Kayla Stoecklein | Fear Gone Wild | TBN

Kayla Stoecklein | Fear Gone Wild

Watch Kayla Stoecklein | Fear Gone Wild
December 15, 2020
27:29

Hosted by James and Betty Robison; this program features guests who have emerged victorious from difficulties in their lives.

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Kayla Stoecklein | Fear Gone Wild

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  • - GOD, WHY ARE YOUALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN?
  • 00:00:07.097 --> 00:00:09.632
  • AND WHY AREN'T YOUINTERVENING?
  • 00:00:09.732 --> 00:00:11.701
  • AND WHY AREN'T YOUHEALING HIM?
  • 00:00:11.801 --> 00:00:13.736
  • WE'RE PRAYING AND WE HAVEPEOPLE OVER TO OUR HOUSE
  • 00:00:13.837 --> 00:00:15.772
  • TO PRAY ANDANOINT HIM WITH OIL.
  • 00:00:15.872 --> 00:00:17.807
  • IT JUST FELT LIKENOTHING WAS WORKING.
  • 00:00:17.907 --> 00:00:20.810
  • I WAS LEFT JUST ASKINGWHERE ARE YOU GOD?
  • 00:00:20.910 --> 00:00:23.780
  • WHY AREN'T YOU FIXING THIS?AND I WAS EXHAUSTED.
  • 00:00:23.880 --> 00:00:26.649
  • ON AUGUST 25th, 2018,PASTOR ANDREW STOECKLEINDIED FROM SUICIDE.
  • 00:00:26.749 --> 00:00:32.021
  • HIS WIDOWNOW SHARES HER JOURNEY
  • 00:00:32.122 --> 00:00:34.023
  • TO BETTER UNDERSTANDHIS BATTLE.
  • 00:00:34.124 --> 00:00:36.226
  • 00:00:39.462 --> 00:00:45.568
  • Randy: WELCOME TO LIFE TODAY !
  • 00:00:55.578 --> 00:00:56.679
  • Randy: WELCOME TO LIFE TODAY !I'M RANDY ROBISON.
  • 00:00:56.679 --> 00:00:58.648
  • Randy: WELCOME TO LIFE TODAY !I'M RANDY ROBISON.SHEILA WALSH IS WITH ME.
  • 00:00:58.648 --> 00:00:59.949
  • I'M RANDY ROBISON.SHEILA WALSH IS WITH ME.YOU KNOW 2020 HAS BEEN
  • 00:00:59.949 --> 00:01:01.584
  • A LOT OF PEOPLE AND NOT
  • 00:01:04.020 --> 00:01:06.856
  • A LOT OF PEOPLE AND NOTJUST WITH THE COVID BUT WITH
  • 00:01:06.856 --> 00:01:09.159
  • A LOT OF PEOPLE AND NOTJUST WITH THE COVID BUT WITHSOME OF THE RAMIFICATIONS
  • 00:01:09.159 --> 00:01:10.560
  • JUST WITH THE COVID BUT WITHSOME OF THE RAMIFICATIONSOF THE LOCK DOWNS
  • 00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:11.561
  • SOME OF THE RAMIFICATIONSOF THE LOCK DOWNSAND THE JOB LOSS
  • 00:01:11.561 --> 00:01:12.762
  • OF THE LOCK DOWNSAND THE JOB LOSSAND THE UNCERTAINTY.
  • 00:01:12.762 --> 00:01:13.997
  • AND THE JOB LOSSAND THE UNCERTAINTY.SO I THINK TODAY'S PROGRAM
  • 00:01:13.997 --> 00:01:15.331
  • AND THE UNCERTAINTY.SO I THINK TODAY'S PROGRAMIS ACTUALLY GOING TO BE
  • 00:01:15.331 --> 00:01:17.567
  • SO I THINK TODAY'S PROGRAMIS ACTUALLY GOING TO BEVERY IMPORTANT, POSSIBLY
  • 00:01:17.567 --> 00:01:18.835
  • IS ACTUALLY GOING TO BEVERY IMPORTANT, POSSIBLYEVEN CRITICAL FOR MANY
  • 00:01:18.835 --> 00:01:20.570
  • VERY IMPORTANT, POSSIBLYEVEN CRITICAL FOR MANYOF YOU AND THOSE YOU LOVE.
  • 00:01:20.570 --> 00:01:21.738
  • EVEN CRITICAL FOR MANYOF YOU AND THOSE YOU LOVE.SHEILA, THIS IS A TOUGH
  • 00:01:21.738 --> 00:01:23.072
  • OF YOU AND THOSE YOU LOVE.SHEILA, THIS IS A TOUGHSUBJECT BUT WE HAVE
  • 00:01:23.072 --> 00:01:24.307
  • SHEILA, THIS IS A TOUGHSUBJECT BUT WE HAVEA WONDERFUL GUEST WHO IS
  • 00:01:24.307 --> 00:01:25.608
  • SUBJECT BUT WE HAVEA WONDERFUL GUEST WHO ISREALLY GOING TO HELP US
  • 00:01:25.608 --> 00:01:26.943
  • A WONDERFUL GUEST WHO ISREALLY GOING TO HELP USWALK THROUGH SOME
  • 00:01:26.943 --> 00:01:28.144
  • REALLY GOING TO HELP USWALK THROUGH SOMEOF THESE THINGS.
  • 00:01:28.144 --> 00:01:29.646
  • WALK THROUGH SOMEOF THESE THINGS.Sheila: WHEN I FIRST MET
  • 00:01:29.646 --> 00:01:32.015
  • OF THESE THINGS.Sheila: WHEN I FIRST METTHIS YOUNG MOM ONLINE I WAS
  • 00:01:32.015 --> 00:01:34.217
  • Sheila: WHEN I FIRST METTHIS YOUNG MOM ONLINE I WASSO BLOWN AWAY BY HER STORY
  • 00:01:34.217 --> 00:01:35.318
  • THIS YOUNG MOM ONLINE I WASSO BLOWN AWAY BY HER STORYAND IT RANG SOME REALLY
  • 00:01:35.318 --> 00:01:36.753
  • SO BLOWN AWAY BY HER STORYAND IT RANG SOME REALLYPRETTY DEEP BELLS
  • 00:01:36.753 --> 00:01:37.987
  • BUT SHE HAS HER OWN STORY
  • 00:01:39.189 --> 00:01:40.290
  • BUT SHE HAS HER OWN STORYTO TELL.
  • 00:01:40.290 --> 00:01:41.391
  • BUT SHE HAS HER OWN STORYTO TELL.I JUST WANT YOU TO PLEASE
  • 00:01:41.391 --> 00:01:42.492
  • TO TELL.I JUST WANT YOU TO PLEASEWELCOME KAYLA STOECKLEIN
  • 00:01:42.492 --> 00:01:43.560
  • I JUST WANT YOU TO PLEASEWELCOME KAYLA STOECKLEINTO THE PROGRAM.
  • 00:01:43.560 --> 00:01:44.594
  • WELCOME KAYLA STOECKLEINTO THE PROGRAM.I'M SO GLAD
  • 00:01:44.594 --> 00:01:45.695
  • TO THE PROGRAM.I'M SO GLADYOU'RE WITH US, KAYLA.
  • 00:01:45.695 --> 00:01:46.930
  • I'M SO GLADYOU'RE WITH US, KAYLA.Kayla: THANKS SO MUCH
  • 00:01:46.930 --> 00:01:48.031
  • YOU'RE WITH US, KAYLA.Kayla: THANKS SO MUCHFOR HAVING ME.
  • 00:01:48.031 --> 00:01:49.132
  • Kayla: THANKS SO MUCHFOR HAVING ME.IT'S SUCH AN HONOR.
  • 00:01:49.132 --> 00:01:50.667
  • FOR HAVING ME.IT'S SUCH AN HONOR.Sheila: I REMEMBER WITH
  • 00:01:50.667 --> 00:01:51.801
  • IT'S SUCH AN HONOR.Sheila: I REMEMBER WITHTHE REST OF AMERICA,
  • 00:01:51.801 --> 00:01:53.336
  • Sheila: I REMEMBER WITHTHE REST OF AMERICA,THE REST OF THE CHURCH
  • 00:01:53.336 --> 00:01:54.671
  • THE REST OF AMERICA,THE REST OF THE CHURCHHEARING THE NEWS THAT
  • 00:01:54.671 --> 00:01:57.073
  • THE REST OF THE CHURCHHEARING THE NEWS THATYOUR HUSBAND HAD DIED
  • 00:01:57.073 --> 00:01:59.576
  • HEARING THE NEWS THATYOUR HUSBAND HAD DIEDBY SUICIDE --
  • 00:01:59.576 --> 00:02:01.744
  • YOUR HUSBAND HAD DIEDBY SUICIDE --THE HORROR OF THAT.
  • 00:02:01.744 --> 00:02:02.912
  • BY SUICIDE --THE HORROR OF THAT.BUT I WONDER IF YOU WOULD
  • 00:02:02.912 --> 00:02:04.113
  • THE HORROR OF THAT.BUT I WONDER IF YOU WOULDTAKE US BACK TO,
  • 00:02:04.113 --> 00:02:06.282
  • BUT I WONDER IF YOU WOULDTAKE US BACK TO,WHEN YOU'RE JUST MARRIED,
  • 00:02:06.282 --> 00:02:07.417
  • TAKE US BACK TO,WHEN YOU'RE JUST MARRIED,YOU'RE A MOM,
  • 00:02:07.417 --> 00:02:08.451
  • WHEN YOU'RE JUST MARRIED,YOU'RE A MOM,YOU HAVE CHILDREN,
  • 00:02:08.451 --> 00:02:09.519
  • YOU'RE A MOM,YOU HAVE CHILDREN,YOU HAVE THE PERFECT HOUSE,
  • 00:02:09.519 --> 00:02:11.654
  • YOU HAVE CHILDREN,YOU HAVE THE PERFECT HOUSE,YOU HAVE THE PERFECT LIFE.
  • 00:02:11.654 --> 00:02:12.989
  • YOU HAVE THE PERFECT HOUSE,YOU HAVE THE PERFECT LIFE.WHAT BEGAN TO HAPPEN?
  • 00:02:12.989 --> 00:02:14.224
  • YOU HAVE THE PERFECT LIFE.WHAT BEGAN TO HAPPEN?WHEN DID YOU FIRST THINK
  • 00:02:14.224 --> 00:02:15.491
  • WHAT BEGAN TO HAPPEN?WHEN DID YOU FIRST THINKTHERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING
  • 00:02:15.491 --> 00:02:17.493
  • WHEN DID YOU FIRST THINKTHERE MIGHT BE SOMETHINGGOING ON WITH YOUR HUSBAND?
  • 00:02:17.493 --> 00:02:18.962
  • THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHINGGOING ON WITH YOUR HUSBAND?Kayla: SURE.
  • 00:02:18.962 --> 00:02:20.396
  • GOING ON WITH YOUR HUSBAND?Kayla: SURE.JUST A FEW YEARS AGO
  • 00:02:20.396 --> 00:02:21.497
  • Kayla: SURE.JUST A FEW YEARS AGOI WAS LIVING THE LIFE
  • 00:02:21.497 --> 00:02:22.699
  • JUST A FEW YEARS AGOI WAS LIVING THE LIFEOF MY DREAMS.
  • 00:02:22.699 --> 00:02:23.833
  • I WAS LIVING THE LIFEOF MY DREAMS.I HAD EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE
  • 00:02:23.833 --> 00:02:26.302
  • I WAS MARRIED TO ANDREW.
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  • I WAS MARRIED TO ANDREW.HE WAS A LEAD PASTOR
  • 00:02:29.205 --> 00:02:30.506
  • I WAS MARRIED TO ANDREW.HE WAS A LEAD PASTOROF OUR CHURCH.
  • 00:02:30.506 --> 00:02:31.608
  • HE WAS A LEAD PASTOROF OUR CHURCH.WE HAD THREE SMALL KIDS
  • 00:02:31.608 --> 00:02:32.842
  • OF OUR CHURCH.WE HAD THREE SMALL KIDSAND WE WERE LIVING
  • 00:02:32.842 --> 00:02:34.344
  • I HAD THE MOM CAR,
  • 00:02:35.812 --> 00:02:37.013
  • I HAD THE MOM CAR,THE BIG SUBURBAN.
  • 00:02:37.013 --> 00:02:38.815
  • THE BIG SUBURBAN.LIKE I REALLY HAD EVERYTHING
  • 00:02:38.815 --> 00:02:40.049
  • LIKE I REALLY HAD EVERYTHINGI WOULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED
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  • AND IT WAS A GOOD LIFE!
  • 00:02:42.719 --> 00:02:44.520
  • AND IT WAS A GOOD LIFE!I LOVED BEING A PASTOR'S WIFE.
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  • AND IT WAS A GOOD LIFE!I LOVED BEING A PASTOR'S WIFE.I LOVED DOING MINISTRY
  • 00:02:45.989 --> 00:02:47.223
  • I LOVED BEING A PASTOR'S WIFE.I LOVED DOING MINISTRYWITH HIM.
  • 00:02:47.223 --> 00:02:48.358
  • I LOVED DOING MINISTRYWITH HIM.IT FELT LIKE SUCH A HUGE
  • 00:02:48.358 --> 00:02:50.460
  • WITH HIM.IT FELT LIKE SUCH A HUGECALLING AND I FELT SO HONORED
  • 00:02:50.460 --> 00:02:51.828
  • IT FELT LIKE SUCH A HUGECALLING AND I FELT SO HONOREDTHAT GOD HAD CALLED ME
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  • CALLING AND I FELT SO HONOREDTHAT GOD HAD CALLED METO BE HIS WIFE AND
  • 00:02:52.996 --> 00:02:55.598
  • THAT GOD HAD CALLED METO BE HIS WIFE ANDTO DO THIS JOB WITH HIM.
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  • TO BE HIS WIFE ANDTO DO THIS JOB WITH HIM.I FOUND MY NICHES IN MINISTRY.
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  • TO DO THIS JOB WITH HIM.I FOUND MY NICHES IN MINISTRY.I WAS SERVING ON THE WOMEN'S
  • 00:02:58.901 --> 00:03:00.403
  • I FOUND MY NICHES IN MINISTRY.I WAS SERVING ON THE WOMEN'SEVENTS TEAM AND
  • 00:03:00.403 --> 00:03:01.738
  • I WAS SERVING ON THE WOMEN'SEVENTS TEAM ANDIN THE MOMS' GROUP.
  • 00:03:01.738 --> 00:03:03.840
  • EVENTS TEAM ANDIN THE MOMS' GROUP.I WAS ALSO JUST SERVING HIM
  • 00:03:03.840 --> 00:03:05.074
  • IN THE MOMS' GROUP.I WAS ALSO JUST SERVING HIMAND DOING WHATEVER I COULD
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  • I WAS ALSO JUST SERVING HIMAND DOING WHATEVER I COULDTO HELP HIM PREPARE
  • 00:03:06.175 --> 00:03:07.377
  • AND DOING WHATEVER I COULDTO HELP HIM PREPAREFOR SUNDAYS AND GET READY
  • 00:03:07.377 --> 00:03:08.444
  • TO HELP HIM PREPAREFOR SUNDAYS AND GET READYFOR THE WEEKEND AND GET
  • 00:03:08.444 --> 00:03:10.280
  • FOR SUNDAYS AND GET READYFOR THE WEEKEND AND GETHIS HEAD ON STRAIGHT.
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  • FOR THE WEEKEND AND GETHIS HEAD ON STRAIGHT.I JUST LOVED IT.
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  • HIS HEAD ON STRAIGHT.I JUST LOVED IT.IT WAS A REALLY GREAT LIFE.
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  • I JUST LOVED IT.IT WAS A REALLY GREAT LIFE.AND THE CHURCH WAS WONDERFUL.
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  • IT WAS A REALLY GREAT LIFE.AND THE CHURCH WAS WONDERFUL.OUR CHURCH HAD WALKED
  • 00:03:16.486 --> 00:03:17.754
  • AND THE CHURCH WAS WONDERFUL.OUR CHURCH HAD WALKEDTHROUGH A VERY DIFFICULT
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  • OUR CHURCH HAD WALKEDTHROUGH A VERY DIFFICULTFOUR-YEAR JOURNEY.
  • 00:03:19.055 --> 00:03:20.156
  • THROUGH A VERY DIFFICULTFOUR-YEAR JOURNEY.HIS FATHER WAS THE LEAD
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  • FOUR-YEAR JOURNEY.HIS FATHER WAS THE LEADPASTOR OF THE CHURCH.
  • 00:03:21.224 --> 00:03:22.258
  • HIS FATHER WAS THE LEADPASTOR OF THE CHURCH.HE STARTED THE CHURCH
  • 00:03:22.258 --> 00:03:23.426
  • PASTOR OF THE CHURCH.HE STARTED THE CHURCHWHEN MY HUSBAND WAS THREE.
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  • HE STARTED THE CHURCHWHEN MY HUSBAND WAS THREE.HE HAD PASSED AWAY
  • 00:03:24.594 --> 00:03:27.664
  • WHEN MY HUSBAND WAS THREE.HE HAD PASSED AWAYIN 2015 FROM LEUKEMIA.
  • 00:03:27.664 --> 00:03:28.831
  • HE HAD PASSED AWAYIN 2015 FROM LEUKEMIA.SO OUR CHURCH HAD WALKED
  • 00:03:28.831 --> 00:03:30.066
  • IN 2015 FROM LEUKEMIA.SO OUR CHURCH HAD WALKEDTHROUGH A LOT AND MY HUSBAND
  • 00:03:30.066 --> 00:03:31.200
  • SO OUR CHURCH HAD WALKEDTHROUGH A LOT AND MY HUSBANDHAD TAKEN OVER DURING
  • 00:03:31.200 --> 00:03:32.502
  • THROUGH A LOT AND MY HUSBANDHAD TAKEN OVER DURINGTHAT JOURNEY.
  • 00:03:32.502 --> 00:03:34.003
  • HAD TAKEN OVER DURINGTHAT JOURNEY.BUT THEY WELCOMED HIM
  • 00:03:34.003 --> 00:03:35.705
  • THAT JOURNEY.BUT THEY WELCOMED HIMWITH LOVING ARMS AND EMBRACED
  • 00:03:35.705 --> 00:03:37.140
  • BUT THEY WELCOMED HIMWITH LOVING ARMS AND EMBRACEDHIM AS THE LEAD PASTOR.
  • 00:03:37.140 --> 00:03:38.474
  • WITH LOVING ARMS AND EMBRACEDHIM AS THE LEAD PASTOR.AND THE CHURCH WAS THRIVING
  • 00:03:38.474 --> 00:03:39.742
  • HIM AS THE LEAD PASTOR.AND THE CHURCH WAS THRIVINGAND THE CHURCH WAS GROWING
  • 00:03:39.742 --> 00:03:40.977
  • AND THE CHURCH WAS THRIVINGAND THE CHURCH WAS GROWINGUNDER HIS LEADERSHIP.
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  • AND THE CHURCH WAS GROWINGUNDER HIS LEADERSHIP.HE WAS THE YOUNG, COOL,
  • 00:03:42.111 --> 00:03:43.880
  • UNDER HIS LEADERSHIP.HE WAS THE YOUNG, COOL,HIP PASTOR IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
  • 00:03:43.880 --> 00:03:45.248
  • HE WAS THE YOUNG, COOL,HIP PASTOR IN THE NEIGHBORHOODAND IT WAS SUCH AN HONOR
  • 00:03:45.248 --> 00:03:46.482
  • HIP PASTOR IN THE NEIGHBORHOODAND IT WAS SUCH AN HONORTO SIT IN THE FRONT ROW
  • 00:03:46.482 --> 00:03:49.218
  • Sheila: YOU TALK IN THE BOOK
  • 00:03:51.020 --> 00:03:52.922
  • Sheila: YOU TALK IN THE BOOKABOUT THAT FIRST MAJOR
  • 00:03:52.922 --> 00:03:55.291
  • HELP PEOPLE WHO DON'T
  • 00:03:56.492 --> 00:03:57.593
  • HELP PEOPLE WHO DON'TUNDERSTAND WHAT THAT IS
  • 00:03:57.593 --> 00:03:58.661
  • HELP PEOPLE WHO DON'TUNDERSTAND WHAT THAT ISTO KNOW WHAT THAT IS AND
  • 00:03:58.661 --> 00:03:59.662
  • UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT ISTO KNOW WHAT THAT IS ANDWHAT DO YOU THINK LED UP
  • 00:03:59.662 --> 00:04:01.264
  • TO KNOW WHAT THAT IS ANDWHAT DO YOU THINK LED UPTO THAT FOR HIM?
  • 00:04:01.264 --> 00:04:03.266
  • WHAT DO YOU THINK LED UPTO THAT FOR HIM?Kayla: YEAH. SO IT WAS 2017
  • 00:04:03.266 --> 00:04:04.434
  • TO THAT FOR HIM?Kayla: YEAH. SO IT WAS 2017WHEN THINGS REALLY
  • 00:04:04.434 --> 00:04:06.102
  • Kayla: YEAH. SO IT WAS 2017WHEN THINGS REALLYSTARTED TO CHANGE FOR US.
  • 00:04:06.102 --> 00:04:07.537
  • WHEN THINGS REALLYSTARTED TO CHANGE FOR US.WE HAD A STALKER ISSUE
  • 00:04:07.537 --> 00:04:08.671
  • STARTED TO CHANGE FOR US.WE HAD A STALKER ISSUEIN OUR FAMILY, WHICH
  • 00:04:08.671 --> 00:04:09.939
  • WE HAD A STALKER ISSUEIN OUR FAMILY, WHICHOFTENTIMES HAPPENS FOR PEOPLE
  • 00:04:09.939 --> 00:04:11.274
  • IN OUR FAMILY, WHICHOFTENTIMES HAPPENS FOR PEOPLEWHO ARE IN THE LIMELIGHT
  • 00:04:11.274 --> 00:04:12.775
  • OFTENTIMES HAPPENS FOR PEOPLEWHO ARE IN THE LIMELIGHTIN A COMMUNITY.
  • 00:04:12.775 --> 00:04:13.843
  • WHO ARE IN THE LIMELIGHTIN A COMMUNITY.I'M SURE OTHER PASTORS HAVE
  • 00:04:13.843 --> 00:04:15.244
  • IN A COMMUNITY.I'M SURE OTHER PASTORS HAVEHAD SIMILAR EXPERIENCES.
  • 00:04:15.244 --> 00:04:16.446
  • I'M SURE OTHER PASTORS HAVEHAD SIMILAR EXPERIENCES.WELL, WE HAD THIS STALKER
  • 00:04:16.446 --> 00:04:17.947
  • HAD SIMILAR EXPERIENCES.WELL, WE HAD THIS STALKERISSUE AND I REALLY THINK
  • 00:04:17.947 --> 00:04:19.482
  • WELL, WE HAD THIS STALKERISSUE AND I REALLY THINKIT WAS THE BIGGEST INVITATION
  • 00:04:19.482 --> 00:04:21.584
  • ISSUE AND I REALLY THINKIT WAS THE BIGGEST INVITATIONFOR FEAR FOR MY HUSBAND.
  • 00:04:21.584 --> 00:04:22.952
  • IT WAS THE BIGGEST INVITATIONFOR FEAR FOR MY HUSBAND.SO THIS FEAR STARTED
  • 00:04:22.952 --> 00:04:24.754
  • FOR FEAR FOR MY HUSBAND.SO THIS FEAR STARTEDTRICKLING IN AND HE STARTED
  • 00:04:24.754 --> 00:04:26.723
  • SO THIS FEAR STARTEDTRICKLING IN AND HE STARTEDEXPERIENCING PANIC ATTACKS.
  • 00:04:26.723 --> 00:04:28.057
  • TRICKLING IN AND HE STARTEDEXPERIENCING PANIC ATTACKS.AND THESE PANIC ATTACKS
  • 00:04:28.057 --> 00:04:29.359
  • EXPERIENCING PANIC ATTACKS.AND THESE PANIC ATTACKSWERE SO DEBILITATING.
  • 00:04:29.359 --> 00:04:31.394
  • AND THESE PANIC ATTACKSWERE SO DEBILITATING.HE HAD NEVER HAD THEM BEFORE.
  • 00:04:31.394 --> 00:04:33.129
  • WERE SO DEBILITATING.HE HAD NEVER HAD THEM BEFORE.I HAD NEVER WITNESSED
  • 00:04:33.129 --> 00:04:34.897
  • HE HAD NEVER HAD THEM BEFORE.I HAD NEVER WITNESSEDA PANIC ATTACK BEFORE
  • 00:04:34.897 --> 00:04:36.165
  • I HAD NEVER WITNESSEDA PANIC ATTACK BEFOREAND THEY WOULD MOSTLY HAPPEN
  • 00:04:36.165 --> 00:04:37.333
  • A PANIC ATTACK BEFOREAND THEY WOULD MOSTLY HAPPENAT NIGHT WHEN HE WAS TRYING
  • 00:04:37.333 --> 00:04:38.835
  • AND THEY WOULD MOSTLY HAPPENAT NIGHT WHEN HE WAS TRYINGTO FALL ASLEEP AT NIGHT.
  • 00:04:38.835 --> 00:04:40.002
  • AT NIGHT WHEN HE WAS TRYINGTO FALL ASLEEP AT NIGHT.IT WOULD COME ON WITH
  • 00:04:40.002 --> 00:04:41.771
  • TO FALL ASLEEP AT NIGHT.IT WOULD COME ON WITHTHIS ACHE AND INTENSE PAIN
  • 00:04:41.771 --> 00:04:43.072
  • IT WOULD COME ON WITHTHIS ACHE AND INTENSE PAININ HIS CHEST AND IT WOULD JUST
  • 00:04:43.072 --> 00:04:45.641
  • THIS ACHE AND INTENSE PAININ HIS CHEST AND IT WOULD JUSTSPREAD THROUGHOUT HIS BODY.
  • 00:04:45.641 --> 00:04:47.243
  • IN HIS CHEST AND IT WOULD JUSTSPREAD THROUGHOUT HIS BODY.I WILL NEVER FORGET HIS EYES.
  • 00:04:47.243 --> 00:04:48.678
  • SPREAD THROUGHOUT HIS BODY.I WILL NEVER FORGET HIS EYES.HIS EYES WOULD GLAZE OVER
  • 00:04:48.678 --> 00:04:49.812
  • I WILL NEVER FORGET HIS EYES.HIS EYES WOULD GLAZE OVERAND HE WOULD BE GONE.
  • 00:04:49.812 --> 00:04:50.980
  • HIS EYES WOULD GLAZE OVERAND HE WOULD BE GONE.THERE WOULD BE NOTHING
  • 00:04:50.980 --> 00:04:52.482
  • AND HE WOULD BE GONE.THERE WOULD BE NOTHINGTHAT I COULD DO TO REACH HIM.
  • 00:04:52.482 --> 00:04:53.649
  • THERE WOULD BE NOTHINGTHAT I COULD DO TO REACH HIM.I JUST HAD TO WAIT IT OUT
  • 00:04:53.649 --> 00:04:55.651
  • THAT I COULD DO TO REACH HIM.I JUST HAD TO WAIT IT OUTUNTIL THE FEAR SUBSIDED.
  • 00:04:55.651 --> 00:04:56.886
  • I JUST HAD TO WAIT IT OUTUNTIL THE FEAR SUBSIDED.SO THOSE WERE HAPPENING
  • 00:04:56.886 --> 00:04:59.355
  • UNTIL THE FEAR SUBSIDED.SO THOSE WERE HAPPENINGTWO TO THREE TIMES A WEEK.
  • 00:04:59.355 --> 00:05:00.757
  • SO THOSE WERE HAPPENINGTWO TO THREE TIMES A WEEK.AT FIRST HE WAS ABLE TO
  • 00:05:00.757 --> 00:05:03.659
  • TWO TO THREE TIMES A WEEK.AT FIRST HE WAS ABLE TOMAINTAIN THEM BUT OVER TIME
  • 00:05:03.659 --> 00:05:04.894
  • AT FIRST HE WAS ABLE TOMAINTAIN THEM BUT OVER TIMETHEY GREW AND THEY STARTED
  • 00:05:04.894 --> 00:05:06.295
  • MAINTAIN THEM BUT OVER TIMETHEY GREW AND THEY STARTEDHAPPENING DURING THE DAY,
  • 00:05:06.295 --> 00:05:07.697
  • THEY GREW AND THEY STARTEDHAPPENING DURING THE DAY,AND EVENTUALLY LANDED HIM
  • 00:05:07.697 --> 00:05:08.965
  • HAPPENING DURING THE DAY,AND EVENTUALLY LANDED HIMIN THE HOSPITAL.
  • 00:05:08.965 --> 00:05:10.133
  • AND EVENTUALLY LANDED HIMIN THE HOSPITAL.THAT'S WHEN WE DECIDED
  • 00:05:10.133 --> 00:05:11.734
  • HE'S BEEN HAVING THESE --
  • 00:05:12.835 --> 00:05:13.936
  • HE'S BEEN HAVING THESE --HE'D BEEN HAVING THEM
  • 00:05:13.936 --> 00:05:15.138
  • HE'D BEEN HAVING THEMFOR MONTHS.
  • 00:05:15.138 --> 00:05:16.239
  • FOR MONTHS.THE DOCTORS WERE NOT FINDING
  • 00:05:16.239 --> 00:05:17.407
  • THE DOCTORS WERE NOT FINDINGANYTHING WRONG WITH HIM.
  • 00:05:17.407 --> 00:05:18.708
  • WHERE ARE THESE COMING FROM?
  • 00:05:19.776 --> 00:05:20.943
  • WHERE ARE THESE COMING FROM?WHY ARE THEY HAPPENING?
  • 00:05:20.943 --> 00:05:22.712
  • WHERE ARE THESE COMING FROM?WHY ARE THEY HAPPENING?WHY IS HE BEING SO DEBILITATED
  • 00:05:22.712 --> 00:05:23.913
  • WHY ARE THEY HAPPENING?WHY IS HE BEING SO DEBILITATEDBY THEM AND WHY AREN'T
  • 00:05:23.913 --> 00:05:25.381
  • WHY IS HE BEING SO DEBILITATEDBY THEM AND WHY AREN'TTHEY GOING AWAY?
  • 00:05:25.381 --> 00:05:26.549
  • BY THEM AND WHY AREN'TTHEY GOING AWAY?SO WE PUT HIM ON
  • 00:05:26.549 --> 00:05:27.717
  • THEY GOING AWAY?SO WE PUT HIM ONTHIS SABBATICAL AND IT WAS
  • 00:05:27.717 --> 00:05:28.885
  • SO WE PUT HIM ONTHIS SABBATICAL AND IT WASTHEN THAT HE WAS DIAGNOSED
  • 00:05:28.885 --> 00:05:30.820
  • Randy: I THINK THE DIFFICULTY,
  • 00:05:32.021 --> 00:05:33.256
  • Randy: I THINK THE DIFFICULTY,ESPECIALLY FOR PEOPLE
  • 00:05:33.256 --> 00:05:34.490
  • ESPECIALLY FOR PEOPLEIN THE CHURCH, KAYLA
  • 00:05:34.490 --> 00:05:35.558
  • IN THE CHURCH, KAYLAIS THAT WHEN WE LOOK AT
  • 00:05:35.558 --> 00:05:36.726
  • IS THAT WHEN WE LOOK ATSOMETHING LIKE THIS,
  • 00:05:36.726 --> 00:05:38.060
  • THAT IS SPIRITUAL,
  • 00:05:39.962 --> 00:05:41.664
  • THAT IS SPIRITUAL,THAT IS EMOTIONAL,
  • 00:05:41.664 --> 00:05:44.867
  • THAT IS SPIRITUAL,THAT IS EMOTIONAL,AND IT IS PHYSICAL.
  • 00:05:44.867 --> 00:05:46.369
  • THAT IS EMOTIONAL,AND IT IS PHYSICAL.A LOT OF TIMES,
  • 00:05:46.369 --> 00:05:47.904
  • AND IT IS PHYSICAL.A LOT OF TIMES,IT IS DIFFICULT FOR EVEN
  • 00:05:47.904 --> 00:05:49.172
  • A LOT OF TIMES,IT IS DIFFICULT FOR EVENTHE MEDICAL COMMUNITY
  • 00:05:49.172 --> 00:05:50.273
  • IT IS DIFFICULT FOR EVENTHE MEDICAL COMMUNITYSOMETIMES TO KNOW HOW
  • 00:05:50.273 --> 00:05:51.474
  • THE MEDICAL COMMUNITYSOMETIMES TO KNOW HOWTO DEAL WITH IT PROPERLY,
  • 00:05:51.474 --> 00:05:53.309
  • SOMETIMES TO KNOW HOWTO DEAL WITH IT PROPERLY,AND IN THE CHURCH AS WELL.
  • 00:05:53.309 --> 00:05:55.945
  • TO DEAL WITH IT PROPERLY,AND IN THE CHURCH AS WELL.WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUT
  • 00:05:55.945 --> 00:05:57.613
  • AND IN THE CHURCH AS WELL.WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUTTHIS WHOLE BALANCE BETWEEN
  • 00:05:57.613 --> 00:06:00.349
  • WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUTTHIS WHOLE BALANCE BETWEENTHE BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT
  • 00:06:00.349 --> 00:06:03.052
  • THIS WHOLE BALANCE BETWEENTHE BODY, MIND, AND SPIRITAND HOW THESE SORTS OF THINGS,
  • 00:06:03.052 --> 00:06:05.087
  • THE BODY, MIND, AND SPIRITAND HOW THESE SORTS OF THINGS,THEY CAN CROSS THEM?
  • 00:06:05.087 --> 00:06:06.756
  • AND HOW THESE SORTS OF THINGS,THEY CAN CROSS THEM?AND THEY CAN BE COMPLICATED.
  • 00:06:06.756 --> 00:06:08.791
  • THEY CAN CROSS THEM?AND THEY CAN BE COMPLICATED.WHAT'S YOUR EXPERIENCE?
  • 00:06:08.791 --> 00:06:10.059
  • AND THEY CAN BE COMPLICATED.WHAT'S YOUR EXPERIENCE?Kayla: YOU'RE EXACTLY RIGHT.
  • 00:06:10.059 --> 00:06:11.427
  • WHAT'S YOUR EXPERIENCE?Kayla: YOU'RE EXACTLY RIGHT.I'LL NEVER FORGET ANDREW'S
  • 00:06:11.427 --> 00:06:12.695
  • Kayla: YOU'RE EXACTLY RIGHT.I'LL NEVER FORGET ANDREW'SPSYCHIATRIST TELLING US
  • 00:06:12.695 --> 00:06:13.996
  • I'LL NEVER FORGET ANDREW'SPSYCHIATRIST TELLING USTHAT WE KNOW A DROP
  • 00:06:13.996 --> 00:06:15.665
  • PSYCHIATRIST TELLING USTHAT WE KNOW A DROPIN THE OCEAN OF THE BRAIN.
  • 00:06:15.665 --> 00:06:16.966
  • THAT WE KNOW A DROPIN THE OCEAN OF THE BRAIN.THE BRAIN IS A MYSTERY,
  • 00:06:16.966 --> 00:06:18.301
  • IN THE OCEAN OF THE BRAIN.THE BRAIN IS A MYSTERY,THE MIND IS A MYSTERY.
  • 00:06:18.301 --> 00:06:19.602
  • THE BRAIN IS A MYSTERY,THE MIND IS A MYSTERY.THERE IS SO MUCH WE DO NOT
  • 00:06:19.602 --> 00:06:21.103
  • THE MIND IS A MYSTERY.THERE IS SO MUCH WE DO NOTKNOW ABOUT THE HUMAN MIND.
  • 00:06:21.103 --> 00:06:22.104
  • THERE IS SO MUCH WE DO NOTKNOW ABOUT THE HUMAN MIND.IT IS SO COMPLEX.
  • 00:06:22.104 --> 00:06:23.339
  • KNOW ABOUT THE HUMAN MIND.IT IS SO COMPLEX.I THINK THAT'S WHAT'S
  • 00:06:23.339 --> 00:06:24.407
  • IT IS SO COMPLEX.I THINK THAT'S WHAT'SSO CONFUSING ABOUT MENTAL
  • 00:06:24.407 --> 00:06:26.075
  • I THINK THAT'S WHAT'SSO CONFUSING ABOUT MENTALILLNESS AND TRYING TO TREAT
  • 00:06:26.075 --> 00:06:27.910
  • SO CONFUSING ABOUT MENTALILLNESS AND TRYING TO TREATAND APPROACH MENTAL ILLNESS.
  • 00:06:27.910 --> 00:06:29.011
  • ILLNESS AND TRYING TO TREATAND APPROACH MENTAL ILLNESS.THERE IS SO MANY
  • 00:06:29.011 --> 00:06:31.113
  • AND APPROACH MENTAL ILLNESS.THERE IS SO MANYDIFFERENT WAYS TO DO THAT.
  • 00:06:31.113 --> 00:06:32.315
  • THERE IS SO MANYDIFFERENT WAYS TO DO THAT.AND SO SOMETIMES MEDICATION
  • 00:06:32.315 --> 00:06:33.583
  • DIFFERENT WAYS TO DO THAT.AND SO SOMETIMES MEDICATIONWORKS AND IT IS HEALING
  • 00:06:33.583 --> 00:06:34.784
  • AND SO SOMETIMES MEDICATIONWORKS AND IT IS HEALINGAND THEY'RE ABLE
  • 00:06:34.784 --> 00:06:35.852
  • WORKS AND IT IS HEALINGAND THEY'RE ABLETO BE HEALED THAT WAY.
  • 00:06:35.852 --> 00:06:36.986
  • AND THEY'RE ABLETO BE HEALED THAT WAY.SOMETIMES THERE IS
  • 00:06:36.986 --> 00:06:38.020
  • TO BE HEALED THAT WAY.SOMETIMES THERE ISSUPERNATURAL PRAYER
  • 00:06:38.020 --> 00:06:39.088
  • SOMETIMES THERE ISSUPERNATURAL PRAYERAND THAT WORKS AND
  • 00:06:39.088 --> 00:06:40.156
  • SUPERNATURAL PRAYERAND THAT WORKS ANDTHEY'RE HEALED AND THEY NEVER
  • 00:06:40.156 --> 00:06:41.290
  • AND THAT WORKS ANDTHEY'RE HEALED AND THEY NEVERSUFFER FROM DEPRESSION AGAIN
  • 00:06:41.290 --> 00:06:42.525
  • THEY'RE HEALED AND THEY NEVERSUFFER FROM DEPRESSION AGAINOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AGAIN.
  • 00:06:42.525 --> 00:06:43.593
  • SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION AGAINOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AGAIN.SOMETIMES JUST CHANGING
  • 00:06:43.593 --> 00:06:45.061
  • OR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AGAIN.SOMETIMES JUST CHANGINGYOUR DIET AND EXERCISING AND
  • 00:06:45.061 --> 00:06:47.296
  • SOMETIMES JUST CHANGINGYOUR DIET AND EXERCISING ANDGETTING MORE REST CAN HELP.
  • 00:06:47.296 --> 00:06:49.031
  • YOUR DIET AND EXERCISING ANDGETTING MORE REST CAN HELP.THERE'S NO ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL
  • 00:06:49.031 --> 00:06:50.099
  • GETTING MORE REST CAN HELP.THERE'S NO ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALLAPPROACH.
  • 00:06:50.099 --> 00:06:51.234
  • THERE'S NO ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALLAPPROACH.I THINK THAT'S BEEN
  • 00:06:51.234 --> 00:06:52.301
  • APPROACH.I THINK THAT'S BEENTHE BIGGEST TAKEAWAY FOR ME
  • 00:06:52.301 --> 00:06:53.336
  • I THINK THAT'S BEENTHE BIGGEST TAKEAWAY FOR MEAND MAYBE A MISCONCEPTION
  • 00:06:53.336 --> 00:06:54.403
  • THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAY FOR MEAND MAYBE A MISCONCEPTIONTHAT I HELD BEFORE IS THAT
  • 00:06:54.403 --> 00:06:55.738
  • AND MAYBE A MISCONCEPTIONTHAT I HELD BEFORE IS THATTHERE IS NO ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL
  • 00:06:55.738 --> 00:06:56.772
  • THAT I HELD BEFORE IS THATTHERE IS NO ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALLAPPROACH WHEN IT COMES
  • 00:06:56.772 --> 00:06:58.241
  • THERE IS NO ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALLAPPROACH WHEN IT COMESTO MENTAL ILLNESS.
  • 00:06:58.241 --> 00:06:59.575
  • APPROACH WHEN IT COMESTO MENTAL ILLNESS.YOU'RE RIGHT, IT IS ALL OF IT.
  • 00:06:59.575 --> 00:07:01.811
  • TO MENTAL ILLNESS.YOU'RE RIGHT, IT IS ALL OF IT.FOR US IT WAS SPIRITUAL,
  • 00:07:01.811 --> 00:07:03.212
  • YOU'RE RIGHT, IT IS ALL OF IT.FOR US IT WAS SPIRITUAL,IT WAS PHYSICAL,
  • 00:07:03.212 --> 00:07:05.147
  • FOR US IT WAS SPIRITUAL,IT WAS PHYSICAL,IT WAS BURNOUT.
  • 00:07:05.147 --> 00:07:06.516
  • IT WAS PHYSICAL,IT WAS BURNOUT.HE HAD BEEN RUNNING SO HARD
  • 00:07:06.516 --> 00:07:07.884
  • IT WAS BURNOUT.HE HAD BEEN RUNNING SO HARDAND SO FAST IN MINISTRY
  • 00:07:07.884 --> 00:07:09.619
  • HE HAD BEEN RUNNING SO HARDAND SO FAST IN MINISTRYFOR SO LONG.
  • 00:07:09.619 --> 00:07:10.820
  • AND SO FAST IN MINISTRYFOR SO LONG.HE WAS 23 YEARS OLD
  • 00:07:10.820 --> 00:07:12.054
  • FOR SO LONG.HE WAS 23 YEARS OLDWHEN HIS DAD WAS DIAGNOSED
  • 00:07:12.054 --> 00:07:13.322
  • HE WAS 23 YEARS OLDWHEN HIS DAD WAS DIAGNOSEDWITH LEUKEMIA AND HE REALLY
  • 00:07:13.322 --> 00:07:14.490
  • WHEN HIS DAD WAS DIAGNOSEDWITH LEUKEMIA AND HE REALLYSTEPPED UP TO THE PLATE
  • 00:07:14.490 --> 00:07:16.125
  • WITH LEUKEMIA AND HE REALLYSTEPPED UP TO THE PLATEAND HELPED LEAD THE CHURCH
  • 00:07:16.125 --> 00:07:17.360
  • STEPPED UP TO THE PLATEAND HELPED LEAD THE CHURCHTHROUGH THAT SEASON.
  • 00:07:17.360 --> 00:07:18.427
  • AND HELPED LEAD THE CHURCHTHROUGH THAT SEASON.AND THEN HE TOOK OVER THE
  • 00:07:18.427 --> 00:07:19.795
  • THROUGH THAT SEASON.AND THEN HE TOOK OVER THECHURCH AND HE NEVER STOPPED,
  • 00:07:19.795 --> 00:07:21.230
  • AND THEN HE TOOK OVER THECHURCH AND HE NEVER STOPPED,HE JUST KEPT GOING.
  • 00:07:21.230 --> 00:07:23.466
  • CHURCH AND HE NEVER STOPPED,HE JUST KEPT GOING.PHYSICALLY, HE WAS EXHAUSTED,
  • 00:07:23.466 --> 00:07:24.834
  • HE JUST KEPT GOING.PHYSICALLY, HE WAS EXHAUSTED,MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY
  • 00:07:24.834 --> 00:07:26.002
  • PHYSICALLY, HE WAS EXHAUSTED,MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLYHE WAS EXHAUSTED.
  • 00:07:26.002 --> 00:07:27.069
  • MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLYHE WAS EXHAUSTED.HE NEVER TOOK TIME OFF
  • 00:07:27.069 --> 00:07:28.104
  • HE WAS EXHAUSTED.HE NEVER TOOK TIME OFFTO GRIEVE THE LOSS
  • 00:07:28.104 --> 00:07:29.372
  • HE NEVER TOOK TIME OFFTO GRIEVE THE LOSSOF HIS FATHER.
  • 00:07:29.372 --> 00:07:30.473
  • TO GRIEVE THE LOSSOF HIS FATHER.AND HE WAS UNDER SPIRITUAL
  • 00:07:30.473 --> 00:07:31.641
  • OF HIS FATHER.AND HE WAS UNDER SPIRITUALATTACK.
  • 00:07:31.641 --> 00:07:32.642
  • AND HE WAS UNDER SPIRITUALATTACK.LIKE THAT WAS A PART OF
  • 00:07:32.642 --> 00:07:33.743
  • ATTACK.LIKE THAT WAS A PART OFOUR JOURNEY, WHICH I KNOW
  • 00:07:33.743 --> 00:07:34.777
  • LIKE THAT WAS A PART OFOUR JOURNEY, WHICH I KNOWIS PROBABLY NOT A PART
  • 00:07:34.777 --> 00:07:35.811
  • OUR JOURNEY, WHICH I KNOWIS PROBABLY NOT A PARTOF EVERYBODY'S JOURNEY
  • 00:07:35.811 --> 00:07:36.879
  • IS PROBABLY NOT A PARTOF EVERYBODY'S JOURNEYAND EVERYBODY HAS THEIR
  • 00:07:36.879 --> 00:07:37.947
  • OF EVERYBODY'S JOURNEYAND EVERYBODY HAS THEIROWN UNIQUE JOURNEY
  • 00:07:37.947 --> 00:07:39.015
  • AND EVERYBODY HAS THEIROWN UNIQUE JOURNEYWITH MENTAL ILLNESS.
  • 00:07:39.015 --> 00:07:40.049
  • OWN UNIQUE JOURNEYWITH MENTAL ILLNESS.BUT THERE IS A WHOLE CHAPTER
  • 00:07:40.049 --> 00:07:41.083
  • WITH MENTAL ILLNESS.BUT THERE IS A WHOLE CHAPTERIN THE BOOK THAT I WROTE
  • 00:07:41.083 --> 00:07:42.151
  • BUT THERE IS A WHOLE CHAPTERIN THE BOOK THAT I WROTECALLED "STRANGER THINGS"
  • 00:07:42.151 --> 00:07:43.152
  • IN THE BOOK THAT I WROTECALLED "STRANGER THINGS"WHERE I TALK ABOUT
  • 00:07:43.152 --> 00:07:44.153
  • CALLED "STRANGER THINGS"WHERE I TALK ABOUTTHESE ENCOUNTERS THAT
  • 00:07:44.153 --> 00:07:45.388
  • WHERE I TALK ABOUTTHESE ENCOUNTERS THATHE HAD WITH WHAT
  • 00:07:45.388 --> 00:07:46.722
  • THESE ENCOUNTERS THATHE HAD WITH WHATHE DESCRIBED AS CREATURES.
  • 00:07:46.722 --> 00:07:47.857
  • HE HAD WITH WHATHE DESCRIBED AS CREATURES.LIKE HE REALLY FELT LIKE
  • 00:07:47.857 --> 00:07:49.458
  • HE DESCRIBED AS CREATURES.LIKE HE REALLY FELT LIKEHE WAS BEING OPPRESSED BY
  • 00:07:49.458 --> 00:07:51.027
  • LIKE HE REALLY FELT LIKEHE WAS BEING OPPRESSED BYTHE ENEMY AND THAT WAS
  • 00:07:51.027 --> 00:07:54.030
  • HE WAS BEING OPPRESSED BYTHE ENEMY AND THAT WASA MAJOR PART OF THE CONFUSION.
  • 00:07:54.030 --> 00:07:55.665
  • THE ENEMY AND THAT WASA MAJOR PART OF THE CONFUSION.AND JUST THE DARKNESS.
  • 00:07:55.665 --> 00:07:57.166
  • A MAJOR PART OF THE CONFUSION.AND JUST THE DARKNESS.I KNOW THAT CAN BE
  • 00:07:57.166 --> 00:07:58.367
  • AND JUST THE DARKNESS.I KNOW THAT CAN BEA STIGMATIZING WORD
  • 00:07:58.367 --> 00:07:59.769
  • I KNOW THAT CAN BEA STIGMATIZING WORDFOR MENTAL ILLNESS BUT
  • 00:07:59.769 --> 00:08:00.903
  • A STIGMATIZING WORDFOR MENTAL ILLNESS BUTIN MY EXPERIENCE IT REALLY
  • 00:08:00.903 --> 00:08:02.605
  • FOR MENTAL ILLNESS BUTIN MY EXPERIENCE IT REALLYDID FEEL LIKE THERE WAS JUST
  • 00:08:02.605 --> 00:08:04.140
  • IN MY EXPERIENCE IT REALLYDID FEEL LIKE THERE WAS JUSTTHIS DARK CLOUD THAT WAS
  • 00:08:04.140 --> 00:08:05.741
  • DID FEEL LIKE THERE WAS JUSTTHIS DARK CLOUD THAT WASCOVERING MY HUSBAND,
  • 00:08:05.741 --> 00:08:07.343
  • AND WE COULDN'T GET OUT OF IT.
  • 00:08:09.545 --> 00:08:11.013
  • AND WE COULDN'T GET OUT OF IT.WE WERE REALLY JUST CONSUMED
  • 00:08:11.013 --> 00:08:13.282
  • WE WERE REALLY JUST CONSUMEDBY THIS DARK CLOUD OF FEAR,
  • 00:08:13.282 --> 00:08:15.084
  • OF ANXIETY
  • 00:08:16.152 --> 00:08:18.154
  • OF ANXIETYAND OF SPIRITUAL WARFARE.
  • 00:08:18.154 --> 00:08:19.221
  • WHEN I WAS READING YOUR BOOK,
  • 00:08:20.289 --> 00:08:21.357
  • WHEN I WAS READING YOUR BOOK,WONDERING WHAT WAS HAPPENING
  • 00:08:21.357 --> 00:08:22.558
  • WONDERING WHAT WAS HAPPENINGWITH YOU DURING THAT TIME.
  • 00:08:22.558 --> 00:08:23.626
  • WITH YOU DURING THAT TIME.BECAUSE YOU'RE A MOM,
  • 00:08:23.626 --> 00:08:24.994
  • YOU'VE GOT A HUSBAND WHO NOW
  • 00:08:26.329 --> 00:08:28.030
  • YOU'VE GOT A HUSBAND WHO NOWHAS A DIAGNOSIS OF DEPRESSION
  • 00:08:28.030 --> 00:08:29.432
  • YOU'VE GOT A HUSBAND WHO NOWHAS A DIAGNOSIS OF DEPRESSIONWHO IS ON MEDICATION
  • 00:08:29.432 --> 00:08:30.666
  • HAS A DIAGNOSIS OF DEPRESSIONWHO IS ON MEDICATIONAND IS KIND OF RETREATING
  • 00:08:30.666 --> 00:08:32.735
  • WHO IS ON MEDICATIONAND IS KIND OF RETREATINGINTO HIS OWN WORLD.
  • 00:08:32.735 --> 00:08:33.803
  • AND IS KIND OF RETREATINGINTO HIS OWN WORLD.WHAT WAS GOING ON
  • 00:08:33.803 --> 00:08:35.071
  • INTO HIS OWN WORLD.WHAT WAS GOING ONIN YOUR LIFE, KAYLA?
  • 00:08:35.071 --> 00:08:36.138
  • WHAT WAS GOING ONIN YOUR LIFE, KAYLA?WERE THERE TIMES WHERE
  • 00:08:36.138 --> 00:08:37.306
  • IN YOUR LIFE, KAYLA?WERE THERE TIMES WHEREYOU WERE ANGRY, WERE YOU
  • 00:08:37.306 --> 00:08:40.276
  • WERE THERE TIMES WHEREYOU WERE ANGRY, WERE YOUCONFUSED, WERE YOU AFRAID?
  • 00:08:40.276 --> 00:08:41.744
  • YOU WERE ANGRY, WERE YOUCONFUSED, WERE YOU AFRAID?Kayla: IT WAS SO HARD.
  • 00:08:41.744 --> 00:08:42.812
  • CONFUSED, WERE YOU AFRAID?Kayla: IT WAS SO HARD.I WOULD WALK AROUND
  • 00:08:42.812 --> 00:08:44.747
  • Kayla: IT WAS SO HARD.I WOULD WALK AROUNDMY HOUSE AND I WOULD SAY,
  • 00:08:44.747 --> 00:08:45.848
  • I WOULD WALK AROUNDMY HOUSE AND I WOULD SAY,"THIS IS THE SUMMER
  • 00:08:45.848 --> 00:08:47.016
  • MY HOUSE AND I WOULD SAY,"THIS IS THE SUMMERFROM HELL."
  • 00:08:47.016 --> 00:08:48.351
  • "THIS IS THE SUMMERFROM HELL."I WOULD SAY THAT OUT LOUD.
  • 00:08:48.351 --> 00:08:49.752
  • FROM HELL."I WOULD SAY THAT OUT LOUD.IT REALLY WAS.
  • 00:08:49.752 --> 00:08:51.087
  • I WOULD SAY THAT OUT LOUD.IT REALLY WAS.IT WAS SO HARD.
  • 00:08:51.087 --> 00:08:52.221
  • IT REALLY WAS.IT WAS SO HARD.LIKE I SAID EARLIER
  • 00:08:52.221 --> 00:08:53.289
  • IT WAS SO HARD.LIKE I SAID EARLIERTHERE WAS NOTHING
  • 00:08:53.289 --> 00:08:54.457
  • LIKE I SAID EARLIERTHERE WAS NOTHINGI COULD DO TO HELP.
  • 00:08:54.457 --> 00:08:55.491
  • THERE WAS NOTHINGI COULD DO TO HELP.I WOULD KEEP TRYING AND
  • 00:08:55.491 --> 00:08:56.592
  • I COULD DO TO HELP.I WOULD KEEP TRYING ANDI WOULD KEEP TRYING AND
  • 00:08:56.592 --> 00:08:57.593
  • I WOULD KEEP TRYING ANDI WOULD KEEP TRYING ANDI WOULD KEEP TRYING AND
  • 00:08:57.593 --> 00:08:58.661
  • I WOULD KEEP TRYING ANDI WOULD KEEP TRYING ANDIT REALLY FELT LIKE THERE WAS
  • 00:08:58.661 --> 00:08:59.762
  • I WOULD KEEP TRYING ANDIT REALLY FELT LIKE THERE WASNOTHING THAT I COULD DO
  • 00:08:59.762 --> 00:09:00.796
  • IT REALLY FELT LIKE THERE WASNOTHING THAT I COULD DOTO HELP EXCEPT FOR TAKE CARE
  • 00:09:00.796 --> 00:09:01.864
  • NOTHING THAT I COULD DOTO HELP EXCEPT FOR TAKE CAREOF THE KIDS AND KIND OF
  • 00:09:01.864 --> 00:09:03.099
  • TO HELP EXCEPT FOR TAKE CAREOF THE KIDS AND KIND OFKEEP THEM AWAY FROM THEIR
  • 00:09:03.099 --> 00:09:04.367
  • OF THE KIDS AND KIND OFKEEP THEM AWAY FROM THEIRDAD SO THAT HE COULD REST,
  • 00:09:04.367 --> 00:09:05.635
  • KEEP THEM AWAY FROM THEIRDAD SO THAT HE COULD REST,AND CREATE AS MUCH SPACE
  • 00:09:05.635 --> 00:09:07.837
  • DAD SO THAT HE COULD REST,AND CREATE AS MUCH SPACEAS I COULD FOR HIM TO REST.
  • 00:09:07.837 --> 00:09:09.205
  • AND CREATE AS MUCH SPACEAS I COULD FOR HIM TO REST.I EVEN GOT INVOLVED WITH
  • 00:09:09.205 --> 00:09:10.373
  • AS I COULD FOR HIM TO REST.I EVEN GOT INVOLVED WITHTHE CHURCH STUFF AND WAS LIKE,
  • 00:09:10.373 --> 00:09:11.674
  • I EVEN GOT INVOLVED WITHTHE CHURCH STUFF AND WAS LIKE,"IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM,
  • 00:09:11.674 --> 00:09:12.775
  • THE CHURCH STUFF AND WAS LIKE,"IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM,BECAUSE HE IS ON A SABBATICAL,
  • 00:09:12.775 --> 00:09:13.843
  • "IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM,BECAUSE HE IS ON A SABBATICAL,DON'T TALK TO HIM.
  • 00:09:13.843 --> 00:09:15.011
  • BECAUSE HE IS ON A SABBATICAL,DON'T TALK TO HIM.IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM,
  • 00:09:15.011 --> 00:09:16.045
  • DON'T TALK TO HIM.IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM,COME TO ME.
  • 00:09:16.045 --> 00:09:17.113
  • IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM,COME TO ME.I'LL DEAL WITH IT.
  • 00:09:17.113 --> 00:09:18.214
  • COME TO ME.I'LL DEAL WITH IT.I'LL ANSWER THE PHONE CALL.
  • 00:09:18.214 --> 00:09:19.315
  • I'LL DEAL WITH IT.I'LL ANSWER THE PHONE CALL.I'LL HELP YOU NAVIGATE
  • 00:09:19.315 --> 00:09:20.583
  • I'LL ANSWER THE PHONE CALL.I'LL HELP YOU NAVIGATEA SOLUTION."
  • 00:09:20.583 --> 00:09:21.717
  • I'LL HELP YOU NAVIGATEA SOLUTION."SO I REALLY WAS TAKING ON
  • 00:09:21.717 --> 00:09:23.285
  • A SOLUTION."SO I REALLY WAS TAKING ONA LOT.
  • 00:09:23.285 --> 00:09:24.520
  • SO I REALLY WAS TAKING ONA LOT.I WAS "CO-BURDENING
  • 00:09:24.520 --> 00:09:25.788
  • A LOT.I WAS "CO-BURDENINGHIS DEPRESSION" IS WHAT
  • 00:09:25.788 --> 00:09:26.856
  • I WAS "CO-BURDENINGHIS DEPRESSION" IS WHATOUR THERAPIST EXPLAINED
  • 00:09:26.856 --> 00:09:28.024
  • HIS DEPRESSION" IS WHATOUR THERAPIST EXPLAINEDTO US.
  • 00:09:28.024 --> 00:09:29.091
  • OUR THERAPIST EXPLAINEDTO US.LIKE I WAS JUST GETTING
  • 00:09:29.091 --> 00:09:30.359
  • TO US.LIKE I WAS JUST GETTINGA SMALL TASTE OF
  • 00:09:30.359 --> 00:09:31.761
  • LIKE I WAS JUST GETTINGA SMALL TASTE OFHIS DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY
  • 00:09:31.761 --> 00:09:32.795
  • A SMALL TASTE OFHIS DEPRESSION AND ANXIETYAND THAT DARK CLOUD THAT WAS
  • 00:09:32.795 --> 00:09:35.297
  • HIS DEPRESSION AND ANXIETYAND THAT DARK CLOUD THAT WASIN OUR HOME THAT SUMMER.
  • 00:09:35.297 --> 00:09:36.899
  • AND THAT DARK CLOUD THAT WASIN OUR HOME THAT SUMMER.I REALLY FELT THAT AS WELL.
  • 00:09:36.899 --> 00:09:38.734
  • IN OUR HOME THAT SUMMER.I REALLY FELT THAT AS WELL.I FELT FRUSTRATED WITH GOD.
  • 00:09:38.734 --> 00:09:41.070
  • I REALLY FELT THAT AS WELL.I FELT FRUSTRATED WITH GOD.IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT FOR
  • 00:09:41.070 --> 00:09:42.571
  • I FELT FRUSTRATED WITH GOD.IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT FORMY FAITH BECAUSE HERE
  • 00:09:42.571 --> 00:09:44.273
  • IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT FORMY FAITH BECAUSE HEREWE ARE SERVING GOD WITH
  • 00:09:44.273 --> 00:09:46.075
  • MY FAITH BECAUSE HEREWE ARE SERVING GOD WITHOUR LIFE AND DOING MINISTRY
  • 00:09:46.075 --> 00:09:47.476
  • WE ARE SERVING GOD WITHOUR LIFE AND DOING MINISTRYAND WE JUST LOST HIS DAD.
  • 00:09:47.476 --> 00:09:48.778
  • OUR LIFE AND DOING MINISTRYAND WE JUST LOST HIS DAD.AND NOW GOD'S ALLOWING
  • 00:09:48.778 --> 00:09:50.813
  • AND WE JUST LOST HIS DAD.AND NOW GOD'S ALLOWINGTHIS BIG SEASON OF DEPRESSION
  • 00:09:50.813 --> 00:09:52.014
  • AND NOW GOD'S ALLOWINGTHIS BIG SEASON OF DEPRESSIONTO HAPPEN.
  • 00:09:52.014 --> 00:09:53.149
  • THIS BIG SEASON OF DEPRESSIONTO HAPPEN.LIKE GOD, WHY ARE YOU
  • 00:09:53.149 --> 00:09:54.784
  • TO HAPPEN.LIKE GOD, WHY ARE YOUALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN?
  • 00:09:54.784 --> 00:09:55.918
  • LIKE GOD, WHY ARE YOUALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN?WHY AREN'T YOU INTERVENING?
  • 00:09:55.918 --> 00:09:57.920
  • ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN?WHY AREN'T YOU INTERVENING?WHY AREN'T YOU HEALING HIM?
  • 00:09:57.920 --> 00:09:58.954
  • WHY AREN'T YOU INTERVENING?WHY AREN'T YOU HEALING HIM?WE'RE PRAYING AND WE HAVE
  • 00:09:58.954 --> 00:10:00.423
  • WHY AREN'T YOU HEALING HIM?WE'RE PRAYING AND WE HAVEPEOPLE OVER TO OUR HOUSE
  • 00:10:00.423 --> 00:10:01.724
  • WE'RE PRAYING AND WE HAVEPEOPLE OVER TO OUR HOUSETO PRAY AND ANOINT HIM
  • 00:10:01.724 --> 00:10:03.092
  • PEOPLE OVER TO OUR HOUSETO PRAY AND ANOINT HIMWITH OIL AND IT JUST FELT
  • 00:10:03.092 --> 00:10:04.760
  • TO PRAY AND ANOINT HIMWITH OIL AND IT JUST FELTLIKE NOTHING WAS WORKING.
  • 00:10:04.760 --> 00:10:06.929
  • WITH OIL AND IT JUST FELTLIKE NOTHING WAS WORKING.I WAS LEFT JUST ASKING,
  • 00:10:06.929 --> 00:10:08.464
  • LIKE NOTHING WAS WORKING.I WAS LEFT JUST ASKING,WHERE ARE YOU GOD?
  • 00:10:08.464 --> 00:10:09.865
  • I WAS LEFT JUST ASKING,WHERE ARE YOU GOD?WHY AREN'T YOU FIXING THIS?
  • 00:10:09.865 --> 00:10:11.467
  • Randy: I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK
  • 00:10:13.035 --> 00:10:15.805
  • Randy: I CAN'T HELP BUT THINKGOD REALLY HAS WALKED YOU
  • 00:10:15.805 --> 00:10:17.506
  • AM I RIGHT?
  • 00:10:19.442 --> 00:10:20.810
  • AM I RIGHT?Kayla: YOU'RE RIGHT.
  • 00:10:20.810 --> 00:10:22.745
  • AM I RIGHT?Kayla: YOU'RE RIGHT.THAT WAS A FRUSTRATING PART
  • 00:10:22.745 --> 00:10:25.081
  • Kayla: YOU'RE RIGHT.THAT WAS A FRUSTRATING PARTOF IT BECAUSE ANDREW DIED
  • 00:10:25.081 --> 00:10:26.082
  • THAT WAS A FRUSTRATING PARTOF IT BECAUSE ANDREW DIEDAND THEN IT FELT LIKE
  • 00:10:26.082 --> 00:10:27.616
  • OF IT BECAUSE ANDREW DIEDAND THEN IT FELT LIKEGOD WAS EVERYWHERE,
  • 00:10:27.616 --> 00:10:28.951
  • AND THEN IT FELT LIKEGOD WAS EVERYWHERE,IN EVERYTHING,
  • 00:10:28.951 --> 00:10:30.019
  • GOD WAS EVERYWHERE,IN EVERYTHING,ALL OF THE TIME.
  • 00:10:30.019 --> 00:10:31.053
  • IN EVERYTHING,ALL OF THE TIME.IT WENT FROM THIS
  • 00:10:31.053 --> 00:10:32.054
  • ALL OF THE TIME.IT WENT FROM THISWILDERNESS SEASON WITH
  • 00:10:32.054 --> 00:10:33.122
  • IT WENT FROM THISWILDERNESS SEASON WITHTHE MENTAL ILLNESS WHERE
  • 00:10:33.122 --> 00:10:34.890
  • WILDERNESS SEASON WITHTHE MENTAL ILLNESS WHEREI'M LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU GOD?
  • 00:10:34.890 --> 00:10:36.459
  • THE MENTAL ILLNESS WHEREI'M LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU GOD?WHY AREN'T YOU FIXING THIS?
  • 00:10:36.459 --> 00:10:37.593
  • I'M LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU GOD?WHY AREN'T YOU FIXING THIS?AND THEN ANDREW DIES
  • 00:10:37.593 --> 00:10:38.928
  • WHY AREN'T YOU FIXING THIS?AND THEN ANDREW DIESAND GOD IS EVERYWHERE.
  • 00:10:38.928 --> 00:10:40.096
  • AND THEN ANDREW DIESAND GOD IS EVERYWHERE.AND THAT'S HOW IT'S BEEN.
  • 00:10:40.096 --> 00:10:41.597
  • AND GOD IS EVERYWHERE.AND THAT'S HOW IT'S BEEN.WE HAVE THIS MANTRA THAT
  • 00:10:41.597 --> 00:10:42.865
  • AND THAT'S HOW IT'S BEEN.WE HAVE THIS MANTRA THATWE HAVE AS A FAMILY CALLED,
  • 00:10:42.865 --> 00:10:44.333
  • WE HAVE THIS MANTRA THATWE HAVE AS A FAMILY CALLED,"GOD'S GOT THIS."
  • 00:10:44.333 --> 00:10:46.001
  • WE HAVE AS A FAMILY CALLED,"GOD'S GOT THIS."AND IT WAS THIS PHRASE
  • 00:10:46.001 --> 00:10:47.570
  • "GOD'S GOT THIS."AND IT WAS THIS PHRASETHAT MEANT SO MUCH TO US
  • 00:10:47.570 --> 00:10:48.604
  • AND IT WAS THIS PHRASETHAT MEANT SO MUCH TO USWHEN MY FATHER-IN-LAW WAS
  • 00:10:48.604 --> 00:10:50.139
  • THAT MEANT SO MUCH TO USWHEN MY FATHER-IN-LAW WASWALKING THROUGH LEUKEMIA.
  • 00:10:50.139 --> 00:10:51.307
  • WHEN MY FATHER-IN-LAW WASWALKING THROUGH LEUKEMIA.AND OUR CHURCH MADE
  • 00:10:51.307 --> 00:10:53.109
  • WALKING THROUGH LEUKEMIA.AND OUR CHURCH MADEWRISTBANDS, WE HAD A WEBSITE,
  • 00:10:53.109 --> 00:10:54.410
  • AND OUR CHURCH MADEWRISTBANDS, WE HAD A WEBSITE,WE REALLY CLUNG TO THOSE
  • 00:10:54.410 --> 00:10:55.911
  • WRISTBANDS, WE HAD A WEBSITE,WE REALLY CLUNG TO THOSEWORDS, "GOD'S GOT THIS."
  • 00:10:55.911 --> 00:10:57.313
  • WE REALLY CLUNG TO THOSEWORDS, "GOD'S GOT THIS."AND THROUGH ANDREW'S
  • 00:10:57.313 --> 00:10:58.447
  • WORDS, "GOD'S GOT THIS."AND THROUGH ANDREW'SMENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY
  • 00:10:58.447 --> 00:11:00.049
  • AND THROUGH ANDREW'SMENTAL HEALTH JOURNEYAND THROUGH THE SUICIDE
  • 00:11:00.049 --> 00:11:01.217
  • MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEYAND THROUGH THE SUICIDEAND THROUGH OUR GRIEF JOURNEY
  • 00:11:01.217 --> 00:11:02.918
  • AND THROUGH THE SUICIDEAND THROUGH OUR GRIEF JOURNEYIT'S JUST BEEN THIS PHRASE
  • 00:11:02.918 --> 00:11:04.286
  • AND THROUGH OUR GRIEF JOURNEYIT'S JUST BEEN THIS PHRASETHAT'S MEANT SO MUCH TO US.
  • 00:11:04.286 --> 00:11:05.554
  • IT'S JUST BEEN THIS PHRASETHAT'S MEANT SO MUCH TO US.AND TO ME, IT MEANS THAT
  • 00:11:05.554 --> 00:11:07.156
  • THAT'S MEANT SO MUCH TO US.AND TO ME, IT MEANS THATGOD IS SOVEREIGN
  • 00:11:07.156 --> 00:11:08.624
  • AND TO ME, IT MEANS THATGOD IS SOVEREIGNOVER ALL OF IT.
  • 00:11:08.624 --> 00:11:10.092
  • WHY GOD ALLOWED THIS TO BE
  • 00:11:11.727 --> 00:11:13.496
  • WHY GOD ALLOWED THIS TO BEFILTERED THROUGH HIS HANDS
  • 00:11:13.496 --> 00:11:15.131
  • FILTERED THROUGH HIS HANDSBUT I REALLY DEEPLY BELIEVE
  • 00:11:15.131 --> 00:11:16.766
  • BUT I REALLY DEEPLY BELIEVETHAT HE IS STILL GOOD,
  • 00:11:16.766 --> 00:11:18.400
  • FOR MY LIFE AND FOR
  • 00:11:19.702 --> 00:11:21.604
  • FOR MY LIFE AND FORMY BOYS' LIFE, AND HE CAN
  • 00:11:21.604 --> 00:11:23.172
  • FOR MY LIFE AND FORMY BOYS' LIFE, AND HE CANSQUEEZE AS MUCH GOOD
  • 00:11:23.172 --> 00:11:24.707
  • MY BOYS' LIFE, AND HE CANSQUEEZE AS MUCH GOODAS POSSIBLE OUT OF THIS
  • 00:11:24.707 --> 00:11:26.575
  • SQUEEZE AS MUCH GOODAS POSSIBLE OUT OF THISABSOLUTE HORRIFIC TRAGEDY
  • 00:11:26.575 --> 00:11:28.644
  • AS POSSIBLE OUT OF THISABSOLUTE HORRIFIC TRAGEDYAS HE CAN AND HE HAS.
  • 00:11:28.644 --> 00:11:29.745
  • ABSOLUTE HORRIFIC TRAGEDYAS HE CAN AND HE HAS.FROM THE VERY BEGINNING,
  • 00:11:29.745 --> 00:11:31.013
  • AS HE CAN AND HE HAS.FROM THE VERY BEGINNING,THAT VERY FIRST WEEK
  • 00:11:31.013 --> 00:11:32.915
  • FROM THE VERY BEGINNING,THAT VERY FIRST WEEKI WROTE ANDREW A LETTER
  • 00:11:32.915 --> 00:11:34.016
  • THAT VERY FIRST WEEKI WROTE ANDREW A LETTERAND THAT LETTER REALLY WENT
  • 00:11:34.016 --> 00:11:35.151
  • I WROTE ANDREW A LETTERAND THAT LETTER REALLY WENTVIRAL, OUR STORY REALLY
  • 00:11:35.151 --> 00:11:36.819
  • AND THAT LETTER REALLY WENTVIRAL, OUR STORY REALLYWENT VIRAL BECAUSE HERE
  • 00:11:36.819 --> 00:11:38.220
  • VIRAL, OUR STORY REALLYWENT VIRAL BECAUSE HEREIS THIS YOUNG GUY WHO
  • 00:11:38.220 --> 00:11:39.421
  • WENT VIRAL BECAUSE HEREIS THIS YOUNG GUY WHOHAD IT ALL AND WHY DID
  • 00:11:39.421 --> 00:11:40.623
  • IS THIS YOUNG GUY WHOHAD IT ALL AND WHY DIDTHIS HAPPEN TO HIM?
  • 00:11:40.623 --> 00:11:41.791
  • HAD IT ALL AND WHY DIDTHIS HAPPEN TO HIM?I THINK IT REALLY SHOCKED
  • 00:11:41.791 --> 00:11:42.958
  • THIS HAPPEN TO HIM?I THINK IT REALLY SHOCKEDA LOT OF PEOPLE.
  • 00:11:42.958 --> 00:11:45.594
  • I THINK IT REALLY SHOCKEDA LOT OF PEOPLE.SO I WROTE HIM THIS LETTER.
  • 00:11:45.594 --> 00:11:46.829
  • A LOT OF PEOPLE.SO I WROTE HIM THIS LETTER.IT WAS THROUGH THAT LETTER
  • 00:11:46.829 --> 00:11:48.164
  • SO I WROTE HIM THIS LETTER.IT WAS THROUGH THAT LETTERTHAT I FIRST BEGAN TO SEE
  • 00:11:48.164 --> 00:11:49.765
  • IT WAS THROUGH THAT LETTERTHAT I FIRST BEGAN TO SEETHAT GOD WAS UP TO SOMETHING
  • 00:11:49.765 --> 00:11:51.066
  • THAT I FIRST BEGAN TO SEETHAT GOD WAS UP TO SOMETHINGSO MUCH BIGGER THAN I COULD
  • 00:11:51.066 --> 00:11:53.335
  • THAT GOD WAS UP TO SOMETHINGSO MUCH BIGGER THAN I COULDHAVE EVER IMAGINED THAT
  • 00:11:53.335 --> 00:11:54.603
  • SO MUCH BIGGER THAN I COULDHAVE EVER IMAGINED THATHE WOULD DO THROUGH THIS
  • 00:11:54.603 --> 00:11:57.406
  • HAVE EVER IMAGINED THATHE WOULD DO THROUGH THISIN REDEEMING THIS STORY.
  • 00:11:57.406 --> 00:11:59.175
  • HE WOULD DO THROUGH THISIN REDEEMING THIS STORY.I WAS RECEIVING EMAILS AND
  • 00:11:59.175 --> 00:12:01.110
  • IN REDEEMING THIS STORY.I WAS RECEIVING EMAILS ANDLETTERS AND DIRECT MESSAGES
  • 00:12:01.110 --> 00:12:02.378
  • I WAS RECEIVING EMAILS ANDLETTERS AND DIRECT MESSAGESON INSTAGRAM FROM PEOPLE
  • 00:12:02.378 --> 00:12:03.412
  • LETTERS AND DIRECT MESSAGESON INSTAGRAM FROM PEOPLEWHO WERE SAYING, "I WAS
  • 00:12:03.412 --> 00:12:05.080
  • ON INSTAGRAM FROM PEOPLEWHO WERE SAYING, "I WASTHINKING ABOUT SUICIDE
  • 00:12:05.080 --> 00:12:06.382
  • WHO WERE SAYING, "I WASTHINKING ABOUT SUICIDEAND THEN I READ YOUR LETTER
  • 00:12:06.382 --> 00:12:07.449
  • THINKING ABOUT SUICIDEAND THEN I READ YOUR LETTERAND THEN I DECIDED TO STAY."
  • 00:12:07.449 --> 00:12:08.517
  • AND THEN I READ YOUR LETTERAND THEN I DECIDED TO STAY."OR "I'VE BEEN STRUGGLING
  • 00:12:08.517 --> 00:12:09.585
  • AND THEN I DECIDED TO STAY."OR "I'VE BEEN STRUGGLINGWITH DEPRESSION
  • 00:12:09.585 --> 00:12:10.686
  • OR "I'VE BEEN STRUGGLINGWITH DEPRESSIONAND I CHECKED MYSELF
  • 00:12:10.686 --> 00:12:12.621
  • WITH DEPRESSIONAND I CHECKED MYSELFINTO REHAB THIS MORNING."
  • 00:12:12.621 --> 00:12:13.923
  • AND I CHECKED MYSELFINTO REHAB THIS MORNING."OR "YOU FINALLY HELPED ME
  • 00:12:13.923 --> 00:12:15.157
  • INTO REHAB THIS MORNING."OR "YOU FINALLY HELPED MECALL THE THERAPIST
  • 00:12:15.157 --> 00:12:16.325
  • OR "YOU FINALLY HELPED MECALL THE THERAPISTAND TELL THEM HOW BAD
  • 00:12:16.325 --> 00:12:17.426
  • CALL THE THERAPISTAND TELL THEM HOW BADIT REALLY IS."
  • 00:12:17.426 --> 00:12:18.727
  • AND TELL THEM HOW BADIT REALLY IS.""YOU HELPED ME HELP MY SON
  • 00:12:18.727 --> 00:12:19.829
  • IT REALLY IS.""YOU HELPED ME HELP MY SONWHO IS STRUGGLING
  • 00:12:19.829 --> 00:12:20.930
  • "YOU HELPED ME HELP MY SONWHO IS STRUGGLINGWITH DEPRESSION."
  • 00:12:20.930 --> 00:12:22.064
  • WHO IS STRUGGLINGWITH DEPRESSION."LIKE THERE WERE SO MANY
  • 00:12:22.064 --> 00:12:23.499
  • WITH DEPRESSION."LIKE THERE WERE SO MANYMESSAGES COMING IN
  • 00:12:23.499 --> 00:12:24.867
  • LIKE THERE WERE SO MANYMESSAGES COMING INAND I COULDN'T LOOK AWAY.
  • 00:12:24.867 --> 00:12:26.001
  • MESSAGES COMING INAND I COULDN'T LOOK AWAY.GOD KIND OF HANDED ME
  • 00:12:26.001 --> 00:12:27.970
  • AND I COULDN'T LOOK AWAY.GOD KIND OF HANDED METHIS MICROPHONE AND I BECAME
  • 00:12:27.970 --> 00:12:29.305
  • GOD KIND OF HANDED METHIS MICROPHONE AND I BECAMETHIS MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE
  • 00:12:29.305 --> 00:12:30.606
  • THIS MICROPHONE AND I BECAMETHIS MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATEOVERNIGHT.
  • 00:12:30.606 --> 00:12:31.774
  • THIS MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATEOVERNIGHT.AND GOD REALLY CARRIED ME
  • 00:12:31.774 --> 00:12:32.842
  • OVERNIGHT.AND GOD REALLY CARRIED METHROUGH THAT.
  • 00:12:32.842 --> 00:12:34.343
  • AND GOD REALLY CARRIED METHROUGH THAT.LIKE HE GAVE ME THE WORDS,
  • 00:12:34.343 --> 00:12:35.578
  • THROUGH THAT.LIKE HE GAVE ME THE WORDS,HE GAVE ME THE STRENGTH,
  • 00:12:35.578 --> 00:12:36.946
  • LIKE HE GAVE ME THE WORDS,HE GAVE ME THE STRENGTH,HE GAVE ME THE COMFORT.
  • 00:12:36.946 --> 00:12:38.347
  • HE GAVE ME THE STRENGTH,HE GAVE ME THE COMFORT.LIKE I REALLY FELT GOD
  • 00:12:38.347 --> 00:12:41.116
  • HE GAVE ME THE COMFORT.LIKE I REALLY FELT GODAS THE COMFORTER SO DEEPLY
  • 00:12:41.116 --> 00:12:42.384
  • LIKE I REALLY FELT GODAS THE COMFORTER SO DEEPLYIN THAT SEASON,
  • 00:12:42.384 --> 00:12:43.953
  • AS THE COMFORTER SO DEEPLYIN THAT SEASON,AND STILL DO TODAY.
  • 00:12:43.953 --> 00:12:45.654
  • IN THAT SEASON,AND STILL DO TODAY.BUT IT WAS SO TANGIBLE,
  • 00:12:45.654 --> 00:12:47.256
  • AND STILL DO TODAY.BUT IT WAS SO TANGIBLE,EVEN MY CLOSEST FRIENDS,
  • 00:12:47.256 --> 00:12:49.158
  • BUT IT WAS SO TANGIBLE,EVEN MY CLOSEST FRIENDS,THEY WITNESSED GOD'S HAND
  • 00:12:49.158 --> 00:12:50.326
  • EVEN MY CLOSEST FRIENDS,THEY WITNESSED GOD'S HANDMORE CLEARLY THAN THEY HAD
  • 00:12:50.326 --> 00:12:51.627
  • THEY WITNESSED GOD'S HANDMORE CLEARLY THAN THEY HADIN THEIR ENTIRE LIFE
  • 00:12:51.627 --> 00:12:52.962
  • MORE CLEARLY THAN THEY HADIN THEIR ENTIRE LIFEJUST BY WALKING ALONGSIDE ME
  • 00:12:52.962 --> 00:12:55.531
  • Sheila: THAT'S WHY I THINK
  • 00:12:56.799 --> 00:12:58.000
  • Sheila: THAT'S WHY I THINKIT IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT BOOK,
  • 00:12:58.000 --> 00:12:59.134
  • IT IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT BOOK,KAYLA BECAUSE MENTAL HEALTH
  • 00:12:59.134 --> 00:13:01.103
  • IN OUR NATION BUT IT IS STILL
  • 00:13:02.605 --> 00:13:03.839
  • IN OUR NATION BUT IT IS STILLONE THAT WE DON'T TALK
  • 00:13:03.839 --> 00:13:05.007
  • IN OUR NATION BUT IT IS STILLONE THAT WE DON'T TALKA LOT ABOUT.
  • 00:13:05.007 --> 00:13:06.075
  • ONE THAT WE DON'T TALKA LOT ABOUT.IN FACT, WHEN I WAS READING
  • 00:13:06.075 --> 00:13:07.142
  • A LOT ABOUT.IN FACT, WHEN I WAS READINGYOUR BOOK THE PART
  • 00:13:07.142 --> 00:13:08.210
  • IN FACT, WHEN I WAS READINGYOUR BOOK THE PARTI CONNECTED WITH WAS,
  • 00:13:08.210 --> 00:13:10.346
  • YOUR BOOK THE PARTI CONNECTED WITH WAS,WHEN MY FATHER DIED BY SUICIDE
  • 00:13:10.346 --> 00:13:11.847
  • I CONNECTED WITH WAS,WHEN MY FATHER DIED BY SUICIDEMY MOM WAS LEFT, SHE WAS
  • 00:13:11.847 --> 00:13:13.048
  • WHEN MY FATHER DIED BY SUICIDEMY MOM WAS LEFT, SHE WASABOUT THE SAME AGE AS YOU,
  • 00:13:13.048 --> 00:13:14.116
  • MY MOM WAS LEFT, SHE WASABOUT THE SAME AGE AS YOU,SHE WAS LEFT WITH
  • 00:13:14.116 --> 00:13:15.117
  • ABOUT THE SAME AGE AS YOU,SHE WAS LEFT WITHTHREE CHILDREN,
  • 00:13:15.117 --> 00:13:16.719
  • SHE WAS LEFT WITHTHREE CHILDREN,SEVEN, FIVE, AND TWO.
  • 00:13:16.719 --> 00:13:18.187
  • THREE CHILDREN,SEVEN, FIVE, AND TWO.AND THE THING WAS BACK THEN,
  • 00:13:18.187 --> 00:13:20.723
  • SEVEN, FIVE, AND TWO.AND THE THING WAS BACK THEN,WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT.
  • 00:13:20.723 --> 00:13:21.724
  • AND THE THING WAS BACK THEN,WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT.AND CHILDREN, WHAT CHILDREN
  • 00:13:21.724 --> 00:13:23.158
  • WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT.AND CHILDREN, WHAT CHILDRENIMAGINE IN THEIR MINDS
  • 00:13:23.158 --> 00:13:24.493
  • AND CHILDREN, WHAT CHILDRENIMAGINE IN THEIR MINDSIS SO MUCH WORSE
  • 00:13:24.493 --> 00:13:26.262
  • IMAGINE IN THEIR MINDSIS SO MUCH WORSETHAN THE TRUTH.
  • 00:13:26.262 --> 00:13:27.396
  • IS SO MUCH WORSETHAN THE TRUTH.HOW ARE YOU HELPING
  • 00:13:27.396 --> 00:13:28.931
  • THAN THE TRUTH.HOW ARE YOU HELPINGYOUR CHILDREN TO NAVIGATE
  • 00:13:28.931 --> 00:13:31.934
  • HOW ARE YOU HELPINGYOUR CHILDREN TO NAVIGATETHIS REALITY?
  • 00:13:31.934 --> 00:13:33.302
  • YOUR CHILDREN TO NAVIGATETHIS REALITY?Kayla: I'VE BEEN REALLY HONEST
  • 00:13:33.302 --> 00:13:34.436
  • THIS REALITY?Kayla: I'VE BEEN REALLY HONESTWITH THEM SINCE
  • 00:13:34.436 --> 00:13:35.571
  • Kayla: I'VE BEEN REALLY HONESTWITH THEM SINCETHE VERY BEGINNING.
  • 00:13:35.571 --> 00:13:36.939
  • WITH THEM SINCETHE VERY BEGINNING.I WAITED A WEEK TO TELL THEM.
  • 00:13:36.939 --> 00:13:38.207
  • THE VERY BEGINNING.I WAITED A WEEK TO TELL THEM.THEY STAYED WITH MY DAD
  • 00:13:38.207 --> 00:13:39.241
  • I WAITED A WEEK TO TELL THEM.THEY STAYED WITH MY DADAND I WANTED TO TALK TO
  • 00:13:39.241 --> 00:13:40.509
  • THEY STAYED WITH MY DADAND I WANTED TO TALK TOCHILD LIFE SPECIALISTS AND
  • 00:13:40.509 --> 00:13:41.944
  • AND I WANTED TO TALK TOCHILD LIFE SPECIALISTS ANDMAKE SURE THAT I APPROACHED
  • 00:13:41.944 --> 00:13:43.779
  • CHILD LIFE SPECIALISTS ANDMAKE SURE THAT I APPROACHEDTHE CONVERSATION THE RIGHT WAY
  • 00:13:43.779 --> 00:13:45.381
  • MAKE SURE THAT I APPROACHEDTHE CONVERSATION THE RIGHT WAYFROM THE BEGINNING.
  • 00:13:45.381 --> 00:13:46.448
  • THE CONVERSATION THE RIGHT WAYFROM THE BEGINNING.I NEVER WANT TO HIDE
  • 00:13:46.448 --> 00:13:47.683
  • FROM THE BEGINNING.I NEVER WANT TO HIDEANYTHING FROM THEM.
  • 00:13:47.683 --> 00:13:49.251
  • I NEVER WANT TO HIDEANYTHING FROM THEM.I NEVER WANT TO LIE TO THEM
  • 00:13:49.251 --> 00:13:50.452
  • ANYTHING FROM THEM.I NEVER WANT TO LIE TO THEMSO IT WAS IMPORTANT FOR ME
  • 00:13:50.452 --> 00:13:52.888
  • I NEVER WANT TO LIE TO THEMSO IT WAS IMPORTANT FOR METO START THAT CONVERSATION.
  • 00:13:52.888 --> 00:13:54.156
  • SO IT WAS IMPORTANT FOR METO START THAT CONVERSATION.SO I DID.
  • 00:13:54.156 --> 00:13:55.457
  • TO START THAT CONVERSATION.SO I DID.SO THAT VERY FIRST TIME
  • 00:13:55.457 --> 00:13:56.692
  • SO I DID.SO THAT VERY FIRST TIMEI SAT THEM DOWN AND TOLD THEM
  • 00:13:56.692 --> 00:13:58.627
  • SO THAT VERY FIRST TIMEI SAT THEM DOWN AND TOLD THEMTHAT ANDREW HAD DIED.
  • 00:13:58.627 --> 00:13:59.795
  • I SAT THEM DOWN AND TOLD THEMTHAT ANDREW HAD DIED.I TOLD THEM THAT DADDY
  • 00:13:59.795 --> 00:14:00.930
  • THAT ANDREW HAD DIED.I TOLD THEM THAT DADDYDID SOMETHING THAT
  • 00:14:00.930 --> 00:14:02.231
  • I TOLD THEM THAT DADDYDID SOMETHING THATCAUSED HIM TO DIE.
  • 00:14:02.231 --> 00:14:03.365
  • DID SOMETHING THATCAUSED HIM TO DIE.THAT'S THE WAY THAT
  • 00:14:03.365 --> 00:14:04.667
  • CAUSED HIM TO DIE.THAT'S THE WAY THATI'VE EXPLAINED SUICIDE TO,
  • 00:14:04.667 --> 00:14:06.235
  • THAT'S THE WAY THATI'VE EXPLAINED SUICIDE TO,AT THE TIME THEY WERE
  • 00:14:06.235 --> 00:14:08.404
  • I'VE EXPLAINED SUICIDE TO,AT THE TIME THEY WEREFIVE, FOUR, AND TWO.
  • 00:14:08.404 --> 00:14:09.538
  • AT THE TIME THEY WEREFIVE, FOUR, AND TWO.SO FOR A FIVE, FOUR, AND
  • 00:14:09.538 --> 00:14:11.407
  • FIVE, FOUR, AND TWO.SO FOR A FIVE, FOUR, AND2-YEAR OLD TO UNDERSTAND.
  • 00:14:11.407 --> 00:14:12.875
  • SO FOR A FIVE, FOUR, AND2-YEAR OLD TO UNDERSTAND.BUT THEN IT LEADS
  • 00:14:12.875 --> 00:14:14.009
  • 2-YEAR OLD TO UNDERSTAND.BUT THEN IT LEADSTO MORE QUESTIONS.
  • 00:14:14.009 --> 00:14:15.244
  • BUT THEN IT LEADSTO MORE QUESTIONS."WELL, WHAT DID HE DO?"
  • 00:14:15.244 --> 00:14:16.412
  • TO MORE QUESTIONS."WELL, WHAT DID HE DO?"LIKE THERE IS MORE QUESTIONS
  • 00:14:16.412 --> 00:14:17.479
  • "WELL, WHAT DID HE DO?"LIKE THERE IS MORE QUESTIONSTHAT I'M NOT ABLE TO ANSWER
  • 00:14:17.479 --> 00:14:18.747
  • LIKE THERE IS MORE QUESTIONSTHAT I'M NOT ABLE TO ANSWERUNTIL THEY'RE OLDER.
  • 00:14:18.747 --> 00:14:20.382
  • THAT I'M NOT ABLE TO ANSWERUNTIL THEY'RE OLDER.THAT'S WHY I WROTE THE BOOK.
  • 00:14:20.382 --> 00:14:21.583
  • UNTIL THEY'RE OLDER.THAT'S WHY I WROTE THE BOOK.IT WAS FOR THEM.
  • 00:14:21.583 --> 00:14:23.252
  • THEY ARE MY TARGET AUDIENCE,
  • 00:14:24.987 --> 00:14:26.388
  • THEY ARE MY TARGET AUDIENCE,THOSE THREE LITTLE BOYS.
  • 00:14:26.388 --> 00:14:27.489
  • THOSE THREE LITTLE BOYS.AND I THINK IT IS GOING
  • 00:14:27.489 --> 00:14:28.724
  • AND I THINK IT IS GOINGTO BE SO SPECIAL AND
  • 00:14:28.724 --> 00:14:30.159
  • TO BE SO SPECIAL ANDSO POWERFUL FOR THEM
  • 00:14:30.159 --> 00:14:31.460
  • AND READ THAT TOGETHER.
  • 00:14:32.895 --> 00:14:34.296
  • AND READ THAT TOGETHER.OR TO LISTEN TO THE AUDIO BOOK
  • 00:14:34.296 --> 00:14:35.364
  • AND READ THAT TOGETHER.OR TO LISTEN TO THE AUDIO BOOKTOGETHER AND THEY CAN
  • 00:14:35.364 --> 00:14:37.099
  • OR TO LISTEN TO THE AUDIO BOOKTOGETHER AND THEY CANHEAR ME READ IT TO THEM.
  • 00:14:37.099 --> 00:14:38.434
  • TOGETHER AND THEY CANHEAR ME READ IT TO THEM.AND FOR THEM TO BE ABLE
  • 00:14:38.434 --> 00:14:39.635
  • HEAR ME READ IT TO THEM.AND FOR THEM TO BE ABLETO ASK QUESTIONS
  • 00:14:39.635 --> 00:14:40.803
  • AND FOR THEM TO BE ABLETO ASK QUESTIONSAND TALK ABOUT IT.
  • 00:14:40.803 --> 00:14:41.937
  • TO ASK QUESTIONSAND TALK ABOUT IT.I DON'T WANT TO HIDE
  • 00:14:41.937 --> 00:14:43.072
  • AND TALK ABOUT IT.I DON'T WANT TO HIDEANYTHING FROM THEM.
  • 00:14:43.072 --> 00:14:44.406
  • I DON'T WANT TO HIDEANYTHING FROM THEM.I WANT THEM TO KNOW THAT
  • 00:14:44.406 --> 00:14:45.607
  • ANYTHING FROM THEM.I WANT THEM TO KNOW THATIT WAS SUICIDE AND I HOPE
  • 00:14:45.607 --> 00:14:47.376
  • I WANT THEM TO KNOW THATIT WAS SUICIDE AND I HOPETHAT THROUGH THE WAY
  • 00:14:47.376 --> 00:14:48.677
  • IT WAS SUICIDE AND I HOPETHAT THROUGH THE WAYTHAT I'VE EXPLAINED IT
  • 00:14:48.677 --> 00:14:49.778
  • THAT THROUGH THE WAYTHAT I'VE EXPLAINED ITIN THE BOOK THAT THEY WILL
  • 00:14:49.778 --> 00:14:51.080
  • THAT I'VE EXPLAINED ITIN THE BOOK THAT THEY WILLHAVE COMPASSION AND EMPATHY
  • 00:14:51.080 --> 00:14:52.314
  • IN THE BOOK THAT THEY WILLHAVE COMPASSION AND EMPATHYFOR THEIR DAD.
  • 00:14:52.314 --> 00:14:53.415
  • HAVE COMPASSION AND EMPATHYFOR THEIR DAD.THAT THEY WON'T THINK THAT
  • 00:14:53.415 --> 00:14:55.050
  • FOR THEIR DAD.THAT THEY WON'T THINK THATTHEIR DAD ABANDONED THEM.
  • 00:14:55.050 --> 00:14:56.085
  • THAT THEY WON'T THINK THATTHEIR DAD ABANDONED THEM.THAT THEY WON'T THINK
  • 00:14:56.085 --> 00:14:57.186
  • THEIR DAD ABANDONED THEM.THAT THEY WON'T THINKTHAT THEIR DAD DECIDED
  • 00:14:57.186 --> 00:14:58.287
  • THAT THEY WON'T THINKTHAT THEIR DAD DECIDEDTO LEAVE THEM.
  • 00:14:58.287 --> 00:14:59.321
  • THAT THEIR DAD DECIDEDTO LEAVE THEM.BUT THEY WILL GROW
  • 00:14:59.321 --> 00:15:00.556
  • TO LEAVE THEM.BUT THEY WILL GROWIN EMPATHY AND COMPASSION
  • 00:15:00.556 --> 00:15:01.890
  • BUT THEY WILL GROWIN EMPATHY AND COMPASSIONAND SEE HIM AS THIS WASN'T
  • 00:15:01.890 --> 00:15:02.958
  • IN EMPATHY AND COMPASSIONAND SEE HIM AS THIS WASN'TA CHOICE.
  • 00:15:02.958 --> 00:15:04.026
  • AND SEE HIM AS THIS WASN'TA CHOICE.THIS WAS SOMETHING
  • 00:15:04.026 --> 00:15:05.227
  • A CHOICE.THIS WAS SOMETHINGTHAT HAPPENED TO HIM.
  • 00:15:05.227 --> 00:15:06.362
  • THIS WAS SOMETHINGTHAT HAPPENED TO HIM.HE WOULD HAVE NEVER
  • 00:15:06.362 --> 00:15:07.496
  • THAT HAPPENED TO HIM.HE WOULD HAVE NEVERCHOSEN THIS.
  • 00:15:07.496 --> 00:15:08.530
  • HE WOULD HAVE NEVERCHOSEN THIS.Sheila: THAT ACTUALLY,
  • 00:15:08.530 --> 00:15:09.565
  • CHOSEN THIS.Sheila: THAT ACTUALLY,HONESTLY, EVEN HELPED ME,
  • 00:15:09.565 --> 00:15:10.599
  • Sheila: THAT ACTUALLY,HONESTLY, EVEN HELPED ME,KAYLA.
  • 00:15:10.599 --> 00:15:11.633
  • HONESTLY, EVEN HELPED ME,KAYLA.READING THE BOOK, THAT EVEN
  • 00:15:11.633 --> 00:15:12.701
  • KAYLA.READING THE BOOK, THAT EVENHELPED ME BECAUSE WHEN
  • 00:15:12.701 --> 00:15:14.269
  • READING THE BOOK, THAT EVENHELPED ME BECAUSE WHENI WAS YOUNGER I WOULD THINK,
  • 00:15:14.269 --> 00:15:15.537
  • HELPED ME BECAUSE WHENI WAS YOUNGER I WOULD THINK,WHATEVER MY DAD WAS FEELING
  • 00:15:15.537 --> 00:15:16.805
  • I WAS YOUNGER I WOULD THINK,WHATEVER MY DAD WAS FEELINGWAS WORSE THAN
  • 00:15:16.805 --> 00:15:18.240
  • WHATEVER MY DAD WAS FEELINGWAS WORSE THANHIS LOVE FOR ME.
  • 00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:19.408
  • WAS WORSE THANHIS LOVE FOR ME.I THINK THAT --
  • 00:15:19.408 --> 00:15:20.576
  • HIS LOVE FOR ME.I THINK THAT --WHAT ARE SOME OF THE COMMON
  • 00:15:20.576 --> 00:15:22.478
  • I THINK THAT --WHAT ARE SOME OF THE COMMONMISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT SUICIDE
  • 00:15:22.478 --> 00:15:23.812
  • WHAT ARE SOME OF THE COMMONMISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT SUICIDETHAT YOU CLEAR UP
  • 00:15:23.812 --> 00:15:26.015
  • MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT SUICIDETHAT YOU CLEAR UPIN YOUR BOOK?
  • 00:15:26.015 --> 00:15:27.149
  • THAT YOU CLEAR UPIN YOUR BOOK?Kayla: I THINK THE BIGGEST
  • 00:15:27.149 --> 00:15:29.018
  • IN YOUR BOOK?Kayla: I THINK THE BIGGESTIS THAT SUICIDE IS SELFISH.
  • 00:15:29.018 --> 00:15:30.119
  • Kayla: I THINK THE BIGGESTIS THAT SUICIDE IS SELFISH.I'LL NEVER FORGET THE ONE
  • 00:15:30.119 --> 00:15:31.220
  • IS THAT SUICIDE IS SELFISH.I'LL NEVER FORGET THE ONETIME THAT ANDREW TOLD ME
  • 00:15:31.220 --> 00:15:32.888
  • I'LL NEVER FORGET THE ONETIME THAT ANDREW TOLD METHAT HE WAS SUICIDAL AND
  • 00:15:32.888 --> 00:15:34.590
  • TIME THAT ANDREW TOLD METHAT HE WAS SUICIDAL ANDMY INSTANT REACTION TO THAT
  • 00:15:34.590 --> 00:15:36.458
  • THAT HE WAS SUICIDAL ANDMY INSTANT REACTION TO THATIS LIKE, "THAT IS SO SELFISH.
  • 00:15:36.458 --> 00:15:37.693
  • MY INSTANT REACTION TO THATIS LIKE, "THAT IS SO SELFISH.YOU WOULD NEVER DO THAT.
  • 00:15:37.693 --> 00:15:38.727
  • IS LIKE, "THAT IS SO SELFISH.YOU WOULD NEVER DO THAT.YOU CAN NEVER DO THAT
  • 00:15:38.727 --> 00:15:39.895
  • YOU WOULD NEVER DO THAT.YOU CAN NEVER DO THATTO ME AND THE KIDS."
  • 00:15:39.895 --> 00:15:41.697
  • YOU CAN NEVER DO THATTO ME AND THE KIDS."AND IT IS THIS --
  • 00:15:41.697 --> 00:15:43.265
  • TO ME AND THE KIDS."AND IT IS THIS --WE THINK IT IS THIS SELFISH
  • 00:15:43.265 --> 00:15:44.400
  • AND IT IS THIS --WE THINK IT IS THIS SELFISHTHING WHEN REALLY
  • 00:15:44.400 --> 00:15:45.567
  • WE THINK IT IS THIS SELFISHTHING WHEN REALLYIT IS A PAIN PROBLEM.
  • 00:15:45.567 --> 00:15:46.668
  • THING WHEN REALLYIT IS A PAIN PROBLEM.THE PERSON WHO IS STRUGGLING
  • 00:15:46.668 --> 00:15:47.736
  • IT IS A PAIN PROBLEM.THE PERSON WHO IS STRUGGLINGWITH SUICIDAL IDEATION
  • 00:15:47.736 --> 00:15:49.705
  • THE PERSON WHO IS STRUGGLINGWITH SUICIDAL IDEATIONIS OVERWHELMED WITH
  • 00:15:49.705 --> 00:15:51.940
  • WITH SUICIDAL IDEATIONIS OVERWHELMED WITHAN ALL-CONSUMING PAIN.
  • 00:15:51.940 --> 00:15:53.108
  • IS OVERWHELMED WITHAN ALL-CONSUMING PAIN.I'LL NEVER FORGET READING
  • 00:15:53.108 --> 00:15:54.476
  • AN ALL-CONSUMING PAIN.I'LL NEVER FORGET READINGA BLOG THAT ANNE VOSKAMP
  • 00:15:54.476 --> 00:15:55.544
  • I'LL NEVER FORGET READINGA BLOG THAT ANNE VOSKAMPHAD WROTE AND SHE HAD
  • 00:15:55.544 --> 00:15:56.812
  • A BLOG THAT ANNE VOSKAMPHAD WROTE AND SHE HADDESCRIBED IT AS BEING TRAPPED
  • 00:15:56.812 --> 00:15:58.147
  • HAD WROTE AND SHE HADDESCRIBED IT AS BEING TRAPPEDIN A BURNING BUILDING AND
  • 00:15:58.147 --> 00:15:59.481
  • DESCRIBED IT AS BEING TRAPPEDIN A BURNING BUILDING ANDTHE ONLY WAY TO ESCAPE
  • 00:15:59.481 --> 00:16:00.649
  • IN A BURNING BUILDING ANDTHE ONLY WAY TO ESCAPETHE FLAMES IS TO JUMP OUT
  • 00:16:00.649 --> 00:16:01.984
  • THE ONLY WAY TO ESCAPETHE FLAMES IS TO JUMP OUTTHE WINDOW.
  • 00:16:01.984 --> 00:16:03.185
  • THE FLAMES IS TO JUMP OUTTHE WINDOW.THAT REALLY HELPED ME TO HAVE
  • 00:16:03.185 --> 00:16:04.753
  • THE WINDOW.THAT REALLY HELPED ME TO HAVECOMPASSION FOR ANDREW
  • 00:16:04.753 --> 00:16:06.055
  • THAT REALLY HELPED ME TO HAVECOMPASSION FOR ANDREWAND TO KNOW THAT IT ISN'T
  • 00:16:06.055 --> 00:16:07.222
  • COMPASSION FOR ANDREWAND TO KNOW THAT IT ISN'TA SELFISH THING.
  • 00:16:07.222 --> 00:16:08.390
  • AND TO KNOW THAT IT ISN'TA SELFISH THING.FOR ME, I ALMOST SEE
  • 00:16:08.390 --> 00:16:09.458
  • A SELFISH THING.FOR ME, I ALMOST SEETHE SUICIDE AS
  • 00:16:09.458 --> 00:16:10.692
  • FOR ME, I ALMOST SEETHE SUICIDE ASA TRAGIC ACCIDENT.
  • 00:16:10.692 --> 00:16:11.760
  • THE SUICIDE ASA TRAGIC ACCIDENT.I DESCRIBE IT, HE WAS
  • 00:16:11.760 --> 00:16:13.762
  • A TRAGIC ACCIDENT.I DESCRIBE IT, HE WASSURROUNDED BY SUPPORT,
  • 00:16:13.762 --> 00:16:15.097
  • I DESCRIBE IT, HE WASSURROUNDED BY SUPPORT,HE WAS SURROUNDED BY A TEAM
  • 00:16:15.097 --> 00:16:16.298
  • SURROUNDED BY SUPPORT,HE WAS SURROUNDED BY A TEAMOF DOCTORS, HE WAS SURROUNDED
  • 00:16:16.298 --> 00:16:17.566
  • HE WAS SURROUNDED BY A TEAMOF DOCTORS, HE WAS SURROUNDEDBY PEOPLE WHO LOVED HIM
  • 00:16:17.566 --> 00:16:18.667
  • OF DOCTORS, HE WAS SURROUNDEDBY PEOPLE WHO LOVED HIMSO MUCH, WHO WOULD HAVE
  • 00:16:18.667 --> 00:16:20.869
  • BY PEOPLE WHO LOVED HIMSO MUCH, WHO WOULD HAVEDONE ANYTHING TO SAVE HIM.
  • 00:16:20.869 --> 00:16:21.970
  • SO MUCH, WHO WOULD HAVEDONE ANYTHING TO SAVE HIM.AND SO WE ALMOST DESCRIBE IT
  • 00:16:21.970 --> 00:16:23.305
  • DONE ANYTHING TO SAVE HIM.AND SO WE ALMOST DESCRIBE ITAS A CHILD DROWNING
  • 00:16:23.305 --> 00:16:24.606
  • AND SO WE ALMOST DESCRIBE ITAS A CHILD DROWNINGIN A SWIMMING POOL
  • 00:16:24.606 --> 00:16:26.008
  • AS A CHILD DROWNINGIN A SWIMMING POOLAT A BIRTHDAY PARTY.
  • 00:16:26.008 --> 00:16:27.276
  • IN A SWIMMING POOLAT A BIRTHDAY PARTY.LIKE THAT'S HOW IT FEELS.
  • 00:16:27.276 --> 00:16:28.343
  • AT A BIRTHDAY PARTY.LIKE THAT'S HOW IT FEELS.LIKE ANYONE WOULD HAVE
  • 00:16:28.343 --> 00:16:29.545
  • LIKE THAT'S HOW IT FEELS.LIKE ANYONE WOULD HAVEJUMPED IN THE POOL
  • 00:16:29.545 --> 00:16:30.679
  • LIKE ANYONE WOULD HAVEJUMPED IN THE POOLAND SAVED THEM.
  • 00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:31.747
  • JUMPED IN THE POOLAND SAVED THEM.LIKE ANYONE OF US WOULD HAVE
  • 00:16:31.747 --> 00:16:33.248
  • AND SAVED THEM.LIKE ANYONE OF US WOULD HAVEJUMPED IN AND SAVED HIM.
  • 00:16:33.248 --> 00:16:34.516
  • LIKE ANYONE OF US WOULD HAVEJUMPED IN AND SAVED HIM.AND IT WASN'T THIS
  • 00:16:34.516 --> 00:16:35.851
  • JUMPED IN AND SAVED HIM.AND IT WASN'T THISSELFISH DECISION.
  • 00:16:35.851 --> 00:16:37.286
  • AND IT WASN'T THISSELFISH DECISION.LIKE HE WAS OVERWHELMED
  • 00:16:37.286 --> 00:16:38.454
  • SELFISH DECISION.LIKE HE WAS OVERWHELMEDWITH PAIN.
  • 00:16:38.454 --> 00:16:39.822
  • LIKE HE WAS OVERWHELMEDWITH PAIN.AND SO THE SUICIDE WAS
  • 00:16:39.822 --> 00:16:40.989
  • WITH PAIN.AND SO THE SUICIDE WASA RESULT OF THAT OVERWHELMING
  • 00:16:40.989 --> 00:16:43.225
  • AND SO THE SUICIDE WASA RESULT OF THAT OVERWHELMINGPAIN IN MENTAL ILLNESS.
  • 00:16:43.225 --> 00:16:44.493
  • A RESULT OF THAT OVERWHELMINGPAIN IN MENTAL ILLNESS.AND THEN I ALSO THINK
  • 00:16:44.493 --> 00:16:45.627
  • PAIN IN MENTAL ILLNESS.AND THEN I ALSO THINKONE OF THE OTHER BIGGEST
  • 00:16:45.627 --> 00:16:46.829
  • AND THEN I ALSO THINKONE OF THE OTHER BIGGESTCONCEPTIONS IN CHRISTIAN
  • 00:16:46.829 --> 00:16:48.030
  • ONE OF THE OTHER BIGGESTCONCEPTIONS IN CHRISTIANCULTURE IS THAT WHEN
  • 00:16:48.030 --> 00:16:49.164
  • CONCEPTIONS IN CHRISTIANCULTURE IS THAT WHENSOMEONE DIES BY SUICIDE
  • 00:16:49.164 --> 00:16:50.232
  • CULTURE IS THAT WHENSOMEONE DIES BY SUICIDETHEY DON'T GET TO GO
  • 00:16:50.232 --> 00:16:51.433
  • SOMEONE DIES BY SUICIDETHEY DON'T GET TO GOTO HEAVEN.
  • 00:16:51.433 --> 00:16:52.601
  • THEY DON'T GET TO GOTO HEAVEN.I REMEMBER I'LL NEVER FORGET
  • 00:16:52.601 --> 00:16:53.836
  • TO HEAVEN.I REMEMBER I'LL NEVER FORGETA LOT OF COMMENTS THAT CAME IN
  • 00:16:53.836 --> 00:16:54.937
  • I REMEMBER I'LL NEVER FORGETA LOT OF COMMENTS THAT CAME INAND EMAILS THAT CAME IN LIKE,
  • 00:16:54.937 --> 00:16:56.004
  • A LOT OF COMMENTS THAT CAME INAND EMAILS THAT CAME IN LIKE,"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT
  • 00:16:56.004 --> 00:16:57.139
  • AND EMAILS THAT CAME IN LIKE,"HOW DARE YOU SAY THATHE IS IN HEAVEN.
  • 00:16:57.139 --> 00:16:58.173
  • "HOW DARE YOU SAY THATHE IS IN HEAVEN.WHEN YOU DIE BY SUICIDE
  • 00:16:58.173 --> 00:17:00.542
  • HE IS IN HEAVEN.WHEN YOU DIE BY SUICIDEYOU DON'T GO TO HEAVEN."
  • 00:17:00.542 --> 00:17:01.743
  • WHEN YOU DIE BY SUICIDEYOU DON'T GO TO HEAVEN."I WAS UNDER THE SAME
  • 00:17:01.743 --> 00:17:02.911
  • YOU DON'T GO TO HEAVEN."I WAS UNDER THE SAMEMISCONCEPTION.
  • 00:17:02.911 --> 00:17:04.012
  • I WAS UNDER THE SAMEMISCONCEPTION.I'LL NEVER FORGET BEING
  • 00:17:04.012 --> 00:17:05.180
  • MISCONCEPTION.I'LL NEVER FORGET BEINGIN THE HOSPITAL ROOM AND HE IS
  • 00:17:05.180 --> 00:17:06.248
  • I'LL NEVER FORGET BEINGIN THE HOSPITAL ROOM AND HE ISLAYING ON THE HOSPITAL BED
  • 00:17:06.248 --> 00:17:07.616
  • IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM AND HE ISLAYING ON THE HOSPITAL BEDAND HE IS TAKING HIS LAST
  • 00:17:07.616 --> 00:17:08.784
  • LAYING ON THE HOSPITAL BEDAND HE IS TAKING HIS LASTBREATHS AND I LEANED OVER
  • 00:17:08.784 --> 00:17:09.952
  • AND HE IS TAKING HIS LASTBREATHS AND I LEANED OVERTHE HOSPITAL BED AND I ASKED
  • 00:17:09.952 --> 00:17:11.053
  • BREATHS AND I LEANED OVERTHE HOSPITAL BED AND I ASKEDMY MOTHER-IN-LAW,
  • 00:17:11.053 --> 00:17:12.387
  • THE HOSPITAL BED AND I ASKEDMY MOTHER-IN-LAW,"WILL HE GO TO HEAVEN?"
  • 00:17:12.387 --> 00:17:13.589
  • MY MOTHER-IN-LAW,"WILL HE GO TO HEAVEN?"LIKE I WAS UNDER THAT
  • 00:17:13.589 --> 00:17:14.890
  • "WILL HE GO TO HEAVEN?"LIKE I WAS UNDER THATSAME MISCONCEPTION THAT
  • 00:17:14.890 --> 00:17:15.958
  • LIKE I WAS UNDER THATSAME MISCONCEPTION THATI'D PICKED UP SOMEWHERE
  • 00:17:15.958 --> 00:17:17.459
  • SAME MISCONCEPTION THATI'D PICKED UP SOMEWHEREALONG THE WAY.
  • 00:17:17.459 --> 00:17:18.961
  • AS I'M CONFIDENT NOW THAT
  • 00:17:20.395 --> 00:17:21.964
  • AS I'M CONFIDENT NOW THATOUR SALVATION DOES NOT HINGE
  • 00:17:21.964 --> 00:17:23.332
  • OUR SALVATION DOES NOT HINGEON HOW WE DIE.
  • 00:17:23.332 --> 00:17:24.933
  • ON HOW WE DIE.OUR SALVATION HINGES ON
  • 00:17:24.933 --> 00:17:26.768
  • I'M SO CONFIDENT OF THAT.
  • 00:17:28.971 --> 00:17:31.306
  • I'M SO CONFIDENT OF THAT.THAT HE IS IN GOD'S LOVE.
  • 00:17:31.306 --> 00:17:32.541
  • I'M SO CONFIDENT OF THAT.THAT HE IS IN GOD'S LOVE.WHATEVER THAT LOOKS LIKE,
  • 00:17:32.541 --> 00:17:33.809
  • THAT HE IS IN GOD'S LOVE.WHATEVER THAT LOOKS LIKE,LIKE HE IS THERE AND
  • 00:17:33.809 --> 00:17:35.911
  • WHATEVER THAT LOOKS LIKE,LIKE HE IS THERE ANDHE IS HEALED AND HE IS FREE.
  • 00:17:35.911 --> 00:17:37.613
  • LIKE HE IS THERE ANDHE IS HEALED AND HE IS FREE.I HATE THAT THIS HAPPENED
  • 00:17:37.613 --> 00:17:38.947
  • HE IS HEALED AND HE IS FREE.I HATE THAT THIS HAPPENEDAND HE WOULD HATE THAT
  • 00:17:38.947 --> 00:17:40.716
  • I HATE THAT THIS HAPPENEDAND HE WOULD HATE THATTHIS HAPPENED BUT THAT
  • 00:17:40.716 --> 00:17:41.884
  • AND HE WOULD HATE THATTHIS HAPPENED BUT THATDOES NOT SEPARATE HIM
  • 00:17:41.884 --> 00:17:43.152
  • THIS HAPPENED BUT THATDOES NOT SEPARATE HIMFROM GOD'S LOVE.
  • 00:17:43.152 --> 00:17:44.386
  • Randy: WE CAN'T EARN
  • 00:17:45.454 --> 00:17:46.522
  • Randy: WE CAN'T EARNOUR OWN SPIRITUAL BIRTH
  • 00:17:46.522 --> 00:17:48.657
  • OUR OWN SPIRITUAL BIRTHAND WE CAN'T UNEARN IT.
  • 00:17:48.657 --> 00:17:50.626
  • LEFT BUT I WANT TO GIVE YOU
  • 00:17:52.161 --> 00:17:53.662
  • LEFT BUT I WANT TO GIVE YOUTHE OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAK
  • 00:17:53.662 --> 00:17:54.830
  • LEFT BUT I WANT TO GIVE YOUTHE OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAKTO TWO PEOPLE WHO ARE
  • 00:17:54.830 --> 00:17:55.898
  • THE OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAKTO TWO PEOPLE WHO AREWATCHING RIGHT NOW.
  • 00:17:55.898 --> 00:17:57.132
  • TO TWO PEOPLE WHO AREWATCHING RIGHT NOW.ONE WHO IS ALL CONSUMED
  • 00:17:57.132 --> 00:17:59.001
  • WATCHING RIGHT NOW.ONE WHO IS ALL CONSUMEDWITH THAT PAIN.
  • 00:17:59.001 --> 00:18:01.069
  • ONE WHO IS ALL CONSUMEDWITH THAT PAIN.AND THE OTHER PERSON WHO
  • 00:18:01.069 --> 00:18:02.604
  • WITH THAT PAIN.AND THE OTHER PERSON WHOIS THE LOVED ONE OF THAT ONE
  • 00:18:02.604 --> 00:18:04.339
  • AND THE OTHER PERSON WHOIS THE LOVED ONE OF THAT ONECONSUMED BY THAT PAIN.
  • 00:18:04.339 --> 00:18:05.407
  • IS THE LOVED ONE OF THAT ONECONSUMED BY THAT PAIN.WHAT DO YOU SAY
  • 00:18:05.407 --> 00:18:08.343
  • CONSUMED BY THAT PAIN.WHAT DO YOU SAYTO THOSE TWO PEOPLE?
  • 00:18:08.343 --> 00:18:10.145
  • WHAT DO YOU SAYTO THOSE TWO PEOPLE?Kayla: IF YOU'RE SITTING
  • 00:18:10.145 --> 00:18:11.413
  • TO THOSE TWO PEOPLE?Kayla: IF YOU'RE SITTINGIN A PLACE OF PAIN AND YOU'RE
  • 00:18:11.413 --> 00:18:13.148
  • Kayla: IF YOU'RE SITTINGIN A PLACE OF PAIN AND YOU'RESTRUGGLING WITH DEPRESSION
  • 00:18:13.148 --> 00:18:14.283
  • IN A PLACE OF PAIN AND YOU'RESTRUGGLING WITH DEPRESSIONAND YOU'RE STRUGGLING
  • 00:18:14.283 --> 00:18:15.684
  • STRUGGLING WITH DEPRESSIONAND YOU'RE STRUGGLINGWITH SUICIDAL IDEATION,
  • 00:18:15.684 --> 00:18:16.752
  • AND YOU'RE STRUGGLINGWITH SUICIDAL IDEATION,I JUST WANT TO SAY
  • 00:18:16.752 --> 00:18:19.388
  • WITH SUICIDAL IDEATION,I JUST WANT TO SAYI'M SO DEEPLY SORRY
  • 00:18:19.388 --> 00:18:20.656
  • I JUST WANT TO SAYI'M SO DEEPLY SORRYFOR YOUR PAIN.
  • 00:18:20.656 --> 00:18:22.224
  • I'M SO DEEPLY SORRYFOR YOUR PAIN.I'M SO DEEPLY SORRY THAT
  • 00:18:22.224 --> 00:18:24.593
  • FOR YOUR PAIN.I'M SO DEEPLY SORRY THATIT FEELS SO OVERWHELMING
  • 00:18:24.593 --> 00:18:25.627
  • I'M SO DEEPLY SORRY THATIT FEELS SO OVERWHELMINGAND ALL-CONSUMING
  • 00:18:25.627 --> 00:18:26.962
  • IT FEELS SO OVERWHELMINGAND ALL-CONSUMINGAND ALL-ENDING.
  • 00:18:26.962 --> 00:18:28.063
  • AND ALL-CONSUMINGAND ALL-ENDING.I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT
  • 00:18:28.063 --> 00:18:29.698
  • AND ALL-ENDING.I WANT YOU TO KNOW THATYOU ARE WORTHY OF HELP.
  • 00:18:29.698 --> 00:18:31.300
  • I WANT YOU TO KNOW THATYOU ARE WORTHY OF HELP.THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.
  • 00:18:31.300 --> 00:18:33.302
  • YOU ARE WORTHY OF HELP.THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.THAT YOU ARE LOVED.
  • 00:18:33.302 --> 00:18:35.604
  • THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.THAT YOU ARE LOVED.THAT PEOPLE DO CARE ABOUT YOU.
  • 00:18:35.604 --> 00:18:37.539
  • THAT YOU ARE LOVED.THAT PEOPLE DO CARE ABOUT YOU.THAT HELP IS AVAILABLE.
  • 00:18:37.539 --> 00:18:38.740
  • THAT PEOPLE DO CARE ABOUT YOU.THAT HELP IS AVAILABLE.PLEASE KEEP REACHING OUT.
  • 00:18:38.740 --> 00:18:39.875
  • THAT HELP IS AVAILABLE.PLEASE KEEP REACHING OUT.IF YOU FEEL LIKE NO ONE
  • 00:18:39.875 --> 00:18:41.543
  • PLEASE KEEP REACHING OUT.IF YOU FEEL LIKE NO ONEUNDERSTANDS YOUR PAIN,
  • 00:18:41.543 --> 00:18:42.945
  • IF YOU FEEL LIKE NO ONEUNDERSTANDS YOUR PAIN,PLEASE KEEP REACHING OUT.
  • 00:18:42.945 --> 00:18:44.213
  • UNDERSTANDS YOUR PAIN,PLEASE KEEP REACHING OUT.PLEASE KEEP CALLING.
  • 00:18:44.213 --> 00:18:45.447
  • PLEASE KEEP REACHING OUT.PLEASE KEEP CALLING.PLEASE KEEP CALLING
  • 00:18:45.447 --> 00:18:46.548
  • PLEASE KEEP CALLING.PLEASE KEEP CALLINGA THERAPIST OR CALLING
  • 00:18:46.548 --> 00:18:47.783
  • PLEASE KEEP CALLINGA THERAPIST OR CALLINGA FRIEND OR CALLING
  • 00:18:47.783 --> 00:18:49.017
  • A THERAPIST OR CALLINGA FRIEND OR CALLINGTHE SUICIDE HOTLINE.
  • 00:18:49.017 --> 00:18:50.085
  • A FRIEND OR CALLINGTHE SUICIDE HOTLINE.THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE
  • 00:18:50.085 --> 00:18:51.286
  • THE SUICIDE HOTLINE.THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARESURROUNDING YOU THAT
  • 00:18:51.286 --> 00:18:52.788
  • THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARESURROUNDING YOU THATLOVE YOU AND WANT TO WALK
  • 00:18:52.788 --> 00:18:53.822
  • SURROUNDING YOU THATLOVE YOU AND WANT TO WALKBESIDE YOU BUT YOU HAVE
  • 00:18:53.822 --> 00:18:55.257
  • LOVE YOU AND WANT TO WALKBESIDE YOU BUT YOU HAVETO LET THEM IN.
  • 00:18:55.257 --> 00:18:56.258
  • BESIDE YOU BUT YOU HAVETO LET THEM IN.YOU WERE NEVER MEANT
  • 00:18:56.258 --> 00:18:57.759
  • TO LET THEM IN.YOU WERE NEVER MEANTTO CARRY THAT PAIN ALONE.
  • 00:18:57.759 --> 00:18:59.261
  • YOU WERE NEVER MEANTTO CARRY THAT PAIN ALONE.AND LIVING WITH THE PAIN
  • 00:18:59.261 --> 00:19:00.829
  • TO CARRY THAT PAIN ALONE.AND LIVING WITH THE PAINIS POSSIBLE.
  • 00:19:00.829 --> 00:19:01.997
  • AND LIVING WITH THE PAINIS POSSIBLE.THAT'S THE BIGGEST THING
  • 00:19:01.997 --> 00:19:03.198
  • IS POSSIBLE.THAT'S THE BIGGEST THINGI'VE LEARNED IN MY JOURNEY
  • 00:19:03.198 --> 00:19:04.433
  • THAT'S THE BIGGEST THINGI'VE LEARNED IN MY JOURNEYAS I HAVE STRUGGLED WITH
  • 00:19:04.433 --> 00:19:06.668
  • I'VE LEARNED IN MY JOURNEYAS I HAVE STRUGGLED WITHSUICIDAL IDEATION AS WELL
  • 00:19:06.668 --> 00:19:07.869
  • AS I HAVE STRUGGLED WITHSUICIDAL IDEATION AS WELLIN MY GRIEF JOURNEY IS THAT
  • 00:19:07.869 --> 00:19:09.705
  • SUICIDAL IDEATION AS WELLIN MY GRIEF JOURNEY IS THATLIVING WITH THE PAIN
  • 00:19:09.705 --> 00:19:11.373
  • IN MY GRIEF JOURNEY IS THATLIVING WITH THE PAINIS POSSIBLE.
  • 00:19:11.373 --> 00:19:13.175
  • LIVING WITH THE PAINIS POSSIBLE.THERE IS A WAY TO CARRY
  • 00:19:13.175 --> 00:19:15.010
  • IS POSSIBLE.THERE IS A WAY TO CARRYTHE PAIN AND STILL BUILD
  • 00:19:15.010 --> 00:19:16.912
  • THERE IS A WAY TO CARRYTHE PAIN AND STILL BUILDTHE BEAUTIFUL LIFE AROUND IT.
  • 00:19:16.912 --> 00:19:18.046
  • THE PAIN AND STILL BUILDTHE BEAUTIFUL LIFE AROUND IT.AND FOR THE PERSON WHO IS
  • 00:19:18.046 --> 00:19:19.181
  • THE BEAUTIFUL LIFE AROUND IT.AND FOR THE PERSON WHO ISWALKING ALONGSIDE SOMEBODY
  • 00:19:19.181 --> 00:19:20.315
  • AND FOR THE PERSON WHO ISWALKING ALONGSIDE SOMEBODYWHO IS STRUGGLING,
  • 00:19:20.315 --> 00:19:21.516
  • WALKING ALONGSIDE SOMEBODYWHO IS STRUGGLING,I WOULD SAY, KEEP REACHING OUT
  • 00:19:21.516 --> 00:19:22.718
  • WHO IS STRUGGLING,I WOULD SAY, KEEP REACHING OUTFOR HELP TOO.
  • 00:19:22.718 --> 00:19:23.752
  • I WOULD SAY, KEEP REACHING OUTFOR HELP TOO.LIKE YOU CAN'T KEEP
  • 00:19:23.752 --> 00:19:24.820
  • FOR HELP TOO.LIKE YOU CAN'T KEEPPOURING OUT AND YOU CAN'T
  • 00:19:24.820 --> 00:19:25.887
  • LIKE YOU CAN'T KEEPPOURING OUT AND YOU CAN'TKEEP TAKING CARE
  • 00:19:25.887 --> 00:19:26.955
  • POURING OUT AND YOU CAN'TKEEP TAKING CAREOF THIS PERSON
  • 00:19:26.955 --> 00:19:28.156
  • KEEP TAKING CAREOF THIS PERSONTHAT YOU LOVE WITHOUT
  • 00:19:28.156 --> 00:19:29.925
  • OF THIS PERSONTHAT YOU LOVE WITHOUTTAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF.
  • 00:19:29.925 --> 00:19:31.026
  • THAT YOU LOVE WITHOUTTAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF.GO SEE A THERAPIST
  • 00:19:31.026 --> 00:19:32.194
  • TAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF.GO SEE A THERAPISTBY YOURSELF.
  • 00:19:32.194 --> 00:19:34.463
  • GO SEE A THERAPISTBY YOURSELF.SCHEDULE A WEEKEND TRIP AWAY.
  • 00:19:34.463 --> 00:19:35.731
  • BY YOURSELF.SCHEDULE A WEEKEND TRIP AWAY.GO DO THE GIRLS' NIGHT.
  • 00:19:35.731 --> 00:19:36.999
  • SCHEDULE A WEEKEND TRIP AWAY.GO DO THE GIRLS' NIGHT.HIRE THE BABY-SITTER.
  • 00:19:36.999 --> 00:19:38.767
  • GO DO THE GIRLS' NIGHT.HIRE THE BABY-SITTER.LIKE INVITE OTHER PEOPLE
  • 00:19:38.767 --> 00:19:40.402
  • HIRE THE BABY-SITTER.LIKE INVITE OTHER PEOPLEINTO THE PAIN.
  • 00:19:40.402 --> 00:19:41.837
  • LIKE INVITE OTHER PEOPLEINTO THE PAIN.TELL OTHER PEOPLE HOW
  • 00:19:41.837 --> 00:19:42.971
  • INTO THE PAIN.TELL OTHER PEOPLE HOWIT REALLY IS.
  • 00:19:42.971 --> 00:19:43.972
  • TELL OTHER PEOPLE HOWIT REALLY IS.BE TRANSPARENT.
  • 00:19:43.972 --> 00:19:45.407
  • IT REALLY IS.BE TRANSPARENT.BE AUTHENTIC.
  • 00:19:45.407 --> 00:19:46.675
  • BE TRANSPARENT.BE AUTHENTIC.LET PEOPLE IN.
  • 00:19:46.675 --> 00:19:47.776
  • BE AUTHENTIC.LET PEOPLE IN.THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WANT
  • 00:19:47.776 --> 00:19:48.910
  • LET PEOPLE IN.THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WANTTO CARE FOR YOU AND THAT WANT
  • 00:19:48.910 --> 00:19:50.112
  • THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WANTTO CARE FOR YOU AND THAT WANTTO WALK ALONGSIDE YOU TOO
  • 00:19:50.112 --> 00:19:52.948
  • TO CARE FOR YOU AND THAT WANTTO WALK ALONGSIDE YOU TOOAND YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
  • 00:19:52.948 --> 00:19:54.016
  • TO WALK ALONGSIDE YOU TOOAND YOU ARE NOT ALONE.Sheila: FANTASTIC WISDOM,
  • 00:19:54.016 --> 00:19:55.150
  • AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE.Sheila: FANTASTIC WISDOM,KAYLA.
  • 00:19:55.150 --> 00:19:56.285
  • Sheila: FANTASTIC WISDOM,KAYLA.THANK YOU SO MUCH.
  • 00:19:56.285 --> 00:19:57.452
  • KAYLA.THANK YOU SO MUCH.WHAT I'D LIKE TO ASK
  • 00:19:57.452 --> 00:19:58.487
  • THANK YOU SO MUCH.WHAT I'D LIKE TO ASKOUR VIEWERS TO DO RIGHT NOW
  • 00:19:58.487 --> 00:19:59.721
  • WHAT I'D LIKE TO ASKOUR VIEWERS TO DO RIGHT NOWIS WE'RE GOING TO TELL YOU
  • 00:19:59.721 --> 00:20:00.756
  • OUR VIEWERS TO DO RIGHT NOWIS WE'RE GOING TO TELL YOUMORE ABOUT HOW TO GET
  • 00:20:00.756 --> 00:20:01.990
  • IS WE'RE GOING TO TELL YOUMORE ABOUT HOW TO GETA HOLD OF KAYLA'S BOOK.
  • 00:20:01.990 --> 00:20:03.091
  • MORE ABOUT HOW TO GETA HOLD OF KAYLA'S BOOK.BUT THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE
  • 00:20:03.091 --> 00:20:04.793
  • A HOLD OF KAYLA'S BOOK.BUT THERE ARE SOME PEOPLERIGHT NOW WHO ARE SUFFERING
  • 00:20:04.793 --> 00:20:05.961
  • BUT THERE ARE SOME PEOPLERIGHT NOW WHO ARE SUFFERINGAND WHO ARE HURTING AND
  • 00:20:05.961 --> 00:20:07.195
  • RIGHT NOW WHO ARE SUFFERINGAND WHO ARE HURTING ANDWHO CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE
  • 00:20:07.195 --> 00:20:08.930
  • AND WHO ARE HURTING ANDWHO CAN'T EVEN IMAGINELIVING ONE MORE DAY.
  • 00:20:08.930 --> 00:20:11.033
  • WHO CAN'T EVEN IMAGINELIVING ONE MORE DAY.IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF STRUGGLING
  • 00:20:11.033 --> 00:20:12.234
  • LIVING ONE MORE DAY.IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF STRUGGLINGWITH THOUGHTS LIKE THAT,
  • 00:20:12.234 --> 00:20:13.502
  • IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF STRUGGLINGWITH THOUGHTS LIKE THAT,IT'S BECAUSE THEY SIMPLY
  • 00:20:13.502 --> 00:20:14.936
  • WITH THOUGHTS LIKE THAT,IT'S BECAUSE THEY SIMPLYDON'T HAVE ENOUGH FOOD
  • 00:20:14.936 --> 00:20:16.238
  • THAT'S A DESPERATION
  • 00:20:17.639 --> 00:20:19.641
  • THAT'S A DESPERATIONTHAT YOU AND I CAN ADDRESS.
  • 00:20:19.641 --> 00:20:20.942
  • THAT YOU AND I CAN ADDRESS.IF WE BROUGHT ONE OF THESE
  • 00:20:20.942 --> 00:20:23.178
  • IF WE BROUGHT ONE OF THESELITTLE ONES TO YOUR HOME
  • 00:20:23.178 --> 00:20:24.579
  • LITTLE ONES TO YOUR HOMEAND ASKED FOR HELP,
  • 00:20:24.579 --> 00:20:25.947
  • AND ASKED FOR HELP,YOU WOULD HELP IN A MOMENT.
  • 00:20:25.947 --> 00:20:27.182
  • YOU WOULD HELP IN A MOMENT.YOU WOULD SEE THE NEED AND
  • 00:20:27.182 --> 00:20:28.750
  • YOU WOULD SEE THE NEED ANDBE LIKE, "I WANT TO HELP."
  • 00:20:28.750 --> 00:20:30.552
  • BE LIKE, "I WANT TO HELP."THAT'S THE AMAZING GIFT
  • 00:20:30.552 --> 00:20:32.154
  • THAT'S THE AMAZING GIFTWE HAVE THROUGH
  • 00:20:32.154 --> 00:20:33.955
  • WE HAVE THROUGHMISSION FEEDING WITH LIFE .
  • 00:20:33.955 --> 00:20:35.157
  • MISSION FEEDING WITH LIFE .WE CAN BRING YOU
  • 00:20:35.157 --> 00:20:36.558
  • WE CAN BRING YOUTHESE CHILDREN AND SAY,
  • 00:20:36.558 --> 00:20:37.759
  • THESE CHILDREN AND SAY,"LOOK, THESE CHILDREN
  • 00:20:37.759 --> 00:20:38.960
  • "LOOK, THESE CHILDRENNEED YOUR HELP NOW."
  • 00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:40.262
  • NEED YOUR HELP NOW."THIS YEAR HAS BEEN SUCH
  • 00:20:40.262 --> 00:20:42.230
  • THIS YEAR HAS BEEN SUCHAN INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT YEAR
  • 00:20:42.230 --> 00:20:43.999
  • AN INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT YEARFOR SO MANY OF US
  • 00:20:43.999 --> 00:20:45.634
  • FOR SO MANY OF USIN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS.
  • 00:20:45.634 --> 00:20:47.302
  • IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS.BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING
  • 00:20:47.302 --> 00:20:49.638
  • BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE BEINGA MOM IN AFRICA, AND NOT ONLY
  • 00:20:49.638 --> 00:20:52.574
  • A MOM IN AFRICA, AND NOT ONLYARE YOU DEALING WITH COVID
  • 00:20:52.574 --> 00:20:53.675
  • ARE YOU DEALING WITH COVIDBUT YOU'RE DEALING WITH
  • 00:20:53.675 --> 00:20:55.110
  • BUT YOU'RE DEALING WITHYOUR CHILD WHO HAS
  • 00:20:55.110 --> 00:20:57.713
  • YOUR CHILD WHO HASNO RESISTANCE TO ANY KIND
  • 00:20:57.713 --> 00:20:58.980
  • NO RESISTANCE TO ANY KINDOF BACTERIA,
  • 00:20:58.980 --> 00:21:00.716
  • OF BACTERIA,ANY KIND OF PANDEMIC?
  • 00:21:00.716 --> 00:21:02.217
  • ANY KIND OF PANDEMIC?IT IS WAY MORE LIKELY
  • 00:21:02.217 --> 00:21:03.352
  • IT IS WAY MORE LIKELYTHAT THOSE CHILDREN WILL
  • 00:21:03.352 --> 00:21:04.753
  • THAT THOSE CHILDREN WILLLOSE THEIR LIVES DUE
  • 00:21:04.753 --> 00:21:06.021
  • LOSE THEIR LIVES DUETO MALNUTRITION THAN
  • 00:21:06.021 --> 00:21:07.322
  • BUT THE THING THAT BRINGS ME
  • 00:21:09.024 --> 00:21:10.459
  • HOPE AND THE THING THAT
  • 00:21:10.459 --> 00:21:11.827
  • BRINGS ME JOY, AND THE THING
  • 00:21:11.827 --> 00:21:12.994
  • THAT MEANS WE WILL KEEP DOING
  • 00:21:12.994 --> 00:21:14.096
  • THIS UNTIL THE LORD TAKES US
  • 00:21:14.096 --> 00:21:15.831
  • HOME IS BECAUSE WE CAN
  • 00:21:15.831 --> 00:21:17.132
  • DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
  • 00:21:17.132 --> 00:21:20.702
  • DO YOU KNOW THAT FOR $30 YOU--
  • 00:21:20.702 --> 00:21:22.671
  • YOU CAN FEED THREE CHILDREN
  • 00:21:22.671 --> 00:21:24.940
  • FOR THREE WHOLE MONTHS!
  • 00:21:24.940 --> 00:21:26.174
  • THINK ABOUT THAT!
  • 00:21:26.174 --> 00:21:27.576
  • IF YOU'RE ABLE TO DO $50
  • 00:21:27.576 --> 00:21:29.077
  • YOU CAN FEED FIVE CHILDREN
  • 00:21:29.077 --> 00:21:30.412
  • FOR THREE MONTHS.
  • 00:21:30.412 --> 00:21:32.414
  • WE CAN ALL DO SOMETHING.
  • 00:21:32.414 --> 00:21:34.149
  • WE HAVE TOLD THESE MOMS,
  • 00:21:34.149 --> 00:21:35.417
  • WE'VE TOLD OUR FAITHFUL
  • 00:21:35.417 --> 00:21:36.752
  • PARTNERS ON THE GROUND,
  • 00:21:36.752 --> 00:21:38.153
  • "WE WILL COME HOME AND
  • 00:21:38.153 --> 00:21:39.488
  • WE WILL TELL YOUR STORY."
  • 00:21:39.488 --> 00:21:40.956
  • SO PLEASE, WILL YOU GO
  • 00:21:40.956 --> 00:21:42.357
  • TO YOUR PHONE? CALL THE NUMBER
  • 00:21:42.357 --> 00:21:43.592
  • ON YOUR SCREEN.
  • 00:21:43.592 --> 00:21:44.659
  • GIVE THE VERY
  • 00:21:44.659 --> 00:21:46.461
  • BEST GIFT POSSIBLE.
  • 00:21:46.461 --> 00:21:47.629
  • WE'RE BRINGING THE CHILDREN
  • 00:21:47.629 --> 00:21:48.997
  • TO YOU AND YOU CAN SAVE
  • 00:21:48.997 --> 00:21:50.732
  • THEIR LIVES.
  • 00:21:50.732 --> 00:21:50.866
  • TODAY ON TOP OF THE DAILYFIGHT FOR LIFE AND FOOD,
  • 00:21:51.867 --> 00:21:55.170
  • FAMILIES AND CHILDRENACROSS AFRICA ARE NOW FORCED
  • 00:21:55.270 --> 00:21:58.039
  • TO DEAL WITH THE CHALLENGESOF A GLOBAL HEALTH CRISIS.
  • 00:21:58.140 --> 00:22:01.109
  • BECAUSE OF COVID-19,
  • 00:22:01.209 --> 00:22:03.111
  • FOOD SCARCITY HASINCREASED DRASTICALLY
  • 00:22:03.211 --> 00:22:05.113
  • AND THE FEAR OF DYINGFROM LACK OF FOOD
  • 00:22:05.213 --> 00:22:07.616
  • IS FAR GREATERTHAN THE VIRUS ITSELF.
  • 00:22:07.716 --> 00:22:10.352
  • EVEN IN THESEUNPRECEDENTED TIMES,
  • 00:22:10.452 --> 00:22:12.454
  • MISSION FEEDINGWON'T STOP.
  • 00:22:12.554 --> 00:22:14.456
  • WITH YOUR HELP,MISSION FEEDINGWILL CONTINUE TO BE
  • 00:22:14.556 --> 00:22:16.858
  • A DAILY SOURCE OF FOOD,ENCOURAGEMENT, AND HEALTH
  • 00:22:16.958 --> 00:22:19.561
  • FOR THE 350.000 CHILDRENCOUNTING ON US.
  • 00:22:19.661 --> 00:22:23.498
  • CALL NOW WITH YOURLIFESAVING GIFT
  • 00:22:23.598 --> 00:22:25.500
  • OF $30, $50,OR $100
  • 00:22:25.600 --> 00:22:27.502
  • THAT WILL HELPFEED AND CARE
  • 00:22:27.602 --> 00:22:29.504
  • FOR THREE, FIVEOR TEN CHILDREN
  • 00:22:29.604 --> 00:22:31.506
  • FOR THREEFULL MONTHS.
  • 00:22:31.606 --> 00:22:33.642
  • WITH YOUR GIFTWE'LL SEND YOU
  • 00:22:33.742 --> 00:22:35.644
  • 40 DAYSOF HEALING PROMISES.
  • 00:22:35.744 --> 00:22:37.646
  • THIS BEAUTIFULHARDCOVER DEVOTIONAL
  • 00:22:37.746 --> 00:22:39.648
  • WILL ENCOURAGE YOUIN YOUR FAITH
  • 00:22:39.748 --> 00:22:41.650
  • AS YOU DIVE DEEP INTOTHE HEALING PROMISES
  • 00:22:41.750 --> 00:22:43.652
  • THAT ARE YOURSIN JESUS' NAME.
  • 00:22:43.752 --> 00:22:46.121
  • WITH YOUR GIFTOF $100 OR MORE
  • 00:22:46.221 --> 00:22:48.123
  • PLEASE REQUEST THE"BLESSINGS FOR YOUR HOME"
  • 00:22:48.223 --> 00:22:50.125
  • BOWLS ANDTEA TOWEL SET.
  • 00:22:50.225 --> 00:22:52.160
  • THIS SET OF BOWLSAND TWO BEAUTIFULLY DESIGNEDTEA TOWELS
  • 00:22:52.260 --> 00:22:55.197
  • WILL MAKE A WONDERFULADDITION TO YOUR HOME
  • 00:22:55.297 --> 00:22:57.399
  • AND SERVEAS A REMINDER OF YOUR HELPIN BLESSING OTHERS
  • 00:22:57.499 --> 00:23:00.469
  • AS A FRIENDOF LIFE .
  • 00:23:00.569 --> 00:23:02.571
  • FINALLY, WITH YOUR GIFTOF $1.000 OR MORE
  • 00:23:02.671 --> 00:23:05.040
  • TO HELP FEED AND CAREFOR 100 CHILDREN
  • 00:23:05.140 --> 00:23:07.709
  • BE SURE TO REQUESTOUR COMMEMORATIVEBRONZE SCULPTURE,
  • 00:23:07.809 --> 00:23:10.212
  • "A MOTHER'SSTRENGTH."
  • 00:23:10.312 --> 00:23:12.214
  • PLEASE CALL, WRITE, OR MAKEYOUR GIFT ONLINE TODAY.
  • 00:23:12.314 --> 00:23:17.486
  • Sheila: THANK YOU
  • 00:23:23.191 --> 00:23:24.292
  • Sheila: THANK YOUFOR HELPING US.
  • 00:23:24.292 --> 00:23:25.427
  • Sheila: THANK YOUFOR HELPING US.WE CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH.
  • 00:23:25.427 --> 00:23:26.495
  • TO HELP YOU, FEAR GONE WILD :
  • 00:23:28.330 --> 00:23:29.764
  • TO HELP YOU, FEAR GONE WILD :"THE STORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS,
  • 00:23:29.764 --> 00:23:30.866
  • "THE STORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS,SUICIDE AND HOPE
  • 00:23:30.866 --> 00:23:31.967
  • SUICIDE AND HOPETHROUGH LOSS."
  • 00:23:31.967 --> 00:23:33.301
  • THROUGH LOSS."THIS IS AN IMPORTANT BOOK.
  • 00:23:33.301 --> 00:23:34.536
  • THIS IS AN IMPORTANT BOOK.I THINK THIS BOOK SHOULD BE
  • 00:23:34.536 --> 00:23:36.137
  • I THINK THIS BOOK SHOULD BEIN THE HOME OF EVERY AMERICAN.
  • 00:23:36.137 --> 00:23:37.305
  • IN THE HOME OF EVERY AMERICAN.BECAUSE IF YOU'RE NOT
  • 00:23:37.305 --> 00:23:38.473
  • BECAUSE IF YOU'RE NOTSTRUGGLING YOURSELF
  • 00:23:38.473 --> 00:23:40.141
  • STRUGGLING YOURSELFYOU KNOW SOMEBODY WHO IS.
  • 00:23:40.141 --> 00:23:41.476
  • YOU KNOW SOMEBODY WHO IS.SO KAYLA, I JUST WANT
  • 00:23:41.476 --> 00:23:42.644
  • SO KAYLA, I JUST WANTTO THANK YOU FOR WRITING
  • 00:23:42.644 --> 00:23:43.712
  • TO THANK YOU FOR WRITINGTHIS BOOK AND FOR THE COURAGE
  • 00:23:43.712 --> 00:23:44.779
  • YOU'VE SHOWN.
  • 00:23:45.847 --> 00:23:46.882
  • YOU'VE SHOWN.Kayla: THANK YOU SO MUCH.
  • 00:23:46.882 --> 00:23:47.916
  • YOU'VE SHOWN.Kayla: THANK YOU SO MUCH.IT'S BEEN SUCH AN HONOR
  • 00:23:47.916 --> 00:23:49.084
  • THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME
  • 00:23:50.118 --> 00:23:51.520
  • THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING MEAND BEING BRAVE WITH ME
  • 00:23:51.520 --> 00:23:53.321
  • Sheila: THANK YOU.
  • 00:23:54.456 --> 00:23:55.524
  • Sheila: THANK YOU.Randy: THANK ALL YOU GUYS
  • 00:23:55.524 --> 00:23:56.658
  • Sheila: THANK YOU.Randy: THANK ALL YOU GUYSFOR WATCHING.
  • 00:23:56.658 --> 00:23:57.726
  • Randy: THANK ALL YOU GUYSFOR WATCHING.JOIN US AGAIN NEXT TIME
  • 00:23:57.726 --> 00:23:59.561
  • - DO YOU KNOW ONE OF THE MOST
  • 00:24:05.934 --> 00:24:07.102
  • - DO YOU KNOW ONE OF THE MOSTDISCOURAGING SCRIPTURES
  • 00:24:07.102 --> 00:24:08.870
  • DISCOURAGING SCRIPTURESIN THE BIBLE TO ME?
  • 00:24:08.870 --> 00:24:10.105
  • IN THE BIBLE TO ME?IT'S IN THE BOOK OF JAMES
  • 00:24:10.105 --> 00:24:11.740
  • IT'S IN THE BOOK OF JAMESAND IT SAYS: NO MAN
  • 00:24:11.740 --> 00:24:13.675
  • AND IT SAYS: NO MANCAN TAME HIS TONGUE.
  • 00:24:13.675 --> 00:24:15.277
  • WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT
  • 00:24:16.645 --> 00:24:17.979
  • WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT ITYOU THINK, "WELL,
  • 00:24:17.979 --> 00:24:19.147
  • WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT ITYOU THINK, "WELL,WHAT'S THE USE THEN?
  • 00:24:19.147 --> 00:24:20.549
  • YOU THINK, "WELL,WHAT'S THE USE THEN?IF I CAN'T TAME MY TONGUE,
  • 00:24:20.549 --> 00:24:21.917
  • WHAT'S THE USE THEN?IF I CAN'T TAME MY TONGUE,WHY EVEN TRY?"
  • 00:24:21.917 --> 00:24:23.618
  • IF I CAN'T TAME MY TONGUE,WHY EVEN TRY?"IT'S BECAUSE THE BIBLE SAYS
  • 00:24:23.618 --> 00:24:26.321
  • WHY EVEN TRY?"IT'S BECAUSE THE BIBLE SAYSTHAT WE CAN BRIDLE OUR TONGUE.
  • 00:24:26.321 --> 00:24:27.956
  • IT'S BECAUSE THE BIBLE SAYSTHAT WE CAN BRIDLE OUR TONGUE.IN OTHER WORDS, WE CAN DO
  • 00:24:27.956 --> 00:24:30.559
  • THAT WE CAN BRIDLE OUR TONGUE.IN OTHER WORDS, WE CAN DOSOMETHING TO HELP OUR TONGUE
  • 00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:32.861
  • IN OTHER WORDS, WE CAN DOSOMETHING TO HELP OUR TONGUECOME UNDER THE SUBMISSION
  • 00:24:32.861 --> 00:24:34.429
  • SOMETHING TO HELP OUR TONGUECOME UNDER THE SUBMISSIONOF THE HOLY SPIRIT.
  • 00:24:34.429 --> 00:24:35.931
  • COME UNDER THE SUBMISSIONOF THE HOLY SPIRIT.THE BIBLE SAYS NO MAN CAN
  • 00:24:35.931 --> 00:24:37.399
  • OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.THE BIBLE SAYS NO MAN CANTAME THE TONGUE, NO HUMAN,
  • 00:24:37.399 --> 00:24:39.067
  • THE BIBLE SAYS NO MAN CANTAME THE TONGUE, NO HUMAN,NO PERSON CAN TAME THE TONGUE
  • 00:24:39.067 --> 00:24:41.269
  • TAME THE TONGUE, NO HUMAN,NO PERSON CAN TAME THE TONGUEBUT GOD CAN TAME THE TONGUE
  • 00:24:41.269 --> 00:24:43.071
  • NO PERSON CAN TAME THE TONGUEBUT GOD CAN TAME THE TONGUEBECAUSE GOD CREATED IT.
  • 00:24:43.071 --> 00:24:44.506
  • BUT GOD CAN TAME THE TONGUEBECAUSE GOD CREATED IT.YEARS AGO, THE LORD SPOKE
  • 00:24:44.506 --> 00:24:46.174
  • BECAUSE GOD CREATED IT.YEARS AGO, THE LORD SPOKETO ME THREE WORDS THAT
  • 00:24:46.174 --> 00:24:48.443
  • YEARS AGO, THE LORD SPOKETO ME THREE WORDS THATHELPED ME TO TAME MY TONGUE:
  • 00:24:48.443 --> 00:24:51.546
  • TO ME THREE WORDS THATHELPED ME TO TAME MY TONGUE:PAUSE, PONDER, AND PRAY.
  • 00:24:51.546 --> 00:24:53.148
  • HELPED ME TO TAME MY TONGUE:PAUSE, PONDER, AND PRAY.IN OTHER WORDS, BEFORE I SPOKE
  • 00:24:53.148 --> 00:24:54.482
  • PAUSE, PONDER, AND PRAY.IN OTHER WORDS, BEFORE I SPOKEJUST PAUSE.
  • 00:24:54.482 --> 00:24:56.384
  • IN OTHER WORDS, BEFORE I SPOKEJUST PAUSE.JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO THINK
  • 00:24:56.384 --> 00:24:58.486
  • JUST PAUSE.JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO THINKABOUT WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY.
  • 00:24:58.486 --> 00:25:00.088
  • JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO THINKABOUT WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY.THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIMES
  • 00:25:00.088 --> 00:25:01.489
  • ABOUT WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY.THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIMESWE'VE SAID THINGS THAT
  • 00:25:01.489 --> 00:25:02.791
  • THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIMESWE'VE SAID THINGS THATWE WISH WE COULD
  • 00:25:02.791 --> 00:25:04.326
  • WE'VE SAID THINGS THATWE WISH WE COULDTAKE THOSE WORDS BACK.
  • 00:25:04.326 --> 00:25:06.127
  • WE WISH WE COULDTAKE THOSE WORDS BACK.SO JUST PAUSE FOR A MOMENT
  • 00:25:06.127 --> 00:25:07.562
  • TAKE THOSE WORDS BACK.SO JUST PAUSE FOR A MOMENTBEFORE I SPEAK.
  • 00:25:07.562 --> 00:25:09.864
  • SO JUST PAUSE FOR A MOMENTBEFORE I SPEAK.THEN PONDER, THINK ABOUT IT.
  • 00:25:09.864 --> 00:25:11.600
  • BEFORE I SPEAK.THEN PONDER, THINK ABOUT IT.HOW'S THIS GOING TO SOUND?
  • 00:25:11.600 --> 00:25:12.867
  • THEN PONDER, THINK ABOUT IT.HOW'S THIS GOING TO SOUND?IS THIS GOING TO COME OUT
  • 00:25:12.867 --> 00:25:14.269
  • IS THIS GOING
  • 00:25:15.370 --> 00:25:16.471
  • IS THIS GOINGTO MINISTER LIFE?
  • 00:25:16.471 --> 00:25:17.572
  • TO MINISTER LIFE?OR IS IT GOING
  • 00:25:17.572 --> 00:25:18.673
  • OR IS IT GOINGTO MINISTER DEATH?
  • 00:25:18.673 --> 00:25:20.108
  • TO MINISTER DEATH?PROVERBS TELLS US THAT LIFE
  • 00:25:20.108 --> 00:25:21.743
  • PROVERBS TELLS US THAT LIFEAND DEATH ARE IN THE POWER
  • 00:25:21.743 --> 00:25:23.111
  • AND DEATH ARE IN THE POWEROF THE TONGUE.
  • 00:25:23.111 --> 00:25:24.346
  • WE ARE EITHER SPEAKING LIFE
  • 00:25:26.047 --> 00:25:27.616
  • WE ARE EITHER SPEAKING LIFEOVER PEOPLE
  • 00:25:27.616 --> 00:25:28.950
  • WE ARE EITHER SPEAKING LIFEOVER PEOPLEOR WE'RE SPEAKING DEATH.
  • 00:25:28.950 --> 00:25:30.285
  • OVER PEOPLEOR WE'RE SPEAKING DEATH.WE ARE AGREEING WITH
  • 00:25:30.285 --> 00:25:32.354
  • OR WE'RE SPEAKING DEATH.WE ARE AGREEING WITHTHE CREATOR OR WE ARE
  • 00:25:32.354 --> 00:25:34.823
  • WE ARE AGREEING WITHTHE CREATOR OR WE AREAGREEING WITH THE DESTROYER.
  • 00:25:34.823 --> 00:25:36.224
  • THE CREATOR OR WE AREAGREEING WITH THE DESTROYER.SO FOR A MOMENT BEFORE
  • 00:25:36.224 --> 00:25:38.293
  • AGREEING WITH THE DESTROYER.SO FOR A MOMENT BEFOREI SPEAK, I WANT TO JUST THINK
  • 00:25:38.293 --> 00:25:40.061
  • SO FOR A MOMENT BEFOREI SPEAK, I WANT TO JUST THINKABOUT WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY
  • 00:25:40.061 --> 00:25:41.529
  • I SPEAK, I WANT TO JUST THINKABOUT WHAT I'M GOING TO SAYAND JUST SAY, "LORD, I DON'T
  • 00:25:41.529 --> 00:25:43.031
  • ABOUT WHAT I'M GOING TO SAYAND JUST SAY, "LORD, I DON'TWANT TO SAY SOMETHING THAT
  • 00:25:43.031 --> 00:25:44.799
  • AND JUST SAY, "LORD, I DON'TWANT TO SAY SOMETHING THATIS GOING TO HURT THIS PERSON."
  • 00:25:44.799 --> 00:25:46.134
  • WANT TO SAY SOMETHING THATIS GOING TO HURT THIS PERSON."THAT'S WHERE STEP THREE
  • 00:25:46.134 --> 00:25:47.936
  • IS GOING TO HURT THIS PERSON."THAT'S WHERE STEP THREECOMES IN: PAUSE, PONDER,
  • 00:25:47.936 --> 00:25:49.537
  • THAT'S WHERE STEP THREECOMES IN: PAUSE, PONDER,AND PRAY.
  • 00:25:49.537 --> 00:25:50.872
  • COMES IN: PAUSE, PONDER,AND PRAY.HOLY SPIRIT, WHAT DO YOU
  • 00:25:50.872 --> 00:25:52.374
  • AND PRAY.HOLY SPIRIT, WHAT DO YOUWANT ME TO SAY?
  • 00:25:52.374 --> 00:25:53.908
  • HOLY SPIRIT, WHAT DO YOUWANT ME TO SAY?SO MANY TIMES GOD WILL GIVE US
  • 00:25:53.908 --> 00:25:56.277
  • WANT ME TO SAY?SO MANY TIMES GOD WILL GIVE USWORDS TO SAY THAT AFTER
  • 00:25:56.277 --> 00:25:57.846
  • SO MANY TIMES GOD WILL GIVE USWORDS TO SAY THAT AFTERWE SAY THEM THE PERSON WILL
  • 00:25:57.846 --> 00:25:59.914
  • WORDS TO SAY THAT AFTERWE SAY THEM THE PERSON WILLSAY, "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
  • 00:25:59.914 --> 00:26:01.616
  • WE SAY THEM THE PERSON WILLSAY, "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOWWHAT YOU JUST SAID.
  • 00:26:01.616 --> 00:26:03.351
  • SAY, "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOWWHAT YOU JUST SAID.YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH
  • 00:26:03.351 --> 00:26:05.020
  • WHAT YOU JUST SAID.YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCHI NEEDED TO HEAR THAT."
  • 00:26:05.020 --> 00:26:06.955
  • YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCHI NEEDED TO HEAR THAT."SO BECAUSE LIFE AND DEATH ARE
  • 00:26:06.955 --> 00:26:08.690
  • I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT."SO BECAUSE LIFE AND DEATH AREIN THE POWER OF THE TONGUE,
  • 00:26:08.690 --> 00:26:09.958
  • SO BECAUSE LIFE AND DEATH AREIN THE POWER OF THE TONGUE,I WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU,
  • 00:26:09.958 --> 00:26:11.559
  • IN THE POWER OF THE TONGUE,I WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU,TAKE A MOMENT TODAY
  • 00:26:11.559 --> 00:26:13.294
  • I WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU,TAKE A MOMENT TODAYAND BEFORE YOU SPEAK,
  • 00:26:13.294 --> 00:26:17.065
  • TAKE A MOMENT TODAYAND BEFORE YOU SPEAK,JUST PAUSE, PONDER, AND PRAY.
  • 00:26:17.065 --> 00:26:18.433
  • AND BEFORE YOU SPEAK,JUST PAUSE, PONDER, AND PRAY.AND WHEN YOU PRAY,
  • 00:26:18.433 --> 00:26:19.701
  • JUST PAUSE, PONDER, AND PRAY.AND WHEN YOU PRAY,ASK THE LORD, "IS THERE
  • 00:26:19.701 --> 00:26:21.436
  • AND WHEN YOU PRAY,ASK THE LORD, "IS THERESOMEONE I SHOULD CALL TODAY?
  • 00:26:21.436 --> 00:26:22.904
  • ASK THE LORD, "IS THERESOMEONE I SHOULD CALL TODAY?IS THERE SOMEONE THAT
  • 00:26:22.904 --> 00:26:24.472
  • SOMEONE I SHOULD CALL TODAY?IS THERE SOMEONE THATI SHOULD MINISTER TO?"
  • 00:26:24.472 --> 00:26:25.774
  • IS THERE SOMEONE THATI SHOULD MINISTER TO?"AND LET THE LORD USE
  • 00:26:25.774 --> 00:26:27.475
  • I SHOULD MINISTER TO?"AND LET THE LORD USEYOUR MOUTH TO SPEAK LIFE
  • 00:26:27.475 --> 00:26:29.411
  • AND LET THE LORD USEYOUR MOUTH TO SPEAK LIFEOVER EVERY PERSON
  • 00:26:29.411 --> 00:26:31.513
  • 00:26:34.449 --> 00:26:41.389
  • 00:26:48.329 --> 00:26:55.236
  • TOMORROW, BEST-SELLING AUTHOR,CHRYSTAL EVANS HURST
  • 00:27:02.177 --> 00:27:05.413
  • OPENS UP ABOUT HER PRAYERJOURNEY AFTER HER MOM DIED.
  • 00:27:05.513 --> 00:27:08.917
  • - GOD, I WOULD LOVETO KNOW WHY.
  • 00:27:09.017 --> 00:27:11.653
  • LIFE TODAY IS MADEPOSSIBLE BY THE SUPPORTERS OFLIFE OUTREACH INTERNATIONAL.
  • 00:27:12.654 --> 00:27:16.057
  • YOUR GIFT WILL BE USEDEXCLUSIVELY FOR THE EXEMPTPURPOSES OF LIFE.
  • 00:27:16.157 --> 00:27:19.160
  • THE MINISTRY FEATURESSPECIFIC OUTREACHES
  • 00:27:19.260 --> 00:27:21.229
  • AS EXAMPLES OF THE PROGRAMSIT SUPPORTS AND CONDUCTS.
  • 00:27:21.329 --> 00:27:23.298
  • GIFTS ARE CONSIDEREDTO BE WITHOUT RESTRICTION
  • 00:27:23.398 --> 00:27:25.366
  • AS TO USE UNLESS EXPLICITLYSTIPULATED BY THE DONOR.
  • 00:27:25.467 --> 00:27:27.502
  • THE MINISTRY IS A MEMBEROF THE E.C.F.A.
  • 00:27:27.602 --> 00:27:29.010