The Truth About Lonliness | TBN

The Truth About Lonliness

Watch The Truth About Lonliness
June 6, 2019
27:31

Leon Fontaine

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The Truth About Lonliness

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  • -ANNOUNCER: What would you change in your life?
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  • - What if you could unleash the miraculous in your
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  • everyday life?
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  • - Experience freedom, live in peace, change the world. Become
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  • Spirit Contemporary. Join Leon Fontaine, world renowned
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  • conference speaker, senior pastor of Canada's fastest
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  • growing church, and CEO of Canada's only Christian TV
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  • station. Today, on THE SPIRIT CONTEMPORARY LIFE.
  • 00:00:30.090 --> 00:00:35.150
  • -LEON FONTAINE: Do not allow one of his greatest tricks to
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  • walk you out of your family, to walk you out of your marriage,
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  • to you walk you out of this church because you don't quite
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  • fit. It's his greatest trick.
  • 00:00:48.010 --> 00:00:49.240
  • -ANNOUNCER: In John 10:10, it says that Jesus came to give us
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  • life, and life more abundantly. So, why is there such a
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  • disconnect between this biblical promise, and how most Christians
  • 00:00:57.160 --> 00:01:01.080
  • live today? Why have so many believers become spiritually
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  • weak, and ineffective at sharing Jesus' message of love? THE
  • 00:01:04.270 --> 00:01:09.100
  • SPIRIT CONTEMPORARY LIFE is the answer. It's being led by Holy
  • 00:01:09.110 --> 00:01:13.150
  • Spirit, but in a contemporary way. It's being Jesus and
  • 00:01:13.160 --> 00:01:17.120
  • demonstrating His love in ways people can understand and
  • 00:01:17.130 --> 00:01:20.270
  • appreciate. Spirit Contemporary is unique for everyone. It never
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  • compromises the truth, and it never makes others feel
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  • uncomfortable. It's freeing yourself from religious
  • 00:01:28.120 --> 00:01:31.020
  • constraints, and walking freely in God's amazing grace, for His
  • 00:01:31.030 --> 00:01:35.020
  • purpose. THE SPIRIT CONTEMPORARY LIFE is absolutely crucial if
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  • the global church and her people are going to change the world.
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  • - Later in the show, we'll tell you how you can reserve your
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  • copy of today's resource. Enrich your soul and renew your mind
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  • with this timely series.
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  • - And now, from Winnipeg, Canada, pastor Leon Fontaine.
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  • -LEON: Most of my life I have struggled with feeling like I
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  • don't belong. I remember as a young guy going to school, and
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  • my dad was the pastor in a small town. And, you know, just being
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  • taught that we're Christians. That, you know, that we live for
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  • Christ and then going to a school, I went to a school. It
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  • wasn't a Christian school and in fact, it was hostile towards
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  • Christians. And they found as a preacher's kid, I endured a lot
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  • of teasing, getting beat up, just stuff. It just kind of made
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  • me always feel as a kid that I just didn't fit in. I didn't
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  • just belong. I remember growing up as a teenager, that I just
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  • would go to school, sports. I was involved in all of it. But I
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  • always felt like I was on the outside looking in. Like, ah
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  • just disconnected from everybody just, you know. And there's
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  • times I'll be by myself and I would have these haunting times
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  • of loneliness, just what's different about me, why can't I
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  • just seem to fit in and be accepted. I'm not saying I
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  • wasn't accepted. I'm actually just saying these are my
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  • feelings. Loneliness in our world today is a huge issue
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  • especially in the first world. When I go to Africa, when I go
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  • to, you know, I was just in Fiji at a huge pastor's conference.
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  • When you see the people and the way they live. They'll be on the
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  • streets laughing, talking. You know, they don't have much. And
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  • the places I go to, they'll have like literally one shack will be
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  • for an entire family because they live outside. It's
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  • beautiful weather normally and they're always hanging out and
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  • being with each other. And then you come here, you walk down the
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  • street and you see all these gorgeous homes. But people
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  • walking down the street, they get their head down and they
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  • don't wanna talk to you. When they drive into their house,
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  • they push the garage button, the garage goes up. They drive in
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  • and they quickly push the garage button down in case the neighbor
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  • wants to come talk to them. The door closes behind them. They go
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  • into their backyard with the 6-foot fence where nobody can
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  • see through it and they have some quiet time by themselves.
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  • And then they wonder why they're so lonely. This is just a
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  • general feeling. And just by percentages a ton of people here
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  • today, even here you would look around going, "Ah, I don't know
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  • if I belong, I just don't feel connected here." And so this
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  • loneliness, whatever you wanna call it. A loneliness, a feeling
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  • of not belonging, a feeling of disconnection is something the
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  • whole world struggles with. Right now, much of psychology,
  • 00:04:35.240 --> 00:04:40.020
  • I'm reading some of the foremost experts in psychology and the
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  • study of the human race, and they're telling us that it is so
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  • bad out there. That a huge percentage of society even in a
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  • busy city will walk down those streets, will go to schools, to
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  • churches, will get a job and they will never feel, ever feel
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  • like they belong. They go to bed at night feeling lonely even
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  • though they're married with kids. They'll be on a sports
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  • team everybody will high five and then they still feel
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  • disconnected. They feel like I don't belong, because they often
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  • end friendships. They end their marriages. People in marriage
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  • will feel like, "I've lost that love and feeling, woo love and
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  • feeling." And so it's just a new season. I just don't feel
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  • connected anymore. I don't feel like I belong. Or in this
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  • church, you know, it was kind of okay, but I just couldn't get
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  • connected in this church. I just couldn't feel like I belong here
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  • and so, you know, I just feel left out. I just feel alone so I
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  • gotta keep looking. Can I just propose a solution? It's you.
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  • No, it's not. It's everybody else. People will tell me, "I
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  • don't have any friends because people just hurt you." I say,
  • 00:06:03.170 --> 00:06:05.210
  • "They do?" "All of them. Ah, all of them. I've had close friends,
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  • showed my heart, poured my heart at him. They tell everybody. I
  • 00:06:08.100 --> 00:06:11.200
  • tell one person, she's after my husband." And just, I heard all
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  • these excuses about how bad people are, they don't have any
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  • friends. And I'm thinking, "Well, of course, friendship
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  • hurts. You hurt your friends. They just don't get the chance
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  • to tell you because you left." Relationships take work.
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  • Relationships have different chapters. Relationships have
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  • transitions between chapters where you must speak truth in
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  • love. The people have throwaway relationships, throwaway
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  • marriages, throwaway families, throwaway churches. They just,
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  • you know, I just don't belong. And so they feel like there's
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  • always somebody else's fault. And if you don't deal with this,
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  • you'll never know the incredible joy of a good marriage. You'll
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  • never know the joy of a group of friends and a team around you,
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  • like a church or a sports team or a work team. That you ask
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  • what? You'll never know it because you haven't dealt with
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  • one of the greatest temptations the devil will ever bring your
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  • way. He came to Eve in the garden. Now get this, for all
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  • you young guys and all you young girls. Adam and Eve were like
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  • the perfect specimens. Okay? Whatever the measurements,
  • 00:07:21.280 --> 00:07:26.170
  • whatever the six-packs this -, I mean, these guys and they walked
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  • with God in the cool of the day. They were like, and God loved
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  • them. And the devil made Eve feel like she was missing
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  • something. The temptations are gonna come at you. One of the
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  • most evil and one the most destructive will be the feeling,
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  • you don't fit in, you don't belong, and people reject you or
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  • however you wanna put it in this loneliness. Now, there's a
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  • study, one of the latest biggest studies on loneliness in our
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  • society today. And here's their definition of loneliness.
  • 00:08:03.260 --> 00:08:07.110
  • Loneliness is a perceived social isolation. It doesn't say you
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  • are. It says it's perceived that your isolated. There's a social
  • 00:08:12.270 --> 00:08:17.050
  • isolation. We feel disconnected. We feel lonely. We feel like
  • 00:08:17.060 --> 00:08:23.160
  • none of the people around us are alive with a connection with us.
  • 00:08:23.170 --> 00:08:28.050
  • Now, just stare straight ahead no one will know it's you. But
  • 00:08:28.060 --> 00:08:33.220
  • the fact is everybody here feels that way. But if we don't deal
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  • with that feeling, people will give you the space you keep
  • 00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:42.170
  • wanting because you keep acting like them around them. And you
  • 00:08:42.180 --> 00:08:45.180
  • keep pushing them away because the feeling that you have, and
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  • then when relationships don't work you go, "I told you so."
  • 00:08:48.290 --> 00:08:51.120
  • You think you're a prophet. You think you're predicting the
  • 00:08:51.130 --> 00:08:55.070
  • future. Listen to me, you're creating your future. Your
  • 00:08:55.080 --> 00:09:00.150
  • stinking attitude is creating your future. Oh, no. Don't tell
  • 00:09:00.160 --> 00:09:04.050
  • me that. I know people they don't like me. I know people
  • 00:09:04.060 --> 00:09:06.050
  • they don't like me. Good Lord, 13 death threats and the blogs
  • 00:09:06.060 --> 00:09:09.250
  • and the lies and the junk that I received. I had to be a mental
  • 00:09:09.260 --> 00:09:13.070
  • case depressed. But I'm not looking to them for my sense of
  • 00:09:13.080 --> 00:09:16.110
  • belonging. People who don't deal with this feeling of isolation.
  • 00:09:16.120 --> 00:09:22.020
  • I don't belong. I don't fit in. I don't know how the enemy has
  • 00:09:22.030 --> 00:09:26.120
  • made you feel that way. If you think you're unique or you think
  • 00:09:26.130 --> 00:09:29.160
  • that no one accepts you or you're either the wrong
  • 00:09:29.170 --> 00:09:31.240
  • language, the wrong color. You weren't born perfect. Whether
  • 00:09:31.250 --> 00:09:35.240
  • there's facial features or body or whatever is going on. But
  • 00:09:35.250 --> 00:09:40.020
  • this sense of loneliness will impact every area of your life
  • 00:09:40.030 --> 00:09:45.120
  • and rarely does everybody responsible for it. It's you
  • 00:09:45.130 --> 00:09:52.020
  • that need to deal with this. And listen to me, if you don't deal
  • 00:09:52.030 --> 00:09:55.170
  • with the topic I'm gonna present to you today. It will be in the
  • 00:09:55.180 --> 00:09:58.290
  • generations of your kids. There's nothing worse than not
  • 00:09:59.000 --> 00:10:03.180
  • dealing with an issue in your own life and then watching your
  • 00:10:03.190 --> 00:10:06.270
  • kids struggle with it because you didn't deal with it
  • 00:10:06.280 --> 00:10:09.190
  • yourself. It becomes generational. In fact, it
  • 00:10:09.200 --> 00:10:13.210
  • literally says that the curse, and that I don't believe in
  • 00:10:13.220 --> 00:10:16.130
  • generational curses because Jesus broke that. But if you
  • 00:10:16.140 --> 00:10:20.120
  • look at it a different way, generational weaknesses that
  • 00:10:20.130 --> 00:10:23.230
  • parents won't deal with, you'll see them in your kids to the
  • 00:10:23.240 --> 00:10:28.000
  • third generation. And they have the power to go even further if
  • 00:10:28.010 --> 00:10:31.280
  • people don't deal with wrong thinking, wrong acting in their
  • 00:10:31.290 --> 00:10:36.040
  • lives. The Bible teaches us that the earth is the Lords. You
  • 00:10:36.050 --> 00:10:42.180
  • know, when I go into Banff, to one of this beautiful little
  • 00:10:42.190 --> 00:10:45.140
  • towns nestled in the mountains outside of Calgary and I see
  • 00:10:45.150 --> 00:10:48.180
  • this incredible rugged mountain ranges. I just go, "My dad made
  • 00:10:48.190 --> 00:10:53.160
  • that stuff. That daddy made the mountains." When I sit, stand
  • 00:10:53.170 --> 00:10:57.180
  • over a beach and I see the ocean coming in. I just go, "This is
  • 00:10:57.190 --> 00:11:01.250
  • gorgeous. My Father created this ocean." Now, that's not the way
  • 00:11:01.260 --> 00:11:04.260
  • I used to feel. Years ago, I would just sit and just stare at
  • 00:11:04.270 --> 00:11:08.100
  • those mountains and just have this haunted feeling like,
  • 00:11:08.110 --> 00:11:11.090
  • "Wow," and I go. I've watched the waves coming in, you know,
  • 00:11:11.100 --> 00:11:15.030
  • wave after wave and just feel lonely. This is that I don't fit
  • 00:11:15.040 --> 00:11:18.290
  • in, just feeling disconnected. And not even realizing that
  • 00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:23.150
  • there was a demonic plan against my life to make me disengaged,
  • 00:11:23.160 --> 00:11:27.080
  • rather than use the gifting and the calling of God had given me
  • 00:11:27.090 --> 00:11:30.020
  • and embrace a marriage, a family, a church, a ministry
  • 00:11:30.030 --> 00:11:34.030
  • that touch the world. Where I love people. I love this planet.
  • 00:11:34.040 --> 00:11:37.250
  • I love this world. I love this church. I love what God is
  • 00:11:37.260 --> 00:11:40.260
  • doing. Instead, you know, we have this disconnect. Jesus
  • 00:11:40.270 --> 00:11:44.210
  • talks about this in John 14. Here's what He says, listen to
  • 00:11:44.220 --> 00:11:47.200
  • His words. I will not leave you orphans. Orphans! What are you
  • 00:11:47.210 --> 00:11:53.160
  • talking about? Every one of His disciples had parents. They had
  • 00:11:53.170 --> 00:11:57.170
  • great families. They had wives and kids. They were fishermen
  • 00:11:57.180 --> 00:12:01.050
  • and some of them were doctors and tax collectors. There was 12
  • 00:12:01.060 --> 00:12:05.060
  • men that follow Jesus between the ages of 16-26, somewhere in
  • 00:12:05.070 --> 00:12:08.150
  • there. We knew they were. And they were following Jesus and
  • 00:12:08.160 --> 00:12:11.050
  • Jesus tells them, "I'm gonna be leaving you." They knew the
  • 00:12:11.060 --> 00:12:14.240
  • story. He was gonna die on the cross and they didn't like it.
  • 00:12:14.250 --> 00:12:18.090
  • And He said to them, I won't leave you orphans. There's
  • 00:12:18.100 --> 00:12:22.250
  • probably somebody in this room today whose an orphan. That your
  • 00:12:22.260 --> 00:12:27.010
  • parents passed away when you were young or maybe they were
  • 00:12:27.020 --> 00:12:31.240
  • going through their own messes and they gave you up. And when
  • 00:12:31.250 --> 00:12:35.220
  • you talk about an orphan's heart, that's a different thing.
  • 00:12:35.230 --> 00:12:38.270
  • Because these parents weren't gone from their lives. But, yet
  • 00:12:38.280 --> 00:12:43.090
  • He says, I won't leave you orphans. And it's a great
  • 00:12:43.100 --> 00:12:46.050
  • feeling of what I, I had great parents. I mean, you meet my mom
  • 00:12:46.060 --> 00:12:49.070
  • and dad. Oh, man! I cannot complain. Meet my brothers, my
  • 00:12:49.080 --> 00:12:54.260
  • family, the way I was raised. You know, most psychiatry would
  • 00:12:54.270 --> 00:12:58.190
  • blame everything on your mama. I can't do that. I had great
  • 00:12:58.200 --> 00:13:00.240
  • parents, great mom, great dad, great brothers. There's no
  • 00:13:00.250 --> 00:13:03.150
  • excuses. But how come I still had this orphan's heart? Where I
  • 00:13:03.160 --> 00:13:07.120
  • felt like, "Ah, I don't fit in. I don't feel connected." Because
  • 00:13:07.130 --> 00:13:10.160
  • that's the enemies greatest trick. And Jesus is saying, "How
  • 00:13:10.170 --> 00:13:14.080
  • I'm gonna help you deal with an orphan's heart, is that Holy
  • 00:13:14.090 --> 00:13:17.280
  • Spirit's gonna come and He's gonna connect you on the inside.
  • 00:13:17.290 --> 00:13:22.080
  • And this connection is gonna make you sense and feel like you
  • 00:13:22.090 --> 00:13:27.130
  • belong, sense and feel like this marriage is awesome. My family's
  • 00:13:27.140 --> 00:13:31.160
  • amazing. This church, I can't wait to get to church. Because
  • 00:13:31.170 --> 00:13:35.050
  • anytime you start moving towards, "I'm disconnected. I'm
  • 00:13:35.060 --> 00:13:38.240
  • lonely. I don't belong. There's somethings not quite right
  • 00:13:38.250 --> 00:13:42.050
  • here." Your mind is being lied to. When you study the Bible,
  • 00:13:42.060 --> 00:13:48.230
  • you'll find that Holy Spirit's job. When you give your life to
  • 00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:52.130
  • Jesus Christ, okay. His Spirit comes into your spirit and it
  • 00:13:52.140 --> 00:13:56.220
  • wakes it up. It goes, "I'm awake now." And what your spirit
  • 00:13:56.230 --> 00:14:00.120
  • produces is an incredible feeling of belonging. You get an
  • 00:14:00.130 --> 00:14:05.100
  • incredible family feel. You know, Sloane was my first
  • 00:14:05.110 --> 00:14:10.010
  • grandchild and, you know, she's four now. And when we're out
  • 00:14:10.020 --> 00:14:13.270
  • somewhere new or we're doing something. She just climbed
  • 00:14:13.280 --> 00:14:16.210
  • right into my lap and right into my arms. She just hanged on to
  • 00:14:16.220 --> 00:14:19.180
  • me. She won't even let go. And it's just like she knows that
  • 00:14:19.190 --> 00:14:23.220
  • she belongs. That I'll be there for her. That nothing's gonna
  • 00:14:23.230 --> 00:14:27.000
  • touch her when pops just got her. And there's just this
  • 00:14:27.010 --> 00:14:29.290
  • incredible feeling of belonging and she'll grab her uncles and
  • 00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:33.110
  • her aunts. When we get together as a family because, you know,
  • 00:14:33.120 --> 00:14:35.220
  • I've got five kids and they're all married and when we get
  • 00:14:35.230 --> 00:14:38.040
  • together, we party, man. It's like woo. And these grandkids,
  • 00:14:38.050 --> 00:14:42.030
  • they're just running around. They know they can jump into any
  • 00:14:42.040 --> 00:14:44.250
  • uncle's arms and any auntie's arms. They can eat off any plate
  • 00:14:44.260 --> 00:14:47.090
  • they want. They belong so greatly. They feel it they
  • 00:14:47.100 --> 00:14:50.060
  • belong. They know they belong. They know they're loved. They
  • 00:14:50.070 --> 00:14:53.100
  • know they're accepted. They know they're forgiven. There's an
  • 00:14:53.110 --> 00:14:56.100
  • incredible sense of family. God wants us all to have that in His
  • 00:14:56.110 --> 00:15:01.070
  • family. Your spirit, the Bible says in Romans chapter 8, that
  • 00:15:01.080 --> 00:15:06.070
  • when the spirit of God comes within you, that your spirit he
  • 00:15:06.080 --> 00:15:10.110
  • cries out through your spirit, "Daddy!" That's what the word
  • 00:15:10.120 --> 00:15:14.020
  • Abba, Father, means Dad! The enemy is the one who wants to
  • 00:15:14.030 --> 00:15:20.100
  • make you feel like you don't fit. You know, I read a lot. I
  • 00:15:20.110 --> 00:15:26.250
  • average about a book a day. Sometimes more, sometimes less.
  • 00:15:26.260 --> 00:15:29.060
  • And I'm always studying and preparing to teach whether I'm
  • 00:15:29.070 --> 00:15:32.060
  • here. I gotta teach about seven messages a week and most of the
  • 00:15:32.070 --> 00:15:34.180
  • time more. Whether it's on TV or business or church and so I love
  • 00:15:34.190 --> 00:15:38.090
  • to read. And when you're reading, you see people trying
  • 00:15:38.100 --> 00:15:41.130
  • to think through things, like I read a number of authors who are
  • 00:15:41.140 --> 00:15:45.090
  • experts on loneliness and disconnection. Experts on
  • 00:15:45.100 --> 00:15:48.240
  • feeling like they don't, people don't belong. And their answer
  • 00:15:48.250 --> 00:15:52.220
  • is accept it, nobody feels like they belong. Get used to it.
  • 00:15:52.230 --> 00:15:56.130
  • When you finally accept you're never gonna feel like you belong
  • 00:15:56.140 --> 00:15:59.190
  • anywhere, then you'll start being able to deal with it. But
  • 00:15:59.200 --> 00:16:04.090
  • I thought that's not biblically true. There's an incredible
  • 00:16:04.100 --> 00:16:09.210
  • portion of scripture in Ephesians chapter 2. Listen to
  • 00:16:09.220 --> 00:16:12.180
  • this, and it talks about verse 19, it says, "Now, therefore,
  • 00:16:12.190 --> 00:16:19.090
  • you are no longer strangers, no longer foreigners." You know,
  • 00:16:19.100 --> 00:16:27.120
  • we've got a beautiful expression of different languages and skin
  • 00:16:27.130 --> 00:16:31.120
  • colors in this place. And so some feel like they belong, some
  • 00:16:31.130 --> 00:16:36.040
  • feel like they're a foreigner, some feel like, you know, when
  • 00:16:36.050 --> 00:16:39.000
  • it comes to God's house there are no strangers. There are no
  • 00:16:39.010 --> 00:16:44.220
  • foreigners. We are family. And when the enemy tries to make us
  • 00:16:44.230 --> 00:16:48.220
  • feel like we're disconnected, feel like we don't fit in. There
  • 00:16:48.230 --> 00:16:51.200
  • are people here who are different skin colors. They'll
  • 00:16:51.210 --> 00:16:53.290
  • feel disconnected. There somebody here who's just gotten
  • 00:16:54.000 --> 00:16:56.230
  • divorced. Now, they're single and their friendship circle is
  • 00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:59.270
  • changing, and they feel disconnected because they're
  • 00:16:59.280 --> 00:17:02.080
  • single. There's others who are here, and the list goes on.
  • 00:17:02.090 --> 00:17:05.130
  • There's a huge list as to why people feel disconnected. Why
  • 00:17:05.140 --> 00:17:10.200
  • they feel like they don't fit in. And the apostle Paul is
  • 00:17:10.210 --> 00:17:14.000
  • teaching us, you are no longer strangers. You are no longer
  • 00:17:14.010 --> 00:17:17.170
  • foreigners. You are fellow citizens with the saints. You're
  • 00:17:17.180 --> 00:17:20.250
  • at God's house. We are family. And when the enemy tries to make
  • 00:17:20.260 --> 00:17:24.240
  • you feel like you're not. You are being set up. He is playing
  • 00:17:24.250 --> 00:17:29.280
  • mind games with you. Stop allowing this incredibly
  • 00:17:29.290 --> 00:17:34.020
  • horrible destructive feeling of, I don't feel like I belong. I
  • 00:17:34.030 --> 00:17:38.230
  • don't connect. And say, "Well, you know." I heard women say, "I
  • 00:17:38.240 --> 00:17:41.030
  • just don't get along with other women." Really? "You know, I'm a
  • 00:17:41.040 --> 00:17:46.170
  • guy but, you know, I just prefer being alone. People just hurt
  • 00:17:46.180 --> 00:17:50.030
  • you." Of course, they do. You hurt people. If you want your
  • 00:17:50.040 --> 00:17:55.000
  • relationship to grow, speak truth in love. Make sure that
  • 00:17:55.010 --> 00:17:58.180
  • you go from one chapter to the next, from one season to the
  • 00:17:58.190 --> 00:18:01.100
  • next. But do not, do not allow one of his greatest tricks to
  • 00:18:01.110 --> 00:18:05.240
  • walk you out of your family, to walk you out of your marriage,
  • 00:18:05.250 --> 00:18:08.130
  • to walk you out of this church, because you don't quite fit.
  • 00:18:08.140 --> 00:18:11.240
  • It's his greatest trick. And I'm challenging you today. My
  • 00:18:11.250 --> 00:18:15.210
  • purpose in this message is for you to go throw out that and
  • 00:18:15.220 --> 00:18:19.230
  • just go, "I'm giving myself permission today to belong." Do
  • 00:18:19.240 --> 00:18:25.140
  • you know how amazing it feels to know that you belong, to sense
  • 00:18:25.150 --> 00:18:29.080
  • you belong, to decide, to feel, like you belong? If you don't
  • 00:18:29.090 --> 00:18:34.040
  • decide this, you'll never feel like it. I often talk about my
  • 00:18:34.050 --> 00:18:37.290
  • wife and say, you know, if Sally -, Let's say that God measured
  • 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:43.040
  • every couples love, and let's say that my wife is in love with
  • 00:18:43.050 --> 00:18:48.120
  • me. I mean, at an incredibly high level she's in love with
  • 00:18:48.130 --> 00:18:52.020
  • me. But I don't believe it. And she goes, "Baby, I love you."
  • 00:18:52.030 --> 00:18:57.080
  • Yeah, right. Am I gonna be able to enjoy her love even though
  • 00:18:57.090 --> 00:19:02.040
  • it's real? No. If you ask me the question, does she really love
  • 00:19:02.050 --> 00:19:06.160
  • me? Absolutely! Do I believe it? No. So, do I get what is real or
  • 00:19:06.170 --> 00:19:12.030
  • do I get what I believe? I get what I believe. I feel what I
  • 00:19:12.040 --> 00:19:21.230
  • believe. She really loves me. I mean, we've been married for 33
  • 00:19:21.240 --> 00:19:25.150
  • years. God Lord! Then she must! But if I don't believe it, I
  • 00:19:25.160 --> 00:19:29.290
  • won't feel it. If I don't believe it or feel it, then it's
  • 00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:32.290
  • just not there in my mind, yet it is. I was chatting with a
  • 00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:37.080
  • married couple the other today. They were struggling, and I
  • 00:19:37.090 --> 00:19:39.140
  • finally told one of them. I said, you know, I said, he loves
  • 00:19:39.150 --> 00:19:43.250
  • you more than you love yourself. That's your problem. "Excuse
  • 00:19:43.260 --> 00:19:49.060
  • me?" I said, "You don't think he loves you. But he loves you more
  • 00:19:49.070 --> 00:19:53.110
  • than you love yourself. Because you can't accept love beyond how
  • 00:19:53.120 --> 00:19:55.280
  • much you love yourself. Your measurement of how much love you
  • 00:19:55.290 --> 00:19:58.280
  • can receive in a relationship isn't tied to how much that
  • 00:19:58.290 --> 00:20:01.140
  • person gives you. It's tied to how much you love yourself. And
  • 00:20:01.150 --> 00:20:06.010
  • if you don't value yourself, the level that you can love yourself
  • 00:20:06.020 --> 00:20:10.070
  • is all the love you'll know how to receive from anyone that
  • 00:20:10.080 --> 00:20:13.040
  • loves you. Which means you push away your spouse. You push away
  • 00:20:13.050 --> 00:20:16.200
  • your kids. You will find critical problems everywhere
  • 00:20:16.210 --> 00:20:19.210
  • because you don't know how to handle this. Everyone is in love
  • 00:20:19.220 --> 00:20:22.040
  • with you and you're doubting the love because you don't even love
  • 00:20:22.050 --> 00:20:24.070
  • you. You don't like you. You don't like this about you, that
  • 00:20:24.080 --> 00:20:26.170
  • about you. So when anyone really loves you, you know they're
  • 00:20:26.180 --> 00:20:28.290
  • faking it. I'm helping somebody. It's so quiet in here. I know
  • 00:20:29.000 --> 00:20:35.010
  • I'm helping somebody. You need to, the Bible, Jesus gave us two
  • 00:20:35.020 --> 00:20:39.030
  • commandments. Love the Lord your God with all your strength, all
  • 00:20:39.040 --> 00:20:41.170
  • your power, all your might. And it says, love your neighbor as
  • 00:20:41.180 --> 00:20:47.250
  • yourself. It's not about you and some person that you're gonna
  • 00:20:47.260 --> 00:20:51.270
  • meet. It's between you and God. God gets me. I don't look to my
  • 00:20:51.280 --> 00:20:55.010
  • wife Sally for my sense of belonging. What a mistake,
  • 00:20:55.020 --> 00:21:00.170
  • because if we're working through a marriage issue, I feel like I
  • 00:21:00.180 --> 00:21:02.240
  • don't belong. I don't look to you guys as a congregation and
  • 00:21:02.250 --> 00:21:07.130
  • I'm your pastor and I love you all. I love you, man. I mean, 23
  • 00:21:07.140 --> 00:21:11.060
  • years I've been here. I've been here another 80 just, boy, I
  • 00:21:11.070 --> 00:21:14.090
  • want to help people. I want to raise people up. But I don't
  • 00:21:14.100 --> 00:21:17.070
  • look to you for my belonging. So that if you like me, I belong.
  • 00:21:17.080 --> 00:21:28.060
  • Everyone's got their arms crossed. I don't feel
  • 00:21:28.070 --> 00:21:30.080
  • like I belong. I don't feel like I'm
  • 00:21:30.090 --> 00:21:31.140
  • accepted. I'm feeling mighty lonely right
  • 00:21:31.150 --> 00:21:33.110
  • now. See, I don't hand anybody, I keep that between me
  • 00:21:33.120 --> 00:21:36.230
  • and God. And then when God gives me the sense of love and of
  • 00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:40.150
  • belonging and of significance. Now, I can love others. I don't
  • 00:21:40.160 --> 00:21:44.210
  • need my wife. "What did you say? Is she listening at you?" She's
  • 00:21:44.220 --> 00:21:50.200
  • listening right now. I don't need her. I want her, so much
  • 00:21:50.210 --> 00:21:56.130
  • higher level of love. I'm challenging you today just
  • 00:21:56.140 --> 00:22:01.140
  • recognize this one symptom. And every time you begin to move
  • 00:22:01.150 --> 00:22:06.260
  • toward lonely, disconnected, I don't belong. You're being set
  • 00:22:06.270 --> 00:22:12.130
  • up by the enemy. It's a mind game. And begin to go back, get
  • 00:22:12.140 --> 00:22:15.240
  • into your Bible, begin to pray, get out to church and begin to
  • 00:22:15.250 --> 00:22:18.240
  • recognize that this is just my head. It's my stupid thinking. I
  • 00:22:18.250 --> 00:22:23.210
  • need a checkup from the neck up. I need to renew my mind. I give
  • 00:22:23.220 --> 00:22:31.080
  • you permission today to belong God's family, this family. You
  • 00:22:31.090 --> 00:22:38.020
  • need to give yourself permission to laugh, to enjoy people. And
  • 00:22:38.030 --> 00:22:42.200
  • every time your brain goes, "I don't belong." Just, ah shut up.
  • 00:22:42.210 --> 00:22:46.250
  • Back on to Jesus says. Every time, I don't quite fit in. So
  • 00:22:46.260 --> 00:22:51.050
  • and so give me a dirty look or strange look or whatever. You
  • 00:22:51.060 --> 00:22:53.260
  • just, "No, I'm not accepting that." You don't know what's in
  • 00:22:53.270 --> 00:22:56.280
  • that person's mind anyway. This guy walked into a bar, and I was
  • 00:22:56.290 --> 00:23:00.220
  • a paramedic back then. And he eyeballed this guy and this guy
  • 00:23:00.230 --> 00:23:04.020
  • felt like, so he accosted this guy that just walked in and he
  • 00:23:04.030 --> 00:23:07.130
  • goes, "You think you're better than me, huh?" What's with you?
  • 00:23:07.140 --> 00:23:10.090
  • Eyeballing me dude. Come on! And it just got heated back and
  • 00:23:10.100 --> 00:23:13.040
  • forth, back and forth, back and forth, 'til finally they went at
  • 00:23:13.050 --> 00:23:15.110
  • it. When the dust got settled and the police investigated. Do
  • 00:23:15.120 --> 00:23:18.250
  • you know why the guy was staring at him? He was looking at new
  • 00:23:18.260 --> 00:23:23.060
  • glass frames for his glasses. He's walking in the bar and this
  • 00:23:23.070 --> 00:23:27.210
  • dude had a really cool looking pair. So he's walking in and he
  • 00:23:27.220 --> 00:23:30.160
  • sees, "That's a cool looking pair of glasses." That's what
  • 00:23:30.170 --> 00:23:32.160
  • he's thinking on the inside of him. That's a cool, that's a
  • 00:23:32.170 --> 00:23:34.160
  • good looking, that dude looks cool with his glasses. I want a
  • 00:23:34.170 --> 00:23:36.160
  • pair of that glasses." And this guy his thinking going, "He
  • 00:23:36.170 --> 00:23:38.170
  • thinks he's better than me. He thinks he's stronger than me.
  • 00:23:38.180 --> 00:23:40.170
  • He's eyeballing me. He's putting me down." You can't judge
  • 00:23:40.180 --> 00:23:44.050
  • somebody else's intentions. You can't judge their motives. When
  • 00:23:44.060 --> 00:23:48.070
  • you do, you always make it negative. No one walks into a
  • 00:23:48.080 --> 00:23:53.030
  • bar and goes, "Oh, he likes my glasses. Everyone likes my
  • 00:23:53.040 --> 00:23:55.030
  • glasses." Like, who thinks that? You always go negative. Stop it!
  • 00:23:55.040 --> 00:24:01.160
  • Get permission to live! Get permission to belong! Get
  • 00:24:01.170 --> 00:24:04.070
  • permission to love! Get permission to feel! Stop feeling
  • 00:24:04.080 --> 00:24:06.130
  • lonely and get out and make friends. They are imperfect.
  • 00:24:06.140 --> 00:24:10.070
  • So are you!
  • 00:24:10.080 --> 00:24:11.100
  • [Segment Music]
  • 00:24:14.230 --> 00:24:17.060
  • -ANNOUNCER: God wants to bless you. You are His child. He
  • 00:24:22.250 --> 00:24:27.270
  • designed you to be abundantly blessed in all areas, such as
  • 00:24:27.280 --> 00:24:31.200
  • relationships, health, emotions, and finances. Unfortunately,
  • 00:24:31.210 --> 00:24:36.010
  • Christians often think God isn't concerned with their prosperity.
  • 00:24:36.020 --> 00:24:39.250
  • But that's a lie of the enemy. The truth is, God wants you
  • 00:24:39.260 --> 00:24:44.160
  • blessed in every area of life. And provision is a vital part of
  • 00:24:44.170 --> 00:24:48.240
  • His will. Out of our abundance, we can bless others. God is
  • 00:24:48.250 --> 00:24:54.250
  • totally in love with you, and He truly wants the best for you. He
  • 00:24:54.260 --> 00:24:59.040
  • wants to equip you to advance His kingdom here on earth. It's
  • 00:24:59.050 --> 00:25:02.290
  • time to recognize God's supernatural power at work
  • 00:25:03.000 --> 00:25:06.200
  • within you, for your finances. Call now, to request this
  • 00:25:06.210 --> 00:25:12.150
  • series, and begin to step into God's financial blessings for
  • 00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:15.170
  • your life, starting today.
  • 00:25:15.180 --> 00:25:17.270
  • [Segment Music]
  • 00:25:20.010 --> 00:25:22.050
  • -LEON: One of the things we all struggle with, is feeling
  • 00:25:26.110 --> 00:25:29.140
  • lonely. You know, feeling lonely is different than being alone.
  • 00:25:29.150 --> 00:25:34.150
  • Aloneness is okay. In fact, every one of us enjoys a certain
  • 00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:40.050
  • amount of time of being alone. Now, when you are alone, you
  • 00:25:40.060 --> 00:25:44.240
  • still have God. You have reading time, meditation time, you know,
  • 00:25:44.250 --> 00:25:49.100
  • nap time. And so a lot of times being alone doesn't mean you
  • 00:25:49.110 --> 00:25:52.290
  • should be lonely. Now, I know people who have tons of people
  • 00:25:53.000 --> 00:25:56.130
  • around them all the time and the people around them, still they
  • 00:25:56.140 --> 00:26:00.150
  • feel lonely. And so, I wanna encourage you today, that if the
  • 00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:05.040
  • enemy has used loneliness to haunt you, that don't let him do
  • 00:26:05.050 --> 00:26:09.110
  • that. The Bible says there is a friend that sticks closer than a
  • 00:26:09.120 --> 00:26:12.290
  • brother. It's Jesus. And also remember this, when you're
  • 00:26:13.000 --> 00:26:17.010
  • alone, you should learn to enjoy it. When you're with people,
  • 00:26:17.020 --> 00:26:20.060
  • engage. Don't let the enemy to make you feel rejected. Don't
  • 00:26:20.070 --> 00:26:24.270
  • let him make you feel that you don't fit in. Step up. Reach out
  • 00:26:24.280 --> 00:26:30.050
  • to people. The Bible say if you want friends, show yourself
  • 00:26:30.060 --> 00:26:33.000
  • friendly. But do not allow loneliness to haunt you every
  • 00:26:33.010 --> 00:26:36.240
  • day of your life. Father, touch them. I pray right now, let them
  • 00:26:36.250 --> 00:26:40.240
  • be aware of Your presence always with them. And that wherever
  • 00:26:40.250 --> 00:26:45.100
  • they are, angels fill the atmosphere because they're
  • 00:26:45.110 --> 00:26:48.250
  • encamped around about them. I pray this in Your
  • 00:26:48.260 --> 00:26:50.280
  • wonderful name, amen.
  • 00:26:50.290 --> 00:26:52.240
  • -ANNOUNCER: It's no accident that you watched today's show.
  • 00:26:54.220 --> 00:26:57.070
  • You are special, and you have a destiny to fulfill. Our media
  • 00:26:57.080 --> 00:27:01.150
  • ministry reaches some of the darkest corners of the world,
  • 00:27:01.160 --> 00:27:04.080
  • and your support is what makes this possible week after week.
  • 00:27:04.090 --> 00:27:08.260
  • You are vital, you can change a life. Act today. And remember,
  • 00:27:08.270 --> 00:27:14.030
  • this amazing resource will be yours as our way of saying
  • 00:27:14.040 --> 00:27:17.090
  • thank you.
  • 00:27:17.100 --> 00:27:18.010
  • [Closing Theme Music]
  • 00:27:18.020 --> 00:27:19.280
  • Closed Captioned by MGD: The Miracle Channel Association
  • 00:27:22.120 --> 00:27:24.140