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Kayla Stoecklein | Fear Gone Wild

December 15, 2020

27:29

Hosted by James and Betty Robison; this program features guests who have emerged victorious from difficulties in their lives.

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Kayla Stoecklein | Fear Gone Wild

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- GOD, WHY ARE YOUALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN?
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AND WHY AREN'T YOUINTERVENING?
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AND WHY AREN'T YOUHEALING HIM?
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WE'RE PRAYING AND WE HAVEPEOPLE OVER TO OUR HOUSE
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TO PRAY ANDANOINT HIM WITH OIL.
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IT JUST FELT LIKENOTHING WAS WORKING.
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I WAS LEFT JUST ASKINGWHERE ARE YOU GOD?
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WHY AREN'T YOU FIXING THIS?AND I WAS EXHAUSTED.
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ON AUGUST 25th, 2018,PASTOR ANDREW STOECKLEINDIED FROM SUICIDE.
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HIS WIDOWNOW SHARES HER JOURNEY
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TO BETTER UNDERSTANDHIS BATTLE.
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♪
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Randy: WELCOME TO LIFE TODAY !
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Randy: WELCOME TO LIFE TODAY !I'M RANDY ROBISON.
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Randy: WELCOME TO LIFE TODAY !I'M RANDY ROBISON.SHEILA WALSH IS WITH ME.
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I'M RANDY ROBISON.SHEILA WALSH IS WITH ME.YOU KNOW 2020 HAS BEEN
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A LOT OF PEOPLE AND NOT
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A LOT OF PEOPLE AND NOTJUST WITH THE COVID BUT WITH
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A LOT OF PEOPLE AND NOTJUST WITH THE COVID BUT WITHSOME OF THE RAMIFICATIONS
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JUST WITH THE COVID BUT WITHSOME OF THE RAMIFICATIONSOF THE LOCK DOWNS
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SOME OF THE RAMIFICATIONSOF THE LOCK DOWNSAND THE JOB LOSS
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OF THE LOCK DOWNSAND THE JOB LOSSAND THE UNCERTAINTY.
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AND THE JOB LOSSAND THE UNCERTAINTY.SO I THINK TODAY'S PROGRAM
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AND THE UNCERTAINTY.SO I THINK TODAY'S PROGRAMIS ACTUALLY GOING TO BE
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SO I THINK TODAY'S PROGRAMIS ACTUALLY GOING TO BEVERY IMPORTANT, POSSIBLY
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IS ACTUALLY GOING TO BEVERY IMPORTANT, POSSIBLYEVEN CRITICAL FOR MANY
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VERY IMPORTANT, POSSIBLYEVEN CRITICAL FOR MANYOF YOU AND THOSE YOU LOVE.
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EVEN CRITICAL FOR MANYOF YOU AND THOSE YOU LOVE.SHEILA, THIS IS A TOUGH
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OF YOU AND THOSE YOU LOVE.SHEILA, THIS IS A TOUGHSUBJECT BUT WE HAVE
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SHEILA, THIS IS A TOUGHSUBJECT BUT WE HAVEA WONDERFUL GUEST WHO IS
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SUBJECT BUT WE HAVEA WONDERFUL GUEST WHO ISREALLY GOING TO HELP US
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A WONDERFUL GUEST WHO ISREALLY GOING TO HELP USWALK THROUGH SOME
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REALLY GOING TO HELP USWALK THROUGH SOMEOF THESE THINGS.
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WALK THROUGH SOMEOF THESE THINGS.Sheila: WHEN I FIRST MET
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OF THESE THINGS.Sheila: WHEN I FIRST METTHIS YOUNG MOM ONLINE I WAS
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Sheila: WHEN I FIRST METTHIS YOUNG MOM ONLINE I WASSO BLOWN AWAY BY HER STORY
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THIS YOUNG MOM ONLINE I WASSO BLOWN AWAY BY HER STORYAND IT RANG SOME REALLY
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SO BLOWN AWAY BY HER STORYAND IT RANG SOME REALLYPRETTY DEEP BELLS
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BUT SHE HAS HER OWN STORY
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BUT SHE HAS HER OWN STORYTO TELL.
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BUT SHE HAS HER OWN STORYTO TELL.I JUST WANT YOU TO PLEASE
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TO TELL.I JUST WANT YOU TO PLEASEWELCOME KAYLA STOECKLEIN
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I JUST WANT YOU TO PLEASEWELCOME KAYLA STOECKLEINTO THE PROGRAM.
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WELCOME KAYLA STOECKLEINTO THE PROGRAM.I'M SO GLAD
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TO THE PROGRAM.I'M SO GLADYOU'RE WITH US, KAYLA.
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I'M SO GLADYOU'RE WITH US, KAYLA.Kayla: THANKS SO MUCH
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YOU'RE WITH US, KAYLA.Kayla: THANKS SO MUCHFOR HAVING ME.
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Kayla: THANKS SO MUCHFOR HAVING ME.IT'S SUCH AN HONOR.
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FOR HAVING ME.IT'S SUCH AN HONOR.Sheila: I REMEMBER WITH
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IT'S SUCH AN HONOR.Sheila: I REMEMBER WITHTHE REST OF AMERICA,
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Sheila: I REMEMBER WITHTHE REST OF AMERICA,THE REST OF THE CHURCH
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THE REST OF AMERICA,THE REST OF THE CHURCHHEARING THE NEWS THAT
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THE REST OF THE CHURCHHEARING THE NEWS THATYOUR HUSBAND HAD DIED
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HEARING THE NEWS THATYOUR HUSBAND HAD DIEDBY SUICIDE --
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YOUR HUSBAND HAD DIEDBY SUICIDE --THE HORROR OF THAT.
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BY SUICIDE --THE HORROR OF THAT.BUT I WONDER IF YOU WOULD
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THE HORROR OF THAT.BUT I WONDER IF YOU WOULDTAKE US BACK TO,
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BUT I WONDER IF YOU WOULDTAKE US BACK TO,WHEN YOU'RE JUST MARRIED,
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TAKE US BACK TO,WHEN YOU'RE JUST MARRIED,YOU'RE A MOM,
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WHEN YOU'RE JUST MARRIED,YOU'RE A MOM,YOU HAVE CHILDREN,
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YOU'RE A MOM,YOU HAVE CHILDREN,YOU HAVE THE PERFECT HOUSE,
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YOU HAVE CHILDREN,YOU HAVE THE PERFECT HOUSE,YOU HAVE THE PERFECT LIFE.
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YOU HAVE THE PERFECT HOUSE,YOU HAVE THE PERFECT LIFE.WHAT BEGAN TO HAPPEN?
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YOU HAVE THE PERFECT LIFE.WHAT BEGAN TO HAPPEN?WHEN DID YOU FIRST THINK
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WHAT BEGAN TO HAPPEN?WHEN DID YOU FIRST THINKTHERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING
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WHEN DID YOU FIRST THINKTHERE MIGHT BE SOMETHINGGOING ON WITH YOUR HUSBAND?
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THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHINGGOING ON WITH YOUR HUSBAND?Kayla: SURE.
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GOING ON WITH YOUR HUSBAND?Kayla: SURE.JUST A FEW YEARS AGO
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Kayla: SURE.JUST A FEW YEARS AGOI WAS LIVING THE LIFE
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JUST A FEW YEARS AGOI WAS LIVING THE LIFEOF MY DREAMS.
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I WAS LIVING THE LIFEOF MY DREAMS.I HAD EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE
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I WAS MARRIED TO ANDREW.
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I WAS MARRIED TO ANDREW.HE WAS A LEAD PASTOR
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I WAS MARRIED TO ANDREW.HE WAS A LEAD PASTOROF OUR CHURCH.
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HE WAS A LEAD PASTOROF OUR CHURCH.WE HAD THREE SMALL KIDS
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OF OUR CHURCH.WE HAD THREE SMALL KIDSAND WE WERE LIVING
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I HAD THE MOM CAR,
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I HAD THE MOM CAR,THE BIG SUBURBAN.
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THE BIG SUBURBAN.LIKE I REALLY HAD EVERYTHING
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LIKE I REALLY HAD EVERYTHINGI WOULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED
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AND IT WAS A GOOD LIFE!
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AND IT WAS A GOOD LIFE!I LOVED BEING A PASTOR'S WIFE.
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AND IT WAS A GOOD LIFE!I LOVED BEING A PASTOR'S WIFE.I LOVED DOING MINISTRY
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I LOVED BEING A PASTOR'S WIFE.I LOVED DOING MINISTRYWITH HIM.
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I LOVED DOING MINISTRYWITH HIM.IT FELT LIKE SUCH A HUGE
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WITH HIM.IT FELT LIKE SUCH A HUGECALLING AND I FELT SO HONORED
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IT FELT LIKE SUCH A HUGECALLING AND I FELT SO HONOREDTHAT GOD HAD CALLED ME
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CALLING AND I FELT SO HONOREDTHAT GOD HAD CALLED METO BE HIS WIFE AND
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THAT GOD HAD CALLED METO BE HIS WIFE ANDTO DO THIS JOB WITH HIM.
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TO BE HIS WIFE ANDTO DO THIS JOB WITH HIM.I FOUND MY NICHES IN MINISTRY.
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TO DO THIS JOB WITH HIM.I FOUND MY NICHES IN MINISTRY.I WAS SERVING ON THE WOMEN'S
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I FOUND MY NICHES IN MINISTRY.I WAS SERVING ON THE WOMEN'SEVENTS TEAM AND
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I WAS SERVING ON THE WOMEN'SEVENTS TEAM ANDIN THE MOMS' GROUP.
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EVENTS TEAM ANDIN THE MOMS' GROUP.I WAS ALSO JUST SERVING HIM
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IN THE MOMS' GROUP.I WAS ALSO JUST SERVING HIMAND DOING WHATEVER I COULD
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I WAS ALSO JUST SERVING HIMAND DOING WHATEVER I COULDTO HELP HIM PREPARE
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AND DOING WHATEVER I COULDTO HELP HIM PREPAREFOR SUNDAYS AND GET READY
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TO HELP HIM PREPAREFOR SUNDAYS AND GET READYFOR THE WEEKEND AND GET
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FOR SUNDAYS AND GET READYFOR THE WEEKEND AND GETHIS HEAD ON STRAIGHT.
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FOR THE WEEKEND AND GETHIS HEAD ON STRAIGHT.I JUST LOVED IT.
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HIS HEAD ON STRAIGHT.I JUST LOVED IT.IT WAS A REALLY GREAT LIFE.
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I JUST LOVED IT.IT WAS A REALLY GREAT LIFE.AND THE CHURCH WAS WONDERFUL.
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IT WAS A REALLY GREAT LIFE.AND THE CHURCH WAS WONDERFUL.OUR CHURCH HAD WALKED
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AND THE CHURCH WAS WONDERFUL.OUR CHURCH HAD WALKEDTHROUGH A VERY DIFFICULT
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OUR CHURCH HAD WALKEDTHROUGH A VERY DIFFICULTFOUR-YEAR JOURNEY.
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THROUGH A VERY DIFFICULTFOUR-YEAR JOURNEY.HIS FATHER WAS THE LEAD
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FOUR-YEAR JOURNEY.HIS FATHER WAS THE LEADPASTOR OF THE CHURCH.
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HIS FATHER WAS THE LEADPASTOR OF THE CHURCH.HE STARTED THE CHURCH
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PASTOR OF THE CHURCH.HE STARTED THE CHURCHWHEN MY HUSBAND WAS THREE.
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HE STARTED THE CHURCHWHEN MY HUSBAND WAS THREE.HE HAD PASSED AWAY
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WHEN MY HUSBAND WAS THREE.HE HAD PASSED AWAYIN 2015 FROM LEUKEMIA.
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HE HAD PASSED AWAYIN 2015 FROM LEUKEMIA.SO OUR CHURCH HAD WALKED
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IN 2015 FROM LEUKEMIA.SO OUR CHURCH HAD WALKEDTHROUGH A LOT AND MY HUSBAND
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SO OUR CHURCH HAD WALKEDTHROUGH A LOT AND MY HUSBANDHAD TAKEN OVER DURING
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THROUGH A LOT AND MY HUSBANDHAD TAKEN OVER DURINGTHAT JOURNEY.
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HAD TAKEN OVER DURINGTHAT JOURNEY.BUT THEY WELCOMED HIM
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THAT JOURNEY.BUT THEY WELCOMED HIMWITH LOVING ARMS AND EMBRACED
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BUT THEY WELCOMED HIMWITH LOVING ARMS AND EMBRACEDHIM AS THE LEAD PASTOR.
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WITH LOVING ARMS AND EMBRACEDHIM AS THE LEAD PASTOR.AND THE CHURCH WAS THRIVING
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HIM AS THE LEAD PASTOR.AND THE CHURCH WAS THRIVINGAND THE CHURCH WAS GROWING
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AND THE CHURCH WAS THRIVINGAND THE CHURCH WAS GROWINGUNDER HIS LEADERSHIP.
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AND THE CHURCH WAS GROWINGUNDER HIS LEADERSHIP.HE WAS THE YOUNG, COOL,
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UNDER HIS LEADERSHIP.HE WAS THE YOUNG, COOL,HIP PASTOR IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
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HE WAS THE YOUNG, COOL,HIP PASTOR IN THE NEIGHBORHOODAND IT WAS SUCH AN HONOR
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HIP PASTOR IN THE NEIGHBORHOODAND IT WAS SUCH AN HONORTO SIT IN THE FRONT ROW
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Sheila: YOU TALK IN THE BOOK
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Sheila: YOU TALK IN THE BOOKABOUT THAT FIRST MAJOR
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HELP PEOPLE WHO DON'T
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HELP PEOPLE WHO DON'TUNDERSTAND WHAT THAT IS
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HELP PEOPLE WHO DON'TUNDERSTAND WHAT THAT ISTO KNOW WHAT THAT IS AND
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UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT ISTO KNOW WHAT THAT IS ANDWHAT DO YOU THINK LED UP
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TO KNOW WHAT THAT IS ANDWHAT DO YOU THINK LED UPTO THAT FOR HIM?
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WHAT DO YOU THINK LED UPTO THAT FOR HIM?Kayla: YEAH. SO IT WAS 2017
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TO THAT FOR HIM?Kayla: YEAH. SO IT WAS 2017WHEN THINGS REALLY
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Kayla: YEAH. SO IT WAS 2017WHEN THINGS REALLYSTARTED TO CHANGE FOR US.
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WHEN THINGS REALLYSTARTED TO CHANGE FOR US.WE HAD A STALKER ISSUE
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STARTED TO CHANGE FOR US.WE HAD A STALKER ISSUEIN OUR FAMILY, WHICH
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WE HAD A STALKER ISSUEIN OUR FAMILY, WHICHOFTENTIMES HAPPENS FOR PEOPLE
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IN OUR FAMILY, WHICHOFTENTIMES HAPPENS FOR PEOPLEWHO ARE IN THE LIMELIGHT
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OFTENTIMES HAPPENS FOR PEOPLEWHO ARE IN THE LIMELIGHTIN A COMMUNITY.
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WHO ARE IN THE LIMELIGHTIN A COMMUNITY.I'M SURE OTHER PASTORS HAVE
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IN A COMMUNITY.I'M SURE OTHER PASTORS HAVEHAD SIMILAR EXPERIENCES.
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I'M SURE OTHER PASTORS HAVEHAD SIMILAR EXPERIENCES.WELL, WE HAD THIS STALKER
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HAD SIMILAR EXPERIENCES.WELL, WE HAD THIS STALKERISSUE AND I REALLY THINK
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WELL, WE HAD THIS STALKERISSUE AND I REALLY THINKIT WAS THE BIGGEST INVITATION
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ISSUE AND I REALLY THINKIT WAS THE BIGGEST INVITATIONFOR FEAR FOR MY HUSBAND.
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IT WAS THE BIGGEST INVITATIONFOR FEAR FOR MY HUSBAND.SO THIS FEAR STARTED
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FOR FEAR FOR MY HUSBAND.SO THIS FEAR STARTEDTRICKLING IN AND HE STARTED
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SO THIS FEAR STARTEDTRICKLING IN AND HE STARTEDEXPERIENCING PANIC ATTACKS.
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TRICKLING IN AND HE STARTEDEXPERIENCING PANIC ATTACKS.AND THESE PANIC ATTACKS
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EXPERIENCING PANIC ATTACKS.AND THESE PANIC ATTACKSWERE SO DEBILITATING.
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AND THESE PANIC ATTACKSWERE SO DEBILITATING.HE HAD NEVER HAD THEM BEFORE.
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WERE SO DEBILITATING.HE HAD NEVER HAD THEM BEFORE.I HAD NEVER WITNESSED
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HE HAD NEVER HAD THEM BEFORE.I HAD NEVER WITNESSEDA PANIC ATTACK BEFORE
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I HAD NEVER WITNESSEDA PANIC ATTACK BEFOREAND THEY WOULD MOSTLY HAPPEN
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A PANIC ATTACK BEFOREAND THEY WOULD MOSTLY HAPPENAT NIGHT WHEN HE WAS TRYING
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AND THEY WOULD MOSTLY HAPPENAT NIGHT WHEN HE WAS TRYINGTO FALL ASLEEP AT NIGHT.
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AT NIGHT WHEN HE WAS TRYINGTO FALL ASLEEP AT NIGHT.IT WOULD COME ON WITH
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TO FALL ASLEEP AT NIGHT.IT WOULD COME ON WITHTHIS ACHE AND INTENSE PAIN
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IT WOULD COME ON WITHTHIS ACHE AND INTENSE PAININ HIS CHEST AND IT WOULD JUST
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THIS ACHE AND INTENSE PAININ HIS CHEST AND IT WOULD JUSTSPREAD THROUGHOUT HIS BODY.
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IN HIS CHEST AND IT WOULD JUSTSPREAD THROUGHOUT HIS BODY.I WILL NEVER FORGET HIS EYES.
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SPREAD THROUGHOUT HIS BODY.I WILL NEVER FORGET HIS EYES.HIS EYES WOULD GLAZE OVER
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I WILL NEVER FORGET HIS EYES.HIS EYES WOULD GLAZE OVERAND HE WOULD BE GONE.
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HIS EYES WOULD GLAZE OVERAND HE WOULD BE GONE.THERE WOULD BE NOTHING
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AND HE WOULD BE GONE.THERE WOULD BE NOTHINGTHAT I COULD DO TO REACH HIM.
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THERE WOULD BE NOTHINGTHAT I COULD DO TO REACH HIM.I JUST HAD TO WAIT IT OUT
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THAT I COULD DO TO REACH HIM.I JUST HAD TO WAIT IT OUTUNTIL THE FEAR SUBSIDED.
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I JUST HAD TO WAIT IT OUTUNTIL THE FEAR SUBSIDED.SO THOSE WERE HAPPENING
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UNTIL THE FEAR SUBSIDED.SO THOSE WERE HAPPENINGTWO TO THREE TIMES A WEEK.
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SO THOSE WERE HAPPENINGTWO TO THREE TIMES A WEEK.AT FIRST HE WAS ABLE TO
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TWO TO THREE TIMES A WEEK.AT FIRST HE WAS ABLE TOMAINTAIN THEM BUT OVER TIME
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AT FIRST HE WAS ABLE TOMAINTAIN THEM BUT OVER TIMETHEY GREW AND THEY STARTED
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MAINTAIN THEM BUT OVER TIMETHEY GREW AND THEY STARTEDHAPPENING DURING THE DAY,
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THEY GREW AND THEY STARTEDHAPPENING DURING THE DAY,AND EVENTUALLY LANDED HIM
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HAPPENING DURING THE DAY,AND EVENTUALLY LANDED HIMIN THE HOSPITAL.
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AND EVENTUALLY LANDED HIMIN THE HOSPITAL.THAT'S WHEN WE DECIDED
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HE'S BEEN HAVING THESE --
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HE'S BEEN HAVING THESE --HE'D BEEN HAVING THEM
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HE'D BEEN HAVING THEMFOR MONTHS.
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FOR MONTHS.THE DOCTORS WERE NOT FINDING
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THE DOCTORS WERE NOT FINDINGANYTHING WRONG WITH HIM.
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WHERE ARE THESE COMING FROM?
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WHERE ARE THESE COMING FROM?WHY ARE THEY HAPPENING?
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WHERE ARE THESE COMING FROM?WHY ARE THEY HAPPENING?WHY IS HE BEING SO DEBILITATED
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WHY ARE THEY HAPPENING?WHY IS HE BEING SO DEBILITATEDBY THEM AND WHY AREN'T
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WHY IS HE BEING SO DEBILITATEDBY THEM AND WHY AREN'TTHEY GOING AWAY?
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BY THEM AND WHY AREN'TTHEY GOING AWAY?SO WE PUT HIM ON
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THEY GOING AWAY?SO WE PUT HIM ONTHIS SABBATICAL AND IT WAS
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SO WE PUT HIM ONTHIS SABBATICAL AND IT WASTHEN THAT HE WAS DIAGNOSED
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Randy: I THINK THE DIFFICULTY,
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Randy: I THINK THE DIFFICULTY,ESPECIALLY FOR PEOPLE
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ESPECIALLY FOR PEOPLEIN THE CHURCH, KAYLA
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IN THE CHURCH, KAYLAIS THAT WHEN WE LOOK AT
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IS THAT WHEN WE LOOK ATSOMETHING LIKE THIS,
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THAT IS SPIRITUAL,
00:05:39.962 --> 00:05:41.664
THAT IS SPIRITUAL,THAT IS EMOTIONAL,
00:05:41.664 --> 00:05:44.867
THAT IS SPIRITUAL,THAT IS EMOTIONAL,AND IT IS PHYSICAL.
00:05:44.867 --> 00:05:46.369
THAT IS EMOTIONAL,AND IT IS PHYSICAL.A LOT OF TIMES,
00:05:46.369 --> 00:05:47.904
AND IT IS PHYSICAL.A LOT OF TIMES,IT IS DIFFICULT FOR EVEN
00:05:47.904 --> 00:05:49.172
A LOT OF TIMES,IT IS DIFFICULT FOR EVENTHE MEDICAL COMMUNITY
00:05:49.172 --> 00:05:50.273
IT IS DIFFICULT FOR EVENTHE MEDICAL COMMUNITYSOMETIMES TO KNOW HOW
00:05:50.273 --> 00:05:51.474
THE MEDICAL COMMUNITYSOMETIMES TO KNOW HOWTO DEAL WITH IT PROPERLY,
00:05:51.474 --> 00:05:53.309
SOMETIMES TO KNOW HOWTO DEAL WITH IT PROPERLY,AND IN THE CHURCH AS WELL.
00:05:53.309 --> 00:05:55.945
TO DEAL WITH IT PROPERLY,AND IN THE CHURCH AS WELL.WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUT
00:05:55.945 --> 00:05:57.613
AND IN THE CHURCH AS WELL.WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUTTHIS WHOLE BALANCE BETWEEN
00:05:57.613 --> 00:06:00.349
WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUTTHIS WHOLE BALANCE BETWEENTHE BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT
00:06:00.349 --> 00:06:03.052
THIS WHOLE BALANCE BETWEENTHE BODY, MIND, AND SPIRITAND HOW THESE SORTS OF THINGS,
00:06:03.052 --> 00:06:05.087
THE BODY, MIND, AND SPIRITAND HOW THESE SORTS OF THINGS,THEY CAN CROSS THEM?
00:06:05.087 --> 00:06:06.756
AND HOW THESE SORTS OF THINGS,THEY CAN CROSS THEM?AND THEY CAN BE COMPLICATED.
00:06:06.756 --> 00:06:08.791
THEY CAN CROSS THEM?AND THEY CAN BE COMPLICATED.WHAT'S YOUR EXPERIENCE?
00:06:08.791 --> 00:06:10.059
AND THEY CAN BE COMPLICATED.WHAT'S YOUR EXPERIENCE?Kayla: YOU'RE EXACTLY RIGHT.
00:06:10.059 --> 00:06:11.427
WHAT'S YOUR EXPERIENCE?Kayla: YOU'RE EXACTLY RIGHT.I'LL NEVER FORGET ANDREW'S
00:06:11.427 --> 00:06:12.695
Kayla: YOU'RE EXACTLY RIGHT.I'LL NEVER FORGET ANDREW'SPSYCHIATRIST TELLING US
00:06:12.695 --> 00:06:13.996
I'LL NEVER FORGET ANDREW'SPSYCHIATRIST TELLING USTHAT WE KNOW A DROP
00:06:13.996 --> 00:06:15.665
PSYCHIATRIST TELLING USTHAT WE KNOW A DROPIN THE OCEAN OF THE BRAIN.
00:06:15.665 --> 00:06:16.966
THAT WE KNOW A DROPIN THE OCEAN OF THE BRAIN.THE BRAIN IS A MYSTERY,
00:06:16.966 --> 00:06:18.301
IN THE OCEAN OF THE BRAIN.THE BRAIN IS A MYSTERY,THE MIND IS A MYSTERY.
00:06:18.301 --> 00:06:19.602
THE BRAIN IS A MYSTERY,THE MIND IS A MYSTERY.THERE IS SO MUCH WE DO NOT
00:06:19.602 --> 00:06:21.103
THE MIND IS A MYSTERY.THERE IS SO MUCH WE DO NOTKNOW ABOUT THE HUMAN MIND.
00:06:21.103 --> 00:06:22.104
THERE IS SO MUCH WE DO NOTKNOW ABOUT THE HUMAN MIND.IT IS SO COMPLEX.
00:06:22.104 --> 00:06:23.339
KNOW ABOUT THE HUMAN MIND.IT IS SO COMPLEX.I THINK THAT'S WHAT'S
00:06:23.339 --> 00:06:24.407
IT IS SO COMPLEX.I THINK THAT'S WHAT'SSO CONFUSING ABOUT MENTAL
00:06:24.407 --> 00:06:26.075
I THINK THAT'S WHAT'SSO CONFUSING ABOUT MENTALILLNESS AND TRYING TO TREAT
00:06:26.075 --> 00:06:27.910
SO CONFUSING ABOUT MENTALILLNESS AND TRYING TO TREATAND APPROACH MENTAL ILLNESS.
00:06:27.910 --> 00:06:29.011
ILLNESS AND TRYING TO TREATAND APPROACH MENTAL ILLNESS.THERE IS SO MANY
00:06:29.011 --> 00:06:31.113
AND APPROACH MENTAL ILLNESS.THERE IS SO MANYDIFFERENT WAYS TO DO THAT.
00:06:31.113 --> 00:06:32.315
THERE IS SO MANYDIFFERENT WAYS TO DO THAT.AND SO SOMETIMES MEDICATION
00:06:32.315 --> 00:06:33.583
DIFFERENT WAYS TO DO THAT.AND SO SOMETIMES MEDICATIONWORKS AND IT IS HEALING
00:06:33.583 --> 00:06:34.784
AND SO SOMETIMES MEDICATIONWORKS AND IT IS HEALINGAND THEY'RE ABLE
00:06:34.784 --> 00:06:35.852
WORKS AND IT IS HEALINGAND THEY'RE ABLETO BE HEALED THAT WAY.
00:06:35.852 --> 00:06:36.986
AND THEY'RE ABLETO BE HEALED THAT WAY.SOMETIMES THERE IS
00:06:36.986 --> 00:06:38.020
TO BE HEALED THAT WAY.SOMETIMES THERE ISSUPERNATURAL PRAYER
00:06:38.020 --> 00:06:39.088
SOMETIMES THERE ISSUPERNATURAL PRAYERAND THAT WORKS AND
00:06:39.088 --> 00:06:40.156
SUPERNATURAL PRAYERAND THAT WORKS ANDTHEY'RE HEALED AND THEY NEVER
00:06:40.156 --> 00:06:41.290
AND THAT WORKS ANDTHEY'RE HEALED AND THEY NEVERSUFFER FROM DEPRESSION AGAIN
00:06:41.290 --> 00:06:42.525
THEY'RE HEALED AND THEY NEVERSUFFER FROM DEPRESSION AGAINOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AGAIN.
00:06:42.525 --> 00:06:43.593
SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION AGAINOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AGAIN.SOMETIMES JUST CHANGING
00:06:43.593 --> 00:06:45.061
OR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AGAIN.SOMETIMES JUST CHANGINGYOUR DIET AND EXERCISING AND
00:06:45.061 --> 00:06:47.296
SOMETIMES JUST CHANGINGYOUR DIET AND EXERCISING ANDGETTING MORE REST CAN HELP.
00:06:47.296 --> 00:06:49.031
YOUR DIET AND EXERCISING ANDGETTING MORE REST CAN HELP.THERE'S NO ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL
00:06:49.031 --> 00:06:50.099
GETTING MORE REST CAN HELP.THERE'S NO ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALLAPPROACH.
00:06:50.099 --> 00:06:51.234
THERE'S NO ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALLAPPROACH.I THINK THAT'S BEEN
00:06:51.234 --> 00:06:52.301
APPROACH.I THINK THAT'S BEENTHE BIGGEST TAKEAWAY FOR ME
00:06:52.301 --> 00:06:53.336
I THINK THAT'S BEENTHE BIGGEST TAKEAWAY FOR MEAND MAYBE A MISCONCEPTION
00:06:53.336 --> 00:06:54.403
THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAY FOR MEAND MAYBE A MISCONCEPTIONTHAT I HELD BEFORE IS THAT
00:06:54.403 --> 00:06:55.738
AND MAYBE A MISCONCEPTIONTHAT I HELD BEFORE IS THATTHERE IS NO ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL
00:06:55.738 --> 00:06:56.772
THAT I HELD BEFORE IS THATTHERE IS NO ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALLAPPROACH WHEN IT COMES
00:06:56.772 --> 00:06:58.241
THERE IS NO ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALLAPPROACH WHEN IT COMESTO MENTAL ILLNESS.
00:06:58.241 --> 00:06:59.575
APPROACH WHEN IT COMESTO MENTAL ILLNESS.YOU'RE RIGHT, IT IS ALL OF IT.
00:06:59.575 --> 00:07:01.811
TO MENTAL ILLNESS.YOU'RE RIGHT, IT IS ALL OF IT.FOR US IT WAS SPIRITUAL,
00:07:01.811 --> 00:07:03.212
YOU'RE RIGHT, IT IS ALL OF IT.FOR US IT WAS SPIRITUAL,IT WAS PHYSICAL,
00:07:03.212 --> 00:07:05.147
FOR US IT WAS SPIRITUAL,IT WAS PHYSICAL,IT WAS BURNOUT.
00:07:05.147 --> 00:07:06.516
IT WAS PHYSICAL,IT WAS BURNOUT.HE HAD BEEN RUNNING SO HARD
00:07:06.516 --> 00:07:07.884
IT WAS BURNOUT.HE HAD BEEN RUNNING SO HARDAND SO FAST IN MINISTRY
00:07:07.884 --> 00:07:09.619
HE HAD BEEN RUNNING SO HARDAND SO FAST IN MINISTRYFOR SO LONG.
00:07:09.619 --> 00:07:10.820
AND SO FAST IN MINISTRYFOR SO LONG.HE WAS 23 YEARS OLD
00:07:10.820 --> 00:07:12.054
FOR SO LONG.HE WAS 23 YEARS OLDWHEN HIS DAD WAS DIAGNOSED
00:07:12.054 --> 00:07:13.322
HE WAS 23 YEARS OLDWHEN HIS DAD WAS DIAGNOSEDWITH LEUKEMIA AND HE REALLY
00:07:13.322 --> 00:07:14.490
WHEN HIS DAD WAS DIAGNOSEDWITH LEUKEMIA AND HE REALLYSTEPPED UP TO THE PLATE
00:07:14.490 --> 00:07:16.125
WITH LEUKEMIA AND HE REALLYSTEPPED UP TO THE PLATEAND HELPED LEAD THE CHURCH
00:07:16.125 --> 00:07:17.360
STEPPED UP TO THE PLATEAND HELPED LEAD THE CHURCHTHROUGH THAT SEASON.
00:07:17.360 --> 00:07:18.427
AND HELPED LEAD THE CHURCHTHROUGH THAT SEASON.AND THEN HE TOOK OVER THE
00:07:18.427 --> 00:07:19.795
THROUGH THAT SEASON.AND THEN HE TOOK OVER THECHURCH AND HE NEVER STOPPED,
00:07:19.795 --> 00:07:21.230
AND THEN HE TOOK OVER THECHURCH AND HE NEVER STOPPED,HE JUST KEPT GOING.
00:07:21.230 --> 00:07:23.466
CHURCH AND HE NEVER STOPPED,HE JUST KEPT GOING.PHYSICALLY, HE WAS EXHAUSTED,
00:07:23.466 --> 00:07:24.834
HE JUST KEPT GOING.PHYSICALLY, HE WAS EXHAUSTED,MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY
00:07:24.834 --> 00:07:26.002
PHYSICALLY, HE WAS EXHAUSTED,MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLYHE WAS EXHAUSTED.
00:07:26.002 --> 00:07:27.069
MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLYHE WAS EXHAUSTED.HE NEVER TOOK TIME OFF
00:07:27.069 --> 00:07:28.104
HE WAS EXHAUSTED.HE NEVER TOOK TIME OFFTO GRIEVE THE LOSS
00:07:28.104 --> 00:07:29.372
HE NEVER TOOK TIME OFFTO GRIEVE THE LOSSOF HIS FATHER.
00:07:29.372 --> 00:07:30.473
TO GRIEVE THE LOSSOF HIS FATHER.AND HE WAS UNDER SPIRITUAL
00:07:30.473 --> 00:07:31.641
OF HIS FATHER.AND HE WAS UNDER SPIRITUALATTACK.
00:07:31.641 --> 00:07:32.642
AND HE WAS UNDER SPIRITUALATTACK.LIKE THAT WAS A PART OF
00:07:32.642 --> 00:07:33.743
ATTACK.LIKE THAT WAS A PART OFOUR JOURNEY, WHICH I KNOW
00:07:33.743 --> 00:07:34.777
LIKE THAT WAS A PART OFOUR JOURNEY, WHICH I KNOWIS PROBABLY NOT A PART
00:07:34.777 --> 00:07:35.811
OUR JOURNEY, WHICH I KNOWIS PROBABLY NOT A PARTOF EVERYBODY'S JOURNEY
00:07:35.811 --> 00:07:36.879
IS PROBABLY NOT A PARTOF EVERYBODY'S JOURNEYAND EVERYBODY HAS THEIR
00:07:36.879 --> 00:07:37.947
OF EVERYBODY'S JOURNEYAND EVERYBODY HAS THEIROWN UNIQUE JOURNEY
00:07:37.947 --> 00:07:39.015
AND EVERYBODY HAS THEIROWN UNIQUE JOURNEYWITH MENTAL ILLNESS.
00:07:39.015 --> 00:07:40.049
OWN UNIQUE JOURNEYWITH MENTAL ILLNESS.BUT THERE IS A WHOLE CHAPTER
00:07:40.049 --> 00:07:41.083
WITH MENTAL ILLNESS.BUT THERE IS A WHOLE CHAPTERIN THE BOOK THAT I WROTE
00:07:41.083 --> 00:07:42.151
BUT THERE IS A WHOLE CHAPTERIN THE BOOK THAT I WROTECALLED "STRANGER THINGS"
00:07:42.151 --> 00:07:43.152
IN THE BOOK THAT I WROTECALLED "STRANGER THINGS"WHERE I TALK ABOUT
00:07:43.152 --> 00:07:44.153
CALLED "STRANGER THINGS"WHERE I TALK ABOUTTHESE ENCOUNTERS THAT
00:07:44.153 --> 00:07:45.388
WHERE I TALK ABOUTTHESE ENCOUNTERS THATHE HAD WITH WHAT
00:07:45.388 --> 00:07:46.722
THESE ENCOUNTERS THATHE HAD WITH WHATHE DESCRIBED AS CREATURES.
00:07:46.722 --> 00:07:47.857
HE HAD WITH WHATHE DESCRIBED AS CREATURES.LIKE HE REALLY FELT LIKE
00:07:47.857 --> 00:07:49.458
HE DESCRIBED AS CREATURES.LIKE HE REALLY FELT LIKEHE WAS BEING OPPRESSED BY
00:07:49.458 --> 00:07:51.027
LIKE HE REALLY FELT LIKEHE WAS BEING OPPRESSED BYTHE ENEMY AND THAT WAS
00:07:51.027 --> 00:07:54.030
HE WAS BEING OPPRESSED BYTHE ENEMY AND THAT WASA MAJOR PART OF THE CONFUSION.
00:07:54.030 --> 00:07:55.665
THE ENEMY AND THAT WASA MAJOR PART OF THE CONFUSION.AND JUST THE DARKNESS.
00:07:55.665 --> 00:07:57.166
A MAJOR PART OF THE CONFUSION.AND JUST THE DARKNESS.I KNOW THAT CAN BE
00:07:57.166 --> 00:07:58.367
AND JUST THE DARKNESS.I KNOW THAT CAN BEA STIGMATIZING WORD
00:07:58.367 --> 00:07:59.769
I KNOW THAT CAN BEA STIGMATIZING WORDFOR MENTAL ILLNESS BUT
00:07:59.769 --> 00:08:00.903
A STIGMATIZING WORDFOR MENTAL ILLNESS BUTIN MY EXPERIENCE IT REALLY
00:08:00.903 --> 00:08:02.605
FOR MENTAL ILLNESS BUTIN MY EXPERIENCE IT REALLYDID FEEL LIKE THERE WAS JUST
00:08:02.605 --> 00:08:04.140
IN MY EXPERIENCE IT REALLYDID FEEL LIKE THERE WAS JUSTTHIS DARK CLOUD THAT WAS
00:08:04.140 --> 00:08:05.741
DID FEEL LIKE THERE WAS JUSTTHIS DARK CLOUD THAT WASCOVERING MY HUSBAND,
00:08:05.741 --> 00:08:07.343
AND WE COULDN'T GET OUT OF IT.
00:08:09.545 --> 00:08:11.013
AND WE COULDN'T GET OUT OF IT.WE WERE REALLY JUST CONSUMED
00:08:11.013 --> 00:08:13.282
WE WERE REALLY JUST CONSUMEDBY THIS DARK CLOUD OF FEAR,
00:08:13.282 --> 00:08:15.084
OF ANXIETY
00:08:16.152 --> 00:08:18.154
OF ANXIETYAND OF SPIRITUAL WARFARE.
00:08:18.154 --> 00:08:19.221
WHEN I WAS READING YOUR BOOK,
00:08:20.289 --> 00:08:21.357
WHEN I WAS READING YOUR BOOK,WONDERING WHAT WAS HAPPENING
00:08:21.357 --> 00:08:22.558
WONDERING WHAT WAS HAPPENINGWITH YOU DURING THAT TIME.
00:08:22.558 --> 00:08:23.626
WITH YOU DURING THAT TIME.BECAUSE YOU'RE A MOM,
00:08:23.626 --> 00:08:24.994
YOU'VE GOT A HUSBAND WHO NOW
00:08:26.329 --> 00:08:28.030
YOU'VE GOT A HUSBAND WHO NOWHAS A DIAGNOSIS OF DEPRESSION
00:08:28.030 --> 00:08:29.432
YOU'VE GOT A HUSBAND WHO NOWHAS A DIAGNOSIS OF DEPRESSIONWHO IS ON MEDICATION
00:08:29.432 --> 00:08:30.666
HAS A DIAGNOSIS OF DEPRESSIONWHO IS ON MEDICATIONAND IS KIND OF RETREATING
00:08:30.666 --> 00:08:32.735
WHO IS ON MEDICATIONAND IS KIND OF RETREATINGINTO HIS OWN WORLD.
00:08:32.735 --> 00:08:33.803
AND IS KIND OF RETREATINGINTO HIS OWN WORLD.WHAT WAS GOING ON
00:08:33.803 --> 00:08:35.071
INTO HIS OWN WORLD.WHAT WAS GOING ONIN YOUR LIFE, KAYLA?
00:08:35.071 --> 00:08:36.138
WHAT WAS GOING ONIN YOUR LIFE, KAYLA?WERE THERE TIMES WHERE
00:08:36.138 --> 00:08:37.306
IN YOUR LIFE, KAYLA?WERE THERE TIMES WHEREYOU WERE ANGRY, WERE YOU
00:08:37.306 --> 00:08:40.276
WERE THERE TIMES WHEREYOU WERE ANGRY, WERE YOUCONFUSED, WERE YOU AFRAID?
00:08:40.276 --> 00:08:41.744
YOU WERE ANGRY, WERE YOUCONFUSED, WERE YOU AFRAID?Kayla: IT WAS SO HARD.
00:08:41.744 --> 00:08:42.812
CONFUSED, WERE YOU AFRAID?Kayla: IT WAS SO HARD.I WOULD WALK AROUND
00:08:42.812 --> 00:08:44.747
Kayla: IT WAS SO HARD.I WOULD WALK AROUNDMY HOUSE AND I WOULD SAY,
00:08:44.747 --> 00:08:45.848
I WOULD WALK AROUNDMY HOUSE AND I WOULD SAY,"THIS IS THE SUMMER
00:08:45.848 --> 00:08:47.016
MY HOUSE AND I WOULD SAY,"THIS IS THE SUMMERFROM HELL."
00:08:47.016 --> 00:08:48.351
"THIS IS THE SUMMERFROM HELL."I WOULD SAY THAT OUT LOUD.
00:08:48.351 --> 00:08:49.752
FROM HELL."I WOULD SAY THAT OUT LOUD.IT REALLY WAS.
00:08:49.752 --> 00:08:51.087
I WOULD SAY THAT OUT LOUD.IT REALLY WAS.IT WAS SO HARD.
00:08:51.087 --> 00:08:52.221
IT REALLY WAS.IT WAS SO HARD.LIKE I SAID EARLIER
00:08:52.221 --> 00:08:53.289
IT WAS SO HARD.LIKE I SAID EARLIERTHERE WAS NOTHING
00:08:53.289 --> 00:08:54.457
LIKE I SAID EARLIERTHERE WAS NOTHINGI COULD DO TO HELP.
00:08:54.457 --> 00:08:55.491
THERE WAS NOTHINGI COULD DO TO HELP.I WOULD KEEP TRYING AND
00:08:55.491 --> 00:08:56.592
I COULD DO TO HELP.I WOULD KEEP TRYING ANDI WOULD KEEP TRYING AND
00:08:56.592 --> 00:08:57.593
I WOULD KEEP TRYING ANDI WOULD KEEP TRYING ANDI WOULD KEEP TRYING AND
00:08:57.593 --> 00:08:58.661
I WOULD KEEP TRYING ANDI WOULD KEEP TRYING ANDIT REALLY FELT LIKE THERE WAS
00:08:58.661 --> 00:08:59.762
I WOULD KEEP TRYING ANDIT REALLY FELT LIKE THERE WASNOTHING THAT I COULD DO
00:08:59.762 --> 00:09:00.796
IT REALLY FELT LIKE THERE WASNOTHING THAT I COULD DOTO HELP EXCEPT FOR TAKE CARE
00:09:00.796 --> 00:09:01.864
NOTHING THAT I COULD DOTO HELP EXCEPT FOR TAKE CAREOF THE KIDS AND KIND OF
00:09:01.864 --> 00:09:03.099
TO HELP EXCEPT FOR TAKE CAREOF THE KIDS AND KIND OFKEEP THEM AWAY FROM THEIR
00:09:03.099 --> 00:09:04.367
OF THE KIDS AND KIND OFKEEP THEM AWAY FROM THEIRDAD SO THAT HE COULD REST,
00:09:04.367 --> 00:09:05.635
KEEP THEM AWAY FROM THEIRDAD SO THAT HE COULD REST,AND CREATE AS MUCH SPACE
00:09:05.635 --> 00:09:07.837
DAD SO THAT HE COULD REST,AND CREATE AS MUCH SPACEAS I COULD FOR HIM TO REST.
00:09:07.837 --> 00:09:09.205
AND CREATE AS MUCH SPACEAS I COULD FOR HIM TO REST.I EVEN GOT INVOLVED WITH
00:09:09.205 --> 00:09:10.373
AS I COULD FOR HIM TO REST.I EVEN GOT INVOLVED WITHTHE CHURCH STUFF AND WAS LIKE,
00:09:10.373 --> 00:09:11.674
I EVEN GOT INVOLVED WITHTHE CHURCH STUFF AND WAS LIKE,"IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM,
00:09:11.674 --> 00:09:12.775
THE CHURCH STUFF AND WAS LIKE,"IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM,BECAUSE HE IS ON A SABBATICAL,
00:09:12.775 --> 00:09:13.843
"IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM,BECAUSE HE IS ON A SABBATICAL,DON'T TALK TO HIM.
00:09:13.843 --> 00:09:15.011
BECAUSE HE IS ON A SABBATICAL,DON'T TALK TO HIM.IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM,
00:09:15.011 --> 00:09:16.045
DON'T TALK TO HIM.IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM,COME TO ME.
00:09:16.045 --> 00:09:17.113
IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM,COME TO ME.I'LL DEAL WITH IT.
00:09:17.113 --> 00:09:18.214
COME TO ME.I'LL DEAL WITH IT.I'LL ANSWER THE PHONE CALL.
00:09:18.214 --> 00:09:19.315
I'LL DEAL WITH IT.I'LL ANSWER THE PHONE CALL.I'LL HELP YOU NAVIGATE
00:09:19.315 --> 00:09:20.583
I'LL ANSWER THE PHONE CALL.I'LL HELP YOU NAVIGATEA SOLUTION."
00:09:20.583 --> 00:09:21.717
I'LL HELP YOU NAVIGATEA SOLUTION."SO I REALLY WAS TAKING ON
00:09:21.717 --> 00:09:23.285
A SOLUTION."SO I REALLY WAS TAKING ONA LOT.
00:09:23.285 --> 00:09:24.520
SO I REALLY WAS TAKING ONA LOT.I WAS "CO-BURDENING
00:09:24.520 --> 00:09:25.788
A LOT.I WAS "CO-BURDENINGHIS DEPRESSION" IS WHAT
00:09:25.788 --> 00:09:26.856
I WAS "CO-BURDENINGHIS DEPRESSION" IS WHATOUR THERAPIST EXPLAINED
00:09:26.856 --> 00:09:28.024
HIS DEPRESSION" IS WHATOUR THERAPIST EXPLAINEDTO US.
00:09:28.024 --> 00:09:29.091
OUR THERAPIST EXPLAINEDTO US.LIKE I WAS JUST GETTING
00:09:29.091 --> 00:09:30.359
TO US.LIKE I WAS JUST GETTINGA SMALL TASTE OF
00:09:30.359 --> 00:09:31.761
LIKE I WAS JUST GETTINGA SMALL TASTE OFHIS DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY
00:09:31.761 --> 00:09:32.795
A SMALL TASTE OFHIS DEPRESSION AND ANXIETYAND THAT DARK CLOUD THAT WAS
00:09:32.795 --> 00:09:35.297
HIS DEPRESSION AND ANXIETYAND THAT DARK CLOUD THAT WASIN OUR HOME THAT SUMMER.
00:09:35.297 --> 00:09:36.899
AND THAT DARK CLOUD THAT WASIN OUR HOME THAT SUMMER.I REALLY FELT THAT AS WELL.
00:09:36.899 --> 00:09:38.734
IN OUR HOME THAT SUMMER.I REALLY FELT THAT AS WELL.I FELT FRUSTRATED WITH GOD.
00:09:38.734 --> 00:09:41.070
I REALLY FELT THAT AS WELL.I FELT FRUSTRATED WITH GOD.IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT FOR
00:09:41.070 --> 00:09:42.571
I FELT FRUSTRATED WITH GOD.IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT FORMY FAITH BECAUSE HERE
00:09:42.571 --> 00:09:44.273
IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT FORMY FAITH BECAUSE HEREWE ARE SERVING GOD WITH
00:09:44.273 --> 00:09:46.075
MY FAITH BECAUSE HEREWE ARE SERVING GOD WITHOUR LIFE AND DOING MINISTRY
00:09:46.075 --> 00:09:47.476
WE ARE SERVING GOD WITHOUR LIFE AND DOING MINISTRYAND WE JUST LOST HIS DAD.
00:09:47.476 --> 00:09:48.778
OUR LIFE AND DOING MINISTRYAND WE JUST LOST HIS DAD.AND NOW GOD'S ALLOWING
00:09:48.778 --> 00:09:50.813
AND WE JUST LOST HIS DAD.AND NOW GOD'S ALLOWINGTHIS BIG SEASON OF DEPRESSION
00:09:50.813 --> 00:09:52.014
AND NOW GOD'S ALLOWINGTHIS BIG SEASON OF DEPRESSIONTO HAPPEN.
00:09:52.014 --> 00:09:53.149
THIS BIG SEASON OF DEPRESSIONTO HAPPEN.LIKE GOD, WHY ARE YOU
00:09:53.149 --> 00:09:54.784
TO HAPPEN.LIKE GOD, WHY ARE YOUALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN?
00:09:54.784 --> 00:09:55.918
LIKE GOD, WHY ARE YOUALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN?WHY AREN'T YOU INTERVENING?
00:09:55.918 --> 00:09:57.920
ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN?WHY AREN'T YOU INTERVENING?WHY AREN'T YOU HEALING HIM?
00:09:57.920 --> 00:09:58.954
WHY AREN'T YOU INTERVENING?WHY AREN'T YOU HEALING HIM?WE'RE PRAYING AND WE HAVE
00:09:58.954 --> 00:10:00.423
WHY AREN'T YOU HEALING HIM?WE'RE PRAYING AND WE HAVEPEOPLE OVER TO OUR HOUSE
00:10:00.423 --> 00:10:01.724
WE'RE PRAYING AND WE HAVEPEOPLE OVER TO OUR HOUSETO PRAY AND ANOINT HIM
00:10:01.724 --> 00:10:03.092
PEOPLE OVER TO OUR HOUSETO PRAY AND ANOINT HIMWITH OIL AND IT JUST FELT
00:10:03.092 --> 00:10:04.760
TO PRAY AND ANOINT HIMWITH OIL AND IT JUST FELTLIKE NOTHING WAS WORKING.
00:10:04.760 --> 00:10:06.929
WITH OIL AND IT JUST FELTLIKE NOTHING WAS WORKING.I WAS LEFT JUST ASKING,
00:10:06.929 --> 00:10:08.464
LIKE NOTHING WAS WORKING.I WAS LEFT JUST ASKING,WHERE ARE YOU GOD?
00:10:08.464 --> 00:10:09.865
I WAS LEFT JUST ASKING,WHERE ARE YOU GOD?WHY AREN'T YOU FIXING THIS?
00:10:09.865 --> 00:10:11.467
Randy: I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK
00:10:13.035 --> 00:10:15.805
Randy: I CAN'T HELP BUT THINKGOD REALLY HAS WALKED YOU
00:10:15.805 --> 00:10:17.506
AM I RIGHT?
00:10:19.442 --> 00:10:20.810
AM I RIGHT?Kayla: YOU'RE RIGHT.
00:10:20.810 --> 00:10:22.745
AM I RIGHT?Kayla: YOU'RE RIGHT.THAT WAS A FRUSTRATING PART
00:10:22.745 --> 00:10:25.081
Kayla: YOU'RE RIGHT.THAT WAS A FRUSTRATING PARTOF IT BECAUSE ANDREW DIED
00:10:25.081 --> 00:10:26.082
THAT WAS A FRUSTRATING PARTOF IT BECAUSE ANDREW DIEDAND THEN IT FELT LIKE
00:10:26.082 --> 00:10:27.616
OF IT BECAUSE ANDREW DIEDAND THEN IT FELT LIKEGOD WAS EVERYWHERE,
00:10:27.616 --> 00:10:28.951
AND THEN IT FELT LIKEGOD WAS EVERYWHERE,IN EVERYTHING,
00:10:28.951 --> 00:10:30.019
GOD WAS EVERYWHERE,IN EVERYTHING,ALL OF THE TIME.
00:10:30.019 --> 00:10:31.053
IN EVERYTHING,ALL OF THE TIME.IT WENT FROM THIS
00:10:31.053 --> 00:10:32.054
ALL OF THE TIME.IT WENT FROM THISWILDERNESS SEASON WITH
00:10:32.054 --> 00:10:33.122
IT WENT FROM THISWILDERNESS SEASON WITHTHE MENTAL ILLNESS WHERE
00:10:33.122 --> 00:10:34.890
WILDERNESS SEASON WITHTHE MENTAL ILLNESS WHEREI'M LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU GOD?
00:10:34.890 --> 00:10:36.459
THE MENTAL ILLNESS WHEREI'M LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU GOD?WHY AREN'T YOU FIXING THIS?
00:10:36.459 --> 00:10:37.593
I'M LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU GOD?WHY AREN'T YOU FIXING THIS?AND THEN ANDREW DIES
00:10:37.593 --> 00:10:38.928
WHY AREN'T YOU FIXING THIS?AND THEN ANDREW DIESAND GOD IS EVERYWHERE.
00:10:38.928 --> 00:10:40.096
AND THEN ANDREW DIESAND GOD IS EVERYWHERE.AND THAT'S HOW IT'S BEEN.
00:10:40.096 --> 00:10:41.597
AND GOD IS EVERYWHERE.AND THAT'S HOW IT'S BEEN.WE HAVE THIS MANTRA THAT
00:10:41.597 --> 00:10:42.865
AND THAT'S HOW IT'S BEEN.WE HAVE THIS MANTRA THATWE HAVE AS A FAMILY CALLED,
00:10:42.865 --> 00:10:44.333
WE HAVE THIS MANTRA THATWE HAVE AS A FAMILY CALLED,"GOD'S GOT THIS."
00:10:44.333 --> 00:10:46.001
WE HAVE AS A FAMILY CALLED,"GOD'S GOT THIS."AND IT WAS THIS PHRASE
00:10:46.001 --> 00:10:47.570
"GOD'S GOT THIS."AND IT WAS THIS PHRASETHAT MEANT SO MUCH TO US
00:10:47.570 --> 00:10:48.604
AND IT WAS THIS PHRASETHAT MEANT SO MUCH TO USWHEN MY FATHER-IN-LAW WAS
00:10:48.604 --> 00:10:50.139
THAT MEANT SO MUCH TO USWHEN MY FATHER-IN-LAW WASWALKING THROUGH LEUKEMIA.
00:10:50.139 --> 00:10:51.307
WHEN MY FATHER-IN-LAW WASWALKING THROUGH LEUKEMIA.AND OUR CHURCH MADE
00:10:51.307 --> 00:10:53.109
WALKING THROUGH LEUKEMIA.AND OUR CHURCH MADEWRISTBANDS, WE HAD A WEBSITE,
00:10:53.109 --> 00:10:54.410
AND OUR CHURCH MADEWRISTBANDS, WE HAD A WEBSITE,WE REALLY CLUNG TO THOSE
00:10:54.410 --> 00:10:55.911
WRISTBANDS, WE HAD A WEBSITE,WE REALLY CLUNG TO THOSEWORDS, "GOD'S GOT THIS."
00:10:55.911 --> 00:10:57.313
WE REALLY CLUNG TO THOSEWORDS, "GOD'S GOT THIS."AND THROUGH ANDREW'S
00:10:57.313 --> 00:10:58.447
WORDS, "GOD'S GOT THIS."AND THROUGH ANDREW'SMENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY
00:10:58.447 --> 00:11:00.049
AND THROUGH ANDREW'SMENTAL HEALTH JOURNEYAND THROUGH THE SUICIDE
00:11:00.049 --> 00:11:01.217
MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEYAND THROUGH THE SUICIDEAND THROUGH OUR GRIEF JOURNEY
00:11:01.217 --> 00:11:02.918
AND THROUGH THE SUICIDEAND THROUGH OUR GRIEF JOURNEYIT'S JUST BEEN THIS PHRASE
00:11:02.918 --> 00:11:04.286
AND THROUGH OUR GRIEF JOURNEYIT'S JUST BEEN THIS PHRASETHAT'S MEANT SO MUCH TO US.
00:11:04.286 --> 00:11:05.554
IT'S JUST BEEN THIS PHRASETHAT'S MEANT SO MUCH TO US.AND TO ME, IT MEANS THAT
00:11:05.554 --> 00:11:07.156
THAT'S MEANT SO MUCH TO US.AND TO ME, IT MEANS THATGOD IS SOVEREIGN
00:11:07.156 --> 00:11:08.624
AND TO ME, IT MEANS THATGOD IS SOVEREIGNOVER ALL OF IT.
00:11:08.624 --> 00:11:10.092
WHY GOD ALLOWED THIS TO BE
00:11:11.727 --> 00:11:13.496
WHY GOD ALLOWED THIS TO BEFILTERED THROUGH HIS HANDS
00:11:13.496 --> 00:11:15.131
FILTERED THROUGH HIS HANDSBUT I REALLY DEEPLY BELIEVE
00:11:15.131 --> 00:11:16.766
BUT I REALLY DEEPLY BELIEVETHAT HE IS STILL GOOD,
00:11:16.766 --> 00:11:18.400
FOR MY LIFE AND FOR
00:11:19.702 --> 00:11:21.604
FOR MY LIFE AND FORMY BOYS' LIFE, AND HE CAN
00:11:21.604 --> 00:11:23.172
FOR MY LIFE AND FORMY BOYS' LIFE, AND HE CANSQUEEZE AS MUCH GOOD
00:11:23.172 --> 00:11:24.707
MY BOYS' LIFE, AND HE CANSQUEEZE AS MUCH GOODAS POSSIBLE OUT OF THIS
00:11:24.707 --> 00:11:26.575
SQUEEZE AS MUCH GOODAS POSSIBLE OUT OF THISABSOLUTE HORRIFIC TRAGEDY
00:11:26.575 --> 00:11:28.644
AS POSSIBLE OUT OF THISABSOLUTE HORRIFIC TRAGEDYAS HE CAN AND HE HAS.
00:11:28.644 --> 00:11:29.745
ABSOLUTE HORRIFIC TRAGEDYAS HE CAN AND HE HAS.FROM THE VERY BEGINNING,
00:11:29.745 --> 00:11:31.013
AS HE CAN AND HE HAS.FROM THE VERY BEGINNING,THAT VERY FIRST WEEK
00:11:31.013 --> 00:11:32.915
FROM THE VERY BEGINNING,THAT VERY FIRST WEEKI WROTE ANDREW A LETTER
00:11:32.915 --> 00:11:34.016
THAT VERY FIRST WEEKI WROTE ANDREW A LETTERAND THAT LETTER REALLY WENT
00:11:34.016 --> 00:11:35.151
I WROTE ANDREW A LETTERAND THAT LETTER REALLY WENTVIRAL, OUR STORY REALLY
00:11:35.151 --> 00:11:36.819
AND THAT LETTER REALLY WENTVIRAL, OUR STORY REALLYWENT VIRAL BECAUSE HERE
00:11:36.819 --> 00:11:38.220
VIRAL, OUR STORY REALLYWENT VIRAL BECAUSE HEREIS THIS YOUNG GUY WHO
00:11:38.220 --> 00:11:39.421
WENT VIRAL BECAUSE HEREIS THIS YOUNG GUY WHOHAD IT ALL AND WHY DID
00:11:39.421 --> 00:11:40.623
IS THIS YOUNG GUY WHOHAD IT ALL AND WHY DIDTHIS HAPPEN TO HIM?
00:11:40.623 --> 00:11:41.791
HAD IT ALL AND WHY DIDTHIS HAPPEN TO HIM?I THINK IT REALLY SHOCKED
00:11:41.791 --> 00:11:42.958
THIS HAPPEN TO HIM?I THINK IT REALLY SHOCKEDA LOT OF PEOPLE.
00:11:42.958 --> 00:11:45.594
I THINK IT REALLY SHOCKEDA LOT OF PEOPLE.SO I WROTE HIM THIS LETTER.
00:11:45.594 --> 00:11:46.829
A LOT OF PEOPLE.SO I WROTE HIM THIS LETTER.IT WAS THROUGH THAT LETTER
00:11:46.829 --> 00:11:48.164
SO I WROTE HIM THIS LETTER.IT WAS THROUGH THAT LETTERTHAT I FIRST BEGAN TO SEE
00:11:48.164 --> 00:11:49.765
IT WAS THROUGH THAT LETTERTHAT I FIRST BEGAN TO SEETHAT GOD WAS UP TO SOMETHING
00:11:49.765 --> 00:11:51.066
THAT I FIRST BEGAN TO SEETHAT GOD WAS UP TO SOMETHINGSO MUCH BIGGER THAN I COULD
00:11:51.066 --> 00:11:53.335
THAT GOD WAS UP TO SOMETHINGSO MUCH BIGGER THAN I COULDHAVE EVER IMAGINED THAT
00:11:53.335 --> 00:11:54.603
SO MUCH BIGGER THAN I COULDHAVE EVER IMAGINED THATHE WOULD DO THROUGH THIS
00:11:54.603 --> 00:11:57.406
HAVE EVER IMAGINED THATHE WOULD DO THROUGH THISIN REDEEMING THIS STORY.
00:11:57.406 --> 00:11:59.175
HE WOULD DO THROUGH THISIN REDEEMING THIS STORY.I WAS RECEIVING EMAILS AND
00:11:59.175 --> 00:12:01.110
IN REDEEMING THIS STORY.I WAS RECEIVING EMAILS ANDLETTERS AND DIRECT MESSAGES
00:12:01.110 --> 00:12:02.378
I WAS RECEIVING EMAILS ANDLETTERS AND DIRECT MESSAGESON INSTAGRAM FROM PEOPLE
00:12:02.378 --> 00:12:03.412
LETTERS AND DIRECT MESSAGESON INSTAGRAM FROM PEOPLEWHO WERE SAYING, "I WAS
00:12:03.412 --> 00:12:05.080
ON INSTAGRAM FROM PEOPLEWHO WERE SAYING, "I WASTHINKING ABOUT SUICIDE
00:12:05.080 --> 00:12:06.382
WHO WERE SAYING, "I WASTHINKING ABOUT SUICIDEAND THEN I READ YOUR LETTER
00:12:06.382 --> 00:12:07.449
THINKING ABOUT SUICIDEAND THEN I READ YOUR LETTERAND THEN I DECIDED TO STAY."
00:12:07.449 --> 00:12:08.517
AND THEN I READ YOUR LETTERAND THEN I DECIDED TO STAY."OR "I'VE BEEN STRUGGLING
00:12:08.517 --> 00:12:09.585
AND THEN I DECIDED TO STAY."OR "I'VE BEEN STRUGGLINGWITH DEPRESSION
00:12:09.585 --> 00:12:10.686
OR "I'VE BEEN STRUGGLINGWITH DEPRESSIONAND I CHECKED MYSELF
00:12:10.686 --> 00:12:12.621
WITH DEPRESSIONAND I CHECKED MYSELFINTO REHAB THIS MORNING."
00:12:12.621 --> 00:12:13.923
AND I CHECKED MYSELFINTO REHAB THIS MORNING."OR "YOU FINALLY HELPED ME
00:12:13.923 --> 00:12:15.157
INTO REHAB THIS MORNING."OR "YOU FINALLY HELPED MECALL THE THERAPIST
00:12:15.157 --> 00:12:16.325
OR "YOU FINALLY HELPED MECALL THE THERAPISTAND TELL THEM HOW BAD
00:12:16.325 --> 00:12:17.426
CALL THE THERAPISTAND TELL THEM HOW BADIT REALLY IS."
00:12:17.426 --> 00:12:18.727
AND TELL THEM HOW BADIT REALLY IS.""YOU HELPED ME HELP MY SON
00:12:18.727 --> 00:12:19.829
IT REALLY IS.""YOU HELPED ME HELP MY SONWHO IS STRUGGLING
00:12:19.829 --> 00:12:20.930
"YOU HELPED ME HELP MY SONWHO IS STRUGGLINGWITH DEPRESSION."
00:12:20.930 --> 00:12:22.064
WHO IS STRUGGLINGWITH DEPRESSION."LIKE THERE WERE SO MANY
00:12:22.064 --> 00:12:23.499
WITH DEPRESSION."LIKE THERE WERE SO MANYMESSAGES COMING IN
00:12:23.499 --> 00:12:24.867
LIKE THERE WERE SO MANYMESSAGES COMING INAND I COULDN'T LOOK AWAY.
00:12:24.867 --> 00:12:26.001
MESSAGES COMING INAND I COULDN'T LOOK AWAY.GOD KIND OF HANDED ME
00:12:26.001 --> 00:12:27.970
AND I COULDN'T LOOK AWAY.GOD KIND OF HANDED METHIS MICROPHONE AND I BECAME
00:12:27.970 --> 00:12:29.305
GOD KIND OF HANDED METHIS MICROPHONE AND I BECAMETHIS MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE
00:12:29.305 --> 00:12:30.606
THIS MICROPHONE AND I BECAMETHIS MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATEOVERNIGHT.
00:12:30.606 --> 00:12:31.774
THIS MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATEOVERNIGHT.AND GOD REALLY CARRIED ME
00:12:31.774 --> 00:12:32.842
OVERNIGHT.AND GOD REALLY CARRIED METHROUGH THAT.
00:12:32.842 --> 00:12:34.343
AND GOD REALLY CARRIED METHROUGH THAT.LIKE HE GAVE ME THE WORDS,
00:12:34.343 --> 00:12:35.578
THROUGH THAT.LIKE HE GAVE ME THE WORDS,HE GAVE ME THE STRENGTH,
00:12:35.578 --> 00:12:36.946
LIKE HE GAVE ME THE WORDS,HE GAVE ME THE STRENGTH,HE GAVE ME THE COMFORT.
00:12:36.946 --> 00:12:38.347
HE GAVE ME THE STRENGTH,HE GAVE ME THE COMFORT.LIKE I REALLY FELT GOD
00:12:38.347 --> 00:12:41.116
HE GAVE ME THE COMFORT.LIKE I REALLY FELT GODAS THE COMFORTER SO DEEPLY
00:12:41.116 --> 00:12:42.384
LIKE I REALLY FELT GODAS THE COMFORTER SO DEEPLYIN THAT SEASON,
00:12:42.384 --> 00:12:43.953
AS THE COMFORTER SO DEEPLYIN THAT SEASON,AND STILL DO TODAY.
00:12:43.953 --> 00:12:45.654
IN THAT SEASON,AND STILL DO TODAY.BUT IT WAS SO TANGIBLE,
00:12:45.654 --> 00:12:47.256
AND STILL DO TODAY.BUT IT WAS SO TANGIBLE,EVEN MY CLOSEST FRIENDS,
00:12:47.256 --> 00:12:49.158
BUT IT WAS SO TANGIBLE,EVEN MY CLOSEST FRIENDS,THEY WITNESSED GOD'S HAND
00:12:49.158 --> 00:12:50.326
EVEN MY CLOSEST FRIENDS,THEY WITNESSED GOD'S HANDMORE CLEARLY THAN THEY HAD
00:12:50.326 --> 00:12:51.627
THEY WITNESSED GOD'S HANDMORE CLEARLY THAN THEY HADIN THEIR ENTIRE LIFE
00:12:51.627 --> 00:12:52.962
MORE CLEARLY THAN THEY HADIN THEIR ENTIRE LIFEJUST BY WALKING ALONGSIDE ME
00:12:52.962 --> 00:12:55.531
Sheila: THAT'S WHY I THINK
00:12:56.799 --> 00:12:58.000
Sheila: THAT'S WHY I THINKIT IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT BOOK,
00:12:58.000 --> 00:12:59.134
IT IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT BOOK,KAYLA BECAUSE MENTAL HEALTH
00:12:59.134 --> 00:13:01.103
IN OUR NATION BUT IT IS STILL
00:13:02.605 --> 00:13:03.839
IN OUR NATION BUT IT IS STILLONE THAT WE DON'T TALK
00:13:03.839 --> 00:13:05.007
IN OUR NATION BUT IT IS STILLONE THAT WE DON'T TALKA LOT ABOUT.
00:13:05.007 --> 00:13:06.075
ONE THAT WE DON'T TALKA LOT ABOUT.IN FACT, WHEN I WAS READING
00:13:06.075 --> 00:13:07.142
A LOT ABOUT.IN FACT, WHEN I WAS READINGYOUR BOOK THE PART
00:13:07.142 --> 00:13:08.210
IN FACT, WHEN I WAS READINGYOUR BOOK THE PARTI CONNECTED WITH WAS,
00:13:08.210 --> 00:13:10.346
YOUR BOOK THE PARTI CONNECTED WITH WAS,WHEN MY FATHER DIED BY SUICIDE
00:13:10.346 --> 00:13:11.847
I CONNECTED WITH WAS,WHEN MY FATHER DIED BY SUICIDEMY MOM WAS LEFT, SHE WAS
00:13:11.847 --> 00:13:13.048
WHEN MY FATHER DIED BY SUICIDEMY MOM WAS LEFT, SHE WASABOUT THE SAME AGE AS YOU,
00:13:13.048 --> 00:13:14.116
MY MOM WAS LEFT, SHE WASABOUT THE SAME AGE AS YOU,SHE WAS LEFT WITH
00:13:14.116 --> 00:13:15.117
ABOUT THE SAME AGE AS YOU,SHE WAS LEFT WITHTHREE CHILDREN,
00:13:15.117 --> 00:13:16.719
SHE WAS LEFT WITHTHREE CHILDREN,SEVEN, FIVE, AND TWO.
00:13:16.719 --> 00:13:18.187
THREE CHILDREN,SEVEN, FIVE, AND TWO.AND THE THING WAS BACK THEN,
00:13:18.187 --> 00:13:20.723
SEVEN, FIVE, AND TWO.AND THE THING WAS BACK THEN,WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT.
00:13:20.723 --> 00:13:21.724
AND THE THING WAS BACK THEN,WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT.AND CHILDREN, WHAT CHILDREN
00:13:21.724 --> 00:13:23.158
WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT.AND CHILDREN, WHAT CHILDRENIMAGINE IN THEIR MINDS
00:13:23.158 --> 00:13:24.493
AND CHILDREN, WHAT CHILDRENIMAGINE IN THEIR MINDSIS SO MUCH WORSE
00:13:24.493 --> 00:13:26.262
IMAGINE IN THEIR MINDSIS SO MUCH WORSETHAN THE TRUTH.
00:13:26.262 --> 00:13:27.396
IS SO MUCH WORSETHAN THE TRUTH.HOW ARE YOU HELPING
00:13:27.396 --> 00:13:28.931
THAN THE TRUTH.HOW ARE YOU HELPINGYOUR CHILDREN TO NAVIGATE
00:13:28.931 --> 00:13:31.934
HOW ARE YOU HELPINGYOUR CHILDREN TO NAVIGATETHIS REALITY?
00:13:31.934 --> 00:13:33.302
YOUR CHILDREN TO NAVIGATETHIS REALITY?Kayla: I'VE BEEN REALLY HONEST
00:13:33.302 --> 00:13:34.436
THIS REALITY?Kayla: I'VE BEEN REALLY HONESTWITH THEM SINCE
00:13:34.436 --> 00:13:35.571
Kayla: I'VE BEEN REALLY HONESTWITH THEM SINCETHE VERY BEGINNING.
00:13:35.571 --> 00:13:36.939
WITH THEM SINCETHE VERY BEGINNING.I WAITED A WEEK TO TELL THEM.
00:13:36.939 --> 00:13:38.207
THE VERY BEGINNING.I WAITED A WEEK TO TELL THEM.THEY STAYED WITH MY DAD
00:13:38.207 --> 00:13:39.241
I WAITED A WEEK TO TELL THEM.THEY STAYED WITH MY DADAND I WANTED TO TALK TO
00:13:39.241 --> 00:13:40.509
THEY STAYED WITH MY DADAND I WANTED TO TALK TOCHILD LIFE SPECIALISTS AND
00:13:40.509 --> 00:13:41.944
AND I WANTED TO TALK TOCHILD LIFE SPECIALISTS ANDMAKE SURE THAT I APPROACHED
00:13:41.944 --> 00:13:43.779
CHILD LIFE SPECIALISTS ANDMAKE SURE THAT I APPROACHEDTHE CONVERSATION THE RIGHT WAY
00:13:43.779 --> 00:13:45.381
MAKE SURE THAT I APPROACHEDTHE CONVERSATION THE RIGHT WAYFROM THE BEGINNING.
00:13:45.381 --> 00:13:46.448
THE CONVERSATION THE RIGHT WAYFROM THE BEGINNING.I NEVER WANT TO HIDE
00:13:46.448 --> 00:13:47.683
FROM THE BEGINNING.I NEVER WANT TO HIDEANYTHING FROM THEM.
00:13:47.683 --> 00:13:49.251
I NEVER WANT TO HIDEANYTHING FROM THEM.I NEVER WANT TO LIE TO THEM
00:13:49.251 --> 00:13:50.452
ANYTHING FROM THEM.I NEVER WANT TO LIE TO THEMSO IT WAS IMPORTANT FOR ME
00:13:50.452 --> 00:13:52.888
I NEVER WANT TO LIE TO THEMSO IT WAS IMPORTANT FOR METO START THAT CONVERSATION.
00:13:52.888 --> 00:13:54.156
SO IT WAS IMPORTANT FOR METO START THAT CONVERSATION.SO I DID.
00:13:54.156 --> 00:13:55.457
TO START THAT CONVERSATION.SO I DID.SO THAT VERY FIRST TIME
00:13:55.457 --> 00:13:56.692
SO I DID.SO THAT VERY FIRST TIMEI SAT THEM DOWN AND TOLD THEM
00:13:56.692 --> 00:13:58.627
SO THAT VERY FIRST TIMEI SAT THEM DOWN AND TOLD THEMTHAT ANDREW HAD DIED.
00:13:58.627 --> 00:13:59.795
I SAT THEM DOWN AND TOLD THEMTHAT ANDREW HAD DIED.I TOLD THEM THAT DADDY
00:13:59.795 --> 00:14:00.930
THAT ANDREW HAD DIED.I TOLD THEM THAT DADDYDID SOMETHING THAT
00:14:00.930 --> 00:14:02.231
I TOLD THEM THAT DADDYDID SOMETHING THATCAUSED HIM TO DIE.
00:14:02.231 --> 00:14:03.365
DID SOMETHING THATCAUSED HIM TO DIE.THAT'S THE WAY THAT
00:14:03.365 --> 00:14:04.667
CAUSED HIM TO DIE.THAT'S THE WAY THATI'VE EXPLAINED SUICIDE TO,
00:14:04.667 --> 00:14:06.235
THAT'S THE WAY THATI'VE EXPLAINED SUICIDE TO,AT THE TIME THEY WERE
00:14:06.235 --> 00:14:08.404
I'VE EXPLAINED SUICIDE TO,AT THE TIME THEY WEREFIVE, FOUR, AND TWO.
00:14:08.404 --> 00:14:09.538
AT THE TIME THEY WEREFIVE, FOUR, AND TWO.SO FOR A FIVE, FOUR, AND
00:14:09.538 --> 00:14:11.407
FIVE, FOUR, AND TWO.SO FOR A FIVE, FOUR, AND2-YEAR OLD TO UNDERSTAND.
00:14:11.407 --> 00:14:12.875
SO FOR A FIVE, FOUR, AND2-YEAR OLD TO UNDERSTAND.BUT THEN IT LEADS
00:14:12.875 --> 00:14:14.009
2-YEAR OLD TO UNDERSTAND.BUT THEN IT LEADSTO MORE QUESTIONS.
00:14:14.009 --> 00:14:15.244
BUT THEN IT LEADSTO MORE QUESTIONS."WELL, WHAT DID HE DO?"
00:14:15.244 --> 00:14:16.412
TO MORE QUESTIONS."WELL, WHAT DID HE DO?"LIKE THERE IS MORE QUESTIONS
00:14:16.412 --> 00:14:17.479
"WELL, WHAT DID HE DO?"LIKE THERE IS MORE QUESTIONSTHAT I'M NOT ABLE TO ANSWER
00:14:17.479 --> 00:14:18.747
LIKE THERE IS MORE QUESTIONSTHAT I'M NOT ABLE TO ANSWERUNTIL THEY'RE OLDER.
00:14:18.747 --> 00:14:20.382
THAT I'M NOT ABLE TO ANSWERUNTIL THEY'RE OLDER.THAT'S WHY I WROTE THE BOOK.
00:14:20.382 --> 00:14:21.583
UNTIL THEY'RE OLDER.THAT'S WHY I WROTE THE BOOK.IT WAS FOR THEM.
00:14:21.583 --> 00:14:23.252
THEY ARE MY TARGET AUDIENCE,
00:14:24.987 --> 00:14:26.388
THEY ARE MY TARGET AUDIENCE,THOSE THREE LITTLE BOYS.
00:14:26.388 --> 00:14:27.489
THOSE THREE LITTLE BOYS.AND I THINK IT IS GOING
00:14:27.489 --> 00:14:28.724
AND I THINK IT IS GOINGTO BE SO SPECIAL AND
00:14:28.724 --> 00:14:30.159
TO BE SO SPECIAL ANDSO POWERFUL FOR THEM
00:14:30.159 --> 00:14:31.460
AND READ THAT TOGETHER.
00:14:32.895 --> 00:14:34.296
AND READ THAT TOGETHER.OR TO LISTEN TO THE AUDIO BOOK
00:14:34.296 --> 00:14:35.364
AND READ THAT TOGETHER.OR TO LISTEN TO THE AUDIO BOOKTOGETHER AND THEY CAN
00:14:35.364 --> 00:14:37.099
OR TO LISTEN TO THE AUDIO BOOKTOGETHER AND THEY CANHEAR ME READ IT TO THEM.
00:14:37.099 --> 00:14:38.434
TOGETHER AND THEY CANHEAR ME READ IT TO THEM.AND FOR THEM TO BE ABLE
00:14:38.434 --> 00:14:39.635
HEAR ME READ IT TO THEM.AND FOR THEM TO BE ABLETO ASK QUESTIONS
00:14:39.635 --> 00:14:40.803
AND FOR THEM TO BE ABLETO ASK QUESTIONSAND TALK ABOUT IT.
00:14:40.803 --> 00:14:41.937
TO ASK QUESTIONSAND TALK ABOUT IT.I DON'T WANT TO HIDE
00:14:41.937 --> 00:14:43.072
AND TALK ABOUT IT.I DON'T WANT TO HIDEANYTHING FROM THEM.
00:14:43.072 --> 00:14:44.406
I DON'T WANT TO HIDEANYTHING FROM THEM.I WANT THEM TO KNOW THAT
00:14:44.406 --> 00:14:45.607
ANYTHING FROM THEM.I WANT THEM TO KNOW THATIT WAS SUICIDE AND I HOPE
00:14:45.607 --> 00:14:47.376
I WANT THEM TO KNOW THATIT WAS SUICIDE AND I HOPETHAT THROUGH THE WAY
00:14:47.376 --> 00:14:48.677
IT WAS SUICIDE AND I HOPETHAT THROUGH THE WAYTHAT I'VE EXPLAINED IT
00:14:48.677 --> 00:14:49.778
THAT THROUGH THE WAYTHAT I'VE EXPLAINED ITIN THE BOOK THAT THEY WILL
00:14:49.778 --> 00:14:51.080
THAT I'VE EXPLAINED ITIN THE BOOK THAT THEY WILLHAVE COMPASSION AND EMPATHY
00:14:51.080 --> 00:14:52.314
IN THE BOOK THAT THEY WILLHAVE COMPASSION AND EMPATHYFOR THEIR DAD.
00:14:52.314 --> 00:14:53.415
HAVE COMPASSION AND EMPATHYFOR THEIR DAD.THAT THEY WON'T THINK THAT
00:14:53.415 --> 00:14:55.050
FOR THEIR DAD.THAT THEY WON'T THINK THATTHEIR DAD ABANDONED THEM.
00:14:55.050 --> 00:14:56.085
THAT THEY WON'T THINK THATTHEIR DAD ABANDONED THEM.THAT THEY WON'T THINK
00:14:56.085 --> 00:14:57.186
THEIR DAD ABANDONED THEM.THAT THEY WON'T THINKTHAT THEIR DAD DECIDED
00:14:57.186 --> 00:14:58.287
THAT THEY WON'T THINKTHAT THEIR DAD DECIDEDTO LEAVE THEM.
00:14:58.287 --> 00:14:59.321
THAT THEIR DAD DECIDEDTO LEAVE THEM.BUT THEY WILL GROW
00:14:59.321 --> 00:15:00.556
TO LEAVE THEM.BUT THEY WILL GROWIN EMPATHY AND COMPASSION
00:15:00.556 --> 00:15:01.890
BUT THEY WILL GROWIN EMPATHY AND COMPASSIONAND SEE HIM AS THIS WASN'T
00:15:01.890 --> 00:15:02.958
IN EMPATHY AND COMPASSIONAND SEE HIM AS THIS WASN'TA CHOICE.
00:15:02.958 --> 00:15:04.026
AND SEE HIM AS THIS WASN'TA CHOICE.THIS WAS SOMETHING
00:15:04.026 --> 00:15:05.227
A CHOICE.THIS WAS SOMETHINGTHAT HAPPENED TO HIM.
00:15:05.227 --> 00:15:06.362
THIS WAS SOMETHINGTHAT HAPPENED TO HIM.HE WOULD HAVE NEVER
00:15:06.362 --> 00:15:07.496
THAT HAPPENED TO HIM.HE WOULD HAVE NEVERCHOSEN THIS.
00:15:07.496 --> 00:15:08.530
HE WOULD HAVE NEVERCHOSEN THIS.Sheila: THAT ACTUALLY,
00:15:08.530 --> 00:15:09.565
CHOSEN THIS.Sheila: THAT ACTUALLY,HONESTLY, EVEN HELPED ME,
00:15:09.565 --> 00:15:10.599
Sheila: THAT ACTUALLY,HONESTLY, EVEN HELPED ME,KAYLA.
00:15:10.599 --> 00:15:11.633
HONESTLY, EVEN HELPED ME,KAYLA.READING THE BOOK, THAT EVEN
00:15:11.633 --> 00:15:12.701
KAYLA.READING THE BOOK, THAT EVENHELPED ME BECAUSE WHEN
00:15:12.701 --> 00:15:14.269
READING THE BOOK, THAT EVENHELPED ME BECAUSE WHENI WAS YOUNGER I WOULD THINK,
00:15:14.269 --> 00:15:15.537
HELPED ME BECAUSE WHENI WAS YOUNGER I WOULD THINK,WHATEVER MY DAD WAS FEELING
00:15:15.537 --> 00:15:16.805
I WAS YOUNGER I WOULD THINK,WHATEVER MY DAD WAS FEELINGWAS WORSE THAN
00:15:16.805 --> 00:15:18.240
WHATEVER MY DAD WAS FEELINGWAS WORSE THANHIS LOVE FOR ME.
00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:19.408
WAS WORSE THANHIS LOVE FOR ME.I THINK THAT --
00:15:19.408 --> 00:15:20.576
HIS LOVE FOR ME.I THINK THAT --WHAT ARE SOME OF THE COMMON
00:15:20.576 --> 00:15:22.478
I THINK THAT --WHAT ARE SOME OF THE COMMONMISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT SUICIDE
00:15:22.478 --> 00:15:23.812
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE COMMONMISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT SUICIDETHAT YOU CLEAR UP
00:15:23.812 --> 00:15:26.015
MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT SUICIDETHAT YOU CLEAR UPIN YOUR BOOK?
00:15:26.015 --> 00:15:27.149
THAT YOU CLEAR UPIN YOUR BOOK?Kayla: I THINK THE BIGGEST
00:15:27.149 --> 00:15:29.018
IN YOUR BOOK?Kayla: I THINK THE BIGGESTIS THAT SUICIDE IS SELFISH.
00:15:29.018 --> 00:15:30.119
Kayla: I THINK THE BIGGESTIS THAT SUICIDE IS SELFISH.I'LL NEVER FORGET THE ONE
00:15:30.119 --> 00:15:31.220
IS THAT SUICIDE IS SELFISH.I'LL NEVER FORGET THE ONETIME THAT ANDREW TOLD ME
00:15:31.220 --> 00:15:32.888
I'LL NEVER FORGET THE ONETIME THAT ANDREW TOLD METHAT HE WAS SUICIDAL AND
00:15:32.888 --> 00:15:34.590
TIME THAT ANDREW TOLD METHAT HE WAS SUICIDAL ANDMY INSTANT REACTION TO THAT
00:15:34.590 --> 00:15:36.458
THAT HE WAS SUICIDAL ANDMY INSTANT REACTION TO THATIS LIKE, "THAT IS SO SELFISH.
00:15:36.458 --> 00:15:37.693
MY INSTANT REACTION TO THATIS LIKE, "THAT IS SO SELFISH.YOU WOULD NEVER DO THAT.
00:15:37.693 --> 00:15:38.727
IS LIKE, "THAT IS SO SELFISH.YOU WOULD NEVER DO THAT.YOU CAN NEVER DO THAT
00:15:38.727 --> 00:15:39.895
YOU WOULD NEVER DO THAT.YOU CAN NEVER DO THATTO ME AND THE KIDS."
00:15:39.895 --> 00:15:41.697
YOU CAN NEVER DO THATTO ME AND THE KIDS."AND IT IS THIS --
00:15:41.697 --> 00:15:43.265
TO ME AND THE KIDS."AND IT IS THIS --WE THINK IT IS THIS SELFISH
00:15:43.265 --> 00:15:44.400
AND IT IS THIS --WE THINK IT IS THIS SELFISHTHING WHEN REALLY
00:15:44.400 --> 00:15:45.567
WE THINK IT IS THIS SELFISHTHING WHEN REALLYIT IS A PAIN PROBLEM.
00:15:45.567 --> 00:15:46.668
THING WHEN REALLYIT IS A PAIN PROBLEM.THE PERSON WHO IS STRUGGLING
00:15:46.668 --> 00:15:47.736
IT IS A PAIN PROBLEM.THE PERSON WHO IS STRUGGLINGWITH SUICIDAL IDEATION
00:15:47.736 --> 00:15:49.705
THE PERSON WHO IS STRUGGLINGWITH SUICIDAL IDEATIONIS OVERWHELMED WITH
00:15:49.705 --> 00:15:51.940
WITH SUICIDAL IDEATIONIS OVERWHELMED WITHAN ALL-CONSUMING PAIN.
00:15:51.940 --> 00:15:53.108
IS OVERWHELMED WITHAN ALL-CONSUMING PAIN.I'LL NEVER FORGET READING
00:15:53.108 --> 00:15:54.476
AN ALL-CONSUMING PAIN.I'LL NEVER FORGET READINGA BLOG THAT ANNE VOSKAMP
00:15:54.476 --> 00:15:55.544
I'LL NEVER FORGET READINGA BLOG THAT ANNE VOSKAMPHAD WROTE AND SHE HAD
00:15:55.544 --> 00:15:56.812
A BLOG THAT ANNE VOSKAMPHAD WROTE AND SHE HADDESCRIBED IT AS BEING TRAPPED
00:15:56.812 --> 00:15:58.147
HAD WROTE AND SHE HADDESCRIBED IT AS BEING TRAPPEDIN A BURNING BUILDING AND
00:15:58.147 --> 00:15:59.481
DESCRIBED IT AS BEING TRAPPEDIN A BURNING BUILDING ANDTHE ONLY WAY TO ESCAPE
00:15:59.481 --> 00:16:00.649
IN A BURNING BUILDING ANDTHE ONLY WAY TO ESCAPETHE FLAMES IS TO JUMP OUT
00:16:00.649 --> 00:16:01.984
THE ONLY WAY TO ESCAPETHE FLAMES IS TO JUMP OUTTHE WINDOW.
00:16:01.984 --> 00:16:03.185
THE FLAMES IS TO JUMP OUTTHE WINDOW.THAT REALLY HELPED ME TO HAVE
00:16:03.185 --> 00:16:04.753
THE WINDOW.THAT REALLY HELPED ME TO HAVECOMPASSION FOR ANDREW
00:16:04.753 --> 00:16:06.055
THAT REALLY HELPED ME TO HAVECOMPASSION FOR ANDREWAND TO KNOW THAT IT ISN'T
00:16:06.055 --> 00:16:07.222
COMPASSION FOR ANDREWAND TO KNOW THAT IT ISN'TA SELFISH THING.
00:16:07.222 --> 00:16:08.390
AND TO KNOW THAT IT ISN'TA SELFISH THING.FOR ME, I ALMOST SEE
00:16:08.390 --> 00:16:09.458
A SELFISH THING.FOR ME, I ALMOST SEETHE SUICIDE AS
00:16:09.458 --> 00:16:10.692
FOR ME, I ALMOST SEETHE SUICIDE ASA TRAGIC ACCIDENT.
00:16:10.692 --> 00:16:11.760
THE SUICIDE ASA TRAGIC ACCIDENT.I DESCRIBE IT, HE WAS
00:16:11.760 --> 00:16:13.762
A TRAGIC ACCIDENT.I DESCRIBE IT, HE WASSURROUNDED BY SUPPORT,
00:16:13.762 --> 00:16:15.097
I DESCRIBE IT, HE WASSURROUNDED BY SUPPORT,HE WAS SURROUNDED BY A TEAM
00:16:15.097 --> 00:16:16.298
SURROUNDED BY SUPPORT,HE WAS SURROUNDED BY A TEAMOF DOCTORS, HE WAS SURROUNDED
00:16:16.298 --> 00:16:17.566
HE WAS SURROUNDED BY A TEAMOF DOCTORS, HE WAS SURROUNDEDBY PEOPLE WHO LOVED HIM
00:16:17.566 --> 00:16:18.667
OF DOCTORS, HE WAS SURROUNDEDBY PEOPLE WHO LOVED HIMSO MUCH, WHO WOULD HAVE
00:16:18.667 --> 00:16:20.869
BY PEOPLE WHO LOVED HIMSO MUCH, WHO WOULD HAVEDONE ANYTHING TO SAVE HIM.
00:16:20.869 --> 00:16:21.970
SO MUCH, WHO WOULD HAVEDONE ANYTHING TO SAVE HIM.AND SO WE ALMOST DESCRIBE IT
00:16:21.970 --> 00:16:23.305
DONE ANYTHING TO SAVE HIM.AND SO WE ALMOST DESCRIBE ITAS A CHILD DROWNING
00:16:23.305 --> 00:16:24.606
AND SO WE ALMOST DESCRIBE ITAS A CHILD DROWNINGIN A SWIMMING POOL
00:16:24.606 --> 00:16:26.008
AS A CHILD DROWNINGIN A SWIMMING POOLAT A BIRTHDAY PARTY.
00:16:26.008 --> 00:16:27.276
IN A SWIMMING POOLAT A BIRTHDAY PARTY.LIKE THAT'S HOW IT FEELS.
00:16:27.276 --> 00:16:28.343
AT A BIRTHDAY PARTY.LIKE THAT'S HOW IT FEELS.LIKE ANYONE WOULD HAVE
00:16:28.343 --> 00:16:29.545
LIKE THAT'S HOW IT FEELS.LIKE ANYONE WOULD HAVEJUMPED IN THE POOL
00:16:29.545 --> 00:16:30.679
LIKE ANYONE WOULD HAVEJUMPED IN THE POOLAND SAVED THEM.
00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:31.747
JUMPED IN THE POOLAND SAVED THEM.LIKE ANYONE OF US WOULD HAVE
00:16:31.747 --> 00:16:33.248
AND SAVED THEM.LIKE ANYONE OF US WOULD HAVEJUMPED IN AND SAVED HIM.
00:16:33.248 --> 00:16:34.516
LIKE ANYONE OF US WOULD HAVEJUMPED IN AND SAVED HIM.AND IT WASN'T THIS
00:16:34.516 --> 00:16:35.851
JUMPED IN AND SAVED HIM.AND IT WASN'T THISSELFISH DECISION.
00:16:35.851 --> 00:16:37.286
AND IT WASN'T THISSELFISH DECISION.LIKE HE WAS OVERWHELMED
00:16:37.286 --> 00:16:38.454
SELFISH DECISION.LIKE HE WAS OVERWHELMEDWITH PAIN.
00:16:38.454 --> 00:16:39.822
LIKE HE WAS OVERWHELMEDWITH PAIN.AND SO THE SUICIDE WAS
00:16:39.822 --> 00:16:40.989
WITH PAIN.AND SO THE SUICIDE WASA RESULT OF THAT OVERWHELMING
00:16:40.989 --> 00:16:43.225
AND SO THE SUICIDE WASA RESULT OF THAT OVERWHELMINGPAIN IN MENTAL ILLNESS.
00:16:43.225 --> 00:16:44.493
A RESULT OF THAT OVERWHELMINGPAIN IN MENTAL ILLNESS.AND THEN I ALSO THINK
00:16:44.493 --> 00:16:45.627
PAIN IN MENTAL ILLNESS.AND THEN I ALSO THINKONE OF THE OTHER BIGGEST
00:16:45.627 --> 00:16:46.829
AND THEN I ALSO THINKONE OF THE OTHER BIGGESTCONCEPTIONS IN CHRISTIAN
00:16:46.829 --> 00:16:48.030
ONE OF THE OTHER BIGGESTCONCEPTIONS IN CHRISTIANCULTURE IS THAT WHEN
00:16:48.030 --> 00:16:49.164
CONCEPTIONS IN CHRISTIANCULTURE IS THAT WHENSOMEONE DIES BY SUICIDE
00:16:49.164 --> 00:16:50.232
CULTURE IS THAT WHENSOMEONE DIES BY SUICIDETHEY DON'T GET TO GO
00:16:50.232 --> 00:16:51.433
SOMEONE DIES BY SUICIDETHEY DON'T GET TO GOTO HEAVEN.
00:16:51.433 --> 00:16:52.601
THEY DON'T GET TO GOTO HEAVEN.I REMEMBER I'LL NEVER FORGET
00:16:52.601 --> 00:16:53.836
TO HEAVEN.I REMEMBER I'LL NEVER FORGETA LOT OF COMMENTS THAT CAME IN
00:16:53.836 --> 00:16:54.937
I REMEMBER I'LL NEVER FORGETA LOT OF COMMENTS THAT CAME INAND EMAILS THAT CAME IN LIKE,
00:16:54.937 --> 00:16:56.004
A LOT OF COMMENTS THAT CAME INAND EMAILS THAT CAME IN LIKE,"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT
00:16:56.004 --> 00:16:57.139
AND EMAILS THAT CAME IN LIKE,"HOW DARE YOU SAY THATHE IS IN HEAVEN.
00:16:57.139 --> 00:16:58.173
"HOW DARE YOU SAY THATHE IS IN HEAVEN.WHEN YOU DIE BY SUICIDE
00:16:58.173 --> 00:17:00.542
HE IS IN HEAVEN.WHEN YOU DIE BY SUICIDEYOU DON'T GO TO HEAVEN."
00:17:00.542 --> 00:17:01.743
WHEN YOU DIE BY SUICIDEYOU DON'T GO TO HEAVEN."I WAS UNDER THE SAME
00:17:01.743 --> 00:17:02.911
YOU DON'T GO TO HEAVEN."I WAS UNDER THE SAMEMISCONCEPTION.
00:17:02.911 --> 00:17:04.012
I WAS UNDER THE SAMEMISCONCEPTION.I'LL NEVER FORGET BEING
00:17:04.012 --> 00:17:05.180
MISCONCEPTION.I'LL NEVER FORGET BEINGIN THE HOSPITAL ROOM AND HE IS
00:17:05.180 --> 00:17:06.248
I'LL NEVER FORGET BEINGIN THE HOSPITAL ROOM AND HE ISLAYING ON THE HOSPITAL BED
00:17:06.248 --> 00:17:07.616
IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM AND HE ISLAYING ON THE HOSPITAL BEDAND HE IS TAKING HIS LAST
00:17:07.616 --> 00:17:08.784
LAYING ON THE HOSPITAL BEDAND HE IS TAKING HIS LASTBREATHS AND I LEANED OVER
00:17:08.784 --> 00:17:09.952
AND HE IS TAKING HIS LASTBREATHS AND I LEANED OVERTHE HOSPITAL BED AND I ASKED
00:17:09.952 --> 00:17:11.053
BREATHS AND I LEANED OVERTHE HOSPITAL BED AND I ASKEDMY MOTHER-IN-LAW,
00:17:11.053 --> 00:17:12.387
THE HOSPITAL BED AND I ASKEDMY MOTHER-IN-LAW,"WILL HE GO TO HEAVEN?"
00:17:12.387 --> 00:17:13.589
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW,"WILL HE GO TO HEAVEN?"LIKE I WAS UNDER THAT
00:17:13.589 --> 00:17:14.890
"WILL HE GO TO HEAVEN?"LIKE I WAS UNDER THATSAME MISCONCEPTION THAT
00:17:14.890 --> 00:17:15.958
LIKE I WAS UNDER THATSAME MISCONCEPTION THATI'D PICKED UP SOMEWHERE
00:17:15.958 --> 00:17:17.459
SAME MISCONCEPTION THATI'D PICKED UP SOMEWHEREALONG THE WAY.
00:17:17.459 --> 00:17:18.961
AS I'M CONFIDENT NOW THAT
00:17:20.395 --> 00:17:21.964
AS I'M CONFIDENT NOW THATOUR SALVATION DOES NOT HINGE
00:17:21.964 --> 00:17:23.332
OUR SALVATION DOES NOT HINGEON HOW WE DIE.
00:17:23.332 --> 00:17:24.933
ON HOW WE DIE.OUR SALVATION HINGES ON
00:17:24.933 --> 00:17:26.768
I'M SO CONFIDENT OF THAT.
00:17:28.971 --> 00:17:31.306
I'M SO CONFIDENT OF THAT.THAT HE IS IN GOD'S LOVE.
00:17:31.306 --> 00:17:32.541
I'M SO CONFIDENT OF THAT.THAT HE IS IN GOD'S LOVE.WHATEVER THAT LOOKS LIKE,
00:17:32.541 --> 00:17:33.809
THAT HE IS IN GOD'S LOVE.WHATEVER THAT LOOKS LIKE,LIKE HE IS THERE AND
00:17:33.809 --> 00:17:35.911
WHATEVER THAT LOOKS LIKE,LIKE HE IS THERE ANDHE IS HEALED AND HE IS FREE.
00:17:35.911 --> 00:17:37.613
LIKE HE IS THERE ANDHE IS HEALED AND HE IS FREE.I HATE THAT THIS HAPPENED
00:17:37.613 --> 00:17:38.947
HE IS HEALED AND HE IS FREE.I HATE THAT THIS HAPPENEDAND HE WOULD HATE THAT
00:17:38.947 --> 00:17:40.716
I HATE THAT THIS HAPPENEDAND HE WOULD HATE THATTHIS HAPPENED BUT THAT
00:17:40.716 --> 00:17:41.884
AND HE WOULD HATE THATTHIS HAPPENED BUT THATDOES NOT SEPARATE HIM
00:17:41.884 --> 00:17:43.152
THIS HAPPENED BUT THATDOES NOT SEPARATE HIMFROM GOD'S LOVE.
00:17:43.152 --> 00:17:44.386
Randy: WE CAN'T EARN
00:17:45.454 --> 00:17:46.522
Randy: WE CAN'T EARNOUR OWN SPIRITUAL BIRTH
00:17:46.522 --> 00:17:48.657
OUR OWN SPIRITUAL BIRTHAND WE CAN'T UNEARN IT.
00:17:48.657 --> 00:17:50.626
LEFT BUT I WANT TO GIVE YOU
00:17:52.161 --> 00:17:53.662
LEFT BUT I WANT TO GIVE YOUTHE OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAK
00:17:53.662 --> 00:17:54.830
LEFT BUT I WANT TO GIVE YOUTHE OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAKTO TWO PEOPLE WHO ARE
00:17:54.830 --> 00:17:55.898
THE OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAKTO TWO PEOPLE WHO AREWATCHING RIGHT NOW.
00:17:55.898 --> 00:17:57.132
TO TWO PEOPLE WHO AREWATCHING RIGHT NOW.ONE WHO IS ALL CONSUMED
00:17:57.132 --> 00:17:59.001
WATCHING RIGHT NOW.ONE WHO IS ALL CONSUMEDWITH THAT PAIN.
00:17:59.001 --> 00:18:01.069
ONE WHO IS ALL CONSUMEDWITH THAT PAIN.AND THE OTHER PERSON WHO
00:18:01.069 --> 00:18:02.604
WITH THAT PAIN.AND THE OTHER PERSON WHOIS THE LOVED ONE OF THAT ONE
00:18:02.604 --> 00:18:04.339
AND THE OTHER PERSON WHOIS THE LOVED ONE OF THAT ONECONSUMED BY THAT PAIN.
00:18:04.339 --> 00:18:05.407
IS THE LOVED ONE OF THAT ONECONSUMED BY THAT PAIN.WHAT DO YOU SAY
00:18:05.407 --> 00:18:08.343
CONSUMED BY THAT PAIN.WHAT DO YOU SAYTO THOSE TWO PEOPLE?
00:18:08.343 --> 00:18:10.145
WHAT DO YOU SAYTO THOSE TWO PEOPLE?Kayla: IF YOU'RE SITTING
00:18:10.145 --> 00:18:11.413
TO THOSE TWO PEOPLE?Kayla: IF YOU'RE SITTINGIN A PLACE OF PAIN AND YOU'RE
00:18:11.413 --> 00:18:13.148
Kayla: IF YOU'RE SITTINGIN A PLACE OF PAIN AND YOU'RESTRUGGLING WITH DEPRESSION
00:18:13.148 --> 00:18:14.283
IN A PLACE OF PAIN AND YOU'RESTRUGGLING WITH DEPRESSIONAND YOU'RE STRUGGLING
00:18:14.283 --> 00:18:15.684
STRUGGLING WITH DEPRESSIONAND YOU'RE STRUGGLINGWITH SUICIDAL IDEATION,
00:18:15.684 --> 00:18:16.752
AND YOU'RE STRUGGLINGWITH SUICIDAL IDEATION,I JUST WANT TO SAY
00:18:16.752 --> 00:18:19.388
WITH SUICIDAL IDEATION,I JUST WANT TO SAYI'M SO DEEPLY SORRY
00:18:19.388 --> 00:18:20.656
I JUST WANT TO SAYI'M SO DEEPLY SORRYFOR YOUR PAIN.
00:18:20.656 --> 00:18:22.224
I'M SO DEEPLY SORRYFOR YOUR PAIN.I'M SO DEEPLY SORRY THAT
00:18:22.224 --> 00:18:24.593
FOR YOUR PAIN.I'M SO DEEPLY SORRY THATIT FEELS SO OVERWHELMING
00:18:24.593 --> 00:18:25.627
I'M SO DEEPLY SORRY THATIT FEELS SO OVERWHELMINGAND ALL-CONSUMING
00:18:25.627 --> 00:18:26.962
IT FEELS SO OVERWHELMINGAND ALL-CONSUMINGAND ALL-ENDING.
00:18:26.962 --> 00:18:28.063
AND ALL-CONSUMINGAND ALL-ENDING.I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT
00:18:28.063 --> 00:18:29.698
AND ALL-ENDING.I WANT YOU TO KNOW THATYOU ARE WORTHY OF HELP.
00:18:29.698 --> 00:18:31.300
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THATYOU ARE WORTHY OF HELP.THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.
00:18:31.300 --> 00:18:33.302
YOU ARE WORTHY OF HELP.THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.THAT YOU ARE LOVED.
00:18:33.302 --> 00:18:35.604
THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.THAT YOU ARE LOVED.THAT PEOPLE DO CARE ABOUT YOU.
00:18:35.604 --> 00:18:37.539
THAT YOU ARE LOVED.THAT PEOPLE DO CARE ABOUT YOU.THAT HELP IS AVAILABLE.
00:18:37.539 --> 00:18:38.740
THAT PEOPLE DO CARE ABOUT YOU.THAT HELP IS AVAILABLE.PLEASE KEEP REACHING OUT.
00:18:38.740 --> 00:18:39.875
THAT HELP IS AVAILABLE.PLEASE KEEP REACHING OUT.IF YOU FEEL LIKE NO ONE
00:18:39.875 --> 00:18:41.543
PLEASE KEEP REACHING OUT.IF YOU FEEL LIKE NO ONEUNDERSTANDS YOUR PAIN,
00:18:41.543 --> 00:18:42.945
IF YOU FEEL LIKE NO ONEUNDERSTANDS YOUR PAIN,PLEASE KEEP REACHING OUT.
00:18:42.945 --> 00:18:44.213
UNDERSTANDS YOUR PAIN,PLEASE KEEP REACHING OUT.PLEASE KEEP CALLING.
00:18:44.213 --> 00:18:45.447
PLEASE KEEP REACHING OUT.PLEASE KEEP CALLING.PLEASE KEEP CALLING
00:18:45.447 --> 00:18:46.548
PLEASE KEEP CALLING.PLEASE KEEP CALLINGA THERAPIST OR CALLING
00:18:46.548 --> 00:18:47.783
PLEASE KEEP CALLINGA THERAPIST OR CALLINGA FRIEND OR CALLING
00:18:47.783 --> 00:18:49.017
A THERAPIST OR CALLINGA FRIEND OR CALLINGTHE SUICIDE HOTLINE.
00:18:49.017 --> 00:18:50.085
A FRIEND OR CALLINGTHE SUICIDE HOTLINE.THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE
00:18:50.085 --> 00:18:51.286
THE SUICIDE HOTLINE.THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARESURROUNDING YOU THAT
00:18:51.286 --> 00:18:52.788
THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARESURROUNDING YOU THATLOVE YOU AND WANT TO WALK
00:18:52.788 --> 00:18:53.822
SURROUNDING YOU THATLOVE YOU AND WANT TO WALKBESIDE YOU BUT YOU HAVE
00:18:53.822 --> 00:18:55.257
LOVE YOU AND WANT TO WALKBESIDE YOU BUT YOU HAVETO LET THEM IN.
00:18:55.257 --> 00:18:56.258
BESIDE YOU BUT YOU HAVETO LET THEM IN.YOU WERE NEVER MEANT
00:18:56.258 --> 00:18:57.759
TO LET THEM IN.YOU WERE NEVER MEANTTO CARRY THAT PAIN ALONE.
00:18:57.759 --> 00:18:59.261
YOU WERE NEVER MEANTTO CARRY THAT PAIN ALONE.AND LIVING WITH THE PAIN
00:18:59.261 --> 00:19:00.829
TO CARRY THAT PAIN ALONE.AND LIVING WITH THE PAINIS POSSIBLE.
00:19:00.829 --> 00:19:01.997
AND LIVING WITH THE PAINIS POSSIBLE.THAT'S THE BIGGEST THING
00:19:01.997 --> 00:19:03.198
IS POSSIBLE.THAT'S THE BIGGEST THINGI'VE LEARNED IN MY JOURNEY
00:19:03.198 --> 00:19:04.433
THAT'S THE BIGGEST THINGI'VE LEARNED IN MY JOURNEYAS I HAVE STRUGGLED WITH
00:19:04.433 --> 00:19:06.668
I'VE LEARNED IN MY JOURNEYAS I HAVE STRUGGLED WITHSUICIDAL IDEATION AS WELL
00:19:06.668 --> 00:19:07.869
AS I HAVE STRUGGLED WITHSUICIDAL IDEATION AS WELLIN MY GRIEF JOURNEY IS THAT
00:19:07.869 --> 00:19:09.705
SUICIDAL IDEATION AS WELLIN MY GRIEF JOURNEY IS THATLIVING WITH THE PAIN
00:19:09.705 --> 00:19:11.373
IN MY GRIEF JOURNEY IS THATLIVING WITH THE PAINIS POSSIBLE.
00:19:11.373 --> 00:19:13.175
LIVING WITH THE PAINIS POSSIBLE.THERE IS A WAY TO CARRY
00:19:13.175 --> 00:19:15.010
IS POSSIBLE.THERE IS A WAY TO CARRYTHE PAIN AND STILL BUILD
00:19:15.010 --> 00:19:16.912
THERE IS A WAY TO CARRYTHE PAIN AND STILL BUILDTHE BEAUTIFUL LIFE AROUND IT.
00:19:16.912 --> 00:19:18.046
THE PAIN AND STILL BUILDTHE BEAUTIFUL LIFE AROUND IT.AND FOR THE PERSON WHO IS
00:19:18.046 --> 00:19:19.181
THE BEAUTIFUL LIFE AROUND IT.AND FOR THE PERSON WHO ISWALKING ALONGSIDE SOMEBODY
00:19:19.181 --> 00:19:20.315
AND FOR THE PERSON WHO ISWALKING ALONGSIDE SOMEBODYWHO IS STRUGGLING,
00:19:20.315 --> 00:19:21.516
WALKING ALONGSIDE SOMEBODYWHO IS STRUGGLING,I WOULD SAY, KEEP REACHING OUT
00:19:21.516 --> 00:19:22.718
WHO IS STRUGGLING,I WOULD SAY, KEEP REACHING OUTFOR HELP TOO.
00:19:22.718 --> 00:19:23.752
I WOULD SAY, KEEP REACHING OUTFOR HELP TOO.LIKE YOU CAN'T KEEP
00:19:23.752 --> 00:19:24.820
FOR HELP TOO.LIKE YOU CAN'T KEEPPOURING OUT AND YOU CAN'T
00:19:24.820 --> 00:19:25.887
LIKE YOU CAN'T KEEPPOURING OUT AND YOU CAN'TKEEP TAKING CARE
00:19:25.887 --> 00:19:26.955
POURING OUT AND YOU CAN'TKEEP TAKING CAREOF THIS PERSON
00:19:26.955 --> 00:19:28.156
KEEP TAKING CAREOF THIS PERSONTHAT YOU LOVE WITHOUT
00:19:28.156 --> 00:19:29.925
OF THIS PERSONTHAT YOU LOVE WITHOUTTAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF.
00:19:29.925 --> 00:19:31.026
THAT YOU LOVE WITHOUTTAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF.GO SEE A THERAPIST
00:19:31.026 --> 00:19:32.194
TAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF.GO SEE A THERAPISTBY YOURSELF.
00:19:32.194 --> 00:19:34.463
GO SEE A THERAPISTBY YOURSELF.SCHEDULE A WEEKEND TRIP AWAY.
00:19:34.463 --> 00:19:35.731
BY YOURSELF.SCHEDULE A WEEKEND TRIP AWAY.GO DO THE GIRLS' NIGHT.
00:19:35.731 --> 00:19:36.999
SCHEDULE A WEEKEND TRIP AWAY.GO DO THE GIRLS' NIGHT.HIRE THE BABY-SITTER.
00:19:36.999 --> 00:19:38.767
GO DO THE GIRLS' NIGHT.HIRE THE BABY-SITTER.LIKE INVITE OTHER PEOPLE
00:19:38.767 --> 00:19:40.402
HIRE THE BABY-SITTER.LIKE INVITE OTHER PEOPLEINTO THE PAIN.
00:19:40.402 --> 00:19:41.837
LIKE INVITE OTHER PEOPLEINTO THE PAIN.TELL OTHER PEOPLE HOW
00:19:41.837 --> 00:19:42.971
INTO THE PAIN.TELL OTHER PEOPLE HOWIT REALLY IS.
00:19:42.971 --> 00:19:43.972
TELL OTHER PEOPLE HOWIT REALLY IS.BE TRANSPARENT.
00:19:43.972 --> 00:19:45.407
IT REALLY IS.BE TRANSPARENT.BE AUTHENTIC.
00:19:45.407 --> 00:19:46.675
BE TRANSPARENT.BE AUTHENTIC.LET PEOPLE IN.
00:19:46.675 --> 00:19:47.776
BE AUTHENTIC.LET PEOPLE IN.THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WANT
00:19:47.776 --> 00:19:48.910
LET PEOPLE IN.THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WANTTO CARE FOR YOU AND THAT WANT
00:19:48.910 --> 00:19:50.112
THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WANTTO CARE FOR YOU AND THAT WANTTO WALK ALONGSIDE YOU TOO
00:19:50.112 --> 00:19:52.948
TO CARE FOR YOU AND THAT WANTTO WALK ALONGSIDE YOU TOOAND YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
00:19:52.948 --> 00:19:54.016
TO WALK ALONGSIDE YOU TOOAND YOU ARE NOT ALONE.Sheila: FANTASTIC WISDOM,
00:19:54.016 --> 00:19:55.150
AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE.Sheila: FANTASTIC WISDOM,KAYLA.
00:19:55.150 --> 00:19:56.285
Sheila: FANTASTIC WISDOM,KAYLA.THANK YOU SO MUCH.
00:19:56.285 --> 00:19:57.452
KAYLA.THANK YOU SO MUCH.WHAT I'D LIKE TO ASK
00:19:57.452 --> 00:19:58.487
THANK YOU SO MUCH.WHAT I'D LIKE TO ASKOUR VIEWERS TO DO RIGHT NOW
00:19:58.487 --> 00:19:59.721
WHAT I'D LIKE TO ASKOUR VIEWERS TO DO RIGHT NOWIS WE'RE GOING TO TELL YOU
00:19:59.721 --> 00:20:00.756
OUR VIEWERS TO DO RIGHT NOWIS WE'RE GOING TO TELL YOUMORE ABOUT HOW TO GET
00:20:00.756 --> 00:20:01.990
IS WE'RE GOING TO TELL YOUMORE ABOUT HOW TO GETA HOLD OF KAYLA'S BOOK.
00:20:01.990 --> 00:20:03.091
MORE ABOUT HOW TO GETA HOLD OF KAYLA'S BOOK.BUT THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE
00:20:03.091 --> 00:20:04.793
A HOLD OF KAYLA'S BOOK.BUT THERE ARE SOME PEOPLERIGHT NOW WHO ARE SUFFERING
00:20:04.793 --> 00:20:05.961
BUT THERE ARE SOME PEOPLERIGHT NOW WHO ARE SUFFERINGAND WHO ARE HURTING AND
00:20:05.961 --> 00:20:07.195
RIGHT NOW WHO ARE SUFFERINGAND WHO ARE HURTING ANDWHO CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE
00:20:07.195 --> 00:20:08.930
AND WHO ARE HURTING ANDWHO CAN'T EVEN IMAGINELIVING ONE MORE DAY.
00:20:08.930 --> 00:20:11.033
WHO CAN'T EVEN IMAGINELIVING ONE MORE DAY.IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF STRUGGLING
00:20:11.033 --> 00:20:12.234
LIVING ONE MORE DAY.IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF STRUGGLINGWITH THOUGHTS LIKE THAT,
00:20:12.234 --> 00:20:13.502
IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF STRUGGLINGWITH THOUGHTS LIKE THAT,IT'S BECAUSE THEY SIMPLY
00:20:13.502 --> 00:20:14.936
WITH THOUGHTS LIKE THAT,IT'S BECAUSE THEY SIMPLYDON'T HAVE ENOUGH FOOD
00:20:14.936 --> 00:20:16.238
THAT'S A DESPERATION
00:20:17.639 --> 00:20:19.641
THAT'S A DESPERATIONTHAT YOU AND I CAN ADDRESS.
00:20:19.641 --> 00:20:20.942
THAT YOU AND I CAN ADDRESS.IF WE BROUGHT ONE OF THESE
00:20:20.942 --> 00:20:23.178
IF WE BROUGHT ONE OF THESELITTLE ONES TO YOUR HOME
00:20:23.178 --> 00:20:24.579
LITTLE ONES TO YOUR HOMEAND ASKED FOR HELP,
00:20:24.579 --> 00:20:25.947
AND ASKED FOR HELP,YOU WOULD HELP IN A MOMENT.
00:20:25.947 --> 00:20:27.182
YOU WOULD HELP IN A MOMENT.YOU WOULD SEE THE NEED AND
00:20:27.182 --> 00:20:28.750
YOU WOULD SEE THE NEED ANDBE LIKE, "I WANT TO HELP."
00:20:28.750 --> 00:20:30.552
BE LIKE, "I WANT TO HELP."THAT'S THE AMAZING GIFT
00:20:30.552 --> 00:20:32.154
THAT'S THE AMAZING GIFTWE HAVE THROUGH
00:20:32.154 --> 00:20:33.955
WE HAVE THROUGHMISSION FEEDING WITH LIFE .
00:20:33.955 --> 00:20:35.157
MISSION FEEDING WITH LIFE .WE CAN BRING YOU
00:20:35.157 --> 00:20:36.558
WE CAN BRING YOUTHESE CHILDREN AND SAY,
00:20:36.558 --> 00:20:37.759
THESE CHILDREN AND SAY,"LOOK, THESE CHILDREN
00:20:37.759 --> 00:20:38.960
"LOOK, THESE CHILDRENNEED YOUR HELP NOW."
00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:40.262
NEED YOUR HELP NOW."THIS YEAR HAS BEEN SUCH
00:20:40.262 --> 00:20:42.230
THIS YEAR HAS BEEN SUCHAN INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT YEAR
00:20:42.230 --> 00:20:43.999
AN INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT YEARFOR SO MANY OF US
00:20:43.999 --> 00:20:45.634
FOR SO MANY OF USIN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS.
00:20:45.634 --> 00:20:47.302
IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS.BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING
00:20:47.302 --> 00:20:49.638
BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE BEINGA MOM IN AFRICA, AND NOT ONLY
00:20:49.638 --> 00:20:52.574
A MOM IN AFRICA, AND NOT ONLYARE YOU DEALING WITH COVID
00:20:52.574 --> 00:20:53.675
ARE YOU DEALING WITH COVIDBUT YOU'RE DEALING WITH
00:20:53.675 --> 00:20:55.110
BUT YOU'RE DEALING WITHYOUR CHILD WHO HAS
00:20:55.110 --> 00:20:57.713
YOUR CHILD WHO HASNO RESISTANCE TO ANY KIND
00:20:57.713 --> 00:20:58.980
NO RESISTANCE TO ANY KINDOF BACTERIA,
00:20:58.980 --> 00:21:00.716
OF BACTERIA,ANY KIND OF PANDEMIC?
00:21:00.716 --> 00:21:02.217
ANY KIND OF PANDEMIC?IT IS WAY MORE LIKELY
00:21:02.217 --> 00:21:03.352
IT IS WAY MORE LIKELYTHAT THOSE CHILDREN WILL
00:21:03.352 --> 00:21:04.753
THAT THOSE CHILDREN WILLLOSE THEIR LIVES DUE
00:21:04.753 --> 00:21:06.021
LOSE THEIR LIVES DUETO MALNUTRITION THAN
00:21:06.021 --> 00:21:07.322
BUT THE THING THAT BRINGS ME
00:21:09.024 --> 00:21:10.459
HOPE AND THE THING THAT
00:21:10.459 --> 00:21:11.827
BRINGS ME JOY, AND THE THING
00:21:11.827 --> 00:21:12.994
THAT MEANS WE WILL KEEP DOING
00:21:12.994 --> 00:21:14.096
THIS UNTIL THE LORD TAKES US
00:21:14.096 --> 00:21:15.831
HOME IS BECAUSE WE CAN
00:21:15.831 --> 00:21:17.132
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
00:21:17.132 --> 00:21:20.702
DO YOU KNOW THAT FOR $30 YOU--
00:21:20.702 --> 00:21:22.671
YOU CAN FEED THREE CHILDREN
00:21:22.671 --> 00:21:24.940
FOR THREE WHOLE MONTHS!
00:21:24.940 --> 00:21:26.174
THINK ABOUT THAT!
00:21:26.174 --> 00:21:27.576
IF YOU'RE ABLE TO DO $50
00:21:27.576 --> 00:21:29.077
YOU CAN FEED FIVE CHILDREN
00:21:29.077 --> 00:21:30.412
FOR THREE MONTHS.
00:21:30.412 --> 00:21:32.414
WE CAN ALL DO SOMETHING.
00:21:32.414 --> 00:21:34.149
WE HAVE TOLD THESE MOMS,
00:21:34.149 --> 00:21:35.417
WE'VE TOLD OUR FAITHFUL
00:21:35.417 --> 00:21:36.752
PARTNERS ON THE GROUND,
00:21:36.752 --> 00:21:38.153
"WE WILL COME HOME AND
00:21:38.153 --> 00:21:39.488
WE WILL TELL YOUR STORY."
00:21:39.488 --> 00:21:40.956
SO PLEASE, WILL YOU GO
00:21:40.956 --> 00:21:42.357
TO YOUR PHONE? CALL THE NUMBER
00:21:42.357 --> 00:21:43.592
ON YOUR SCREEN.
00:21:43.592 --> 00:21:44.659
GIVE THE VERY
00:21:44.659 --> 00:21:46.461
BEST GIFT POSSIBLE.
00:21:46.461 --> 00:21:47.629
WE'RE BRINGING THE CHILDREN
00:21:47.629 --> 00:21:48.997
TO YOU AND YOU CAN SAVE
00:21:48.997 --> 00:21:50.732
THEIR LIVES.
00:21:50.732 --> 00:21:50.866
TODAY ON TOP OF THE DAILYFIGHT FOR LIFE AND FOOD,
00:21:51.867 --> 00:21:55.170
FAMILIES AND CHILDRENACROSS AFRICA ARE NOW FORCED
00:21:55.270 --> 00:21:58.039
TO DEAL WITH THE CHALLENGESOF A GLOBAL HEALTH CRISIS.
00:21:58.140 --> 00:22:01.109
BECAUSE OF COVID-19,
00:22:01.209 --> 00:22:03.111
FOOD SCARCITY HASINCREASED DRASTICALLY
00:22:03.211 --> 00:22:05.113
AND THE FEAR OF DYINGFROM LACK OF FOOD
00:22:05.213 --> 00:22:07.616
IS FAR GREATERTHAN THE VIRUS ITSELF.
00:22:07.716 --> 00:22:10.352
EVEN IN THESEUNPRECEDENTED TIMES,
00:22:10.452 --> 00:22:12.454
MISSION FEEDINGWON'T STOP.
00:22:12.554 --> 00:22:14.456
WITH YOUR HELP,MISSION FEEDINGWILL CONTINUE TO BE
00:22:14.556 --> 00:22:16.858
A DAILY SOURCE OF FOOD,ENCOURAGEMENT, AND HEALTH
00:22:16.958 --> 00:22:19.561
FOR THE 350.000 CHILDRENCOUNTING ON US.
00:22:19.661 --> 00:22:23.498
CALL NOW WITH YOURLIFESAVING GIFT
00:22:23.598 --> 00:22:25.500
OF $30, $50,OR $100
00:22:25.600 --> 00:22:27.502
THAT WILL HELPFEED AND CARE
00:22:27.602 --> 00:22:29.504
FOR THREE, FIVEOR TEN CHILDREN
00:22:29.604 --> 00:22:31.506
FOR THREEFULL MONTHS.
00:22:31.606 --> 00:22:33.642
WITH YOUR GIFTWE'LL SEND YOU
00:22:33.742 --> 00:22:35.644
40 DAYSOF HEALING PROMISES.
00:22:35.744 --> 00:22:37.646
THIS BEAUTIFULHARDCOVER DEVOTIONAL
00:22:37.746 --> 00:22:39.648
WILL ENCOURAGE YOUIN YOUR FAITH
00:22:39.748 --> 00:22:41.650
AS YOU DIVE DEEP INTOTHE HEALING PROMISES
00:22:41.750 --> 00:22:43.652
THAT ARE YOURSIN JESUS' NAME.
00:22:43.752 --> 00:22:46.121
WITH YOUR GIFTOF $100 OR MORE
00:22:46.221 --> 00:22:48.123
PLEASE REQUEST THE"BLESSINGS FOR YOUR HOME"
00:22:48.223 --> 00:22:50.125
BOWLS ANDTEA TOWEL SET.
00:22:50.225 --> 00:22:52.160
THIS SET OF BOWLSAND TWO BEAUTIFULLY DESIGNEDTEA TOWELS
00:22:52.260 --> 00:22:55.197
WILL MAKE A WONDERFULADDITION TO YOUR HOME
00:22:55.297 --> 00:22:57.399
AND SERVEAS A REMINDER OF YOUR HELPIN BLESSING OTHERS
00:22:57.499 --> 00:23:00.469
AS A FRIENDOF LIFE .
00:23:00.569 --> 00:23:02.571
FINALLY, WITH YOUR GIFTOF $1.000 OR MORE
00:23:02.671 --> 00:23:05.040
TO HELP FEED AND CAREFOR 100 CHILDREN
00:23:05.140 --> 00:23:07.709
BE SURE TO REQUESTOUR COMMEMORATIVEBRONZE SCULPTURE,
00:23:07.809 --> 00:23:10.212
"A MOTHER'SSTRENGTH."
00:23:10.312 --> 00:23:12.214
PLEASE CALL, WRITE, OR MAKEYOUR GIFT ONLINE TODAY.
00:23:12.314 --> 00:23:17.486
Sheila: THANK YOU
00:23:23.191 --> 00:23:24.292
Sheila: THANK YOUFOR HELPING US.
00:23:24.292 --> 00:23:25.427
Sheila: THANK YOUFOR HELPING US.WE CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH.
00:23:25.427 --> 00:23:26.495
TO HELP YOU, FEAR GONE WILD :
00:23:28.330 --> 00:23:29.764
TO HELP YOU, FEAR GONE WILD :"THE STORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS,
00:23:29.764 --> 00:23:30.866
"THE STORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS,SUICIDE AND HOPE
00:23:30.866 --> 00:23:31.967
SUICIDE AND HOPETHROUGH LOSS."
00:23:31.967 --> 00:23:33.301
THROUGH LOSS."THIS IS AN IMPORTANT BOOK.
00:23:33.301 --> 00:23:34.536
THIS IS AN IMPORTANT BOOK.I THINK THIS BOOK SHOULD BE
00:23:34.536 --> 00:23:36.137
I THINK THIS BOOK SHOULD BEIN THE HOME OF EVERY AMERICAN.
00:23:36.137 --> 00:23:37.305
IN THE HOME OF EVERY AMERICAN.BECAUSE IF YOU'RE NOT
00:23:37.305 --> 00:23:38.473
BECAUSE IF YOU'RE NOTSTRUGGLING YOURSELF
00:23:38.473 --> 00:23:40.141
STRUGGLING YOURSELFYOU KNOW SOMEBODY WHO IS.
00:23:40.141 --> 00:23:41.476
YOU KNOW SOMEBODY WHO IS.SO KAYLA, I JUST WANT
00:23:41.476 --> 00:23:42.644
SO KAYLA, I JUST WANTTO THANK YOU FOR WRITING
00:23:42.644 --> 00:23:43.712
TO THANK YOU FOR WRITINGTHIS BOOK AND FOR THE COURAGE
00:23:43.712 --> 00:23:44.779
YOU'VE SHOWN.
00:23:45.847 --> 00:23:46.882
YOU'VE SHOWN.Kayla: THANK YOU SO MUCH.
00:23:46.882 --> 00:23:47.916
YOU'VE SHOWN.Kayla: THANK YOU SO MUCH.IT'S BEEN SUCH AN HONOR
00:23:47.916 --> 00:23:49.084
THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME
00:23:50.118 --> 00:23:51.520
THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING MEAND BEING BRAVE WITH ME
00:23:51.520 --> 00:23:53.321
Sheila: THANK YOU.
00:23:54.456 --> 00:23:55.524
Sheila: THANK YOU.Randy: THANK ALL YOU GUYS
00:23:55.524 --> 00:23:56.658
Sheila: THANK YOU.Randy: THANK ALL YOU GUYSFOR WATCHING.
00:23:56.658 --> 00:23:57.726
Randy: THANK ALL YOU GUYSFOR WATCHING.JOIN US AGAIN NEXT TIME
00:23:57.726 --> 00:23:59.561
- DO YOU KNOW ONE OF THE MOST
00:24:05.934 --> 00:24:07.102
- DO YOU KNOW ONE OF THE MOSTDISCOURAGING SCRIPTURES
00:24:07.102 --> 00:24:08.870
DISCOURAGING SCRIPTURESIN THE BIBLE TO ME?
00:24:08.870 --> 00:24:10.105
IN THE BIBLE TO ME?IT'S IN THE BOOK OF JAMES
00:24:10.105 --> 00:24:11.740
IT'S IN THE BOOK OF JAMESAND IT SAYS: NO MAN
00:24:11.740 --> 00:24:13.675
AND IT SAYS: NO MANCAN TAME HIS TONGUE.
00:24:13.675 --> 00:24:15.277
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT
00:24:16.645 --> 00:24:17.979
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT ITYOU THINK, "WELL,
00:24:17.979 --> 00:24:19.147
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT ITYOU THINK, "WELL,WHAT'S THE USE THEN?
00:24:19.147 --> 00:24:20.549
YOU THINK, "WELL,WHAT'S THE USE THEN?IF I CAN'T TAME MY TONGUE,
00:24:20.549 --> 00:24:21.917
WHAT'S THE USE THEN?IF I CAN'T TAME MY TONGUE,WHY EVEN TRY?"
00:24:21.917 --> 00:24:23.618
IF I CAN'T TAME MY TONGUE,WHY EVEN TRY?"IT'S BECAUSE THE BIBLE SAYS
00:24:23.618 --> 00:24:26.321
WHY EVEN TRY?"IT'S BECAUSE THE BIBLE SAYSTHAT WE CAN BRIDLE OUR TONGUE.
00:24:26.321 --> 00:24:27.956
IT'S BECAUSE THE BIBLE SAYSTHAT WE CAN BRIDLE OUR TONGUE.IN OTHER WORDS, WE CAN DO
00:24:27.956 --> 00:24:30.559
THAT WE CAN BRIDLE OUR TONGUE.IN OTHER WORDS, WE CAN DOSOMETHING TO HELP OUR TONGUE
00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:32.861
IN OTHER WORDS, WE CAN DOSOMETHING TO HELP OUR TONGUECOME UNDER THE SUBMISSION
00:24:32.861 --> 00:24:34.429
SOMETHING TO HELP OUR TONGUECOME UNDER THE SUBMISSIONOF THE HOLY SPIRIT.
00:24:34.429 --> 00:24:35.931
COME UNDER THE SUBMISSIONOF THE HOLY SPIRIT.THE BIBLE SAYS NO MAN CAN
00:24:35.931 --> 00:24:37.399
OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.THE BIBLE SAYS NO MAN CANTAME THE TONGUE, NO HUMAN,
00:24:37.399 --> 00:24:39.067
THE BIBLE SAYS NO MAN CANTAME THE TONGUE, NO HUMAN,NO PERSON CAN TAME THE TONGUE
00:24:39.067 --> 00:24:41.269
TAME THE TONGUE, NO HUMAN,NO PERSON CAN TAME THE TONGUEBUT GOD CAN TAME THE TONGUE
00:24:41.269 --> 00:24:43.071
NO PERSON CAN TAME THE TONGUEBUT GOD CAN TAME THE TONGUEBECAUSE GOD CREATED IT.
00:24:43.071 --> 00:24:44.506
BUT GOD CAN TAME THE TONGUEBECAUSE GOD CREATED IT.YEARS AGO, THE LORD SPOKE
00:24:44.506 --> 00:24:46.174
BECAUSE GOD CREATED IT.YEARS AGO, THE LORD SPOKETO ME THREE WORDS THAT
00:24:46.174 --> 00:24:48.443
YEARS AGO, THE LORD SPOKETO ME THREE WORDS THATHELPED ME TO TAME MY TONGUE:
00:24:48.443 --> 00:24:51.546
TO ME THREE WORDS THATHELPED ME TO TAME MY TONGUE:PAUSE, PONDER, AND PRAY.
00:24:51.546 --> 00:24:53.148
HELPED ME TO TAME MY TONGUE:PAUSE, PONDER, AND PRAY.IN OTHER WORDS, BEFORE I SPOKE
00:24:53.148 --> 00:24:54.482
PAUSE, PONDER, AND PRAY.IN OTHER WORDS, BEFORE I SPOKEJUST PAUSE.
00:24:54.482 --> 00:24:56.384
IN OTHER WORDS, BEFORE I SPOKEJUST PAUSE.JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO THINK
00:24:56.384 --> 00:24:58.486
JUST PAUSE.JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO THINKABOUT WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY.
00:24:58.486 --> 00:25:00.088
JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO THINKABOUT WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY.THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIMES
00:25:00.088 --> 00:25:01.489
ABOUT WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY.THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIMESWE'VE SAID THINGS THAT
00:25:01.489 --> 00:25:02.791
THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIMESWE'VE SAID THINGS THATWE WISH WE COULD
00:25:02.791 --> 00:25:04.326
WE'VE SAID THINGS THATWE WISH WE COULDTAKE THOSE WORDS BACK.
00:25:04.326 --> 00:25:06.127
WE WISH WE COULDTAKE THOSE WORDS BACK.SO JUST PAUSE FOR A MOMENT
00:25:06.127 --> 00:25:07.562
TAKE THOSE WORDS BACK.SO JUST PAUSE FOR A MOMENTBEFORE I SPEAK.
00:25:07.562 --> 00:25:09.864
SO JUST PAUSE FOR A MOMENTBEFORE I SPEAK.THEN PONDER, THINK ABOUT IT.
00:25:09.864 --> 00:25:11.600
BEFORE I SPEAK.THEN PONDER, THINK ABOUT IT.HOW'S THIS GOING TO SOUND?
00:25:11.600 --> 00:25:12.867
THEN PONDER, THINK ABOUT IT.HOW'S THIS GOING TO SOUND?IS THIS GOING TO COME OUT
00:25:12.867 --> 00:25:14.269
IS THIS GOING
00:25:15.370 --> 00:25:16.471
IS THIS GOINGTO MINISTER LIFE?
00:25:16.471 --> 00:25:17.572
TO MINISTER LIFE?OR IS IT GOING
00:25:17.572 --> 00:25:18.673
OR IS IT GOINGTO MINISTER DEATH?
00:25:18.673 --> 00:25:20.108
TO MINISTER DEATH?PROVERBS TELLS US THAT LIFE
00:25:20.108 --> 00:25:21.743
PROVERBS TELLS US THAT LIFEAND DEATH ARE IN THE POWER
00:25:21.743 --> 00:25:23.111
AND DEATH ARE IN THE POWEROF THE TONGUE.
00:25:23.111 --> 00:25:24.346
WE ARE EITHER SPEAKING LIFE
00:25:26.047 --> 00:25:27.616
WE ARE EITHER SPEAKING LIFEOVER PEOPLE
00:25:27.616 --> 00:25:28.950
WE ARE EITHER SPEAKING LIFEOVER PEOPLEOR WE'RE SPEAKING DEATH.
00:25:28.950 --> 00:25:30.285
OVER PEOPLEOR WE'RE SPEAKING DEATH.WE ARE AGREEING WITH
00:25:30.285 --> 00:25:32.354
OR WE'RE SPEAKING DEATH.WE ARE AGREEING WITHTHE CREATOR OR WE ARE
00:25:32.354 --> 00:25:34.823
WE ARE AGREEING WITHTHE CREATOR OR WE AREAGREEING WITH THE DESTROYER.
00:25:34.823 --> 00:25:36.224
THE CREATOR OR WE AREAGREEING WITH THE DESTROYER.SO FOR A MOMENT BEFORE
00:25:36.224 --> 00:25:38.293
AGREEING WITH THE DESTROYER.SO FOR A MOMENT BEFOREI SPEAK, I WANT TO JUST THINK
00:25:38.293 --> 00:25:40.061
SO FOR A MOMENT BEFOREI SPEAK, I WANT TO JUST THINKABOUT WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY
00:25:40.061 --> 00:25:41.529
I SPEAK, I WANT TO JUST THINKABOUT WHAT I'M GOING TO SAYAND JUST SAY, "LORD, I DON'T
00:25:41.529 --> 00:25:43.031
ABOUT WHAT I'M GOING TO SAYAND JUST SAY, "LORD, I DON'TWANT TO SAY SOMETHING THAT
00:25:43.031 --> 00:25:44.799
AND JUST SAY, "LORD, I DON'TWANT TO SAY SOMETHING THATIS GOING TO HURT THIS PERSON."
00:25:44.799 --> 00:25:46.134
WANT TO SAY SOMETHING THATIS GOING TO HURT THIS PERSON."THAT'S WHERE STEP THREE
00:25:46.134 --> 00:25:47.936
IS GOING TO HURT THIS PERSON."THAT'S WHERE STEP THREECOMES IN: PAUSE, PONDER,
00:25:47.936 --> 00:25:49.537
THAT'S WHERE STEP THREECOMES IN: PAUSE, PONDER,AND PRAY.
00:25:49.537 --> 00:25:50.872
COMES IN: PAUSE, PONDER,AND PRAY.HOLY SPIRIT, WHAT DO YOU
00:25:50.872 --> 00:25:52.374
AND PRAY.HOLY SPIRIT, WHAT DO YOUWANT ME TO SAY?
00:25:52.374 --> 00:25:53.908
HOLY SPIRIT, WHAT DO YOUWANT ME TO SAY?SO MANY TIMES GOD WILL GIVE US
00:25:53.908 --> 00:25:56.277
WANT ME TO SAY?SO MANY TIMES GOD WILL GIVE USWORDS TO SAY THAT AFTER
00:25:56.277 --> 00:25:57.846
SO MANY TIMES GOD WILL GIVE USWORDS TO SAY THAT AFTERWE SAY THEM THE PERSON WILL
00:25:57.846 --> 00:25:59.914
WORDS TO SAY THAT AFTERWE SAY THEM THE PERSON WILLSAY, "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
00:25:59.914 --> 00:26:01.616
WE SAY THEM THE PERSON WILLSAY, "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOWWHAT YOU JUST SAID.
00:26:01.616 --> 00:26:03.351
SAY, "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOWWHAT YOU JUST SAID.YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH
00:26:03.351 --> 00:26:05.020
WHAT YOU JUST SAID.YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCHI NEEDED TO HEAR THAT."
00:26:05.020 --> 00:26:06.955
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCHI NEEDED TO HEAR THAT."SO BECAUSE LIFE AND DEATH ARE
00:26:06.955 --> 00:26:08.690
I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT."SO BECAUSE LIFE AND DEATH AREIN THE POWER OF THE TONGUE,
00:26:08.690 --> 00:26:09.958
SO BECAUSE LIFE AND DEATH AREIN THE POWER OF THE TONGUE,I WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU,
00:26:09.958 --> 00:26:11.559
IN THE POWER OF THE TONGUE,I WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU,TAKE A MOMENT TODAY
00:26:11.559 --> 00:26:13.294
I WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU,TAKE A MOMENT TODAYAND BEFORE YOU SPEAK,
00:26:13.294 --> 00:26:17.065
TAKE A MOMENT TODAYAND BEFORE YOU SPEAK,JUST PAUSE, PONDER, AND PRAY.
00:26:17.065 --> 00:26:18.433
AND BEFORE YOU SPEAK,JUST PAUSE, PONDER, AND PRAY.AND WHEN YOU PRAY,
00:26:18.433 --> 00:26:19.701
JUST PAUSE, PONDER, AND PRAY.AND WHEN YOU PRAY,ASK THE LORD, "IS THERE
00:26:19.701 --> 00:26:21.436
AND WHEN YOU PRAY,ASK THE LORD, "IS THERESOMEONE I SHOULD CALL TODAY?
00:26:21.436 --> 00:26:22.904
ASK THE LORD, "IS THERESOMEONE I SHOULD CALL TODAY?IS THERE SOMEONE THAT
00:26:22.904 --> 00:26:24.472
SOMEONE I SHOULD CALL TODAY?IS THERE SOMEONE THATI SHOULD MINISTER TO?"
00:26:24.472 --> 00:26:25.774
IS THERE SOMEONE THATI SHOULD MINISTER TO?"AND LET THE LORD USE
00:26:25.774 --> 00:26:27.475
I SHOULD MINISTER TO?"AND LET THE LORD USEYOUR MOUTH TO SPEAK LIFE
00:26:27.475 --> 00:26:29.411
AND LET THE LORD USEYOUR MOUTH TO SPEAK LIFEOVER EVERY PERSON
00:26:29.411 --> 00:26:31.513
♪
00:26:34.449 --> 00:26:41.389
♪
00:26:48.329 --> 00:26:55.236
TOMORROW, BEST-SELLING AUTHOR,CHRYSTAL EVANS HURST
00:27:02.177 --> 00:27:05.413
OPENS UP ABOUT HER PRAYERJOURNEY AFTER HER MOM DIED.
00:27:05.513 --> 00:27:08.917
- GOD, I WOULD LOVETO KNOW WHY.
00:27:09.017 --> 00:27:11.653
LIFE TODAY IS MADEPOSSIBLE BY THE SUPPORTERS OFLIFE OUTREACH INTERNATIONAL.
00:27:12.654 --> 00:27:16.057
YOUR GIFT WILL BE USEDEXCLUSIVELY FOR THE EXEMPTPURPOSES OF LIFE.
00:27:16.157 --> 00:27:19.160
THE MINISTRY FEATURESSPECIFIC OUTREACHES
00:27:19.260 --> 00:27:21.229
AS EXAMPLES OF THE PROGRAMSIT SUPPORTS AND CONDUCTS.
00:27:21.329 --> 00:27:23.298
GIFTS ARE CONSIDEREDTO BE WITHOUT RESTRICTION
00:27:23.398 --> 00:27:25.366
AS TO USE UNLESS EXPLICITLYSTIPULATED BY THE DONOR.
00:27:25.467 --> 00:27:27.502
THE MINISTRY IS A MEMBEROF THE E.C.F.A.
00:27:27.602 --> 00:27:29.010

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Kayla Stoecklein | Fear Gone Wild

Kayla Stoecklein | Fear Gone Wild

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Kayla Stoecklein | Fear Gone Wild

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