Blessed Families: Blessed Sons and Daughters | TBN

Blessed Families: Blessed Sons and Daughters

Watch Blessed Families: Blessed Sons and Daughters
July 10, 2019
27:34

Pastor Robert Morris Ministries

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Blessed Families: Blessed Sons and Daughters

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  • ROBE
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  • ROBERT
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  • ROBERT M
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  • ROBERT MORRI
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  • ROBERT MORRIS:
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  • ROBERT MORRIS: T
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  • ROBERT MORRIS: Thi
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  • ROBERT MORRIS: Think
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  • ROBERT MORRIS: Think a
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  • ROBERT MORRIS: Think abo
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  • ROBERT MORRIS: Think about
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  • ROBERT MORRIS: Think about i
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  • ROBERT MORRIS: Think about it.
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  • If they're adults, then they're not children.
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  • And we have all of these problems because people
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  • don't understand, and I really think parents
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  • get in the way sometimes when God's trying
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  • to do something in an adult's life.
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  • ROBERT: I want to talk to you today about
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  • Blessed Sons and Daughters, and I specifically named
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  • this Sons and Daughters, because we're all sons
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  • and daughters of God, even though we are sons
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  • and daughters on this earth.
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  • But as sons and daughters, we go through three phases,
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  • and these phases are actually outlined in the Bible.
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  • God designed these three phases and I want to talk about how
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  • we relate to sons and daughters in these three phases.
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  • The three phases, just so you know, are childhood,
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  • adolescence, and adulthood.
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  • Childhood is birth to 12, adolescence 13 to 19,
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  • and these ages I'm getting from the Bible,
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  • and adulthood is 20 and above.
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  • So, I'll show you these three, and I'm gonna give you a word,
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  • so there will be three words today
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  • that hopefully you can remember the key word about
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  • how to relate to sons and daughters
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  • in each of phases, all right?
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  • So, in Ephesians 6, we're gonna start with three verses.
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  • I think these three phases of life are actually
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  • in these three verses, so I think you'll see them.
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  • I think you'll see childhood, adolescence,
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  • and adulthood. All right?
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  • So, Ephesians 6, look at Verse 1.
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  • It says, Children, so we're talking about childhood,
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  • obey your parents in the Lord,
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  • for this is right.
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  • So, this is the first thing children need to learn
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  • during this 0 to 12.
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  • They need to learn to obey their parents.
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  • I think Verse 2 is actually referring to adolescence.
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  • Honor your father and mother
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  • I think teenagers need to learn to honor one another
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  • and honor other people.
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  • I think honor is the biggest thing they need to learn
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  • at that time, during that adolescent phase.
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  • Which is the first commandment with promise.
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  • And then Verse 3, I think is referring to adulthood.
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  • Watch this.
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  • That it may be well with you
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  • and you may live long on the earth.
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  • In other words, as adults, that things may go well
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  • with you and you may live long on the earth.
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  • I have thought about this, because a lot of times
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  • when you ask people, What's the promise
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  • if you honor your mother and father,
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  • they seem to all say, Oh, the promise
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  • is that you may live long on the earth.
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  • Well, the promise is actually that things
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  • may go well with you,
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  • and that you may live long on the earth.
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  • And I don't mean this wrong, but who wants to live long
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  • if things aren't going well?
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  • So, that's a bigger promise to me,
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  • that things may go well with you, all right?
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  • So, we're gonna look at these three phases
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  • and how we relate to sons and daughters, all right?
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  • So, number one phase, this is the word to try
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  • to help you to remember, is training.
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  • This refers to childhood, the childhood phase -- training.
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  • Now, we stopped at Verse 4.
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  • We read Verses 1 through 3 of Ephesians 6.
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  • Look at Verse 4.
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  • And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath,
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  • but bring them up in the training
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  • and admonition of the Lord.
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  • Training -- think about this Scripture
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  • that all of you know, Proverbs 22:6.
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  • Train...Train up a child. You train children.
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  • Train up a child in the way he should go,
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  • and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
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  • Now, we're gonna talk about training,
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  • and so I'm gonna talk about biblical training,
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  • and I don't have time to... I could devote an entire message
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  • to each of these three points, okay?
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  • So, I'm gonna talk a little about biblical training,
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  • and then we're gonna talk a little bit about spanking,
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  • because the Bible talks about spanking.
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  • Now, I know that there are books against spanking.
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  • We had some friends of ours that, years ago the wife
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  • said to my wife, to Debbie, you know, she had read
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  • some book and she said, We stopped spanking in our home.
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  • And just a few weeks later, Debbie talked to her again
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  • and she said, We started spanking again.
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  • [Laughter]
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  • Because this is the best book on raising children.
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  • I remember my son, James, he used to say to me,
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  • you know, when I'd say, Son, you disobeyed, and I'd
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  • explain it to him, You're going to get a spanking,
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  • he'd say, Daddy, can I tell you something first?
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  • Can I just tell you one thing before you spank me?
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  • And I'd say, Okay, you can tell me one thing.
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  • And then you could see him trying to think
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  • of something then, see?
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  • He was simply trying to, you know, postpone.
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  • He said, I love you. I love you, Daddy.
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  • And I'd say, Okay, now it's... He said, Well, wait.
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  • I love you, and I have $4, and I want to give you...
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  • I want to give you my $4.
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  • And Daddy, when I grow up, I'm gonna build you
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  • and Mommy a big house and let you live in it for free.
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  • You know, so he did whatever he could to get out of it,
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  • but he never got out of it. All right, here's the --
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  • Let me read you a Scripture.
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  • I'm gonna read it out of The Message,
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  • because I just like the way that this translates this.
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  • Proverbs 23:13-14, Don't be afraid
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  • to correct your young ones. A spanking won't kill them.
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  • A good spanking, in fact, might save them
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  • from something worse than death.
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  • A good spanking might save them from something,
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  • now watch this, worse than death.
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  • What would be worse than death?
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  • So, let me show you what it says in the New King James.
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  • It says, And deliver his soul from hell.
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  • So see, if I have a choice whether to listen
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  • to the experts out there that don't know God
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  • or listen to God, and it says that spanking
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  • could deliver my child's soul from hell,
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  • that's pretty important.
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  • Matter of fact, again the Bible is strong on this point,
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  • and again, we try to dilute it.
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  • And let me just clarify, when I talk about spanking,
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  • obviously I'm not talking about abuse, or anger,
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  • or anything like that, and there's a whole message
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  • that I did years ago on this, so you could listen
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  • to that if you want to reference it.
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  • But, we think the Bible says spare the rod, spoil the child.
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  • The Bible does not say that.
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  • It makes it much stronger, and see, because we think,
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  • Oh, I wouldn't mind spoiling the child a little bit.
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  • It doesn't say if you spare the rod,
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  • you spoil the child.
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  • Here's what it actually says.
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  • Proverbs 13:24, He who spares his rod hates his son,
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  • but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
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  • So, let me give you three, just three thoughts
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  • about discipline that might help you
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  • if you're in this phase of life. One is be clear.
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  • Be clear in your communication.
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  • I remember one time I walked out in the backyard.
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  • James, my son, was throwing rocks in the swimming pool.
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  • I said to him, James, do not throw any rocks
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  • in the swimming pool.
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  • He looked at me, went over and grabbed
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  • his brother's bicycle, and threw it in the swimming pool.
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  • [Laughter]
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  • I didn't say, Don't throw bicycles in the pool.
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  • So, I had to be clear -- Don't throw anything in the pool.
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  • If you throw anything in the pool,
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  • including other people, I'm going to spank you.
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  • I had to be very clear with him, all right?
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  • So, one is be clear.
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  • The other thing is be convincing.
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  • Daddy is going to spank you.
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  • Let me tell you why Daddy is going to spank you --
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  • because Daddy loves you.
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  • Bad things happen to people who do bad things.
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  • That's what I would tell my children.
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  • I don't want bad things to happen to you,
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  • so I am training you now not to do bad things,
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  • because when you get older and you do bad things,
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  • you go to prison.
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  • Things happen to you, bad things happen
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  • to people who do bad things.
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  • The only reason I'm doing this is because I love you,
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  • and I'd be very convincing.
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  • Daddy will spank you if you hit your sister
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  • with that plastic bat.
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  • You stop swinging the plastic bat in the house,
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  • because you could hit your sister accidentally,
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  • like you have already done four times.
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  • So, Daddy will spank you.
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  • You will get a spanking if you do this.
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  • Be convincing.
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  • And the last thing is be compassionate.
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  • Never spank in anger.
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  • If you have to cool down some, cool down.
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  • Explain to them. Take them to another room.
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  • Never spank in public.
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  • Never, ever, ever, because shame
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  • is never a part of discipline with God.
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  • God never shames us.
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  • We shame ourselves, but God doesn't shame us.
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  • We humiliate ourselves, but God humbles us.
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  • So, I'm just letting you know, don't do it in public.
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  • Go somewhere else. Be compassionate.
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  • I would have fun with them afterwards.
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  • Every time after I would spank them, I would do
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  • something fun with them.
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  • It takes time for godly discipline,
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  • because I wanted them to know it was over.
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  • So, the first phase is training, all right?
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  • It refers to childhood.
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  • Second phase, here's number two: teaching.
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  • This refers to adolescence.
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  • From 13 to 19, we move from training to teaching.
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  • Ephesians 6:4, let's go back to that verse.
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  • And you, fathers, do not provoke your children
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  • to wrath, but bring them up in the training,
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  • we already talked about that, and admonition of the Lord.
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  • Let me tell you why I use the word teaching.
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  • That's what this word means.
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  • Admonition means instruction or teaching.
  • 00:10:17.090 --> 00:10:21.060
  • Bring them up in the teaching of the Lord.
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  • Deuteronomy 4:9, Teach them, them refers to statutes.
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  • Teach them to your children and your grandchildren.
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  • Deuteronomy 6:7, You shall teach them
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  • diligently to your children.
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  • So, think about this, all right?
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  • Adolescence refers to the transition of a child
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  • becoming an adult.
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  • We refer to it as teenage years, but it refers to that time.
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  • This is a time when we go to teaching.
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  • It begins at 12 or 13, somewhere around that age.
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  • You see it in Jewish culture as well.
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  • There becomes a time of teaching.
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  • We even see it in Jesus' life,
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  • and there's a really famous story about Jesus
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  • that I think we miss something very important.
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  • When Jesus was in the temple, remember?
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  • And there's a great part of it, and I'm not minimizing
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  • this part, but because of this part,
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  • I think we miss the other part.
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  • But, the teachers and the rabbis in the temple
  • 00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:24.290
  • were so impressed with His answers.
  • 00:11:25.020 --> 00:11:27.010
  • Now, that's a great thing, but I want you
  • 00:11:27.040 --> 00:11:29.100
  • to notice something that Jesus Himself did
  • 00:11:29.130 --> 00:11:32.030
  • as He's making a transition from childhood to adolescence.
  • 00:11:32.060 --> 00:11:36.200
  • Luke 2:42, And when He was twelve years old,
  • 00:11:36.230 --> 00:11:40.020
  • they went to Jerusalem according to the custom of the feast.
  • 00:11:40.050 --> 00:11:44.090
  • And then, Verse 46, Now so it was that after three days,
  • 00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:47.250
  • remember they left and then they came back
  • 00:11:47.280 --> 00:11:49.200
  • and found him, they found Him in the temple,
  • 00:11:49.230 --> 00:11:51.130
  • sitting in the midst of the teachers,
  • 00:11:51.160 --> 00:11:54.030
  • watch what Jesus was doing, both listening to them
  • 00:11:54.060 --> 00:11:58.220
  • and asking them questions.
  • 00:11:58.250 --> 00:12:03.010
  • Listening to them and asking them questions.
  • 00:12:03.040 --> 00:12:09.250
  • That's what Jesus was doing, Jesus Himself.
  • 00:12:09.280 --> 00:12:12.090
  • This is a time when teenagers are going
  • 00:12:12.120 --> 00:12:15.260
  • to begin to ask questions.
  • 00:12:15.290 --> 00:12:17.110
  • You need to understand something.
  • 00:12:17.140 --> 00:12:19.020
  • This is the time for you to help them transition
  • 00:12:19.050 --> 00:12:22.250
  • from being a child, and think about this.
  • 00:12:22.280 --> 00:12:24.230
  • How many times though do we say something like this,
  • 00:12:24.260 --> 00:12:27.060
  • or a teenager says something like this to us?
  • 00:12:27.090 --> 00:12:30.030
  • You're treating me like a child.
  • 00:12:30.060 --> 00:12:32.100
  • You ever hear that?
  • 00:12:32.130 --> 00:12:33.130
  • And of course, what's our response?
  • 00:12:33.160 --> 00:12:35.120
  • Well, you're acting like a child, and they probably are.
  • 00:12:35.150 --> 00:12:38.240
  • But, it's our responsibility to teach them
  • 00:12:38.270 --> 00:12:41.050
  • not to act like a child.
  • 00:12:41.080 --> 00:12:42.080
  • It's to begin to train them, to teach them.
  • 00:12:42.110 --> 00:12:46.190
  • Let me say it another way.
  • 00:12:46.220 --> 00:12:48.000
  • We tell a child what to think,
  • 00:12:48.030 --> 00:12:53.240
  • or we train a child what to think.
  • 00:12:53.270 --> 00:12:56.000
  • We teach, in adolescence, how to think.
  • 00:12:56.030 --> 00:13:01.260
  • Let me say that again.
  • 00:13:01.290 --> 00:13:03.070
  • We tell a child what to think.
  • 00:13:03.100 --> 00:13:05.210
  • We tell them.
  • 00:13:05.240 --> 00:13:06.260
  • This is what you're going to do.
  • 00:13:06.290 --> 00:13:09.150
  • We tell a child what to think, but we teach,
  • 00:13:09.180 --> 00:13:12.260
  • in adolescence, how to think.
  • 00:13:12.290 --> 00:13:15.170
  • So, you begin to move in this transitional time
  • 00:13:15.200 --> 00:13:18.060
  • where you begin to ask your teenagers questions.
  • 00:13:18.090 --> 00:13:20.220
  • What kind of criteria are you going to use?
  • 00:13:20.250 --> 00:13:25.170
  • This is what you would ask a teenager.
  • 00:13:25.200 --> 00:13:26.260
  • What kind of criteria are you going to use
  • 00:13:26.290 --> 00:13:30.040
  • when you choose your friends?
  • 00:13:30.070 --> 00:13:33.210
  • See, they start thinking then, What do they mean?
  • 00:13:33.240 --> 00:13:35.260
  • I've never thought before about that.
  • 00:13:35.290 --> 00:13:37.180
  • What type of study habits are you trying to develop now
  • 00:13:37.210 --> 00:13:42.060
  • that are going to help you later in life?
  • 00:13:42.090 --> 00:13:44.270
  • Here's a question I wish someone had asked me
  • 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:49.010
  • when I was a teenager.
  • 00:13:49.040 --> 00:13:51.000
  • Do you think the choices that you make now
  • 00:13:51.030 --> 00:13:54.140
  • will affect you as an adult?
  • 00:13:54.170 --> 00:13:57.240
  • I never thought that I would deal with some of the things
  • 00:13:57.270 --> 00:14:00.270
  • I've had to deal with as an adult
  • 00:14:01.000 --> 00:14:02.000
  • because of things I did as a teenager.
  • 00:14:02.030 --> 00:14:05.090
  • This is a time to ask questions.
  • 00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:06.180
  • When our children were making this transition
  • 00:14:06.210 --> 00:14:11.070
  • to adolescence, at the age of 13
  • 00:14:11.100 --> 00:14:15.160
  • we had a covenant ceremony with them.
  • 00:14:15.190 --> 00:14:18.140
  • I did it with the guys, Debbie did it with our daughter.
  • 00:14:18.170 --> 00:14:22.030
  • We would take them on an overnight trip.
  • 00:14:22.060 --> 00:14:24.160
  • We had a ring for them.
  • 00:14:24.190 --> 00:14:26.060
  • So, I did both our boys, Debbie did our daughter.
  • 00:14:26.090 --> 00:14:29.060
  • We made a covenant with them.
  • 00:14:29.090 --> 00:14:30.290
  • Now, part of the things that we talked about
  • 00:14:31.020 --> 00:14:32.150
  • in our covenant -- we talked about a lot of things,
  • 00:14:32.180 --> 00:14:33.260
  • but let me just use one as an example.
  • 00:14:33.290 --> 00:14:35.280
  • We talked about dating.
  • 00:14:36.010 --> 00:14:37.230
  • We went through the facts of life with them.
  • 00:14:37.260 --> 00:14:39.270
  • We did it when they were 10 and 13.
  • 00:14:40.000 --> 00:14:41.240
  • The reason we did it when they were 10
  • 00:14:41.270 --> 00:14:43.200
  • is because they were gonna hear things at school.
  • 00:14:43.230 --> 00:14:45.160
  • So, we went through the facts of life,
  • 00:14:45.190 --> 00:14:47.050
  • but at 13 was when we made the covenant.
  • 00:14:47.080 --> 00:14:49.090
  • And when we went through that, we said,
  • 00:14:49.120 --> 00:14:51.010
  • Now, here are some things you need to understand.
  • 00:14:51.040 --> 00:14:52.230
  • You're going to begin to start being attracted
  • 00:14:52.260 --> 00:14:54.220
  • to the opposite sex, and when that happens,
  • 00:14:54.250 --> 00:14:57.260
  • we want to tell you some things that's going
  • 00:14:57.290 --> 00:15:00.190
  • to happen in your body.
  • 00:15:00.220 --> 00:15:01.220
  • We're gonna tell you some things that will happen
  • 00:15:01.250 --> 00:15:02.280
  • in your emotions, and so we told them.
  • 00:15:03.010 --> 00:15:04.200
  • And then we said, We want to make a covenant with you.
  • 00:15:04.230 --> 00:15:07.230
  • You have a part and we have a part.
  • 00:15:07.260 --> 00:15:10.030
  • And we said, Your part is that you'll talk to us
  • 00:15:10.060 --> 00:15:12.210
  • and be open and honest with us when you're attracted
  • 00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:15.070
  • to someone, that you'll keep yourself pure,
  • 00:15:15.100 --> 00:15:18.250
  • that you won't cross these boundaries that God
  • 00:15:18.280 --> 00:15:21.040
  • has set in place for your protection before marriage.
  • 00:15:21.070 --> 00:15:25.010
  • We went through all of the things
  • 00:15:25.040 --> 00:15:26.040
  • of this is your part of the covenant.
  • 00:15:26.070 --> 00:15:27.180
  • Then I said, This is my part of the covenant.
  • 00:15:27.210 --> 00:15:30.260
  • My part of the covenant is that I commit myself to pray
  • 00:15:30.290 --> 00:15:33.200
  • with you about your spouse, and we explained to them why.
  • 00:15:33.230 --> 00:15:37.130
  • You have to tell teenagers why.
  • 00:15:37.160 --> 00:15:39.030
  • We said, Because we know you better than anyone else
  • 00:15:39.060 --> 00:15:42.050
  • in the world knows you. We know your personality.
  • 00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:45.080
  • We know your giftings.
  • 00:15:45.110 --> 00:15:47.030
  • So, we're gonna help you in this process.
  • 00:15:47.060 --> 00:15:49.010
  • But then, I wanted to kind of incentivize
  • 00:15:49.040 --> 00:15:54.130
  • my teenagers, you know?
  • 00:15:54.160 --> 00:15:56.260
  • And so, I said, And part of my covenant is...
  • 00:15:56.290 --> 00:16:00.290
  • you're gonna keep your part, but part of my covenant is
  • 00:16:01.020 --> 00:16:04.040
  • that I'm going to pay for any expenses with the wedding,
  • 00:16:04.070 --> 00:16:08.020
  • whether you're a boy or a girl, cause there are expenses
  • 00:16:08.050 --> 00:16:09.230
  • on both sides. I'm gonna pay.
  • 00:16:09.260 --> 00:16:12.170
  • Another thing I'm gonna do is I'm gonna pay
  • 00:16:12.200 --> 00:16:13.200
  • for your honeymoon.
  • 00:16:13.230 --> 00:16:15.180
  • I'm gonna pay for your college.
  • 00:16:15.210 --> 00:16:18.020
  • Whatever it is, I'll pay for all of it.
  • 00:16:18.050 --> 00:16:19.200
  • You'll have no student debt, no matter what.
  • 00:16:19.230 --> 00:16:21.120
  • I'll take on the student debt if I have to.
  • 00:16:21.150 --> 00:16:23.290
  • And then I said, And I'm going to help you buy
  • 00:16:24.020 --> 00:16:26.020
  • your first house.
  • 00:16:26.050 --> 00:16:28.080
  • Now, I look back on that now...
  • 00:16:28.110 --> 00:16:31.070
  • [Laughter]
  • 00:16:31.100 --> 00:16:35.020
  • And think, Thank God that people buy my books now,
  • 00:16:35.050 --> 00:16:38.290
  • because I wouldn't have been able to keep all
  • 00:16:39.020 --> 00:16:42.000
  • of these promises that I made,
  • 00:16:42.030 --> 00:16:43.160
  • and I don't know why I did that!
  • 00:16:43.190 --> 00:16:45.010
  • But, we've been able to help our children financially.
  • 00:16:45.040 --> 00:16:47.150
  • But, I remember with Josh, my oldest son,
  • 00:16:47.180 --> 00:16:50.020
  • when he was 13 I wanted to teach him something
  • 00:16:50.050 --> 00:16:53.020
  • about God's grace during this time.
  • 00:16:53.050 --> 00:16:56.010
  • And so, I went through this and I said,
  • 00:16:56.040 --> 00:16:57.140
  • Now, we're making a covenant.
  • 00:16:57.170 --> 00:16:58.180
  • You have a part and I have a part.
  • 00:16:58.210 --> 00:17:00.180
  • And I said to him, And my part is very big, too.
  • 00:17:00.210 --> 00:17:04.240
  • It's a big financial commitment on my part.
  • 00:17:04.270 --> 00:17:07.150
  • I said, But what's going to happen
  • 00:17:07.180 --> 00:17:10.170
  • if you don't do your part?
  • 00:17:10.200 --> 00:17:13.270
  • And I was expecting him to say,
  • 00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:15.220
  • Well, then you won't do your part.
  • 00:17:15.250 --> 00:17:18.010
  • Well, my 13 year old son surprised me.
  • 00:17:18.040 --> 00:17:20.000
  • He sat there for a moment and he said,
  • 00:17:20.030 --> 00:17:23.260
  • You'll probably still do your part.
  • 00:17:23.290 --> 00:17:27.050
  • And I remember thinking, You stole my thunder!
  • 00:17:27.080 --> 00:17:30.030
  • [Laughter]
  • 00:17:30.060 --> 00:17:31.120
  • You stole my teaching moment, you know?
  • 00:17:31.150 --> 00:17:34.210
  • And I said, Well, if you don't do your part,
  • 00:17:34.240 --> 00:17:37.070
  • why do you think that I'll do my part?
  • 00:17:37.100 --> 00:17:40.140
  • And he said, Because you've taught me
  • 00:17:40.170 --> 00:17:43.220
  • that even when we do things wrong, God still loves us.
  • 00:17:43.250 --> 00:17:50.120
  • And I think you're like God, Daddy,
  • 00:17:50.150 --> 00:17:54.280
  • and I think you're gonna love me anyway.
  • 00:17:55.010 --> 00:17:56.210
  • [Applause]
  • 00:17:56.240 --> 00:17:58.270
  • This is what we do.
  • 00:17:59.000 --> 00:18:00.190
  • This is a time of life we take our young people
  • 00:18:00.220 --> 00:18:03.140
  • through from childhood to adulthood,
  • 00:18:03.170 --> 00:18:05.260
  • and it's very important.
  • 00:18:05.290 --> 00:18:07.080
  • And then the last, adulthood, I'm using the word trusting.
  • 00:18:07.110 --> 00:18:12.120
  • Trusting, so hopefully we can remember
  • 00:18:12.150 --> 00:18:14.000
  • these three words: training, teaching, trusting.
  • 00:18:14.030 --> 00:18:18.030
  • Let me say it another way. Children are trained.
  • 00:18:18.060 --> 00:18:22.220
  • Teenagers are taught. Adults are trusted.
  • 00:18:22.250 --> 00:18:28.050
  • Adulthood, again in the Bible, starts at 20 years old.
  • 00:18:28.080 --> 00:18:31.030
  • I don't have time to give you all of the Scriptures,
  • 00:18:31.060 --> 00:18:34.050
  • but I'll give you just a few references
  • 00:18:34.080 --> 00:18:35.280
  • that you can look at later, all right?
  • 00:18:36.010 --> 00:18:38.010
  • Exodus 30:14 says at 20, they would begin to give offerings.
  • 00:18:38.040 --> 00:18:44.120
  • Now, I think it's good to teach our children
  • 00:18:44.150 --> 00:18:45.200
  • to give offerings, but this was actually referring
  • 00:18:45.230 --> 00:18:48.110
  • to a temple tax.
  • 00:18:48.140 --> 00:18:50.020
  • They were required to start paying this when they turned 20.
  • 00:18:50.050 --> 00:18:54.040
  • God saw them as adults.
  • 00:18:54.070 --> 00:18:55.280
  • Numbers 1:3, at 20, they had to go to war.
  • 00:18:56.010 --> 00:19:00.020
  • They didn't have to go to war until they were 20 years old.
  • 00:19:00.050 --> 00:19:02.180
  • God saw them as adults.
  • 00:19:02.210 --> 00:19:04.100
  • Numbers 14:29-32 -- at 20, they were held responsible
  • 00:19:04.130 --> 00:19:10.190
  • for their sin, at 20. This is how He said it.
  • 00:19:10.220 --> 00:19:15.220
  • He said, Your little ones, who have no knowledge
  • 00:19:15.250 --> 00:19:17.090
  • of good and evil, will still go into the Promised Land.
  • 00:19:17.120 --> 00:19:21.040
  • But everyone 20 years old and up,
  • 00:19:21.070 --> 00:19:24.120
  • other than Joshua and Caleb, will die in the wilderness.
  • 00:19:24.150 --> 00:19:27.290
  • So, God sets an age at 20.
  • 00:19:28.020 --> 00:19:30.040
  • Now, one of the things that many of us have done
  • 00:19:30.070 --> 00:19:32.250
  • is kind of said, and I've even heard people
  • 00:19:32.280 --> 00:19:36.100
  • say this: Well, once they're married, they're adults.
  • 00:19:36.130 --> 00:19:39.060
  • No, that's not true.
  • 00:19:39.090 --> 00:19:40.240
  • They're adults when they turn 20.
  • 00:19:40.270 --> 00:19:42.220
  • So, one of the Scriptures that people will use is,
  • 00:19:42.250 --> 00:19:45.230
  • Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother
  • 00:19:45.260 --> 00:19:47.240
  • and cleave to his wife.
  • 00:19:47.270 --> 00:19:48.280
  • In other words, they're under my authority
  • 00:19:49.010 --> 00:19:50.140
  • until they get married.
  • 00:19:50.170 --> 00:19:52.030
  • No, take the Scripture for what it says.
  • 00:19:52.060 --> 00:19:54.120
  • Listen to what it says.
  • 00:19:54.150 --> 00:19:55.220
  • Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother.
  • 00:19:55.250 --> 00:20:03.010
  • It doesn't say a boy. He's already a man.
  • 00:20:03.040 --> 00:20:06.220
  • And think about this.
  • 00:20:06.250 --> 00:20:08.160
  • What if they never get married?
  • 00:20:08.190 --> 00:20:10.140
  • Some people are not called to marriage.
  • 00:20:10.170 --> 00:20:12.020
  • Some are called to celibacy, that Jesus even talked
  • 00:20:12.050 --> 00:20:14.010
  • about that Himself.
  • 00:20:14.040 --> 00:20:15.010
  • So, what if they never get married?
  • 00:20:15.040 --> 00:20:16.070
  • Are they gonna have to, you know, when they're 65,
  • 00:20:16.100 --> 00:20:18.090
  • they're gonna have to ask your permission
  • 00:20:18.120 --> 00:20:19.150
  • to retire, you know?
  • 00:20:19.180 --> 00:20:20.290
  • So, they're grown and they need to be treated as adults.
  • 00:20:21.020 --> 00:20:26.270
  • This is the reason that I made this message
  • 00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:28.130
  • Blessed Sons and Daughters, not Blessed Children.
  • 00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:31.260
  • I am calling them adult sons and daughters,
  • 00:20:31.290 --> 00:20:35.220
  • and I don't even like the term adult children.
  • 00:20:35.250 --> 00:20:39.060
  • It's an oxymoron. Think about it.
  • 00:20:39.090 --> 00:20:42.170
  • If they're adults, then they're not children.
  • 00:20:42.200 --> 00:20:46.070
  • And we have all of these problems because people
  • 00:20:46.100 --> 00:20:48.090
  • don't understand, and I really think parents
  • 00:20:48.120 --> 00:20:50.070
  • get in the way sometimes when God's trying
  • 00:20:50.100 --> 00:20:53.230
  • to do something in an adult's life.
  • 00:20:53.260 --> 00:20:57.090
  • They're adults now.
  • 00:20:57.120 --> 00:20:58.290
  • Our parenting role is over. Parent, the word parent,
  • 00:20:59.020 --> 00:21:03.270
  • can be a noun and it can be a verb.
  • 00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:07.020
  • In other words, yes, I am a parent,
  • 00:21:07.050 --> 00:21:10.290
  • but I do not parent anymore, because I don't have
  • 00:21:11.020 --> 00:21:16.020
  • children anymore, I have adult sons and daughters.
  • 00:21:16.050 --> 00:21:19.270
  • Are you all following this? Okay.
  • 00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:22.140
  • And I've got to see them as that way.
  • 00:21:22.170 --> 00:21:23.250
  • Let me tell you another thing.
  • 00:21:23.280 --> 00:21:24.260
  • You might not have ever thought about this.
  • 00:21:24.290 --> 00:21:27.060
  • My sons and daughters, this might blow you away.
  • 00:21:27.090 --> 00:21:34.230
  • My sons and daughters are now my brothers and sisters in Christ.
  • 00:21:34.260 --> 00:21:44.150
  • In Christ, there is no male nor female.
  • 00:21:44.180 --> 00:21:49.120
  • In Christ, they're my -- listen, this is why
  • 00:21:49.150 --> 00:21:52.040
  • I say sons and daughters.
  • 00:21:52.070 --> 00:21:53.200
  • Yes, I have sons and daughters.
  • 00:21:53.230 --> 00:21:55.280
  • They all have children of their own.
  • 00:21:56.010 --> 00:21:58.200
  • They're parents now.
  • 00:21:58.230 --> 00:22:00.070
  • Yes, they're my sons and daughters,
  • 00:22:00.100 --> 00:22:02.240
  • but they're mothers and fathers.
  • 00:22:02.270 --> 00:22:05.050
  • So, they're not my kids anymore,
  • 00:22:05.080 --> 00:22:07.190
  • they're my brothers and sisters in Christ.
  • 00:22:07.220 --> 00:22:09.110
  • That means that they can come to me for advice,
  • 00:22:09.140 --> 00:22:11.190
  • but what they're actually doing is they're coming
  • 00:22:11.220 --> 00:22:13.100
  • to a brother in Christ!
  • 00:22:13.130 --> 00:22:16.270
  • Do you realize that some sons and daughters,
  • 00:22:17.000 --> 00:22:19.030
  • some grown sons and daughters, won't go to their parents
  • 00:22:19.060 --> 00:22:21.110
  • anymore for advice? There are two reasons why.
  • 00:22:21.140 --> 00:22:24.020
  • One is, sometimes parents try to control.
  • 00:22:24.050 --> 00:22:27.220
  • It's one is, parents... let me say it this way.
  • 00:22:27.250 --> 00:22:29.180
  • Parents think, if they don't take my advice,
  • 00:22:29.210 --> 00:22:33.000
  • that's dishonoring me. That's not honoring me.
  • 00:22:33.030 --> 00:22:35.190
  • You know, You asked us if you should make this move,
  • 00:22:35.220 --> 00:22:38.250
  • and we said no, but you did it anyway, and the Bible says
  • 00:22:38.280 --> 00:22:41.250
  • you're to honor your mother and father.
  • 00:22:41.280 --> 00:22:43.110
  • Let me just talk to some of you about that right there.
  • 00:22:43.140 --> 00:22:46.000
  • Let me tell you what that actually is.
  • 00:22:46.030 --> 00:22:47.250
  • That's spiritual abuse.
  • 00:22:47.280 --> 00:22:50.020
  • When you quote Scripture to get your way, that's wrong.
  • 00:22:50.050 --> 00:22:54.120
  • You don't have any more authority in that person's life.
  • 00:22:54.150 --> 00:22:57.130
  • That person's a grown-up. That person's an adult.
  • 00:22:57.160 --> 00:23:00.070
  • So, sometimes grown sons and daughters,
  • 00:23:00.100 --> 00:23:04.020
  • adult sons and daughters, won't go to their parents for counsel,
  • 00:23:04.050 --> 00:23:07.010
  • but then sometimes it's the other way around, too.
  • 00:23:07.040 --> 00:23:09.030
  • Sometimes there is a dishonoring,
  • 00:23:09.060 --> 00:23:10.280
  • because you ought to honor them and ask for their counsel.
  • 00:23:11.010 --> 00:23:14.080
  • Honor your mother and father
  • 00:23:14.110 --> 00:23:15.260
  • It doesn't mean you have to do it.
  • 00:23:15.290 --> 00:23:17.120
  • Because you're an adult, you have to hear God.
  • 00:23:17.150 --> 00:23:19.080
  • I've known adult sons and daughters
  • 00:23:19.110 --> 00:23:22.010
  • that have just announced, made an announcement --
  • 00:23:22.040 --> 00:23:25.240
  • We've decided we're moving, or I've decided to quit my job,
  • 00:23:25.270 --> 00:23:29.110
  • and they never even asked them.
  • 00:23:29.140 --> 00:23:30.200
  • That is dishonoring.
  • 00:23:30.230 --> 00:23:32.080
  • That is dishonoring, and here's the reason
  • 00:23:32.110 --> 00:23:34.030
  • that they do it many times, is because they haven't made
  • 00:23:34.060 --> 00:23:36.190
  • the transition from adolescence or childhood to adulthood yet,
  • 00:23:36.220 --> 00:23:41.100
  • and they don't have the courage to say, you know,
  • 00:23:41.130 --> 00:23:44.220
  • Would you pray with us about this,
  • 00:23:44.250 --> 00:23:46.290
  • because they fear the parents might say,
  • 00:23:47.020 --> 00:23:48.250
  • Well, we would rather you not do this.
  • 00:23:48.280 --> 00:23:50.200
  • They don't have the courage then to say,
  • 00:23:50.230 --> 00:23:52.110
  • Well, thank you, we'll go back and pray again.
  • 00:23:52.140 --> 00:23:54.190
  • But then, they might have to come back and say,
  • 00:23:54.220 --> 00:23:56.290
  • Now that we've prayed about it, we appreciate your counsel,
  • 00:23:57.020 --> 00:23:59.130
  • but we know for sure this is what God has spoken to us.
  • 00:23:59.160 --> 00:24:03.050
  • Are you all following me?
  • 00:24:03.080 --> 00:24:04.180
  • This would solve about 99% of family marriage counseling
  • 00:24:04.210 --> 00:24:10.280
  • right here, if we would allow
  • 00:24:11.010 --> 00:24:13.220
  • adult sons and daughters to just simply grow up
  • 00:24:13.250 --> 00:24:17.250
  • and treat them as brothers and sisters.
  • 00:24:17.280 --> 00:24:19.280
  • ROBERT: You know, one of the greatest blessings
  • 00:24:20.170 --> 00:24:21.290
  • that I have is to see my three children grown, married,
  • 00:24:22.020 --> 00:24:26.180
  • and serving God, but you've probably heard me talk about it
  • 00:24:26.210 --> 00:24:29.180
  • before that there was a time when my daughter
  • 00:24:29.210 --> 00:24:32.040
  • walked away from the Lord.
  • 00:24:32.070 --> 00:24:33.190
  • It was one of the most difficult times of our lives,
  • 00:24:33.220 --> 00:24:36.060
  • but God was so faithful in her life,
  • 00:24:36.090 --> 00:24:39.160
  • and now she's serving God full-time.
  • 00:24:39.190 --> 00:24:41.170
  • I just have a real burden on my heart to pray for you.
  • 00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:45.040
  • If you've got a child that's away from God or not serving God
  • 00:24:45.070 --> 00:24:48.130
  • with all of his heart or all of her heart,
  • 00:24:48.160 --> 00:24:50.120
  • I believe that God can touch that child's heart.
  • 00:24:50.150 --> 00:24:53.250
  • I'm talking about a small child, teenager,
  • 00:24:53.280 --> 00:24:56.250
  • or even a grown child -- a grown son or a grown daughter.
  • 00:24:56.280 --> 00:24:59.290
  • God wants to bring that child back and I want to agree
  • 00:25:00.040 --> 00:25:03.050
  • with you today that God does a work
  • 00:25:03.080 --> 00:25:05.200
  • and that we can see our children loving and serving God,
  • 00:25:05.230 --> 00:25:09.110
  • as the Bible says, to a thousand generations.
  • 00:25:09.140 --> 00:25:13.110
  • God really does want to bless our families.
  • 00:25:13.140 --> 00:25:16.030
  • I'm so grateful that you watch.
  • 00:25:16.060 --> 00:25:18.020
  • I'm going to continue this series next week.
  • 00:25:18.050 --> 00:25:20.180
  • Every family is different with their own personalities
  • 00:25:21.030 --> 00:25:24.260
  • and struggles and destinies, but what's the secret
  • 00:25:24.290 --> 00:25:28.060
  • to having a truly happy home life?
  • 00:25:28.090 --> 00:25:30.280
  • In the five-part series, Blessed Families,
  • 00:25:31.010 --> 00:25:33.040
  • Pastor Robert talks about God's design of how to live
  • 00:25:33.070 --> 00:25:35.290
  • in His blessing for your family.
  • 00:25:36.020 --> 00:25:38.060
  • You will learn how to live in a blessed family,
  • 00:25:38.090 --> 00:25:40.080
  • and how to experience all that God has planned
  • 00:25:40.110 --> 00:25:42.270
  • for your marriage and your children.
  • 00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:44.220
  • You'll also discover the life transforming benefits
  • 00:25:44.250 --> 00:25:47.160
  • of being adopted into a new spiritual family
  • 00:25:47.190 --> 00:25:50.130
  • through what Jesus has done for you.
  • 00:25:50.160 --> 00:25:52.290
  • For your gift any amount we want to send you this series
  • 00:25:53.020 --> 00:25:56.000
  • on either CD or as a digital download.
  • 00:25:56.030 --> 00:25:58.240
  • For your gift of $35 or more we will send you the CD series
  • 00:25:58.270 --> 00:26:02.060
  • and the book The Blessed Marriage
  • 00:26:02.090 --> 00:26:04.150
  • by Pastor Robert and Debbie Morris.
  • 00:26:04.180 --> 00:26:06.130
  • In this book, Pastor Robert and Debbie share principles
  • 00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:09.020
  • that they have learned and lived in order to build
  • 00:26:09.050 --> 00:26:11.150
  • a healthy marriage that is centered on God's Word.
  • 00:26:11.180 --> 00:26:14.170
  • And as our way of saying thank you for your gift $75 or more,
  • 00:26:14.200 --> 00:26:18.130
  • we will send you The Blessed Family series
  • 00:26:18.160 --> 00:26:20.150
  • on both CD and DVD, The Blessed Marriage book,
  • 00:26:20.180 --> 00:26:23.150
  • and a custom tote bag.
  • 00:26:23.180 --> 00:26:25.160
  • This canvassed-zippered tote will be a great addition
  • 00:26:25.190 --> 00:26:27.280
  • to take along on your next family outing or vacation.
  • 00:26:28.010 --> 00:26:31.230
  • This series is also available online
  • 00:26:31.260 --> 00:26:33.170
  • in audio and video digital downloads.
  • 00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:36.030
  • Be sure to call or visit us online today
  • 00:26:36.060 --> 00:26:38.140
  • at PastorRobert.com to order these resources
  • 00:26:38.170 --> 00:26:41.080
  • and start applying the principles from God's Word
  • 00:26:41.110 --> 00:26:43.210
  • for a more united and blessed home.
  • 00:26:43.240 --> 00:26:46.100
  • As always, thank you for your generous support
  • 00:26:46.130 --> 00:26:48.260
  • of this ministry.
  • 00:26:48.290 --> 00:26:50.150
  • 00:26:50.180 --> 00:26:59.200
  • ANNOUNCER: Living your best life isn't about having a dream home,
  • 00:27:01.180 --> 00:27:04.200
  • wonderful kids, or the ideal job.
  • 00:27:04.230 --> 00:27:07.200
  • It's about changes in your family, health,
  • 00:27:07.230 --> 00:27:10.170
  • and relationships.
  • 00:27:10.200 --> 00:27:12.040
  • When God changes your heart, you'll discover
  • 00:27:12.070 --> 00:27:14.120
  • that there is so much more to life.
  • 00:27:14.150 --> 00:27:17.190
  • With humor, passion, and clarity,
  • 00:27:17.220 --> 00:27:20.040
  • Pastor Robert presents,
  • 00:27:20.070 --> 00:27:21.200
  • "The Secrets of Living Your Best Life."
  • 00:27:21.230 --> 00:27:24.010
  • 00:27:24.040 --> 00:27:28.210