The LifeStyle: Nyjah's Story Part 1 | TBN

The LifeStyle: Nyjah's Story Part 1

Watch The LifeStyle: Nyjah's Story Part 1
October 29, 2017
28:29

Living by Faith with Mike & DeeDee Freeman

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The LifeStyle: Nyjah's Story Part 1

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  • It's gonna be an exciting one, I promise you that.
  • 00:00:03.030 --> 00:00:06.140
  • We talked with a young lady who was involved in lesbianism,
  • 00:00:07.110 --> 00:00:12.020
  • as well as some young men about homosexuality
  • 00:00:12.020 --> 00:00:16.070
  • in the previous broadcast, but today we're
  • 00:00:16.070 --> 00:00:19.140
  • going to literally get to some updated information
  • 00:00:19.140 --> 00:00:23.100
  • in this testimony.
  • 00:00:23.100 --> 00:00:25.030
  • You won't want to miss this.
  • 00:00:25.280 --> 00:00:27.260
  • Stay tuned.
  • 00:00:27.260 --> 00:00:29.030
  • Today, on Living by Faith...
  • 00:01:02.110 --> 00:01:03.090
  • - I had my first sexual encounter with a woman.
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  • - [Voiceover] Okay.
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  • - When I was young at the babysitter.
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  • It was like a teenage girl that she kept after school,
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  • and you know, she would help her, you know,
  • 00:01:11.100 --> 00:01:13.290
  • with the little ones after school.
  • 00:01:13.290 --> 00:01:15.080
  • - [Voiceover] Oh my.
  • 00:01:15.080 --> 00:01:16.160
  • - So she trusted, you know, the young lady,
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  • and you know, she would you know, take care of the kids,
  • 00:01:18.150 --> 00:01:21.150
  • feed the kids, and do things like that.
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  • So I was very young.
  • 00:01:22.250 --> 00:01:24.020
  • - [Voiceover] Didn't like it.
  • 00:01:24.020 --> 00:01:25.230
  • Five, six?
  • 00:01:25.230 --> 00:01:26.280
  • - No, like three four, like very young.
  • 00:01:26.280 --> 00:01:28.210
  • - [Voiceover] Oh my.
  • 00:01:28.210 --> 00:01:30.050
  • - I wasn't until after I had sex, after I lost my virginity.
  • 00:01:30.050 --> 00:01:33.090
  • - [Voiceover] Yeah.
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  • - Like the floodgates opened.
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  • - [Voiceover] Right.
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  • - So.
  • 00:01:36.070 --> 00:01:37.050
  • - Wow, that's interesting.
  • 00:01:37.050 --> 00:01:37.290
  • - Yeah like--
  • 00:01:37.290 --> 00:01:38.270
  • - Yeah, you opened the door.
  • 00:01:38.270 --> 00:01:40.040
  • - You open yourself to so many things
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  • because making that choice, one I made that choice,
  • 00:01:41.180 --> 00:01:43.090
  • it was so much easier to say oh you know,
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  • this isn't so bad or--
  • 00:01:44.240 --> 00:01:46.090
  • - [Voiceover] Now was that someone of the same sex
  • 00:01:46.090 --> 00:01:47.030
  • or opposite sex?
  • 00:01:47.030 --> 00:01:47.250
  • - Opposite sex.
  • 00:01:47.250 --> 00:01:48.150
  • - Opposite sex.
  • 00:01:48.150 --> 00:01:49.050
  • - Opposite sex.
  • 00:01:49.050 --> 00:01:49.210
  • - Okay.
  • 00:01:49.210 --> 00:01:50.190
  • - And this was in high school.
  • 00:01:50.190 --> 00:01:51.130
  • - Okay.
  • 00:01:51.130 --> 00:01:52.110
  • - And then you know, after that,
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  • after you know that relationship ended,
  • 00:01:55.010 --> 00:01:56.180
  • I was really just focused on marshal arts and training.
  • 00:01:56.180 --> 00:01:59.050
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:01:59.050 --> 00:02:00.180
  • - And then I met a student, someone that I was
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  • actually working with, and we just, we were friends.
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  • - Right.
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  • - So we spent a lot of time together,
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  • we went out together.
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  • But you know, she knew that I was not about that lifestyle.
  • 00:02:09.100 --> 00:02:11.210
  • I mean, when--
  • 00:02:11.210 --> 00:02:12.140
  • - But was she?
  • 00:02:12.140 --> 00:02:13.080
  • - Yeah, she was.
  • 00:02:13.080 --> 00:02:14.040
  • - Okay.
  • 00:02:14.040 --> 00:02:14.270
  • - She was.
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  • - Oh so she turned you out?
  • 00:02:15.250 --> 00:02:16.230
  • - Yes.
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  • (laughter)
  • 00:02:17.140 --> 00:02:19.160
  • - She did, she did.
  • 00:02:19.160 --> 00:02:20.260
  • - Is that the terminology that they use?
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  • So if this is really like something that you're born with,
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  • how you gonna get turned out?
  • 00:02:26.070 --> 00:02:27.090
  • - That's what this show is gonna be about.
  • 00:02:31.240 --> 00:02:33.060
  • A followup of what we discussed
  • 00:02:33.060 --> 00:02:37.130
  • in that particular segment.
  • 00:02:37.130 --> 00:02:40.040
  • I believe you need to see the continuation
  • 00:02:40.040 --> 00:02:44.120
  • of the transformation of this young lady's life.
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  • And she's like a daughter of ours.
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  • Well she is our daughter and we love her--
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  • - We kidnapped her.
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  • - Yeah, yeah, her parents are the bestest
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  • and we just love her dearly.
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  • And she is here today
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  • and I'm happy to have her here.
  • 00:03:02.190 --> 00:03:05.140
  • Nyjah. - [DeeDee] Yes.
  • 00:03:05.140 --> 00:03:06.260
  • - [Mike] How art thou baby?
  • 00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:09.090
  • - I'm great, thank you.
  • 00:03:09.090 --> 00:03:10.240
  • - Yes, you look so beautiful.
  • 00:03:10.240 --> 00:03:12.050
  • - Thank you, thank you.
  • 00:03:12.050 --> 00:03:13.190
  • - We are so excited that you are here!
  • 00:03:13.190 --> 00:03:16.130
  • So wait, I would like to know,
  • 00:03:16.130 --> 00:03:18.050
  • how has it been going since you know,
  • 00:03:18.050 --> 00:03:21.070
  • really appeared here in the show last.
  • 00:03:21.070 --> 00:03:24.020
  • - Life has been grand.
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  • Since I appeared last on the show I was engaged.
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  • Recently married, will be six months next week.
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  • - [DeeDee] I love it.
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  • - That's why you all have to stay tuned
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  • 'cause we have her husband here.
  • 00:03:37.110 --> 00:03:39.260
  • She let the cat out the bag a little prematurely.
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  • - We gonna talk to him.
  • 00:03:42.170 --> 00:03:43.230
  • - And we will wanna talk to him as well.
  • 00:03:43.230 --> 00:03:46.100
  • Have you received people
  • 00:03:46.100 --> 00:03:51.060
  • saying anything to you about this show?
  • 00:03:53.030 --> 00:03:55.140
  • What have the comments been like?
  • 00:03:55.140 --> 00:03:58.010
  • Maybe possibly the negative stuff?
  • 00:03:58.010 --> 00:04:01.200
  • - Well, as far as negativity, I haven't had anyone
  • 00:04:02.150 --> 00:04:04.190
  • to reach out and say that,
  • 00:04:04.190 --> 00:04:06.220
  • by appearing on the show and sharing my story
  • 00:04:06.220 --> 00:04:09.040
  • that there was anything negative that was said.
  • 00:04:09.040 --> 00:04:12.050
  • - Okay, even from the community at large?
  • 00:04:12.050 --> 00:04:15.100
  • - Even from the community I was very surprised
  • 00:04:15.100 --> 00:04:17.140
  • because I'm not 100% sure if they were exposed
  • 00:04:17.140 --> 00:04:20.180
  • and got an opportunity to see the show if they heard.
  • 00:04:20.180 --> 00:04:23.000
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:24.140
  • - But after the show I had people I hadn't spoken to
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  • in almost two years to kind of reach out
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  • and to start liking posts or congratulating me on things.
  • 00:04:30.030 --> 00:04:34.050
  • - So it got all on the social media outlets,
  • 00:04:34.050 --> 00:04:36.070
  • snapchat, all of that and friends?
  • 00:04:36.070 --> 00:04:39.260
  • - [Nyjah] And friends.
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  • - From the past with--
  • 00:04:41.020 --> 00:04:42.210
  • - Yes, friends from the lifestyle.
  • 00:04:42.210 --> 00:04:44.200
  • And I had people who would share segments
  • 00:04:44.200 --> 00:04:47.010
  • of the video or would post pictures
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  • to kind of give a little description of you know,
  • 00:04:49.140 --> 00:04:51.190
  • what they took away from the show.
  • 00:04:51.190 --> 00:04:53.200
  • And I had some of them who actually
  • 00:04:53.200 --> 00:04:55.050
  • liking some of the posts and videos that they were sharing.
  • 00:04:55.050 --> 00:04:58.100
  • - Now inquiring minds want to know.
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  • What were the comments like to you?
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  • Were they happy for you, good to you?
  • 00:05:05.100 --> 00:05:08.030
  • Because it's been my understanding
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  • that you become a traitor,
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  • a backslider,
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  • a not really committed to the lifestyle.
  • 00:05:17.030 --> 00:05:22.030
  • You understand what I mean?
  • 00:05:23.030 --> 00:05:24.060
  • - I understand what you're saying.
  • 00:05:24.060 --> 00:05:25.130
  • - Is there specific terminology for those
  • 00:05:25.130 --> 00:05:28.270
  • who turn back around?
  • 00:05:28.270 --> 00:05:31.070
  • I say backsliders.
  • 00:05:31.070 --> 00:05:32.200
  • - Right.
  • 00:05:32.200 --> 00:05:33.130
  • (everyone laughs)
  • 00:05:33.130 --> 00:05:36.090
  • No, I wouldn't say there's necessarily like a terminology
  • 00:05:36.090 --> 00:05:38.270
  • when people say you know,
  • 00:05:38.270 --> 00:05:40.080
  • they weren't really about this life.
  • 00:05:40.080 --> 00:05:42.030
  • - [Mike] Right right.
  • 00:05:42.030 --> 00:05:43.030
  • - You were never really in it.
  • 00:05:43.030 --> 00:05:44.100
  • - [Nyjah] Yeah, you weren't really in or--
  • 00:05:44.100 --> 00:05:45.230
  • - Because if you're really in you'll never go back.
  • 00:05:45.230 --> 00:05:47.280
  • - Correct.
  • 00:05:47.280 --> 00:05:48.180
  • - [Mike] Okay.
  • 00:05:48.180 --> 00:05:49.250
  • - But once again, I didn't have anyone to
  • 00:05:50.130 --> 00:05:53.020
  • negatively post or anything publicly about it.
  • 00:05:53.020 --> 00:05:57.010
  • But when I first decided to make a decision
  • 00:05:57.010 --> 00:05:59.010
  • I did initially have people text me or called me,
  • 00:05:59.010 --> 00:06:03.110
  • you know, disagree with the decision that I decided to make.
  • 00:06:03.110 --> 00:06:07.080
  • But that was the initial phase,
  • 00:06:07.080 --> 00:06:08.220
  • and then there was a silence where I didn't really
  • 00:06:08.220 --> 00:06:11.010
  • hear anything from anyone.
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  • And there were still people that even
  • 00:06:13.200 --> 00:06:15.130
  • within their lifestyle that I still had
  • 00:06:15.130 --> 00:06:18.070
  • a friendship or relationship with that
  • 00:06:18.070 --> 00:06:20.140
  • I didn't hear anything from.
  • 00:06:20.140 --> 00:06:22.180
  • And because of the teachings,
  • 00:06:22.180 --> 00:06:26.000
  • and just another talking to my parents just saying
  • 00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:30.040
  • as you move forward there gonna be a lot of people
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  • who you may have even valued as friends
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  • who you're no longer gonna be in communication with.
  • 00:06:35.080 --> 00:06:37.260
  • And I was perfectly okay with that.
  • 00:06:37.260 --> 00:06:40.010
  • But after the show was aired, you know,
  • 00:06:40.010 --> 00:06:42.190
  • I had people who I hadn't heard from in years
  • 00:06:42.190 --> 00:06:44.240
  • who then kinda came back out and were like,
  • 00:06:44.240 --> 00:06:47.120
  • "Hey, how are you doing?"
  • 00:06:47.120 --> 00:06:49.030
  • Or even congratulating me on some of the
  • 00:06:49.030 --> 00:06:51.200
  • other success that I've had.
  • 00:06:51.200 --> 00:06:53.270
  • So it was interesting after the show aired
  • 00:06:53.270 --> 00:06:56.160
  • to get some feedback from them as well.
  • 00:06:56.160 --> 00:06:58.150
  • - Okay, but the support from your parents
  • 00:06:58.150 --> 00:07:01.150
  • was major for you or--
  • 00:07:01.150 --> 00:07:02.270
  • - It was major.
  • 00:07:02.270 --> 00:07:04.030
  • - Throughout the whole process I imagine.
  • 00:07:04.030 --> 00:07:05.070
  • - Throughout the entire process.
  • 00:07:05.070 --> 00:07:06.150
  • And I attribute having supportive parents
  • 00:07:06.150 --> 00:07:10.050
  • who were constantly praying for me.
  • 00:07:10.050 --> 00:07:12.220
  • - You have great parents. - [DeeDee] Great parents.
  • 00:07:12.220 --> 00:07:14.250
  • - [Mike] Great parents.
  • 00:07:14.250 --> 00:07:16.010
  • - I attribute the fact that I was able to
  • 00:07:16.010 --> 00:07:18.040
  • make that decision, and to get on the right path,
  • 00:07:18.040 --> 00:07:21.200
  • and to you know, to live the journey that God has for me.
  • 00:07:21.200 --> 00:07:25.270
  • I attribute that to the support of my parents.
  • 00:07:25.270 --> 00:07:28.200
  • And I know that that played a large role
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  • into me being able to make a firm decision
  • 00:07:30.290 --> 00:07:33.280
  • and to make the right decision.
  • 00:07:33.280 --> 00:07:36.030
  • - I don't wanna appear to be disrespectful,
  • 00:07:36.030 --> 00:07:39.120
  • but what's the community?
  • 00:07:39.120 --> 00:07:40.210
  • The L-G-B--
  • 00:07:40.210 --> 00:07:43.190
  • - The B-T community.
  • 00:07:43.190 --> 00:07:44.260
  • - Say it one more time.
  • 00:07:44.260 --> 00:07:45.260
  • - L-G-B-T Community.
  • 00:07:45.260 --> 00:07:47.080
  • - L-G-B-T Community.
  • 00:07:47.080 --> 00:07:48.190
  • I do apologize.
  • 00:07:48.190 --> 00:07:50.000
  • I don't intend to be disrespectful or anything.
  • 00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:53.280
  • So we talked about that community,
  • 00:07:53.280 --> 00:07:56.080
  • let's talk about the community of the church.
  • 00:07:56.080 --> 00:07:59.060
  • Did the church respond any positive way
  • 00:07:59.060 --> 00:08:02.270
  • or negative way, did you feel any kind of,
  • 00:08:02.270 --> 00:08:07.130
  • you know, shunning or resistance from--
  • 00:08:08.150 --> 00:08:11.040
  • - After change--
  • 00:08:11.040 --> 00:08:12.050
  • - Church people can be--
  • 00:08:12.050 --> 00:08:13.080
  • - Yeah, church people can be cruel.
  • 00:08:13.080 --> 00:08:14.270
  • - Yeah, yeah.
  • 00:08:14.270 --> 00:08:16.100
  • - Well, being a member of Spirit of Faith Christian Center,
  • 00:08:16.100 --> 00:08:20.080
  • you know, the members and the people that
  • 00:08:20.080 --> 00:08:21.290
  • I'm in contact with were all very positive.
  • 00:08:21.290 --> 00:08:24.250
  • Through the entire process, not just after I was
  • 00:08:24.250 --> 00:08:27.180
  • able to share my story, but even when I was
  • 00:08:27.180 --> 00:08:30.060
  • still in the life and I would come to church
  • 00:08:30.060 --> 00:08:33.250
  • I wasn't coming as frequently because a lot
  • 00:08:33.250 --> 00:08:36.020
  • of the guilt that I felt was self inflicted.
  • 00:08:36.020 --> 00:08:39.120
  • I felt a certain way.
  • 00:08:39.120 --> 00:08:41.020
  • But I believe that when I would come into church,
  • 00:08:41.020 --> 00:08:44.180
  • people were still very caring and wanted to know,
  • 00:08:44.180 --> 00:08:48.010
  • not like where have you been
  • 00:08:48.010 --> 00:08:50.070
  • and what are you doing with this.
  • 00:08:50.070 --> 00:08:51.200
  • I'm glad to see you here.
  • 00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:53.140
  • And that helped to kind of put away some of the fears
  • 00:08:53.140 --> 00:08:57.070
  • and different things like that.
  • 00:08:57.070 --> 00:08:58.240
  • - Can you still feel saved in the lifestyle?
  • 00:08:58.240 --> 00:09:03.080
  • - Yes.
  • 00:09:03.080 --> 00:09:04.060
  • - I don't know, where were you?
  • 00:09:04.060 --> 00:09:05.230
  • - Even within the lifestyle,
  • 00:09:05.230 --> 00:09:07.290
  • I still felt very much saved.
  • 00:09:07.290 --> 00:09:10.030
  • And it was always a constant mental battle
  • 00:09:10.030 --> 00:09:13.100
  • because when you're mixed up into
  • 00:09:13.100 --> 00:09:16.090
  • the fun of being out and being around
  • 00:09:17.110 --> 00:09:21.050
  • other people where you do share a lot
  • 00:09:21.050 --> 00:09:23.040
  • of similarities with or you can
  • 00:09:23.040 --> 00:09:25.110
  • relate to some of the stories and things that they have.
  • 00:09:25.110 --> 00:09:28.050
  • But then the entire time
  • 00:09:29.040 --> 00:09:30.120
  • the battle's always the Holy Spirit.
  • 00:09:30.120 --> 00:09:33.110
  • At the very beginning was probably the hardest
  • 00:09:35.180 --> 00:09:39.170
  • was because I was still very new within the lifestyle.
  • 00:09:39.170 --> 00:09:43.240
  • The Holy Spirit the entire time was talking to me.
  • 00:09:43.240 --> 00:09:45.240
  • So I knew that I was making a bad decision
  • 00:09:45.240 --> 00:09:49.150
  • or something that I knew better than.
  • 00:09:49.150 --> 00:09:51.140
  • - Come on. - [DeeDee] That's something.
  • 00:09:51.140 --> 00:09:52.170
  • - [Mike] What did you call that?
  • 00:09:52.170 --> 00:09:54.200
  • - Yeah, a cognitive dissonance.
  • 00:09:54.200 --> 00:09:56.260
  • - Dissonance?
  • 00:09:56.260 --> 00:09:57.250
  • - Uh huh, dissonance.
  • 00:09:57.250 --> 00:09:59.070
  • It's Cognitive dissonance.
  • 00:09:59.070 --> 00:10:00.210
  • It's like when you have two core values
  • 00:10:00.210 --> 00:10:03.050
  • or two things that you believe in, both of them are strong.
  • 00:10:03.050 --> 00:10:06.280
  • You come in with one belief and then you come in
  • 00:10:06.280 --> 00:10:10.070
  • with another belief that tries to trump the other.
  • 00:10:10.070 --> 00:10:13.150
  • And there is a war, a fight in your soul
  • 00:10:13.150 --> 00:10:16.120
  • that causes you to be just uncomfortable or not at ease.
  • 00:10:16.120 --> 00:10:20.070
  • And a lot of people become real stressful
  • 00:10:20.070 --> 00:10:22.170
  • and struggle during that time.
  • 00:10:22.170 --> 00:10:24.270
  • And a lot of people just withdraw.
  • 00:10:24.270 --> 00:10:26.290
  • Just say, "Okay, well I'll just accept this one."
  • 00:10:26.290 --> 00:10:29.270
  • It's like it's a war going on in your soul.
  • 00:10:29.270 --> 00:10:33.010
  • - I don't know if the church at large
  • 00:10:33.010 --> 00:10:36.070
  • is so loving in that respect where we
  • 00:10:36.070 --> 00:10:40.200
  • will embrace someone that has been a part of any
  • 00:10:40.200 --> 00:10:45.010
  • particular kind of proclivity
  • 00:10:45.010 --> 00:10:48.210
  • or that sin.
  • 00:10:48.210 --> 00:10:50.200
  • But to hear that at least people at the ministry
  • 00:10:50.200 --> 00:10:54.210
  • were good to you and you didn't feel
  • 00:10:54.210 --> 00:10:57.170
  • any certain type of way it thrills my heart.
  • 00:10:57.170 --> 00:11:00.110
  • My prayer is that the entire church would take on
  • 00:11:00.110 --> 00:11:03.260
  • that same kind of posture and position
  • 00:11:03.260 --> 00:11:06.100
  • and begin to embrace and love. - [DeeDee] Yes.
  • 00:11:06.100 --> 00:11:08.240
  • - [Mike] Forget about whatever community it happens to be.
  • 00:11:08.240 --> 00:11:11.200
  • The drug community, the theft community, the alcohol.
  • 00:11:11.200 --> 00:11:15.270
  • - But the church stays away from this subject.
  • 00:11:15.270 --> 00:11:18.260
  • Because I don't know if they really wanna say
  • 00:11:18.260 --> 00:11:21.210
  • either you were born this way,
  • 00:11:21.210 --> 00:11:23.170
  • or it was a choice.
  • 00:11:23.170 --> 00:11:25.220
  • We don't wanna come and say this is how it should be.
  • 00:11:25.220 --> 00:11:30.070
  • And so because nobody is strong enough
  • 00:11:30.070 --> 00:11:32.090
  • I think to deal with it,
  • 00:11:32.090 --> 00:11:33.270
  • or I wouldn't say just strong enough.
  • 00:11:33.270 --> 00:11:35.280
  • But nobody really wants to deal, don't wanna touch it.
  • 00:11:35.280 --> 00:11:38.210
  • It's a subject that everybody kinda stay from.
  • 00:11:38.210 --> 00:11:42.080
  • - So the process you took to change your thinking
  • 00:11:42.080 --> 00:11:45.110
  • about all of this.
  • 00:11:45.110 --> 00:11:47.060
  • Let's hear about that because it
  • 00:11:47.060 --> 00:11:50.040
  • led on to a guy
  • 00:11:50.040 --> 00:11:53.010
  • who had been looking at you
  • 00:11:53.010 --> 00:11:55.230
  • for a very long time.
  • 00:11:55.230 --> 00:11:58.080
  • And I'm intrigued by this young man.
  • 00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:01.210
  • - Ooh, we attended the wedding.
  • 00:12:01.210 --> 00:12:03.080
  • - Yeah, and a matter of fact I officiated the wedding.
  • 00:12:03.080 --> 00:12:06.150
  • And he's like my son now.
  • 00:12:06.150 --> 00:12:08.190
  • I love him dearly so.
  • 00:12:08.190 --> 00:12:10.070
  • While he's thinking you are his wife,
  • 00:12:11.120 --> 00:12:14.220
  • you aren't thinking he is your husband.
  • 00:12:14.220 --> 00:12:17.210
  • - [DeeDee] At all. - At all.
  • 00:12:17.210 --> 00:12:18.290
  • - Okay, so talk about that whole process.
  • 00:12:18.290 --> 00:12:22.100
  • Now you're in the community,
  • 00:12:22.100 --> 00:12:24.170
  • you're with another woman.
  • 00:12:24.170 --> 00:12:26.210
  • How do you, you make a decision, I'm out.
  • 00:12:26.210 --> 00:12:30.130
  • And then he appears.
  • 00:12:30.130 --> 00:12:32.110
  • Tell me, I mean help me.
  • 00:12:32.110 --> 00:12:34.030
  • Help us.
  • 00:12:34.030 --> 00:12:34.290
  • - Yes.
  • 00:12:34.290 --> 00:12:35.280
  • - We all wanna know right now.
  • 00:12:35.280 --> 00:12:38.040
  • - And I've been asked the question you know,
  • 00:12:38.040 --> 00:12:40.020
  • how were you able to just
  • 00:12:40.020 --> 00:12:43.100
  • make a decision and just leave.
  • 00:12:43.100 --> 00:12:46.060
  • But I think with anything, once you make up your mind
  • 00:12:46.060 --> 00:12:49.060
  • and make a decision just like I made the decision,
  • 00:12:49.060 --> 00:12:51.110
  • this is the lifestyle that I'm gonna live.
  • 00:12:51.110 --> 00:12:53.150
  • And I live that lifestyle.
  • 00:12:53.150 --> 00:12:55.220
  • It was a choice and once you make a definite choice
  • 00:12:55.220 --> 00:12:58.110
  • you're going to go forward with that decision.
  • 00:12:58.110 --> 00:13:01.070
  • - Come on, I'm loving it. - [Nyjah] So once I made
  • 00:13:01.070 --> 00:13:02.160
  • - [Nyjah] the decision, the first person--
  • 00:13:02.160 --> 00:13:04.160
  • - Well why can't you get her as her trainer
  • 00:13:04.160 --> 00:13:06.270
  • to get her to make the decision--
  • 00:13:06.270 --> 00:13:08.180
  • - My soul, I ain't there, my soul, my soul.
  • 00:13:08.180 --> 00:13:11.220
  • - [Mike] That's the message she needs to hear.
  • 00:13:11.220 --> 00:13:14.050
  • Nyjah is also our trainer. - [DeeDee] Yes she is.
  • 00:13:15.070 --> 00:13:18.000
  • - [Mike] She primarily works with Dr. DeeDee
  • 00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:19.290
  • but when she comes over I'm a part of the bootleg crowd.
  • 00:13:19.290 --> 00:13:23.270
  • (everyone laughs)
  • 00:13:23.270 --> 00:13:26.040
  • So tell us about that now.
  • 00:13:26.040 --> 00:13:28.200
  • You made a decision.
  • 00:13:28.200 --> 00:13:29.290
  • - I made a decision.
  • 00:13:29.290 --> 00:13:31.120
  • The great thing is,
  • 00:13:31.120 --> 00:13:32.200
  • I'll go back to just the parental support.
  • 00:13:32.200 --> 00:13:34.230
  • At the time I had a studio in Washington D.C.
  • 00:13:34.230 --> 00:13:37.210
  • I'm a black belt in martial arts,
  • 00:13:37.210 --> 00:13:39.270
  • and I had the very first women and children's
  • 00:13:39.270 --> 00:13:43.110
  • only mixed martial arts studio.
  • 00:13:43.110 --> 00:13:45.080
  • And one thing that my mom did was
  • 00:13:45.080 --> 00:13:48.020
  • she went to all of my classes.
  • 00:13:48.020 --> 00:13:50.030
  • And my mom went from not working out ever
  • 00:13:50.030 --> 00:13:52.160
  • to like two a days, she would work out with me
  • 00:13:52.160 --> 00:13:54.200
  • at 6 am, she would come back and do the 7 pm class.
  • 00:13:54.200 --> 00:13:57.290
  • - While you were still
  • 00:13:57.290 --> 00:13:59.080
  • in the lifestyle? - [Nyjah] While I was still
  • 00:13:59.080 --> 00:14:00.070
  • - [Nyjah] in the lifestyle.
  • 00:14:00.070 --> 00:14:01.200
  • - But it wasn't because she wanted to go to the class,
  • 00:14:01.200 --> 00:14:03.200
  • you know that.
  • 00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:04.170
  • - Yeah, yeah, right.
  • 00:14:04.170 --> 00:14:05.290
  • - [DeeDee] She was determined to go after her baby.
  • 00:14:05.290 --> 00:14:06.270
  • - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
  • 00:14:06.270 --> 00:14:07.290
  • - And she told me that.
  • 00:14:07.290 --> 00:14:09.000
  • And when she came, the thing is,
  • 00:14:09.000 --> 00:14:11.060
  • my mom never you know, was intrusive,
  • 00:14:11.060 --> 00:14:14.080
  • or when she was with me that wasn't
  • 00:14:14.080 --> 00:14:17.250
  • our conversation unless I opened it up
  • 00:14:17.250 --> 00:14:19.240
  • for us to talk about that.
  • 00:14:19.240 --> 00:14:21.250
  • We would just spend time together.
  • 00:14:21.250 --> 00:14:23.150
  • And I think it helped to reestablish our relationship.
  • 00:14:23.150 --> 00:14:26.210
  • And to really become friends again.
  • 00:14:26.210 --> 00:14:29.280
  • - Okay, I need to know,
  • 00:14:29.280 --> 00:14:31.050
  • would your other significant
  • 00:14:31.050 --> 00:14:34.160
  • be with you all sometimes?
  • 00:14:34.160 --> 00:14:35.190
  • - Yes.
  • 00:14:35.190 --> 00:14:36.240
  • My mom would go out - [Mike] Really?
  • 00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:38.080
  • - [Nyjah] and we would go - [Mike] Really, really, really?
  • 00:14:38.080 --> 00:14:39.140
  • - [Nyjah] and get something to eat
  • 00:14:39.140 --> 00:14:40.260
  • or one time my mom invited us to go to a play.
  • 00:14:40.260 --> 00:14:44.030
  • And I was actually unable to go but my mom
  • 00:14:44.030 --> 00:14:46.150
  • and then one of her girlfriends,
  • 00:14:46.150 --> 00:14:48.240
  • and at the time the young lady, they all went out.
  • 00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:52.290
  • And my mom said it was just an opportunity to minister.
  • 00:14:52.290 --> 00:14:57.130
  • But it's not overbearing.
  • 00:14:57.130 --> 00:14:59.280
  • Her personality is - [Mike] Absolutely, absolutely.
  • 00:14:59.280 --> 00:15:01.020
  • a overbearing.
  • 00:15:01.020 --> 00:15:02.140
  • - It was the wisdom of God.
  • 00:15:03.170 --> 00:15:05.090
  • - She's gonna be exactly who she's gonna be,
  • 00:15:05.090 --> 00:15:07.240
  • and if you open up for a discussion,
  • 00:15:07.240 --> 00:15:10.090
  • she's gonna tell you exactly what she's thinking.
  • 00:15:10.090 --> 00:15:12.180
  • But I appreciate the fact that when we were together,
  • 00:15:12.180 --> 00:15:15.090
  • it wasn't her saying "Like this is wrong,
  • 00:15:15.090 --> 00:15:18.110
  • "you shouldn't do this, and this is why."
  • 00:15:18.110 --> 00:15:20.100
  • - Do you think that would have been
  • 00:15:20.100 --> 00:15:22.070
  • a good approach?
  • 00:15:22.070 --> 00:15:23.160
  • - I really don't think so.
  • 00:15:23.160 --> 00:15:24.250
  • - [Mike] She would have run you--
  • 00:15:24.250 --> 00:15:25.290
  • - She would have run me away.
  • 00:15:25.290 --> 00:15:27.040
  • Because at the time, that's not what
  • 00:15:27.040 --> 00:15:29.160
  • I really wanted to hear. - [DeeDee] Oh you are helping
  • 00:15:29.160 --> 00:15:30.190
  • - [DeeDee] some parents today.
  • 00:15:30.190 --> 00:15:31.240
  • - That's why you, this is so good.
  • 00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:34.120
  • You need to really - [DeeDee] This is so good!
  • 00:15:34.120 --> 00:15:36.190
  • - [Mike] call someone and tell 'em about Nyjah's story.
  • 00:15:36.190 --> 00:15:40.090
  • - TiVo this show. - [Mike] This is a book.
  • 00:15:40.090 --> 00:15:42.160
  • - Yeah, she's working on one.
  • 00:15:42.160 --> 00:15:44.020
  • She's working on how to help parents
  • 00:15:44.020 --> 00:15:46.040
  • to you know, help their children.
  • 00:15:46.040 --> 00:15:48.190
  • It's gonna be good, it's gonna be good.
  • 00:15:48.190 --> 00:15:50.240
  • - Come on girl.
  • 00:15:50.240 --> 00:15:52.090
  • Wow, so,
  • 00:15:52.090 --> 00:15:52.200
  • Wow, so,
  • 00:15:52.200 --> 00:15:54.230
  • you make a decision.
  • 00:15:54.230 --> 00:15:56.040
  • - [Nyjah] I make a decision.
  • 00:15:56.040 --> 00:15:57.090
  • - Mom is there to support you.
  • 00:15:57.090 --> 00:15:59.040
  • - [Nyjah] Yes.
  • 00:15:59.040 --> 00:16:00.040
  • - Dad is there to support you.
  • 00:16:00.040 --> 00:16:01.070
  • - Yes.
  • 00:16:01.070 --> 00:16:02.050
  • - [Mike] Do whatever it takes.
  • 00:16:02.050 --> 00:16:03.170
  • They didn't abandon you - [Nyjah] Nope, not at all.
  • 00:16:03.170 --> 00:16:04.290
  • - [Mike] and kick you to the curb.
  • 00:16:04.290 --> 00:16:06.260
  • And so you're out of the lifestyle now.
  • 00:16:06.260 --> 00:16:09.170
  • - Out of the lifestyle.
  • 00:16:09.170 --> 00:16:10.150
  • - And how do you come to know?
  • 00:16:10.150 --> 00:16:13.150
  • What happened?
  • 00:16:13.150 --> 00:16:15.050
  • Lead us up to Joe.
  • 00:16:15.050 --> 00:16:16.250
  • 'Cause we gotta take a break,
  • 00:16:16.250 --> 00:16:18.060
  • we gotta take a break. - [DeeDee] We're gonna take
  • 00:16:18.060 --> 00:16:19.040
  • - [DeeDee] a break in a moment.
  • 00:16:19.040 --> 00:16:20.170
  • So maybe we should come back and finish that question.
  • 00:16:20.170 --> 00:16:21.220
  • - No, I want her to say something now.
  • 00:16:21.220 --> 00:16:23.170
  • - One particular conversation I had with my dad
  • 00:16:24.130 --> 00:16:26.010
  • after I decided I wasn't dating or talking,
  • 00:16:26.010 --> 00:16:29.210
  • you know, going out with anyone
  • 00:16:29.210 --> 00:16:31.260
  • for at least about about a year and a half.
  • 00:16:31.260 --> 00:16:33.230
  • And I talked to my dad one day and he says,
  • 00:16:33.230 --> 00:16:36.090
  • "You know, do you wanna be married one day?"
  • 00:16:36.090 --> 00:16:39.240
  • And he says, "Well, because everyone
  • 00:16:39.240 --> 00:16:41.090
  • "doesn't have to be married.
  • 00:16:41.090 --> 00:16:42.270
  • "So I don't want you think it's any pressure
  • 00:16:42.270 --> 00:16:44.050
  • "for you to get married."
  • 00:16:44.050 --> 00:16:45.130
  • He's like, "But is that something you wanna do?
  • 00:16:45.130 --> 00:16:47.190
  • "Do you wanna be married, do you wanna have a family?"
  • 00:16:47.190 --> 00:16:49.130
  • I say, "Yeah in the future that's definitely
  • 00:16:49.130 --> 00:16:50.190
  • "something I wanna do."
  • 00:16:50.190 --> 00:16:51.240
  • My dad said, "Well have you ever prayed
  • 00:16:51.240 --> 00:16:53.120
  • "and asked God exactly for what you want?"
  • 00:16:53.120 --> 00:16:55.190
  • - Okay, stop right there, stop right there.
  • 00:16:55.190 --> 00:16:57.210
  • We're gonna stop right there, that is exciting.
  • 00:16:58.200 --> 00:17:02.040
  • Asking God for exactly what you want.
  • 00:17:02.040 --> 00:17:05.280
  • We'll be right back.
  • 00:17:05.280 --> 00:17:07.060
  • And we will be able to meet her husband.
  • 00:17:07.060 --> 00:17:07.230
  • do you believe that sex should be reserved for marriage?
  • 00:17:10.250 --> 00:17:13.140
  • - Oh goodness.
  • 00:17:13.140 --> 00:17:17.030
  • - Well, according to the Bible
  • 00:17:17.030 --> 00:17:17.210
  • - Well, according to the Bible
  • 00:17:17.240 --> 00:17:19.090
  • it should be, but you have to be realistic
  • 00:17:19.090 --> 00:17:22.070
  • about it today.
  • 00:17:22.070 --> 00:17:23.140
  • about it today.
  • 00:17:23.140 --> 00:17:24.120
  • It's not...For those who can and want to,
  • 00:17:24.120 --> 00:17:28.010
  • I applaud you.
  • 00:17:28.010 --> 00:17:29.250
  • And then there are others who cannot, so.
  • 00:17:29.250 --> 00:17:33.070
  • - [Voiceover] Do you believe that sex
  • 00:17:33.120 --> 00:17:34.030
  • should be reserved for marriage?
  • 00:17:34.030 --> 00:17:35.190
  • - I'mma say no.
  • 00:17:39.240 --> 00:17:41.000
  • - [Voiceover] Why?
  • 00:17:41.240 --> 00:17:42.240
  • - I don't equate the two.
  • 00:17:45.140 --> 00:17:47.160
  • So, I don't necessarily think that the two
  • 00:17:48.210 --> 00:17:50.250
  • have anything to do with each other.
  • 00:17:50.250 --> 00:17:52.090
  • But I do know this, I know somebody who waited,
  • 00:17:52.090 --> 00:17:54.070
  • and they got a divorce, so I don't necessarily think that
  • 00:17:54.070 --> 00:17:57.070
  • waiting assures your lifetime partner,
  • 00:17:58.110 --> 00:18:02.050
  • or whatever it is.
  • 00:18:02.050 --> 00:18:03.230
  • Honestly, I don't think it's that big of a deal.
  • 00:18:03.230 --> 00:18:04.180
  • I think it's a personal preference,
  • 00:18:04.180 --> 00:18:06.260
  • I mean if you want to engage in intercourse
  • 00:18:06.260 --> 00:18:10.150
  • before marriage, you should be able to.
  • 00:18:10.150 --> 00:18:14.090
  • sex being reserved for marriage?
  • 00:18:14.130 --> 00:18:14.240
  • - I think it's a great idea,
  • 00:18:15.030 --> 00:18:16.160
  • and that's what it says in the Bible.
  • 00:18:16.160 --> 00:18:19.110
  • I feel like it's a sacred thing.
  • 00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:22.170
  • I feel like in the Bible, that's what it's meant for.
  • 00:18:22.170 --> 00:18:25.140
  • For sex to be held out 'til marriage.
  • 00:18:25.280 --> 00:18:28.080
  • Because I feel like it's a special thing that
  • 00:18:28.080 --> 00:18:30.030
  • it should be held with.
  • 00:18:30.030 --> 00:18:31.010
  • Not with a whole rack of people.
  • 00:18:31.010 --> 00:18:32.080
  • But that one person, you know what I mean?
  • 00:18:32.080 --> 00:18:33.260
  • - Yeah, yeah. Especially nowadays.
  • 00:18:33.260 --> 00:18:35.170
  • There's a lot of diseases.
  • 00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:36.290
  • All that kind of stuff out here now.
  • 00:18:36.290 --> 00:18:38.240
  • I feel like nowadays it's given out like candy.
  • 00:18:40.050 --> 00:18:42.100
  • I feel like nowadays it's given out like candy.
  • 00:18:42.100 --> 00:18:42.230
  • You know what I mean?
  • 00:18:42.270 --> 00:18:43.180
  • It's just easy to get,
  • 00:18:43.180 --> 00:18:45.000
  • and the value of it is just kind of deteriorating.
  • 00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:48.090
  • I feel like you should wait
  • 00:18:49.050 --> 00:18:50.060
  • because it makes it more special.
  • 00:18:50.060 --> 00:18:51.260
  • It makes the connection more special.
  • 00:18:51.260 --> 00:18:53.080
  • It makes everything more special for that one person.
  • 00:18:53.080 --> 00:18:56.190
  • But, nowadays, it's just going downhill.
  • 00:18:58.020 --> 00:19:01.150
  • You can go anywhere and get any.
  • 00:19:01.150 --> 00:19:04.040
  • You know what I mean?
  • 00:19:04.040 --> 00:19:05.090
  • That's just, yeah.
  • 00:19:05.090 --> 00:19:06.100
  • - I believe as an institution it is not
  • 00:19:06.100 --> 00:19:07.290
  • pushed as much towards people,
  • 00:19:09.000 --> 00:19:10.210
  • especially in a lot of our communities.
  • 00:19:11.060 --> 00:19:12.290
  • Even in my church now where I go,
  • 00:19:13.160 --> 00:19:15.100
  • and I love my church,
  • 00:19:15.100 --> 00:19:16.200
  • it seems as though it's almost accepted
  • 00:19:17.110 --> 00:19:19.040
  • that people no longer kind of live that style
  • 00:19:19.040 --> 00:19:22.080
  • of a lifestyle more or less,
  • 00:19:22.080 --> 00:19:23.280
  • or make those lifestyle choices early.
  • 00:19:23.280 --> 00:19:25.260
  • but I think, you know,
  • 00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:28.110
  • we have to teach the kids when they're very young
  • 00:19:28.110 --> 00:19:31.100
  • so they can learn the value that
  • 00:19:31.100 --> 00:19:33.250
  • how much that preserve it until marry.
  • 00:19:33.250 --> 00:19:38.120
  • - I guess I really don't care.
  • 00:19:38.120 --> 00:19:39.150
  • - I guess I really don't care.
  • 00:19:39.150 --> 00:19:40.250
  • It depends on the individual's choice.
  • 00:19:40.250 --> 00:19:43.140
  • - I think it's a noble goal maybe,
  • 00:19:43.140 --> 00:19:46.190
  • but probably not practical (laughs).
  • 00:19:46.190 --> 00:19:47.290
  • but probably not practical (laughs).
  • 00:19:47.290 --> 00:19:49.100
  • - [Voiceover] Do you think it's important to raise children
  • 00:19:49.100 --> 00:19:51.020
  • in abstinence, teaching them abstinence?
  • 00:19:51.020 --> 00:19:53.190
  • - I think that they should know that that's a choice
  • 00:19:53.190 --> 00:19:55.100
  • that they can make, a safe choice (laughs).
  • 00:19:55.100 --> 00:19:57.250
  • - How do I feel about sex being reserved...
  • 00:19:58.130 --> 00:20:01.000
  • I think it's a good thing.
  • 00:20:01.000 --> 00:20:02.280
  • - And may I ask, why?
  • 00:20:03.040 --> 00:20:06.200
  • It will keep marriage spicy.
  • 00:20:06.200 --> 00:20:09.290
  • Keep you with the unknown.
  • 00:20:09.290 --> 00:20:11.170
  • The unknown is fun!
  • 00:20:11.170 --> 00:20:13.080
  • - [Voiceover] First question, how do you feel about
  • 00:20:14.160 --> 00:20:15.140
  • sex being reserved for marriage?
  • 00:20:15.140 --> 00:20:17.050
  • - I feel fine with it.
  • 00:20:17.050 --> 00:20:19.230
  • It depends on the couple, cause everybody ain't with that.
  • 00:20:22.070 --> 00:20:26.030
  • Personally, I don't think I would,
  • 00:20:26.030 --> 00:20:30.180
  • but I respect those who would.
  • 00:20:30.180 --> 00:20:33.040
  • You know, it's a good idea to wait,
  • 00:20:33.040 --> 00:20:36.020
  • that way you pretty much know what you're getting.
  • 00:20:36.020 --> 00:20:39.100
  • - [Voiceover] Do you believe that it's important
  • 00:20:39.100 --> 00:20:40.180
  • to teach children abstinence before time?
  • 00:20:40.180 --> 00:20:44.090
  • - I think it's a good idea to teach kids abstinence,
  • 00:20:44.090 --> 00:20:46.140
  • at least put forth the effort,
  • 00:20:46.140 --> 00:20:48.180
  • because there's a lot going against them today.
  • 00:20:48.180 --> 00:20:51.230
  • - You know as blood bought, blood washed,
  • 00:20:54.220 --> 00:20:57.090
  • children of the most high God,
  • 00:20:57.090 --> 00:20:59.120
  • we have literally given Jesus the right
  • 00:20:59.120 --> 00:21:03.020
  • to become Lord of our lives.
  • 00:21:03.020 --> 00:21:05.270
  • In other words, when you do that,
  • 00:21:05.270 --> 00:21:08.190
  • you forfeit the right to life on your own.
  • 00:21:08.190 --> 00:21:12.180
  • I can't choose what I want to do in life,
  • 00:21:12.180 --> 00:21:16.120
  • even though I have a free will,
  • 00:21:16.120 --> 00:21:18.030
  • as making Him as I have made Him the Lord of my life,
  • 00:21:19.010 --> 00:21:23.240
  • I now want to subscribe to His views, His opinion,
  • 00:21:23.240 --> 00:21:28.010
  • His goals, His objectives, His ways of doing life.
  • 00:21:28.010 --> 00:21:33.010
  • He has established standards as it relates to the world,
  • 00:21:33.030 --> 00:21:37.280
  • as it relates to our lives.
  • 00:21:37.280 --> 00:21:40.000
  • So what you see here in all of those testimonies
  • 00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:45.000
  • is that the standard has been adjusted
  • 00:21:45.200 --> 00:21:48.250
  • to however they feel, however you feel
  • 00:21:48.250 --> 00:21:52.150
  • about a particular subject, even down to a good idea.
  • 00:21:52.150 --> 00:21:56.290
  • Well God doesn't just have good ideas for our lives,
  • 00:21:57.260 --> 00:22:01.200
  • He has what He has commanded us to do
  • 00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:05.170
  • to protect us in all of our ways.
  • 00:22:05.170 --> 00:22:08.160
  • When you get away from the standard of God,
  • 00:22:08.160 --> 00:22:11.270
  • which even the guy admitted, he loves his church,
  • 00:22:11.270 --> 00:22:15.150
  • but he doesn't even think that's something that's
  • 00:22:15.150 --> 00:22:17.290
  • really enforced in his church,
  • 00:22:17.290 --> 00:22:20.160
  • or even discussed to the degree
  • 00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:23.180
  • where this is what God is expecting.
  • 00:22:23.180 --> 00:22:26.260
  • I have raised virgin girls.
  • 00:22:27.270 --> 00:22:30.220
  • I had virgin girls, and they both decided,
  • 00:22:30.220 --> 00:22:34.220
  • based upon the standard.
  • 00:22:34.220 --> 00:22:36.010
  • And you're looking at someone who literally
  • 00:22:36.010 --> 00:22:39.290
  • didn't conduct the same goal.
  • 00:22:39.290 --> 00:22:42.280
  • I didn't accomplish that goal for my life,
  • 00:22:42.280 --> 00:22:46.190
  • and neither am I proud to say that.
  • 00:22:46.190 --> 00:22:50.190
  • And quite frankly, if you ask most people
  • 00:22:50.190 --> 00:22:53.040
  • whether or not they regret having sex before marriage,
  • 00:22:53.040 --> 00:22:57.100
  • most of them would say yes.
  • 00:22:57.100 --> 00:23:00.020
  • I mean if they were truly honest with themselves,
  • 00:23:00.020 --> 00:23:03.190
  • they would say yes about it.
  • 00:23:03.190 --> 00:23:06.010
  • So the same guy who did not accomplish that objective
  • 00:23:06.010 --> 00:23:10.160
  • or goal now implementing the standard
  • 00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:14.190
  • from the word of God, and literally
  • 00:23:14.190 --> 00:23:18.220
  • nurturing and guiding my daughters through that process.
  • 00:23:18.220 --> 00:23:23.220
  • They both were able to do it,
  • 00:23:23.290 --> 00:23:25.260
  • even with Breena, some of you already know her story.
  • 00:23:25.260 --> 00:23:29.240
  • I mean it went viral.
  • 00:23:29.240 --> 00:23:31.050
  • She presented a certificate of purity
  • 00:23:31.050 --> 00:23:34.200
  • after going to her GYN to literally be examined
  • 00:23:34.200 --> 00:23:39.200
  • to present that certificate to me.
  • 00:23:41.120 --> 00:23:44.030
  • I believe the standard has been reduced
  • 00:23:44.030 --> 00:23:46.270
  • is because the church has reduced the standard,
  • 00:23:46.270 --> 00:23:50.140
  • and sometimes unfortunately, we've embraced
  • 00:23:50.140 --> 00:23:53.280
  • the understanding of grace, but we've lessened
  • 00:23:53.280 --> 00:23:58.100
  • our hold on holiness.
  • 00:23:58.100 --> 00:24:00.260
  • So it's important as we hear different things
  • 00:24:00.260 --> 00:24:03.290
  • just like the word on the street,
  • 00:24:03.290 --> 00:24:06.120
  • we need to make sure we don't get away from
  • 00:24:06.120 --> 00:24:09.130
  • what God, the statutes, the laws of God,
  • 00:24:09.130 --> 00:24:14.000
  • the commandments of God concerning sex before marriage.
  • 00:24:14.000 --> 00:24:18.180
  • This happens to be not a good idea,
  • 00:24:18.180 --> 00:24:21.270
  • but a God idea.
  • 00:24:21.270 --> 00:24:23.150
  • - Let's go right back into our broadcast with Nyjah.
  • 00:24:24.100 --> 00:24:28.100
  • - I had my first sexual encounter with a woman.
  • 00:24:28.100 --> 00:24:28.140
  • So what exactly did you ask for?
  • 00:24:32.180 --> 00:24:34.160
  • - Well I prayed that God would
  • 00:24:34.160 --> 00:24:37.030
  • send someone to me who loved me for me.
  • 00:24:37.030 --> 00:24:40.060
  • - [Mike] Yeah.
  • 00:24:40.060 --> 00:24:41.020
  • - Despite my past.
  • 00:24:41.020 --> 00:24:42.190
  • - Was that a concern of yours?
  • 00:24:43.280 --> 00:24:45.020
  • - That was a concern.
  • 00:24:45.020 --> 00:24:46.090
  • That was a concern.
  • 00:24:46.090 --> 00:24:47.140
  • That was a concern for me.
  • 00:24:48.150 --> 00:24:49.180
  • - [Mike] Okay, wow.
  • 00:24:49.180 --> 00:24:50.250
  • - And I wanted someone of course who loved God,
  • 00:24:50.250 --> 00:24:54.070
  • had a relationship with God.
  • 00:24:54.070 --> 00:24:55.150
  • - Come on, come on.
  • 00:24:55.150 --> 00:24:56.180
  • - Who's family oriented.
  • 00:24:56.180 --> 00:24:58.130
  • And was also compassionate and goal driven.
  • 00:24:58.130 --> 00:25:02.110
  • And those were the primary things that I prayed for.
  • 00:25:02.110 --> 00:25:05.260
  • I just took a moment right then and there
  • 00:25:05.260 --> 00:25:07.120
  • to really think about that.
  • 00:25:07.120 --> 00:25:08.270
  • And at the time, my now husband,
  • 00:25:08.270 --> 00:25:11.240
  • he was not the person that I pictured in my mind.
  • 00:25:12.230 --> 00:25:14.250
  • - Tell 'em all about it.
  • 00:25:14.250 --> 00:25:16.000
  • And yeah, God had
  • 00:25:16.000 --> 00:25:18.040
  • sent him years ago. - [DeeDee] A long time ago.
  • 00:25:18.040 --> 00:25:20.200
  • - Years ago, we knew each other
  • 00:25:20.200 --> 00:25:23.090
  • through the studio that we train at.
  • 00:25:23.090 --> 00:25:25.010
  • But at the time--
  • 00:25:25.010 --> 00:25:26.010
  • - What do you train?
  • 00:25:26.010 --> 00:25:26.290
  • You said you're a black belt.
  • 00:25:26.290 --> 00:25:27.290
  • - I train Brazilian jiu-jitsu,
  • 00:25:27.290 --> 00:25:29.040
  • I'm a Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt.
  • 00:25:29.040 --> 00:25:30.090
  • I've been training martial arts for
  • 00:25:30.090 --> 00:25:31.080
  • a little over 20 years now.
  • 00:25:31.080 --> 00:25:32.140
  • - Wow.
  • 00:25:32.140 --> 00:25:33.160
  • - And at the time--
  • 00:25:33.160 --> 00:25:35.190
  • - So you started when you were two?
  • 00:25:35.190 --> 00:25:37.150
  • - No, I started when I was seven,
  • 00:25:37.150 --> 00:25:39.230
  • seven years old soon to be eight.
  • 00:25:39.230 --> 00:25:41.270
  • We met at the studio but he went off
  • 00:25:43.140 --> 00:25:45.050
  • to do football.
  • 00:25:45.050 --> 00:25:47.120
  • And we would only see each other in passing.
  • 00:25:47.120 --> 00:25:50.130
  • But he was always very nice.
  • 00:25:50.130 --> 00:25:52.010
  • I knew of his family and his siblings.
  • 00:25:52.010 --> 00:25:54.190
  • But once we got an opportunity to sit down and talk,
  • 00:25:54.190 --> 00:25:58.200
  • he told me since a little guy,
  • 00:25:58.200 --> 00:26:02.200
  • he was on me, was interested.
  • 00:26:02.200 --> 00:26:06.040
  • He told his friends and buddies he was
  • 00:26:06.040 --> 00:26:08.030
  • going to marry me.
  • 00:26:08.030 --> 00:26:10.000
  • - But did he know you were
  • 00:26:11.040 --> 00:26:13.150
  • in the lifestyle then while he was saying all of that?
  • 00:26:13.150 --> 00:26:17.050
  • - He knew that.
  • 00:26:17.050 --> 00:26:18.030
  • And when he found out, you know,
  • 00:26:18.030 --> 00:26:20.150
  • he said his beliefs didn't change.
  • 00:26:20.150 --> 00:26:22.020
  • He just said I'm still gonna marry her.
  • 00:26:22.020 --> 00:26:24.080
  • This is just a transition that she's going through.
  • 00:26:24.080 --> 00:26:27.110
  • And he had no doubt that we would be together.
  • 00:26:27.110 --> 00:26:29.270
  • - He said this is just a transition.
  • 00:26:29.270 --> 00:26:32.060
  • - Woo hoo hoo!
  • 00:26:32.060 --> 00:26:34.040
  • My kind of man.
  • 00:26:34.040 --> 00:26:35.170
  • - We are going to meet
  • 00:26:35.170 --> 00:26:38.230
  • Joseph Rollins in
  • 00:26:38.230 --> 00:26:41.260
  • our next show.
  • 00:26:42.270 --> 00:26:43.280
  • (everyone laughs)
  • 00:26:43.280 --> 00:26:45.220
  • I know, I know.
  • 00:26:45.220 --> 00:26:47.140
  • I do, I know.
  • 00:26:47.140 --> 00:26:49.010
  • You are not going to want to miss this meeting
  • 00:26:49.010 --> 00:26:53.230
  • with this husband of Nyjah.
  • 00:26:53.230 --> 00:26:57.070
  • Man, the whole story is going to be
  • 00:26:58.060 --> 00:27:00.070
  • absolutely inspiring and impactful.
  • 00:27:00.070 --> 00:27:04.040
  • - Stay tuned.
  • 00:27:05.050 --> 00:27:06.090
  • - Always remember, life is better
  • 00:27:06.090 --> 00:27:09.060
  • - [DeeDee and Mike] when you're living by faith.
  • 00:27:09.060 --> 00:27:11.120
  • - [Mike] We'll see you.
  • 00:27:11.120 --> 00:27:12.080
  • - Bye.
  • 00:27:12.080 --> 00:27:13.040
  • - Stop telling people you dated
  • 00:27:14.070 --> 00:27:16.120
  • this is the first time you dated out of your race.
  • 00:27:16.120 --> 00:27:18.150
  • You've always dated out of your race
  • 00:27:18.150 --> 00:27:20.090
  • cause none of them was mine, you know?
  • 00:27:20.090 --> 00:27:23.140
  • And, he was like I don't look at it that way Derek,
  • 00:27:24.270 --> 00:27:28.280
  • man does, you know?
  • 00:27:29.280 --> 00:27:32.030
  • I look at the qualifications through the kingdom.
  • 00:27:32.030 --> 00:27:34.190
  • - [Narrator] Tune in next week for Derek and Sophia Luke
  • 00:27:34.190 --> 00:27:37.160
  • as they share the secrets of their successful marriage
  • 00:27:37.160 --> 00:27:40.160
  • on Marriage Made Easy with Mike and...
  • 00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:42.160
  • - But how old were you?
  • 00:27:43.210 --> 00:27:44.120
  • - I was about 14.
  • 00:27:44.120 --> 00:27:45.210
  • - [Mike] 14. - [DeeDee] Wow.
  • 00:27:45.210 --> 00:27:47.080
  • - And I would always notice Nyjah
  • 00:27:47.080 --> 00:27:50.130
  • and I would look at her.
  • 00:27:50.130 --> 00:27:51.200
  • And I would have friends that I was really
  • 00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:53.030
  • close with at my martial arts academy
  • 00:27:53.030 --> 00:27:54.090
  • that I always talk to about Nyjah.
  • 00:27:54.090 --> 00:27:55.290
  • - Right, right, right.
  • 00:27:55.290 --> 00:27:57.110
  • - [Joe] You know, I'm gonna marry her one day.
  • 00:27:57.110 --> 00:27:58.290
  • - You were saying that then.
  • 00:27:58.290 --> 00:28:00.070
  • - Oh yeah, I was telling everyone.
  • 00:28:00.070 --> 00:28:02.160
  • Like when they knew, it came to points
  • 00:28:02.160 --> 00:28:03.290
  • where when I was in college,
  • 00:28:03.290 --> 00:28:06.120
  • they'll say or I'll ask how's my wife doing?
  • 00:28:06.120 --> 00:28:09.010
  • And I'm like, "She's here, she's still competing,
  • 00:28:09.010 --> 00:28:10.290
  • "she's still training."
  • 00:28:10.290 --> 00:28:11.280
  • - No way.
  • 00:28:11.280 --> 00:28:13.000
  • - I was in already.
  • 00:28:14.220 --> 00:28:16.070
  • - That is faith personified. - [DeeDee] Yeah that's great.
  • 00:28:16.220 --> 00:28:18.240
  • - [Mike] I love the whole faith walk.
  • 00:28:18.240 --> 00:28:19.060