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Blessed Sons and Daughters

Pastor Robert Morris Ministries

August 3, 2020

27:29

Pastor Robert explains that children are meant to be trained; adolescents taught; and adults trusted.

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Blessed Sons and Daughters

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ROBERT MORRIS: Think about it.
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If they're adults,then they're not children.
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And we have all of theseproblems because people
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don't understand,and I really think parents
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get in the way sometimeswhen God's trying
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to do somethingin an adult's life.
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♪ ♪
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ROBERT: I want to talkto you today about
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“Blessed Sons and Daughters,”and I specifically named
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this “Sons and Daughters,”because we're all sons
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and daughters of God,even though we are sons
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and daughters on this earth.
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But as sons and daughters,we go through three phases,
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and these phases are actuallyoutlined in the Bible.
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God designed these three phasesand I want to talk about how
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we relate to sons and daughtersin these three phases.
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The three phases, just soyou know, are childhood,
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adolescence, and adulthood.
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Childhood is birth to 12,adolescence 13 to 19,
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and these agesI'm getting from the Bible,
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and adulthood is 20 and above.
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So, I'll show you these three,and I'm gonna give you a word,
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so there will bethree words today
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that hopefully you can rememberthe key word about
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how to relate to sonsand daughters
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in each of phases,all right?
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So, in Ephesians 6, we're gonnastart with three verses.
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I think these three phasesof life are actually
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in these three verses,so I think you'll see them.
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I think you'll seechildhood, adolescence,
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and adulthood.All right?
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So, Ephesians 6,look at Verse 1.
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It says, “Children,” so we'retalking about childhood,
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“obey yourparents in the Lord,
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for this is right.”
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So, this is the first thingchildren need to learn
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during this 0 to 12.
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They need to learnto obey their parents.
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I think Verse 2 is actuallyreferring to adolescence.
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“Honor your father and mother.”
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I think teenagers need to learnto honor one another
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and honor other people.
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I think honor is the biggestthing they need to learn
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at that time, during thatadolescent phase.
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“Which is the firstcommandment with promise.”
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And then Verse 3, I thinkis referring to adulthood.
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Watch this.
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“That it may be well with you
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and you may livelong on the earth.”
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In other words, as adults,that things may go well
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with you and youmay live long on the earth.
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I have thought about this,because a lot of times
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when you ask people,“What's the promise
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if you honor your motherand father,”
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they seem to all say,“Oh, the promise
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is that you may livelong on the earth.”
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Well, the promiseis actually that things
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may go well with you,
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and that you may livelong on the earth.
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And I don't mean this wrong,but who wants to live long
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if things aren't going well?
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So, that's a biggerpromise to me,
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“that things may go wellwith you,” all right?
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So, we're gonna lookat these three phases
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and how we relate to sonsand daughters, all right?
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So, number one phase,this is the word to try
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to help you to remember,is training.
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This refers to childhood,the childhood phase -- training.
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Now, we stopped at Verse 4.
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We read Verses 1 through3 of Ephesians 6.
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Look at Verse 4.
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“And you, fathers, do notprovoke your children to wrath,
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but bring them upin the training
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and admonition of the Lord.”
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Training --think about this Scripture
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that all of you know,Proverbs 22:6.
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“Train”...“Train up a child.”You train children.
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“Train up a childin the way he should go,
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and when he is old,he will not depart from it.”
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Now, we're gonna talkabout training,
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and so I'm gonna talk aboutbiblical training,
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and I don't have time to...I could devote an entire message
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to each of thesethree points, okay?
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So, I'm gonna talk a littleabout biblical training,
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and then we're gonna talka little bit about spanking,
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because the Bibletalks about spanking.
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Now, I know that thereare books against spanking.
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We had some friends of oursthat, years ago the wife
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said to my wife, to Debbie,you know, she had read
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some book and she said, “Westopped spanking in our home.”
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And just a few weeks later,Debbie talked to her again
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and she said, “We startedspanking again.”
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[Laughter]
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Because this is the bestbook on raising children.
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I remember my son, James,he used to say to me,
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you know, when I'd say,“Son, you disobeyed,” and I'd
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explain it to him, “You're goingto get a spanking,”
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he'd say, “Daddy, canI tell you something first?
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Can I just tell you one thingbefore you spank me?”
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And I'd say, “Okay,you can tell me one thing.”
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And then you could see himtrying to think
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of something then, see?
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He was simply trying to,you know, postpone.
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He said, “I love you.I love you, Daddy.”
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And I'd say, “Okay, nowit's...” He said, “Well, wait.
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I love you, and I have $4,and I want to give you...
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I want to give you my $4.
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And Daddy, when I grow up,I'm gonna build you
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and Mommy a big house and letyou live in it for free.”
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You know, so he did whateverhe could to get out of it,
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but he never got out of it.All right, here's the --
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Let me read you a Scripture.
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I'm gonna read itout of “The Message,”
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because I just like the waythat this translates this.
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Proverbs 23:13-14,“Don't be afraid
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to correct your young ones.A spanking won't kill them.
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A good spanking, in fact,might save them
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from something worsethan death.”
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“A good spanking mightsave them from something,”
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now watch this,“worse than death.”
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What would be worse than death?
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So, let me show you what itsays in the New King James.
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It says, “And deliverhis soul from hell.”
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So see, if I have a choicewhether to listen
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to the experts out therethat don't know God
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or listen to God,and it says that spanking
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could deliver mychild's soul from hell,
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that's pretty important.
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Matter of fact, again the Bibleis strong on this point,
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and again, we try to dilute it.
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And let me just clarify,when I talk about spanking,
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obviously I'm not talkingabout abuse, or anger,
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or anything like that,and there's a whole message
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that I did years ago on this,so you could listen
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to that if you wantto reference it.
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But, we think the Bible saysspare the rod, spoil the child.
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The Bible does not say that.
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It makes it much stronger,and see, because we think,
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“Oh, I wouldn't mind spoilingthe child a little bit.”
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It doesn't sayif you spare the rod,
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you spoil the child.
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Here's what itactually says.
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Proverbs 13:24, “He whospares his rod hates his son,
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but he who loves himdisciplines him promptly.”
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So, let me give you three,just three thoughts
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about disciplinethat might help you
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if you're in this phase of life.One is be clear.
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Be clear in your communication.
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I remember one timeI walked out in the backyard.
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James, my son, was throwingrocks in the swimming pool.
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I said to him, “James,do not throw any rocks
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in the swimming pool.”
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He looked at me,went over and grabbed
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his brother's bicycle, and threwit in the swimming pool.
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[Laughter]
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I didn't say, “Don'tthrow bicycles in the pool.”
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So, I had to be clear -- “Don'tthrow anything in the pool.
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If you throwanything in the pool,
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including other people,I'm going to spank you.”
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I had to be very clearwith him, all right?
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So, one is be clear.
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The other thingis be convincing.
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“Daddy is goingto spank you.
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Let me tell you why Daddyis going to spank you --
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because Daddy loves you.
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Bad things happen to peoplewho do bad things.”
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That's what I wouldtell my children.
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“I don't want bad thingsto happen to you,
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so I am training you nownot to do bad things,
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because when you get olderand you do bad things,
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you go to prison.
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Things happen to you,bad things happen
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to people who do bad things.
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The only reason I'm doingthis is because I love you,”
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and I'd be very convincing.
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“Daddy will spank youif you hit your sister
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with that plastic bat.
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You stop swingingthe plastic bat in the house,
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because you could hityour sister accidentally,
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like you have alreadydone four times.
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So, Daddy will spank you.
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You will get a spankingif you do this.”
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Be convincing.
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And the last thingis be compassionate.
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Never spank in anger.
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If you have to cooldown some, cool down.
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Explain to them.Take them to another room.
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Never spank in public.
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Never, ever, ever,because shame
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is never a partof discipline with God.
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God never shames us.
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We shame ourselves,but God doesn't shame us.
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We humiliate ourselves,but God humbles us.
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So, I'm just letting you know,don't do it in public.
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Go somewhere else.Be compassionate.
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I would have funwith them afterwards.
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Every time after I wouldspank them, I would do
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something fun with them.
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It takes timefor godly discipline,
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because I wanted themto know it was over.
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So, the first phaseis training, all right?
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It refers to childhood.
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Second phase,here's number two: teaching.
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This refers to adolescence.
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From 13 to 19, we movefrom training to teaching.
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Ephesians 6:4, let's goback to that verse.
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“And you, fathers,do not provoke your children
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to wrath, but bring them upin the training,”
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we already talked about that,“and admonition of the Lord.”
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Let me tell you why I usethe word “teaching”.
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That's what this word means.
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Admonition meansinstruction or teaching.
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Bring them up inthe teaching of the Lord.
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Deuteronomy 4:9, “Teach them,”them refers to statutes.
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“Teach them to your childrenand your grandchildren.”
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Deuteronomy 6:7,“You shall teach them
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diligently to your children.”
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So, think about this, all right?
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Adolescence refers tothe transition of a child
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becoming an adult.
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We refer to it as teenage years,but it refers to that time.
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This is a time whenwe go to teaching.
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It begins at 12 or 13,somewhere around that age.
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You see it in Jewishculture as well.
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There becomes atime of teaching.
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We even see itin Jesus' life,
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and there's a really famousstory about Jesus
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that I think we misssomething very important.
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When Jesus was inthe temple, remember?
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And there's a great part of it,and I'm not minimizing
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this part, but becauseof this part,
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I think we miss the other part.
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But, the teachers andthe rabbis in the temple
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were so impressedwith His answers.
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Now, that's a great thing,but I want you
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to notice somethingthat Jesus Himself did
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as He's making a transitionfrom childhood to adolescence.
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Luke 2:42, “And whenHe was twelve years old,
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they went to Jerusalem accordingto the custom of the feast.”
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And then, Verse 46, “Now so itwas that after three days,”
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remember they leftand then they came back
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and found him, “they foundHim in the temple,
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sitting in the midstof the teachers,”
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watch what Jesus was doing,“both listening to them
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and asking them questions.”
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“Listening to themand asking them questions.”
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That's what Jesuswas doing, Jesus Himself.
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This is a time whenteenagers are going
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to begin to ask questions.
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You need tounderstand something.
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This is the time for youto help them transition
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from being a child,and think about this.
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How many times though dowe say something like this,
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or a teenager says somethinglike this to us?
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“You're treatingme like a child.”
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You ever hear that?
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And of course,what's our response?
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“Well, you're acting like achild,” and they probably are.
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But, it's our responsibilityto teach them
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not to act like a child.
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It's to begin to train them,to teach them.
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Let me say it another way.
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We tell a child what to think,
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or we train a childwhat to think.
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We teach, in adolescence,how to think.
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Let me say that again.
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We tell a childwhat to think.
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We tell them.
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This is whatyou're going to do.
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We tell a child whatto think, but we teach,
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in adolescence, how to think.
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So, you begin to movein this transitional time
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where you begin to askyour teenagers questions.
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“What kind of criteriaare you going to use?”
00:13:20.925 --> 00:13:25.663
This is what youwould ask a teenager.
00:13:25.763 --> 00:13:26.965
“What kind of criteriaare you going to use
00:13:27.065 --> 00:13:30.235
when you choose your friends?”
00:13:30.335 --> 00:13:33.805
See, they start thinking then,“What do they mean?
00:13:33.905 --> 00:13:35.974
I've never thoughtbefore about that.”
00:13:36.074 --> 00:13:37.709
“What type of study habitsare you trying to develop now
00:13:37.809 --> 00:13:42.313
that are going to help youlater in life?”
00:13:42.413 --> 00:13:45.016
Here's a question I wishsomeone had asked me
00:13:45.116 --> 00:13:49.153
when I was a teenager.
00:13:49.254 --> 00:13:51.122
“Do you think the choicesthat you make now
00:13:51.222 --> 00:13:54.592
will affect you as an adult?”
00:13:54.692 --> 00:13:57.929
I never thought that I woulddeal with some of the things
00:13:58.029 --> 00:14:00.965
I've had to dealwith as an adult
00:14:01.065 --> 00:14:02.066
because of thingsI did as a teenager.
00:14:02.166 --> 00:14:05.370
This is a timeto ask questions.
00:14:05.470 --> 00:14:06.671
When our children weremaking this transition
00:14:06.771 --> 00:14:11.309
to adolescence,at the age of 13
00:14:11.409 --> 00:14:15.613
we had a covenantceremony with them.
00:14:15.713 --> 00:14:18.549
I did it with the guys,Debbie did it with our daughter.
00:14:18.650 --> 00:14:22.186
We would take themon an overnight trip.
00:14:22.287 --> 00:14:24.622
We had a ring for them.
00:14:24.722 --> 00:14:26.291
So, I did both our boys,Debbie did our daughter.
00:14:26.391 --> 00:14:29.294
We made a covenantwith them.
00:14:29.394 --> 00:14:31.062
Now, part of the thingsthat we talked about
00:14:31.162 --> 00:14:32.597
in our covenant --we talked about a lot of things,
00:14:32.697 --> 00:14:33.965
but let me just useone as an example.
00:14:34.065 --> 00:14:36.034
We talked about dating.
00:14:36.134 --> 00:14:37.869
We went through the factsof life with them.
00:14:37.969 --> 00:14:40.004
We did it when theywere 10 and 13.
00:14:40.104 --> 00:14:41.906
The reason we did itwhen they were 10
00:14:42.006 --> 00:14:43.775
is because they were gonna hearthings at school.
00:14:43.875 --> 00:14:45.643
So, we went throughthe facts of life,
00:14:45.743 --> 00:14:47.278
but at 13 was whenwe made the covenant.
00:14:47.378 --> 00:14:49.414
And when we wentthrough that, we said,
00:14:49.514 --> 00:14:51.149
“Now, here are some thingsyou need to understand.
00:14:51.249 --> 00:14:52.884
You're going to beginto start being attracted
00:14:52.984 --> 00:14:54.852
to the opposite sex,and when that happens,
00:14:54.953 --> 00:14:57.989
we want to tell yousome things that's going
00:14:58.089 --> 00:15:00.692
to happen in your body.
00:15:00.792 --> 00:15:01.793
We're gonna tell you somethings that will happen
00:15:01.893 --> 00:15:02.994
in your emotions,”and so we told them.
00:15:03.094 --> 00:15:04.729
And then we said, “We wantto make a covenant with you.
00:15:04.829 --> 00:15:07.832
You have a partand we have a part.”
00:15:07.932 --> 00:15:10.168
And we said, “Your part isthat you'll talk to us
00:15:10.268 --> 00:15:12.770
and be open and honestwith us when you're attracted
00:15:12.870 --> 00:15:15.306
to someone, that you'llkeep yourself pure,
00:15:15.406 --> 00:15:18.910
that you won't cross theseboundaries that God
00:15:19.010 --> 00:15:21.212
has set in place for yourprotection before marriage.”
00:15:21.312 --> 00:15:25.116
We went throughall of the things
00:15:25.216 --> 00:15:26.217
of this is your partof the covenant.
00:15:26.317 --> 00:15:27.685
Then I said, “This ismy part of the covenant.
00:15:27.785 --> 00:15:30.955
My part of the covenant isthat I commit myself to pray
00:15:31.055 --> 00:15:33.758
with you about your spouse,”and we explained to them why.
00:15:33.858 --> 00:15:37.528
You have to tellteenagers why.
00:15:37.628 --> 00:15:39.197
We said, “Because we knowyou better than anyone else
00:15:39.297 --> 00:15:42.266
in the world knows you.We know your personality.
00:15:42.367 --> 00:15:45.370
We know your giftings.
00:15:45.470 --> 00:15:47.205
So, we're gonna helpyou in this process”.
00:15:47.305 --> 00:15:49.140
But then, I wantedto kind of incentivize
00:15:49.240 --> 00:15:54.545
my teenagers, you know?
00:15:54.645 --> 00:15:56.981
And so, I said, “And partof my covenant is...
00:15:57.081 --> 00:16:01.019
you're gonna keep your part,but part of my covenant is
00:16:01.119 --> 00:16:04.188
that I'm going to pay for anyexpenses with the wedding,
00:16:04.288 --> 00:16:08.126
whether you're a boy or a girl,‘cause there are expenses
00:16:08.226 --> 00:16:09.827
on both sides.I'm gonna pay.
00:16:09.927 --> 00:16:12.630
Another thing I'm gonna dois I'm gonna pay
00:16:12.730 --> 00:16:13.731
for your honeymoon.
00:16:13.831 --> 00:16:15.666
I'm gonna payfor your college.
00:16:15.767 --> 00:16:18.136
Whatever it is,I'll pay for all of it.
00:16:18.236 --> 00:16:19.737
You'll have no student debt,no matter what.
00:16:19.837 --> 00:16:21.472
I'll take on the studentdebt if I have to.”
00:16:21.572 --> 00:16:24.042
And then I said, “AndI'm going to help you buy
00:16:24.142 --> 00:16:26.144
your first house.”
00:16:26.244 --> 00:16:28.346
Now, I lookback on that now...
00:16:28.446 --> 00:16:31.315
[Laughter]
00:16:31.416 --> 00:16:35.153
And think, “Thank Godthat people buy my books now,
00:16:35.253 --> 00:16:39.057
because I wouldn't havebeen able to keep all
00:16:39.157 --> 00:16:42.093
of these promises that I made,
00:16:42.193 --> 00:16:43.628
and I don't knowwhy I did that!”
00:16:43.728 --> 00:16:45.129
But, we've been able to helpour children financially.
00:16:45.229 --> 00:16:47.598
But, I remember with Josh,my oldest son,
00:16:47.698 --> 00:16:50.168
when he was 13 I wantedto teach him something
00:16:50.268 --> 00:16:53.171
about God's graceduring this time.
00:16:53.271 --> 00:16:56.140
And so, I went throughthis and I said,
00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:57.575
“Now, we're making a covenant.
00:16:57.675 --> 00:16:58.709
You have a partand I have a part.”
00:16:58.810 --> 00:17:00.645
And I said to him,“And my part is very big, too.
00:17:00.745 --> 00:17:04.849
It's a big financialcommitment on my part.”
00:17:04.949 --> 00:17:07.552
I said, “But what'sgoing to happen
00:17:07.652 --> 00:17:10.621
if you don't do your part?”
00:17:10.721 --> 00:17:13.958
And I was expectinghim to say,
00:17:14.058 --> 00:17:15.793
“Well, then youwon't do your part.
00:17:15.893 --> 00:17:18.096
”Well, my 13 year old sonsurprised me.
00:17:18.196 --> 00:17:20.064
He sat there fora moment and he said,
00:17:20.164 --> 00:17:23.935
“You'll probablystill do your part.”
00:17:24.035 --> 00:17:27.238
And I remember thinking,“You stole my thunder!”
00:17:27.338 --> 00:17:30.174
[Laughter]
00:17:30.274 --> 00:17:31.476
You stole my teachingmoment, you know?
00:17:31.576 --> 00:17:34.779
And I said, “Well,if you don't do your part,
00:17:34.879 --> 00:17:37.315
why do you think thatI'll do my part?”
00:17:37.415 --> 00:17:40.551
And he said, “Becauseyou've taught me
00:17:40.651 --> 00:17:43.821
that even when we do thingswrong, God still loves us.
00:17:43.921 --> 00:17:50.495
And I think you'relike God, Daddy,
00:17:50.595 --> 00:17:55.032
and I think you'regonna love me anyway.”
00:17:55.133 --> 00:17:56.801
[Applause]
00:17:56.901 --> 00:17:59.003
This is what we do.
00:17:59.103 --> 00:18:00.671
This is a time of lifewe take our young people
00:18:00.771 --> 00:18:03.508
through fromchildhood to adulthood,
00:18:03.608 --> 00:18:05.910
and it's very important.
00:18:06.010 --> 00:18:07.311
And then the last, adulthood,I'm using the word “trusting.”
00:18:07.411 --> 00:18:12.450
Trusting, so hopefullywe can remember
00:18:12.550 --> 00:18:14.051
these three words:training, teaching, trusting.
00:18:14.152 --> 00:18:18.156
Let me say it another way.Children are trained.
00:18:18.256 --> 00:18:22.793
Teenagers are taught.Adults are trusted.
00:18:22.894 --> 00:18:28.232
Adulthood, again in the Bible,starts at 20 years old.
00:18:28.332 --> 00:18:31.169
I don't have time to giveyou all of the Scriptures,
00:18:31.269 --> 00:18:34.238
but I'll give youjust a few references
00:18:34.338 --> 00:18:36.007
that you can lookat later, all right?
00:18:36.107 --> 00:18:38.109
Exodus 30:14 says at 20, theywould begin to give offerings.
00:18:38.209 --> 00:18:44.482
Now, I think it's goodto teach our children
00:18:44.582 --> 00:18:45.750
to give offerings, but thiswas actually referring
00:18:45.850 --> 00:18:48.452
to a temple tax.
00:18:48.553 --> 00:18:50.154
They were required to startpaying this when they turned 20.
00:18:50.254 --> 00:18:54.225
God saw them as adults.
00:18:54.325 --> 00:18:56.027
Numbers 1:3, at 20,they had to go to war.
00:18:56.127 --> 00:19:00.097
They didn't have to go to waruntil they were 20 years old.
00:19:00.198 --> 00:19:02.633
God saw them as adults.
00:19:02.733 --> 00:19:04.368
Numbers 14:29-32 -- at 20,they were held responsible
00:19:04.468 --> 00:19:10.675
for their sin, at 20.This is how He said it.
00:19:10.775 --> 00:19:15.780
He said, “Your little ones,who have no knowledge
00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:17.348
of good and evil, will stillgo into the Promised Land.
00:19:17.448 --> 00:19:21.185
But everyone 20years old and up,
00:19:21.285 --> 00:19:24.455
other than Joshua and Caleb,will die in the wilderness.”
00:19:24.555 --> 00:19:28.025
So, God sets an age at 20.
00:19:28.125 --> 00:19:30.194
Now, one of the thingsthat many of us have done
00:19:30.294 --> 00:19:32.897
is kind of said,and I've even heard people
00:19:32.997 --> 00:19:36.400
say this: “Well, once they'remarried, they're adults.”
00:19:36.500 --> 00:19:39.270
No, that's not true.
00:19:39.370 --> 00:19:40.871
They're adultswhen they turn 20.
00:19:40.972 --> 00:19:42.807
So, one of the Scripturesthat people will use is,
00:19:42.907 --> 00:19:45.843
“Therefore, a man shallleave his father and mother
00:19:45.943 --> 00:19:47.878
and cleave to his wife.”
00:19:47.979 --> 00:19:49.013
In other words,they're under my authority
00:19:49.113 --> 00:19:50.548
until they get married.
00:19:50.648 --> 00:19:52.183
No, take the Scripturefor what it says.
00:19:52.283 --> 00:19:54.485
Listen to what it says.
00:19:54.585 --> 00:19:55.820
“Therefore, a man shall leavehis father and mother.”
00:19:55.920 --> 00:20:03.127
It doesn't say a boy.He's already a man.
00:20:03.227 --> 00:20:06.831
And think about this.
00:20:06.931 --> 00:20:08.633
What if theynever get married?
00:20:08.733 --> 00:20:10.568
Some people are notcalled to marriage.
00:20:10.668 --> 00:20:12.169
Some are called to celibacy,that Jesus even talked
00:20:12.270 --> 00:20:14.138
about that Himself.
00:20:14.238 --> 00:20:15.139
So, what if theynever get married?
00:20:15.239 --> 00:20:16.340
Are they gonna have to,you know, when they're 65,
00:20:16.440 --> 00:20:18.409
they're gonna haveto ask your permission
00:20:18.509 --> 00:20:19.610
to retire, you know?
00:20:19.710 --> 00:20:21.078
So, they're grown and they needto be treated as adults.
00:20:21.178 --> 00:20:27.018
This is the reasonthat I made this message
00:20:27.118 --> 00:20:28.552
“Blessed Sons and Daughters,”not “Blessed Children.”
00:20:28.653 --> 00:20:31.989
I am calling themadult sons and daughters,
00:20:32.089 --> 00:20:35.860
and I don't even likethe term “adult children.”
00:20:35.960 --> 00:20:39.330
It's an oxymoron.Think about it.
00:20:39.430 --> 00:20:42.700
If they're adults,then they're not children.
00:20:42.800 --> 00:20:46.370
And we have all of theseproblems because people
00:20:46.470 --> 00:20:48.439
don't understand,and I really think parents
00:20:48.539 --> 00:20:50.374
get in the way sometimeswhen God's trying
00:20:50.474 --> 00:20:53.911
to do somethingin an adult's life.
00:20:54.011 --> 00:20:57.448
They're adults now.
00:20:57.548 --> 00:20:59.116
Our parenting role is over.”Parent, the word “parent,”
00:20:59.216 --> 00:21:03.988
can be a noun andit can be a verb.
00:21:04.088 --> 00:21:07.158
In other words,yes, I am a parent,
00:21:07.258 --> 00:21:11.062
but I do not parent anymore,because I don't have
00:21:11.162 --> 00:21:16.167
children anymore,I have adult sons and daughters.
00:21:16.267 --> 00:21:20.004
Are you allfollowing this? Okay.
00:21:20.104 --> 00:21:22.573
And I've got to seethem as that way.
00:21:22.673 --> 00:21:23.941
Let me tell youanother thing.
00:21:24.041 --> 00:21:24.975
You might not haveever thought about this.
00:21:25.076 --> 00:21:27.311
My sons and daughters,this might blow you away.
00:21:27.411 --> 00:21:34.885
My sons and daughters are now mybrothers and sisters in Christ.
00:21:34.985 --> 00:21:44.628
In Christ, there isno male nor female.
00:21:44.729 --> 00:21:49.533
In Christ, they're my --listen, this is why
00:21:49.633 --> 00:21:52.269
I say sons and daughters.
00:21:52.370 --> 00:21:53.804
Yes, I have sonsand daughters.
00:21:53.904 --> 00:21:56.073
They all havechildren of their own.
00:21:56.173 --> 00:21:58.809
They're parents now.
00:21:58.909 --> 00:22:00.311
Yes, they're my sonsand daughters,
00:22:00.411 --> 00:22:02.880
but they're mothers and fathers.
00:22:02.980 --> 00:22:05.249
So, they're not my kids anymore,
00:22:05.349 --> 00:22:07.718
they're my brothersand sisters in Christ.
00:22:07.818 --> 00:22:09.453
That means that they cancome to me for advice,
00:22:09.553 --> 00:22:11.722
but what they're actuallydoing is they're coming
00:22:11.822 --> 00:22:13.424
to a brother in Christ!
00:22:13.524 --> 00:22:16.994
Do you realize that somesons and daughters,
00:22:17.094 --> 00:22:19.196
some grown sons and daughters,won't go to their parents
00:22:19.296 --> 00:22:21.465
anymore for advice?There are two reasons why.
00:22:21.565 --> 00:22:24.168
One is, sometimesparents try to control.
00:22:24.268 --> 00:22:27.838
It's one is, parents...let me say it this way.
00:22:27.938 --> 00:22:29.707
Parents think, if theydon't take my advice,
00:22:29.807 --> 00:22:33.110
that's dishonoring me.That's not honoring me.
00:22:33.210 --> 00:22:35.746
You know, “You asked usif you should make this move,
00:22:35.846 --> 00:22:38.949
and we said no, but you didit anyway, and the Bible says
00:22:39.049 --> 00:22:41.952
you're to honor yourmother and father.”
00:22:42.052 --> 00:22:43.487
Let me just talk to someof you about that right there.
00:22:43.587 --> 00:22:46.123
Let me tell you whatthat actually is.
00:22:46.223 --> 00:22:47.958
That's spiritual abuse.
00:22:48.058 --> 00:22:50.194
When you quote Scripture toget your way, that's wrong.
00:22:50.294 --> 00:22:54.532
You don't have any moreauthority in that person's life.
00:22:54.632 --> 00:22:57.568
That person's a grown-up.That person's an adult.
00:22:57.668 --> 00:23:00.304
So, sometimes grown sonsand daughters,
00:23:00.404 --> 00:23:04.141
adult sons and daughters, won'tgo to their parents for counsel,
00:23:04.241 --> 00:23:07.111
but then sometimes it'sthe other way around, too.
00:23:07.211 --> 00:23:09.180
Sometimes thereis a dishonoring,
00:23:09.280 --> 00:23:11.015
because you ought to honor themand ask for their counsel.
00:23:11.115 --> 00:23:14.351
“Honor your mother and father.”
00:23:14.452 --> 00:23:15.953
It doesn't meanyou have to do it.
00:23:16.053 --> 00:23:17.488
Because you're an adult,you have to hear God.
00:23:17.588 --> 00:23:19.356
I've known adultsons and daughters
00:23:19.457 --> 00:23:22.126
that have just announced,made an announcement --
00:23:22.226 --> 00:23:25.896
“We've decided we're moving,” or“I've decided to quit my job,”
00:23:25.996 --> 00:23:29.467
and they nevereven asked them.
00:23:29.567 --> 00:23:30.768
That is dishonoring.
00:23:30.868 --> 00:23:32.369
That is dishonoring,and here's the reason
00:23:32.470 --> 00:23:34.205
that they do it many times,is because they haven't made
00:23:34.305 --> 00:23:36.740
the transition from adolescenceor childhood to adulthood yet,
00:23:36.841 --> 00:23:41.445
and they don't havethe courage to say, you know,
00:23:41.545 --> 00:23:44.849
“Would you praywith us about this,”
00:23:44.949 --> 00:23:47.084
because they fearthe parents might say,
00:23:47.184 --> 00:23:48.953
“Well, we would ratheryou not do this.”
00:23:49.053 --> 00:23:50.788
They don't havethe courage then to say,
00:23:50.888 --> 00:23:52.490
“Well, thank you,we'll go back and pray again.”
00:23:52.590 --> 00:23:54.758
But then, they might haveto come back and say,
00:23:54.859 --> 00:23:57.094
“Now that we've prayed about it,we appreciate your counsel,
00:23:57.194 --> 00:23:59.563
but we know for sure this iswhat God has spoken to us.”
00:23:59.663 --> 00:24:03.234
Are you all following me?
00:24:03.334 --> 00:24:04.668
This would solve about 99%of family marriage counseling
00:24:04.768 --> 00:24:11.008
right here,if we would allow
00:24:11.108 --> 00:24:13.811
adult sons and daughtersto just simply grow up
00:24:13.911 --> 00:24:17.915
and treat themas brothers and sisters.
00:24:18.015 --> 00:24:20.017
ROBERT: You know, one ofthe greatest blessings
00:24:20.651 --> 00:24:22.052
that I have is to see my threechildren grown, married,
00:24:22.152 --> 00:24:26.690
and serving God, but you'veprobably heard me talk about it
00:24:26.790 --> 00:24:29.693
before that there wasa time when my daughter
00:24:29.793 --> 00:24:32.229
walked away from the Lord.
00:24:32.329 --> 00:24:33.731
It was one of the mostdifficult times of our lives,
00:24:33.831 --> 00:24:36.300
but God was sofaithful in her life,
00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:39.637
and now she's servingGod full-time.
00:24:39.737 --> 00:24:41.672
I just have a real burdenon my heart to pray for you.
00:24:41.772 --> 00:24:45.242
If you've got a child that'saway from God or not serving God
00:24:45.342 --> 00:24:48.546
with all of his heartor all of her heart,
00:24:48.646 --> 00:24:50.514
I believe that God can touchthat child's heart.
00:24:50.614 --> 00:24:53.951
I'm talking abouta small child, teenager,
00:24:54.051 --> 00:24:56.954
or even a grown child -- a grownson or a grown daughter.
00:24:57.054 --> 00:25:00.090
God wants to bring thatchild back and I want to agree
00:25:00.190 --> 00:25:03.227
with you todaythat God does a work
00:25:03.327 --> 00:25:05.729
and that we can see our childrenloving and serving God,
00:25:05.829 --> 00:25:09.433
as the Bible says,“to a thousand generations.”
00:25:09.533 --> 00:25:13.437
God really does wantto bless our families.
00:25:13.537 --> 00:25:16.173
I'm so grateful that you watch.
00:25:16.273 --> 00:25:18.142
I'm going to continuethis series next week.
00:25:18.242 --> 00:25:20.377
ANNOUNCER: We're so glad youjoined us for today's program
00:25:22.846 --> 00:25:24.715
on Blessed Families.
00:25:24.815 --> 00:25:26.850
Be encouraged and confident thatGod really does have a plan
00:25:26.951 --> 00:25:29.587
for your family,
00:25:29.687 --> 00:25:31.121
no matter where you findyourself today.
00:25:31.221 --> 00:25:33.490
Every family is different.
00:25:33.591 --> 00:25:35.025
With their own wins, struggles,and personalities,
00:25:35.125 --> 00:25:37.995
but what's the secret to havinga truly happy home life?
00:25:38.095 --> 00:25:41.265
In this five-part series, PastorRobert talks about God's design
00:25:41.365 --> 00:25:44.435
for families, and how to live inHis blessing.
00:25:44.535 --> 00:25:47.705
You'll learn how to go frombeing a broken family
00:25:47.805 --> 00:25:49.974
to being a blessed family,and how to experience
00:25:50.074 --> 00:25:52.142
all that God has planned foryour marriage and for
00:25:52.242 --> 00:25:54.778
your children.
00:25:54.878 --> 00:25:56.246
You'll also discover thelife-transforming benefits
00:25:56.347 --> 00:25:58.582
of being adopted into a newspiritual family.
00:25:58.682 --> 00:26:02.119
For your gift of any amounttoday, we want to send you
00:26:02.219 --> 00:26:04.221
this five-part series on eitherCD or as a digital download.
00:26:04.321 --> 00:26:08.792
Additionally, for your gift of$45 or more,
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we will send you the "BlessedFamilies" series
00:26:11.562 --> 00:26:14.064
on both CD and DVD.
00:26:14.164 --> 00:26:16.433
Don't let another day go bywithout living in God's
00:26:16.533 --> 00:26:18.669
very best for your family.
00:26:18.769 --> 00:26:20.604
Be sure to call or visit usonline today to request
00:26:20.704 --> 00:26:23.107
these resources, and startapplying the principles
00:26:23.207 --> 00:26:26.010
from God's word for a moreunited and blessed home.
00:26:26.110 --> 00:26:29.346
And while online atPastorRobert.com,
00:26:29.446 --> 00:26:31.682
you can share your prayer needswith us,
00:26:31.782 --> 00:26:33.484
or let us know what God has doneas a result of applying
00:26:33.584 --> 00:26:35.853
these truths from His word inyour life.
00:26:35.953 --> 00:26:38.589
You can also request this seriesas an audio and video
00:26:38.689 --> 00:26:41.125
digital download.
00:26:41.225 --> 00:26:43.093
We look forwardto hearing from you,
00:26:43.193 --> 00:26:44.361
and as always, we thank you foryour generous support
00:26:44.461 --> 00:26:46.597
of this ministry.
00:26:46.697 --> 00:26:48.065
♪ ♪
00:26:51.535 --> 00:26:59.777
ANNOUNCER: Introducing,the all-new PastorRobert.com.
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Where we've made it even easierfor you to connect with us.
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You can watch currentand previous episodes
00:27:07.851 --> 00:27:09.853
of our television program,
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shop at our online storewith enhanced security,
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and access a freeweekly devotional.
00:27:15.893 --> 00:27:18.896
We hope that our new featureswill help you find
00:27:18.996 --> 00:27:21.065
exactly what you needto continue to grow
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in your relationshipwith the Lord.
00:27:23.434 --> 00:27:25.502
To learn more visitus at PastorRobert.com.
00:27:25.602 --> 00:27:28.539

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Blessed Sons and Daughters

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