Kill Yourself: The Family Meeting
November 2, 2016
28:31
Living by Faith with Mike & DeeDee Freeman
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Kill Yourself: The Family Meeting
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- spend some time with everybody together.
- 00:00:03.040 --> 00:00:03.070
- - "What do you do when a spouse does more
- 00:00:04.020 --> 00:00:06.230
- "for their family members than they do for you?"
- 00:00:06.230 --> 00:00:09.210
- (indistinct chatter from audience)
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- Oh Jesus.
- 00:00:13.110 --> 00:00:14.180
- - Right, and so after I got passed myself,
- 00:00:14.180 --> 00:00:17.240
- I was like okay.
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- - You know that's the prerequisite of following Christ?
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- Get past yourself.
- 00:00:24.270 --> 00:00:26.110
- - Why is your wife getting on your nerve?
- 00:01:05.260 --> 00:01:10.030
- Or why is your husband getting on your nerve?
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- I promise you, you don't wanna miss
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- this upcoming table talk discussion
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- with Dr. Dee Dee.
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- It's a reason why each other
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- are getting on each others nerves
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- and we're gon fix that today.
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- Don't leave from where you are.
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- a level of control implemented there.
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- And I never wanted her or even you in that respect
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- to feel like there's any control that I am
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- enforcing in your relationship.
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- That's why I've always made it clear to Keisha
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- and also Kevin that you're your own people.
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- And you have the right to make whatever decisions.
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- I on the other hand knowing some things
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- about life, and ministry, and handling domestic
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- issues and so forth and so on.
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- I can just share with you my two cent.
- 00:02:02.040 --> 00:02:05.060
- Advise is for two things to take or to leave.
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- And it would be entirely up to you
- 00:02:09.040 --> 00:02:11.010
- and I'm glad you made that clear.
- 00:02:11.010 --> 00:02:13.090
- Because I stand in the same premise with you in that.
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- I don't wanna just say do this and you do this.
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- But as one who's been under my authority,
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- as it relates to her destiny and her future,
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- I had her best interests at heart at that particular time.
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- When I give her hand to you in marriage, guess what?
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- That is cut off, you be the man at that time.
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- But I'll kill you if you mess up.
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- (audience laughs)
- 00:02:42.110 --> 00:02:44.050
- Now dig this, dig this.
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- We gotta also understand the weight of a man
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- and the weight of a man's voice.
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- And that's where you father's play such significant role
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- in the relationship because the weight of a woman
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- is like about 25 pounds compared to the weight
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- of a man who is about 500 pounds.
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- When a man speaks in an environment
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- it's more weightier than a woman speaking.
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- I promise you that.
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- My mama used to really exercise and enforce that,
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- and it registered in us.
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- She would just say "Wait til your daddy get home."
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- She coupled her weight with his weight
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- and it literally caused something to stand up in us
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- to respect and honor in a greater magnitude.
- 00:03:36.050 --> 00:03:39.200
- You two coming together with the weight that you possess
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- and what you say and do, it's gonna be an unstoppable force.
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- And it's not much I'm gonna have to tell ya.
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- But what I am saying to you,
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- like I would suggest to everybody here,
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- if you ever need me son, I'm right here with you
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- to give you my best.
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- Cause all mine is thine.
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- Everything I'm working for at this particular point
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- is for these people and their offsprings.
- 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:07.060
- I rest my case.
- 00:04:09.120 --> 00:04:10.260
- - I receive that. (audience applauds)
- 00:04:11.080 --> 00:04:12.190
- - That's my dude.
- 00:04:13.230 --> 00:04:14.240
- Come on Keisha, talk to me.
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- Keisha hasn't said a thing over there.
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- - [Keisha] Can you repeat - [Pastor] What your mama
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- - [Keisha] the question? - [Pastor] say about Josh.
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- - [Pastor] What did your mama say about Josh?
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- Was she opposed to him?
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- I mean or did you have the kind of relationship
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- with mama that she would
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- have the impact?
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- What kind of weight did she possess in your life?
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- Relative to your decision.
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- - Well Josh knows, it's been like me
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- and my mom my whole life.
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- So, she has impact in my choice.
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- So my mom did love Josh in the beginning.
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- She still does but. - [Pastor] In the beginning.
- 00:04:57.110 --> 00:04:59.040
- (everyone laughs)
- 00:04:59.040 --> 00:05:00.280
- - You know before you get married everything gets peachy,
- 00:05:00.280 --> 00:05:04.130
- and then you know you get married and you go through things,
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- but you make it through.
- 00:05:07.280 --> 00:05:09.050
- And yeah, she likes Josh she loves Josh.
- 00:05:09.050 --> 00:05:12.290
- - So, if she woulda said "Keisha, I don't think
- 00:05:13.140 --> 00:05:16.220
- "that's a good choice for you."
- 00:05:16.220 --> 00:05:18.130
- - [Josh] Tell the truth.
- 00:05:20.260 --> 00:05:21.240
- - I would of had to respect it.
- 00:05:21.280 --> 00:05:23.260
- But...
- 00:05:23.260 --> 00:05:25.010
- I may have tried to "Well ma you know
- 00:05:26.140 --> 00:05:30.000
- "he such and such." - [Pastor] Okay talk it.
- 00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:31.290
- That's typical, right right.
- 00:05:31.290 --> 00:05:33.040
- - So, I didn't have that problem but,
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- he's my choice.
- 00:05:37.040 --> 00:05:38.110
- I'm happy I made that choice.
- 00:05:38.110 --> 00:05:39.230
- - [Pastor] You sound so happy about it.
- 00:05:39.230 --> 00:05:42.060
- "He's my choice, I guess I gotta."
- 00:05:42.200 --> 00:05:45.030
- - [DeeDee] She said she happy with that choice.
- 00:05:45.270 --> 00:05:47.160
- - I know, I'm just playing.
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- Can't I play?
- 00:05:48.290 --> 00:05:50.060
- You know, I recently met with a young man,
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- and I don't mean to dominate this time.
- 00:06:00.210 --> 00:06:02.160
- Y'all jump in there.
- 00:06:02.160 --> 00:06:03.280
- But I recently met this young man he's 15 years old.
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- His mother just married a guy six years ago
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- and he can't stand his mother's choice.
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- What do you do?
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- Cause now you got a blended deal coming on.
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- And I sat and talked with her.
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- And she did not methodically, there was no strategy,
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- there was no plan.
- 00:06:27.190 --> 00:06:28.270
- She digged this dude, got involved with him,
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- didn't incorporate this cat
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- into her baby's flow.
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- And now he doesn't have much
- 00:06:38.190 --> 00:06:40.280
- to do with his stepfather.
- 00:06:40.280 --> 00:06:43.270
- I don't personally like the term stepfather.
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- I just like dad or whatever they choose
- 00:06:48.210 --> 00:06:51.070
- to call them, but stepfather.
- 00:06:51.070 --> 00:06:54.030
- (Pastor stutters)
- 00:06:54.080 --> 00:06:56.080
- Let's talk about that for a moment.
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- How do you get some one who's.
- 00:06:58.060 --> 00:07:01.010
- Because there are more blended families now
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- than the traditional.
- 00:07:04.010 --> 00:07:05.080
- - [DeeDee] Of course, and we gonna address
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- some of that kind of stuff probably in the family series.
- 00:07:06.250 --> 00:07:09.190
- But it's too many different dynamics for it.
- 00:07:09.190 --> 00:07:12.140
- That's too broad of a thing right there.
- 00:07:12.140 --> 00:07:16.000
- Because I need to know okay,
- 00:07:16.060 --> 00:07:17.200
- how's the mother treating the son now?
- 00:07:17.200 --> 00:07:19.220
- How is the stepfather treating the son.
- 00:07:19.220 --> 00:07:22.130
- You know, what kind of--
- 00:07:22.130 --> 00:07:23.240
- - She's guarding the son now.
- 00:07:23.240 --> 00:07:25.130
- - Yeah, so it's like why don't he like him?
- 00:07:25.130 --> 00:07:28.180
- You know, there's so many other things--
- 00:07:28.180 --> 00:07:30.090
- - I tell you what, you can narrow all of what I ask
- 00:07:30.090 --> 00:07:33.140
- by giving us some pointers for those who
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- are marrying people who have had kids
- 00:07:37.200 --> 00:07:41.200
- prior to them getting married.
- 00:07:41.200 --> 00:07:43.010
- - I think they should develop relationships
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- with the kids as well.
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- I do, I think--
- 00:07:46.220 --> 00:07:47.250
- - How?
- 00:07:47.250 --> 00:07:49.020
- - I don't know, spending time with each other.
- 00:07:49.020 --> 00:07:50.230
- - How?
- 00:07:50.230 --> 00:07:51.220
- - Go to the movies do something.
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- Go to dinner, sit down, have a family meeting.
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- You know involve them, because they are a part of it now.
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- Like you said, you're not just marrying the mom now.
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- You're marrying into this family
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- and you're becoming one unit.
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- I do believe that sometimes,
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- you as the adult though have to be the one
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- to decide or determine whether or not the child
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- is just having some kind of personal issues
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- and just not wanting you to be in a relationship.
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- Because they want you to be in a relationship
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- with the other parent.
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- You know, opposed to being in a relationship
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- with somebody new.
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- So it's just so many different dynamics in that to me.
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- I think that's so broad, but I do personally would say
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- spend some time with everybody together.
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- - "What do you do when a spouse does more
- 00:08:41.070 --> 00:08:44.020
- "for their family members than they do for you?"
- 00:08:44.020 --> 00:08:47.000
- (indistinct chatter from audience)
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- Oh Jesus.
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- Y'all are kinda one sided in that respect.
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- Yeah, you're one sided.
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- Because I always try to encourage you,
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- especially you Britney to go and to take
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- the baby's to Kevin's mom and dad's house.
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- And you always over at my house.
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- And I kinda feel like there's
- 00:09:26.110 --> 00:09:30.100
- no equality or balance in that.
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- And I don't know how his parents may feel about that.
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- So you may be doing more for your family
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- with respect to having your children around
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- in our environment and not giving them
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- the same kind of love.
- 00:09:48.010 --> 00:09:49.180
- - You know while you were making that point about
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- how now, I no longer get on your nerves
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- because you have made some decisions
- 00:10:03.090 --> 00:10:05.200
- to change and I love that.
- 00:10:05.200 --> 00:10:07.200
- I mean because that's evident.
- 00:10:07.200 --> 00:10:10.050
- You have definitely changed your position,
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- your disposition towards me
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- and with everybody in that regard.
- 00:10:17.150 --> 00:10:19.260
- But I was thinking, you know how we're always
- 00:10:19.260 --> 00:10:22.280
- talking about when your spouse has something
- 00:10:22.280 --> 00:10:27.110
- that they're encountering that you disagree with
- 00:10:27.110 --> 00:10:31.010
- or you are having challenges with,
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- how I can just pray about it and leave it alone.
- 00:10:32.250 --> 00:10:36.160
- There is something that I pray about you everyday.
- 00:10:36.160 --> 00:10:39.180
- That you would be even tempered,
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- that you would love me the way Christ loves the church,
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- and that you would be affectionate towards me,
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- that you would understand me.
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- These are things that I pray
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- and even when you are irritated with something that I do,
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- it would change your position on how you would treat me
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- and how you would feel.
- 00:10:59.230 --> 00:11:00.290
- - So, you're responsible for this change
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- that has taken place?
- 00:11:02.090 --> 00:11:03.230
- - Of course, I would like to say that you know women
- 00:11:03.230 --> 00:11:06.160
- - Pride
- 00:11:06.160 --> 00:11:07.200
- - Pride, pride, call it what you may
- 00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:09.100
- - How in God's name are you gonna take credit for that?
- 00:11:09.100 --> 00:11:12.210
- - However this transpired.
- 00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:16.070
- - Yeah, I'm not taking credit for that,
- 00:11:16.070 --> 00:11:18.010
- my whole point is this, it's like
- 00:11:18.010 --> 00:11:20.060
- you don't have to murmur and complain,
- 00:11:20.060 --> 00:11:23.170
- you don't have to get worked up,
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- you don't have to loose it,
- 00:11:25.220 --> 00:11:27.160
- all you have to do is trust God through this whole process.
- 00:11:27.160 --> 00:11:29.190
- - And watch and pray that, yeah.
- 00:11:29.190 --> 00:11:31.060
- You know because, it's like I can pray about some things
- 00:11:31.060 --> 00:11:34.080
- and I can leave it alone,
- 00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:36.010
- walk away from it and allow God to minister to your heart.
- 00:11:36.010 --> 00:11:39.120
- So, regardless of how you got there
- 00:11:39.120 --> 00:11:42.020
- - Right.
- 00:11:42.020 --> 00:11:43.000
- - You know, you've gotten there
- 00:11:43.000 --> 00:11:44.190
- and I wanted to use that as a point
- 00:11:44.190 --> 00:11:46.220
- to say OK, we don't have to just loose it all the time
- 00:11:46.220 --> 00:11:49.220
- when we don't agree, or when we get on each others nerves
- 00:11:49.220 --> 00:11:52.180
- or when we do stuff that irritate each other.
- 00:11:52.210 --> 00:11:56.040
- We can pray about it, leave it alone,
- 00:11:56.040 --> 00:11:58.260
- walk away from it and allow
- 00:11:58.260 --> 00:12:00.180
- Holy Spirit to do the work because ultimately
- 00:12:00.180 --> 00:12:03.150
- the Holy Spirit is the one.
- 00:12:03.150 --> 00:12:04.200
- - Well, if your prayers are that potent
- 00:12:04.200 --> 00:12:07.160
- and that powerful, why haven't you prayed about
- 00:12:07.160 --> 00:12:11.230
- not doing what you do to get on my nerves?
- 00:12:11.230 --> 00:12:15.010
- - Because
- 00:12:15.010 --> 00:12:16.040
- - We coulda reversed this two ways.
- 00:12:16.040 --> 00:12:17.030
- - Totally.
- 00:12:17.030 --> 00:12:18.140
- - God change his heart, no,
- 00:12:18.140 --> 00:12:20.290
- you pray about your own heart so that
- 00:12:20.290 --> 00:12:25.290
- you won't do the things you do
- 00:12:26.080 --> 00:12:28.230
- that were getting on my nerves.
- 00:12:28.230 --> 00:12:30.150
- - No, but it's not necessarily things that I was doing
- 00:12:30.150 --> 00:12:33.160
- that was getting on your nerves
- 00:12:33.160 --> 00:12:35.030
- it was the things that you expect to be done.
- 00:12:35.030 --> 00:12:37.170
- - And allowed.
- 00:12:37.170 --> 00:12:38.130
- - And allowed.
- 00:12:38.130 --> 00:12:39.160
- - Yeah
- 00:12:39.160 --> 00:12:40.270
- Because, just because somebody put the toothpaste
- 00:12:40.270 --> 00:12:42.260
- in a different spot doesn't mean that it was wrong
- 00:12:42.260 --> 00:12:47.030
- it was just that it irritated you
- 00:12:47.030 --> 00:12:48.220
- because that's not what you're accustomed too.
- 00:12:48.220 --> 00:12:50.120
- - And it's not my spot.
- 00:12:50.120 --> 00:12:51.180
- - And it's not your spot.
- 00:12:51.180 --> 00:12:52.230
- - Right.
- 00:12:52.230 --> 00:12:53.280
- - And so that's the whole pride thing
- 00:12:53.280 --> 00:12:55.030
- so it's like, OK, God let me just pray
- 00:12:55.030 --> 00:12:57.220
- that we can come together and get along
- 00:12:57.220 --> 00:13:00.020
- and have some type of agreement.
- 00:13:00.020 --> 00:13:02.220
- - And all you had to do was pray
- 00:13:02.220 --> 00:13:05.010
- for God to remind you to put the toothpaste in my spot.
- 00:13:05.010 --> 00:13:07.160
- - (laughing)
- 00:13:07.160 --> 00:13:08.110
- - (laughing)
- 00:13:08.110 --> 00:13:09.230
- - Well I don't know what got you there,
- 00:13:09.230 --> 00:13:11.240
- but I thank God that you're there.
- 00:13:11.240 --> 00:13:13.250
- - I am here.
- 00:13:13.250 --> 00:13:14.230
- - And you too can get there.
- 00:13:14.230 --> 00:13:16.210
- - Yeah, however you get there
- 00:13:16.210 --> 00:13:18.030
- whether you're praying about a situation
- 00:13:18.030 --> 00:13:20.170
- that your husband is doing
- 00:13:20.170 --> 00:13:22.180
- or you're praying about a situation for yourself.
- 00:13:22.180 --> 00:13:26.110
- Just like she mentioned, prayer will assist you
- 00:13:26.110 --> 00:13:30.290
- in changing everything you need to have changed.
- 00:13:30.290 --> 00:13:34.120
- It's just amazing and your lives will never be the same.
- 00:13:34.120 --> 00:13:37.250
- - It takes the struggle out.
- 00:13:37.250 --> 00:13:39.210
- - That's how marriage is made easy.
- 00:13:39.210 --> 00:13:41.120
- You gotta get our book too, it'll bless your life.
- 00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:43.130
- Amen.
- 00:13:43.130 --> 00:13:43.210
- in our environment and not giving them
- 00:13:50.200 --> 00:13:53.100
- the same kind of love.
- 00:13:53.100 --> 00:13:54.270
- Come on speak up lady.
- 00:13:56.010 --> 00:13:57.190
- Cause we used to do that.
- 00:13:58.160 --> 00:13:59.290
- My mom used to get real upset sometimes
- 00:14:00.050 --> 00:14:04.110
- because I was always over your house
- 00:14:04.110 --> 00:14:06.270
- with your family doing family things, holidays.
- 00:14:06.270 --> 00:14:10.050
- - [DeeDee] Well my mama would say
- 00:14:10.050 --> 00:14:12.220
- "Okay go to Mrs. Freeman house.
- 00:14:12.220 --> 00:14:14.180
- "Y'all get on outta here."
- 00:14:14.180 --> 00:14:16.020
- - Well you didn't listen to your mother that much.
- 00:14:16.020 --> 00:14:17.170
- - [DeeDee] Yes I did.
- 00:14:17.170 --> 00:14:18.200
- - No, we felt that way as well.
- 00:14:20.160 --> 00:14:24.060
- And because I am believe in God
- 00:14:24.060 --> 00:14:27.070
- for more family togetherness.
- 00:14:27.070 --> 00:14:29.130
- That's why we started going over there
- 00:14:29.130 --> 00:14:31.170
- at least two Sundays a month.
- 00:14:31.260 --> 00:14:33.110
- Like we alternate Sundays.
- 00:14:33.110 --> 00:14:35.030
- - I can't stand it but I understand.
- 00:14:35.090 --> 00:14:37.070
- - Right.
- 00:14:37.090 --> 00:14:38.160
- I was about to say cause you say go over there.
- 00:14:38.160 --> 00:14:39.280
- Then I'll be like "Well you know this their Sunday.
- 00:14:39.280 --> 00:14:42.030
- "What?!
- 00:14:42.030 --> 00:14:43.000
- "You just was with them!"
- 00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:44.210
- (everyone laughs)
- 00:14:44.210 --> 00:14:47.090
- But in doing that it has started to create
- 00:14:54.270 --> 00:14:59.210
- more family togetherness.
- 00:15:01.050 --> 00:15:02.260
- Like his mom is talking to me.
- 00:15:02.260 --> 00:15:04.200
- She smile when she see me now.
- 00:15:04.220 --> 00:15:06.160
- (audience laughs)
- 00:15:06.160 --> 00:15:08.090
- - Oh she was giving you some--
- 00:15:08.090 --> 00:15:09.190
- - [DeeDee] She's gonna see this show!
- 00:15:09.190 --> 00:15:11.120
- - No, she smile when she see me.
- 00:15:12.180 --> 00:15:14.140
- We play volleyball together Sunday.
- 00:15:14.140 --> 00:15:17.020
- And I binged the ball at her head
- 00:15:18.040 --> 00:15:20.010
- cause she's very competitive.
- 00:15:20.010 --> 00:15:21.290
- Wait, let me rewind this in case she see.
- 00:15:21.290 --> 00:15:24.170
- - Yeah.
- 00:15:24.170 --> 00:15:25.160
- - She's competitive and so am I.
- 00:15:26.220 --> 00:15:29.020
- And she was on the opposing team and she.
- 00:15:29.020 --> 00:15:31.130
- Have you ever played something with somebody
- 00:15:31.130 --> 00:15:33.230
- who talks so much trash that you just,
- 00:15:33.230 --> 00:15:36.210
- you wanted to win with everything in you.
- 00:15:37.010 --> 00:15:39.270
- - That's that boys mother baby.
- 00:15:39.270 --> 00:15:41.280
- (audience laughs)
- 00:15:41.280 --> 00:15:43.240
- - [Britney] Listen, anybody can get it okay.
- 00:15:43.240 --> 00:15:46.140
- His nephew was over there one time.
- 00:15:46.250 --> 00:15:49.000
- His nephew and his mother and I'm like
- 00:15:49.000 --> 00:15:50.270
- "I'm coming for both of y'all."
- 00:15:50.270 --> 00:15:52.200
- But no we had a lot of fun.
- 00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:54.230
- She squatted down, she looked at me
- 00:15:54.230 --> 00:15:57.080
- and she's like "I got you."
- 00:15:57.080 --> 00:15:58.110
- She got me a couple of times.
- 00:15:58.110 --> 00:15:59.170
- I was on the floor and she kinda laughed.
- 00:15:59.170 --> 00:16:01.170
- And was like "Girl all I hear is excuses
- 00:16:01.170 --> 00:16:03.140
- "coming out your mouth."
- 00:16:03.140 --> 00:16:05.010
- (everyone laughs)
- 00:16:05.010 --> 00:16:07.260
- But it was fun, it was fun.
- 00:16:09.070 --> 00:16:11.110
- She beat me.
- 00:16:11.110 --> 00:16:13.010
- - She beat you?
- 00:16:13.010 --> 00:16:14.000
- - She won.
- 00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:15.030
- Kevin was on her team.
- 00:16:15.210 --> 00:16:17.080
- He carried this.
- 00:16:18.040 --> 00:16:19.130
- I know right?
- 00:16:19.190 --> 00:16:20.270
- - Maybe he was taking it out on you in the game?
- 00:16:20.270 --> 00:16:23.190
- Because Kevin how do you feel? - [Britney] I know.
- 00:16:23.290 --> 00:16:25.140
- - [Pastor] I mean cause you are always over at our place.
- 00:16:25.140 --> 00:16:29.270
- There's some balance now being implemented.
- 00:16:29.270 --> 00:16:32.230
- But did you feel like she always wanted to do things
- 00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:36.250
- for her family and never yours?
- 00:16:36.250 --> 00:16:38.260
- Did that ever create an issue?
- 00:16:38.260 --> 00:16:40.260
- - No, cause I kinda felt like how,
- 00:16:40.260 --> 00:16:44.160
- well I wouldn't say how she did but I wanted
- 00:16:44.160 --> 00:16:47.090
- to be over at your guys house because, no.
- 00:16:47.090 --> 00:16:50.100
- (audience laughs)
- 00:16:50.100 --> 00:16:52.170
- - [Pastor] I got ya, I got ya.
- 00:16:54.080 --> 00:16:55.200
- I'm gonna hook you up. - [Kevin] I mean because,
- 00:16:55.200 --> 00:16:56.250
- - [Kevin] you know, in the (mumbles).
- 00:16:56.250 --> 00:16:58.090
- Because in the beginning things did not transpire
- 00:16:59.270 --> 00:17:02.140
- with my family as smoothly as we would've liked
- 00:17:02.140 --> 00:17:05.270
- for it to have happened.
- 00:17:05.270 --> 00:17:08.120
- So I took the position, "Okay you don't like her,
- 00:17:08.220 --> 00:17:11.290
- "you don't like me."
- 00:17:11.290 --> 00:17:13.060
- And so I'm rolling with it you know.
- 00:17:13.160 --> 00:17:15.030
- - Your family didn't like Britney?
- 00:17:15.030 --> 00:17:16.290
- - I wouldn't say didn't like, just.
- 00:17:17.250 --> 00:17:19.230
- (audience and DeeDee laugh)
- 00:17:19.230 --> 00:17:22.230
- That's such a strong term - [Pastor] Did you know
- 00:17:23.040 --> 00:17:24.200
- to use and you know. - [Pastor] about that?
- 00:17:24.200 --> 00:17:26.030
- - [DeeDee] Yeah, you knew.
- 00:17:26.030 --> 00:17:27.050
- - I didn't know nothing--
- 00:17:27.050 --> 00:17:28.060
- - [DeeDee] Yes you did.
- 00:17:28.060 --> 00:17:28.290
- - I did not know--
- 00:17:28.290 --> 00:17:29.230
- - It was new to them.
- 00:17:29.230 --> 00:17:31.030
- And you know being--
- 00:17:31.030 --> 00:17:32.100
- - Are you the baby boy?
- 00:17:32.100 --> 00:17:33.230
- - No, I'm the oldest boy. - [DeeDee] No, but he's
- 00:17:33.230 --> 00:17:34.210
- - [DeeDee] like the one that--
- 00:17:34.210 --> 00:17:36.170
- - But I was like the golden child to them if you will.
- 00:17:36.170 --> 00:17:38.190
- And so--
- 00:17:38.190 --> 00:17:39.160
- - You are a little light.
- 00:17:39.160 --> 00:17:40.190
- (audience laughs)
- 00:17:40.190 --> 00:17:42.290
- - [DeeDee] This is how it goes in our family meetings.
- 00:17:47.080 --> 00:17:50.060
- - I got a tan, I'm just saying, y'all can't tell.
- 00:17:51.150 --> 00:17:53.130
- - Welcome to the family meeting Tim.
- 00:17:53.130 --> 00:17:54.260
- - [Brelyn] Tan?!
- 00:17:54.280 --> 00:17:56.060
- - [Kevin] Come on man, look at me (mumbles).
- 00:17:56.060 --> 00:17:57.050
- - [Brelyn] No. - [Kevin] No oh.
- 00:17:57.050 --> 00:17:58.120
- - [Kevin] So it kind of pushed me away a bit.
- 00:17:59.100 --> 00:18:02.270
- Being that they did not, - [Pastor] Wow.
- 00:18:02.270 --> 00:18:05.100
- - [Kevin] immediately accept the relationship
- 00:18:05.150 --> 00:18:07.020
- that I decided to be in.
- 00:18:07.020 --> 00:18:08.130
- But, like Britney said we worked on some things
- 00:18:09.170 --> 00:18:12.130
- and we noticed the trend that was happening
- 00:18:12.130 --> 00:18:14.180
- in conversations with my parents and even my siblings.
- 00:18:14.180 --> 00:18:18.100
- They would drop hints and things.
- 00:18:18.100 --> 00:18:20.260
- Let me know like "Okay we don't see you that much."
- 00:18:20.260 --> 00:18:23.250
- And they would take it out in frustration
- 00:18:23.250 --> 00:18:25.220
- but they were really hurting.
- 00:18:25.220 --> 00:18:27.030
- And so. - [Pastor] Wow.
- 00:18:27.150 --> 00:18:28.230
- - [Kevin] And it hurt me cause that's my family.
- 00:18:29.100 --> 00:18:31.030
- - [Pastor] Absolutely.
- 00:18:31.030 --> 00:18:32.090
- - And so I've always wanted them to like her.
- 00:18:32.090 --> 00:18:35.290
- And so once they would've jumped on board
- 00:18:35.290 --> 00:18:39.000
- and build a relationship with her.
- 00:18:39.000 --> 00:18:41.010
- Then the next one jumped on board
- 00:18:41.010 --> 00:18:42.080
- and they built a relationship.
- 00:18:42.080 --> 00:18:43.130
- So it was like my parents, like okay.
- 00:18:43.130 --> 00:18:45.120
- And so we just started to go over there more.
- 00:18:46.010 --> 00:18:48.010
- - [Pastor] I love it.
- 00:18:48.010 --> 00:18:49.130
- - I started to call them more and talk to them more.
- 00:18:49.130 --> 00:18:50.180
- - Because you identified what was going on.
- 00:18:50.180 --> 00:18:52.190
- - Yes, yes.
- 00:18:52.190 --> 00:18:53.220
- - And you made the adjustments.
- 00:18:53.220 --> 00:18:54.260
- - Absolutely.
- 00:18:54.260 --> 00:18:55.200
- - I would like to say--
- 00:18:55.200 --> 00:18:56.130
- - Go ahead sweetie.
- 00:18:56.130 --> 00:18:57.070
- - Because let me see.
- 00:18:57.070 --> 00:18:58.090
- Sorry, I'm gonna let you talk.
- 00:18:58.090 --> 00:18:59.270
- I was at first waiting on them to reach out to me.
- 00:19:00.280 --> 00:19:05.030
- - [Pastor] Wow!
- 00:19:05.030 --> 00:19:06.110
- - But then it was kind of like "I want this,
- 00:19:06.110 --> 00:19:08.250
- "I want this family.
- 00:19:08.250 --> 00:19:10.000
- "You know this means the world to him.
- 00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:12.270
- "I want my kids to know."
- 00:19:12.270 --> 00:19:14.160
- So I started going after them.
- 00:19:15.040 --> 00:19:16.290
- And I would send his mom pictures or send her texts.
- 00:19:16.290 --> 00:19:21.100
- Reach out to her. - [Pastor] What did you,
- 00:19:21.100 --> 00:19:22.170
- - [Pastor] say that again, say that again.
- 00:19:22.170 --> 00:19:24.010
- You started going?
- 00:19:24.100 --> 00:19:26.090
- - After them.
- 00:19:26.260 --> 00:19:28.040
- Mmm hmm, I started going after them.
- 00:19:28.110 --> 00:19:29.160
- - One more time.
- 00:19:29.160 --> 00:19:30.140
- - I started going after them.
- 00:19:30.140 --> 00:19:32.070
- - Cause you could've said, "Oh they don't like me I ain't."
- 00:19:32.070 --> 00:19:35.200
- - Yup.
- 00:19:36.230 --> 00:19:37.170
- - But you started to.
- 00:19:37.170 --> 00:19:38.230
- - I started to go after them.
- 00:19:39.210 --> 00:19:41.050
- Cause I mean it hurt me at first cause I had never been.
- 00:19:41.050 --> 00:19:45.000
- I mean my family is so like. - [Pastor] We ain't used
- 00:19:45.070 --> 00:19:46.210
- - [Pastor] to that, right, absolutely.
- 00:19:46.210 --> 00:19:48.120
- - All of the in-laws.
- 00:19:48.120 --> 00:19:49.180
- So when I experienced it I was like
- 00:19:49.180 --> 00:19:51.230
- "I only see this on TV."
- 00:19:51.230 --> 00:19:53.180
- Like what's wrong with these people, people like me.
- 00:19:54.160 --> 00:19:57.000
- - Cause you're used to family.
- 00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:00.280
- - Right.
- 00:20:00.280 --> 00:20:02.030
- - And if you get out of your flow,
- 00:20:02.030 --> 00:20:02.270
- you select someone from
- 00:20:02.270 --> 00:20:05.140
- a family that isn't that.
- 00:20:05.140 --> 00:20:08.100
- - [DeeDee] But it wasn't even about Britney.
- 00:20:09.040 --> 00:20:11.110
- - I was about to say I hadn't realized
- 00:20:11.110 --> 00:20:12.220
- it wasn't about me. - [DeeDee] It would've been
- 00:20:12.220 --> 00:20:13.270
- - [DeeDee] like that with anybody.
- 00:20:13.270 --> 00:20:14.190
- - Oh absolutely.
- 00:20:14.190 --> 00:20:15.290
- - [DeeDee] Right, because they wanted Kevin.
- 00:20:15.290 --> 00:20:17.230
- They wanted Kevin around.
- 00:20:17.230 --> 00:20:19.040
- They wanted Kevin involved in different things.
- 00:20:19.040 --> 00:20:21.090
- And Britney was just, you know,
- 00:20:21.090 --> 00:20:23.030
- the object of their you know.
- 00:20:23.030 --> 00:20:26.040
- - They thought I was
- 00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:28.030
- taking him away. - [DeeDee] That face that
- 00:20:28.030 --> 00:20:29.070
- - [DeeDee] was taking him away yeah.
- 00:20:29.070 --> 00:20:30.140
- - Right, and so after I got passed myself,
- 00:20:30.160 --> 00:20:34.100
- I was like okay.
- 00:20:35.140 --> 00:20:37.010
- - You know that's the prerequisite of following Christ?
- 00:20:37.010 --> 00:20:39.240
- Get past yourself.
- 00:20:41.130 --> 00:20:42.270
- It's so powerful for you to deny yourself.
- 00:20:44.250 --> 00:20:49.190
- That's how you follow Christ.
- 00:20:50.150 --> 00:20:52.010
- Get past yourself.
- 00:20:52.010 --> 00:20:53.190
- And the minute you did that,
- 00:20:54.060 --> 00:20:55.130
- look what is being established.
- 00:20:55.130 --> 00:20:57.090
- - Yeah, and it's fun we really have a good time.
- 00:20:57.090 --> 00:20:59.110
- - Isn't it fun?
- 00:20:59.110 --> 00:21:00.190
- - Yeah, we really have a good time.
- 00:21:00.190 --> 00:21:02.120
- - It's so much better when families are together.
- 00:21:02.120 --> 00:21:06.180
- - Yes, cause I love that his mom will go out
- 00:21:06.180 --> 00:21:08.290
- and play baseball and stuff.
- 00:21:08.290 --> 00:21:10.210
- Where she's like still really sporty.
- 00:21:10.210 --> 00:21:12.210
- So for her, I love that kind of stuff.
- 00:21:12.210 --> 00:21:15.050
- I'm like we playing out here together,
- 00:21:15.050 --> 00:21:16.240
- the girls are riding on the lawnmower with his dad.
- 00:21:16.240 --> 00:21:19.140
- Although I was like "You better not tear my baby's."
- 00:21:19.140 --> 00:21:22.150
- But it was fun.
- 00:21:22.290 --> 00:21:24.160
- I mean and I love it.
- 00:21:25.070 --> 00:21:27.120
- So I'm happy that. - [Pastor] It's come a
- 00:21:27.190 --> 00:21:29.130
- - [Pastor] long way huh?
- 00:21:29.130 --> 00:21:30.150
- - A long way.
- 00:21:30.150 --> 00:21:31.080
- - But you did that.
- 00:21:31.080 --> 00:21:32.140
- Huh, you did that.
- 00:21:33.240 --> 00:21:36.030
- People will say, "Look what God has done."
- 00:21:36.160 --> 00:21:37.290
- God has already done everything he's gonna do.
- 00:21:37.290 --> 00:21:41.100
- And let me let you in on another bit of information.
- 00:21:41.100 --> 00:21:44.060
- Time has not been given the authority to heal anything.
- 00:21:44.170 --> 00:21:48.280
- "Well we just need to give it time."
- 00:21:53.240 --> 00:21:55.140
- Where'd you get that from?
- 00:21:55.140 --> 00:21:56.290
- Time has never been given the authority to heal anything.
- 00:21:59.250 --> 00:22:03.060
- "We just need to take some time."
- 00:22:03.060 --> 00:22:04.190
- It doesn't take time, it takes a choice.
- 00:22:04.190 --> 00:22:07.050
- It takes a choice for you to exercise the authority
- 00:22:07.230 --> 00:22:11.090
- that you possess in Christ Jesus.
- 00:22:11.090 --> 00:22:13.290
- "Oh they just need a little time."
- 00:22:13.290 --> 00:22:15.120
- Or "He just needs a little time."
- 00:22:15.120 --> 00:22:17.030
- Now there is some wisdom and balance in timing,
- 00:22:17.030 --> 00:22:20.260
- but it doesn't take time.
- 00:22:20.260 --> 00:22:22.180
- It took all this time.
- 00:22:23.070 --> 00:22:24.210
- Dr. I.V. Hilliard and I are connected, it took all that time
- 00:22:24.210 --> 00:22:28.150
- when it could've been done a long time ago
- 00:22:28.150 --> 00:22:30.270
- if in fact both of us would've made a mutual choice.
- 00:22:30.270 --> 00:22:34.230
- And all we had to do was both decide.
- 00:22:36.040 --> 00:22:38.290
- In spite of the differences that we have encountered
- 00:22:38.290 --> 00:22:42.110
- with one another.
- 00:22:42.110 --> 00:22:43.260
- In spite of the differences you encounter with each other.
- 00:22:43.260 --> 00:22:47.120
- It doesn't take time, it takes two spirit filled,
- 00:22:47.120 --> 00:22:49.290
- mature individuals who can come together,
- 00:22:49.290 --> 00:22:52.190
- who are saturated in the love of God
- 00:22:52.190 --> 00:22:55.180
- that's willing to overcome evil with good
- 00:22:55.180 --> 00:22:58.120
- and get on with the business of the Body of Christ.
- 00:22:58.120 --> 00:23:01.180
- - [DeeDee] Amen.
- 00:23:01.180 --> 00:23:02.150
- - Did I say something good?
- 00:23:02.220 --> 00:23:04.210
- Well treat me like you do DeeDee.
- 00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:06.290
- (audience applauds and cheers)
- 00:23:06.290 --> 00:23:09.040
- - [DeeDee] Asked us down here,
- 00:23:12.220 --> 00:23:14.060
- - [DeeDee and Pastor] what's the most important lesson
- 00:23:14.060 --> 00:23:15.240
- - [Pastor] you have learned from watching
- 00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:16.290
- your parents marriage?
- 00:23:16.290 --> 00:23:18.130
- - [Audience member] Everybody got an answer.
- 00:23:21.130 --> 00:23:22.240
- - [DeeDee and Pastor] Everybody got an answer.
- 00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:24.190
- - [Pastor] Okay. - [DeeDee] They should.
- 00:23:24.190 --> 00:23:25.230
- - [DeeDee] I think.
- 00:23:25.230 --> 00:23:27.000
- - [Male audience member] Start with Josh first.
- 00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:28.000
- - Huh? (audience laughs)
- 00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:28.240
- Start with Josh.
- 00:23:29.140 --> 00:23:30.280
- Josh the people love you. - [DeeDee] Keep your mike on.
- 00:23:31.230 --> 00:23:34.000
- - [Pastor] And then we're gonna open the floor up
- 00:23:34.200 --> 00:23:36.060
- for any questions that you may have cause--
- 00:23:36.060 --> 00:23:38.070
- - Man, I still need to.
- 00:23:38.070 --> 00:23:40.110
- Can y'all hear me?
- 00:23:40.170 --> 00:23:41.220
- - [Pastor] No, just get a microphone.
- 00:23:41.220 --> 00:23:43.030
- - Oh there it go.
- 00:23:43.090 --> 00:23:44.090
- I still kinda need to think.
- 00:23:45.130 --> 00:23:46.190
- It's a lot of stuff.
- 00:23:46.190 --> 00:23:48.280
- I mean it's--
- 00:23:51.000 --> 00:23:52.150
- - [DeeDee] I know, cause they didn't know their question.
- 00:23:52.150 --> 00:23:53.200
- - [Pastor] The most important lesson.
- 00:23:53.200 --> 00:23:55.020
- - [DeeDee] Yeah.
- 00:23:55.020 --> 00:23:56.070
- - At this point. - [DeeDee] It's a lot.
- 00:23:57.040 --> 00:23:58.120
- - [Pastor] I mean I know there's so many.
- 00:23:58.120 --> 00:23:59.210
- I've taught you a lot of most important lessons.
- 00:23:59.210 --> 00:24:03.150
- - Are you ready, are y'all ready?
- 00:24:03.260 --> 00:24:05.050
- Britney's ready. - [Joshua] And it's not even
- 00:24:05.050 --> 00:24:06.160
- She could come back. - [Joshua] so many important
- 00:24:06.160 --> 00:24:08.000
- - [Joshua] lessons that they have said out their mouth,
- 00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:09.130
- but just how they say more is caught than taught.
- 00:24:09.130 --> 00:24:11.200
- Like stuff that you see, you know what to do,
- 00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:14.230
- what not to do.
- 00:24:14.230 --> 00:24:16.070
- You know, if they didn't tie their shoe when they fell
- 00:24:16.070 --> 00:24:18.140
- then that means that you need to tie your
- 00:24:18.140 --> 00:24:19.190
- shoes so you don't fall.
- 00:24:19.190 --> 00:24:20.250
- You know, stuff like that.
- 00:24:20.250 --> 00:24:22.080
- But other than that I can't really think of one thing
- 00:24:22.080 --> 00:24:27.080
- that you have like really said to me,
- 00:24:27.100 --> 00:24:30.210
- that kind of stuff with me.
- 00:24:30.210 --> 00:24:32.050
- - [DeeDee] Okay, what one thing you may have caught?
- 00:24:32.050 --> 00:24:34.010
- - [Pastor] That's really relevant or significant
- 00:24:35.210 --> 00:24:37.270
- to you in your relationship marriage.
- 00:24:38.010 --> 00:24:39.240
- - My biggest thing is--
- 00:24:39.240 --> 00:24:42.150
- - It had to come from my side.
- 00:24:42.150 --> 00:24:43.250
- You've noticed that - [Joshua] Is to stay calm.
- 00:24:43.250 --> 00:24:45.000
- - [Pastor] I've done a lot of things.
- 00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:46.270
- - Yeah yeah, I mean but my biggest thing is to stay calm.
- 00:24:47.250 --> 00:24:50.250
- Like I've always seen--
- 00:24:50.250 --> 00:24:52.190
- - [Pastor] Like your father.
- 00:24:52.190 --> 00:24:53.190
- (audience laughs)
- 00:24:53.190 --> 00:24:56.050
- - Now.
- 00:24:58.040 --> 00:24:59.040
- - [DeeDee and Pastor] Now.
- 00:24:59.230 --> 00:25:00.220
- (Audience and Pastor laugh)
- 00:25:00.220 --> 00:25:01.240
- - But then I mean you know,
- 00:25:01.240 --> 00:25:03.270
- back in the day.
- 00:25:03.270 --> 00:25:06.110
- You know he is a spaz artist.
- 00:25:07.040 --> 00:25:08.260
- You know what I'm saying?
- 00:25:08.260 --> 00:25:09.240
- Like any little thing man.
- 00:25:09.240 --> 00:25:12.120
- It can go from zero to 100 real quick.
- 00:25:12.120 --> 00:25:15.050
- - In zero seconds.
- 00:25:15.050 --> 00:25:16.210
- - In zero seconds.
- 00:25:17.170 --> 00:25:18.240
- So I've seen a lot of those traits in me
- 00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:22.200
- where I kind of just pop off or just go off.
- 00:25:22.200 --> 00:25:25.210
- And I think that's like my biggest thing
- 00:25:25.210 --> 00:25:28.090
- to like relax, just to calm down, kinda breathe.
- 00:25:28.090 --> 00:25:31.130
- Make marriage easy.
- 00:25:37.260 --> 00:25:38.090
- - [Voiceover] Thank you for viewing Marriage Made Easy.
- 00:25:39.020 --> 00:25:40.210
- If you would like to obtain a copy of today's lesson
- 00:25:40.210 --> 00:25:43.160
- or any other featured item,
- 00:25:43.160 --> 00:25:45.130
- please give us a call at
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- one, eight, eight, eight,
- 00:25:46.160 --> 00:25:47.270
- six, three, zero,
- 00:25:47.270 --> 00:25:49.040
- four, five, four, zero.
- 00:25:49.040 --> 00:25:50.190
- I don't think it's always bad, because sometimes people
- 00:25:51.010 --> 00:25:54.170
- just have to really understand
- 00:25:54.170 --> 00:25:56.070
- how you feel about a certain thing.
- 00:25:56.070 --> 00:25:57.250
- But you shouldn't just spaz for no reason.
- 00:25:57.250 --> 00:26:01.040
- You shouldn't just trip out for no reason.
- 00:26:01.040 --> 00:26:02.270
- Like my dad used to just trip out for no reason.
- 00:26:02.270 --> 00:26:05.260
- So I had to kinda and I (audience laughs)
- 00:26:06.070 --> 00:26:09.040
- would watch (laughs). (DeeDee laughs loudly)
- 00:26:09.040 --> 00:26:10.210
- - [DeeDee] Cut his Mike.
- 00:26:10.210 --> 00:26:11.260
- - You don't know which mike I got.
- 00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:14.150
- to get on the road again.
- 00:26:18.270 --> 00:26:20.160
- DeeDee and I are taking Marriage Made EZ
- 00:26:20.160 --> 00:26:23.270
- back on the road, how about that.
- 00:26:23.270 --> 00:26:27.060
- And we want to come to
- 00:26:27.060 --> 00:26:29.010
- your ministry.
- 00:26:29.270 --> 00:26:31.060
- You have to call a pastor,
- 00:26:31.060 --> 00:26:33.080
- or have your pastor to call,
- 00:26:33.080 --> 00:26:35.210
- let us know that your facility
- 00:26:35.210 --> 00:26:38.060
- is available for us to come in.
- 00:26:39.020 --> 00:26:41.150
- We're not asking you for a dime
- 00:26:41.150 --> 00:26:44.070
- we just want to use your place
- 00:26:44.070 --> 00:26:46.270
- well, actually, His place
- 00:26:46.270 --> 00:26:49.140
- that you have been assigned over,
- 00:26:49.140 --> 00:26:52.030
- so that we can come and enrich marriages.
- 00:26:52.030 --> 00:26:55.160
- I just ran into a young lady the other night, and she said,
- 00:26:55.160 --> 00:27:00.180
- "Pastor Freeman, you, with all due respect,
- 00:27:00.180 --> 00:27:04.180
- you are a fool,
- 00:27:04.180 --> 00:27:06.000
- you and that Dr. DeeDee."
- 00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:07.270
- She called me a fool, can you imagine that?
- 00:27:07.270 --> 00:27:10.150
- But then she concluded by saying,
- 00:27:10.150 --> 00:27:12.140
- "My marriage is
- 00:27:12.140 --> 00:27:14.040
- so much better
- 00:27:14.040 --> 00:27:15.160
- because of your transparency,
- 00:27:15.160 --> 00:27:17.290
- your candor, and your humor."
- 00:27:19.020 --> 00:27:21.190
- I don't know where this humor has come from, I really don't.
- 00:27:21.190 --> 00:27:25.290
- It's not even something I want.
- 00:27:25.290 --> 00:27:28.030
- I recall Jesse Duplantis saying the same thing,
- 00:27:28.030 --> 00:27:31.160
- that God had just made it a part of my ministry.
- 00:27:31.160 --> 00:27:34.210
- And we have a good time, we have an exciting time,
- 00:27:34.210 --> 00:27:37.150
- and I'm just that enriched, I'm just that fulfilled.
- 00:27:37.150 --> 00:27:41.190
- And I want some of this to get on you and your area.
- 00:27:41.190 --> 00:27:45.050
- So, contact my office, we're ready to get back on the road.
- 00:27:45.050 --> 00:27:49.060
- You know the Devil has shot us a blow
- 00:27:49.060 --> 00:27:51.160
- and literally try
- 00:27:51.160 --> 00:27:53.190
- to destroy
- 00:27:53.190 --> 00:27:55.050
- and even kill the Ministry of Mike and DeeDee Freeman,
- 00:27:55.050 --> 00:27:58.090
- but we're up again, we're strong,
- 00:27:58.090 --> 00:28:00.030
- we're fired up, we're ready to go,
- 00:28:00.030 --> 00:28:02.220
- and all we need to know is that you want us
- 00:28:02.220 --> 00:28:05.220
- to come to your area.
- 00:28:05.220 --> 00:28:07.030
- We've been to L.A., we've been to Chicago,
- 00:28:07.030 --> 00:28:09.100
- we've been to Atlanta, we've been to New York,
- 00:28:09.100 --> 00:28:11.260
- we've been to Detroit, we're ready to go.
- 00:28:11.260 --> 00:28:14.150
- North Carolina, we've been to the Bahamas,
- 00:28:14.150 --> 00:28:17.040
- we're ready to fire up that jet and come wherever
- 00:28:17.040 --> 00:28:19.220
- we got to come to be a part
- 00:28:19.220 --> 00:28:22.090
- of transforming the marriages in your area.
- 00:28:22.090 --> 00:28:25.030
- Call us, we're waiting for you.
- 00:28:25.030 --> 00:28:27.200