...
00:16:28.110 --> 00:16:31.070
[Laughter]
00:16:31.100 --> 00:16:35.020
And think, "Thank God that people buy my books now,
00:16:35.050 --> 00:16:38.290
because I wouldn't have been able to keep all
00:16:39.020 --> 00:16:42.000
of these promises that I made,
00:16:42.030 --> 00:16:43.160
and I don't know why I did that!"
00:16:43.190 --> 00:16:45.010
But, we've been able to help our children financially.
00:16:45.040 --> 00:16:47.150
But, I remember with Josh, my oldest son,
00:16:47.180 --> 00:16:50.020
when he was 13 I wanted to teach him something
00:16:50.050 --> 00:16:53.020
about God's grace during this time.
00:16:53.050 --> 00:16:56.010
And so, I went through this and I said,
00:16:56.040 --> 00:16:57.140
"Now, we're making a covenant.
00:16:57.170 --> 00:16:58.180
You have a part and I have a part."
00:16:58.210 --> 00:17:00.180
And I said to him, "And my part is very big, too.
00:17:00.210 --> 00:17:04.240
It's a big financial commitment on my part."
00:17:04.270 --> 00:17:07.150
I said, "But what's going to happen
00:17:07.180 --> 00:17:10.170
if you don't do your part?"
00:17:10.200 --> 00:17:13.270
And I was expecting him to say,
00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:15.220
"Well, then you won't do your part.
00:17:15.250 --> 00:17:18.010
"Well, my 13 year old son surprised me.
00:17:18.040 --> 00:17:20.000
He sat there for a moment and he said,
00:17:20.030 --> 00:17:23.260
"You'll probably still do your part."
00:17:23.290 --> 00:17:27.050
And I remember thinking, "You stole my thunder!"
00:17:27.080 --> 00:17:30.030
[Laughter]
00:17:30.060 --> 00:17:31.120
You stole my teaching moment, you know?
00:17:31.150 --> 00:17:34.210
And I said, "Well, if you don't do your part,
00:17:34.240 --> 00:17:37.070
why do you think that I'll do my part?"
00:17:37.100 --> 00:17:40.140
And he said, "Because you've taught me
00:17:40.170 --> 00:17:43.220
that even when we do things wrong, God still loves us.
00:17:43.250 --> 00:17:50.120
And I think you're like God, Daddy,
00:17:50.150 --> 00:17:54.280
and I think you're gonna love me anyway."
00:17:55.010 --> 00:17:56.210
[Applause]
00:17:56.240 --> 00:17:58.270
This is what we do.
00:17:59.000 --> 00:18:00.190
This is a time of life we take our young people
00:18:00.220 --> 00:18:03.140
through from childhood to adulthood,
00:18:03.170 --> 00:18:05.260
and it's very important.
00:18:05.290 --> 00:18:07.080
And then the last, adulthood, I'm using the word "trusting."
00:18:07.110 --> 00:18:12.120
Trusting, so hopefully we can remember
00:18:12.150 --> 00:18:14.000
these three words: training, teaching, trusting.
00:18:14.030 --> 00:18:18.030
Let me say it another way. Children are trained.
00:18:18.060 --> 00:18:22.220
Teenagers are taught. Adults are trusted.
00:18:22.250 --> 00:18:28.050
Adulthood, again in the Bible, starts at 20 years old.
00:18:28.080 --> 00:18:31.030
I don't have time to give you all of the Scriptures,
00:18:31.060 --> 00:18:34.050
but I'll give you just a few references
00:18:34.080 --> 00:18:35.280
that you can look at later, all right?
00:18:36.010 --> 00:18:38.010
Exodus 30:14 says at 20, they would begin to give offerings.
00:18:38.040 --> 00:18:44.120
Now, I think it's good to teach our children
00:18:44.150 --> 00:18:45.200
to give offerings, but this was actually referring
00:18:45.230 --> 00:18:48.110
to a temple tax.
00:18:48.140 --> 00:18:50.020
They were required to start paying this when they turned 20.
00:18:50.050 --> 00:18:54.040
God saw them as adults.
00:18:54.070 --> 00:18:55.280
Numbers 1:3, at 20, they had to go to war.
00:18:56.010 --> 00:19:00.020
They didn't have to go to war until they were 20 years old.
00:19:00.050 --> 00:19:02.180
God saw them as adults.
00:19:02.210 --> 00:19:04.100
Numbers 14:29-32 -- at 20, they were held responsible
00:19:04.130 --> 00:19:10.190
for their sin, at 20. This is how He said it.
00:19:10.220 --> 00:19:15.220
He said, "Your little ones, who have no knowledge
00:19:15.250 --> 00:19:17.090
of good and evil, will still go into the Promised Land.
00:19:17.120 --> 00:19:21.040
But everyone 20 years old and up,
00:19:21.070 --> 00:19:24.120
other than Joshua and Caleb, will die in the wilderness."
00:19:24.150 --> 00:19:27.290
So, God sets an age at 20.
00:19:28.020 --> 00:19:30.040
Now, one of the things that many of us have done
00:19:30.070 --> 00:19:32.250
is kind of said, and I've even heard people
00:19:32.280 --> 00:19:36.100
say this: "Well, once they're married, they're adults."
00:19:36.130 --> 00:19:39.060
No, that's not true.
00:19:39.090 --> 00:19:40.240
They're adults when they turn 20.
00:19:40.270 --> 00:19:42.220
So, one of the Scriptures that people will use is,
00:19:42.250 --> 00:19:45.230
"Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother
00:19:45.260 --> 00:19:47.240
and cleave to his wife."
00:19:47.270 --> 00:19:48.280
In other words, they're under my authority
00:19:49.010 --> 00:19:50.140
until they get married.
00:19:50.170 --> 00:19:52.030
No, take the Scripture for what it says.
00:19:52.060 --> 00:19:54.120
Listen to what it says.
00:19:54.150 --> 00:19:55.220
"Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother."
00:19:55.250 --> 00:20:03.010
It doesn't say a boy. He's already a man.
00:20:03.040 --> 00:20:06.220
And think about this.
00:20:06.250 --> 00:20:08.160
What if they never get married?
00:20:08.190 --> 00:20:10.140
Some people are not called to marriage.
00:20:10.170 --> 00:20:12.020
Some are called to celibacy, that Jesus even talked
00:20:12.050 --> 00:20:14.010
about that Himself.
00:20:14.040 --> 00:20:15.010
So, what if they never get married?
00:20:15.040 --> 00:20:16.070
Are they gonna have to, you know, when they're 65,
00:20:16.100 --> 00:20:18.090
they're gonna have to ask your permission
00:20:18.120 --> 00:20:19.150
to retire, you know?
00:20:19.180 --> 00:20:20.290
So, they're grown and they need to be treated as adults.
00:20:21.020 --> 00:20:26.270
This is the reason that I made this message
00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:28.130
"Blessed Sons and Daughters," not "Blessed Children."
00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:31.260
I am calling them adult sons and daughters,
00:20:31.290 --> 00:20:35.220
and I don't even like the term "adult children."
00:20:35.250 --> 00:20:39.060
It's an oxymoron. Think about it.
00:20:39.090 --> 00:20:42.170
If they're adults, then they're not children.
00:20:42.200 --> 00:20:46.070
And we have all of these problems because people
00:20:46.100 --> 00:20:48.090
don't understand, and I really think parents
00:20:48.120 --> 00:20:50.070
get in the way sometimes when God's trying
00:20:50.100 --> 00:20:53.230
to do something in an adult's life.
00:20:53.260 --> 00:20:57.090
They're adults now.
00:20:57.120 --> 00:20:58.290
Our parenting role is over." Parent, the word "parent,"
00:20:59.020 --> 00:21:03.270
can be a noun and it can be a verb.
00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:07.020
In other words, yes, I am a parent,
00:21:07.050 --> 00:21:10.290
but I do not parent anymore, because I don't have
00:21:11.020 --> 00:21:16.020
children anymore, I have adult sons and daughters.
00:21:16.050 --> 00:21:19.270
Are you all following this? Okay.
00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:22.140
And I've got to see them as that way.
00:21:22.170 --> 00:21:23.250
Let me tell you another thing.
00:21:23.280 --> 00:21:24.260
You might not have ever thought about this.
00:21:24.290 --> 00:21:27.060
My sons and daughters, this might blow you away.
00:21:27.090 --> 00:21:34.230
My sons and daughters are now my brothers and sisters in Christ.
00:21:34.260 --> 00:21:44.150
In Christ, there is no male nor female.
00:21:44.180 --> 00:21:49.120
In Christ, they're my -- listen, this is why
00:21:49.150 --> 00:21:52.040
I say sons and daughters.
00:21:52.070 --> 00:21:53.200
Yes, I have sons and daughters.
00:21:53.230 --> 00:21:55.280
They all have children of their own.
00:21:56.010 --> 00:21:58.200
They're parents now.
00:21:58.230 --> 00:22:00.070
Yes, they're my sons and daughters,
00:22:00.100 --> 00:22:02.240
but they're mothers and fathers.
00:22:02.270 --> 00:22:05.050
So, they're not my kids anymore,
00:22:05.080 --> 00:22:07.190
they're my brothers and sisters in Christ.
00:22:07.220 --> 00:22:09.110
That means that they can come to me for advice,
00:22:09.140 --> 00:22:11.190
but what they're actually doing is they're coming
00:22:11.220 --> 00:22:13.100
to a brother in Christ!
00:22:13.130 --> 00:22:16.270
Do you realize that some sons and daughters,
00:22:17.000 --> 00:22:19.030
some grown sons and daughters, won't go to their parents
00:22:19.060 --> 00:22:21.110
anymore for advice? There are two reasons why.
00:22:21.140 --> 00:22:24.020
One is, sometimes parents try to control.
00:22:24.050 --> 00:22:27.220
It's one is, parents... let me say it this way.
00:22:27.250 --> 00:22:29.180
Parents think, if they don't take my advice,
00:22:29.210 --> 00:22:33.000
that's dishonoring me. That's not honoring me.
00:22:33.030 --> 00:22:35.190
You know, "You asked us if you should make this move,
00:22:35.220 --> 00:22:38.250
and we said no, but you did it anyway, and the Bible says
00:22:38.280 --> 00:22:41.250
you're to honor your mother and father."
00:22:41.280 --> 00:22:43.110
Let me just talk to some of you about that right there.
00:22:43.140 --> 00:22:46.000
Let me tell you what that actually is.
00:22:46.030 --> 00:22:47.250
That's spiritual abuse.
00:22:47.280 --> 00:22:50.020
When you quote Scripture to get your way, that's wrong.
00:22:50.050 --> 00:22:54.120
You don't have any more authority in that person's life.
00:22:54.150 --> 00:22:57.130
That person's a grown-up. That person's an adult.
00:22:57.160 --> 00:23:00.070
So, sometimes grown sons and daughters,
00:23:00.100 --> 00:23:04.020
adult sons and daughters, won't go to their parents for counsel,
00:23:04.050 --> 00:23:07.010
but then sometimes it's the other way around, too.
00:23:07.040 --> 00:23:09.030
Sometimes there is a dishonoring,
00:23:09.060 --> 00:23:10.280
because you ought to honor them and ask for their counsel.
00:23:11.010 --> 00:23:14.080
"Honor your mother and father."
00:23:14.110 --> 00:23:15.260
It doesn't mean you have to do it.
00:23:15.290 --> 00:23:17.120
Because you're an adult, you have to hear God.
00:23:17.150 --> 00:23:19.080
I've known adult sons and daughters
00:23:19.110 --> 00:23:22.010
that have just announced, made an announcement --
00:23:22.040 --> 00:23:25.240
"We've decided we're moving," or "I've decided to quit my job,"
00:23:25.270 --> 00:23:29.110
and they never even asked them.
00:23:29.140 --> 00:23:30.200
That is dishonoring.
00:23:30.230 --> 00:23:32.080
That is dishonoring, and here's the reason
00:23:32.110 --> 00:23:34.030
that they do it many times, is because they haven't made
00:23:34.060 --> 00:23:36.190
the transition from adolescence or childhood to adulthood yet,
00:23:36.220 --> 00:23:41.100
and they don't have the courage to say, you know,
00:23:41.130 --> 00:23:44.220
"Would you pray with us about this,"
00:23:44.250 --> 00:23:46.290
because they fear the parents might say,
00:23:47.020 --> 00:23:48.250
"Well, we would rather you not do this."
00:23:48.280 --> 00:23:50.200
They don't have the courage then to say,
00:23:50.230 --> 00:23:52.110
"Well, thank you, we'll go back and pray again."
00:23:52.140 --> 00:23:54.190
But then, they might have to come back and say,
00:23:54.220 --> 00:23:56.290
"Now that we've prayed about it, we appreciate your counsel,
00:23:57.020 --> 00:23:59.130
but we know for sure this is what God has spoken to us."
00:23:59.160 --> 00:24:03.050
Are you all following me?
00:24:03.080 --> 00:24:04.180
This would solve about 99% of family marriage counseling
00:24:04.210 --> 00:24:10.280
right here, if we would allow
00:24:11.010 --> 00:24:13.220
adult sons and daughters to just simply grow up
00:24:13.250 --> 00:24:17.250
and treat them as brothers and sisters.
00:24:17.280 --> 00:24:19.280
ROBERT: You know, one of the greatest blessings
00:24:20.170 --> 00:24:21.290
that I have is to see my three children grown, married,
00:24:22.020 --> 00:24:26.180
and serving God, but you've probably heard me talk about it
00:24:26.210 --> 00:24:29.180
before that there was a time when my daughter
00:24:29.210 --> 00:24:32.040
walked away from the Lord.
00:24:32.070 --> 00:24:33.190
It was one of the most difficult times of our lives,
00:24:33.220 --> 00:24:36.060
but God was so faithful in her life,
00:24:36.090 --> 00:24:39.160
and now she's serving God full-time.
00:24:39.190 --> 00:24:41.170
I just have a real burden on my heart to pray for you.
00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:45.040
If you've got a child that's away from God or not serving God
00:24:45.070 --> 00:24:48.130
with all of his heart or all of her heart,
00:24:48.160 --> 00:24:50.120
I believe that God can touch that child's heart.
00:24:50.150 --> 00:24:53.250
I'm talking about a small child, teenager,
00:24:53.280 --> 00:24:56.250
or even a grown child -- a grown son or a grown daughter.
00:24:56.280 --> 00:24:59.290
God wants to bring that child back and I want to agree
00:25:00.040 --> 00:25:03.050
with you today that God does a work
00:25:03.080 --> 00:25:05.200
and that we can see our children loving and serving God,
00:25:05.230 --> 00:25:09.110
as the Bible says, "to a thousand generations."
00:25:09.140 --> 00:25:13.110
God really does want to bless our families.
00:25:13.140 --> 00:25:16.030
I'm so grateful that you watch.
00:25:16.060 --> 00:25:18.020
I'm going to continue this series next week.
00:25:18.050 --> 00:25:20.180
Every family is different with their own personalities
00:25:21.030 --> 00:25:24.260
and struggles and destinies, but what's the secret
00:25:24.290 --> 00:25:28.060
to having a truly happy home life?
00:25:28.090 --> 00:25:30.280
In the five-part series, "Blessed Families,"
00:25:31.010 --> 00:25:33.040
Pastor Robert talks about God's design of how to live
00:25:33.070 --> 00:25:35.290
in His blessing for your family.
00:25:36.020 --> 00:25:38.060
You will learn how to live in a blessed family,
00:25:38.090 --> 00:25:40.080
and how to experience all that God has planned
00:25:40.110 --> 00:25:42.270
for your marriage and your children.
00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:44.220
You'll also discover the life transforming benefits
00:25:44.250 --> 00:25:47.160
of being adopted into a new spiritual family
00:25:47.190 --> 00:25:50.130
through what Jesus has done for you.
00:25:50.160 --> 00:25:52.290
For your gift any amount we want to send you this series
00:25:53.020 --> 00:25:56.000
on either CD or as a digital download.
00:25:56.030 --> 00:25:58.240
For your gift of $35 or more we will send you the CD series
00:25:58.270 --> 00:26:02.060
and the book "The Blessed Marriage"
00:26:02.090 --> 00:26:04.150
by Pastor Robert and Debbie Morris.
00:26:04.180 --> 00:26:06.130
In this book, Pastor Robert and Debbie share principles
00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:09.020
that they have learned and lived in order to build
00:26:09.050 --> 00:26:11.150
a healthy marriage that is centered on God's Word.
00:26:11.180 --> 00:26:14.170
And as our way of saying thank you for your gift $75 or more,
00:26:14.200 --> 00:26:18.130
we will send you "The Blessed Family" series
00:26:18.160 --> 00:26:20.150
on both CD and DVD, "The Blessed Marriage" book,
00:26:20.180 --> 00:26:23.150
and a custom tote bag.
00:26:23.180 --> 00:26:25.160
This canvassed-zippered tote will be a great addition
00:26:25.190 --> 00:26:27.280
to take along on your next family outing or vacation.
00:26:28.010 --> 00:26:31.230
This series is also available online
00:26:31.260 --> 00:26:33.170
in audio and video digital downloads.
00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:36.030
Be sure to call or visit us online today
00:26:36.060 --> 00:26:38.140
at PastorRobert.com to order these resources
00:26:38.170 --> 00:26:41.080
and start applying the principles from God's Word
00:26:41.110 --> 00:26:43.210
for a more united and blessed home.
00:26:43.240 --> 00:26:46.100
As always, thank you for your generous support
00:26:46.130 --> 00:26:48.260
of this ministry.
00:26:48.290 --> 00:26:50.150
00:26:50.180 --> 00:26:59.200
ANNOUNCER: Living your best life isn't about having a dream home,
00:27:01.190 --> 00:27:04.200
wonderful kids, or the ideal job.
00:27:04.230 --> 00:27:07.200
It's about changes in your family, health,
00:27:07.230 --> 00:27:10.170
and relationships.
00:27:10.200 --> 00:27:12.040
When God changes your heart, you'll discover
00:27:12.070 --> 00:27:14.120
that there is so much more to life.
00:27:14.150 --> 00:27:17.190
With humor, passion, and clarity,
00:27:17.220 --> 00:27:20.040
Pastor Robert presents,
00:27:20.070 --> 00:27:21.200
"The Secrets of Living Your Best Life."
00:27:21.230 --> 00:27:24.010
00:27:24.040 --> 00:27:28.150

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Blessed Sons and Daughters

Blessed Sons and Daughters

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Blessed Sons and Daughters

Blessed Sons and Daughters

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