Taking Marriage to the Next Level | TBN

Taking Marriage to the Next Level

Watch Taking Marriage to the Next Level
January 4, 2017
28:29

Living by Faith with Mike & DeeDee Freeman

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Taking Marriage to the Next Level

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  • - For us,
  • 00:00:00.100 --> 00:00:01.130
  • and one of our major was finances.
  • 00:00:01.130 --> 00:00:03.020
  • - [George and Bishop] Right.
  • 00:00:03.020 --> 00:00:03.290
  • - For us it was finances,
  • 00:00:03.290 --> 00:00:05.050
  • because he wanted to manage the finances,
  • 00:00:05.050 --> 00:00:07.060
  • and I mean were good now--
  • 00:00:07.060 --> 00:00:08.100
  • - Which was absolutely
  • 00:00:08.100 --> 00:00:09.240
  • stupid.
  • 00:00:10.120 --> 00:00:11.110
  • - Now he can say that.
  • 00:00:12.070 --> 00:00:13.070
  • - I can say it now.
  • 00:00:13.070 --> 00:00:14.090
  • - But--
  • 00:00:14.090 --> 00:00:15.070
  • - Hindsight is 20/20.
  • 00:00:15.070 --> 00:00:16.130
  • - But when we were in the process of,
  • 00:00:16.130 --> 00:00:17.170
  • - Right.
  • 00:00:17.170 --> 00:00:18.220
  • - Trying to put two quarters together.
  • 00:00:18.220 --> 00:00:20.000
  • - I was tryin' to be the man.
  • 00:00:20.000 --> 00:00:21.050
  • - Yeah, and the car people callin' me,
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  • bill collectors callin' me,
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  • and its frustrating.
  • 00:00:24.070 --> 00:00:25.140
  • - [Bishop] Yeah.
  • 00:00:25.140 --> 00:00:25.270
  • Not to mention the fact that
  • 00:00:27.140 --> 00:00:29.000
  • when I was chasing her, she worked at the bank!
  • 00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:33.260
  • (everyone laughing)
  • 00:00:33.260 --> 00:00:35.260
  • She could count!
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  • you understand,
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  • but there's some young people,
  • 00:01:20.270 --> 00:01:22.020
  • and they're some older people in here,
  • 00:01:22.020 --> 00:01:23.250
  • that are having those kinds of challenges
  • 00:01:23.250 --> 00:01:25.240
  • where they're not being heard,
  • 00:01:25.240 --> 00:01:28.240
  • and they wanna be heard.
  • 00:01:28.240 --> 00:01:30.060
  • - [Michael] Wow.
  • 00:01:30.060 --> 00:01:31.040
  • - So, how do you get past
  • 00:01:31.040 --> 00:01:32.280
  • that?
  • 00:01:33.290 --> 00:01:35.050
  • You know, because most of the people
  • 00:01:35.130 --> 00:01:36.240
  • have heard our story,
  • 00:01:36.240 --> 00:01:38.190
  • we share this kind of stuff all the time,
  • 00:01:39.020 --> 00:01:41.040
  • but now to have somebody else
  • 00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:43.060
  • to come in a different voice, - [Michael] Different voices,
  • 00:01:43.060 --> 00:01:44.160
  • different view, input. - [Dee Dee] A different
  • 00:01:44.160 --> 00:01:46.070
  • perception.
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  • - Yeah anointing.
  • 00:01:47.000 --> 00:01:47.280
  • - I think that goes along with,
  • 00:01:47.280 --> 00:01:49.290
  • when we talk about the counseling.
  • 00:01:49.290 --> 00:01:51.280
  • Because you gotta get back to
  • 00:01:51.280 --> 00:01:53.290
  • what happened when you were young.
  • 00:01:53.290 --> 00:01:56.120
  • Because what a man sees in his household,
  • 00:01:56.210 --> 00:01:59.190
  • again this goes to learned behaviors.
  • 00:01:59.190 --> 00:02:01.160
  • And so, my husband came from a household
  • 00:02:01.160 --> 00:02:03.190
  • where his father always was in control of everything,
  • 00:02:03.190 --> 00:02:07.150
  • and his mother didn't have a say in it.
  • 00:02:07.230 --> 00:02:09.140
  • So, he brought that into the marriage.
  • 00:02:09.140 --> 00:02:11.200
  • I cam from a household where my mom,
  • 00:02:11.200 --> 00:02:14.080
  • my dad,
  • 00:02:14.080 --> 00:02:15.160
  • he didn't have maybe a fifth grade education,
  • 00:02:15.160 --> 00:02:17.240
  • so mommy managed the money,
  • 00:02:17.240 --> 00:02:19.140
  • she did a lot of those things.
  • 00:02:19.140 --> 00:02:20.190
  • So, when I came into the marriage,
  • 00:02:20.190 --> 00:02:21.260
  • I'm thinking like, "Okay, you know,
  • 00:02:21.260 --> 00:02:23.060
  • Imma run the money, ooh I got this."
  • 00:02:23.060 --> 00:02:24.200
  • And he's lookin' at me, "No you don't," so (laughing).
  • 00:02:24.200 --> 00:02:27.210
  • - I ain't say it like that, be me.
  • 00:02:29.050 --> 00:02:31.210
  • (everyone laughing)
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  • - I'm from Newark, I'm from Newark praise God.
  • 00:02:33.220 --> 00:02:35.090
  • (laughing) So,
  • 00:02:35.090 --> 00:02:36.220
  • it was a clash.
  • 00:02:36.220 --> 00:02:39.130
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:02:39.130 --> 00:02:40.170
  • - It was like, what in the world,
  • 00:02:40.170 --> 00:02:41.180
  • what happened to all this love,
  • 00:02:41.180 --> 00:02:43.010
  • we just want to spend the rest of our lives together?
  • 00:02:43.010 --> 00:02:44.260
  • So, we had to really sit down,
  • 00:02:44.260 --> 00:02:47.040
  • and start talking about some hard facts,
  • 00:02:47.040 --> 00:02:49.270
  • and then it took time.
  • 00:02:50.170 --> 00:02:51.250
  • Let me just say, all of this stuff
  • 00:02:52.060 --> 00:02:53.050
  • that we're talkin' about,
  • 00:02:53.050 --> 00:02:53.250
  • it takes time.
  • 00:02:53.250 --> 00:02:54.270
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:02:54.270 --> 00:02:55.160
  • - For us,
  • 00:02:55.260 --> 00:02:56.290
  • and one of our major was finances.
  • 00:02:56.290 --> 00:02:58.180
  • - [George and Bishop] Right.
  • 00:02:58.180 --> 00:02:59.150
  • - For us it was finances,
  • 00:02:59.150 --> 00:03:00.230
  • because he wanted to manage the finances,
  • 00:03:00.230 --> 00:03:02.240
  • and I mean were good now--
  • 00:03:02.240 --> 00:03:03.280
  • - Which was absolutely
  • 00:03:03.280 --> 00:03:05.120
  • stupid.
  • 00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:06.290
  • - Now he can say that.
  • 00:03:07.250 --> 00:03:08.250
  • - I can say it now.
  • 00:03:08.250 --> 00:03:09.270
  • - But--
  • 00:03:09.270 --> 00:03:10.250
  • - Hindsight is 20/20.
  • 00:03:10.250 --> 00:03:12.010
  • - But when we were in the process of,
  • 00:03:12.010 --> 00:03:13.050
  • - Right.
  • 00:03:13.050 --> 00:03:14.100
  • - Trying to put two quarters together.
  • 00:03:14.100 --> 00:03:15.180
  • - I was tryin' to be the man.
  • 00:03:15.180 --> 00:03:16.230
  • - Yeah, and the car people callin' me,
  • 00:03:16.230 --> 00:03:18.150
  • bill collectors callin' me,
  • 00:03:18.150 --> 00:03:19.250
  • and its frustrating.
  • 00:03:19.250 --> 00:03:21.020
  • - [Bishop] Yeah.
  • 00:03:21.020 --> 00:03:21.250
  • - It was, it was...
  • 00:03:21.250 --> 00:03:22.240
  • I wanted to cuss 'em out.
  • 00:03:22.240 --> 00:03:25.160
  • - [Bishop] Yeah.
  • 00:03:26.190 --> 00:03:27.260
  • - Callin' just because forgot to pay the bill.
  • 00:03:27.260 --> 00:03:30.160
  • (everyone laughing)
  • 00:03:30.160 --> 00:03:32.280
  • What the devil's wrong with yall?
  • 00:03:32.280 --> 00:03:34.150
  • Tryin' to mess up my marriage.
  • 00:03:35.020 --> 00:03:36.230
  • After so many calls,
  • 00:03:38.220 --> 00:03:40.120
  • after so many times,
  • 00:03:40.120 --> 00:03:42.000
  • and really wanted to do right,
  • 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:44.010
  • but I just...
  • 00:03:44.270 --> 00:03:46.030
  • I don't know want was wrong with me.
  • 00:03:46.030 --> 00:03:47.090
  • - That's a strong hold, it's a strong hold.
  • 00:03:48.130 --> 00:03:50.030
  • - Ain't like I couldn't count,
  • 00:03:50.030 --> 00:03:51.120
  • but I just couldn't pay them.
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  • I wouldn't pay them on time.
  • 00:03:52.250 --> 00:03:54.120
  • Not to mention the fact that
  • 00:03:55.290 --> 00:03:57.150
  • when I was chasing her, she worked at the bank!
  • 00:03:57.150 --> 00:04:02.130
  • (everyone laughing)
  • 00:04:02.130 --> 00:04:04.130
  • She could count!
  • 00:04:04.130 --> 00:04:05.290
  • And she can count faster than me,
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  • and better than me.
  • 00:04:09.180 --> 00:04:10.290
  • So, after so many phone calls,
  • 00:04:10.290 --> 00:04:12.230
  • after so many embarrassing moments.
  • 00:04:12.230 --> 00:04:15.200
  • - [Michael] Wow.
  • 00:04:17.130 --> 00:04:18.040
  • - [Bishop] Yeah.
  • 00:04:18.040 --> 00:04:18.230
  • - For me.
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  • We had to come to the conclusion.
  • 00:04:20.130 --> 00:04:22.270
  • "You bring the bacon home,
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  • give it to the woman to cook it."
  • 00:04:26.010 --> 00:04:28.020
  • - [Bishop] Yeah, that's right.
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  • Who ever's the best.
  • 00:04:29.260 --> 00:04:30.240
  • - [Michael] Who ever's the best?
  • 00:04:30.240 --> 00:04:32.100
  • - [George] I had to give up... - [Bishop] Who ever's the best
  • 00:04:32.100 --> 00:04:33.150
  • - That was my strength.
  • 00:04:33.150 --> 00:04:34.090
  • - That was her strength.
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  • - And when you're in the relationship,
  • 00:04:35.140 --> 00:04:36.080
  • you have to understand.
  • 00:04:36.080 --> 00:04:37.060
  • But back to what Dee Dee said,
  • 00:04:37.060 --> 00:04:38.010
  • some of are at,
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  • maybe you're fifth year of marriage,
  • 00:04:39.070 --> 00:04:40.290
  • you're still learning!
  • 00:04:40.290 --> 00:04:42.180
  • (panel agreeing)
  • 00:04:42.180 --> 00:04:43.230
  • I know we're talking out of all these
  • 00:04:43.230 --> 00:04:45.140
  • years of experience, and you're like,
  • 00:04:45.140 --> 00:04:46.180
  • "Am I gonna get there?"
  • 00:04:46.180 --> 00:04:47.190
  • Some of you are probably saying,
  • 00:04:47.190 --> 00:04:48.260
  • "I don't even know if I'm gonna make 15!"
  • 00:04:48.260 --> 00:04:50.140
  • (panel agreeing)
  • 00:04:50.140 --> 00:04:51.290
  • And in know you--
  • 00:04:51.290 --> 00:04:53.080
  • - [Michael] Make it five. (Mary laughing)
  • 00:04:53.080 --> 00:04:54.200
  • - You saved, sanctified, filled with the Holy Ghost,
  • 00:04:54.200 --> 00:04:55.230
  • endowed with a mighty burning fire,
  • 00:04:55.230 --> 00:04:56.170
  • and that's wonderful.
  • 00:04:56.170 --> 00:04:57.140
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:04:57.140 --> 00:04:58.110
  • - But you gotta sit down,
  • 00:04:58.110 --> 00:04:59.050
  • you gotta communicate,
  • 00:04:59.050 --> 00:04:59.250
  • you gotta talk,
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  • you gotta...
  • 00:05:00.160 --> 00:05:01.140
  • What has happened in your life.
  • 00:05:01.140 --> 00:05:02.050
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:05:02.050 --> 00:05:02.240
  • - You gotta,
  • 00:05:02.240 --> 00:05:03.210
  • why do I think like this?
  • 00:05:03.210 --> 00:05:04.140
  • What is going on,
  • 00:05:04.140 --> 00:05:05.200
  • and a lot of times in our marriages,
  • 00:05:05.200 --> 00:05:06.280
  • when I would say to my husband, "Let's talk."
  • 00:05:06.280 --> 00:05:08.090
  • He's be like, "Oh, Lord."
  • 00:05:08.090 --> 00:05:09.240
  • I mean, that's a thing that men sometimes do,
  • 00:05:10.040 --> 00:05:11.160
  • 'cause were communicators.
  • 00:05:11.160 --> 00:05:13.140
  • - [Bishop] Yeah.
  • 00:05:13.140 --> 00:05:14.110
  • - Women, we're gonna talk.
  • 00:05:14.110 --> 00:05:15.190
  • Men are, "Get right to it, what is it, okay,
  • 00:05:15.190 --> 00:05:18.020
  • yeah, we gonna be alright."
  • 00:05:18.020 --> 00:05:18.260
  • No we're not finished,
  • 00:05:18.260 --> 00:05:20.020
  • 'cause they just wanna have sex now
  • 00:05:20.020 --> 00:05:21.240
  • let's just go to bed, everything's good.
  • 00:05:21.240 --> 00:05:23.230
  • No, no, no--
  • 00:05:23.230 --> 00:05:24.210
  • - They want details, details.
  • 00:05:24.210 --> 00:05:26.130
  • I don't need no details.
  • 00:05:26.130 --> 00:05:27.170
  • - So, it's a process, it takes time,
  • 00:05:27.170 --> 00:05:29.240
  • and again, we wanna take you back to,
  • 00:05:29.240 --> 00:05:31.140
  • really get some help,
  • 00:05:31.140 --> 00:05:32.170
  • you need a mediator.
  • 00:05:32.170 --> 00:05:33.130
  • You need somebody there,
  • 00:05:33.130 --> 00:05:34.190
  • somebody again who has a strong marriage,
  • 00:05:34.190 --> 00:05:36.020
  • that can help guide you and mentor you
  • 00:05:36.020 --> 00:05:37.280
  • along this journey, because it's a journey,
  • 00:05:37.280 --> 00:05:40.170
  • and where you are now,
  • 00:05:40.170 --> 00:05:41.140
  • you won't be here forever.
  • 00:05:41.140 --> 00:05:42.140
  • - [Bishop] Right.
  • 00:05:42.140 --> 00:05:43.140
  • - And especially for those of you
  • 00:05:43.140 --> 00:05:44.120
  • that are raising small children,
  • 00:05:44.120 --> 00:05:45.150
  • that was a rough place.
  • 00:05:45.150 --> 00:05:47.140
  • - [Michael] But have you ever felt like
  • 00:05:47.140 --> 00:05:49.100
  • giving up, quitting, walking away from it all?
  • 00:05:49.100 --> 00:05:52.090
  • - [George] I almost--
  • 00:05:52.090 --> 00:05:53.070
  • - [Michael] And what did you do?
  • 00:05:53.070 --> 00:05:54.120
  • - I almost made it happen for us.
  • 00:05:54.120 --> 00:05:56.090
  • - [Michael] You almost made it happen?
  • 00:05:56.090 --> 00:05:57.190
  • - I know this is a tough story.
  • 00:05:57.190 --> 00:05:59.070
  • - Oh yeah.
  • 00:05:59.070 --> 00:06:00.150
  • - We don't like telling this story,
  • 00:06:00.150 --> 00:06:02.100
  • - It's okay.
  • 00:06:02.100 --> 00:06:03.150
  • - But we've been telling it lately.
  • 00:06:03.150 --> 00:06:04.200
  • - I think when my daughter was...
  • 00:06:04.200 --> 00:06:05.180
  • I had just had our first child.
  • 00:06:05.180 --> 00:06:06.260
  • - First child.
  • 00:06:06.260 --> 00:06:07.230
  • - And I was very attentive
  • 00:06:07.230 --> 00:06:10.060
  • as first parents, you just...
  • 00:06:10.060 --> 00:06:11.260
  • You're baby is everything, my whole world.
  • 00:06:11.260 --> 00:06:14.000
  • And so, he's going to work,
  • 00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:15.260
  • and a good friend of ours, she would ride to work with him.
  • 00:06:15.260 --> 00:06:18.160
  • - Right.
  • 00:06:18.160 --> 00:06:19.220
  • - To make this story really quick and short.
  • 00:06:19.220 --> 00:06:21.040
  • Long story short, she was going through divorce.
  • 00:06:21.040 --> 00:06:22.170
  • - Right.
  • 00:06:22.170 --> 00:06:23.150
  • - So, she is consoling in him.
  • 00:06:23.150 --> 00:06:25.070
  • - And we're riding together to work every day.
  • 00:06:25.070 --> 00:06:29.090
  • - Uh huh, yes.
  • 00:06:29.090 --> 00:06:30.150
  • - [Bishop] Daaa da da da
  • 00:06:31.090 --> 00:06:32.220
  • (audience vocalizing)
  • 00:06:32.220 --> 00:06:34.050
  • - You know what's getting ready to happen right?
  • 00:06:34.050 --> 00:06:35.180
  • And so, because I was so involved with my daughter,
  • 00:06:35.180 --> 00:06:37.240
  • I didn't pay attention to the signs,
  • 00:06:37.240 --> 00:06:39.060
  • I didn't pay attention to the needs that
  • 00:06:39.060 --> 00:06:41.060
  • he was having for me.
  • 00:06:41.060 --> 00:06:42.220
  • Because I'm like, "Oh my God, I gotta take care of the baby,
  • 00:06:42.220 --> 00:06:44.030
  • you know, that's how we do."
  • 00:06:44.030 --> 00:06:45.150
  • So, then one night...
  • 00:06:45.150 --> 00:06:46.160
  • - One night,
  • 00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:47.220
  • I must've been in church or something,
  • 00:06:47.220 --> 00:06:50.030
  • and felt like I needed to confess,
  • 00:06:50.030 --> 00:06:52.200
  • and I came to her, and I said,
  • 00:06:53.070 --> 00:06:57.070
  • "Babe, I think I'm having
  • 00:06:57.070 --> 00:06:59.260
  • some feelings for so and so."
  • 00:06:59.260 --> 00:07:03.140
  • - [Michael] You told her?
  • 00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:05.180
  • - I told her.
  • 00:07:05.180 --> 00:07:06.130
  • (everyone laughing)
  • 00:07:06.130 --> 00:07:10.120
  • Dude,
  • 00:07:11.070 --> 00:07:12.050
  • I ain't have no instructions,
  • 00:07:12.140 --> 00:07:15.070
  • didn't read the manual.
  • 00:07:15.070 --> 00:07:17.060
  • The fact that I was having feelings
  • 00:07:18.170 --> 00:07:20.210
  • for this woman was messing with me.
  • 00:07:20.210 --> 00:07:24.220
  • - [Bishop] But that was huge though.
  • 00:07:24.220 --> 00:07:26.060
  • That was huge.
  • 00:07:26.060 --> 00:07:27.070
  • - [George] What!
  • 00:07:27.070 --> 00:07:28.000
  • - [Michael] Huge!
  • 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:28.200
  • - That was huge.
  • 00:07:28.200 --> 00:07:29.140
  • - [George] Oh my God.
  • 00:07:29.140 --> 00:07:30.000
  • - Huge.
  • 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:30.240
  • - And I honored that,
  • 00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:31.290
  • even at the time when he told me yall,
  • 00:07:31.290 --> 00:07:33.120
  • I went ballistic.
  • 00:07:33.120 --> 00:07:34.060
  • - [George] Ballistic!
  • 00:07:34.060 --> 00:07:35.180
  • - You would've thought he told me
  • 00:07:35.180 --> 00:07:37.210
  • they had a romance, or sex and everything,
  • 00:07:37.210 --> 00:07:40.100
  • - Right, right.
  • 00:07:40.100 --> 00:07:41.080
  • - All I heard you have feelings,
  • 00:07:41.080 --> 00:07:42.070
  • and just had your baby, what?
  • 00:07:42.070 --> 00:07:44.200
  • - She was about to leave me,
  • 00:07:45.120 --> 00:07:49.010
  • she wanted to leave that night.
  • 00:07:49.010 --> 00:07:51.230
  • - I was ready, give me my stuff.
  • 00:07:51.230 --> 00:07:53.090
  • - Matter of fact,
  • 00:07:53.090 --> 00:07:54.150
  • she did't grab up a whole lot of stuff,
  • 00:07:54.150 --> 00:07:56.170
  • but she grabbed something,
  • 00:07:56.170 --> 00:07:57.190
  • and she went to the door to go,
  • 00:07:57.190 --> 00:08:01.130
  • and leave me
  • 00:08:01.130 --> 00:08:02.270
  • in the house with our baby.
  • 00:08:02.270 --> 00:08:06.100
  • - You left the baby too.
  • 00:08:06.100 --> 00:08:08.020
  • - [George] She was leaving me an the...
  • 00:08:08.020 --> 00:08:10.180
  • - I just blacked out for a minute.
  • 00:08:10.180 --> 00:08:11.260
  • I was like, "I need to get out the house."
  • 00:08:11.260 --> 00:08:13.240
  • - She said, "I need to get out..."
  • 00:08:13.240 --> 00:08:15.090
  • So she was going, getting ready to go out the door.
  • 00:08:15.090 --> 00:08:18.000
  • - I' crying and...
  • 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:19.040
  • - And she grabbed the door,
  • 00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:20.150
  • and I grabbed the door,
  • 00:08:20.150 --> 00:08:22.030
  • and she said, "Get off of me!"
  • 00:08:22.030 --> 00:08:25.070
  • And I said, "No!"
  • 00:08:26.140 --> 00:08:27.290
  • She said, (screaming inaudible words).
  • 00:08:28.150 --> 00:08:29.290
  • I said, "No!"
  • 00:08:29.290 --> 00:08:30.260
  • And she went down,
  • 00:08:30.260 --> 00:08:32.040
  • I said, "No!"
  • 00:08:32.040 --> 00:08:33.140
  • And we was down on the floor.
  • 00:08:33.140 --> 00:08:35.100
  • She was holding onto the door knob,
  • 00:08:35.100 --> 00:08:37.170
  • I was holdin' on to her...
  • 00:08:37.170 --> 00:08:39.000
  • (everyone laughing)
  • 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:41.190
  • - [Michael] This is real.
  • 00:08:41.190 --> 00:08:42.170
  • - [George] No, this is real Doc.
  • 00:08:42.170 --> 00:08:43.290
  • - This is like umm--
  • 00:08:43.290 --> 00:08:45.060
  • - I said, "No baby you can't go, I'm sorry,
  • 00:08:45.060 --> 00:08:46.190
  • you can't go, I cannot let you go."
  • 00:08:46.190 --> 00:08:47.260
  • - This is the third year of our marriage,
  • 00:08:47.260 --> 00:08:49.240
  • third year of our marriage, third year.
  • 00:08:49.240 --> 00:08:51.230
  • - Third year,
  • 00:08:51.230 --> 00:08:52.140
  • third year Doc.
  • 00:08:52.200 --> 00:08:53.190
  • I said, "No, I can't let you go,
  • 00:08:53.190 --> 00:08:54.270
  • I know I'm stupid, I know whatever,
  • 00:08:54.270 --> 00:08:56.170
  • but I cannot let you leave this house."
  • 00:08:56.170 --> 00:08:59.000
  • I don't know what it was,
  • 00:08:59.000 --> 00:08:59.280
  • but I'll never forget
  • 00:08:59.280 --> 00:09:02.130
  • I got a picture of her getting in a car,
  • 00:09:02.130 --> 00:09:05.110
  • and having an accident, and that would be the end of it.
  • 00:09:05.110 --> 00:09:07.260
  • And all of that ran through my head at that moment,
  • 00:09:08.130 --> 00:09:11.050
  • and I said, "I cannot let you go outta this house."
  • 00:09:11.050 --> 00:09:13.130
  • I wasn't because of the baby in the other room,
  • 00:09:13.130 --> 00:09:15.130
  • 'cause we wasn't even thinking about the
  • 00:09:15.130 --> 00:09:16.190
  • baby in the other room, it was us.
  • 00:09:16.190 --> 00:09:18.150
  • [Bishop] It was on.
  • 00:09:19.170 --> 00:09:20.110
  • - It was us.
  • 00:09:20.110 --> 00:09:21.170
  • And I just said, "I can't let you go,"
  • 00:09:21.170 --> 00:09:23.070
  • and after a long time of us on that floor.
  • 00:09:23.070 --> 00:09:27.240
  • - Just crying.
  • 00:09:28.170 --> 00:09:29.110
  • - We were crying.
  • 00:09:29.110 --> 00:09:29.280
  • - Upset.
  • 00:09:29.280 --> 00:09:30.230
  • - And she did not go,
  • 00:09:30.230 --> 00:09:31.180
  • and I am so...
  • 00:09:31.180 --> 00:09:32.250
  • - I was so hurt,
  • 00:09:32.250 --> 00:09:33.260
  • I was just so hurt,
  • 00:09:33.260 --> 00:09:34.260
  • and so disappointed.
  • 00:09:34.260 --> 00:09:36.030
  • Looking as time went on,
  • 00:09:36.030 --> 00:09:38.210
  • and we got healed.
  • 00:09:38.210 --> 00:09:39.150
  • - [George] Oh my God.
  • 00:09:39.150 --> 00:09:40.280
  • - I think about if I had forfeited what God had for us.
  • 00:09:40.280 --> 00:09:44.020
  • [Bishop] That's a key point, key point.
  • 00:09:44.150 --> 00:09:45.180
  • - I would have,
  • 00:09:45.180 --> 00:09:47.000
  • and
  • 00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:47.200
  • again, I'm glad.
  • 00:09:48.190 --> 00:09:50.160
  • I know it seems hard to that he told me.
  • 00:09:50.160 --> 00:09:52.040
  • If he didn't tell me,
  • 00:09:52.040 --> 00:09:53.230
  • it could have went into a relationship.
  • 00:09:53.230 --> 00:09:55.210
  • - Oh yeah.
  • 00:09:55.210 --> 00:09:56.180
  • - [Bishop] Exactly right.
  • 00:09:56.180 --> 00:09:57.080
  • - But dig this.
  • 00:09:57.080 --> 00:09:58.060
  • I like what you just said,
  • 00:09:58.060 --> 00:09:59.260
  • "You would've forfeited."
  • 00:09:59.260 --> 00:10:02.060
  • - [Mary] Yes.
  • 00:10:02.060 --> 00:10:03.000
  • - [Bishop] That's right.
  • 00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:03.230
  • - All of what God...
  • 00:10:03.230 --> 00:10:05.170
  • The devil didn't want you to see this day.
  • 00:10:05.170 --> 00:10:08.160
  • - [George] No he didn't, no he did not.
  • 00:10:08.160 --> 00:10:11.190
  • - And that's where some of the couples are right now,
  • 00:10:11.190 --> 00:10:15.150
  • and they're fighting, and they're holding on
  • 00:10:15.150 --> 00:10:17.080
  • like that doorknob.
  • 00:10:17.080 --> 00:10:19.010
  • - [George] Yes sir.
  • 00:10:19.010 --> 00:10:20.070
  • - And they're about to just let all go.
  • 00:10:20.070 --> 00:10:22.020
  • What do say to them?
  • 00:10:22.020 --> 00:10:23.160
  • - [George] I learned,
  • 00:10:23.160 --> 00:10:24.080
  • and typed it.
  • 00:10:24.260 --> 00:10:26.050
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:10:26.050 --> 00:10:27.170
  • - [George] I didn't wanna forget to say this.
  • 00:10:27.170 --> 00:10:28.120
  • - [Michael] Yes, sir.
  • 00:10:28.120 --> 00:10:29.060
  • - But I learned...
  • 00:10:29.060 --> 00:10:30.050
  • I didn't hear the Lord say it,
  • 00:10:30.050 --> 00:10:31.270
  • uh uh, no,
  • 00:10:31.270 --> 00:10:33.010
  • wasn't listening for Him,
  • 00:10:33.010 --> 00:10:34.220
  • I didn't hear Him say it,
  • 00:10:35.020 --> 00:10:36.080
  • But I learned the art of restarting.
  • 00:10:36.080 --> 00:10:40.030
  • The art of restarting.
  • 00:10:41.080 --> 00:10:43.170
  • It's okay, I think to restart.
  • 00:10:44.030 --> 00:10:47.230
  • - [Bishop] It is.
  • 00:10:47.230 --> 00:10:48.170
  • - God is a re-ing God.
  • 00:10:48.170 --> 00:10:50.290
  • - [Bishop] Yes He is.
  • 00:10:50.290 --> 00:10:51.280
  • (applause)
  • 00:10:51.280 --> 00:10:53.130
  • - Reestablish,
  • 00:10:53.130 --> 00:10:54.210
  • - [Bishop] Amen.
  • 00:10:54.210 --> 00:10:55.110
  • - Re concile.
  • 00:10:55.110 --> 00:10:56.190
  • - [Bishop] Yeah reform.
  • 00:10:56.190 --> 00:10:57.260
  • - Reconcile, well I'm you know, the re guy
  • 00:10:57.260 --> 00:10:59.230
  • with that one.
  • 00:10:59.230 --> 00:11:01.020
  • Was trying to be a good preacher right there.
  • 00:11:01.020 --> 00:11:02.250
  • (everyone laughing)
  • 00:11:02.250 --> 00:11:05.120
  • Try to get deep, re con cile (laughing).
  • 00:11:05.120 --> 00:11:08.120
  • And God is, He's...
  • 00:11:09.110 --> 00:11:10.190
  • I learned,
  • 00:11:11.290 --> 00:11:13.190
  • I'm not sure how,
  • 00:11:13.190 --> 00:11:15.070
  • but I learned that you can restart,
  • 00:11:15.070 --> 00:11:18.030
  • because I had so...
  • 00:11:18.030 --> 00:11:20.010
  • It was clear to me that I had blown this thing,
  • 00:11:22.150 --> 00:11:24.230
  • I really jacked this thing up,
  • 00:11:24.230 --> 00:11:27.030
  • I really messed it up,
  • 00:11:27.030 --> 00:11:28.080
  • and the only thing
  • 00:11:28.080 --> 00:11:29.060
  • I could see that night,
  • 00:11:29.060 --> 00:11:33.000
  • and throughout the night,
  • 00:11:33.000 --> 00:11:34.220
  • the next day was, "I need to start all over"
  • 00:11:34.220 --> 00:11:37.260
  • - [Bishop] Yeah.
  • 00:11:37.260 --> 00:11:38.200
  • - And I learned then,
  • 00:11:38.200 --> 00:11:39.240
  • that it's okay,
  • 00:11:39.240 --> 00:11:41.030
  • when you get into these real
  • 00:11:41.030 --> 00:11:44.140
  • uncompromising,
  • 00:11:44.140 --> 00:11:46.220
  • we can't figure this out
  • 00:11:46.220 --> 00:11:48.170
  • moments where the arguments have
  • 00:11:48.170 --> 00:11:50.160
  • gone too far, so far,
  • 00:11:50.160 --> 00:11:53.050
  • our feelings, "I don't like you no more."
  • 00:11:53.050 --> 00:11:56.150
  • As a matter of fact, some of you may have,
  • 00:11:56.150 --> 00:11:57.280
  • "I hate you."
  • 00:11:57.280 --> 00:11:59.020
  • - [Michael] Come on, come on.
  • 00:11:59.020 --> 00:11:59.290
  • - "I don't know why I even
  • 00:11:59.290 --> 00:12:01.210
  • said what I said to you."
  • 00:12:01.210 --> 00:12:03.270
  • But in the midst of all of that,
  • 00:12:05.140 --> 00:12:06.130
  • you need to know,
  • 00:12:06.130 --> 00:12:07.170
  • that you can reboot the system.
  • 00:12:07.170 --> 00:12:10.210
  • - [Bishop] Yeah, yeah, you can.
  • 00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:12.110
  • - You can restart.
  • 00:12:12.110 --> 00:12:15.010
  • You can start all over again,
  • 00:12:18.170 --> 00:12:20.190
  • and I believe...
  • 00:12:20.190 --> 00:12:21.170
  • I'm sorry, I'm talking too much.
  • 00:12:21.170 --> 00:12:22.150
  • That it's okay for you to know,
  • 00:12:22.150 --> 00:12:26.030
  • that we can start this thing all over.
  • 00:12:26.030 --> 00:12:28.000
  • We don't have a lot of arguments,
  • 00:12:30.160 --> 00:12:31.270
  • and tense heated moments.
  • 00:12:31.270 --> 00:12:34.270
  • - Heated discussion.
  • 00:12:34.270 --> 00:12:36.010
  • - Heated discussions, we just don't.
  • 00:12:36.010 --> 00:12:37.070
  • In the 40 years, I can name 'em all,
  • 00:12:37.070 --> 00:12:38.250
  • I think I can name 'em all on one had,
  • 00:12:38.250 --> 00:12:40.240
  • when they were intense or what have you,
  • 00:12:40.240 --> 00:12:43.290
  • 'cause I learned my lesson.
  • 00:12:43.290 --> 00:12:45.260
  • And I've learned that when we start to go in that direction,
  • 00:12:45.260 --> 00:12:49.140
  • I say, "Let's start, hold it,
  • 00:12:49.140 --> 00:12:50.240
  • let's start all over."
  • 00:12:53.200 --> 00:12:54.270
  • And if we have to start at the place
  • 00:12:54.270 --> 00:12:57.220
  • where I say, "Yo dude, I'm sorry."
  • 00:12:58.030 --> 00:13:02.030
  • do you believe that sex should be reserved for marriage?
  • 00:13:14.120 --> 00:13:17.010
  • - Oh goodness.
  • 00:13:17.010 --> 00:13:20.200
  • - Well, according to the Bible
  • 00:13:20.200 --> 00:13:21.080
  • - Well, according to the Bible
  • 00:13:21.110 --> 00:13:22.260
  • it should be, but you have to be realistic
  • 00:13:22.260 --> 00:13:25.240
  • about it today.
  • 00:13:25.240 --> 00:13:27.010
  • about it today.
  • 00:13:27.010 --> 00:13:27.290
  • It's not...For those who can and want to,
  • 00:13:27.290 --> 00:13:31.180
  • I applaud you.
  • 00:13:31.180 --> 00:13:33.120
  • And then there are others who cannot, so.
  • 00:13:33.120 --> 00:13:36.240
  • - [Voiceover] Do you believe that sex
  • 00:13:36.290 --> 00:13:37.200
  • should be reserved for marriage?
  • 00:13:37.200 --> 00:13:39.060
  • - I'mma say no.
  • 00:13:43.110 --> 00:13:44.170
  • - [Voiceover] Why?
  • 00:13:45.110 --> 00:13:46.110
  • - I don't equate the two.
  • 00:13:49.010 --> 00:13:51.030
  • So, I don't necessarily think that the two
  • 00:13:52.080 --> 00:13:54.120
  • have anything to do with each other.
  • 00:13:54.120 --> 00:13:55.260
  • But I do know this, I know somebody who waited,
  • 00:13:55.260 --> 00:13:57.240
  • and they got a divorce, so I don't necessarily think that
  • 00:13:57.240 --> 00:14:00.260
  • waiting assures your lifetime partner,
  • 00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:05.220
  • or whatever it is.
  • 00:14:05.220 --> 00:14:07.100
  • Honestly, I don't think it's that big of a deal.
  • 00:14:07.100 --> 00:14:08.050
  • I think it's a personal preference,
  • 00:14:08.050 --> 00:14:10.130
  • I mean if you want to engage in intercourse
  • 00:14:10.130 --> 00:14:14.020
  • before marriage, you should be able to.
  • 00:14:14.020 --> 00:14:17.260
  • sex being reserved for marriage?
  • 00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:18.110
  • - I think it's a great idea,
  • 00:14:18.200 --> 00:14:20.030
  • and that's what it says in the Bible.
  • 00:14:20.030 --> 00:14:22.280
  • I feel like it's a sacred thing.
  • 00:14:24.030 --> 00:14:26.040
  • I feel like in the Bible, that's what it's meant for.
  • 00:14:26.040 --> 00:14:29.010
  • For sex to be held out 'til marriage.
  • 00:14:29.150 --> 00:14:31.250
  • Because I feel like it's a special thing that
  • 00:14:31.250 --> 00:14:33.200
  • it should be held with.
  • 00:14:33.200 --> 00:14:34.180
  • Not with a whole rack of people.
  • 00:14:34.180 --> 00:14:35.250
  • But that one person, you know what I mean?
  • 00:14:35.250 --> 00:14:37.130
  • - Yeah, yeah. Especially nowadays.
  • 00:14:37.130 --> 00:14:39.040
  • There's a lot of diseases.
  • 00:14:39.070 --> 00:14:40.160
  • All that kind of stuff out here now.
  • 00:14:40.160 --> 00:14:42.110
  • I feel like nowadays it's given out like candy.
  • 00:14:43.220 --> 00:14:45.270
  • I feel like nowadays it's given out like candy.
  • 00:14:45.270 --> 00:14:46.100
  • You know what I mean?
  • 00:14:46.140 --> 00:14:47.050
  • It's just easy to get,
  • 00:14:47.050 --> 00:14:48.170
  • and the value of it is just kind of deteriorating.
  • 00:14:48.170 --> 00:14:51.260
  • I feel like you should wait
  • 00:14:52.220 --> 00:14:53.230
  • because it makes it more special.
  • 00:14:53.230 --> 00:14:55.130
  • It makes the connection more special.
  • 00:14:55.130 --> 00:14:56.250
  • It makes everything more special for that one person.
  • 00:14:56.250 --> 00:15:00.080
  • But, nowadays, it's just going downhill.
  • 00:15:01.210 --> 00:15:05.020
  • You can go anywhere and get any.
  • 00:15:05.020 --> 00:15:07.210
  • You know what I mean?
  • 00:15:07.210 --> 00:15:08.260
  • That's just, yeah.
  • 00:15:08.260 --> 00:15:09.270
  • I think I can name 'em all on one had,
  • 00:15:18.030 --> 00:15:19.140
  • when they were intense or what have you,
  • 00:15:19.140 --> 00:15:22.190
  • 'cause I learned my lesson.
  • 00:15:22.190 --> 00:15:24.160
  • And I've learned that when we start to go in that direction,
  • 00:15:24.160 --> 00:15:28.040
  • I say, "Let's start, hold it,
  • 00:15:28.040 --> 00:15:29.140
  • let's start all over."
  • 00:15:32.100 --> 00:15:33.170
  • And if we have to start at the place
  • 00:15:33.170 --> 00:15:36.120
  • where I say, "Yo dude, I'm sorry."
  • 00:15:36.230 --> 00:15:40.210
  • 'Cause the fifth one on my hand was just last month.
  • 00:15:41.130 --> 00:15:45.250
  • What'd you do to me that made me so.
  • 00:15:48.210 --> 00:15:50.050
  • What did you do.
  • 00:15:50.050 --> 00:15:52.020
  • (laughing)
  • 00:15:52.040 --> 00:15:52.270
  • Something happened,
  • 00:15:52.270 --> 00:15:53.250
  • we got to fussing in the car.
  • 00:15:53.250 --> 00:15:55.290
  • - I think I said, "You always win."
  • 00:15:56.110 --> 00:15:58.060
  • - Ooh, I said, "What you talkin' about?"
  • 00:15:58.060 --> 00:16:01.100
  • - [Bishop] Yeah.
  • 00:16:01.100 --> 00:16:02.080
  • - "This ain't no who wins game,
  • 00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:05.020
  • what are you talkin' about?"
  • 00:16:05.020 --> 00:16:06.110
  • And if just the smarter one, I'm just the....
  • 00:16:06.110 --> 00:16:08.130
  • No (laughing), no, I didn't say that yall,
  • 00:16:08.130 --> 00:16:11.270
  • honest to God, that was get you to laugh.
  • 00:16:11.270 --> 00:16:13.230
  • - But we realized that you can't compare,
  • 00:16:14.230 --> 00:16:17.160
  • - [Both] You can compete, and you can't complain.
  • 00:16:17.160 --> 00:16:18.220
  • - Those are the three Cs.
  • 00:16:18.220 --> 00:16:20.090
  • - [Michael] You can what?
  • 00:16:20.090 --> 00:16:21.110
  • - [Both] Don't compare.
  • 00:16:21.110 --> 00:16:22.120
  • - [Michael] Don't compare.
  • 00:16:22.120 --> 00:16:23.020
  • - Don't compete.
  • 00:16:23.020 --> 00:16:23.250
  • - Don't compete.
  • 00:16:24.020 --> 00:16:24.290
  • - And Lord, don't complain.
  • 00:16:24.290 --> 00:16:26.090
  • - Even with what you got going on in your mind,
  • 00:16:26.090 --> 00:16:28.190
  • and in your head.
  • 00:16:28.190 --> 00:16:29.050
  • - Right,
  • 00:16:29.050 --> 00:16:30.080
  • so had to work through those times.
  • 00:16:30.080 --> 00:16:31.060
  • - So we was fussin',
  • 00:16:31.060 --> 00:16:32.020
  • we was arguing.
  • 00:16:32.020 --> 00:16:32.260
  • - A heated disagreement.
  • 00:16:35.090 --> 00:16:36.010
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:16:36.010 --> 00:16:36.250
  • And we were in the car,
  • 00:16:36.250 --> 00:16:37.290
  • and finally, everything shut down.
  • 00:16:37.290 --> 00:16:40.010
  • - [Mary] Silent treatment.
  • 00:16:40.010 --> 00:16:40.210
  • - [George] Boom!
  • 00:16:40.210 --> 00:16:41.180
  • - [Mary] Silent treatment.
  • 00:16:41.180 --> 00:16:42.280
  • - [Bishop] Yeah.
  • 00:16:42.280 --> 00:16:44.030
  • - Every body know about silent treatment.
  • 00:16:44.030 --> 00:16:44.260
  • (audience agreeing)
  • 00:16:44.260 --> 00:16:46.100
  • - 'Cause I don't even know where this about to go right now.
  • 00:16:46.100 --> 00:16:48.020
  • - Shut it down.
  • 00:16:48.020 --> 00:16:49.140
  • - But in your head, youre having conversations.
  • 00:16:49.140 --> 00:16:51.080
  • (everyone agreeing)
  • 00:16:51.080 --> 00:16:53.090
  • You are blasting her, and blasting him.
  • 00:16:53.090 --> 00:16:57.190
  • it's almost close cussing, almost,
  • 00:16:57.190 --> 00:17:00.260
  • but you won't do that 'cause your afraid of God.
  • 00:17:00.260 --> 00:17:03.260
  • But things that going on in your head,
  • 00:17:04.180 --> 00:17:06.080
  • and toward the end of the journey
  • 00:17:06.080 --> 00:17:09.110
  • we we're pulling in,
  • 00:17:09.110 --> 00:17:10.180
  • I hit the button, the garage door goes up,
  • 00:17:10.180 --> 00:17:12.170
  • and for some reason.
  • 00:17:12.170 --> 00:17:14.100
  • There's some things that we go through,
  • 00:17:14.100 --> 00:17:15.230
  • I just can't explain it all.
  • 00:17:15.230 --> 00:17:17.010
  • My wife says it was the Holy Ghost,
  • 00:17:17.010 --> 00:17:20.020
  • I don know what it was.
  • 00:17:20.020 --> 00:17:22.000
  • But for some reason, I decided
  • 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:23.270
  • when I get out the car, and I had it all planned.
  • 00:17:23.270 --> 00:17:26.210
  • I said, when I get out the car,
  • 00:17:27.140 --> 00:17:28.280
  • we've got some things in the trunk,
  • 00:17:28.280 --> 00:17:30.090
  • I'm gonna walk around.
  • 00:17:30.090 --> 00:17:31.150
  • Now I imagined all this before it happened.
  • 00:17:31.150 --> 00:17:33.280
  • I'm gonna walk around,
  • 00:17:33.280 --> 00:17:35.180
  • and when I go to lift the trunk up,
  • 00:17:35.180 --> 00:17:37.090
  • she's gonna be right there,
  • 00:17:37.090 --> 00:17:38.180
  • and Imma say, "Baby, I'm sorry."
  • 00:17:38.180 --> 00:17:41.150
  • - [Bishop] Yeah.
  • 00:17:41.150 --> 00:17:42.120
  • - So, we got out the car,
  • 00:17:42.120 --> 00:17:44.210
  • I walked around the back,
  • 00:17:44.210 --> 00:17:46.160
  • I raised the trunk up.
  • 00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:48.120
  • - Drama.
  • 00:17:48.120 --> 00:17:49.060
  • - And she came around,
  • 00:17:49.060 --> 00:17:50.150
  • I said, "Baby, I'm sorry, (Mary laughing)
  • 00:17:50.150 --> 00:17:52.070
  • I don't know where we're gonna go with this,
  • 00:17:52.070 --> 00:17:54.270
  • but I just want you to know I'm sorry,"
  • 00:17:54.270 --> 00:17:56.230
  • and the moment I said, "I'm sorry,"
  • 00:17:57.060 --> 00:17:58.260
  • she said, "(crying) I'm sorry too!"
  • 00:17:59.250 --> 00:18:01.260
  • (everyone laughing)
  • 00:18:01.260 --> 00:18:05.270
  • All inside of me said, "Negro, you just won this one bro."
  • 00:18:05.270 --> 00:18:10.040
  • (everyone laughing)
  • 00:18:10.040 --> 00:18:12.050
  • 'Cause all I said was, "I'm sorry,"
  • 00:18:12.050 --> 00:18:13.270
  • but she brought the tears, and the passion.
  • 00:18:14.130 --> 00:18:17.130
  • - You won again.
  • 00:18:17.210 --> 00:18:18.150
  • (everyone laughing)
  • 00:18:18.150 --> 00:18:19.050
  • - He won again!
  • 00:18:19.050 --> 00:18:20.040
  • - [Bishop] Yeah.
  • 00:18:21.240 --> 00:18:22.210
  • - In 40 years of marriage,
  • 00:18:23.060 --> 00:18:24.190
  • one of the things we've have learned in 40 years,
  • 00:18:24.190 --> 00:18:26.150
  • it's never about winning,
  • 00:18:26.150 --> 00:18:27.230
  • it's never about losing,
  • 00:18:27.230 --> 00:18:29.270
  • it's just about making it all happen.
  • 00:18:29.270 --> 00:18:32.160
  • Doing what you gotta do,
  • 00:18:32.290 --> 00:18:34.260
  • and no longer
  • 00:18:34.260 --> 00:18:36.060
  • putting the counting,
  • 00:18:37.080 --> 00:18:38.120
  • putting the points.
  • 00:18:38.160 --> 00:18:39.230
  • What did I do, what he do, what did you do.
  • 00:18:39.230 --> 00:18:41.120
  • - [Bishop] Yeah.
  • 00:18:41.120 --> 00:18:42.190
  • - We concluded, after 40 years of marriage
  • 00:18:42.190 --> 00:18:44.160
  • we've learned that it's all about what we do
  • 00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:46.290
  • 'cause what we do affects us,
  • 00:18:47.110 --> 00:18:49.010
  • and what affects us, effects our children.
  • 00:18:49.170 --> 00:18:52.180
  • (panel agreeing)
  • 00:18:52.200 --> 00:18:54.040
  • - What I saw happen just then
  • 00:18:54.040 --> 00:18:55.170
  • in that scenario,
  • 00:18:55.170 --> 00:18:57.010
  • I saw forgiveness, okay.
  • 00:18:58.090 --> 00:19:00.220
  • Not trying to sound deep,
  • 00:19:00.220 --> 00:19:02.240
  • but after all,
  • 00:19:02.240 --> 00:19:06.000
  • we're all here
  • 00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:07.260
  • because of forgiveness.
  • 00:19:07.260 --> 00:19:08.240
  • - [Michael] Yes sir, absolutely.
  • 00:19:08.240 --> 00:19:10.200
  • - Everything we have,
  • 00:19:10.200 --> 00:19:12.130
  • and we do
  • 00:19:12.130 --> 00:19:14.010
  • is because of forgiveness.
  • 00:19:14.010 --> 00:19:15.260
  • If there was not forgiveness,
  • 00:19:16.080 --> 00:19:18.200
  • there'd be no salvation.
  • 00:19:18.200 --> 00:19:20.000
  • - Right.
  • 00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:20.280
  • - No eternal life,
  • 00:19:21.060 --> 00:19:22.230
  • no walk with God.
  • 00:19:22.230 --> 00:19:24.080
  • So, I think that if...
  • 00:19:24.080 --> 00:19:26.070
  • To go back to the original point in the question.
  • 00:19:26.070 --> 00:19:29.140
  • I think that if you begin to look at
  • 00:19:29.140 --> 00:19:31.030
  • how important forgiveness is,
  • 00:19:31.030 --> 00:19:33.130
  • are you willing to forgive each other?
  • 00:19:34.160 --> 00:19:36.240
  • 'Cause the Bible says, "If you stand praying,
  • 00:19:37.090 --> 00:19:40.050
  • and praying, and praying, and you haven't forgiven,
  • 00:19:40.050 --> 00:19:42.200
  • then you're Father in heaven won't forgive you"
  • 00:19:42.200 --> 00:19:44.220
  • said in Mark 11:25.
  • 00:19:44.220 --> 00:19:46.290
  • - I have always, I have always been impressed with...
  • 00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:51.120
  • This man is a walking Bible.
  • 00:19:51.120 --> 00:19:54.050
  • No, no, I just couldn't avoid not saying that.
  • 00:19:54.050 --> 00:19:59.050
  • - [Bishop] Well, I appreciate that.
  • 00:19:59.220 --> 00:20:00.190
  • - At that particular time.
  • 00:20:00.190 --> 00:20:01.130
  • - [Bishop] That's kind.
  • 00:20:01.130 --> 00:20:02.230
  • - I appreciate your ministry, go please, go on.
  • 00:20:02.230 --> 00:20:03.290
  • - And so, people read the twenty-second
  • 00:20:03.290 --> 00:20:05.230
  • to the twenty-fourth verse,
  • 00:20:05.230 --> 00:20:07.020
  • "Have faith in God, have God kind of faith,"
  • 00:20:07.020 --> 00:20:08.180
  • and all that stuff,
  • 00:20:08.180 --> 00:20:09.230
  • and trying to get something from God,
  • 00:20:09.230 --> 00:20:10.250
  • and get God to move.
  • 00:20:10.250 --> 00:20:11.270
  • Well, He's not going to move
  • 00:20:11.270 --> 00:20:14.010
  • if you haven't read 25, you gotta forgive, okay.
  • 00:20:14.010 --> 00:20:18.060
  • And you said, "Push the restart button."
  • 00:20:18.060 --> 00:20:20.220
  • That's what forgiveness does.
  • 00:20:20.220 --> 00:20:22.140
  • (everyone agreeing)
  • 00:20:22.140 --> 00:20:23.070
  • When you forgive,
  • 00:20:23.070 --> 00:20:24.140
  • God is saying start over again, I forgive you,
  • 00:20:24.140 --> 00:20:27.210
  • start over again.
  • 00:20:27.210 --> 00:20:29.030
  • So, when you forgive, you're saying let's start over.
  • 00:20:29.150 --> 00:20:32.110
  • When you say I forgive you,
  • 00:20:32.230 --> 00:20:34.050
  • you're saying I wanna start over again with you,
  • 00:20:34.050 --> 00:20:36.070
  • I wanna leave the past, leave what happened,
  • 00:20:36.070 --> 00:20:38.170
  • and I wanna start new.
  • 00:20:38.170 --> 00:20:40.150
  • Every day is a new day in your life,
  • 00:20:40.150 --> 00:20:43.170
  • and every day is a chapter in the whole journey
  • 00:20:43.170 --> 00:20:47.240
  • as you call it.
  • 00:20:48.080 --> 00:20:49.160
  • And so, if you forgive, then God honors that,
  • 00:20:49.160 --> 00:20:52.280
  • because you're saying, I'm doing it like God,
  • 00:20:52.280 --> 00:20:55.260
  • He forgave me, I'm gonna forgive my husband, my wife.
  • 00:20:56.090 --> 00:20:59.070
  • Let forgive each other, let's forgive us.
  • 00:20:59.070 --> 00:21:02.180
  • We've both been confused,
  • 00:21:02.180 --> 00:21:04.030
  • we've both been...
  • 00:21:04.030 --> 00:21:05.010
  • I remember a time when
  • 00:21:05.010 --> 00:21:06.120
  • we, early in marriage,
  • 00:21:06.120 --> 00:21:09.150
  • I punched a hole through the door,
  • 00:21:09.150 --> 00:21:12.040
  • when we were,
  • 00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:15.260
  • I don't know what we were talking about.
  • 00:21:15.260 --> 00:21:16.210
  • - I forgot about that.
  • 00:21:16.210 --> 00:21:17.250
  • - [Michael] That must've been on Tuesday.
  • 00:21:17.250 --> 00:21:18.260
  • (everyone laughing)
  • 00:21:18.260 --> 00:21:21.270
  • - When you was reading your Bible.
  • 00:21:21.270 --> 00:21:24.010
  • That was Tuesday.
  • 00:21:25.030 --> 00:21:26.190
  • I remember that, that was Tuesday.
  • 00:21:26.190 --> 00:21:28.290
  • - [Dee Dee] While he was fasting and praying.
  • 00:21:28.290 --> 00:21:31.080
  • - Yeah, she had shared some things.
  • 00:21:33.210 --> 00:21:37.270
  • - I had lied, I had lied to him.
  • 00:21:37.270 --> 00:21:39.280
  • - She had told me that I was the only one ever.
  • 00:21:39.280 --> 00:21:43.190
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:21:43.190 --> 00:21:44.080
  • - And so,
  • 00:21:45.050 --> 00:21:45.290
  • I'm thinking, you know.
  • 00:21:45.290 --> 00:21:47.270
  • - The only person I had-had sex with.
  • 00:21:48.150 --> 00:21:50.150
  • - And so, I'm thinking,
  • 00:21:50.150 --> 00:21:51.200
  • ain't nobody got no history but me,
  • 00:21:52.220 --> 00:21:54.180
  • and the ego, and all of that stuff
  • 00:21:55.040 --> 00:21:57.180
  • is flying, and then she's in this confession mode,
  • 00:21:57.180 --> 00:22:01.250
  • you know, like the climax thing.
  • 00:22:03.040 --> 00:22:04.170
  • Cleaning house up and everything,
  • 00:22:05.130 --> 00:22:06.290
  • getting everything straight,
  • 00:22:06.290 --> 00:22:08.060
  • and if we're gonna live for God now,
  • 00:22:08.060 --> 00:22:09.170
  • and be saved, we gotta be honest.
  • 00:22:09.170 --> 00:22:10.290
  • And so, she started kinda admitting.
  • 00:22:10.290 --> 00:22:14.120
  • So, I'm getting real angry.
  • 00:22:14.120 --> 00:22:18.040
  • I'm, "Okay well, how many times was it?"
  • 00:22:19.020 --> 00:22:21.120
  • "When and where at?"
  • 00:22:23.010 --> 00:22:24.080
  • I'm tryin' to dig up all the ghosts,
  • 00:22:25.060 --> 00:22:27.150
  • (everyone laughing)
  • 00:22:27.150 --> 00:22:28.200
  • and skeletons she's trying to forget,
  • 00:22:28.200 --> 00:22:31.000
  • and I'm just wearing on her,
  • 00:22:31.000 --> 00:22:32.190
  • and just wailing, and wailing, and wailing
  • 00:22:32.190 --> 00:22:34.150
  • And so, the more stuff she told me
  • 00:22:34.270 --> 00:22:38.030
  • the madder I got!
  • 00:22:38.030 --> 00:22:39.160
  • And I got so mad, I just ran down the hall,
  • 00:22:40.010 --> 00:22:42.060
  • and punched the door,
  • 00:22:42.060 --> 00:22:44.020
  • not no thick door.
  • 00:22:44.190 --> 00:22:46.030
  • (everyone laughing)
  • 00:22:46.030 --> 00:22:48.250
  • Them little trailers,
  • 00:22:48.250 --> 00:22:50.010
  • you know, them little mobile home doors,
  • 00:22:50.010 --> 00:22:51.240
  • ain't no core inside of it.
  • 00:22:51.240 --> 00:22:54.050
  • I punched the door,
  • 00:22:54.050 --> 00:22:55.060
  • and mad, you know mad,
  • 00:22:56.020 --> 00:22:58.100
  • but then I think, but then forgiveness
  • 00:22:58.100 --> 00:23:02.210
  • began to come in my mind.
  • 00:23:04.120 --> 00:23:05.280
  • - Well, before he punched the door,
  • 00:23:06.200 --> 00:23:07.270
  • that's right, before he punched the door,
  • 00:23:07.270 --> 00:23:09.250
  • we were in the bed of course,
  • 00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:14.010
  • well, the boxspring and mattress on the floor,
  • 00:23:14.010 --> 00:23:16.100
  • so he grabbed my neck and pushed me down,
  • 00:23:16.100 --> 00:23:20.090
  • you know grabbed my neck,
  • 00:23:20.090 --> 00:23:21.120
  • but he didn't choke me thank God,
  • 00:23:21.120 --> 00:23:22.120
  • he didn't choke me, sorry,
  • 00:23:22.120 --> 00:23:24.200
  • he didn't choke me, that's when he went down the hall,
  • 00:23:24.200 --> 00:23:27.130
  • and hit the wall.
  • 00:23:27.220 --> 00:23:29.210
  • - Hit the door.
  • 00:23:29.230 --> 00:23:30.210
  • - Was it the door or the wall?
  • 00:23:30.210 --> 00:23:31.260
  • - The door, the little paper thin door.
  • 00:23:31.260 --> 00:23:33.020
  • - And so, you know...
  • 00:23:34.190 --> 00:23:35.290
  • - I forgot about that.
  • 00:23:35.290 --> 00:23:37.040
  • - I had to grow up.
  • 00:23:37.040 --> 00:23:39.140
  • - [Michael] Absolutely.
  • 00:23:39.140 --> 00:23:40.220
  • - And accept responsibility for forgiving.
  • 00:23:40.220 --> 00:23:44.030
  • In fact it wasn't even something that she had did to me.
  • 00:23:44.190 --> 00:23:47.000
  • - [Michael] Right.
  • 00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:48.060
  • - It was something that happened before me,
  • 00:23:48.060 --> 00:23:50.030
  • and I'm just wailing on something that didn't mean anything,
  • 00:23:50.030 --> 00:23:53.270
  • but in my mind.
  • 00:23:53.270 --> 00:23:56.010
  • - At that time it was big.
  • 00:23:56.010 --> 00:23:57.120
  • - Yeah, the devil's talkin' in my mind,
  • 00:23:57.120 --> 00:23:59.260
  • and making me care about it.
  • 00:23:59.260 --> 00:24:02.030
  • You know, the devil will make you care about
  • 00:24:02.190 --> 00:24:04.250
  • every little thing,
  • 00:24:04.250 --> 00:24:05.280
  • (panel agreeing)
  • 00:24:05.280 --> 00:24:06.280
  • that don't even mean nothing.
  • 00:24:06.280 --> 00:24:08.010
  • - And he can narrate a situation.
  • 00:24:08.010 --> 00:24:10.110
  • - [Bishop] Oh man, oh man.
  • 00:24:10.110 --> 00:24:11.200
  • - Better than any...
  • 00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:12.210
  • - Big time yeah,
  • 00:24:12.210 --> 00:24:13.140
  • and use that,
  • 00:24:13.140 --> 00:24:14.120
  • because we have to understand,
  • 00:24:14.120 --> 00:24:16.050
  • "The thief comes not but for to steal,
  • 00:24:16.050 --> 00:24:18.190
  • kill, and destroy," John 10 and 10
  • 00:24:18.190 --> 00:24:20.060
  • tells us that every time the devil.
  • 00:24:20.060 --> 00:24:21.130
  • But Jesus wants us to have abundant life,
  • 00:24:21.130 --> 00:24:23.090
  • more than enough, extraordinary,
  • 00:24:23.090 --> 00:24:24.210
  • and we can't let the devil defeat us.
  • 00:24:24.210 --> 00:24:29.040
  • - [George] Yeah.
  • 00:24:29.040 --> 00:24:30.160
  • - We just gotta say, no we're not giving in to this,
  • 00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:32.240
  • we're gonna forgive, we're gonna start over,
  • 00:24:32.240 --> 00:24:35.150
  • we're gonna rework this thing,
  • 00:24:35.150 --> 00:24:37.050
  • we're gonna focus on each other,
  • 00:24:37.050 --> 00:24:38.150
  • we're gonna care,
  • 00:24:38.150 --> 00:24:39.160
  • we're gonna serve each other,
  • 00:24:39.160 --> 00:24:40.270
  • we're gonna be examples to others,
  • 00:24:40.270 --> 00:24:42.090
  • we're gonna enjoy this thing,
  • 00:24:42.090 --> 00:24:44.050
  • we're gonna be prosperous, and successful.
  • 00:24:44.050 --> 00:24:46.000
  • You gotta have some goals,
  • 00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:47.090
  • and then walk in forgiveness all the time.
  • 00:24:47.090 --> 00:24:50.130
  • You gotta be in a constant forgiveness mode.
  • 00:24:50.280 --> 00:24:52.290
  • - [Voiceover] You ready?
  • 00:25:01.190 --> 00:25:02.070
  • - What we liked best about tonight
  • 00:25:02.140 --> 00:25:03.080
  • was the realness, the openness.
  • 00:25:03.080 --> 00:25:05.050
  • Just to see how they came so far in their marriages.
  • 00:25:05.230 --> 00:25:09.130
  • That, it's just a wonderful thing to see that they've,
  • 00:25:09.130 --> 00:25:13.260
  • the couples' been together for 39 and 40 years
  • 00:25:14.030 --> 00:25:17.020
  • and they are still, sexually, just exploring each other.
  • 00:25:17.020 --> 00:25:21.290
  • - Yeah, I think that was the, a very good,
  • 00:25:21.290 --> 00:25:24.100
  • important part, too.
  • 00:25:24.100 --> 00:25:25.220
  • There are a lot of things that couples deal with
  • 00:25:25.220 --> 00:25:27.190
  • that they're really unaware that once you're in church
  • 00:25:27.190 --> 00:25:30.090
  • that you can talk about freely.
  • 00:25:30.090 --> 00:25:32.060
  • And I think they set a lot of people free-- - Yeah
  • 00:25:32.060 --> 00:25:34.260
  • - In discussing different things about climaxes and things.
  • 00:25:34.260 --> 00:25:37.240
  • You don't expect that to happen at church or talk.
  • 00:25:37.240 --> 00:25:40.050
  • And they're very open and it was very helpful.
  • 00:25:40.050 --> 00:25:42.150
  • They not only talked about it,
  • 00:25:42.150 --> 00:25:43.240
  • but they gave direction and insight in it, so...
  • 00:25:43.240 --> 00:25:46.110
  • - Yep. It was real. (laughs)
  • 00:25:46.110 --> 00:25:46.170
  • I really , really had a great time,
  • 00:25:47.070 --> 00:25:48.170
  • I think that my wife, Tina,
  • 00:25:48.170 --> 00:25:52.050
  • and I learned a lot tonight.
  • 00:25:52.050 --> 00:25:54.170
  • How to forgive, and forget.
  • 00:25:54.170 --> 00:25:57.120
  • And be very romantic in bed,
  • 00:25:57.120 --> 00:26:00.100
  • I learned that tonight (laughs)
  • 00:26:00.100 --> 00:26:02.290
  • - Ditto, I agree with him.
  • 00:26:02.290 --> 00:26:05.230
  • I learned about them being transparent,
  • 00:26:05.230 --> 00:26:08.110
  • I think that's very key,
  • 00:26:08.110 --> 00:26:10.030
  • about them being transparent,
  • 00:26:10.030 --> 00:26:11.240
  • and that kind of helps us, in our marriage
  • 00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:15.140
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:26:15.140 --> 00:26:16.040
  • - Well, this has always blessed my life.
  • 00:26:17.060 --> 00:26:18.240
  • I always come here, you know, every couple of months,
  • 00:26:18.260 --> 00:26:21.030
  • and it seems like every time I come here,
  • 00:26:21.030 --> 00:26:22.280
  • it's almost as if Mike and Dee Dee
  • 00:26:22.280 --> 00:26:25.010
  • is like lookin' into my window, into my world,
  • 00:26:25.010 --> 00:26:28.130
  • and it always seems to give me something
  • 00:26:28.130 --> 00:26:30.050
  • that I can actually take home.
  • 00:26:30.050 --> 00:26:31.190
  • So, tonight I am pressin' the restart button
  • 00:26:31.190 --> 00:26:35.050
  • and I am gonna follow through
  • 00:26:35.050 --> 00:26:36.240
  • and I'm gonna do what I have to do
  • 00:26:36.240 --> 00:26:38.060
  • to keep my marriage strong.
  • 00:26:38.060 --> 00:26:39.190
  • Thank you guys!
  • 00:26:39.190 --> 00:26:40.230
  • (makes kissing sound)
  • 00:26:40.230 --> 00:26:41.210
  • I think when people can see other people
  • 00:26:41.210 --> 00:26:44.250
  • that are living this thing the way God
  • 00:26:45.130 --> 00:26:48.000
  • called us all to live it,
  • 00:26:48.210 --> 00:26:50.240
  • it makes it easier to embrace
  • 00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:54.190
  • and to really feel like we can do this thing.
  • 00:26:54.190 --> 00:26:57.250
  • - I would have to concur with that as well.
  • 00:26:59.010 --> 00:27:01.180
  • What I got from this evening was,
  • 00:27:01.180 --> 00:27:03.240
  • again, that the openness,
  • 00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:06.180
  • that we saw people who were willing
  • 00:27:06.180 --> 00:27:09.130
  • to share and give intimate details about their lives
  • 00:27:09.130 --> 00:27:13.130
  • which of course will help others
  • 00:27:13.240 --> 00:27:16.220
  • who've said and heard them be so open with,
  • 00:27:17.070 --> 00:27:20.040
  • and, open and honest, with how they live their lives
  • 00:27:20.040 --> 00:27:23.190
  • and how they've come to this place
  • 00:27:23.190 --> 00:27:25.100
  • where their marriage is on top.
  • 00:27:25.100 --> 00:27:27.190
  • So I was excited about that.
  • 00:27:27.190 --> 00:27:29.170
  • - [Voiceover] Thank you for viewing Marriage Made Easy.
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  • - All right, your next counseling session
  • 00:27:42.280 --> 00:27:44.100
  • "Why is that boy over here in the house,
  • 00:27:45.020 --> 00:27:45.260
  • what's up with this?"
  • 00:27:45.260 --> 00:27:48.150
  • - [Michael] Turn it up Bishop, turn it up.
  • 00:27:48.220 --> 00:27:50.170
  • (everyone laughing)
  • 00:27:50.170 --> 00:27:52.200
  • - "What are you doing calling him over here?"
  • 00:27:52.200 --> 00:27:53.260
  • - [Michael] Yeah.
  • 00:27:53.260 --> 00:27:55.020
  • - And so, I started huffing and puffing,
  • 00:27:55.140 --> 00:27:57.200
  • and talking, and saying a bunch of stuff,
  • 00:27:57.200 --> 00:27:59.290
  • and accusing, and everything else,
  • 00:27:59.290 --> 00:28:01.230
  • and she just got tired of it,
  • 00:28:01.230 --> 00:28:03.110
  • and grabbed that Hardees glass, boy.
  • 00:28:03.110 --> 00:28:05.050
  • - [Joe] It was full of ice.
  • 00:28:05.050 --> 00:28:06.040
  • - Full of ice in that thing man,
  • 00:28:06.040 --> 00:28:07.120
  • It's a good thing I ducked,
  • 00:28:07.120 --> 00:28:09.100
  • that thing would've bust my head,
  • 00:28:09.100 --> 00:28:10.220
  • and I said, "Ooh, she got some fire here,
  • 00:28:12.180 --> 00:28:14.080
  • girl you got some fire."
  • 00:28:14.080 --> 00:28:15.220
  • Maybe I need to chill out a little bit here,
  • 00:28:15.220 --> 00:28:17.200
  • not talk so much.
  • 00:28:17.200 --> 00:28:19.030
  • But see, we always have,
  • 00:28:19.030 --> 00:28:19.110