The Difference: Dr. Emerson Eggerichs | Love Respect and Reason | TBN

The Difference: Dr. Emerson Eggerichs | Love Respect and Reason

Watch The Difference: Dr. Emerson Eggerichs | Love Respect and Reason
July 17, 2020
27:29

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The Difference: Dr. Emerson Eggerichs | Love Respect and Reason

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  • ♪ MUSIC ♪
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  • ♪ MUSIC ♪KENDAL HAGEE: WE HAVE
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  • KENDAL HAGEE: WE HAVEA GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TODAY.
  • 00:00:28.255 --> 00:00:29.123
  • A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TODAY.ON TODAY'S SHOW,
  • 00:00:29.123 --> 00:00:30.458
  • ON TODAY'S SHOW,WE ARE DISCUSSING THE VERY
  • 00:00:30.458 --> 00:00:31.826
  • WE ARE DISCUSSING THE VERYIMPORTANT TOPIC OF
  • 00:00:31.826 --> 00:00:33.094
  • IMPORTANT TOPIC OF"LOVE AND RESPECT"
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  • "LOVE AND RESPECT"IN YOUR MARRIAGE
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  • IN YOUR MARRIAGEAND IN YOUR FAMILIES.
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  • AND IN YOUR FAMILIES.MATT HAGEE: AND KENDAL AND I
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  • MATT HAGEE: AND KENDAL AND IARE EXCITED TO HAVE OUR GUEST,
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  • ARE EXCITED TO HAVE OUR GUEST,DR. EMERSON EGGERICHS.
  • 00:00:38.599 --> 00:00:39.300
  • DR. EMERSON EGGERICHS.DR. EGGERICHS,
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  • DR. EGGERICHS,GREAT TO HAVE YOU HERE WITH US.
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  • GREAT TO HAVE YOU HERE WITH US.THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING
  • 00:00:41.569 --> 00:00:41.969
  • THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOININGUS.
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  • US.DR. EGGERICHS: THANK YOU.
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  • DR. EGGERICHS: THANK YOU.MATT HAGEE: FOR THOSE OF YOU
  • 00:00:43.237 --> 00:00:44.205
  • MATT HAGEE: FOR THOSE OF YOUWHO MAY NOT KNOW,
  • 00:00:44.205 --> 00:00:45.239
  • WHO MAY NOT KNOW,DR. EGGERICHS IS A █ NEW YORK
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  • DR. EGGERICHS IS A █ NEW YORKTIMES BEST-SELLING AUTHOR
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  • TIMES BEST-SELLING AUTHOROF THE BOOK "LOVE AND RESPECT,"
  • 00:00:48.242 --> 00:00:50.010
  • OF THE BOOK "LOVE AND RESPECT,"PLATINUM BOOK AWARD WINNER,
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  • PLATINUM BOOK AWARD WINNER,WHICH MEANS IT'S THE BOOK
  • 00:00:50.878 --> 00:00:51.312
  • WHICH MEANS IT'S THE BOOKOF THE YEAR.
  • 00:00:51.312 --> 00:00:53.347
  • OF THE YEAR.OVER 1.6 MILLION COPIES SOLD.
  • 00:00:53.347 --> 00:00:54.849
  • OVER 1.6 MILLION COPIES SOLD.SO NEEDLESS TO SAY,
  • 00:00:54.849 --> 00:00:56.183
  • SO NEEDLESS TO SAY,WE HAVE AN EXPERT
  • 00:00:56.183 --> 00:00:58.586
  • WE HAVE AN EXPERTON RELATIONSHIPS IN THE HOUSE,
  • 00:00:58.586 --> 00:00:59.386
  • ON RELATIONSHIPS IN THE HOUSE,AND WE'RE HERE TO HAVE THE
  • 00:00:59.386 --> 00:01:01.021
  • AND WE'RE HERE TO HAVE THEOPPORTUNITY TO DISCUSS WITH HIM
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  • OPPORTUNITY TO DISCUSS WITH HIMTHIS VERY IMPORTANT TOPIC
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  • THIS VERY IMPORTANT TOPICOF "LOVE AND RESPECT,"
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  • OF "LOVE AND RESPECT,"COMMON WORDS,
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  • COMMON WORDS,BUT REALLY UNCOMMON TRAITS
  • 00:01:06.694 --> 00:01:08.095
  • BUT REALLY UNCOMMON TRAITSIN RELATIONSHIPS.
  • 00:01:08.095 --> 00:01:09.463
  • IN RELATIONSHIPS.TELL US WHAT IT IS ABOUT THIS
  • 00:01:09.463 --> 00:01:10.798
  • TELL US WHAT IT IS ABOUT THISTOPIC THAT HAS STRUCK A CORD
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  • TOPIC THAT HAS STRUCK A CORDWITH SO MANY PEOPLE.
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  • WITH SO MANY PEOPLE.DR. EGGERICHS: WELL,
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  • DR. EGGERICHS: WELL,I PASTORED FOR MANY YEARS
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  • I PASTORED FOR MANY YEARSAND SO I TAUGHT THE BIBLE.
  • 00:01:15.002 --> 00:01:15.736
  • AND SO I TAUGHT THE BIBLE.AND IT ACTUALLY COMES OUT
  • 00:01:15.736 --> 00:01:17.271
  • AND IT ACTUALLY COMES OUTOF EPHESIANS 5:33,
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  • OF EPHESIANS 5:33,WHICH IS THE SUMMARY STATEMENT
  • 00:01:19.306 --> 00:01:20.841
  • WHICH IS THE SUMMARY STATEMENTTO THE GREATEST TREATISE ON
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  • TO THE GREATEST TREATISE ONMARRIAGE IN THE NEW TESTAMENT
  • 00:01:21.976 --> 00:01:23.110
  • MARRIAGE IN THE NEW TESTAMENTWHERE IT SAYS, "A HUSBAND MUST
  • 00:01:23.110 --> 00:01:24.778
  • WHERE IT SAYS, "A HUSBAND MUSTLOVE HIS WIFE AND A WIFE MUST
  • 00:01:24.778 --> 00:01:26.480
  • LOVE HIS WIFE AND A WIFE MUSTRESPECT HER HUSBAND."
  • 00:01:26.480 --> 00:01:27.781
  • RESPECT HER HUSBAND."AND THE CONTROVERSY THOUGH
  • 00:01:27.781 --> 00:01:28.716
  • AND THE CONTROVERSY THOUGHIS ON THAT SECOND PART.
  • 00:01:28.716 --> 00:01:29.450
  • IS ON THAT SECOND PART.AND WE CAN ADDRESS THAT
  • 00:01:29.450 --> 00:01:30.151
  • AND WE CAN ADDRESS THATIN JUST A MOMENT.
  • 00:01:30.151 --> 00:01:31.352
  • IN JUST A MOMENT.BUT AS I WAS MEDITATING,
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  • BUT AS I WAS MEDITATING,I SAW A CONNECTION
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  • I SAW A CONNECTIONTHAT WHEN SARAH, MY WIFE --
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  • THAT WHEN SARAH, MY WIFE --WE'VE BEEN MARRIED 45 YEARS.
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  • WE'VE BEEN MARRIED 45 YEARS.-- FEELS UNLOVED,
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  • -- FEELS UNLOVED,SHE TENDS TO REACT IN A WAY
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  • SHE TENDS TO REACT IN A WAYTHAT FEELS DISRESPECTFUL.
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  • THAT FEELS DISRESPECTFUL.I KNOW SHE LOVES ME,
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  • I KNOW SHE LOVES ME,BUT I DON'T THINK SHE LIKES ME
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  • BUT I DON'T THINK SHE LIKES MEAT THAT MOMENT.
  • 00:01:42.029 --> 00:01:43.664
  • AT THAT MOMENT.AND SHE CAN LOOK AT ME
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  • AND SHE CAN LOOK AT MEAND I FEEL DISRESPECTED.
  • 00:01:45.599 --> 00:01:46.767
  • AND I FEEL DISRESPECTED.AND WHEN I FEEL DISRESPECTED,
  • 00:01:46.767 --> 00:01:48.269
  • AND WHEN I FEEL DISRESPECTED,I HAVE A TENDENCY TO REACT IN A
  • 00:01:48.269 --> 00:01:50.171
  • I HAVE A TENDENCY TO REACT IN AWAY THAT FEELS UNLOVING TO HER.
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  • WAY THAT FEELS UNLOVING TO HER.AND THOUGH WE BOTH NEED LOVE
  • 00:01:51.138 --> 00:01:52.006
  • AND THOUGH WE BOTH NEED LOVEAND RESPECT EQUALLY,
  • 00:01:52.006 --> 00:01:53.140
  • AND RESPECT EQUALLY,WE'VE ASKED 7.000 PEOPLE
  • 00:01:53.140 --> 00:01:54.275
  • WE'VE ASKED 7.000 PEOPLETHIS QUESTION; WHEN YOU'RE
  • 00:01:54.275 --> 00:01:55.943
  • THIS QUESTION; WHEN YOU'REIN A CONFLICT WITH YOUR SPOUSE,
  • 00:01:55.943 --> 00:01:56.677
  • IN A CONFLICT WITH YOUR SPOUSE,DO YOU FEEL UNLOVED
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  • DO YOU FEEL UNLOVEDAT THAT MOMENT OR DISRESPECTED?
  • 00:01:58.312 --> 00:01:59.914
  • AT THAT MOMENT OR DISRESPECTED?AND 83% OF THE MEN, MATT,
  • 00:01:59.914 --> 00:02:01.482
  • AND 83% OF THE MEN, MATT,SAY THEY FEEL DISRESPECTED,
  • 00:02:01.482 --> 00:02:02.950
  • SAY THEY FEEL DISRESPECTED,BECAUSE WE KNOW SHE LOVES US.
  • 00:02:02.950 --> 00:02:03.617
  • BECAUSE WE KNOW SHE LOVES US.WE JUST DON'T THINK
  • 00:02:03.617 --> 00:02:04.485
  • WE JUST DON'T THINKSHE LIKES US.
  • 00:02:04.485 --> 00:02:05.119
  • SHE LIKES US.MATT HAGEE: WELL,
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  • MATT HAGEE: WELL,AND THAT'S A VERY SIMPLE
  • 00:02:06.654 --> 00:02:07.821
  • AND THAT'S A VERY SIMPLEAND PROFOUND STATEMENT THAT,
  • 00:02:07.821 --> 00:02:08.389
  • AND PROFOUND STATEMENT THAT,YOU KNOW,
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  • YOU KNOW,I THINK A LOT OF COUPLES WOULD
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  • I THINK A LOT OF COUPLES WOULDDESCRIBE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS
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  • DESCRIBE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPSTO EVOLVE TO THAT POINT.
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  • TO EVOLVE TO THAT POINT.OH, I KNOW SHE LOVES ME.
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  • OH, I KNOW SHE LOVES ME.SHE'S LOVED ME FOR YEARS,
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  • SHE'S LOVED ME FOR YEARS,BUT I DON'T THINK SHE'S LIKED
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  • BUT I DON'T THINK SHE'S LIKEDME FOR A LONG TIME; YOU KNOW?
  • 00:02:18.199 --> 00:02:19.133
  • ME FOR A LONG TIME; YOU KNOW?AND IT'S NOT REALLY A MATTER
  • 00:02:19.133 --> 00:02:20.067
  • AND IT'S NOT REALLY A MATTEROF LIKE, DISLIKE;
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  • OF LIKE, DISLIKE;IT'S A MATTER OF THIS RESPECT
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  • IT'S A MATTER OF THIS RESPECTISSUE THAT, YOU KNOW,
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  • ISSUE THAT, YOU KNOW,NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED FROM
  • 00:02:24.205 --> 00:02:26.106
  • NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED FROMA VERY CLEAR UNDERSTANDING.
  • 00:02:26.106 --> 00:02:27.208
  • A VERY CLEAR UNDERSTANDING.AND I THINK IT'S THE LACK
  • 00:02:27.208 --> 00:02:28.342
  • AND I THINK IT'S THE LACKOF UNDERSTANDING THAT CAUSES
  • 00:02:28.342 --> 00:02:29.476
  • OF UNDERSTANDING THAT CAUSESPEOPLE THAT CONFLICT.
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  • PEOPLE THAT CONFLICT.DR. EGGERICHS: YES,
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  • DR. EGGERICHS: YES,AND ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THE CODE
  • 00:02:31.045 --> 00:02:32.580
  • AND ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THE CODEOF RESPECT MUST BE EARNED.
  • 00:02:32.580 --> 00:02:33.447
  • OF RESPECT MUST BE EARNED.AND WOMEN AREN'T TRYING TO BE
  • 00:02:33.447 --> 00:02:33.981
  • AND WOMEN AREN'T TRYING TO BEMEAN SPIRITED.
  • 00:02:33.981 --> 00:02:34.915
  • MEAN SPIRITED.THEY'RE ACTUALLY REACTING
  • 00:02:34.915 --> 00:02:35.549
  • THEY'RE ACTUALLY REACTINGBECAUSE THEY'RE TRYING TO
  • 00:02:35.549 --> 00:02:37.218
  • BECAUSE THEY'RE TRYING TOAWAKEN HIM TO THE HURT
  • 00:02:37.218 --> 00:02:38.252
  • AWAKEN HIM TO THE HURTOR HIS INSENSITIVITY.
  • 00:02:38.252 --> 00:02:39.653
  • OR HIS INSENSITIVITY.SO HER MISSION IS ALWAYS
  • 00:02:39.653 --> 00:02:40.721
  • SO HER MISSION IS ALWAYSGOOD WILLED.
  • 00:02:40.721 --> 00:02:42.056
  • GOOD WILLED.BUT SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND YOU
  • 00:02:42.056 --> 00:02:44.124
  • BUT SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND YOUAND I SERVE AND DIE FOR HONOR.
  • 00:02:44.124 --> 00:02:46.293
  • AND I SERVE AND DIE FOR HONOR.AND WHEN WE FEEL DISHONORED,
  • 00:02:46.293 --> 00:02:47.895
  • AND WHEN WE FEEL DISHONORED,WE ARE VERY VULNERABLE TO THAT.
  • 00:02:47.895 --> 00:02:49.663
  • WE ARE VERY VULNERABLE TO THAT.SO THIS DISLIKE,
  • 00:02:49.663 --> 00:02:50.497
  • SO THIS DISLIKE,AND HERE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU
  • 00:02:50.497 --> 00:02:51.899
  • AND HERE I WOULD DIE FOR YOUIF YOU DON'T KILL ME FIRST,
  • 00:02:51.899 --> 00:02:53.267
  • IF YOU DON'T KILL ME FIRST,I WOULD DIE FOR YOU,
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  • I WOULD DIE FOR YOU,I'M AN HONORABLE MAN.
  • 00:02:54.101 --> 00:02:55.269
  • I'M AN HONORABLE MAN.I'M NOT AS SENSITIVE OR LOVING
  • 00:02:55.269 --> 00:02:55.936
  • I'M NOT AS SENSITIVE OR LOVINGAS YOU.
  • 00:02:55.936 --> 00:02:57.104
  • AS YOU.BUT SOMEHOW I GET THIS FEELING
  • 00:02:57.104 --> 00:02:59.273
  • BUT SOMEHOW I GET THIS FEELINGTHAT YOU REALLY KIND OF DON'T
  • 00:02:59.273 --> 00:03:01.508
  • THAT YOU REALLY KIND OF DON'TRESPECT WHO I AM AS A PERSON.
  • 00:03:01.508 --> 00:03:02.009
  • RESPECT WHO I AM AS A PERSON.AND OF COURSE,
  • 00:03:02.009 --> 00:03:03.010
  • AND OF COURSE,THEN WE REACT TO THAT
  • 00:03:03.010 --> 00:03:03.677
  • THEN WE REACT TO THATBY SHUTTING DOWN.
  • 00:03:03.677 --> 00:03:04.578
  • BY SHUTTING DOWN.EIGHTY-FIVE PERCENT OF THOSE
  • 00:03:04.578 --> 00:03:06.146
  • EIGHTY-FIVE PERCENT OF THOSEWHO STONE WALL IS THE MAN.
  • 00:03:06.146 --> 00:03:06.847
  • WHO STONE WALL IS THE MAN.KENDAL HAGEE: THE MAN'S CAVE.
  • 00:03:06.847 --> 00:03:07.414
  • KENDAL HAGEE: THE MAN'S CAVE.DR. EGGERICHS: YES, EXACTLY.
  • 00:03:07.414 --> 00:03:08.182
  • DR. EGGERICHS: YES, EXACTLY.AND SO NOW WE GET ON WHAT
  • 00:03:08.182 --> 00:03:09.283
  • AND SO NOW WE GET ON WHATI CALL "THE CRAZY CYCLE."
  • 00:03:09.283 --> 00:03:09.783
  • I CALL "THE CRAZY CYCLE."WITHOUT LOVE,
  • 00:03:09.783 --> 00:03:11.285
  • WITHOUT LOVE,SHE REACTS WITHOUT RESPECT.
  • 00:03:11.285 --> 00:03:11.852
  • SHE REACTS WITHOUT RESPECT.WITHOUT RESPECT,
  • 00:03:11.852 --> 00:03:12.820
  • WITHOUT RESPECT,HE REACTS WITHOUT LOVE.
  • 00:03:12.820 --> 00:03:14.255
  • HE REACTS WITHOUT LOVE.AND THIS STARTS SPINNING
  • 00:03:14.255 --> 00:03:15.589
  • AND THIS STARTS SPINNINGAMONG COUPLES OF GOOD WILL.
  • 00:03:15.589 --> 00:03:16.323
  • AMONG COUPLES OF GOOD WILL.YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE
  • 00:03:16.323 --> 00:03:17.925
  • YOU DON'T HAVE TO BEAN ILL-WILLED PERSON.
  • 00:03:17.925 --> 00:03:18.592
  • AN ILL-WILLED PERSON.YOU CAN BE FILLED
  • 00:03:18.592 --> 00:03:19.093
  • YOU CAN BE FILLEDWITH GOOD WILL.
  • 00:03:19.093 --> 00:03:19.693
  • WITH GOOD WILL.IN FACT,
  • 00:03:19.693 --> 00:03:20.527
  • IN FACT,SHE'S NOT TRYING TO BE
  • 00:03:20.527 --> 00:03:21.262
  • SHE'S NOT TRYING TO BEDISRESPECTFUL.
  • 00:03:21.262 --> 00:03:22.229
  • DISRESPECTFUL.SHE'S ACTUALLY TRYING TO DO
  • 00:03:22.229 --> 00:03:23.964
  • SHE'S ACTUALLY TRYING TO DOTHE LOVING THING AS SHE COMES.
  • 00:03:23.964 --> 00:03:25.199
  • THE LOVING THING AS SHE COMES.HE'S NOT TRYING TO BE UNLOVING.
  • 00:03:25.199 --> 00:03:25.899
  • HE'S NOT TRYING TO BE UNLOVING.HE'S ACTUALLY DOING THE
  • 00:03:25.899 --> 00:03:27.368
  • HE'S ACTUALLY DOING THEHONORABLE THING BY PREVENTING
  • 00:03:27.368 --> 00:03:28.669
  • HONORABLE THING BY PREVENTINGTHIS THING FROM ESCALATING OUT
  • 00:03:28.669 --> 00:03:30.838
  • THIS THING FROM ESCALATING OUTOF CONTROL; I'LL JUST WITHDRAW.
  • 00:03:30.838 --> 00:03:31.772
  • OF CONTROL; I'LL JUST WITHDRAW.MATT HAGEE: IT'S KIND OF LIKE
  • 00:03:31.772 --> 00:03:32.673
  • MATT HAGEE: IT'S KIND OF LIKETWO PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT
  • 00:03:32.673 --> 00:03:34.308
  • TWO PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENTCOUNTRIES HAVING DIFFERENT
  • 00:03:34.308 --> 00:03:36.744
  • COUNTRIES HAVING DIFFERENTLANGUAGES.
  • 00:03:36.744 --> 00:03:37.544
  • LANGUAGES.DR. EGGERICHS: YEP.
  • 00:03:37.544 --> 00:03:38.245
  • DR. EGGERICHS: YEP.MATT HAGEE: I COME FROM
  • 00:03:38.245 --> 00:03:39.246
  • MATT HAGEE: I COME FROMA HISPANIC FAMILY.
  • 00:03:39.246 --> 00:03:39.847
  • A HISPANIC FAMILY.I HAVE PEOPLE,
  • 00:03:39.847 --> 00:03:41.248
  • I HAVE PEOPLE,WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND SPANISH,
  • 00:03:41.248 --> 00:03:41.949
  • WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND SPANISH,SIT AT OUR DINNER TABLE.
  • 00:03:41.949 --> 00:03:42.616
  • SIT AT OUR DINNER TABLE.AND THEY'RE LIKE,
  • 00:03:42.616 --> 00:03:43.584
  • AND THEY'RE LIKE,WHY IS EVERYBODY SO ANGRY.
  • 00:03:43.584 --> 00:03:44.818
  • WHY IS EVERYBODY SO ANGRY.I WAS LIKE, NOBODY'S ANGRY;
  • 00:03:44.818 --> 00:03:46.020
  • I WAS LIKE, NOBODY'S ANGRY;WE JUST TALK WITH OUR HANDS AND
  • 00:03:46.020 --> 00:03:47.354
  • WE JUST TALK WITH OUR HANDS ANDWE TALK AT DIFFERENT VOLUMES,
  • 00:03:47.354 --> 00:03:48.322
  • WE TALK AT DIFFERENT VOLUMES,AND WE DO THINGS IN A WAY
  • 00:03:48.322 --> 00:03:50.090
  • AND WE DO THINGS IN A WAYTHAT MIGHT LOOK ANGRY TO YOU,
  • 00:03:50.090 --> 00:03:50.658
  • THAT MIGHT LOOK ANGRY TO YOU,BUT WE'RE JUST HAVING
  • 00:03:50.658 --> 00:03:51.325
  • BUT WE'RE JUST HAVINGCONVERSATION.
  • 00:03:51.325 --> 00:03:52.526
  • CONVERSATION.DR. EGGERICHS: YES, EXACTLY.
  • 00:03:52.526 --> 00:03:53.460
  • DR. EGGERICHS: YES, EXACTLY.MATT HAGEE: AND SO YOU KIND OF
  • 00:03:53.460 --> 00:03:54.361
  • MATT HAGEE: AND SO YOU KIND OFHAVE THIS SAME DYNAMIC
  • 00:03:54.361 --> 00:03:55.296
  • HAVE THIS SAME DYNAMICBETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN.
  • 00:03:55.296 --> 00:03:55.929
  • BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN.DR. EGGERICHS: PERFECTLY.
  • 00:03:55.929 --> 00:03:56.430
  • DR. EGGERICHS: PERFECTLY.IN FACT,
  • 00:03:56.430 --> 00:03:57.264
  • IN FACT,WHEN A HUSBAND WITHDRAWS,
  • 00:03:57.264 --> 00:03:58.198
  • WHEN A HUSBAND WITHDRAWS,HE'S DOING THIS.
  • 00:03:58.198 --> 00:03:59.166
  • HE'S DOING THIS.HIS HEART BEATS ARE 99 BEATS
  • 00:03:59.166 --> 00:03:59.667
  • HIS HEART BEATS ARE 99 BEATSPER MINUTE.
  • 00:03:59.667 --> 00:04:00.601
  • PER MINUTE.THE UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON
  • 00:04:00.601 --> 00:04:01.568
  • THE UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTONSTUDIED 2.000 COUPLES
  • 00:04:01.568 --> 00:04:02.870
  • STUDIED 2.000 COUPLESFOR 20 YEARS.
  • 00:04:02.870 --> 00:04:03.871
  • FOR 20 YEARS.AND THEY NOTICED THAT THE MEN
  • 00:04:03.871 --> 00:04:04.705
  • AND THEY NOTICED THAT THE MENLOOK STOIC,
  • 00:04:04.705 --> 00:04:05.372
  • LOOK STOIC,BUT HIS HEART BEATS
  • 00:04:05.372 --> 00:04:06.240
  • BUT HIS HEART BEATSARE 99 BEATS MORE MINUTE.
  • 00:04:06.240 --> 00:04:06.940
  • ARE 99 BEATS MORE MINUTE.SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S OUT
  • 00:04:06.940 --> 00:04:08.876
  • SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S OUTOF CONTROL, NORMAL HEART BEAT.
  • 00:04:08.876 --> 00:04:09.476
  • OF CONTROL, NORMAL HEART BEAT.MATT HAGEE: ICE WATER
  • 00:04:09.476 --> 00:04:10.711
  • MATT HAGEE: ICE WATERIN HER VEINS.
  • 00:04:10.711 --> 00:04:11.645
  • IN HER VEINS.DR. EGGERICHS: EXACTLY.
  • 00:04:11.645 --> 00:04:13.013
  • DR. EGGERICHS: EXACTLY.BUT WHAT HAPPENS IS WE'RE DOING
  • 00:04:13.013 --> 00:04:14.281
  • BUT WHAT HAPPENS IS WE'RE DOINGTHE HONORABLE THING
  • 00:04:14.281 --> 00:04:15.582
  • THE HONORABLE THINGTHAT FEELS UNLOVING TO HER.
  • 00:04:15.582 --> 00:04:16.450
  • THAT FEELS UNLOVING TO HER.OUR LANGUAGE IS,
  • 00:04:16.450 --> 00:04:17.117
  • OUR LANGUAGE IS,I'M DOING THE HONORABLE,
  • 00:04:17.117 --> 00:04:17.685
  • I'M DOING THE HONORABLE,RESPECTFUL THING
  • 00:04:17.685 --> 00:04:19.219
  • RESPECTFUL THINGBY WITHDRAWING.
  • 00:04:19.219 --> 00:04:20.387
  • BY WITHDRAWING.SHE FEELS UNLOVED.
  • 00:04:20.387 --> 00:04:21.021
  • SHE FEELS UNLOVED.SHE'S MOVING TOWARD,
  • 00:04:21.021 --> 00:04:21.455
  • SHE'S MOVING TOWARD,TALK TO ME.
  • 00:04:21.455 --> 00:04:22.456
  • TALK TO ME.TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW,
  • 00:04:22.456 --> 00:04:23.457
  • TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW,WHICH FEELS DISRESPECTFUL
  • 00:04:23.457 --> 00:04:23.857
  • WHICH FEELS DISRESPECTFULTO US.
  • 00:04:23.857 --> 00:04:24.725
  • TO US.BUT IN HER WORLD,
  • 00:04:24.725 --> 00:04:25.592
  • BUT IN HER WORLD,THAT'S WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU
  • 00:04:25.592 --> 00:04:26.427
  • THAT'S WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOULOVE SOMEONE,
  • 00:04:26.427 --> 00:04:27.461
  • LOVE SOMEONE,BECAUSE WE NEED TO RESOLVE
  • 00:04:27.461 --> 00:04:27.995
  • BECAUSE WE NEED TO RESOLVETHIS.
  • 00:04:27.995 --> 00:04:28.629
  • THIS.MAKE SENSE?
  • 00:04:28.629 --> 00:04:29.430
  • MAKE SENSE?MATT HAGEE: ABSOLUTELY.
  • 00:04:29.430 --> 00:04:30.130
  • MATT HAGEE: ABSOLUTELY.KENDAL HAGEE: AND I LOVED HOW
  • 00:04:30.130 --> 00:04:30.864
  • KENDAL HAGEE: AND I LOVED HOWYOU SAID IN YOUR BOOK,
  • 00:04:30.864 --> 00:04:31.965
  • YOU SAID IN YOUR BOOK,LIKE WE WEAR PINK SUNGLASSES
  • 00:04:31.965 --> 00:04:32.833
  • LIKE WE WEAR PINK SUNGLASSESAND THEY WEAR BLUE.
  • 00:04:32.833 --> 00:04:33.567
  • AND THEY WEAR BLUE.AND THE SAME THING WITH HEARING
  • 00:04:33.567 --> 00:04:35.135
  • AND THE SAME THING WITH HEARINGAIDS, BLUE AND PINK.
  • 00:04:35.135 --> 00:04:36.203
  • AIDS, BLUE AND PINK.AND IT JUST MAY --
  • 00:04:36.203 --> 00:04:36.837
  • AND IT JUST MAY --MATT HAGEE: WE'VE BEEN HAVING
  • 00:04:36.837 --> 00:04:37.538
  • MATT HAGEE: WE'VE BEEN HAVINGTHIS PINK AND BLUE CONVERSATION
  • 00:04:37.538 --> 00:04:38.672
  • THIS PINK AND BLUE CONVERSATIONFOR WEEKS,
  • 00:04:38.672 --> 00:04:39.440
  • FOR WEEKS,LEADING UP TO THIS
  • 00:04:39.440 --> 00:04:40.441
  • LEADING UP TO THISCONVERSATION.
  • 00:04:40.441 --> 00:04:41.308
  • CONVERSATION.KENDAL HAGEE: ALSO YOU'RE
  • 00:04:41.308 --> 00:04:42.142
  • KENDAL HAGEE: ALSO YOU'REWEARING BLUE HEARING AIDS.
  • 00:04:42.142 --> 00:04:42.810
  • WEARING BLUE HEARING AIDS.THIS IS WHAT I'M TRYING
  • 00:04:42.810 --> 00:04:43.444
  • THIS IS WHAT I'M TRYINGTO TELL YOU.
  • 00:04:43.444 --> 00:04:44.111
  • TO TELL YOU.I'M NOT TRYING TO PUT
  • 00:04:44.111 --> 00:04:44.745
  • I'M NOT TRYING TO PUTON THE PINK HEARING AIDS,
  • 00:04:44.745 --> 00:04:45.546
  • ON THE PINK HEARING AIDS,BUT YOU'RE JUST NOT
  • 00:04:45.546 --> 00:04:46.280
  • BUT YOU'RE JUST NOTUNDERSTANDING WHAT I'M TRYING
  • 00:04:46.280 --> 00:04:46.880
  • UNDERSTANDING WHAT I'M TRYINGTO TELL YOU.
  • 00:04:46.880 --> 00:04:47.548
  • TO TELL YOU.DR. EGGERICHS: EXACTLY.
  • 00:04:47.548 --> 00:04:48.582
  • DR. EGGERICHS: EXACTLY.WELL I USE THIS ILLUSTRATION.
  • 00:04:48.582 --> 00:04:49.183
  • WELL I USE THIS ILLUSTRATION.SHE SAYS,
  • 00:04:49.183 --> 00:04:50.284
  • SHE SAYS,"I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR."
  • 00:04:50.284 --> 00:04:50.851
  • "I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR."WHAT SHE MEANS IS
  • 00:04:50.851 --> 00:04:52.052
  • WHAT SHE MEANS ISSHE HAS NOTHING NEW.
  • 00:04:52.052 --> 00:04:52.519
  • SHE HAS NOTHING NEW.HE SAYS,
  • 00:04:52.519 --> 00:04:53.921
  • HE SAYS,"I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR."
  • 00:04:53.921 --> 00:04:56.256
  • "I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR."HE MEANS HE HAS NOTHING CLEAN.
  • 00:04:56.256 --> 00:04:58.192
  • HE MEANS HE HAS NOTHING CLEAN.WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THAT EXACT
  • 00:04:58.192 --> 00:04:59.093
  • WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THAT EXACTSAME WORDS,
  • 00:04:59.093 --> 00:05:00.227
  • SAME WORDS,"I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR,"
  • 00:05:00.227 --> 00:05:01.428
  • "I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR,""I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR,"
  • 00:05:01.428 --> 00:05:02.563
  • "I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR,"BUT WE MEAN SOMETHING TOTALLY
  • 00:05:02.563 --> 00:05:03.130
  • BUT WE MEAN SOMETHING TOTALLYDIFFERENT.
  • 00:05:03.130 --> 00:05:03.797
  • DIFFERENT.AND THAT'S AN INNOCENT
  • 00:05:03.797 --> 00:05:04.465
  • AND THAT'S AN INNOCENTILLUSTRATION.
  • 00:05:04.465 --> 00:05:05.132
  • ILLUSTRATION.BUT THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS
  • 00:05:05.132 --> 00:05:06.233
  • BUT THIS IS WHAT HAPPENSTO SARAH AND ME.
  • 00:05:06.233 --> 00:05:07.568
  • TO SARAH AND ME.YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE WOE.
  • 00:05:07.568 --> 00:05:08.168
  • YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE WOE.MATT HAGEE: I ALWAYS TELL
  • 00:05:08.168 --> 00:05:09.136
  • MATT HAGEE: I ALWAYS TELLPEOPLE THIS; I SAY,
  • 00:05:09.136 --> 00:05:10.871
  • PEOPLE THIS; I SAY,"I UNDERSTAND VERY CLEARLY THAT
  • 00:05:10.871 --> 00:05:12.239
  • "I UNDERSTAND VERY CLEARLY THATI'M BEING TOLD TO GO CHANGE
  • 00:05:12.239 --> 00:05:13.807
  • I'M BEING TOLD TO GO CHANGEMY CLOTHES IF I WALK OUT
  • 00:05:13.807 --> 00:05:15.509
  • MY CLOTHES IF I WALK OUTOF THE CLOSET AND KENDAL GOES,
  • 00:05:15.509 --> 00:05:17.711
  • OF THE CLOSET AND KENDAL GOES,'ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR THAT?'"
  • 00:05:17.711 --> 00:05:18.679
  • 'ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR THAT?'"DR. EGGERICHS: YOU LIVE IN
  • 00:05:18.679 --> 00:05:21.215
  • DR. EGGERICHS: YOU LIVE INMY -- YOU LIVE IN MY WORLD.
  • 00:05:21.215 --> 00:05:23.050
  • MY -- YOU LIVE IN MY WORLD.MATT HAGEE: I'VE OBVIOUSLY PUT
  • 00:05:23.050 --> 00:05:23.550
  • MATT HAGEE: I'VE OBVIOUSLY PUTIT ON.
  • 00:05:23.550 --> 00:05:24.418
  • IT ON.KENDAL HAGEE: I WAS TRYING NOT
  • 00:05:24.418 --> 00:05:25.619
  • KENDAL HAGEE: I WAS TRYING NOTTO BE DISRESPECTFUL AND SAY,
  • 00:05:25.619 --> 00:05:26.453
  • TO BE DISRESPECTFUL AND SAY,"I DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU'RE
  • 00:05:26.453 --> 00:05:27.654
  • "I DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU'REWEARING."
  • 00:05:27.654 --> 00:05:28.188
  • WEARING."MATT HAGEE: AT WHICH POINT
  • 00:05:28.188 --> 00:05:29.056
  • MATT HAGEE: AT WHICH POINTI LOOKED AT HER AND SAID,
  • 00:05:29.056 --> 00:05:29.857
  • I LOOKED AT HER AND SAID,"I WOULD MUCH RATHER YOU LOOK
  • 00:05:29.857 --> 00:05:30.657
  • "I WOULD MUCH RATHER YOU LOOKAT ME AND GO,
  • 00:05:30.657 --> 00:05:31.258
  • AT ME AND GO,'THAT LOOKS TERRIBLE.
  • 00:05:31.258 --> 00:05:32.326
  • 'THAT LOOKS TERRIBLE.DON'T EVER WEAR IT AGAIN.
  • 00:05:32.326 --> 00:05:33.594
  • DON'T EVER WEAR IT AGAIN.PLEASE PUT ON SOMETHING ELSE.'"
  • 00:05:33.594 --> 00:05:34.094
  • PLEASE PUT ON SOMETHING ELSE.'"I SAID,
  • 00:05:34.094 --> 00:05:34.962
  • I SAID,"BECAUSE THEN I WOULD AT LEAST
  • 00:05:34.962 --> 00:05:35.796
  • "BECAUSE THEN I WOULD AT LEASTNEVER TRY TO PUT THIS ON
  • 00:05:35.796 --> 00:05:36.397
  • NEVER TRY TO PUT THIS ONAGAIN."
  • 00:05:36.397 --> 00:05:37.564
  • AGAIN."I SAID INSTEAD,
  • 00:05:37.564 --> 00:05:38.365
  • I SAID INSTEAD,"ARE YOU GOING WEAR THAT?"
  • 00:05:38.365 --> 00:05:39.032
  • "ARE YOU GOING WEAR THAT?"I SAID,
  • 00:05:39.032 --> 00:05:39.833
  • I SAID,"I KIND OF FIND THAT TO BE
  • 00:05:39.833 --> 00:05:40.601
  • "I KIND OF FIND THAT TO BEA FOOLISH QUESTION,
  • 00:05:40.601 --> 00:05:41.568
  • A FOOLISH QUESTION,BECAUSE I'M OBVIOUSLY,
  • 00:05:41.568 --> 00:05:42.770
  • BECAUSE I'M OBVIOUSLY,ALREADY WEARING IT."
  • 00:05:42.770 --> 00:05:43.537
  • ALREADY WEARING IT."DR. EGGERICHS: THERE'S
  • 00:05:43.537 --> 00:05:43.971
  • DR. EGGERICHS: THERE'SAN ILLUSTRATION.
  • 00:05:43.971 --> 00:05:44.638
  • AN ILLUSTRATION.WOMEN ARE INDIRECT.
  • 00:05:44.638 --> 00:05:45.272
  • WOMEN ARE INDIRECT.THEY ARE TRYING TO BE
  • 00:05:45.272 --> 00:05:46.440
  • THEY ARE TRYING TO BESENSITIVE.
  • 00:05:46.440 --> 00:05:47.608
  • SENSITIVE.BUT SEE -- AND THAT BECOMES
  • 00:05:47.608 --> 00:05:49.243
  • BUT SEE -- AND THAT BECOMESTHEN THIS KIND OF DYNAMIC.
  • 00:05:49.243 --> 00:05:50.711
  • THEN THIS KIND OF DYNAMIC.WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL ME?
  • 00:05:50.711 --> 00:05:51.512
  • WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL ME?BUT AND THEN WE THINK,
  • 00:05:51.512 --> 00:05:53.647
  • BUT AND THEN WE THINK,ARE YOU -- YOU'VE REALLY GOT
  • 00:05:53.647 --> 00:05:54.448
  • ARE YOU -- YOU'VE REALLY GOTA HIDDEN MESSAGE HERE YOU'RE
  • 00:05:54.448 --> 00:05:55.182
  • A HIDDEN MESSAGE HERE YOU'RETRYING TO SEND TO ME
  • 00:05:55.182 --> 00:05:56.016
  • TRYING TO SEND TO MEAND YOU'RE JUST NOT BEING UP
  • 00:05:56.016 --> 00:05:57.117
  • AND YOU'RE JUST NOT BEING UPAND FRONT WITH ME.
  • 00:05:57.117 --> 00:05:58.318
  • AND FRONT WITH ME.BUT TO HER DEFENSE,
  • 00:05:58.318 --> 00:05:59.319
  • BUT TO HER DEFENSE,THAT'S WHERE THE SENSITIVITY
  • 00:05:59.319 --> 00:06:00.320
  • THAT'S WHERE THE SENSITIVITYCOMES IN.
  • 00:06:00.320 --> 00:06:01.722
  • COMES IN.SARAH WILL OFTEN TIMES ASK ME
  • 00:06:01.722 --> 00:06:03.090
  • SARAH WILL OFTEN TIMES ASK MEQUESTIONS AND IT'S JUST
  • 00:06:03.090 --> 00:06:03.824
  • QUESTIONS AND IT'S JUSTVERY INNOCENT.
  • 00:06:03.824 --> 00:06:04.758
  • VERY INNOCENT.BUT I THINK SHE'S CALLING ME
  • 00:06:04.758 --> 00:06:05.959
  • BUT I THINK SHE'S CALLING MEINTO QUESTION.
  • 00:06:05.959 --> 00:06:06.794
  • INTO QUESTION.YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE?
  • 00:06:06.794 --> 00:06:07.694
  • YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE?MATT HAGEE: ABSOLUTELY.
  • 00:06:07.694 --> 00:06:08.162
  • MATT HAGEE: ABSOLUTELY.KENDAL HAGEE: YES.
  • 00:06:08.162 --> 00:06:08.695
  • KENDAL HAGEE: YES.DR. EGGERICHS: AS A MAN,
  • 00:06:08.695 --> 00:06:09.496
  • DR. EGGERICHS: AS A MAN,I FEEL SHE'S CALLING ME INTO
  • 00:06:09.496 --> 00:06:10.631
  • I FEEL SHE'S CALLING ME INTOQUESTION SIMPLY BECAUSE
  • 00:06:10.631 --> 00:06:12.266
  • QUESTION SIMPLY BECAUSESHE'S ASKING A QUESTION.
  • 00:06:12.266 --> 00:06:14.334
  • SHE'S ASKING A QUESTION.AND THESE NUANCES EXIST
  • 00:06:14.334 --> 00:06:15.335
  • AND THESE NUANCES EXISTIN ALL RELATIONSHIPS.
  • 00:06:15.335 --> 00:06:17.438
  • IN ALL RELATIONSHIPS.BUT IF WE DON'T UNPACK THIS IN
  • 00:06:17.438 --> 00:06:18.272
  • BUT IF WE DON'T UNPACK THIS INA WAY THAT WE'RE TRYING TO DO
  • 00:06:18.272 --> 00:06:19.440
  • A WAY THAT WE'RE TRYING TO DOIN OUR "LOVE AND RESPECT" BOOK,
  • 00:06:19.440 --> 00:06:20.073
  • IN OUR "LOVE AND RESPECT" BOOK,OVER THE YEARS,
  • 00:06:20.073 --> 00:06:21.375
  • OVER THE YEARS,WE BEGIN TO NOT LIKE EACH OTHER
  • 00:06:21.375 --> 00:06:22.476
  • WE BEGIN TO NOT LIKE EACH OTHERAND ACTUALLY BEGIN TO RESENT
  • 00:06:22.476 --> 00:06:23.510
  • AND ACTUALLY BEGIN TO RESENTEACH OTHER.
  • 00:06:23.510 --> 00:06:24.111
  • EACH OTHER.AND HERE WE ARE,
  • 00:06:24.111 --> 00:06:25.546
  • AND HERE WE ARE,TWO GOOD-WILLED PEOPLE WHO CARE
  • 00:06:25.546 --> 00:06:26.747
  • TWO GOOD-WILLED PEOPLE WHO CAREDEEPLY FOR EACH OTHER.
  • 00:06:26.747 --> 00:06:27.881
  • DEEPLY FOR EACH OTHER.BUT WE'RE SPEAKING A PINK
  • 00:06:27.881 --> 00:06:29.283
  • BUT WE'RE SPEAKING A PINKAND BLUE LANGUAGE
  • 00:06:29.283 --> 00:06:30.184
  • AND BLUE LANGUAGEAND WE DON'T UNDERSTAND.
  • 00:06:30.184 --> 00:06:30.784
  • AND WE DON'T UNDERSTAND.KENDAL HAGEE: IS THAT WHAT YOU
  • 00:06:30.784 --> 00:06:31.485
  • KENDAL HAGEE: IS THAT WHAT YOUSEE IN COUPLES?
  • 00:06:31.485 --> 00:06:32.186
  • SEE IN COUPLES?DR. EGGERICHS: ALL THE TIME.
  • 00:06:32.186 --> 00:06:32.786
  • DR. EGGERICHS: ALL THE TIME.KENDAL HAGEE: I MEAN THEY HAVE
  • 00:06:32.786 --> 00:06:33.353
  • KENDAL HAGEE: I MEAN THEY HAVEBEEN MARRIED FOR 40 YEARS,
  • 00:06:33.353 --> 00:06:34.087
  • BEEN MARRIED FOR 40 YEARS,AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY
  • 00:06:34.087 --> 00:06:34.855
  • AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THEYARE SLEEPING IN TWO SEPARATE
  • 00:06:34.855 --> 00:06:36.723
  • ARE SLEEPING IN TWO SEPARATEBEDROOMS OR NOT COMMUNICATING.
  • 00:06:36.723 --> 00:06:37.491
  • BEDROOMS OR NOT COMMUNICATING.DR. EGGERICHS: AND IT'S
  • 00:06:37.491 --> 00:06:38.125
  • DR. EGGERICHS: AND IT'SAN HONEST MISUNDERSTANDING.
  • 00:06:38.125 --> 00:06:39.193
  • AN HONEST MISUNDERSTANDING.NOW THERE CAN BE EVIL WILL.
  • 00:06:39.193 --> 00:06:40.694
  • NOW THERE CAN BE EVIL WILL.MY DAD ATTEMPTED TO STRANGLE
  • 00:06:40.694 --> 00:06:41.595
  • MY DAD ATTEMPTED TO STRANGLEMY MOTHER TO DEATH.
  • 00:06:41.595 --> 00:06:42.663
  • MY MOTHER TO DEATH.MY DAD COMMITTED ADULTERY.
  • 00:06:42.663 --> 00:06:44.298
  • MY DAD COMMITTED ADULTERY.THERE ARE ABUSES
  • 00:06:44.298 --> 00:06:45.232
  • THERE ARE ABUSESAND THERE ARE SERIOUSLY.
  • 00:06:45.232 --> 00:06:46.667
  • AND THERE ARE SERIOUSLY.BUT AMONG MOST PEOPLE,
  • 00:06:46.667 --> 00:06:47.768
  • BUT AMONG MOST PEOPLE,THERE'S GOOD WILL.
  • 00:06:47.768 --> 00:06:48.535
  • THERE'S GOOD WILL.YOU KNOW WHEN SARAH AND I GOT
  • 00:06:48.535 --> 00:06:49.203
  • YOU KNOW WHEN SARAH AND I GOTMARRIED, I DIDN'T SAY,
  • 00:06:49.203 --> 00:06:49.970
  • MARRIED, I DIDN'T SAY,"I HATE YOU; YOU HATE ME,
  • 00:06:49.970 --> 00:06:50.938
  • "I HATE YOU; YOU HATE ME,SO LET'S GET MARRIED."
  • 00:06:50.938 --> 00:06:51.638
  • SO LET'S GET MARRIED."YOU KNOW WE GOT MARRIED
  • 00:06:51.638 --> 00:06:52.606
  • YOU KNOW WE GOT MARRIEDBECAUSE YOU CARE.
  • 00:06:52.606 --> 00:06:53.540
  • BECAUSE YOU CARE.BUT OVER A PERIOD OF TIME,
  • 00:06:53.540 --> 00:06:55.042
  • BUT OVER A PERIOD OF TIME,THESE HONEST MISUNDERSTANDINGS
  • 00:06:55.042 --> 00:06:56.710
  • THESE HONEST MISUNDERSTANDINGSKEEP HAPPENING AND WE IRRITATE
  • 00:06:56.710 --> 00:06:57.644
  • KEEP HAPPENING AND WE IRRITATEEACH OTHER.
  • 00:06:57.644 --> 00:06:58.645
  • EACH OTHER.AND THEN OVER A PERIOD OF TIME,
  • 00:06:58.645 --> 00:06:59.847
  • AND THEN OVER A PERIOD OF TIME,WE JUST DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER.
  • 00:06:59.847 --> 00:07:01.114
  • WE JUST DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER.AND I ALWAYS KIND OF FEEL LIKE,
  • 00:07:01.114 --> 00:07:02.249
  • AND I ALWAYS KIND OF FEEL LIKE,YOU KNOW THIS --
  • 00:07:02.249 --> 00:07:02.850
  • YOU KNOW THIS --THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG
  • 00:07:02.850 --> 00:07:03.450
  • THERE'S SOMETHING WRONGWITH OUR RELATIONSHIP.
  • 00:07:03.450 --> 00:07:04.117
  • WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP.MATT HAGEE: AND THERE'S
  • 00:07:04.117 --> 00:07:05.886
  • MATT HAGEE: AND THERE'SA MATTER OF SELF THAT HAS
  • 00:07:05.886 --> 00:07:08.121
  • A MATTER OF SELF THAT HASTO BE CRUCIFIED IN THE MIX;
  • 00:07:08.121 --> 00:07:08.689
  • TO BE CRUCIFIED IN THE MIX;YOU KNOW?
  • 00:07:08.689 --> 00:07:09.490
  • YOU KNOW?I TELL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME;
  • 00:07:09.490 --> 00:07:10.023
  • I TELL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME;I SAY,
  • 00:07:10.023 --> 00:07:11.191
  • I SAY,YOU KNOW WHEN YOU WERE DATING,
  • 00:07:11.191 --> 00:07:11.725
  • YOU KNOW WHEN YOU WERE DATING,YOU'D SAY,
  • 00:07:11.725 --> 00:07:12.426
  • YOU'D SAY,"OH, I'D TO SPEND THE REST
  • 00:07:12.426 --> 00:07:13.427
  • "OH, I'D TO SPEND THE RESTOF MY LIFE WITH HER."
  • 00:07:13.427 --> 00:07:14.161
  • OF MY LIFE WITH HER."AND NOW THAT YOU'RE MARRIED,
  • 00:07:14.161 --> 00:07:14.995
  • AND NOW THAT YOU'RE MARRIED,YOU SAY, "SHE'S KILLING ME."
  • 00:07:14.995 --> 00:07:16.497
  • YOU SAY, "SHE'S KILLING ME."SO I MEAN YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T
  • 00:07:16.497 --> 00:07:17.331
  • SO I MEAN YOU KNOW YOU CAN'THAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO.
  • 00:07:17.331 --> 00:07:18.332
  • HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO.DR. EGGERICHS: YES, YES.
  • 00:07:18.332 --> 00:07:18.999
  • DR. EGGERICHS: YES, YES.MATT HAGEE: AND THE REALITY
  • 00:07:18.999 --> 00:07:19.500
  • MATT HAGEE: AND THE REALITYOF IT IS,
  • 00:07:19.500 --> 00:07:21.368
  • OF IT IS,IS THAT IN MY RELATIONSHIPS,
  • 00:07:21.368 --> 00:07:22.636
  • IS THAT IN MY RELATIONSHIPS,IF A PERSON IS WILLING
  • 00:07:22.636 --> 00:07:25.439
  • IF A PERSON IS WILLINGTO SACRIFICE THEIR SELF-WILL
  • 00:07:25.439 --> 00:07:27.274
  • TO SACRIFICE THEIR SELF-WILLTO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS PART
  • 00:07:27.274 --> 00:07:29.109
  • TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS PARTOF THE PAYMENT FOR BEING
  • 00:07:29.109 --> 00:07:30.777
  • OF THE PAYMENT FOR BEINGIN THIS RELATIONSHIP,
  • 00:07:30.777 --> 00:07:32.880
  • IN THIS RELATIONSHIP,THEN A LOT OF THE LITTLE THINGS
  • 00:07:32.880 --> 00:07:34.548
  • THEN A LOT OF THE LITTLE THINGSTHAT CAN BECOME BIG THINGS,
  • 00:07:34.548 --> 00:07:35.249
  • THAT CAN BECOME BIG THINGS,THEY DON'T EVER EVEN GET
  • 00:07:35.249 --> 00:07:36.717
  • THEY DON'T EVER EVEN GETON THE SCALE; YOU KNOW?
  • 00:07:36.717 --> 00:07:37.284
  • ON THE SCALE; YOU KNOW?DR. EGGERICHS: YES.
  • 00:07:37.284 --> 00:07:38.385
  • DR. EGGERICHS: YES.AND I WOULD ADD TO THAT,
  • 00:07:38.385 --> 00:07:40.120
  • AND I WOULD ADD TO THAT,AND EVEN A LIGHTER NOTE,
  • 00:07:40.120 --> 00:07:42.222
  • AND EVEN A LIGHTER NOTE,IS THAT HER MOTIVATION
  • 00:07:42.222 --> 00:07:43.657
  • IS THAT HER MOTIVATIONIS TO DO THE LOVING THING,
  • 00:07:43.657 --> 00:07:44.625
  • IS TO DO THE LOVING THING,NOT TO DO THE DISRESPECTFUL
  • 00:07:44.625 --> 00:07:45.559
  • NOT TO DO THE DISRESPECTFULTHING.
  • 00:07:45.559 --> 00:07:46.994
  • THING.HIS MOTIVATION IS TO DO
  • 00:07:46.994 --> 00:07:47.661
  • HIS MOTIVATION IS TO DOTHE HONORABLE,
  • 00:07:47.661 --> 00:07:48.729
  • THE HONORABLE,RESPECTFUL THING,
  • 00:07:48.729 --> 00:07:49.997
  • RESPECTFUL THING,NEVER TO BE UNLOVING.
  • 00:07:49.997 --> 00:07:50.831
  • NEVER TO BE UNLOVING.I MEAN JESUS CHRIST SAID,
  • 00:07:50.831 --> 00:07:51.899
  • I MEAN JESUS CHRIST SAID,"NO GREATER LOVE HAS A MAN
  • 00:07:51.899 --> 00:07:52.366
  • "NO GREATER LOVE HAS A MANTHAN THIS;
  • 00:07:52.366 --> 00:07:53.066
  • THAN THIS;THAT HE LAY DOWN HIS LIFE
  • 00:07:53.066 --> 00:07:54.167
  • THAT HE LAY DOWN HIS LIFEFOR HIS FRIEND."
  • 00:07:54.167 --> 00:07:54.801
  • FOR HIS FRIEND."AND WE'VE SEEN ALL ACROSS
  • 00:07:54.801 --> 00:07:55.235
  • AND WE'VE SEEN ALL ACROSSTHE COUNTRY,
  • 00:07:55.235 --> 00:07:56.336
  • THE COUNTRY,MEN THROWING THEMSELVES
  • 00:07:56.336 --> 00:07:57.070
  • MEN THROWING THEMSELVESON THEIR WIVES,
  • 00:07:57.070 --> 00:07:57.604
  • ON THEIR WIVES,THROWING THEMSELVES
  • 00:07:57.604 --> 00:07:58.138
  • THROWING THEMSELVESON THEIR DAUGHTERS,
  • 00:07:58.138 --> 00:07:58.672
  • ON THEIR DAUGHTERS,THROWING THEMSELVES
  • 00:07:58.672 --> 00:07:59.273
  • THROWING THEMSELVESON THEIR GIRLFRIENDS,
  • 00:07:59.273 --> 00:08:00.707
  • ON THEIR GIRLFRIENDS,TAKING THE BULLET AND DYING.
  • 00:08:00.707 --> 00:08:02.442
  • TAKING THE BULLET AND DYING.THIS IS WHAT MEN DO.
  • 00:08:02.442 --> 00:08:03.310
  • THIS IS WHAT MEN DO.BUT THEY AREN'T WRITING
  • 00:08:03.310 --> 00:08:05.879
  • BUT THEY AREN'T WRITINGHALLMARK CARDS FULL OF POETRY.
  • 00:08:05.879 --> 00:08:06.813
  • HALLMARK CARDS FULL OF POETRY.SO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS,
  • 00:08:06.813 --> 00:08:07.881
  • SO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS,HE'S AN HONORABLE,
  • 00:08:07.881 --> 00:08:08.415
  • HE'S AN HONORABLE,GOOD-WILLED,
  • 00:08:08.415 --> 00:08:09.416
  • GOOD-WILLED,RESPECTFUL MAN,
  • 00:08:09.416 --> 00:08:11.018
  • RESPECTFUL MAN,WHO ISN'T AS LOVING AS ME.
  • 00:08:11.018 --> 00:08:12.319
  • WHO ISN'T AS LOVING AS ME.BUT IS HE REALLY TRYING TO BE
  • 00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:13.921
  • BUT IS HE REALLY TRYING TO BEUNLOVING BECAUSE HE JUST GOES
  • 00:08:13.921 --> 00:08:14.788
  • UNLOVING BECAUSE HE JUST GOESQUIET?
  • 00:08:14.788 --> 00:08:16.290
  • QUIET?WE HAVE TO TRUST THE GOOD WILL
  • 00:08:16.290 --> 00:08:17.391
  • WE HAVE TO TRUST THE GOOD WILLOF THE OTHER PERSON.
  • 00:08:17.391 --> 00:08:18.058
  • OF THE OTHER PERSON.KENDAL HAGEE: AMEN.
  • 00:08:18.058 --> 00:08:18.725
  • KENDAL HAGEE: AMEN.DR. EGGERICHS: PAUL SAID
  • 00:08:18.725 --> 00:08:20.127
  • DR. EGGERICHS: PAUL SAIDIN 1 CORINTHIANS 7:33 AND 34,
  • 00:08:20.127 --> 00:08:21.295
  • IN 1 CORINTHIANS 7:33 AND 34,"THE HUSBAND IS CONCERNED ABOUT
  • 00:08:21.295 --> 00:08:22.596
  • "THE HUSBAND IS CONCERNED ABOUTHOW TO PLEASE HIS WIFE.
  • 00:08:22.596 --> 00:08:23.664
  • HOW TO PLEASE HIS WIFE.AND THE WIFE IS CONCERNED ABOUT
  • 00:08:23.664 --> 00:08:25.098
  • AND THE WIFE IS CONCERNED ABOUTHOW TO PLEASE HER HUSBAND."
  • 00:08:25.098 --> 00:08:26.800
  • HOW TO PLEASE HER HUSBAND."NOW HE PENNED THE TREATISE
  • 00:08:26.800 --> 00:08:27.301
  • NOW HE PENNED THE TREATISEOF ROMANS,
  • 00:08:27.301 --> 00:08:28.869
  • OF ROMANS,WHICH IS THE TOTAL DEPRAVITY
  • 00:08:28.869 --> 00:08:30.170
  • WHICH IS THE TOTAL DEPRAVITYOF THE HUMAN HEART THAT
  • 00:08:30.170 --> 00:08:31.672
  • OF THE HUMAN HEART THATWE'RE PRETTY BAD AT ONE LEVEL.
  • 00:08:31.672 --> 00:08:33.273
  • WE'RE PRETTY BAD AT ONE LEVEL.WE CAN'T SAVE OURSELVES.
  • 00:08:33.273 --> 00:08:34.141
  • WE CAN'T SAVE OURSELVES.BUT PAUL SAYS,
  • 00:08:34.141 --> 00:08:37.010
  • BUT PAUL SAYS,"TRUST THE OTHER'S GOOD WILL;
  • 00:08:37.010 --> 00:08:38.111
  • "TRUST THE OTHER'S GOOD WILL;THAT THEY'RE CONCERNED.
  • 00:08:38.111 --> 00:08:38.845
  • THAT THEY'RE CONCERNED.THEY'RE NOT TRYING
  • 00:08:38.845 --> 00:08:40.147
  • THEY'RE NOT TRYINGTO DISPLEASE YOU.
  • 00:08:40.147 --> 00:08:42.015
  • TO DISPLEASE YOU.BUT AT THAT MOMENT,
  • 00:08:42.015 --> 00:08:43.183
  • BUT AT THAT MOMENT,SARAH AND I FEEL,
  • 00:08:43.183 --> 00:08:44.885
  • SARAH AND I FEEL,YOU DON'T CARE.
  • 00:08:44.885 --> 00:08:46.720
  • YOU DON'T CARE.YOU'RE DISPLEASING ME.
  • 00:08:46.720 --> 00:08:47.754
  • YOU'RE DISPLEASING ME.BUT WE HAVE TO REFRAME THAT
  • 00:08:47.754 --> 00:08:49.723
  • BUT WE HAVE TO REFRAME THATAND TRUST, MAKE A DECISION.
  • 00:08:49.723 --> 00:08:50.857
  • AND TRUST, MAKE A DECISION.AND THAT'S HELPED US
  • 00:08:50.857 --> 00:08:51.925
  • AND THAT'S HELPED USA GREAT DEAL.
  • 00:08:51.925 --> 00:08:53.160
  • A GREAT DEAL.YOU'RE A PERSON OF GOOD WILL.
  • 00:08:53.160 --> 00:08:54.061
  • YOU'RE A PERSON OF GOOD WILL.WE'RE ALLIES.
  • 00:08:54.061 --> 00:08:54.995
  • WE'RE ALLIES.WE'RE NOT ENEMIES.
  • 00:08:54.995 --> 00:08:56.196
  • WE'RE NOT ENEMIES.WE JUST DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER
  • 00:08:56.196 --> 00:08:56.863
  • WE JUST DON'T LIKE EACH OTHERRIGHT NOW.
  • 00:08:56.863 --> 00:08:57.497
  • RIGHT NOW.MATT HAGEE: WELL,
  • 00:08:57.497 --> 00:08:58.131
  • MATT HAGEE: WELL,AND WHEN IT COMES TO THIS
  • 00:08:58.131 --> 00:08:59.399
  • AND WHEN IT COMES TO THISMATTER OF LOVE AND RESPECT,
  • 00:08:59.399 --> 00:09:00.067
  • MATTER OF LOVE AND RESPECT,AND THE MATTER OF LOVE
  • 00:09:00.067 --> 00:09:00.867
  • AND THE MATTER OF LOVEAND LIKE,
  • 00:09:00.867 --> 00:09:01.635
  • AND LIKE,THERE'S A WHOLE LOT MORE
  • 00:09:01.635 --> 00:09:02.135
  • THERE'S A WHOLE LOT MORETO DISCUSS.
  • 00:09:02.135 --> 00:09:02.769
  • TO DISCUSS.AND WE LOOK FORWARD
  • 00:09:02.769 --> 00:09:03.804
  • AND WE LOOK FORWARDTO CONTINUING THIS CONVERSATION
  • 00:09:03.804 --> 00:09:04.705
  • TO CONTINUING THIS CONVERSATIONWITH DR. EGGERICHS.
  • 00:09:04.705 --> 00:09:06.707
  • WITH DR. EGGERICHS.WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS.
  • 00:09:06.707 --> 00:09:09.176
  • WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS.♪ MUSIC ♪
  • 00:09:09.176 --> 00:09:09.910
  • ♪ MUSIC ♪♪ MUSIC ♪
  • 00:09:09.910 --> 00:09:12.112
  • ♪ MUSIC ♪PSALM 122:6 SAYS,
  • 00:09:12.112 --> 00:09:13.113
  • PSALM 122:6 SAYS,"PRAY FOR THE PEACE
  • 00:09:13.113 --> 00:09:14.081
  • "PRAY FOR THE PEACEOF JERUSALEM.
  • 00:09:14.081 --> 00:09:15.182
  • OF JERUSALEM.MAY THEY PROSPER
  • 00:09:15.182 --> 00:09:16.283
  • MAY THEY PROSPERWHO LOVE YOU."
  • 00:09:16.283 --> 00:09:17.184
  • WHO LOVE YOU."PASTOR MATT HAGEE: AS
  • 00:09:17.184 --> 00:09:17.818
  • PASTOR MATT HAGEE: ASCHRISTIANS,
  • 00:09:17.818 --> 00:09:18.785
  • CHRISTIANS,WE OWE A DEBT OF GRATITUDE
  • 00:09:18.785 --> 00:09:19.720
  • WE OWE A DEBT OF GRATITUDETO THE JEWISH PEOPLE
  • 00:09:19.720 --> 00:09:21.121
  • TO THE JEWISH PEOPLEFOR THEIR CONTRIBUTIONS
  • 00:09:21.121 --> 00:09:23.557
  • FOR THEIR CONTRIBUTIONSTHAT GAVE BIRTH TO OUR FAITH.
  • 00:09:23.557 --> 00:09:24.625
  • THAT GAVE BIRTH TO OUR FAITH.ISRAEL IS THE APPLE
  • 00:09:24.625 --> 00:09:25.592
  • ISRAEL IS THE APPLEOF GOD'S EYES,
  • 00:09:25.592 --> 00:09:26.893
  • OF GOD'S EYES,AND HIS BLESSINGS COME
  • 00:09:26.893 --> 00:09:28.061
  • AND HIS BLESSINGS COMETO THOSE WHO LOVE HER.
  • 00:09:28.061 --> 00:09:28.662
  • TO THOSE WHO LOVE HER.WHEN YOU BLESS
  • 00:09:28.662 --> 00:09:29.663
  • WHEN YOU BLESSTHE JEWISH PEOPLE,
  • 00:09:29.663 --> 00:09:30.597
  • THE JEWISH PEOPLE,YOU OPEN THE DOOR
  • 00:09:30.597 --> 00:09:32.032
  • YOU OPEN THE DOOROF SUPERNATURAL BLESSINGS
  • 00:09:32.032 --> 00:09:33.533
  • OF SUPERNATURAL BLESSINGSIN YOUR OWN LIFE.
  • 00:09:33.533 --> 00:09:34.234
  • IN YOUR OWN LIFE.THIS MONTH,
  • 00:09:34.234 --> 00:09:35.002
  • THIS MONTH,FOR YOUR DONATION
  • 00:09:35.002 --> 00:09:35.769
  • FOR YOUR DONATIONOF ANY AMOUNT,
  • 00:09:35.769 --> 00:09:36.737
  • OF ANY AMOUNT,WE WILL SEND YOU
  • 00:09:36.737 --> 00:09:38.205
  • WE WILL SEND YOUTHIS TWO-SIDED JERUSALEM
  • 00:09:38.205 --> 00:09:39.806
  • THIS TWO-SIDED JERUSALEMHAGEE MINISTRIES' TEACHING
  • 00:09:39.806 --> 00:09:41.341
  • HAGEE MINISTRIES' TEACHINGAS A REMINDER OF YOUR SUPPORT
  • 00:09:41.341 --> 00:09:42.609
  • AS A REMINDER OF YOUR SUPPORTFOR THE NATION OF ISRAEL.
  • 00:09:42.609 --> 00:09:44.478
  • FOR THE NATION OF ISRAEL.FOR YOUR GIFT OF $200 OR MORE,
  • 00:09:44.478 --> 00:09:45.579
  • FOR YOUR GIFT OF $200 OR MORE,YOU WILL ALSO RECEIVE
  • 00:09:45.579 --> 00:09:47.080
  • YOU WILL ALSO RECEIVETHIS BEAUTIFUL SHOFAR
  • 00:09:47.080 --> 00:09:48.281
  • THIS BEAUTIFUL SHOFARMADE IN ISRAEL,
  • 00:09:48.281 --> 00:09:49.850
  • MADE IN ISRAEL,CRAFTED FROM A RAM'S HORN.
  • 00:09:49.850 --> 00:09:50.751
  • CRAFTED FROM A RAM'S HORN.THIS ANCIENT MUSICAL
  • 00:09:50.751 --> 00:09:51.852
  • THIS ANCIENT MUSICALINSTRUMENT IS USED
  • 00:09:51.852 --> 00:09:53.453
  • INSTRUMENT IS USEDON SACRED JEWISH RELIGIOUS
  • 00:09:53.453 --> 00:09:54.187
  • ON SACRED JEWISH RELIGIOUSOCCASIONS.
  • 00:09:54.187 --> 00:09:55.022
  • OCCASIONS.PASTOR MATT HAGEE: NEVER
  • 00:09:55.022 --> 00:09:55.722
  • PASTOR MATT HAGEE: NEVERIN HER HISTORY
  • 00:09:55.722 --> 00:09:56.790
  • IN HER HISTORYHAS THE NATION OF ISRAEL
  • 00:09:56.790 --> 00:09:58.091
  • HAS THE NATION OF ISRAELAND THE JEWISH PEOPLE
  • 00:09:58.091 --> 00:09:59.292
  • AND THE JEWISH PEOPLENEEDED OUR SUPPORT
  • 00:09:59.292 --> 00:10:01.361
  • NEEDED OUR SUPPORTMORE THAN THEY DO TODAY.
  • 00:10:01.361 --> 00:10:02.763
  • MORE THAN THEY DO TODAY.BLESS THE NATION OF ISRAEL.
  • 00:10:02.763 --> 00:10:10.237
  • BLESS THE NATION OF ISRAEL.CALL THE NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN T
  • 00:10:10.237 --> 00:10:11.138
  • CALL THE NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN TTHE ACTIONS YOU TAKE
  • 00:10:11.138 --> 00:10:12.272
  • THE ACTIONS YOU TAKEDURING YOUR LIFE.
  • 00:10:12.272 --> 00:10:13.173
  • DURING YOUR LIFE.YOUR ACTIONS WILL AFFECT
  • 00:10:13.173 --> 00:10:14.341
  • YOUR ACTIONS WILL AFFECTHOW PEOPLE REMEMBER YOU
  • 00:10:14.341 --> 00:10:16.209
  • HOW PEOPLE REMEMBER YOUFOR GENERATIONS TO COME.
  • 00:10:16.209 --> 00:10:17.511
  • FOR GENERATIONS TO COME.AS A LEGACY PARTNER,
  • 00:10:17.511 --> 00:10:18.345
  • AS A LEGACY PARTNER,YOUR MONTHLY GIFT
  • 00:10:18.345 --> 00:10:19.746
  • YOUR MONTHLY GIFTSUPPORTS HUMANITARIAN EFFORTS
  • 00:10:19.746 --> 00:10:20.514
  • SUPPORTS HUMANITARIAN EFFORTSIN ISRAEL,
  • 00:10:20.514 --> 00:10:21.848
  • IN ISRAEL,THE SANCTUARY OF HOPE,
  • 00:10:21.848 --> 00:10:23.016
  • THE SANCTUARY OF HOPE,AND OUR GLOBAL BROADCAST
  • 00:10:23.016 --> 00:10:23.850
  • AND OUR GLOBAL BROADCASTOUTREACH.
  • 00:10:23.850 --> 00:10:24.718
  • OUTREACH.THE BIBLE STATES
  • 00:10:24.718 --> 00:10:26.053
  • THE BIBLE STATESTHAT WHEN YOU BLESS ISRAEL,
  • 00:10:26.053 --> 00:10:27.554
  • THAT WHEN YOU BLESS ISRAEL,GOD BLESSES YOU.
  • 00:10:27.554 --> 00:10:28.355
  • GOD BLESSES YOU.GOD CAN USE US
  • 00:10:28.355 --> 00:10:29.356
  • GOD CAN USE USIN AMAZING WAYS
  • 00:10:29.356 --> 00:10:30.257
  • IN AMAZING WAYSTO ENRICH THE LIVES
  • 00:10:30.257 --> 00:10:32.125
  • TO ENRICH THE LIVESOF GOD'S CHOSEN PEOPLE.
  • 00:10:32.125 --> 00:10:33.527
  • OF GOD'S CHOSEN PEOPLE.PARTNER WITH US TODAY.
  • 00:10:33.527 --> 00:10:34.928
  • PARTNER WITH US TODAY.CALL THE NUMBER ON THE SCREEN
  • 00:10:34.928 --> 00:10:38.098
  • CALL THE NUMBER ON THE SCREENOR GO TO JHM.ORG/PARTNER.
  • 00:10:38.098 --> 00:10:49.876
  • OR GO TO JHM.ORG/PARTNER.♪ MUSIC ♪
  • 00:10:49.876 --> 00:10:50.677
  • ♪ MUSIC ♪MATT HAGEE: WELCOME BACK TO
  • 00:10:50.677 --> 00:10:51.311
  • MATT HAGEE: WELCOME BACK TO"THE DIFFERENCE."
  • 00:10:51.311 --> 00:10:52.045
  • "THE DIFFERENCE."KENDAL AND I ARE JOINED
  • 00:10:52.045 --> 00:10:53.313
  • KENDAL AND I ARE JOINEDBY DR. EMERSON EGGERICHS.
  • 00:10:53.313 --> 00:10:54.347
  • BY DR. EMERSON EGGERICHS.AND YOU KNOW WE'RE TALKING
  • 00:10:54.347 --> 00:10:55.382
  • AND YOU KNOW WE'RE TALKINGABOUT "LOVE AND RESPECT,"
  • 00:10:55.382 --> 00:10:56.583
  • ABOUT "LOVE AND RESPECT,"THE DIFFERENCE IN PERSPECTIVE
  • 00:10:56.583 --> 00:10:58.418
  • THE DIFFERENCE IN PERSPECTIVEREALLY OF MEN AND WOMEN,
  • 00:10:58.418 --> 00:10:59.820
  • REALLY OF MEN AND WOMEN,AND THE THINGS THAT THEY NEED
  • 00:10:59.820 --> 00:11:00.754
  • AND THE THINGS THAT THEY NEEDPERSONALLY,
  • 00:11:00.754 --> 00:11:03.156
  • PERSONALLY,AND THE THINGS THAT THEY DO
  • 00:11:03.156 --> 00:11:04.791
  • AND THE THINGS THAT THEY DOTO TRY AND ATTAIN, YOU KNOW,
  • 00:11:04.791 --> 00:11:07.994
  • TO TRY AND ATTAIN, YOU KNOW,THE NECESSITY OF LOVE AND
  • 00:11:07.994 --> 00:11:09.463
  • THE NECESSITY OF LOVE ANDRESPECT IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
  • 00:11:09.463 --> 00:11:10.263
  • RESPECT IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I
  • 00:11:10.263 --> 00:11:10.831
  • ONE OF THE THINGS THAT INOTICED,
  • 00:11:10.831 --> 00:11:11.665
  • NOTICED,ESPECIALLY NOW THAT KENDAL
  • 00:11:11.665 --> 00:11:12.632
  • ESPECIALLY NOW THAT KENDALAND I ARE GETTING TO WHERE
  • 00:11:12.632 --> 00:11:14.668
  • AND I ARE GETTING TO WHEREWE HAVE A 13 YEAR OLD.
  • 00:11:14.668 --> 00:11:15.869
  • WE HAVE A 13 YEAR OLD.WE'RE GETTING READY TO HAVE
  • 00:11:15.869 --> 00:11:16.803
  • WE'RE GETTING READY TO HAVEA COUPLE OF TEENAGERS
  • 00:11:16.803 --> 00:11:18.004
  • A COUPLE OF TEENAGERSIN THE HOUSE.
  • 00:11:18.004 --> 00:11:19.740
  • IN THE HOUSE.YOU KNOW THE LOVE AND RESPECT
  • 00:11:19.740 --> 00:11:20.974
  • YOU KNOW THE LOVE AND RESPECTDYNAMIC IN TERMS OF THE WAY
  • 00:11:20.974 --> 00:11:22.809
  • DYNAMIC IN TERMS OF THE WAYWE PARENT; YOU KNOW?
  • 00:11:22.809 --> 00:11:23.944
  • WE PARENT; YOU KNOW?BECAUSE THERE ARE CERTAIN
  • 00:11:23.944 --> 00:11:25.345
  • BECAUSE THERE ARE CERTAINEXPECTATIONS THAT I HAVE OF OUR
  • 00:11:25.345 --> 00:11:28.682
  • EXPECTATIONS THAT I HAVE OF OURTWO SONS THAT MOM DOESN'T WANT
  • 00:11:28.682 --> 00:11:29.983
  • TWO SONS THAT MOM DOESN'T WANTTO FULLY ENFORCE
  • 00:11:29.983 --> 00:11:30.650
  • TO FULLY ENFORCEUPON THOSE BOYS,
  • 00:11:30.650 --> 00:11:31.718
  • UPON THOSE BOYS,BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE TOO HARD.
  • 00:11:31.718 --> 00:11:32.252
  • BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE TOO HARD.AND I'M GOING,
  • 00:11:32.252 --> 00:11:32.886
  • AND I'M GOING,"NO, IT'S NOT TOO HARD.
  • 00:11:32.886 --> 00:11:34.588
  • "NO, IT'S NOT TOO HARD.I WAS A BOY TOO.
  • 00:11:34.588 --> 00:11:35.856
  • I WAS A BOY TOO.I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY NEED."
  • 00:11:35.856 --> 00:11:36.556
  • I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY NEED."DR. EGGERICHS: EXACTLY.
  • 00:11:36.556 --> 00:11:37.891
  • DR. EGGERICHS: EXACTLY.MATT HAGEE: IN LIKE MANNER,
  • 00:11:37.891 --> 00:11:38.692
  • MATT HAGEE: IN LIKE MANNER,THERE ARE TIMES THAT I SEE
  • 00:11:38.692 --> 00:11:40.827
  • THERE ARE TIMES THAT I SEEKENDAL TOWARDS OUR DAUGHTERS,
  • 00:11:40.827 --> 00:11:41.228
  • KENDAL TOWARDS OUR DAUGHTERS,AND SAY,
  • 00:11:41.228 --> 00:11:42.028
  • AND SAY,"THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO."
  • 00:11:42.028 --> 00:11:42.629
  • "THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO."AND I'M LIKE,
  • 00:11:42.629 --> 00:11:43.830
  • AND I'M LIKE,"LEAVE MY BABY GIRL ALONE;"
  • 00:11:43.830 --> 00:11:44.464
  • "LEAVE MY BABY GIRL ALONE;"YOU KNOW?
  • 00:11:44.464 --> 00:11:45.365
  • YOU KNOW?I MEAN HOW DO YOU SEE THESE
  • 00:11:45.365 --> 00:11:46.700
  • I MEAN HOW DO YOU SEE THESEDYNAMICS OF LOVE AND RESPECT
  • 00:11:46.700 --> 00:11:47.334
  • DYNAMICS OF LOVE AND RESPECTIMPACT,
  • 00:11:47.334 --> 00:11:47.968
  • IMPACT,NOT JUST THE MARRIAGE
  • 00:11:47.968 --> 00:11:48.502
  • NOT JUST THE MARRIAGERELATIONSHIP,
  • 00:11:48.502 --> 00:11:50.203
  • RELATIONSHIP,BUT THE PARENTING RELATIONSHIP
  • 00:11:50.203 --> 00:11:51.838
  • BUT THE PARENTING RELATIONSHIPAND THE FAMILY DYNAMICS?
  • 00:11:51.838 --> 00:11:52.339
  • AND THE FAMILY DYNAMICS?DR. EGGERICHS: OH,
  • 00:11:52.339 --> 00:11:52.873
  • DR. EGGERICHS: OH,EXCELLENT QUESTION.
  • 00:11:52.873 --> 00:11:53.406
  • EXCELLENT QUESTION.AND I WROTE THE BOOK,
  • 00:11:53.406 --> 00:11:53.940
  • AND I WROTE THE BOOK,"LOVE AND RESPECT
  • 00:11:53.940 --> 00:11:54.941
  • "LOVE AND RESPECTIN THE FAMILY,"
  • 00:11:54.941 --> 00:11:55.876
  • IN THE FAMILY,"BECAUSE CHILDREN ARE CALLED
  • 00:11:55.876 --> 00:11:57.077
  • BECAUSE CHILDREN ARE CALLEDTO HONOR FATHER AND MOTHER.
  • 00:11:57.077 --> 00:11:58.378
  • TO HONOR FATHER AND MOTHER.WE KNOW THAT.
  • 00:11:58.378 --> 00:11:59.412
  • WE KNOW THAT.AND THERE'S NO DIRECT COMMAND
  • 00:11:59.412 --> 00:12:00.614
  • AND THERE'S NO DIRECT COMMANDOF SCRIPTURE THAT PARENTS
  • 00:12:00.614 --> 00:12:01.615
  • OF SCRIPTURE THAT PARENTSSHOULD LOVE THEIR CHILDREN.
  • 00:12:01.615 --> 00:12:02.415
  • SHOULD LOVE THEIR CHILDREN.BUT IT'S INHERIT.
  • 00:12:02.415 --> 00:12:03.416
  • BUT IT'S INHERIT.A FATHER HAS COMPASSION
  • 00:12:03.416 --> 00:12:04.384
  • A FATHER HAS COMPASSIONON HIS CHILDREN.
  • 00:12:04.384 --> 00:12:05.318
  • ON HIS CHILDREN.THE FATHER OF THE PRODIGAL
  • 00:12:05.318 --> 00:12:06.686
  • THE FATHER OF THE PRODIGALHAD COMPASSION.
  • 00:12:06.686 --> 00:12:09.122
  • HAD COMPASSION.AND THE LOVING AGAPE LOVE,
  • 00:12:09.122 --> 00:12:09.623
  • AND THE LOVING AGAPE LOVE,I SHOULD SAY.
  • 00:12:09.623 --> 00:12:10.891
  • I SHOULD SAY.THEN YOU HAVE TITUS 2 WHERE
  • 00:12:10.891 --> 00:12:11.691
  • THEN YOU HAVE TITUS 2 WHERETHE OLDER WOMEN ENCOURAGE
  • 00:12:11.691 --> 00:12:12.659
  • THE OLDER WOMEN ENCOURAGETHE YOUNGER WOMEN TO LOVE,
  • 00:12:12.659 --> 00:12:14.194
  • THE YOUNGER WOMEN TO LOVE,WHICH IS PHILEO.
  • 00:12:14.194 --> 00:12:15.729
  • WHICH IS PHILEO.SHE AGAPE LOVES HER CHILDREN.
  • 00:12:15.729 --> 00:12:16.296
  • SHE AGAPE LOVES HER CHILDREN.YOU SAY TO CHILDREN,
  • 00:12:16.296 --> 00:12:17.030
  • YOU SAY TO CHILDREN,"DOES YOUR MOMMY LOVE YOU?"
  • 00:12:17.030 --> 00:12:17.597
  • "DOES YOUR MOMMY LOVE YOU?"OH YEAH.
  • 00:12:17.597 --> 00:12:18.198
  • OH YEAH."DOES SHE LIKE YOU?"
  • 00:12:18.198 --> 00:12:20.133
  • "DOES SHE LIKE YOU?"NO, WE'VE BEEN BAD, BAD.
  • 00:12:20.133 --> 00:12:21.968
  • NO, WE'VE BEEN BAD, BAD.SO EVERYBODY KIND OF KNOWS
  • 00:12:21.968 --> 00:12:23.804
  • SO EVERYBODY KIND OF KNOWSTHAT SHE LOVES.
  • 00:12:23.804 --> 00:12:24.671
  • THAT SHE LOVES.I FIND THAT INTRIGUING.
  • 00:12:24.671 --> 00:12:25.972
  • I FIND THAT INTRIGUING.BUT THEN I SAW THE SAME KIND
  • 00:12:25.972 --> 00:12:27.407
  • BUT THEN I SAW THE SAME KINDOF DYNAMIC THAT IN THE SCHOOL,
  • 00:12:27.407 --> 00:12:28.275
  • OF DYNAMIC THAT IN THE SCHOOL,THE NUMBER ONE PROBLEM
  • 00:12:28.275 --> 00:12:29.843
  • THE NUMBER ONE PROBLEMIS WITH DISRESPECTFUL STUDENTS.
  • 00:12:29.843 --> 00:12:31.044
  • IS WITH DISRESPECTFUL STUDENTS.TEACHERS DON'T SAY THESE KIDS
  • 00:12:31.044 --> 00:12:32.512
  • TEACHERS DON'T SAY THESE KIDSARE UNLOVING.
  • 00:12:32.512 --> 00:12:33.380
  • ARE UNLOVING.THEY'RE NOT RESPECTFUL.
  • 00:12:33.380 --> 00:12:34.614
  • THEY'RE NOT RESPECTFUL.THEY'RE NOT REGARDING
  • 00:12:34.614 --> 00:12:35.248
  • THEY'RE NOT REGARDINGWHAT I'VE TOLD THEM TO DO.
  • 00:12:35.248 --> 00:12:36.616
  • WHAT I'VE TOLD THEM TO DO.PARENTS ARE THE SAME WAY.
  • 00:12:36.616 --> 00:12:37.117
  • PARENTS ARE THE SAME WAY.WE DON'T SAY,
  • 00:12:37.117 --> 00:12:38.518
  • WE DON'T SAY,"YOU'RE UNLOVING."
  • 00:12:38.518 --> 00:12:40.020
  • "YOU'RE UNLOVING."YOU'RE NOT BEING RESPECTFUL.
  • 00:12:40.020 --> 00:12:41.555
  • YOU'RE NOT BEING RESPECTFUL.BUT WE THEN GET THIS CHILD
  • 00:12:41.555 --> 00:12:42.022
  • BUT WE THEN GET THIS CHILDWHO SAYS,
  • 00:12:42.022 --> 00:12:43.256
  • WHO SAYS,"BUT YOU DON'T LOVE ME."
  • 00:12:43.256 --> 00:12:43.857
  • "BUT YOU DON'T LOVE ME."AND NOW WE'RE ON
  • 00:12:43.857 --> 00:12:45.659
  • AND NOW WE'RE ONTHE CRAZY CYCLE IN THE FAMILY.
  • 00:12:45.659 --> 00:12:46.293
  • THE CRAZY CYCLE IN THE FAMILY.YOU HAVE THE CHILDREN
  • 00:12:46.293 --> 00:12:47.761
  • YOU HAVE THE CHILDRENRESPONDING IN DISRESPECTFUL
  • 00:12:47.761 --> 00:12:48.662
  • RESPONDING IN DISRESPECTFULWAYS.
  • 00:12:48.662 --> 00:12:49.963
  • WAYS.THE PARENTS THEN INTERPRET IT
  • 00:12:49.963 --> 00:12:50.530
  • THE PARENTS THEN INTERPRET ITAS UNLOVING.
  • 00:12:50.530 --> 00:12:51.331
  • AS UNLOVING.AND WITHOUT LOVE,
  • 00:12:51.331 --> 00:12:52.899
  • AND WITHOUT LOVE,A CHILD REACTS WITHOUT RESPECT.
  • 00:12:52.899 --> 00:12:53.633
  • A CHILD REACTS WITHOUT RESPECT.AND WITHOUT RESPECT,
  • 00:12:53.633 --> 00:12:54.401
  • AND WITHOUT RESPECT,PARENTS REACT.
  • 00:12:54.401 --> 00:12:55.502
  • PARENTS REACT.AND THIS THING CAN GET CRAZY
  • 00:12:55.502 --> 00:12:58.038
  • AND THIS THING CAN GET CRAZYIN THE FAMILY AS WELL BASED ON
  • 00:12:58.038 --> 00:12:59.005
  • IN THE FAMILY AS WELL BASED ONHONOR FATHER AND MOTHER,
  • 00:12:59.005 --> 00:12:59.873
  • HONOR FATHER AND MOTHER,AND THESE DYNAMICS I JUST
  • 00:12:59.873 --> 00:13:01.341
  • AND THESE DYNAMICS I JUSTSET FORTH BIBLICALLY.
  • 00:13:01.341 --> 00:13:02.342
  • SET FORTH BIBLICALLY.BUT NOW TO YOUR POINT,
  • 00:13:02.342 --> 00:13:03.743
  • BUT NOW TO YOUR POINT,NOW YOU BEGIN TO HAVE THESE
  • 00:13:03.743 --> 00:13:04.945
  • NOW YOU BEGIN TO HAVE THESEBOYS BECOMING A LITTLE BIT
  • 00:13:04.945 --> 00:13:05.378
  • BOYS BECOMING A LITTLE BITOLDER.
  • 00:13:05.378 --> 00:13:06.079
  • OLDER.AND NOW YOU'RE BEGINNING
  • 00:13:06.079 --> 00:13:06.746
  • AND NOW YOU'RE BEGINNINGTO REALIZE THIS IS AN ISSUE
  • 00:13:06.746 --> 00:13:07.747
  • TO REALIZE THIS IS AN ISSUEOF HONOR AND RESPECT.
  • 00:13:07.747 --> 00:13:08.882
  • OF HONOR AND RESPECT.AND WE NEED TO BEGIN TO SPEAK
  • 00:13:08.882 --> 00:13:10.317
  • AND WE NEED TO BEGIN TO SPEAKTO THIS IN A FIRMER WAY
  • 00:13:10.317 --> 00:13:11.184
  • TO THIS IN A FIRMER WAYAND BE MORE DIRECT.
  • 00:13:11.184 --> 00:13:11.918
  • AND BE MORE DIRECT.AND SHE MIGHT FEEL,
  • 00:13:11.918 --> 00:13:14.354
  • AND SHE MIGHT FEEL,WELL THAT MAY BE TOO UNLOVING.
  • 00:13:14.354 --> 00:13:16.790
  • WELL THAT MAY BE TOO UNLOVING.AND YOU HAVE THESE DYNAMICS,
  • 00:13:16.790 --> 00:13:18.425
  • AND YOU HAVE THESE DYNAMICS,MALE/FEMALE, WITHIN THAT.
  • 00:13:18.425 --> 00:13:19.226
  • MALE/FEMALE, WITHIN THAT.AND ONE OF THE THINGS I WROTE
  • 00:13:19.226 --> 00:13:20.427
  • AND ONE OF THE THINGS I WROTEAS A MOTHER/SON BOOK,
  • 00:13:20.427 --> 00:13:21.895
  • AS A MOTHER/SON BOOK,COACHING MOTHERS ON HOW TO USE
  • 00:13:21.895 --> 00:13:23.496
  • COACHING MOTHERS ON HOW TO USERESPECT TALK WITH THEIR BOYS,
  • 00:13:23.496 --> 00:13:24.998
  • RESPECT TALK WITH THEIR BOYS,BECAUSE YOU NEED TO SPEAK
  • 00:13:24.998 --> 00:13:26.299
  • BECAUSE YOU NEED TO SPEAKTO THEM HONORABLY,
  • 00:13:26.299 --> 00:13:27.634
  • TO THEM HONORABLY,BUT ALSO APPEAL TO THAT SENSE
  • 00:13:27.634 --> 00:13:28.969
  • BUT ALSO APPEAL TO THAT SENSEOF HONOR.
  • 00:13:28.969 --> 00:13:29.569
  • OF HONOR.KENDAL HAGEE: YEAH.
  • 00:13:29.569 --> 00:13:30.337
  • KENDAL HAGEE: YEAH.DR. EGGERICHS: WHAT YOU JUST
  • 00:13:30.337 --> 00:13:31.171
  • DR. EGGERICHS: WHAT YOU JUSTDID WAS NOT HONORABLE; YET,
  • 00:13:31.171 --> 00:13:32.272
  • DID WAS NOT HONORABLE; YET,YOU'RE AN HONORABLE YOUNG MAN.
  • 00:13:32.272 --> 00:13:33.773
  • YOU'RE AN HONORABLE YOUNG MAN.TALK TO ME HERE FOR A MOMENT.
  • 00:13:33.773 --> 00:13:35.442
  • TALK TO ME HERE FOR A MOMENT.USING THAT VOCABULARY,
  • 00:13:35.442 --> 00:13:36.643
  • USING THAT VOCABULARY,AND WATCH THE DIFFERENT
  • 00:13:36.643 --> 00:13:38.011
  • AND WATCH THE DIFFERENTRESPONSE THERE.
  • 00:13:38.011 --> 00:13:38.778
  • RESPONSE THERE.BUT I THINK THE POINT YOU'RE
  • 00:13:38.778 --> 00:13:39.946
  • BUT I THINK THE POINT YOU'REMAKING TOO IS --
  • 00:13:39.946 --> 00:13:40.680
  • MAKING TOO IS --MATT HAGEE: ALMOST CALLING
  • 00:13:40.680 --> 00:13:42.215
  • MATT HAGEE: ALMOST CALLINGTHE MAN OUT OF THEM.
  • 00:13:42.215 --> 00:13:43.016
  • THE MAN OUT OF THEM.KENDAL HAGEE: AND THAT'S SO
  • 00:13:43.016 --> 00:13:44.117
  • KENDAL HAGEE: AND THAT'S SOTRUE, BECAUSE WE HAVE TWO SONS.
  • 00:13:44.117 --> 00:13:45.085
  • TRUE, BECAUSE WE HAVE TWO SONS.AND MY NINE YEAR OLD,
  • 00:13:45.085 --> 00:13:45.819
  • AND MY NINE YEAR OLD,WHEN I STARTED DOING
  • 00:13:45.819 --> 00:13:47.254
  • WHEN I STARTED DOINGTHE RESPECT TALK WITH HIM,
  • 00:13:47.254 --> 00:13:48.588
  • THE RESPECT TALK WITH HIM,IT CHANGED COMPLETELY.
  • 00:13:48.588 --> 00:13:49.256
  • IT CHANGED COMPLETELY.HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO BE
  • 00:13:49.256 --> 00:13:50.257
  • HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO BECUDDLING HIM,
  • 00:13:50.257 --> 00:13:51.324
  • CUDDLING HIM,"I LOVE YOU, BABY,"
  • 00:13:51.324 --> 00:13:51.992
  • "I LOVE YOU, BABY,"BECAUSE HE WOULD BE KIND
  • 00:13:51.992 --> 00:13:53.159
  • BECAUSE HE WOULD BE KINDOF LIKE, OKAY; MOM.
  • 00:13:53.159 --> 00:13:54.027
  • OF LIKE, OKAY; MOM.BUT ONCE I STARTED SAYING,
  • 00:13:54.027 --> 00:13:55.962
  • BUT ONCE I STARTED SAYING,"YOU ARE -- YOU'RE HONORABLE,
  • 00:13:55.962 --> 00:13:56.696
  • "YOU ARE -- YOU'RE HONORABLE,I RESPECT YOU,
  • 00:13:56.696 --> 00:13:57.797
  • I RESPECT YOU,YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE,
  • 00:13:57.797 --> 00:13:58.899
  • YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE,YOU'RE GOING TO GROW UP TO BE
  • 00:13:58.899 --> 00:14:00.367
  • YOU'RE GOING TO GROW UP TO BEJUST LIKE YOUR DADDY,
  • 00:14:00.367 --> 00:14:01.568
  • JUST LIKE YOUR DADDY,BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE,"
  • 00:14:01.568 --> 00:14:03.136
  • BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE,"IT CHANGED HIM COMPLETELY
  • 00:14:03.136 --> 00:14:04.070
  • IT CHANGED HIM COMPLETELYWHERE HE JUST KIND OF PUT
  • 00:14:04.070 --> 00:14:05.305
  • WHERE HE JUST KIND OF PUTHIS SHOULDERS BACK.
  • 00:14:05.305 --> 00:14:05.939
  • HIS SHOULDERS BACK.DR. EGGERICHS: THAT IS
  • 00:14:05.939 --> 00:14:06.439
  • DR. EGGERICHS: THAT ISTREMENDOUS, KENDAL.
  • 00:14:06.439 --> 00:14:07.474
  • TREMENDOUS, KENDAL.AND THAT'S BEEN THE TESTIMONY
  • 00:14:07.474 --> 00:14:08.608
  • AND THAT'S BEEN THE TESTIMONYOF THOUSANDS OF MOTHERS.
  • 00:14:08.608 --> 00:14:10.043
  • OF THOUSANDS OF MOTHERS.AND YOU STILL NEED TO LOVE
  • 00:14:10.043 --> 00:14:10.710
  • AND YOU STILL NEED TO LOVEON HIM.
  • 00:14:10.710 --> 00:14:11.444
  • ON HIM.AND IN FACT,
  • 00:14:11.444 --> 00:14:12.245
  • AND IN FACT,WHEN YOU GIVE HIM THE HONOR
  • 00:14:12.245 --> 00:14:13.079
  • WHEN YOU GIVE HIM THE HONORSTUFF,
  • 00:14:13.079 --> 00:14:14.247
  • STUFF,THEN THEY GET AFFECTIONATE,
  • 00:14:14.247 --> 00:14:15.582
  • THEN THEY GET AFFECTIONATE,A LITTLE MORE RESPONSIVE.
  • 00:14:15.582 --> 00:14:16.349
  • A LITTLE MORE RESPONSIVE.KENDAL HAGEE: OH, YEAH.
  • 00:14:16.349 --> 00:14:16.950
  • KENDAL HAGEE: OH, YEAH.HE'S LIKE,
  • 00:14:16.950 --> 00:14:17.517
  • HE'S LIKE,"GIVE ME A KISS AND A HUG."
  • 00:14:17.517 --> 00:14:18.084
  • "GIVE ME A KISS AND A HUG."DR. EGGERICHS: THERE YOU GO.
  • 00:14:18.084 --> 00:14:18.518
  • DR. EGGERICHS: THERE YOU GO.THERE YOU GO.
  • 00:14:18.518 --> 00:14:19.352
  • THERE YOU GO.IF IT'S ALL JUST THAT,
  • 00:14:19.352 --> 00:14:20.053
  • IF IT'S ALL JUST THAT,SO WE SAY TO MOTHERS,
  • 00:14:20.053 --> 00:14:21.221
  • SO WE SAY TO MOTHERS,"YOU'RE NOT DOING IT WRONG."
  • 00:14:21.221 --> 00:14:22.088
  • "YOU'RE NOT DOING IT WRONG."MOTHERS MOVE INTO SHAME REAL
  • 00:14:22.088 --> 00:14:22.756
  • MOTHERS MOVE INTO SHAME REALQUICKLY.
  • 00:14:22.756 --> 00:14:23.523
  • QUICKLY."YOU'RE NOT DOING WRONG.
  • 00:14:23.523 --> 00:14:24.591
  • "YOU'RE NOT DOING WRONG.YOU KEEP BEING THAT,
  • 00:14:24.591 --> 00:14:25.825
  • YOU KEEP BEING THAT,BUT LET'S ADD A FEW VOCABULARY
  • 00:14:25.825 --> 00:14:26.426
  • BUT LET'S ADD A FEW VOCABULARYWORDS,
  • 00:14:26.426 --> 00:14:27.360
  • WORDS,BECAUSE THAT WILL HELP YOU
  • 00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:28.395
  • BECAUSE THAT WILL HELP YOUCONNECT WITH HIM.
  • 00:14:28.395 --> 00:14:29.996
  • CONNECT WITH HIM.THAT WILL PULL HIM OUT."
  • 00:14:29.996 --> 00:14:31.731
  • THAT WILL PULL HIM OUT."BUT ALSO THE APPEAL IS TO LET
  • 00:14:31.731 --> 00:14:32.832
  • BUT ALSO THE APPEAL IS TO LETTHE DAD PARTICULARLY,
  • 00:14:32.832 --> 00:14:35.168
  • THE DAD PARTICULARLY,BE THE FATHER WHO UNDERSTANDS,
  • 00:14:35.168 --> 00:14:36.269
  • BE THE FATHER WHO UNDERSTANDS,AND BEGIN TO LET FATHERS
  • 00:14:36.269 --> 00:14:36.937
  • AND BEGIN TO LET FATHERSSPEAK TO THIS.
  • 00:14:36.937 --> 00:14:38.071
  • SPEAK TO THIS.ONE OF THE CONCERNS MOTHERS
  • 00:14:38.071 --> 00:14:38.705
  • ONE OF THE CONCERNS MOTHERSHAVE IS MY HUSBAND'S
  • 00:14:38.705 --> 00:14:39.639
  • HAVE IS MY HUSBAND'STOO PASSIVE.
  • 00:14:39.639 --> 00:14:40.607
  • TOO PASSIVE.THAT'S BECAUSE YOU KEEP TELLING
  • 00:14:40.607 --> 00:14:41.675
  • THAT'S BECAUSE YOU KEEP TELLINGHIM THAT WHAT HE'S DOING
  • 00:14:41.675 --> 00:14:42.676
  • HIM THAT WHAT HE'S DOINGIS WRONG.
  • 00:14:42.676 --> 00:14:43.410
  • IS WRONG.MATT HAGEE: SO HE JUST QUITS
  • 00:14:43.410 --> 00:14:44.144
  • MATT HAGEE: SO HE JUST QUITSTRYING.
  • 00:14:44.144 --> 00:14:44.844
  • TRYING.DR. EGGERICHS: HE DOES.
  • 00:14:44.844 --> 00:14:45.745
  • DR. EGGERICHS: HE DOES.MATT HAGEE: MEN DO NOT LIKE
  • 00:14:45.745 --> 00:14:47.347
  • MATT HAGEE: MEN DO NOT LIKETO DO WHAT THEY'RE BAD AT;
  • 00:14:47.347 --> 00:14:47.781
  • TO DO WHAT THEY'RE BAD AT;YOU KNOW?
  • 00:14:47.781 --> 00:14:49.249
  • YOU KNOW?I MEAN I KNOW A LOT OF GUYS,
  • 00:14:49.249 --> 00:14:50.317
  • I MEAN I KNOW A LOT OF GUYS,"OH, I DON'T DANCE."
  • 00:14:50.317 --> 00:14:50.784
  • "OH, I DON'T DANCE."AND I SAY,
  • 00:14:50.784 --> 00:14:51.384
  • AND I SAY,"WELL HAS ANYBODY EVER SHOWED
  • 00:14:51.384 --> 00:14:52.352
  • "WELL HAS ANYBODY EVER SHOWEDYOU HOW?"
  • 00:14:52.352 --> 00:14:53.219
  • YOU HOW?""WELL, NO."
  • 00:14:53.219 --> 00:14:54.654
  • "WELL, NO.""WELL IF SOMEBODY SHOWED YOU,
  • 00:14:54.654 --> 00:14:55.855
  • "WELL IF SOMEBODY SHOWED YOU,WOULD YOU?"
  • 00:14:55.855 --> 00:14:56.556
  • WOULD YOU?"AND THE REASON I BRING UP
  • 00:14:56.556 --> 00:14:58.425
  • AND THE REASON I BRING UPDANCING IS BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
  • 00:14:58.425 --> 00:14:59.392
  • DANCING IS BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,TYPICALLY WHEN YOU HAVE,
  • 00:14:59.392 --> 00:15:00.060
  • TYPICALLY WHEN YOU HAVE,YOU KNOW,
  • 00:15:00.060 --> 00:15:01.628
  • YOU KNOW,MARRIAGE CONVERSATIONS AND,
  • 00:15:01.628 --> 00:15:02.262
  • MARRIAGE CONVERSATIONS AND,YOU KNOW,
  • 00:15:02.262 --> 00:15:02.996
  • YOU KNOW,"WHAT IS SOMETHING THAT YOU
  • 00:15:02.996 --> 00:15:03.697
  • "WHAT IS SOMETHING THAT YOUWOULD LIKE TO DO THAT HE NEVER
  • 00:15:03.697 --> 00:15:04.097
  • WOULD LIKE TO DO THAT HE NEVERDOES?"
  • 00:15:04.097 --> 00:15:05.832
  • DOES?""HE NEVER TAKES ME DANCING;"
  • 00:15:05.832 --> 00:15:06.366
  • "HE NEVER TAKES ME DANCING;"YOU KNOW?
  • 00:15:06.366 --> 00:15:07.434
  • YOU KNOW?SHE WANTS TO GO DANCING.
  • 00:15:07.434 --> 00:15:08.268
  • SHE WANTS TO GO DANCING.HE DOESN'T DANCE.
  • 00:15:08.268 --> 00:15:09.169
  • HE DOESN'T DANCE.WELL WHY DOESN'T HE DANCE?
  • 00:15:09.169 --> 00:15:09.936
  • WELL WHY DOESN'T HE DANCE?NOBODY EVER SHOWED HIM HOW
  • 00:15:09.936 --> 00:15:10.370
  • NOBODY EVER SHOWED HIM HOWTO DANCE.
  • 00:15:10.370 --> 00:15:11.271
  • TO DANCE.CAN WE GIVE YOU AN INSTRUCTION
  • 00:15:11.271 --> 00:15:12.372
  • CAN WE GIVE YOU AN INSTRUCTIONMANUAL ON DANCING AND THEN
  • 00:15:12.372 --> 00:15:13.573
  • MANUAL ON DANCING AND THENWE CAN SOLVE THAT PROBLEM?
  • 00:15:13.573 --> 00:15:14.874
  • WE CAN SOLVE THAT PROBLEM?DR. EGGERICHS: YES.
  • 00:15:14.874 --> 00:15:15.775
  • DR. EGGERICHS: YES.HE DOES NOT WANT TO SUBJECT
  • 00:15:15.775 --> 00:15:17.110
  • HE DOES NOT WANT TO SUBJECTHIMSELF TO THE SHAME
  • 00:15:17.110 --> 00:15:18.078
  • HIMSELF TO THE SHAMEAND DISHONOR OF LOOKING LIKE
  • 00:15:18.078 --> 00:15:19.612
  • AND DISHONOR OF LOOKING LIKEAN IDIOT ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
  • 00:15:19.612 --> 00:15:20.313
  • AN IDIOT ON THE DANCE FLOOR.MATT HAGEE: TO THE
  • 00:15:20.313 --> 00:15:21.081
  • MATT HAGEE: TO THEEMBARRASSMENT OF I DON'T KNOW
  • 00:15:21.081 --> 00:15:21.781
  • EMBARRASSMENT OF I DON'T KNOWIF I CAN DO THIS.
  • 00:15:21.781 --> 00:15:22.415
  • IF I CAN DO THIS.DR. EGGERICHS: SO IT'S BETTER
  • 00:15:22.415 --> 00:15:22.983
  • DR. EGGERICHS: SO IT'S BETTERTO STAY AWAY.
  • 00:15:22.983 --> 00:15:23.616
  • TO STAY AWAY.AND THEN SHE CONCLUDES,
  • 00:15:23.616 --> 00:15:24.751
  • AND THEN SHE CONCLUDES,HE DOESN'T REALLY LOVE ME.
  • 00:15:24.751 --> 00:15:25.418
  • HE DOESN'T REALLY LOVE ME.AND SEE THAT'S EXACTLY
  • 00:15:25.418 --> 00:15:26.086
  • AND SEE THAT'S EXACTLYTHE POINT.
  • 00:15:26.086 --> 00:15:26.786
  • THE POINT.KENDAL HAGEE: THAT HAPPENS
  • 00:15:26.786 --> 00:15:27.520
  • KENDAL HAGEE: THAT HAPPENSWITH PARENTING TOO,
  • 00:15:27.520 --> 00:15:28.154
  • WITH PARENTING TOO,BECAUSE WE KIND OF BELITTLE
  • 00:15:28.154 --> 00:15:28.822
  • BECAUSE WE KIND OF BELITTLETHEM IN FRONT OF THE KIDS,
  • 00:15:28.822 --> 00:15:29.656
  • THEM IN FRONT OF THE KIDS,DISRESPECT THEM,
  • 00:15:29.656 --> 00:15:30.790
  • DISRESPECT THEM,AND THEN THEY JUST KIND
  • 00:15:30.790 --> 00:15:31.992
  • AND THEN THEY JUST KINDOF COMPLETELY SHUT OFF.
  • 00:15:31.992 --> 00:15:32.859
  • OF COMPLETELY SHUT OFF.MATT HAGEE: AND SOME OF
  • 00:15:32.859 --> 00:15:33.593
  • MATT HAGEE: AND SOME OFTHAT I THINK COMES FROM WHAT
  • 00:15:33.593 --> 00:15:34.661
  • THAT I THINK COMES FROM WHATI CALL, "YOUR NORMAL,"
  • 00:15:34.661 --> 00:15:35.562
  • I CALL, "YOUR NORMAL,"BECAUSE EVERY KID THINKS
  • 00:15:35.562 --> 00:15:36.796
  • BECAUSE EVERY KID THINKSTHAT THE HOUSE THEY GROW UP IN
  • 00:15:36.796 --> 00:15:37.797
  • THAT THE HOUSE THEY GROW UP INIS NORMAL.
  • 00:15:37.797 --> 00:15:38.898
  • IS NORMAL.NO MATTER HOW DYSFUNCTIONAL
  • 00:15:38.898 --> 00:15:40.200
  • NO MATTER HOW DYSFUNCTIONALIT IS, THAT'S THEIR NORMAL;
  • 00:15:40.200 --> 00:15:40.934
  • IT IS, THAT'S THEIR NORMAL;YOU KNOW?
  • 00:15:40.934 --> 00:15:41.634
  • YOU KNOW?WHEN KENDAL AND I GOT
  • 00:15:41.634 --> 00:15:42.469
  • WHEN KENDAL AND I GOTMARRIED --
  • 00:15:42.469 --> 00:15:43.570
  • MARRIED --YOU KNOW I GREW UP IN A HOUSE
  • 00:15:43.570 --> 00:15:45.238
  • YOU KNOW I GREW UP IN A HOUSEWHERE EVERY NIGHT BEFORE BED,
  • 00:15:45.238 --> 00:15:46.606
  • WHERE EVERY NIGHT BEFORE BED,DAD WOULD TELL US,
  • 00:15:46.606 --> 00:15:48.174
  • DAD WOULD TELL US,"THIS IS WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO
  • 00:15:48.174 --> 00:15:49.342
  • "THIS IS WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DOIN THE MORNING."
  • 00:15:49.342 --> 00:15:50.110
  • IN THE MORNING."AND THERE WAS NO QUESTION
  • 00:15:50.110 --> 00:15:51.378
  • AND THERE WAS NO QUESTIONABOUT THAT BECAUSE DAD SAID
  • 00:15:51.378 --> 00:15:52.112
  • ABOUT THAT BECAUSE DAD SAIDTHAT'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO
  • 00:15:52.112 --> 00:15:52.645
  • THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DOIN THE MORNING.
  • 00:15:52.645 --> 00:15:53.380
  • IN THE MORNING.AND THEN WHEN WE GOT MARRIED,
  • 00:15:53.380 --> 00:15:54.280
  • AND THEN WHEN WE GOT MARRIED,I'D TELL KENDAL,
  • 00:15:54.280 --> 00:15:55.081
  • I'D TELL KENDAL,"THIS IS WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO
  • 00:15:55.081 --> 00:15:55.582
  • "THIS IS WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DOIN THE MORNING."
  • 00:15:55.582 --> 00:15:56.816
  • IN THE MORNING."SHE'D GO, "REALLY?"
  • 00:15:56.816 --> 00:15:57.951
  • SHE'D GO, "REALLY?"(LAUGHTER)
  • 00:15:57.951 --> 00:15:58.785
  • (LAUGHTER)KENDAL HAGEE: WE ARE?
  • 00:15:58.785 --> 00:15:59.586
  • KENDAL HAGEE: WE ARE?WE TALKED ABOUT THIS?
  • 00:15:59.586 --> 00:16:01.621
  • WE TALKED ABOUT THIS?WE DIDN'T DISCUSS THIS BEFORE.
  • 00:16:01.621 --> 00:16:02.288
  • WE DIDN'T DISCUSS THIS BEFORE.MATT HAGEE: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
  • 00:16:02.288 --> 00:16:03.289
  • MATT HAGEE: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TOJUST SAY, "YES, SIR."
  • 00:16:03.289 --> 00:16:04.491
  • JUST SAY, "YES, SIR."WHY AREN'T YOU?
  • 00:16:04.491 --> 00:16:05.525
  • WHY AREN'T YOU?I'M LIKE, WELL WHAT'S
  • 00:16:05.525 --> 00:16:06.993
  • I'M LIKE, WELL WHAT'STHE DISCONNECT HERE?
  • 00:16:06.993 --> 00:16:08.061
  • THE DISCONNECT HERE?DR. EGGERICHS: YES, IT'S HUGE.
  • 00:16:08.061 --> 00:16:09.863
  • DR. EGGERICHS: YES, IT'S HUGE.AND THESE ARE INNOCENT THINGS
  • 00:16:09.863 --> 00:16:10.497
  • AND THESE ARE INNOCENT THINGSTHAT HAPPEN,
  • 00:16:10.497 --> 00:16:11.798
  • THAT HAPPEN,BUT NOW THE OTHER BEGINS TO
  • 00:16:11.798 --> 00:16:12.699
  • BUT NOW THE OTHER BEGINS TOFEEL DEVALUED;
  • 00:16:12.699 --> 00:16:13.533
  • FEEL DEVALUED;AM I NOT PART?
  • 00:16:13.533 --> 00:16:14.300
  • AM I NOT PART?AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?
  • 00:16:14.300 --> 00:16:15.568
  • AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?
  • 00:16:15.568 --> 00:16:16.136
  • WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?AND THAT'S WHY ONE OF
  • 00:16:16.136 --> 00:16:18.204
  • AND THAT'S WHY ONE OFTHE OFFERS I MAKE IS WE'RE ALL
  • 00:16:18.204 --> 00:16:19.372
  • THE OFFERS I MAKE IS WE'RE ALLGOING TO HAVE THESE CONFLICTS.
  • 00:16:19.372 --> 00:16:20.073
  • GOING TO HAVE THESE CONFLICTS.IN FACT PAUL SAYS
  • 00:16:20.073 --> 00:16:21.274
  • IN FACT PAUL SAYSIN 1 CORINTHIANS 7:28,
  • 00:16:21.274 --> 00:16:21.808
  • IN 1 CORINTHIANS 7:28,"IF YOU MARRY,
  • 00:16:21.808 --> 00:16:22.375
  • "IF YOU MARRY,YOU HAVE NOT SINNED,
  • 00:16:22.375 --> 00:16:24.344
  • YOU HAVE NOT SINNED,BUT YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE."
  • 00:16:24.344 --> 00:16:25.345
  • BUT YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE."SO THAT THAT'S GOING TO BE
  • 00:16:25.345 --> 00:16:25.845
  • SO THAT THAT'S GOING TO BEPART.
  • 00:16:25.845 --> 00:16:26.713
  • PART.I CALL IT "THE 80/20."
  • 00:16:26.713 --> 00:16:27.380
  • I CALL IT "THE 80/20."TWENTY PERCENT IS JUST GOING
  • 00:16:27.380 --> 00:16:28.615
  • TWENTY PERCENT IS JUST GOINGTO HAVE NORMAL TROUBLE.
  • 00:16:28.615 --> 00:16:29.482
  • TO HAVE NORMAL TROUBLE.AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS,
  • 00:16:29.482 --> 00:16:31.084
  • AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS,RATHER THAN BECOMING UNLOVING
  • 00:16:31.084 --> 00:16:32.452
  • RATHER THAN BECOMING UNLOVINGAND DISRESPECTFUL,
  • 00:16:32.452 --> 00:16:33.887
  • AND DISRESPECTFUL,SHOWING DISRESPECT TOWARD HIM,
  • 00:16:33.887 --> 00:16:34.487
  • SHOWING DISRESPECT TOWARD HIM,REACTING TO HER IN AN UNLOVING
  • 00:16:34.487 --> 00:16:35.622
  • REACTING TO HER IN AN UNLOVINGWAY; REMIND OURSELVES.
  • 00:16:35.622 --> 00:16:36.556
  • WAY; REMIND OURSELVES.OKAY.
  • 00:16:36.556 --> 00:16:38.458
  • OKAY.WE'RE HAVING THIS 20% MOMENT.
  • 00:16:38.458 --> 00:16:39.292
  • WE'RE HAVING THIS 20% MOMENT.IT'S THE TROUBLE THAT WE'RE
  • 00:16:39.292 --> 00:16:39.926
  • IT'S THE TROUBLE THAT WE'REGOING TO HAVE.
  • 00:16:39.926 --> 00:16:41.394
  • GOING TO HAVE.IT'S IMPORTANT THAT MY DEMEANOR
  • 00:16:41.394 --> 00:16:42.462
  • IT'S IMPORTANT THAT MY DEMEANORBE LOVING AND RESPECTFUL,
  • 00:16:42.462 --> 00:16:43.830
  • BE LOVING AND RESPECTFUL,AS WE DEBATE THIS ISSUE.
  • 00:16:43.830 --> 00:16:44.297
  • AS WE DEBATE THIS ISSUE.AND YOU CAN SAY,
  • 00:16:44.297 --> 00:16:45.799
  • AND YOU CAN SAY,"I DON'T LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW.
  • 00:16:45.799 --> 00:16:47.067
  • "I DON'T LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW.BUT YOU'RE MY FRIEND.
  • 00:16:47.067 --> 00:16:47.801
  • BUT YOU'RE MY FRIEND.WE ARE ALLIES."
  • 00:16:47.801 --> 00:16:48.401
  • WE ARE ALLIES."I SAY THIS TO SARAH,
  • 00:16:48.401 --> 00:16:50.070
  • I SAY THIS TO SARAH,"WE'RE NOT ENEMIES.
  • 00:16:50.070 --> 00:16:51.137
  • "WE'RE NOT ENEMIES.LET'S JUST REMIND OURSELVES WE
  • 00:16:51.137 --> 00:16:52.172
  • LET'S JUST REMIND OURSELVES WEHAVE GOOD WILL.
  • 00:16:52.172 --> 00:16:53.339
  • HAVE GOOD WILL.I KNOW I'M A HUNDRED PERCENT
  • 00:16:53.339 --> 00:16:53.840
  • I KNOW I'M A HUNDRED PERCENTRIGHT,
  • 00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:54.507
  • RIGHT,BUT I KNOW THAT'S REALLY
  • 00:16:54.507 --> 00:16:55.675
  • BUT I KNOW THAT'S REALLYFOOLISH TO SAY THAT,"
  • 00:16:55.675 --> 00:16:57.410
  • FOOLISH TO SAY THAT,"BUT IN HUMOR A LITTLE BIT.
  • 00:16:57.410 --> 00:16:58.111
  • BUT IN HUMOR A LITTLE BIT.KENDAL HAGEE: YEAH,
  • 00:16:58.111 --> 00:16:59.179
  • KENDAL HAGEE: YEAH,BECAUSE IT HELPS.
  • 00:16:59.179 --> 00:16:59.879
  • BECAUSE IT HELPS.DR. EGGERICHS: AND WE SAY
  • 00:16:59.879 --> 00:17:00.380
  • DR. EGGERICHS: AND WE SAYTO PEOPLE,
  • 00:17:00.380 --> 00:17:01.014
  • TO PEOPLE,"DON'T BE AFRAID
  • 00:17:01.014 --> 00:17:01.648
  • "DON'T BE AFRAIDOF DOING THAT."
  • 00:17:01.648 --> 00:17:02.415
  • OF DOING THAT."SOMEHOW WE HAVE THIS
  • 00:17:02.415 --> 00:17:03.316
  • SOMEHOW WE HAVE THISIDEA THAT EVERYTHING
  • 00:17:03.316 --> 00:17:03.917
  • IDEA THAT EVERYTHINGSHOULD BE PERFECT;
  • 00:17:03.917 --> 00:17:04.717
  • SHOULD BE PERFECT;THAT WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE
  • 00:17:04.717 --> 00:17:05.618
  • THAT WE SHOULD NEVER HAVEANY CONFLICT.
  • 00:17:05.618 --> 00:17:06.286
  • ANY CONFLICT.KENDAL HAGEE: NO,
  • 00:17:06.286 --> 00:17:07.253
  • KENDAL HAGEE: NO,YOU HAVE INTENSE FELLOWSHIP.
  • 00:17:07.253 --> 00:17:08.421
  • YOU HAVE INTENSE FELLOWSHIP.DR. EGGERICHS: 1 CORINTHIANS 7.
  • 00:17:08.421 --> 00:17:09.055
  • DR. EGGERICHS: 1 CORINTHIANS 7.KENDAL HAGEE: WHAT HELPED ME
  • 00:17:09.055 --> 00:17:09.956
  • KENDAL HAGEE: WHAT HELPED MEWAS LIKE TELLING HIM THAT
  • 00:17:09.956 --> 00:17:12.659
  • WAS LIKE TELLING HIM THATYOU HAVE 51% RESPONSIBILITY
  • 00:17:12.659 --> 00:17:14.027
  • YOU HAVE 51% RESPONSIBILITYAND AUTHORITY OVER THE FAMILY
  • 00:17:14.027 --> 00:17:14.527
  • AND AUTHORITY OVER THE FAMILYAND ME."
  • 00:17:14.527 --> 00:17:15.628
  • AND ME."AND IT REALLY LIFTED A BURDEN
  • 00:17:15.628 --> 00:17:16.296
  • AND IT REALLY LIFTED A BURDENOFF OF ME.
  • 00:17:16.296 --> 00:17:17.730
  • OFF OF ME.I THOUGHT I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE
  • 00:17:17.730 --> 00:17:19.299
  • I THOUGHT I DON'T HAVE TO TAKECHARGE LIKE MOTHERING YOU
  • 00:17:19.299 --> 00:17:20.700
  • CHARGE LIKE MOTHERING YOULIKE ANOTHER CHILD.
  • 00:17:20.700 --> 00:17:22.102
  • LIKE ANOTHER CHILD.YOU'VE GOT 51%.
  • 00:17:22.102 --> 00:17:23.236
  • YOU'VE GOT 51%.DR. EGGERICHS: YES.
  • 00:17:23.236 --> 00:17:23.970
  • DR. EGGERICHS: YES.KENDAL HAGEE: I'M GLAD.
  • 00:17:23.970 --> 00:17:24.804
  • KENDAL HAGEE: I'M GLAD.MATT HAGEE: AT WHICH POINT,
  • 00:17:24.804 --> 00:17:25.405
  • MATT HAGEE: AT WHICH POINT,I SAID,
  • 00:17:25.405 --> 00:17:26.005
  • I SAID,"SO THEN LET ME HAVE IT."
  • 00:17:26.005 --> 00:17:26.973
  • "SO THEN LET ME HAVE IT."(LAUGHTER)
  • 00:17:26.973 --> 00:17:27.640
  • (LAUGHTER)KENDAL HAGEE: THEN IT'S LIKE,
  • 00:17:27.640 --> 00:17:28.775
  • KENDAL HAGEE: THEN IT'S LIKE,"OKAY. I'M SUBMITTING."
  • 00:17:28.775 --> 00:17:29.709
  • "OKAY. I'M SUBMITTING."MATT HAGEE: IF THAT'S WHAT
  • 00:17:29.709 --> 00:17:30.243
  • MATT HAGEE: IF THAT'S WHATTHE STOCK REPORT SAYS,
  • 00:17:30.243 --> 00:17:31.411
  • THE STOCK REPORT SAYS,"THEN GIVE ME THE VOTE."
  • 00:17:31.411 --> 00:17:32.011
  • "THEN GIVE ME THE VOTE."DR. EGGERICHS: EXACTLY.
  • 00:17:32.011 --> 00:17:32.879
  • DR. EGGERICHS: EXACTLY.THAT'S RIGHT.
  • 00:17:32.879 --> 00:17:33.580
  • THAT'S RIGHT.KENDAL HAGEE: IN YOUR BOOK,
  • 00:17:33.580 --> 00:17:34.280
  • KENDAL HAGEE: IN YOUR BOOK,YOU SAID THAT, "PROCLAIM THAT.
  • 00:17:34.280 --> 00:17:35.048
  • YOU SAID THAT, "PROCLAIM THAT.TELL YOUR HUSBAND."
  • 00:17:35.048 --> 00:17:35.682
  • TELL YOUR HUSBAND."DR. EGGERICHS: AND THAT
  • 00:17:35.682 --> 00:17:36.449
  • DR. EGGERICHS: AND THATFREES UP THE DEBATE.
  • 00:17:36.449 --> 00:17:37.150
  • FREES UP THE DEBATE.KENDAL HAGEE: YES.
  • 00:17:37.150 --> 00:17:37.884
  • KENDAL HAGEE: YES.DR. EGGERICHS: BECAUSE AND
  • 00:17:37.884 --> 00:17:38.785
  • DR. EGGERICHS: BECAUSE ANDI THINK ALSO WOMEN FEEL
  • 00:17:38.785 --> 00:17:39.519
  • I THINK ALSO WOMEN FEELTHEY'RE SAYING THAT MEN HAVE
  • 00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:40.353
  • THEY'RE SAYING THAT MEN HAVE99%.
  • 00:17:40.353 --> 00:17:41.354
  • 99%.NO, THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
  • 00:17:41.354 --> 00:17:42.288
  • NO, THAT'S NOT THE POINT.BUT THERE IS -- IF HE'S
  • 00:17:42.288 --> 00:17:44.290
  • BUT THERE IS -- IF HE'SRESPONSIBLE TO DIE FOR YOU,
  • 00:17:44.290 --> 00:17:44.958
  • RESPONSIBLE TO DIE FOR YOU,THEN THERE HAS TO BE
  • 00:17:44.958 --> 00:17:45.825
  • THEN THERE HAS TO BECOMMENSURATE AUTHORITY
  • 00:17:45.825 --> 00:17:46.593
  • COMMENSURATE AUTHORITYWITH THAT.
  • 00:17:46.593 --> 00:17:47.694
  • WITH THAT.LEADERSHIP 101: IF YOU GIVE
  • 00:17:47.694 --> 00:17:49.062
  • LEADERSHIP 101: IF YOU GIVESOMEONE PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY,
  • 00:17:49.062 --> 00:17:49.729
  • SOMEONE PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY,YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM
  • 00:17:49.729 --> 00:17:50.864
  • YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEMTHE COMMENSURATE AUTHORITY.
  • 00:17:50.864 --> 00:17:51.865
  • THE COMMENSURATE AUTHORITY.AND WHAT FRUSTRATES MEN
  • 00:17:51.865 --> 00:17:52.899
  • AND WHAT FRUSTRATES MENAND CAUSE THEM TO SHUT DOWN IS
  • 00:17:52.899 --> 00:17:54.200
  • AND CAUSE THEM TO SHUT DOWN ISYOU HOLD ME RESPONSIBLE.
  • 00:17:54.200 --> 00:17:55.702
  • YOU HOLD ME RESPONSIBLE.BUT THE MINUTE I SAY,
  • 00:17:55.702 --> 00:17:56.803
  • BUT THE MINUTE I SAY,"I THINK WE SHOULD DO THIS"
  • 00:17:56.803 --> 00:17:58.171
  • "I THINK WE SHOULD DO THIS"AND YOU DON'T AGREE WITH IT,
  • 00:17:58.171 --> 00:17:58.771
  • AND YOU DON'T AGREE WITH IT,NOW YOU TELL ME,
  • 00:17:58.771 --> 00:17:59.539
  • NOW YOU TELL ME,"YOU CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE
  • 00:17:59.539 --> 00:18:00.306
  • "YOU CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSEWE'RE EQUAL."
  • 00:18:00.306 --> 00:18:02.075
  • WE'RE EQUAL."AND YOU EXERCISE VETO POWER.
  • 00:18:02.075 --> 00:18:02.909
  • AND YOU EXERCISE VETO POWER.AND SO WHAT MEN DO IS THEY
  • 00:18:02.909 --> 00:18:04.144
  • AND SO WHAT MEN DO IS THEYBECOME MORE AND MORE PASSIVE.
  • 00:18:04.144 --> 00:18:04.744
  • BECOME MORE AND MORE PASSIVE.WELL, I DON'T WANT TO ARGUE
  • 00:18:04.744 --> 00:18:05.311
  • WELL, I DON'T WANT TO ARGUEWITH YOU.
  • 00:18:05.311 --> 00:18:05.879
  • WITH YOU.THEN YOU'RE GOING WEAR
  • 00:18:05.879 --> 00:18:06.579
  • THEN YOU'RE GOING WEARTHE PANTS.
  • 00:18:06.579 --> 00:18:07.447
  • THE PANTS.AND ALL THESE THINGS WE HEAR;
  • 00:18:07.447 --> 00:18:08.148
  • AND ALL THESE THINGS WE HEAR;RIGHT?
  • 00:18:08.148 --> 00:18:08.748
  • RIGHT?BUT IF YOU SAY,
  • 00:18:08.748 --> 00:18:10.216
  • BUT IF YOU SAY,"YOU HAVE 51% RESPONSIBILITY.
  • 00:18:10.216 --> 00:18:11.050
  • "YOU HAVE 51% RESPONSIBILITY.I DON'T KNOW HOW FULLY TO DO
  • 00:18:11.050 --> 00:18:11.651
  • I DON'T KNOW HOW FULLY TO DOTHIS.
  • 00:18:11.651 --> 00:18:12.819
  • THIS.I DON'T WANT TO DISHONOR YOU.
  • 00:18:12.819 --> 00:18:13.620
  • I DON'T WANT TO DISHONOR YOU.I'M GOING TO DEBATE WITH YOU.
  • 00:18:13.620 --> 00:18:14.654
  • I'M GOING TO DEBATE WITH YOU.BUT PLEASE KNOW I'M NOT TRYING
  • 00:18:14.654 --> 00:18:15.755
  • BUT PLEASE KNOW I'M NOT TRYINGTO WEAR THE PANTS WHEN I DIFFER
  • 00:18:15.755 --> 00:18:16.289
  • TO WEAR THE PANTS WHEN I DIFFERWITH YOU,
  • 00:18:16.289 --> 00:18:17.290
  • WITH YOU,BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONE
  • 00:18:17.290 --> 00:18:17.991
  • BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONEIN CHARGE.
  • 00:18:17.991 --> 00:18:18.625
  • IN CHARGE.BUT I'M GOING TO DEBATE
  • 00:18:18.625 --> 00:18:19.125
  • BUT I'M GOING TO DEBATEWITH YOU.
  • 00:18:19.125 --> 00:18:20.126
  • WITH YOU.CAN WE HAVE THAT AS A RULE
  • 00:18:20.126 --> 00:18:21.060
  • CAN WE HAVE THAT AS A RULEOF ENGAGEMENT?"
  • 00:18:21.060 --> 00:18:22.595
  • OF ENGAGEMENT?"AND MOST MEN THAT I'VE MET WILL
  • 00:18:22.595 --> 00:18:23.630
  • AND MOST MEN THAT I'VE MET WILLSTAY ENGAGED.
  • 00:18:23.630 --> 00:18:24.397
  • STAY ENGAGED.MATT HAGEE: WE CAN DEBATE AS
  • 00:18:24.397 --> 00:18:25.198
  • MATT HAGEE: WE CAN DEBATE ASLONG AS WHEN THE DEBATE IS
  • 00:18:25.198 --> 00:18:27.734
  • LONG AS WHEN THE DEBATE ISOVER, THIS IS THE DECISION.
  • 00:18:27.734 --> 00:18:29.068
  • OVER, THIS IS THE DECISION.DR. EGGERICHS: AND AS LONG AS
  • 00:18:29.068 --> 00:18:30.537
  • DR. EGGERICHS: AND AS LONG ASWE SAY, "OKAY.
  • 00:18:30.537 --> 00:18:31.971
  • WE SAY, "OKAY.IF I MAKE A MISTAKE,
  • 00:18:31.971 --> 00:18:33.006
  • IF I MAKE A MISTAKE,I'M GOING TO COME BACK AND SEEK
  • 00:18:33.006 --> 00:18:33.573
  • I'M GOING TO COME BACK AND SEEKYOUR FORGIVENESS,
  • 00:18:33.573 --> 00:18:35.375
  • YOUR FORGIVENESS,BECAUSE I REALLY WAS WRONG."
  • 00:18:35.375 --> 00:18:36.509
  • BECAUSE I REALLY WAS WRONG."THAT WE PUT THAT AS A PART
  • 00:18:36.509 --> 00:18:37.810
  • THAT WE PUT THAT AS A PARTOF IT.
  • 00:18:37.810 --> 00:18:39.412
  • OF IT.THAT WILL FREE THE WOMAN UP,
  • 00:18:39.412 --> 00:18:40.213
  • THAT WILL FREE THE WOMAN UP,BECAUSE OTHERWISE,
  • 00:18:40.213 --> 00:18:42.115
  • BECAUSE OTHERWISE,THERE'S THIS FEAR THAT, OKAY,
  • 00:18:42.115 --> 00:18:42.982
  • THERE'S THIS FEAR THAT, OKAY,WE CAN DEBATE ALL DAY LONG,
  • 00:18:42.982 --> 00:18:43.917
  • WE CAN DEBATE ALL DAY LONG,BUT I'M GOING TO GO MY WAY.
  • 00:18:43.917 --> 00:18:45.485
  • BUT I'M GOING TO GO MY WAY.SO NOW I MAKE A HUNDRED PERCENT
  • 00:18:45.485 --> 00:18:46.152
  • SO NOW I MAKE A HUNDRED PERCENTOF THE DECISIONS.
  • 00:18:46.152 --> 00:18:48.021
  • OF THE DECISIONS.AND WOMEN JUST LOCK UP ON THAT.
  • 00:18:48.021 --> 00:18:49.189
  • AND WOMEN JUST LOCK UP ON THAT.SO WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY TO THEM,
  • 00:18:49.189 --> 00:18:50.757
  • SO WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY TO THEM,"HONEY, I CAN BE WRONG ON THIS.
  • 00:18:50.757 --> 00:18:51.424
  • "HONEY, I CAN BE WRONG ON THIS.AND IF I AM,
  • 00:18:51.424 --> 00:18:52.025
  • AND IF I AM,I'M GOING TO COME BACK
  • 00:18:52.025 --> 00:18:53.059
  • I'M GOING TO COME BACKAND SEEK YOUR FORGIVENESS."
  • 00:18:53.059 --> 00:18:53.893
  • AND SEEK YOUR FORGIVENESS."MATT HAGEE: AND WHEN IT COMES
  • 00:18:53.893 --> 00:18:54.460
  • MATT HAGEE: AND WHEN IT COMESTO DECISIONS,
  • 00:18:54.460 --> 00:18:55.695
  • TO DECISIONS,WE WANT YOU TO DECIDE TO STAY
  • 00:18:55.695 --> 00:18:56.196
  • WE WANT YOU TO DECIDE TO STAYWITH US,
  • 00:18:56.196 --> 00:18:56.930
  • WITH US,BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO BE
  • 00:18:56.930 --> 00:18:57.997
  • BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO BERIGHT BACK WITH MORE
  • 00:18:57.997 --> 00:18:58.798
  • RIGHT BACK WITH MOREFROM DR. EGGERICHS.
  • 00:18:58.798 --> 00:18:59.899
  • FROM DR. EGGERICHS.AND WE'RE GOING TO DISCUSS
  • 00:18:59.899 --> 00:19:02.001
  • AND WE'RE GOING TO DISCUSS"HOW CULTURE HAS IMPACTED THE
  • 00:19:02.001 --> 00:19:04.070
  • "HOW CULTURE HAS IMPACTED THERELATIONSHIP OF MAN AND WIFE,
  • 00:19:04.070 --> 00:19:05.338
  • RELATIONSHIP OF MAN AND WIFE,PARENTS AND CHILDREN,"
  • 00:19:05.338 --> 00:19:05.972
  • PARENTS AND CHILDREN,"BECAUSE MANY OF YOU ARE
  • 00:19:05.972 --> 00:19:07.106
  • BECAUSE MANY OF YOU AREWATCHING AND YOU'RE WONDERING,
  • 00:19:07.106 --> 00:19:08.241
  • WATCHING AND YOU'RE WONDERING,HOW CAN I MAKE A CHANGE?
  • 00:19:08.241 --> 00:19:09.008
  • HOW CAN I MAKE A CHANGE?WE'RE GOING TO DISCUSS THAT
  • 00:19:09.008 --> 00:19:09.742
  • WE'RE GOING TO DISCUSS THATWHEN WE COME BACK.
  • 00:19:09.742 --> 00:19:10.476
  • WHEN WE COME BACK.DON'T GO AWAY.
  • 00:19:10.476 --> 00:19:11.010
  • DON'T GO AWAY.YOU'RE WATCHING
  • 00:19:11.010 --> 00:19:12.045
  • YOU'RE WATCHINGTHE DIFFERENCE."
  • 00:19:12.045 --> 00:19:15.014
  • THE DIFFERENCE."♪ MUSIC ♪
  • 00:19:15.014 --> 00:19:17.250
  • ♪ MUSIC ♪EMBRACE WOMEN'S CONFERENCE 2020
  • 00:19:17.250 --> 00:19:18.751
  • EMBRACE WOMEN'S CONFERENCE 2020FEATURING A GROUP OF DYNAMIC,
  • 00:19:18.751 --> 00:19:19.719
  • FEATURING A GROUP OF DYNAMIC,SPIRIT-LED LEADERS
  • 00:19:19.719 --> 00:19:20.286
  • SPIRIT-LED LEADERSWITH A VOICE
  • 00:19:20.286 --> 00:19:21.588
  • WITH A VOICEFROM EVERY GENERATION,
  • 00:19:21.588 --> 00:19:22.355
  • FROM EVERY GENERATION,HOSTED BY KENDAL
  • 00:19:22.355 --> 00:19:23.423
  • HOSTED BY KENDALAND DIANA HAGEE.
  • 00:19:23.423 --> 00:19:24.591
  • AND DIANA HAGEE.GUEST SPEAKERS INCLUDE
  • 00:19:24.591 --> 00:19:25.325
  • GUEST SPEAKERS INCLUDEBEST-SELLING AUTHOR,
  • 00:19:25.325 --> 00:19:26.459
  • BEST-SELLING AUTHOR,LYSA TERKEURST;
  • 00:19:26.459 --> 00:19:27.427
  • LYSA TERKEURST;GRAMMY-AWARD NOMINEE,
  • 00:19:27.427 --> 00:19:28.294
  • GRAMMY-AWARD NOMINEE,KARI JOBE;
  • 00:19:28.294 --> 00:19:29.495
  • KARI JOBE;FOUNDER OF PINKY PROMISE,
  • 00:19:29.495 --> 00:19:30.330
  • FOUNDER OF PINKY PROMISE,HEATHER LINDSEY;
  • 00:19:30.330 --> 00:19:31.731
  • HEATHER LINDSEY;AND CREATOR OF RUSTIC CUFF,
  • 00:19:31.731 --> 00:19:32.865
  • AND CREATOR OF RUSTIC CUFF,JILL DONOVAN.
  • 00:19:32.865 --> 00:19:33.933
  • JILL DONOVAN.YOU'RE INVITED TO THE UNVEILING
  • 00:19:33.933 --> 00:19:35.468
  • YOU'RE INVITED TO THE UNVEILINGOF THE EMBRACE MARKETPLACE,
  • 00:19:35.468 --> 00:19:37.003
  • OF THE EMBRACE MARKETPLACE,A ONE-OF-A-KIND EXPERIENCE.
  • 00:19:37.003 --> 00:19:37.870
  • A ONE-OF-A-KIND EXPERIENCE.FINISH OUT THE WEEKEND
  • 00:19:37.870 --> 00:19:38.805
  • FINISH OUT THE WEEKENDWITH AN UNFORGETTABLE
  • 00:19:38.805 --> 00:19:39.706
  • WITH AN UNFORGETTABLEAFTER PARTY.
  • 00:19:39.706 --> 00:19:40.940
  • AFTER PARTY.SECURE YOUR SEAT TODAY,
  • 00:19:40.940 --> 00:19:41.541
  • SECURE YOUR SEAT TODAY,AND GO TO
  • 00:19:41.541 --> 00:19:47.347
  • AND GO TOSACORNERSTONE.ORG/EMBRACED.SEE E
  • 00:19:47.347 --> 00:19:48.848
  • SACORNERSTONE.ORG/EMBRACED.SEE EBY STANDING IN THE VERY PLACES
  • 00:19:48.848 --> 00:19:49.582
  • BY STANDING IN THE VERY PLACESWHERE THE STORIES
  • 00:19:49.582 --> 00:19:50.917
  • WHERE THE STORIESOF THE HOLY SCRIPTURES
  • 00:19:50.917 --> 00:19:52.352
  • OF THE HOLY SCRIPTURESUNFOLDED.
  • 00:19:52.352 --> 00:19:53.453
  • UNFOLDED.JOIN PASTORS JOHN
  • 00:19:53.453 --> 00:19:54.520
  • JOIN PASTORS JOHNAND MATT HAGEE
  • 00:19:54.520 --> 00:19:56.022
  • AND MATT HAGEEON THIS EXTRAORDINARY TOUR
  • 00:19:56.022 --> 00:19:57.490
  • ON THIS EXTRAORDINARY TOUROF THE HOLY LAND.
  • 00:19:57.490 --> 00:19:59.092
  • OF THE HOLY LAND.VISIT HISTORICAL SITES
  • 00:19:59.092 --> 00:20:01.194
  • VISIT HISTORICAL SITESSUCH AS THE MOUNT OF BEATITUDES
  • 00:20:01.194 --> 00:20:02.195
  • SUCH AS THE MOUNT OF BEATITUDESWHERE JESUS DELIVERED
  • 00:20:02.195 --> 00:20:03.896
  • WHERE JESUS DELIVEREDTHE SERMON ON THE MOUNT.
  • 00:20:03.896 --> 00:20:04.998
  • THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT.SAIL ON THE BEAUTIFUL
  • 00:20:04.998 --> 00:20:06.366
  • SAIL ON THE BEAUTIFULSEA OF GALILEE
  • 00:20:06.366 --> 00:20:08.234
  • SEA OF GALILEEWHERE JESUS CALMED THE STORM
  • 00:20:08.234 --> 00:20:09.902
  • WHERE JESUS CALMED THE STORMAND FED THE MULTITUDES.
  • 00:20:09.902 --> 00:20:11.738
  • AND FED THE MULTITUDES.FEEL THE PRESENCE OF GOD
  • 00:20:11.738 --> 00:20:12.705
  • FEEL THE PRESENCE OF GODAS YOU WALK THE STREETS
  • 00:20:12.705 --> 00:20:13.906
  • AS YOU WALK THE STREETSOF JERUSALEM,
  • 00:20:13.906 --> 00:20:16.075
  • OF JERUSALEM,AND PRAY AT THE WESTERN WALL,
  • 00:20:16.075 --> 00:20:17.377
  • AND PRAY AT THE WESTERN WALL,AND FLOAT UPON THE WATERS
  • 00:20:17.377 --> 00:20:19.145
  • AND FLOAT UPON THE WATERSOF THE DEAD SEA.
  • 00:20:19.145 --> 00:20:20.813
  • OF THE DEAD SEA.ALL OF THIS AND MUCH MORE
  • 00:20:20.813 --> 00:20:21.347
  • ALL OF THIS AND MUCH MOREAS YOU EMBARK
  • 00:20:21.347 --> 00:20:23.283
  • AS YOU EMBARKON THIS LIFE-CHANGING JOURNEY
  • 00:20:23.283 --> 00:20:24.384
  • ON THIS LIFE-CHANGING JOURNEYTO EXPLORE,
  • 00:20:24.384 --> 00:20:25.385
  • TO EXPLORE,REFLECT,
  • 00:20:25.385 --> 00:20:26.819
  • REFLECT,AND RENEW YOUR FAITH
  • 00:20:26.819 --> 00:20:28.054
  • AND RENEW YOUR FAITHIN THE HOLY LAND.
  • 00:20:28.054 --> 00:20:29.188
  • IN THE HOLY LAND.FOR MORE INFORMATION,
  • 00:20:29.188 --> 00:20:31.291
  • FOR MORE INFORMATION,GO TO JHM.ORG
  • 00:20:31.291 --> 00:20:32.091
  • GO TO JHM.ORGOR CALL THE NUMBER
  • 00:20:32.091 --> 00:20:33.359
  • OR CALL THE NUMBERON THE SCREEN.
  • 00:20:33.359 --> 00:20:42.201
  • ON THE SCREEN.♪ MUSIC ♪
  • 00:20:42.201 --> 00:20:54.681
  • ♪ MUSIC ♪♪ MUSIC ♪
  • 00:20:54.681 --> 00:20:55.581
  • ♪ MUSIC ♪MATT HAGEE: WELCOME BACK.
  • 00:20:55.581 --> 00:20:56.282
  • MATT HAGEE: WELCOME BACK.WE'VE BEEN HAVING
  • 00:20:56.282 --> 00:20:56.916
  • WE'VE BEEN HAVINGA CONVERSATION
  • 00:20:56.916 --> 00:20:57.950
  • A CONVERSATIONWITH DR. EMERSON EGGERICHS
  • 00:20:57.950 --> 00:20:59.018
  • WITH DR. EMERSON EGGERICHSABOUT "LOVE AND RESPECT"
  • 00:20:59.018 --> 00:21:00.153
  • ABOUT "LOVE AND RESPECT"AND THE DIFFERENT DYNAMICS
  • 00:21:00.153 --> 00:21:01.154
  • AND THE DIFFERENT DYNAMICSTHAT IT PLAYS
  • 00:21:01.154 --> 00:21:02.422
  • THAT IT PLAYSIN THE FAMILY RELATIONSHIP,
  • 00:21:02.422 --> 00:21:04.123
  • IN THE FAMILY RELATIONSHIP,IN THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP.
  • 00:21:04.123 --> 00:21:04.624
  • IN THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP.DR. EGGERICHS,
  • 00:21:04.624 --> 00:21:05.692
  • DR. EGGERICHS,I WAS SO GLAD THAT WE STARTED
  • 00:21:05.692 --> 00:21:07.126
  • I WAS SO GLAD THAT WE STARTEDWITH YOU TELLING US THAT
  • 00:21:07.126 --> 00:21:08.328
  • WITH YOU TELLING US THATTHE FOUNDATION FOR THIS WAS
  • 00:21:08.328 --> 00:21:09.796
  • THE FOUNDATION FOR THIS WASTHE BOOK OF EPHESIANS.
  • 00:21:09.796 --> 00:21:10.763
  • THE BOOK OF EPHESIANS.ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I TALK
  • 00:21:10.763 --> 00:21:11.731
  • ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I TALKTO PEOPLE ABOUT,
  • 00:21:11.731 --> 00:21:14.033
  • TO PEOPLE ABOUT,WHO MIGHT NOT HAVE CHURCH
  • 00:21:14.033 --> 00:21:15.368
  • WHO MIGHT NOT HAVE CHURCHRELATIONSHIP OR REALLY
  • 00:21:15.368 --> 00:21:16.936
  • RELATIONSHIP OR REALLYA CONNECTION WITH SCRIPTURE,
  • 00:21:16.936 --> 00:21:17.937
  • A CONNECTION WITH SCRIPTURE,THEY HAVE BOUGHT INTO
  • 00:21:17.937 --> 00:21:19.572
  • THEY HAVE BOUGHT INTOTHE CONCEPT THAT THE BIBLE
  • 00:21:19.572 --> 00:21:21.174
  • THE CONCEPT THAT THE BIBLEIS AN ARCHAIC BOOK
  • 00:21:21.174 --> 00:21:23.042
  • IS AN ARCHAIC BOOKTHAT REALLY SUPPRESSES WOMEN.
  • 00:21:23.042 --> 00:21:25.378
  • THAT REALLY SUPPRESSES WOMEN.THE REALITY OF THE TIME
  • 00:21:25.378 --> 00:21:26.879
  • THE REALITY OF THE TIMEWAS THAT THE APOSTLE PAUL
  • 00:21:26.879 --> 00:21:28.414
  • WAS THAT THE APOSTLE PAULWAS REALLY LIBERAL
  • 00:21:28.414 --> 00:21:29.716
  • WAS REALLY LIBERALIN HIS RELATIONSHIP
  • 00:21:29.716 --> 00:21:30.817
  • IN HIS RELATIONSHIPBETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN,
  • 00:21:30.817 --> 00:21:32.051
  • BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN,BECAUSE HE TREATED WOMEN
  • 00:21:32.051 --> 00:21:33.019
  • BECAUSE HE TREATED WOMENAS EQUALS.
  • 00:21:33.019 --> 00:21:33.686
  • AS EQUALS.DR. EGGERICHS: YES.
  • 00:21:33.686 --> 00:21:34.620
  • DR. EGGERICHS: YES.MATT HAGEE: HE DIDN'T TREAT
  • 00:21:34.620 --> 00:21:35.855
  • MATT HAGEE: HE DIDN'T TREATTHEM AS PROPERTY,
  • 00:21:35.855 --> 00:21:37.623
  • THEM AS PROPERTY,AS IT WAS THE ORDER OF THE DAY.
  • 00:21:37.623 --> 00:21:38.224
  • AS IT WAS THE ORDER OF THE DAY.DR. EGGERICHS: YES.
  • 00:21:38.224 --> 00:21:38.958
  • DR. EGGERICHS: YES.MATT HAGEE: IN THE 1ST CENTURY
  • 00:21:38.958 --> 00:21:39.625
  • MATT HAGEE: IN THE 1ST CENTURYIN THE MIDDLE EAST,
  • 00:21:39.625 --> 00:21:40.993
  • IN THE MIDDLE EAST,WOMEN WERE NOT EQUALS;
  • 00:21:40.993 --> 00:21:41.894
  • WOMEN WERE NOT EQUALS;THEY WERE PROPERTY.
  • 00:21:41.894 --> 00:21:43.029
  • THEY WERE PROPERTY.YOU COULD BUY AND SELL THEM.
  • 00:21:43.029 --> 00:21:44.397
  • YOU COULD BUY AND SELL THEM.YOU COULD SEND THEM HOME WITH
  • 00:21:44.397 --> 00:21:45.465
  • YOU COULD SEND THEM HOME WITHTHE VERY SIMPLE STATEMENT OF,
  • 00:21:45.465 --> 00:21:46.265
  • THE VERY SIMPLE STATEMENT OF,"I DIVORCE YOU.
  • 00:21:46.265 --> 00:21:47.700
  • "I DIVORCE YOU.GO BECOME TO YOUR FATHER."
  • 00:21:47.700 --> 00:21:48.334
  • GO BECOME TO YOUR FATHER."I MEAN THERE WERE SO MANY
  • 00:21:48.334 --> 00:21:50.670
  • I MEAN THERE WERE SO MANYDIFFERENT CULTURAL THINGS THAT
  • 00:21:50.670 --> 00:21:52.171
  • DIFFERENT CULTURAL THINGS THATWHEN YOU READ PAUL TELLING
  • 00:21:52.171 --> 00:21:54.507
  • WHEN YOU READ PAUL TELLINGA MAN, "LOVE YOUR WIFE.
  • 00:21:54.507 --> 00:21:56.275
  • A MAN, "LOVE YOUR WIFE.LAY YOUR LIFE DOWN FOR HER,"
  • 00:21:56.275 --> 00:21:57.410
  • LAY YOUR LIFE DOWN FOR HER,"HE WAS REALLY ON THE CUTTING
  • 00:21:57.410 --> 00:21:59.946
  • HE WAS REALLY ON THE CUTTINGEDGE OF LIBERAL FOR THE DAY.
  • 00:21:59.946 --> 00:22:01.647
  • EDGE OF LIBERAL FOR THE DAY.NOW, WE LIVE IN A TIME WHERE
  • 00:22:01.647 --> 00:22:03.082
  • NOW, WE LIVE IN A TIME WHERETHE DYNAMIC HAS ALMOST GONE
  • 00:22:03.082 --> 00:22:05.318
  • THE DYNAMIC HAS ALMOST GONE180 DEGREES OPPOSITE.
  • 00:22:05.318 --> 00:22:06.018
  • 180 DEGREES OPPOSITE.AND WHEN YOU START TO TALK
  • 00:22:06.018 --> 00:22:07.120
  • AND WHEN YOU START TO TALKTO PEOPLE ABOUT THE BIBLICAL
  • 00:22:07.120 --> 00:22:08.020
  • TO PEOPLE ABOUT THE BIBLICALVALUES OF MARRIAGE
  • 00:22:08.020 --> 00:22:09.288
  • VALUES OF MARRIAGERELATIONSHIPS,
  • 00:22:09.288 --> 00:22:10.356
  • RELATIONSHIPS,THEY START TO PUT IT INTO
  • 00:22:10.356 --> 00:22:12.024
  • THEY START TO PUT IT INTOTHE SCALES OF THEIR REALITY.
  • 00:22:12.024 --> 00:22:12.458
  • THE SCALES OF THEIR REALITY.AND THEY SAY,
  • 00:22:12.458 --> 00:22:13.393
  • AND THEY SAY,"IT'LL JUST NEVER WORK."
  • 00:22:13.393 --> 00:22:14.394
  • "IT'LL JUST NEVER WORK."WHAT DO YOU SAY TO PEOPLE
  • 00:22:14.394 --> 00:22:15.027
  • WHAT DO YOU SAY TO PEOPLETHAT KIND OF HAVE
  • 00:22:15.027 --> 00:22:16.829
  • THAT KIND OF HAVETHAT HOPELESS SENSE?
  • 00:22:16.829 --> 00:22:17.463
  • THAT HOPELESS SENSE?DR. EGGERICHS: WELL,
  • 00:22:17.463 --> 00:22:18.197
  • DR. EGGERICHS: WELL,I THINK THE BEAUTIFUL THING,
  • 00:22:18.197 --> 00:22:19.399
  • I THINK THE BEAUTIFUL THING,BECAUSE WE'RE RESEARCH ORIENTED
  • 00:22:19.399 --> 00:22:19.866
  • BECAUSE WE'RE RESEARCH ORIENTEDAS WELL,
  • 00:22:19.866 --> 00:22:20.867
  • AS WELL,THE UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON
  • 00:22:20.867 --> 00:22:21.968
  • THE UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTONSTUDIED THOSE 2.000 COUPLES
  • 00:22:21.968 --> 00:22:22.535
  • STUDIED THOSE 2.000 COUPLESFOR 20 YEARS,
  • 00:22:22.535 --> 00:22:23.236
  • FOR 20 YEARS,AND THEY SAID,
  • 00:22:23.236 --> 00:22:24.103
  • AND THEY SAID,"WE NOW KNOW THE TWO KEY
  • 00:22:24.103 --> 00:22:25.071
  • "WE NOW KNOW THE TWO KEYINGREDIENTS FOR SUCCESSFUL
  • 00:22:25.071 --> 00:22:25.972
  • INGREDIENTS FOR SUCCESSFULRELATIONSHIPS,
  • 00:22:25.972 --> 00:22:27.340
  • RELATIONSHIPS,LOVE AND RESPECT."
  • 00:22:27.340 --> 00:22:28.307
  • LOVE AND RESPECT."AND IT BECOMES VERY GENDER
  • 00:22:28.307 --> 00:22:29.308
  • AND IT BECOMES VERY GENDERSPECIFIC;
  • 00:22:29.308 --> 00:22:30.243
  • SPECIFIC;THAT WOMEN LEAN TOWARD
  • 00:22:30.243 --> 00:22:31.177
  • THAT WOMEN LEAN TOWARDTHE LOVE SIDE;
  • 00:22:31.177 --> 00:22:31.878
  • THE LOVE SIDE;MEN LEAN TOWARD
  • 00:22:31.878 --> 00:22:32.478
  • MEN LEAN TOWARDTHE RESPECT SIDE.
  • 00:22:32.478 --> 00:22:33.913
  • THE RESPECT SIDE.SO GOD SAID THAT 2.000 YEARS
  • 00:22:33.913 --> 00:22:34.647
  • SO GOD SAID THAT 2.000 YEARSAGO.
  • 00:22:34.647 --> 00:22:35.415
  • AGO.AND I THINK EVERYONE
  • 00:22:35.415 --> 00:22:36.115
  • AND I THINK EVERYONEINSTINCTIVELY KNOWS,
  • 00:22:36.115 --> 00:22:37.049
  • INSTINCTIVELY KNOWS,IF YOU HAVE LOVE AND RESPECT
  • 00:22:37.049 --> 00:22:37.884
  • IF YOU HAVE LOVE AND RESPECTIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP,
  • 00:22:37.884 --> 00:22:39.285
  • IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP,IT'S GOING TO SUCCEED.
  • 00:22:39.285 --> 00:22:39.952
  • IT'S GOING TO SUCCEED.SO IT REALLY RAISED
  • 00:22:39.952 --> 00:22:40.553
  • SO IT REALLY RAISEDTHE QUESTION;
  • 00:22:40.553 --> 00:22:42.355
  • THE QUESTION;HOW DO WE APPLY THAT?
  • 00:22:42.355 --> 00:22:43.489
  • HOW DO WE APPLY THAT?IT'S NOT THAT THAT TEXT
  • 00:22:43.489 --> 00:22:45.224
  • IT'S NOT THAT THAT TEXTIS ANTIQUATED;
  • 00:22:45.224 --> 00:22:46.559
  • IS ANTIQUATED;THAT IT'S SOMEHOW ROOTED
  • 00:22:46.559 --> 00:22:48.327
  • THAT IT'S SOMEHOW ROOTEDIN SOME MALE CHAUVINISM.
  • 00:22:48.327 --> 00:22:50.329
  • IN SOME MALE CHAUVINISM.IT REALLY HAS A RING OF TRUTH.
  • 00:22:50.329 --> 00:22:51.030
  • IT REALLY HAS A RING OF TRUTH.THE CHALLENGE, OF COURSE,
  • 00:22:51.030 --> 00:22:52.532
  • THE CHALLENGE, OF COURSE,IS WOMEN DON'T FEEL RESPECT
  • 00:22:52.532 --> 00:22:53.366
  • IS WOMEN DON'T FEEL RESPECTFOR THEIR HUSBANDS.
  • 00:22:53.366 --> 00:22:54.667
  • FOR THEIR HUSBANDS.THEY DON'T THINK HE EARNED IT.
  • 00:22:54.667 --> 00:22:55.435
  • THEY DON'T THINK HE EARNED IT.THEY DON'T THINK HE DESERVES
  • 00:22:55.435 --> 00:22:55.935
  • THEY DON'T THINK HE DESERVESIT.
  • 00:22:55.935 --> 00:22:56.569
  • IT.AND THEY FEEL THAT THEY'RE
  • 00:22:56.569 --> 00:22:57.603
  • AND THEY FEEL THAT THEY'REGOING TO BE A DOORMAT
  • 00:22:57.603 --> 00:22:58.838
  • GOING TO BE A DOORMATOR THEY'RE SOMEHOW GOING TO BE
  • 00:22:58.838 --> 00:22:59.839
  • OR THEY'RE SOMEHOW GOING TO BEBELITTLED IN THAT.
  • 00:22:59.839 --> 00:23:00.440
  • BELITTLED IN THAT.AND WHAT WE TALK ABOUT;
  • 00:23:00.440 --> 00:23:01.574
  • AND WHAT WE TALK ABOUT;IT ISN'T ABOUT HIM DESERVING
  • 00:23:01.574 --> 00:23:02.008
  • IT ISN'T ABOUT HIM DESERVINGIT.
  • 00:23:02.008 --> 00:23:03.109
  • IT.IT'S ABOUT WHO GOD CALLS YOU
  • 00:23:03.109 --> 00:23:04.343
  • IT'S ABOUT WHO GOD CALLS YOUTO BE AS A WOMAN.
  • 00:23:04.343 --> 00:23:04.911
  • TO BE AS A WOMAN.KENDAL HAGEE: THAT'S RIGHT.
  • 00:23:04.911 --> 00:23:05.511
  • KENDAL HAGEE: THAT'S RIGHT.DR. EGGERICHS: JUST LIKE
  • 00:23:05.511 --> 00:23:06.245
  • DR. EGGERICHS: JUST LIKESHE MAY NOT BE LOVABLE,
  • 00:23:06.245 --> 00:23:07.346
  • SHE MAY NOT BE LOVABLE,BUT GOD CALLS ME TO PUT
  • 00:23:07.346 --> 00:23:08.314
  • BUT GOD CALLS ME TO PUTON LOVE.
  • 00:23:08.314 --> 00:23:09.248
  • ON LOVE.AND THIS IS THE LIBERATING
  • 00:23:09.248 --> 00:23:10.116
  • AND THIS IS THE LIBERATINGTHING;
  • 00:23:10.116 --> 00:23:11.317
  • THING;EACH OF US HAS TO COME TO A
  • 00:23:11.317 --> 00:23:12.685
  • EACH OF US HAS TO COME TO APOINT WHERE WE MAKE A DECISION
  • 00:23:12.685 --> 00:23:14.687
  • POINT WHERE WE MAKE A DECISIONTHIS IS WHO I'M GOING TO BE
  • 00:23:14.687 --> 00:23:15.988
  • THIS IS WHO I'M GOING TO BEWHETHER YOU ARE WHO YOU'RE
  • 00:23:15.988 --> 00:23:17.223
  • WHETHER YOU ARE WHO YOU'RESUPPOSED TO BE.
  • 00:23:17.223 --> 00:23:17.790
  • SUPPOSED TO BE.KENDAL HAGEE: THAT'S RIGHT.
  • 00:23:17.790 --> 00:23:18.491
  • KENDAL HAGEE: THAT'S RIGHT.DR. EGGERICHS: AND THERE'S
  • 00:23:18.491 --> 00:23:19.125
  • DR. EGGERICHS: AND THERE'SSUCH POWER IN THAT;
  • 00:23:19.125 --> 00:23:20.226
  • SUCH POWER IN THAT;IT'S INCREDIBLE.
  • 00:23:20.226 --> 00:23:21.861
  • IT'S INCREDIBLE.HOWEVER, ALL OF US FEEL,
  • 00:23:21.861 --> 00:23:23.963
  • HOWEVER, ALL OF US FEEL,WELL I WOULD BE LOVING IF YOU
  • 00:23:23.963 --> 00:23:25.565
  • WELL I WOULD BE LOVING IF YOUJUST WEREN'T SO DISRESPECTFUL.
  • 00:23:25.565 --> 00:23:26.332
  • JUST WEREN'T SO DISRESPECTFUL.MATT HAGEE: IT BECOMES
  • 00:23:26.332 --> 00:23:27.366
  • MATT HAGEE: IT BECOMESTHIS QUID PRO QUO THING.
  • 00:23:27.366 --> 00:23:27.934
  • THIS QUID PRO QUO THING.DR. EGGERICHS: HUGE,
  • 00:23:27.934 --> 00:23:28.801
  • DR. EGGERICHS: HUGE,WHERE YOU ACTUALLY BLAME
  • 00:23:28.801 --> 00:23:29.335
  • WHERE YOU ACTUALLY BLAMETHE OTHER PERSON
  • 00:23:29.335 --> 00:23:31.003
  • THE OTHER PERSONFOR YOUR NEGATIVE REACTIONS.
  • 00:23:31.003 --> 00:23:32.605
  • FOR YOUR NEGATIVE REACTIONS.AND MY CAMPAIGN --
  • 00:23:32.605 --> 00:23:33.473
  • AND MY CAMPAIGN --AND SARAH AND I HAVE BEEN
  • 00:23:33.473 --> 00:23:34.240
  • AND SARAH AND I HAVE BEENTRYING TO GET THIS ACROSS,
  • 00:23:34.240 --> 00:23:35.908
  • TRYING TO GET THIS ACROSS,IS IT'S TREMENDOUSLY LIBERATING
  • 00:23:35.908 --> 00:23:36.576
  • IS IT'S TREMENDOUSLY LIBERATINGWHEN WE COME TO A POINT
  • 00:23:36.576 --> 00:23:37.243
  • WHEN WE COME TO A POINTWHERE WE SAY,
  • 00:23:37.243 --> 00:23:37.844
  • WHERE WE SAY,"MY RESPONSE IS MY
  • 00:23:37.844 --> 00:23:39.412
  • "MY RESPONSE IS MYRESPONSIBILITY.
  • 00:23:39.412 --> 00:23:40.413
  • RESPONSIBILITY.YOU DON'T CAUSE ME --"
  • 00:23:40.413 --> 00:23:41.080
  • YOU DON'T CAUSE ME --"MATT HAGEE: GREAT STATEMENT.
  • 00:23:41.080 --> 00:23:41.781
  • MATT HAGEE: GREAT STATEMENT.SAY THAT AGAIN.
  • 00:23:41.781 --> 00:23:42.515
  • SAY THAT AGAIN.DR. EGGERICHS: "MY RESPONSE
  • 00:23:42.515 --> 00:23:44.417
  • DR. EGGERICHS: "MY RESPONSEIS MY RESPONSIBILITY.
  • 00:23:44.417 --> 00:23:45.418
  • IS MY RESPONSIBILITY.YOU DON'T CAUSE ME TO BE
  • 00:23:45.418 --> 00:23:46.452
  • YOU DON'T CAUSE ME TO BETHE WAY I AM.
  • 00:23:46.452 --> 00:23:48.154
  • THE WAY I AM.YOU REVEAL THE WAY I AM."
  • 00:23:48.154 --> 00:23:48.788
  • YOU REVEAL THE WAY I AM."OUCH.
  • 00:23:48.788 --> 00:23:49.722
  • OUCH.I DON'T LIKE TO HEAR THAT.
  • 00:23:49.722 --> 00:23:50.590
  • I DON'T LIKE TO HEAR THAT.BUT AT THE DEEPER ROOT,
  • 00:23:50.590 --> 00:23:52.325
  • BUT AT THE DEEPER ROOT,IT'S REALLY QUITE LIBERATING.
  • 00:23:52.325 --> 00:23:53.292
  • IT'S REALLY QUITE LIBERATING.YOU KNOW A SPECK OF SAND IN THE
  • 00:23:53.292 --> 00:23:54.193
  • YOU KNOW A SPECK OF SAND IN THEHUMAN EYE FIRST CAUSES
  • 00:23:54.193 --> 00:23:55.628
  • HUMAN EYE FIRST CAUSESIRRITATION, THEN INFECTION;
  • 00:23:55.628 --> 00:23:56.195
  • IRRITATION, THEN INFECTION;AND NOT CARED FOR,
  • 00:23:56.195 --> 00:23:56.896
  • AND NOT CARED FOR,LOSS OF VISION.
  • 00:23:56.896 --> 00:23:57.797
  • LOSS OF VISION.THAT SAME AFFECT OF SAND
  • 00:23:57.797 --> 00:23:59.232
  • THAT SAME AFFECT OF SANDIN AN OYSTER CAUSES IRRITATION,
  • 00:23:59.232 --> 00:24:00.299
  • IN AN OYSTER CAUSES IRRITATION,AND CONCRETION,
  • 00:24:00.299 --> 00:24:01.667
  • AND CONCRETION,AND PRODUCES A PEARL.
  • 00:24:01.667 --> 00:24:02.602
  • AND PRODUCES A PEARL.AND I LIKE TO ASK THE QUESTION,
  • 00:24:02.602 --> 00:24:03.936
  • AND I LIKE TO ASK THE QUESTION,"DID THE SAND CAUSE THE RESULTS
  • 00:24:03.936 --> 00:24:05.471
  • "DID THE SAND CAUSE THE RESULTSIN THE EYE AND THE OYSTER?"
  • 00:24:05.471 --> 00:24:06.639
  • IN THE EYE AND THE OYSTER?"ACTUALLY NO.
  • 00:24:06.639 --> 00:24:08.107
  • ACTUALLY NO.THE SAND IS AN IRRITANT THAT
  • 00:24:08.107 --> 00:24:09.242
  • THE SAND IS AN IRRITANT THATREVEALS THE INNER PROPERTIES
  • 00:24:09.242 --> 00:24:10.543
  • REVEALS THE INNER PROPERTIESOF THE EYE AND REVEALS THE
  • 00:24:10.543 --> 00:24:12.578
  • OF THE EYE AND REVEALS THEINNER PROPERTIES OF THE OYSTER.
  • 00:24:12.578 --> 00:24:13.412
  • INNER PROPERTIES OF THE OYSTER.IN MARRIAGE,
  • 00:24:13.412 --> 00:24:14.614
  • IN MARRIAGE,SARAH IS REVEALING MY INNER
  • 00:24:14.614 --> 00:24:15.948
  • SARAH IS REVEALING MY INNERPROPERTIES.
  • 00:24:15.948 --> 00:24:17.783
  • PROPERTIES.SHE'S AN IRRITANT.
  • 00:24:17.783 --> 00:24:19.118
  • SHE'S AN IRRITANT.I'M AN IRRITANT TOWARD HER;
  • 00:24:19.118 --> 00:24:19.785
  • I'M AN IRRITANT TOWARD HER;RIGHT?
  • 00:24:19.785 --> 00:24:20.786
  • RIGHT?WE'RE BOTH IRRITANTS.
  • 00:24:20.786 --> 00:24:21.954
  • WE'RE BOTH IRRITANTS.BUT WE'VE COME TO A POINT
  • 00:24:21.954 --> 00:24:22.855
  • BUT WE'VE COME TO A POINTWHERE WE HAVE OUR MOMENTS
  • 00:24:22.855 --> 00:24:23.623
  • WHERE WE HAVE OUR MOMENTSWHERE WE WANT TO BLAME.
  • 00:24:23.623 --> 00:24:24.557
  • WHERE WE WANT TO BLAME.WE GO THROUGH THE BLAME GAME.
  • 00:24:24.557 --> 00:24:26.359
  • WE GO THROUGH THE BLAME GAME.ACTUALLY WE GRIN AT EACH OTHER
  • 00:24:26.359 --> 00:24:27.693
  • ACTUALLY WE GRIN AT EACH OTHERWHEN WE'RE TRYING.
  • 00:24:27.693 --> 00:24:29.028
  • WHEN WE'RE TRYING.BUT WE ULTIMATELY DO IS
  • 00:24:29.028 --> 00:24:31.864
  • BUT WE ULTIMATELY DO ISWE REALIZE I DON'T CAUSE HER,
  • 00:24:31.864 --> 00:24:32.899
  • WE REALIZE I DON'T CAUSE HER,NOR DOES SHE CAUSE ME
  • 00:24:32.899 --> 00:24:33.966
  • NOR DOES SHE CAUSE METO REACT IN THAT UNLOVING
  • 00:24:33.966 --> 00:24:35.401
  • TO REACT IN THAT UNLOVINGOR DISRESPECTFUL WAY.
  • 00:24:35.401 --> 00:24:36.369
  • OR DISRESPECTFUL WAY.AND ONCE WE'VE SAID,
  • 00:24:36.369 --> 00:24:37.003
  • AND ONCE WE'VE SAID,YOU KNOW WHAT?
  • 00:24:37.003 --> 00:24:38.237
  • YOU KNOW WHAT?WE'RE GOING TO FAIL AT THIS.
  • 00:24:38.237 --> 00:24:38.771
  • WE'RE GOING TO FAIL AT THIS.BUT YOU KNOW
  • 00:24:38.771 --> 00:24:39.272
  • BUT YOU KNOWTHAT'S REALLY TRUE.
  • 00:24:39.272 --> 00:24:40.239
  • THAT'S REALLY TRUE.GOD CALLS ME TO BE LOVING.
  • 00:24:40.239 --> 00:24:41.374
  • GOD CALLS ME TO BE LOVING.AND I HAVE TO GIVE AN ACCOUNT.
  • 00:24:41.374 --> 00:24:41.974
  • AND I HAVE TO GIVE AN ACCOUNT.THE LORD IS GOING TO SAY,
  • 00:24:41.974 --> 00:24:43.142
  • THE LORD IS GOING TO SAY,"EMERSON, DID YOU LOVE SARAH?"
  • 00:24:43.142 --> 00:24:45.311
  • "EMERSON, DID YOU LOVE SARAH?"LORD, YOU KNOW THE FAMILY.
  • 00:24:45.311 --> 00:24:47.480
  • LORD, YOU KNOW THE FAMILY."EMERSON, IS THIS MY COMMAND
  • 00:24:47.480 --> 00:24:48.014
  • "EMERSON, IS THIS MY COMMANDTO YOU?
  • 00:24:48.014 --> 00:24:48.881
  • TO YOU?DID YOU DO THIS OUT OF TRUST
  • 00:24:48.881 --> 00:24:50.783
  • DID YOU DO THIS OUT OF TRUSTAND OBEDIENCE TOWARD ME,
  • 00:24:50.783 --> 00:24:51.517
  • AND OBEDIENCE TOWARD ME,OUT OF LOVE AND REVERENCE
  • 00:24:51.517 --> 00:24:52.218
  • OUT OF LOVE AND REVERENCETOWARD ME?"
  • 00:24:52.218 --> 00:24:53.853
  • TOWARD ME?"SARAH'S IRRELEVANT.
  • 00:24:53.853 --> 00:24:55.454
  • SARAH'S IRRELEVANT.NOW DO I REALLY BELIEVE THAT?
  • 00:24:55.454 --> 00:24:56.889
  • NOW DO I REALLY BELIEVE THAT?AND IF I REALLY BELIEVE THAT,
  • 00:24:56.889 --> 00:24:58.257
  • AND IF I REALLY BELIEVE THAT,THEN PAUL IN EPHESIANS SAYS,
  • 00:24:58.257 --> 00:24:59.425
  • THEN PAUL IN EPHESIANS SAYS,"WHATEVER GOD THING EACH ONE
  • 00:24:59.425 --> 00:25:00.359
  • "WHATEVER GOD THING EACH ONEDOES, HE'LL RECEIVE BACK.
  • 00:25:00.359 --> 00:25:01.527
  • DOES, HE'LL RECEIVE BACK.HE WILL BE REWARDED."
  • 00:25:01.527 --> 00:25:02.228
  • HE WILL BE REWARDED."AND WE TALK ABOUT THE
  • 00:25:02.228 --> 00:25:03.596
  • AND WE TALK ABOUT THEREWARDING CYCLE IN THE BOOK;
  • 00:25:03.596 --> 00:25:05.464
  • REWARDING CYCLE IN THE BOOK;THAT THIS IS IMPORTANT TO GOD,
  • 00:25:05.464 --> 00:25:06.566
  • THAT THIS IS IMPORTANT TO GOD,VERY IMPORTANT.
  • 00:25:06.566 --> 00:25:07.533
  • VERY IMPORTANT.THAT WHEN I DO MARRIAGE
  • 00:25:07.533 --> 00:25:08.067
  • THAT WHEN I DO MARRIAGEHIS WAY,
  • 00:25:08.067 --> 00:25:08.868
  • HIS WAY,EVEN IF MY SPOUSE DOESN'T
  • 00:25:08.868 --> 00:25:09.802
  • EVEN IF MY SPOUSE DOESN'TRESPOND,
  • 00:25:09.802 --> 00:25:11.070
  • RESPOND,WHEN I'M THIS LOVING MAN
  • 00:25:11.070 --> 00:25:12.271
  • WHEN I'M THIS LOVING MANAND I HAVE A LOVING DEMEANOR,
  • 00:25:12.271 --> 00:25:13.873
  • AND I HAVE A LOVING DEMEANOR,EVEN IF SHE'S DISSING ME;
  • 00:25:13.873 --> 00:25:14.840
  • EVEN IF SHE'S DISSING ME;THIS TOUCHES THE HEART
  • 00:25:14.840 --> 00:25:15.775
  • THIS TOUCHES THE HEARTOF CHRIST.
  • 00:25:15.775 --> 00:25:16.342
  • OF CHRIST.AND WE DIDN'T KNOW
  • 00:25:16.342 --> 00:25:17.410
  • AND WE DIDN'T KNOWIF THIS WOULD PLAY IMPERIOUS,
  • 00:25:17.410 --> 00:25:18.110
  • IF THIS WOULD PLAY IMPERIOUS,SO TO SPEAK,
  • 00:25:18.110 --> 00:25:19.078
  • SO TO SPEAK,AS WE'D GONE OUT AND WE'D DONE
  • 00:25:19.078 --> 00:25:20.046
  • AS WE'D GONE OUT AND WE'D DONEASSESSMENT.
  • 00:25:20.046 --> 00:25:21.080
  • ASSESSMENT.THERE ARE MANY CHRISTIANS OUT
  • 00:25:21.080 --> 00:25:22.315
  • THERE ARE MANY CHRISTIANS OUTTHERE THAT THIS REALLY HAS
  • 00:25:22.315 --> 00:25:23.316
  • THERE THAT THIS REALLY HASGIVEN THEM HOPE.
  • 00:25:23.316 --> 00:25:25.017
  • GIVEN THEM HOPE.AND THIS SUDDENLY HAS OPENED UP
  • 00:25:25.017 --> 00:25:25.618
  • AND THIS SUDDENLY HAS OPENED UPA WHOLE NEW THING.
  • 00:25:25.618 --> 00:25:26.319
  • A WHOLE NEW THING.BECAUSE I SAY,
  • 00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:28.287
  • BECAUSE I SAY,"YOU LOVE HER BY LOVING CHRIST,
  • 00:25:28.287 --> 00:25:30.356
  • "YOU LOVE HER BY LOVING CHRIST,WHO STANDS BEYOND HER SHOULDER.
  • 00:25:30.356 --> 00:25:32.158
  • WHO STANDS BEYOND HER SHOULDER.YOU'RE ACTUALLY LOVING CHRIST."
  • 00:25:32.158 --> 00:25:32.792
  • YOU'RE ACTUALLY LOVING CHRIST."MATT HAGEE: WELL,
  • 00:25:32.792 --> 00:25:33.459
  • MATT HAGEE: WELL,AND THE NEW TESTAMENT EVEN
  • 00:25:33.459 --> 00:25:34.393
  • AND THE NEW TESTAMENT EVENTELLS, YOU KNOW,
  • 00:25:34.393 --> 00:25:35.528
  • TELLS, YOU KNOW,RIGHTEOUS WOMEN,
  • 00:25:35.528 --> 00:25:37.563
  • RIGHTEOUS WOMEN,WHO HAVE UNBELIEVING HUSBANDS,
  • 00:25:37.563 --> 00:25:38.998
  • WHO HAVE UNBELIEVING HUSBANDS,DON'T GO HOME AND CONDEMN HIM
  • 00:25:38.998 --> 00:25:39.865
  • DON'T GO HOME AND CONDEMN HIMBECAUSE HE DIDN'T JOIN YOU
  • 00:25:39.865 --> 00:25:40.733
  • BECAUSE HE DIDN'T JOIN YOUAT CHURCH.
  • 00:25:40.733 --> 00:25:42.101
  • AT CHURCH.GO HOME AND LOVE HIM LIKE GOD
  • 00:25:42.101 --> 00:25:42.969
  • GO HOME AND LOVE HIM LIKE GODSAID TO LOVE HIM,
  • 00:25:42.969 --> 00:25:44.570
  • SAID TO LOVE HIM,AND IT WILL PULL HIM TOWARDS
  • 00:25:44.570 --> 00:25:45.438
  • AND IT WILL PULL HIM TOWARDSTHE FAITH.
  • 00:25:45.438 --> 00:25:46.105
  • THE FAITH.DR. EGGERICHS: ACTUALLY
  • 00:25:46.105 --> 00:25:47.707
  • DR. EGGERICHS: ACTUALLY1 PETER 3, IT'S RESPECT.
  • 00:25:47.707 --> 00:25:48.441
  • 1 PETER 3, IT'S RESPECT.MATT HAGEE: CORRECT.
  • 00:25:48.441 --> 00:25:49.141
  • MATT HAGEE: CORRECT.DR. EGGERICHS: IT'S NOT EVEN
  • 00:25:49.141 --> 00:25:50.977
  • DR. EGGERICHS: IT'S NOT EVENLOVE; IT'S RESPECT.
  • 00:25:50.977 --> 00:25:51.711
  • LOVE; IT'S RESPECT.MATT HAGEE: TREAT HIM THE WAY
  • 00:25:51.711 --> 00:25:52.378
  • MATT HAGEE: TREAT HIM THE WAYTHE BIBLE SAYS TO.
  • 00:25:52.378 --> 00:25:52.912
  • THE BIBLE SAYS TO.DR. EGGERICHS: EXACTLY.
  • 00:25:52.912 --> 00:25:54.046
  • DR. EGGERICHS: EXACTLY.YOUR RESPECTFUL BEHAVIOR
  • 00:25:54.046 --> 00:25:55.448
  • YOUR RESPECTFUL BEHAVIORWILL WIN HIM.
  • 00:25:55.448 --> 00:25:55.915
  • WILL WIN HIM.THIS IS WHY I SAY,
  • 00:25:55.915 --> 00:25:56.849
  • THIS IS WHY I SAY,THERE'S NO COMMAND IN
  • 00:25:56.849 --> 00:25:57.683
  • THERE'S NO COMMAND INTHE NEW TESTAMENT FOR WIFE
  • 00:25:57.683 --> 00:25:59.218
  • THE NEW TESTAMENT FOR WIFETO AGAPE LOVE HER HUSBAND.
  • 00:25:59.218 --> 00:26:00.353
  • TO AGAPE LOVE HER HUSBAND.AND THE POWER,
  • 00:26:00.353 --> 00:26:01.187
  • AND THE POWER,THE VERY THING THAT MANY WOMEN
  • 00:26:01.187 --> 00:26:02.288
  • THE VERY THING THAT MANY WOMENTHINK I'M LOSING POWER,
  • 00:26:02.288 --> 00:26:03.322
  • THINK I'M LOSING POWER,ACTUALLY EMPOWERS.
  • 00:26:03.322 --> 00:26:03.889
  • ACTUALLY EMPOWERS.HOSEA,
  • 00:26:03.889 --> 00:26:05.057
  • HOSEA,"GO LOVE A WOMAN WHO'S AN
  • 00:26:05.057 --> 00:26:05.858
  • "GO LOVE A WOMAN WHO'S ANADULTERESS;" RIGHT?
  • 00:26:05.858 --> 00:26:07.660
  • ADULTERESS;" RIGHT?YOU WIN A WOMAN THROUGH LOVE.
  • 00:26:07.660 --> 00:26:10.262
  • YOU WIN A WOMAN THROUGH LOVE.GOMER WAS HIS ADULTEROUS WIFE.
  • 00:26:10.262 --> 00:26:11.931
  • GOMER WAS HIS ADULTEROUS WIFE.YOU WILL WIN A WOMAN
  • 00:26:11.931 --> 00:26:13.032
  • YOU WILL WIN A WOMANBY BEING A LOVING MAN.
  • 00:26:13.032 --> 00:26:13.633
  • BY BEING A LOVING MAN.MATT HAGEE: IT'S A HARD BOOK.
  • 00:26:13.633 --> 00:26:14.300
  • MATT HAGEE: IT'S A HARD BOOK.DR. EGGERICHS: OH,
  • 00:26:14.300 --> 00:26:15.034
  • DR. EGGERICHS: OH,IT IS A VERY HARD BOOK.
  • 00:26:15.034 --> 00:26:15.768
  • IT IS A VERY HARD BOOK.THE SAME THING THOUGH,
  • 00:26:15.768 --> 00:26:16.569
  • THE SAME THING THOUGH,RESPECT IS.
  • 00:26:16.569 --> 00:26:17.203
  • RESPECT IS.HERE'S THE THING THOUGH;
  • 00:26:17.203 --> 00:26:18.104
  • HERE'S THE THING THOUGH;EACH OF US HAS TO COME TO
  • 00:26:18.104 --> 00:26:18.838
  • EACH OF US HAS TO COME TOA POINT;
  • 00:26:18.838 --> 00:26:20.239
  • A POINT;IS THIS A MOMENT IN MY LIFE
  • 00:26:20.239 --> 00:26:21.173
  • IS THIS A MOMENT IN MY LIFEWHERE I'M GOING TO BE THIS KIND
  • 00:26:21.173 --> 00:26:22.174
  • WHERE I'M GOING TO BE THIS KINDOF PERSON?
  • 00:26:22.174 --> 00:26:22.742
  • OF PERSON?YOU KNOW YEARS AGO,
  • 00:26:22.742 --> 00:26:24.210
  • YOU KNOW YEARS AGO,A YOUNG BOY WAS SOLD ON A BLOCK
  • 00:26:24.210 --> 00:26:24.744
  • A YOUNG BOY WAS SOLD ON A BLOCKOF WOOD.
  • 00:26:24.744 --> 00:26:26.812
  • OF WOOD.HE WAS LIKE 13, 14, AS A SLAVE.
  • 00:26:26.812 --> 00:26:27.813
  • HE WAS LIKE 13, 14, AS A SLAVE.AND A SLAVE OWNER CAME UP
  • 00:26:27.813 --> 00:26:29.015
  • AND A SLAVE OWNER CAME UPTO HIM AND SAID, "IF I BUY YOU,
  • 00:26:29.015 --> 00:26:30.383
  • TO HIM AND SAID, "IF I BUY YOU,WILL YOU BE HONEST?"
  • 00:26:30.383 --> 00:26:31.150
  • WILL YOU BE HONEST?"AND HE TURNED AT LOOKED AT
  • 00:26:31.150 --> 00:26:32.118
  • AND HE TURNED AT LOOKED ATTHE MAN, AND SAID,
  • 00:26:32.118 --> 00:26:32.985
  • THE MAN, AND SAID,"SIR, WHETHER YOU BUY ME
  • 00:26:32.985 --> 00:26:33.552
  • "SIR, WHETHER YOU BUY MEOR NOT,
  • 00:26:33.552 --> 00:26:34.954
  • OR NOT,I'M GOING TO BE HONEST."
  • 00:26:34.954 --> 00:26:36.889
  • I'M GOING TO BE HONEST."I WEPT WHEN I FIRST HEARD THAT.
  • 00:26:36.889 --> 00:26:38.424
  • I WEPT WHEN I FIRST HEARD THAT.AND THAT IS SO POWERFUL.
  • 00:26:38.424 --> 00:26:39.458
  • AND THAT IS SO POWERFUL.HE MADE A DECISION;
  • 00:26:39.458 --> 00:26:41.193
  • HE MADE A DECISION;THIS IS WHO I'M GOING TO BE.
  • 00:26:41.193 --> 00:26:41.861
  • THIS IS WHO I'M GOING TO BE.MATT HAGEE: THIS IS WHO I AM.
  • 00:26:41.861 --> 00:26:43.295
  • MATT HAGEE: THIS IS WHO I AM.THIS IS MY CONVICTION.
  • 00:26:43.295 --> 00:26:44.130
  • THIS IS MY CONVICTION.WELL THERE'S A LOT OF FOLKS,
  • 00:26:44.130 --> 00:26:45.665
  • WELL THERE'S A LOT OF FOLKS,WHO HAVE SEEN THIS PROGRAM.
  • 00:26:45.665 --> 00:26:46.432
  • WHO HAVE SEEN THIS PROGRAM.THEY'VE HEARD THINGS
  • 00:26:46.432 --> 00:26:47.299
  • THEY'VE HEARD THINGSFOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.
  • 00:26:47.299 --> 00:26:48.834
  • FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.HOW DO THEY GET INFORMATION
  • 00:26:48.834 --> 00:26:50.002
  • HOW DO THEY GET INFORMATIONABOUT THE WORK THAT YOU'VE DONE
  • 00:26:50.002 --> 00:26:50.903
  • ABOUT THE WORK THAT YOU'VE DONEAND HOW THEY CAN BE A PART
  • 00:26:50.903 --> 00:26:52.004
  • AND HOW THEY CAN BE A PARTOF IT TO SEE LOVE AND RESPECT
  • 00:26:52.004 --> 00:26:53.339
  • OF IT TO SEE LOVE AND RESPECTBECOME A DYNAMIC IN THEIR LIFE?
  • 00:26:53.339 --> 00:26:54.006
  • BECOME A DYNAMIC IN THEIR LIFE?DR. EGGERICHS: THANK YOU.
  • 00:26:54.006 --> 00:26:55.141
  • DR. EGGERICHS: THANK YOU.LOVE AND RESPECT.COM,
  • 00:26:55.141 --> 00:26:59.111
  • LOVE AND RESPECT.COM,L-O-V-E A-N-D R-E-S-P-E-C-T.COM
  • 00:26:59.111 --> 00:26:59.645
  • L-O-V-E A-N-D R-E-S-P-E-C-T.COMAND IN FACT,
  • 00:26:59.645 --> 00:27:01.247
  • AND IN FACT,WE HAVE A 15-DAY PLAN
  • 00:27:01.247 --> 00:27:02.248
  • WE HAVE A 15-DAY PLANTHAT'S FREE,
  • 00:27:02.248 --> 00:27:03.049
  • THAT'S FREE,TAKING THEM THROUGH SOME OF
  • 00:27:03.049 --> 00:27:04.583
  • TAKING THEM THROUGH SOME OFTHESE CONCEPT I'D LOVE FOR THEM
  • 00:27:04.583 --> 00:27:05.084
  • THESE CONCEPT I'D LOVE FOR THEMTO KNOW ABOUT.
  • 00:27:05.084 --> 00:27:06.952
  • TO KNOW ABOUT.BUT LOVE AND RESPECT.COM.
  • 00:27:06.952 --> 00:27:07.820
  • BUT LOVE AND RESPECT.COM.WE'D LOVE FOR THEM
  • 00:27:07.820 --> 00:27:08.554
  • WE'D LOVE FOR THEMTO CHECK IT OUT.
  • 00:27:08.554 --> 00:27:09.188
  • TO CHECK IT OUT.MATT HAGEE: WELL,
  • 00:27:09.188 --> 00:27:09.855
  • MATT HAGEE: WELL,I CAN TELL YOU THAT KENDAL
  • 00:27:09.855 --> 00:27:11.590
  • I CAN TELL YOU THAT KENDALAND I HAVE ALLOWED THIS MAN'S
  • 00:27:11.590 --> 00:27:13.192
  • AND I HAVE ALLOWED THIS MAN'SMINISTRY TO IMPACT OUR LIVES.
  • 00:27:13.192 --> 00:27:14.460
  • MINISTRY TO IMPACT OUR LIVES.WE ENCOURAGE YOU TO DO
  • 00:27:14.460 --> 00:27:15.261
  • WE ENCOURAGE YOU TO DOTHE SAME.
  • 00:27:15.261 --> 00:27:15.895
  • THE SAME.DR. EMERSON,
  • 00:27:15.895 --> 00:27:17.663
  • DR. EMERSON,THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.
  • 00:27:17.663 --> 00:27:18.964
  • THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.THANK YOU FOR BEING A PART OF
  • 00:27:18.964 --> 00:27:20.266
  • THANK YOU FOR BEING A PART OF"THE DIFFERENCE" TODAY.
  • 00:27:20.266 --> 00:27:29.010