Colour Conference: Main Stage | TBN

Colour Conference: Main Stage

Watch Colour Conference:  Main Stage
November 22, 2016
1:16:39

Manhood Panel

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Colour Conference: Main Stage

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  • - Bobbie Houston: The story of
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  • our Sisterhood is the story
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  • of us.
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  • It is this gorgeous tapestry
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  • of lives interwoven
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  • as followers of Jesus Christ.
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  • You have permission to rise up
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  • and be who God has called you
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  • to be.
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  • The beauty of the gospel
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  • is the mystery.
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  • God the Father chose
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  • not to abandon us.
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  • People are lost in the fields.
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  • And right now, girls,
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  • the fields are calling us.
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  • - Bobbie: So without doubt,
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  • God is calling the entire planet
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  • homeward, men and women,
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  • young people, children,
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  • everyone together, amen?
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  • And you know what?
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  • I really felt, I felt God prompt
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  • me.
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  • He prompted me about the sons.
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  • He prompted me about the men.
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  • And he dropped, he said,
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  • "I want you to do this session,"
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  • that we, as women,
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  • can live with greater insight
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  • into the hearts and the lives,
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  • and sometimes the complexities,
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  • and the challenges,
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  • and the wonder of the men
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  • - Brian Houston: I do wanna
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  • talk to you about men.
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  • There are a lot of women here
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  • who, perhaps, do have a man in
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  • your life, or had, at some point
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  • had a man in your life,
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  • or are believing one day
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  • to have a man in your life,
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  • or will never, ever allow
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  • another man in your life again.
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  • But I wanna talk in particular
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  • about men's happiness.
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  • The Apostle Paul said,
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  • Acts 26, verse 2:
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  • "I think myself happy."
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  • I'm sure that men,
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  • women as well,
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  • can think themselves happy,
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  • or can think themselves unhappy.
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  • But I do know that
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  • fundamentally, a lot of men
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  • are just not happy.
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  • Now, that's obviously
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  • not all men.
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  • Many men are happy too,
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  • and contented.
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  • But there may be men
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  • in people's lives here
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  • who are just not happy.
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  • And of course, as a wife,
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  • or somebody who loves a guy,
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  • that's hard for you to carry
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  • because you can feel helpless.
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  • You can feel like there's
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  • not a whole lot you can do
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  • about it.
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  • Then there's what Job said.
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  • It's Job chapter 7, verse 7,
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  • Job said: "'O God,
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  • remember that my life
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  • is but a breath.
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  • And I will never again feel
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  • happiness.'"
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  • In Job chapter 9, verse 25
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  • Job said: "'My life passes
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  • away more swiftly than a runner.
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  • It flees away without a glimpse
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  • of happiness.'"
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  • Job got to the point where
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  • he believed he could never
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  • be happy again.
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  • I don't think a lot of people
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  • understand just how many men
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  • are not completely fulfilled,
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  • are empty, or just not happy.
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  • Because men, for a start,
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  • can be emotional closed books.
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  • And then secondly,
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  • can try to portray
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  • an outward persona of
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  • bein' a happy-go-lucky guy.
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  • But I've learned over the years,
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  • as someone who's basically
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  • worked close to people
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  • for a long, long time, that,
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  • in fact, many men,
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  • including Christian men,
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  • deal with that sense
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  • of emptiness and unhappiness
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  • on the inside.
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  • We've had the opportunity over
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  • the years to work closely
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  • to a lot of people
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  • in very prominent positions,
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  • specifically, sports people,
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  • and people in other walks
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  • of life.
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  • And here in Australia I think
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  • it's only becoming obvious
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  • that many of those sports stars
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  • are empty, are unhappy
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  • on the inside.
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  • Depression is such a real thing
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  • to people who seem like
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  • they've got everything,
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  • and yet on the inside feel
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  • so vacant, feel so empty.
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  • They call it, "Black dog,"
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  • I think it is, depression.
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  • And many sports stars,
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  • football stars, can have
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  • this outward world which people
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  • would envy, especially men
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  • would envy, and yet are
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  • suicidal and depressed,
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  • have this emptiness
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  • on the inside.
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  • So I've learned never
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  • to underestimate the potential
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  • for men to be unhappy.
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  • And well, in Australia,
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  • I know there's people here from
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  • other parts of the world,
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  • there's a lot of pressure
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  • on men.
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  • I'm sure, in fact, there
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  • is in every part of the world.
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  • And I'll say it one more time,
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  • not exclusively, just men.
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  • But the idea that you
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  • can't show any weakness,
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  • you have to be tough.
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  • The idea that men aren't
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  • vulnerable or transparent.
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  • They do become a closed
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  • book emotionally.
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  • The idea that real men
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  • don't cry.
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  • I fail on that because anytime
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  • anything happy happens on TV
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  • or in a movie, I mean,
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  • if I were to take my grandkids
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  • to watch "Frozen,"
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  • I'd be [sobbing]
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  • So I fail on the not crying.
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  • I remember when my son Joel
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  • who's here, he was a little boy,
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  • and we, he and I were on the
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  • lounge one Saturday, watching
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  • "Kimba the White Lion."
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  • And I looked down at Joel,
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  • and Joel is just [sniffling]
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  • sobbing like this.
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  • But the only thing is,
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  • I was a grown man,
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  • and [sniffling] I was sobbing
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  • nearly as hard as he was
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  • at poor little
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  • "Kimba the White Lion."
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  • So I kind of failed on that.
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  • But then there's
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  • a pressure for men to succeed,
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  • not to be a failure.
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  • And with that can come
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  • so much disappointment.
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  • The gap, perhaps,
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  • for a man between where
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  • he thought he would be
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  • at in terms of success,
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  • no matter how you wanna measure
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  • success, and his real world,
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  • it can leave something of a void
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  • on the inside for people.
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  • There's the pressure,
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  • "You've gotta be in control.
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  • You've gotta be in charge."
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  • Which, rightly or wrongly,
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  • sometimes men can feel.
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  • There's the pressure
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  • in Australia abiding by the code
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  • of mateship.
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  • One of the great things about
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  • Australia is the idea
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  • of mates and mateship.
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  • It's cool.
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  • But there are a weird set
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  • of rules around mateship.
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  • First one's called
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  • when you love your mates.
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  • Second one is you never
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  • squeal on your mates.
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  • In other words,
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  • you never tell stories
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  • about your mates.
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  • Third one is you'll fight
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  • for your mates.
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  • You might lose your life, but
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  • you'll stand up for your mates.
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  • And the fourth one's perhaps the
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  • oddest of all, you never sleep
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  • with your best mate's wife.
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  • Which is a little weird because,
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  • by inference it could sound like
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  • you can sleep with anyone else's
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  • wife, as long as it's not
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  • your best mate's wife.
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  • A little odd.
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  • But the other thing, of course,
  • 00:07:00.280 --> 00:07:01.260
  • is men put a lot of pressure
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  • on themselves.
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  • They have that high expectation
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  • to succeed, that responsibility
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  • to protect and provide for those
  • 00:07:09.160 --> 00:07:11.270
  • who love, and to love their
  • 00:07:12.040 --> 00:07:15.040
  • wives and love their children.
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  • That responsibility that
  • 00:07:18.170 --> 00:07:19.260
  • you do have to be tough,
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  • and be a man's man.
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  • You can't show any glitches.
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  • There's the pressure to be
  • 00:07:27.150 --> 00:07:28.120
  • a man of God for Christian men,
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  • and to live as a man of God
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  • in a world where,
  • 00:07:34.070 --> 00:07:35.260
  • perhaps for a lot of people,
  • 00:07:35.260 --> 00:07:37.040
  • that's a foreign concept.
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  • So there's just pressures that
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  • go with every season of life.
  • 00:07:40.180 --> 00:07:42.160
  • Man gets into his 40s,
  • 00:07:42.160 --> 00:07:43.290
  • and suddenly, now,
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  • he's at the point where perhaps
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  • he is comparing where he
  • 00:07:46.050 --> 00:07:47.100
  • is at versus where
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  • he hoped he would be at,
  • 00:07:48.180 --> 00:07:49.230
  • and the emptiness that may come
  • 00:07:49.230 --> 00:07:50.190
  • with not being as successful
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  • as you thought, and
  • 00:07:52.240 --> 00:07:53.290
  • feeling like you're a failure.
  • 00:07:53.290 --> 00:07:55.040
  • Or perhaps, being successful
  • 00:07:55.040 --> 00:07:56.130
  • but finding that success,
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  • no matter how you would term it,
  • 00:07:57.210 --> 00:08:00.150
  • doesn't fill the void
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  • that's on the inside.
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  • You're still you.
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  • It doesn't do anything to change
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  • how you fundamentally feel.
  • 00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:08.020
  • So a man can get into his 50s,
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  • and his family are growing up,
  • 00:08:09.140 --> 00:08:11.080
  • and seasons change.
  • 00:08:11.080 --> 00:08:12.200
  • And now, perhaps you find
  • 00:08:12.200 --> 00:08:13.290
  • yourselves empty nesters.
  • 00:08:13.290 --> 00:08:15.150
  • And just all of the things
  • 00:08:15.150 --> 00:08:16.210
  • that can go on.
  • 00:08:16.210 --> 00:08:17.220
  • Again, I do think that midlife
  • 00:08:17.220 --> 00:08:18.260
  • crises isn't just something
  • 00:08:18.260 --> 00:08:21.000
  • that relates to women.
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  • It clearly can relate to men.
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  • So if I look at my own life,
  • 00:08:25.280 --> 00:08:28.280
  • I was the kinda guy when I grew
  • 00:08:28.280 --> 00:08:29.250
  • up where I was full of vision,
  • 00:08:29.250 --> 00:08:31.270
  • full of life.
  • 00:08:31.270 --> 00:08:33.150
  • I thought that things like
  • 00:08:33.150 --> 00:08:35.120
  • burnout were for other people.
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  • It certainly wasn't my world,
  • 00:08:37.190 --> 00:08:39.190
  • not something that I thought
  • 00:08:39.190 --> 00:08:41.090
  • would ever happen to me,
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  • or could ever happen to me.
  • 00:08:42.100 --> 00:08:44.080
  • I just believed that life was
  • 00:08:44.080 --> 00:08:47.000
  • kind of a breeze in many ways.
  • 00:08:47.000 --> 00:08:49.150
  • That's where I was at.
  • 00:08:49.150 --> 00:08:50.250
  • And then, it's well documented,
  • 00:08:50.250 --> 00:08:52.020
  • it's clearly known,
  • 00:08:52.020 --> 00:08:53.110
  • that in some ways my life
  • 00:08:53.110 --> 00:08:55.080
  • changed in 1999 when I first
  • 00:08:56.270 --> 00:08:59.270
  • found out that my father,
  • 00:08:59.270 --> 00:09:01.100
  • many years before, had abused
  • 00:09:01.100 --> 00:09:03.030
  • young people, children,
  • 00:09:03.030 --> 00:09:05.130
  • was basically a pedophile.
  • 00:09:05.130 --> 00:09:07.010
  • And obviously, that
  • 00:09:07.010 --> 00:09:08.260
  • was the worst day of my life
  • 00:09:08.260 --> 00:09:10.050
  • when I found that out.
  • 00:09:10.050 --> 00:09:12.070
  • But it kinda, obviously,
  • 00:09:12.070 --> 00:09:15.030
  • for people who were abused, and
  • 00:09:15.030 --> 00:09:16.230
  • who are victims or survivors,
  • 00:09:16.230 --> 00:09:19.080
  • a whole lot worse for them
  • 00:09:19.080 --> 00:09:20.140
  • than for me.
  • 00:09:20.140 --> 00:09:22.020
  • But it did have a fallout
  • 00:09:22.020 --> 00:09:23.010
  • for me.
  • 00:09:23.010 --> 00:09:24.070
  • And at a time when my own world
  • 00:09:24.070 --> 00:09:25.120
  • was exploding externally,
  • 00:09:26.100 --> 00:09:29.100
  • I think I started to implode
  • 00:09:29.100 --> 00:09:31.230
  • internally at the time.
  • 00:09:31.230 --> 00:09:33.240
  • Not only was I leading
  • 00:09:33.240 --> 00:09:34.190
  • a denomination that I was pastor
  • 00:09:34.190 --> 00:09:35.280
  • of a church, and a well-known
  • 00:09:35.280 --> 00:09:38.120
  • prominent church, and as part of
  • 00:09:38.120 --> 00:09:40.100
  • that church in our City Campus,
  • 00:09:40.100 --> 00:09:41.240
  • that was our City Campus
  • 00:09:42.140 --> 00:09:45.140
  • where my father himself
  • 00:09:45.140 --> 00:09:46.200
  • was pastor for 22 years.
  • 00:09:46.200 --> 00:09:48.270
  • So having to lead people
  • 00:09:48.270 --> 00:09:50.150
  • through all of this.
  • 00:09:50.150 --> 00:09:51.240
  • And I'll never forget when
  • 00:09:51.240 --> 00:09:53.010
  • I talked to my kids.
  • 00:09:53.010 --> 00:09:53.290
  • I've told this story so many
  • 00:09:53.290 --> 00:09:54.250
  • times.
  • 00:09:54.250 --> 00:09:55.150
  • But I'll never forget talking
  • 00:09:55.150 --> 00:09:56.180
  • to Ben 'cause I remember saying
  • 00:09:56.180 --> 00:09:57.270
  • to Ben, "Ben, I hope
  • 00:09:57.270 --> 00:09:59.100
  • this doesn't affect your faith."
  • 00:09:59.100 --> 00:10:01.120
  • He said,
  • 00:10:01.120 --> 00:10:02.100
  • "Dad, that's not gonna happen.
  • 00:10:02.100 --> 00:10:03.110
  • I've had my own revelation
  • 00:10:03.110 --> 00:10:04.060
  • of Jesus."
  • 00:10:04.060 --> 00:10:05.250
  • As a father, those were
  • 00:10:05.250 --> 00:10:06.250
  • unbelievable words,
  • 00:10:06.250 --> 00:10:08.060
  • incredible words to hear.
  • 00:10:10.040 --> 00:10:13.040
  • So like I say, I think I dealt
  • 00:10:13.040 --> 00:10:14.090
  • with it on a whole lot
  • 00:10:14.090 --> 00:10:15.130
  • of levels, and I went into
  • 00:10:15.130 --> 00:10:17.040
  • leadership mode when it came
  • 00:10:17.040 --> 00:10:18.120
  • to other people.
  • 00:10:18.120 --> 00:10:21.080
  • So what I found was,
  • 00:10:21.080 --> 00:10:22.170
  • on the inside, my life was
  • 00:10:22.170 --> 00:10:24.250
  • just starting to implode.
  • 00:10:24.250 --> 00:10:27.130
  • I was traveling a lot.
  • 00:10:27.130 --> 00:10:29.170
  • As a result of that,
  • 00:10:29.170 --> 00:10:30.240
  • I started taking a sleeping
  • 00:10:30.240 --> 00:10:32.020
  • tablet on the airplane
  • 00:10:32.020 --> 00:10:33.090
  • to help me sleep,
  • 00:10:33.090 --> 00:10:34.090
  • get over jet lag.
  • 00:10:34.090 --> 00:10:35.250
  • That part was fine.
  • 00:10:35.250 --> 00:10:37.200
  • But soon it wasn't long before
  • 00:10:37.200 --> 00:10:39.080
  • 1 sleeping tablet maybe on
  • 00:10:39.080 --> 00:10:41.130
  • a plane would give me 2 hours,
  • 00:10:41.130 --> 00:10:42.230
  • 3 hours sleep.
  • 00:10:42.230 --> 00:10:43.190
  • Other people, it was giving
  • 00:10:43.190 --> 00:10:44.180
  • like 9 hours sleep.
  • 00:10:44.180 --> 00:10:45.210
  • So going on long flights
  • 00:10:45.210 --> 00:10:47.040
  • I started taking
  • 00:10:47.040 --> 00:10:48.210
  • two sleeping tablets.
  • 00:10:48.210 --> 00:10:50.200
  • Then I got to the point where
  • 00:10:50.200 --> 00:10:52.250
  • not only could I not sleep in
  • 00:10:52.250 --> 00:10:53.290
  • my bed, I actually got diagnosed
  • 00:10:53.290 --> 00:10:56.210
  • as having, like,
  • 00:10:56.210 --> 00:10:57.200
  • a permanent jet lag.
  • 00:10:57.200 --> 00:10:59.130
  • But again, my happiness
  • 00:10:59.130 --> 00:11:01.110
  • was being eroded.
  • 00:11:01.110 --> 00:11:03.050
  • Life, for so many other people,
  • 00:11:03.050 --> 00:11:04.220
  • would look for
  • 00:11:04.220 --> 00:11:05.170
  • Bobbie and I like our world
  • 00:11:05.170 --> 00:11:08.050
  • was this perfect little world.
  • 00:11:08.100 --> 00:11:11.100
  • But Bobbie had the pain
  • 00:11:11.100 --> 00:11:12.080
  • of dealing with a husband
  • 00:11:12.080 --> 00:11:13.080
  • who she knew on the inside
  • 00:11:13.080 --> 00:11:14.150
  • wasn't doing well at all,
  • 00:11:14.150 --> 00:11:16.280
  • trying to carry that while
  • 00:11:16.280 --> 00:11:17.280
  • she was carrying so much else.
  • 00:11:17.280 --> 00:11:19.290
  • And the woman's a freak.
  • 00:11:19.290 --> 00:11:21.020
  • She's incredible.
  • 00:11:21.050 --> 00:11:24.050
  • - Brian: Nobody escapes
  • 00:11:30.010 --> 00:11:31.290
  • the realities of sometimes
  • 00:11:31.290 --> 00:11:33.050
  • having to address things on
  • 00:11:33.050 --> 00:11:34.160
  • the inside and living our lives
  • 00:11:34.160 --> 00:11:36.130
  • in a way where we'd address
  • 00:11:36.130 --> 00:11:38.040
  • what's really going on.
  • 00:11:38.040 --> 00:11:40.180
  • Sometimes we're,
  • 00:11:40.180 --> 00:11:43.040
  • we can mask it to a level
  • 00:11:43.040 --> 00:11:44.120
  • at some point, but everything
  • 00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:46.030
  • suffered during that time.
  • 00:11:46.030 --> 00:11:48.020
  • Bobbie was carrying me,
  • 00:11:48.020 --> 00:11:49.050
  • so it had to have an impact
  • 00:11:49.050 --> 00:11:50.130
  • on our marriage.
  • 00:11:50.130 --> 00:11:51.290
  • My kids, they knew things
  • 00:11:51.290 --> 00:11:53.040
  • weren't well, so it had to have
  • 00:11:53.040 --> 00:11:54.130
  • - Bobbie: I felt God prompt me.
  • 00:12:02.030 --> 00:12:04.150
  • He prompted me about the sons.
  • 00:12:04.150 --> 00:12:06.130
  • He prompted me about the men.
  • 00:12:06.130 --> 00:12:08.020
  • And he dropped, he said,
  • 00:12:08.020 --> 00:12:09.040
  • "I want you to do this session,"
  • 00:12:09.040 --> 00:12:10.240
  • that we, as women,
  • 00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:11.290
  • can live with greater insight
  • 00:12:12.110 --> 00:12:15.110
  • into the hearts and the lives
  • 00:12:15.110 --> 00:12:17.030
  • of the men who are in our world.
  • 00:12:17.130 --> 00:12:20.130
  • - Brian: My happiness was being
  • 00:12:20.130 --> 00:12:21.100
  • eroded.
  • 00:12:21.100 --> 00:12:23.020
  • Life, for so many other people,
  • 00:12:23.020 --> 00:12:24.240
  • would look for Bobbie and I
  • 00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:25.210
  • like our world was this perfect
  • 00:12:25.210 --> 00:12:27.280
  • little world.
  • 00:12:27.280 --> 00:12:29.110
  • But Bobbie had the pain of
  • 00:12:29.110 --> 00:12:30.130
  • dealing with a husband who she
  • 00:12:30.130 --> 00:12:31.200
  • knew on the inside wasn't doing
  • 00:12:31.200 --> 00:12:32.230
  • well at all, trying to carry
  • 00:12:32.230 --> 00:12:34.270
  • that while she was carrying
  • 00:12:34.270 --> 00:12:35.220
  • - Brian: So I'd gotten
  • 00:12:40.260 --> 00:12:42.000
  • to the point where I was
  • 00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:42.270
  • taking a sleeping tablet
  • 00:12:42.270 --> 00:12:44.090
  • every night of my life.
  • 00:12:44.090 --> 00:12:46.100
  • And basically, became dependent
  • 00:12:46.100 --> 00:12:48.160
  • on sleeping tablets.
  • 00:12:48.160 --> 00:12:51.100
  • And it was all something that,
  • 00:12:51.100 --> 00:12:53.180
  • again, you would never imagine
  • 00:12:53.180 --> 00:12:54.250
  • would happen to you.
  • 00:12:54.250 --> 00:12:55.270
  • That was for other people.
  • 00:12:56.010 --> 00:12:59.010
  • Well, maybe 3, 4 years ago,
  • 00:12:59.010 --> 00:13:00.240
  • some of you maybe remember that
  • 00:13:00.240 --> 00:13:02.150
  • we had these Hillsong One Days.
  • 00:13:02.150 --> 00:13:05.010
  • So in those Hillsong One Days,
  • 00:13:05.010 --> 00:13:06.100
  • it was 25 years
  • 00:13:06.100 --> 00:13:07.070
  • of Hillsong Conference
  • 00:13:07.070 --> 00:13:08.050
  • that we went to the bigger,
  • 00:13:08.050 --> 00:13:09.240
  • major cities in Australia
  • 00:13:09.240 --> 00:13:11.120
  • and held
  • 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:12.030
  • 2-night One Day Conferences.
  • 00:13:12.030 --> 00:13:13.270
  • Well, by that stage,
  • 00:13:13.270 --> 00:13:15.080
  • I had reached crisis point.
  • 00:13:15.080 --> 00:13:17.100
  • I remember coming into
  • 00:13:17.100 --> 00:13:18.120
  • those nights and tryin' to
  • 00:13:18.120 --> 00:13:20.220
  • lead the conference,
  • 00:13:20.220 --> 00:13:22.050
  • the little One Day Conferences.
  • 00:13:22.050 --> 00:13:24.060
  • My mind had become so scattered,
  • 00:13:24.060 --> 00:13:25.240
  • I was in such a mess internally,
  • 00:13:26.010 --> 00:13:29.010
  • that I literally was having
  • 00:13:29.010 --> 00:13:30.180
  • to ask people every 2 seconds,
  • 00:13:30.180 --> 00:13:31.230
  • "What do we do next?
  • 00:13:31.230 --> 00:13:32.200
  • What do we do next?
  • 00:13:32.200 --> 00:13:33.130
  • What's the thing that's coming
  • 00:13:33.130 --> 00:13:34.130
  • next?"
  • 00:13:34.130 --> 00:13:35.160
  • And I'm certain a lot of people
  • 00:13:35.160 --> 00:13:36.180
  • could see what was going on,
  • 00:13:36.180 --> 00:13:38.170
  • though the people around me
  • 00:13:38.170 --> 00:13:39.270
  • tried to assure me that
  • 00:13:39.270 --> 00:13:40.270
  • they couldn't.
  • 00:13:40.270 --> 00:13:42.020
  • I remember going for dinner
  • 00:13:42.020 --> 00:13:43.040
  • one night after the night
  • 00:13:43.040 --> 00:13:45.000
  • of Brisbane, and I was with
  • 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:46.220
  • a group of people.
  • 00:13:46.220 --> 00:13:47.200
  • And we were out for dinner, and
  • 00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:48.190
  • I was so fidgety, I literally
  • 00:13:48.190 --> 00:13:49.240
  • sat on my hands the whole night
  • 00:13:49.240 --> 00:13:52.150
  • because I knew if I didn't,
  • 00:13:52.150 --> 00:13:53.190
  • my hands would be just,
  • 00:13:53.190 --> 00:13:55.060
  • I would've been just constantly
  • 00:13:55.060 --> 00:13:56.220
  • fidgeting.
  • 00:13:56.220 --> 00:13:57.220
  • I had reached that kind of
  • 00:13:57.220 --> 00:13:58.270
  • point.
  • 00:13:58.270 --> 00:13:59.270
  • And somehow,
  • 00:13:59.270 --> 00:14:00.230
  • with incredible people like
  • 00:14:00.230 --> 00:14:02.000
  • Joel and Julia A'Bell,
  • 00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:03.090
  • and obviously, Bobbie,
  • 00:14:03.090 --> 00:14:04.210
  • and others helping me through
  • 00:14:04.210 --> 00:14:06.020
  • it, only a few knew
  • 00:14:06.020 --> 00:14:07.040
  • what was really going on,
  • 00:14:07.040 --> 00:14:08.210
  • we got through those nights.
  • 00:14:08.210 --> 00:14:09.230
  • And straight after I was up in
  • 00:14:09.230 --> 00:14:11.180
  • Noosa, where I was going to be
  • 00:14:11.180 --> 00:14:14.160
  • speaking at our Sunday night
  • 00:14:14.160 --> 00:14:16.130
  • service in Noosa.
  • 00:14:16.130 --> 00:14:17.180
  • Now, Noosa, for us,
  • 00:14:17.180 --> 00:14:18.210
  • it's one of our smaller
  • 00:14:18.210 --> 00:14:19.250
  • campuses.
  • 00:14:19.250 --> 00:14:20.220
  • Noosa's a small city,
  • 00:14:20.220 --> 00:14:21.240
  • 40.000 people.
  • 00:14:21.240 --> 00:14:23.070
  • So naturally speaking,
  • 00:14:23.070 --> 00:14:24.180
  • it should've been a breeze.
  • 00:14:24.180 --> 00:14:25.220
  • And I was prepared.
  • 00:14:25.220 --> 00:14:26.210
  • I was totally prepared.
  • 00:14:26.210 --> 00:14:27.180
  • But I knew I was in trouble
  • 00:14:27.180 --> 00:14:28.160
  • because when I went to walk up
  • 00:14:28.160 --> 00:14:29.290
  • onto the platform,
  • 00:14:29.290 --> 00:14:31.020
  • I literally almost collapsed
  • 00:14:31.020 --> 00:14:33.030
  • just getting up on the platform.
  • 00:14:33.030 --> 00:14:35.140
  • And it was the worst feeling
  • 00:14:35.140 --> 00:14:36.090
  • because, like I say,
  • 00:14:36.090 --> 00:14:37.040
  • I had prepared, but I've never
  • 00:14:37.040 --> 00:14:38.030
  • felt more unprepared.
  • 00:14:38.030 --> 00:14:40.120
  • I felt like a Sunday school
  • 00:14:40.120 --> 00:14:42.250
  • lesson.
  • 00:14:42.250 --> 00:14:45.140
  • In fact, I felt more like
  • 00:14:45.140 --> 00:14:46.150
  • one of the children tryin' to
  • 00:14:46.150 --> 00:14:48.070
  • concentrate, or tryin' to speak,
  • 00:14:48.070 --> 00:14:50.140
  • than--to the point where,
  • 00:14:50.140 --> 00:14:51.250
  • at the end,
  • 00:14:51.250 --> 00:14:52.280
  • I did what I've done so many
  • 00:14:52.280 --> 00:14:53.270
  • times over 40 years plus,
  • 00:14:53.270 --> 00:14:55.060
  • and that is invite people
  • 00:14:55.060 --> 00:14:56.160
  • to come to Jesus.
  • 00:14:56.160 --> 00:14:58.100
  • And it was like I was
  • 00:14:58.100 --> 00:14:59.150
  • talking like a baby.
  • 00:14:59.150 --> 00:15:01.060
  • I couldn't even do
  • 00:15:01.060 --> 00:15:01.280
  • a simple altar call.
  • 00:15:01.280 --> 00:15:03.230
  • So later that night I literally
  • 00:15:03.230 --> 00:15:05.140
  • had a full-blown panic attack.
  • 00:15:06.030 --> 00:15:09.030
  • I didn't know what
  • 00:15:09.030 --> 00:15:09.280
  • was happening.
  • 00:15:09.280 --> 00:15:10.220
  • I literally thought I was dying.
  • 00:15:10.220 --> 00:15:12.120
  • I couldn't breathe.
  • 00:15:12.120 --> 00:15:13.080
  • I'm going to Bobbie,
  • 00:15:13.080 --> 00:15:14.040
  • "I can't breathe.
  • 00:15:14.040 --> 00:15:15.000
  • I can't breathe.
  • 00:15:15.000 --> 00:15:15.250
  • Call an ambulance.
  • 00:15:15.250 --> 00:15:16.160
  • I can't breathe."
  • 00:15:16.160 --> 00:15:17.200
  • She knew what it was.
  • 00:15:17.200 --> 00:15:19.140
  • We tried to contact my doctor,
  • 00:15:19.140 --> 00:15:20.230
  • and we managed to get through
  • 00:15:20.230 --> 00:15:22.140
  • to Joe at midnight, and he
  • 00:15:22.140 --> 00:15:24.220
  • was able to talk me through it.
  • 00:15:24.220 --> 00:15:25.230
  • So as a result of that,
  • 00:15:25.230 --> 00:15:28.230
  • not Dr. Joe talkin' to us,
  • 00:15:28.230 --> 00:15:30.110
  • but other doctors told me
  • 00:15:30.110 --> 00:15:31.150
  • I would probably have
  • 00:15:31.150 --> 00:15:32.160
  • panic attacks for the rest
  • 00:15:32.160 --> 00:15:33.180
  • of my life.
  • 00:15:33.180 --> 00:15:35.080
  • And you know, I had one slight
  • 00:15:35.080 --> 00:15:36.190
  • incident around that same time
  • 00:15:36.190 --> 00:15:38.180
  • in New York that was a little
  • 00:15:38.180 --> 00:15:40.140
  • bit of the same thing,
  • 00:15:40.140 --> 00:15:41.190
  • but I've never, ever had another
  • 00:15:41.190 --> 00:15:42.220
  • panic attack in my life.
  • 00:15:42.220 --> 00:15:44.180
  • And I'm believing I never will
  • 00:15:44.180 --> 00:15:45.170
  • have another panic attack
  • 00:15:45.170 --> 00:15:46.260
  • in my life.
  • 00:15:49.200 --> 00:15:52.200
  • Once was enough in terms
  • 00:15:52.200 --> 00:15:53.200
  • of how that felt.
  • 00:15:53.200 --> 00:15:55.080
  • And as you can imagine,
  • 00:15:55.080 --> 00:15:56.190
  • I was more or less
  • 00:15:56.190 --> 00:15:57.150
  • told I was gonna have to take
  • 00:15:57.150 --> 00:15:58.120
  • 12 months off.
  • 00:15:58.120 --> 00:15:59.070
  • "And otherwise,
  • 00:15:59.070 --> 00:16:00.040
  • this is just gonna stay.
  • 00:16:00.040 --> 00:16:00.270
  • This will be your future."
  • 00:16:00.270 --> 00:16:01.220
  • Well, made some adjustments
  • 00:16:01.220 --> 00:16:02.250
  • in my life.
  • 00:16:02.250 --> 00:16:04.020
  • Started doing some things
  • 00:16:04.020 --> 00:16:05.030
  • differently.
  • 00:16:05.030 --> 00:16:06.060
  • Changed, in some ways,
  • 00:16:06.060 --> 00:16:07.190
  • the way that I do life in terms
  • 00:16:07.190 --> 00:16:09.050
  • of travel, and allowed other
  • 00:16:09.050 --> 00:16:11.160
  • people to carry more of what
  • 00:16:11.160 --> 00:16:13.060
  • Bobbie and I were carrying.
  • 00:16:13.060 --> 00:16:14.180
  • And I can tell you honestly,
  • 00:16:14.180 --> 00:16:15.280
  • 4 years on,
  • 00:16:15.280 --> 00:16:17.170
  • that I'm whole, and I'm healed,
  • 00:16:17.170 --> 00:16:18.260
  • and on the inside I feel strong.
  • 00:16:18.260 --> 00:16:20.220
  • And it was the craziest thing
  • 00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:24.000
  • because I mentioned sleeping
  • 00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:26.090
  • tablets, and the other good news
  • 00:16:26.090 --> 00:16:28.170
  • is that over, well over 2 years,
  • 00:16:28.170 --> 00:16:30.170
  • 2 and 1/2 years,
  • 00:16:30.170 --> 00:16:31.140
  • I've never taken even
  • 00:16:31.140 --> 00:16:32.060
  • 1 single sleeping tablet,
  • 00:16:32.060 --> 00:16:34.080
  • and have been sleeping
  • 00:16:34.080 --> 00:16:35.210
  • like a baby.
  • 00:16:35.210 --> 00:16:38.040
  • So I've told you all of that not
  • 00:16:38.040 --> 00:16:40.180
  • just because I could have you
  • 00:16:40.180 --> 00:16:41.240
  • think, "Poor me," but because
  • 00:16:41.240 --> 00:16:44.160
  • I want you to know that nobody
  • 00:16:44.160 --> 00:16:46.090
  • escapes the realities
  • 00:16:46.090 --> 00:16:48.120
  • of sometimes having
  • 00:16:48.120 --> 00:16:49.090
  • to address things on the inside,
  • 00:16:49.090 --> 00:16:51.020
  • and living our lives
  • 00:16:51.020 --> 00:16:52.070
  • in a way where we address
  • 00:16:52.070 --> 00:16:53.280
  • what's really going on.
  • 00:16:53.280 --> 00:16:56.270
  • Sometimes we're, we can mask it
  • 00:16:56.270 --> 00:16:59.110
  • to a level at some point,
  • 00:16:59.110 --> 00:17:00.250
  • but everything suffered during
  • 00:17:00.250 --> 00:17:02.100
  • that time.
  • 00:17:02.100 --> 00:17:03.250
  • Bobbie was carrying me,
  • 00:17:03.250 --> 00:17:04.270
  • so it had to have an impact
  • 00:17:04.270 --> 00:17:06.100
  • on our marriage.
  • 00:17:06.100 --> 00:17:08.010
  • My kids, they knew things
  • 00:17:08.010 --> 00:17:08.290
  • weren't well, so it had to have
  • 00:17:08.290 --> 00:17:10.010
  • an impact on them.
  • 00:17:10.010 --> 00:17:12.010
  • Children, fundamentally,
  • 00:17:12.010 --> 00:17:14.070
  • love their parents.
  • 00:17:14.070 --> 00:17:14.290
  • And if their parents
  • 00:17:14.290 --> 00:17:16.150
  • are struggling, they're gonna be
  • 00:17:16.150 --> 00:17:17.270
  • struggling as well.
  • 00:17:17.270 --> 00:17:20.090
  • I think living with an unhappy
  • 00:17:20.090 --> 00:17:21.060
  • person, you can feel
  • 00:17:21.060 --> 00:17:22.070
  • so helpless.
  • 00:17:22.070 --> 00:17:24.000
  • We've got the greatest
  • 00:17:24.000 --> 00:17:24.240
  • of all power in prayer.
  • 00:17:24.240 --> 00:17:26.290
  • I know that much of the reason
  • 00:17:26.290 --> 00:17:28.140
  • that today I feel stronger than
  • 00:17:28.140 --> 00:17:29.290
  • probably I've felt for a long,
  • 00:17:29.290 --> 00:17:31.120
  • long time is because
  • 00:17:31.120 --> 00:17:33.080
  • of Bobbie and people who
  • 00:17:33.080 --> 00:17:34.160
  • loved me's prayer.
  • 00:17:34.160 --> 00:17:36.150
  • But you can wonder, really,
  • 00:17:36.150 --> 00:17:37.170
  • what to do.
  • 00:17:37.170 --> 00:17:39.040
  • So the advice I give men
  • 00:17:39.040 --> 00:17:41.080
  • when it comes to happiness
  • 00:17:41.080 --> 00:17:43.180
  • is number one, live outwardly,
  • 00:17:43.190 --> 00:17:46.190
  • living outwardly.
  • 00:17:46.190 --> 00:17:48.160
  • Live from the inside out
  • 00:17:48.160 --> 00:17:50.100
  • rather from the outside in.
  • 00:17:50.100 --> 00:17:52.160
  • 'Cause I think a lot of men,
  • 00:17:52.160 --> 00:17:53.290
  • because of some of those
  • 00:17:53.290 --> 00:17:55.010
  • pressures I've mentioned,
  • 00:17:55.010 --> 00:17:56.110
  • they live from the outside in.
  • 00:17:56.110 --> 00:17:57.170
  • In other words,
  • 00:17:57.170 --> 00:17:58.130
  • the pressures of their work,
  • 00:17:58.130 --> 00:17:59.130
  • or things that are going
  • 00:17:59.130 --> 00:18:00.100
  • on there, or some of the things
  • 00:18:00.100 --> 00:18:01.130
  • around and about them,
  • 00:18:01.130 --> 00:18:03.070
  • or what comes from the outside,
  • 00:18:03.070 --> 00:18:05.030
  • it starts affecting them
  • 00:18:05.030 --> 00:18:06.020
  • on the inside.
  • 00:18:06.020 --> 00:18:07.170
  • Living outwardly,
  • 00:18:07.170 --> 00:18:09.190
  • it means living generously.
  • 00:18:10.200 --> 00:18:13.200
  • It's so easy for us
  • 00:18:13.200 --> 00:18:15.280
  • to start living our lives,
  • 00:18:15.280 --> 00:18:17.140
  • "What about me?"
  • 00:18:17.140 --> 00:18:19.200
  • If inside a marriage,
  • 00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:20.260
  • if inside any part of life,
  • 00:18:20.260 --> 00:18:23.050
  • our starting point is,
  • 00:18:23.050 --> 00:18:24.000
  • "What about me?"
  • 00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:25.170
  • there is gonna be tension
  • 00:18:25.170 --> 00:18:26.180
  • in the home.
  • 00:18:26.180 --> 00:18:27.120
  • There is gonna be unhappiness
  • 00:18:27.120 --> 00:18:28.120
  • in the home.
  • 00:18:28.120 --> 00:18:29.290
  • When you live from the inside
  • 00:18:29.290 --> 00:18:31.060
  • out, you don't let somebody else
  • 00:18:31.060 --> 00:18:33.110
  • frame your happiness,
  • 00:18:33.110 --> 00:18:34.190
  • necessarily.
  • 00:18:34.190 --> 00:18:36.120
  • You learn to build solidly
  • 00:18:36.120 --> 00:18:38.100
  • on the inside.
  • 00:18:38.100 --> 00:18:39.020
  • God's Word is the perfect help
  • 00:18:39.020 --> 00:18:40.080
  • for us to do that.
  • 00:18:40.080 --> 00:18:42.020
  • It's incredible, though,
  • 00:18:42.020 --> 00:18:43.010
  • how you can preach
  • 00:18:43.010 --> 00:18:43.270
  • the Word of God to others
  • 00:18:43.270 --> 00:18:44.260
  • and help other people for
  • 00:18:44.260 --> 00:18:46.040
  • decades, but stop listening to
  • 00:18:46.040 --> 00:18:49.010
  • your own preaching when it comes
  • 00:18:49.010 --> 00:18:51.130
  • to what's going on inside your
  • 00:18:51.130 --> 00:18:52.260
  • own heart, and what's going on
  • 00:18:52.260 --> 00:18:54.120
  • inside your own soul.
  • 00:18:55.020 --> 00:18:58.020
  • Living from the outside in,
  • 00:18:58.020 --> 00:19:00.250
  • remember Rick Warren's book
  • 00:19:00.250 --> 00:19:03.030
  • "The Purpose-Driven Life"?
  • 00:19:03.030 --> 00:19:05.010
  • Such an incredibly, incredibly,
  • 00:19:05.010 --> 00:19:08.000
  • fruitful, successful book
  • 00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:09.150
  • in terms of how many hands it's
  • 00:19:09.150 --> 00:19:10.210
  • got into, multiply millions
  • 00:19:10.210 --> 00:19:12.230
  • of people.
  • 00:19:12.230 --> 00:19:14.130
  • And the line that stand out
  • 00:19:14.130 --> 00:19:15.260
  • to me, in fact, I'd probably
  • 00:19:15.260 --> 00:19:17.050
  • struggle to tell you much else
  • 00:19:17.050 --> 00:19:18.160
  • about what's in that book except
  • 00:19:18.160 --> 00:19:20.120
  • for the first words:
  • 00:19:20.120 --> 00:19:21.290
  • "It's not about you."
  • 00:19:21.290 --> 00:19:24.000
  • If our starting point--
  • 00:19:24.000 --> 00:19:25.080
  • 'course, everyone needs loving.
  • 00:19:25.080 --> 00:19:26.170
  • Everyone needs support.
  • 00:19:26.170 --> 00:19:27.140
  • Everyone needs input.
  • 00:19:27.140 --> 00:19:30.070
  • But if we're starting point is,
  • 00:19:30.070 --> 00:19:31.220
  • "What about me?"
  • 00:19:31.220 --> 00:19:33.220
  • there will be unhappiness
  • 00:19:33.220 --> 00:19:35.110
  • in your life.
  • 00:19:35.110 --> 00:19:36.130
  • There will be unhappiness
  • 00:19:36.130 --> 00:19:38.010
  • in your world.
  • 00:19:38.010 --> 00:19:39.260
  • Living our lives generously,
  • 00:19:40.020 --> 00:19:43.020
  • it affects our words.
  • 00:19:43.020 --> 00:19:44.240
  • It affects our outlook.
  • 00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:46.060
  • It affects everything
  • 00:19:46.060 --> 00:19:47.200
  • when you start living from
  • 00:19:47.200 --> 00:19:49.020
  • the inside out.
  • 00:19:49.020 --> 00:19:51.270
  • To me, generosity has no strings
  • 00:19:51.270 --> 00:19:53.200
  • attached 'cause it's not about
  • 00:19:53.200 --> 00:19:55.260
  • me.
  • 00:19:55.260 --> 00:19:57.070
  • To me, generosity is others
  • 00:19:57.200 --> 00:20:00.200
  • focused.
  • 00:20:00.200 --> 00:20:03.010
  • And when someone lives
  • 00:20:03.010 --> 00:20:03.290
  • their life not generous,
  • 00:20:03.290 --> 00:20:06.000
  • including when it comes
  • 00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:07.030
  • to our outlook toward money,
  • 00:20:07.030 --> 00:20:09.070
  • if we live tight, you know,
  • 00:20:09.070 --> 00:20:10.290
  • what Proverbs says,
  • 00:20:10.290 --> 00:20:12.110
  • The Message puts it this way,
  • 00:20:12.110 --> 00:20:13.190
  • Proverbs 11: "The world of the
  • 00:20:13.190 --> 00:20:15.240
  • generous gets larger and larger.
  • 00:20:15.240 --> 00:20:18.230
  • The world of the stingy
  • 00:20:18.230 --> 00:20:19.230
  • gets smaller and smaller."
  • 00:20:19.230 --> 00:20:22.010
  • I would put that right down
  • 00:20:22.010 --> 00:20:22.260
  • to someone's emotional world.
  • 00:20:22.260 --> 00:20:24.160
  • If we live generously, we start
  • 00:20:24.160 --> 00:20:26.120
  • living enlarged, we live larger.
  • 00:20:26.250 --> 00:20:29.250
  • If we live stingily,
  • 00:20:29.250 --> 00:20:31.290
  • if a man is stingy when
  • 00:20:31.290 --> 00:20:32.280
  • it comes to his encouragement,
  • 00:20:32.280 --> 00:20:34.130
  • if a man is stingy
  • 00:20:34.130 --> 00:20:35.110
  • when it comes to the input he's
  • 00:20:35.110 --> 00:20:36.180
  • putting into his own children,
  • 00:20:36.180 --> 00:20:38.110
  • if a man becomes stingy
  • 00:20:38.110 --> 00:20:39.280
  • in his ability to simply say,
  • 00:20:39.280 --> 00:20:41.040
  • "I love you," then it's gonna
  • 00:20:42.030 --> 00:20:45.030
  • have an effect on his own life.
  • 00:20:45.030 --> 00:20:47.160
  • Unhappy people treat people
  • 00:20:47.250 --> 00:20:50.250
  • badly.
  • 00:20:50.250 --> 00:20:52.290
  • If you live with someone
  • 00:20:52.290 --> 00:20:53.240
  • who is not treating you well,
  • 00:20:53.240 --> 00:20:55.190
  • it may be at least a little
  • 00:20:55.190 --> 00:20:56.210
  • help for you to know that
  • 00:20:56.210 --> 00:20:58.050
  • it's not about you.
  • 00:20:58.050 --> 00:21:00.150
  • It's not about you.
  • 00:21:00.150 --> 00:21:02.190
  • Unhappy people are mean
  • 00:21:02.190 --> 00:21:05.170
  • to people.
  • 00:21:05.170 --> 00:21:07.130
  • But it's about them.
  • 00:21:07.130 --> 00:21:08.160
  • - Brian: There is something
  • 00:21:13.260 --> 00:21:15.020
  • about a man who knows how to
  • 00:21:15.020 --> 00:21:17.160
  • lead his family as a worshiper,
  • 00:21:18.080 --> 00:21:21.080
  • who knows how to truly, again,
  • 00:21:21.080 --> 00:21:23.050
  • live from the inside out
  • 00:21:23.050 --> 00:21:25.290
  • by honoring God and putting
  • 00:21:25.290 --> 00:21:27.060
  • the glory where the glory needs
  • 00:21:27.060 --> 00:21:28.160
  • to be.
  • 00:21:32.150 --> 00:21:35.150
  • - Bobbie: I felt God prompt me.
  • 00:21:35.150 --> 00:21:37.270
  • He prompted me about the sons.
  • 00:21:37.270 --> 00:21:39.240
  • He prompted me about the men.
  • 00:21:39.240 --> 00:21:41.100
  • And he dropped, he said,
  • 00:21:41.100 --> 00:21:42.170
  • "I want you to do this session,"
  • 00:21:42.170 --> 00:21:44.050
  • that we, as women,
  • 00:21:44.050 --> 00:21:45.270
  • can live with greater insight
  • 00:21:45.270 --> 00:21:48.220
  • into the hearts and the lives
  • 00:21:48.220 --> 00:21:50.230
  • of the men who are in our world.
  • 00:21:51.100 --> 00:21:54.100
  • - Brian: So the advice I give
  • 00:21:54.100 --> 00:21:55.110
  • men when it comes to happiness
  • 00:21:55.270 --> 00:21:58.270
  • is number one, live outwardly,
  • 00:21:59.010 --> 00:22:02.030
  • living outwardly.
  • 00:22:02.030 --> 00:22:03.220
  • Live from the inside out rather
  • 00:22:03.220 --> 00:22:05.230
  • - Brian: Listen to this
  • 00:22:12.030 --> 00:22:12.260
  • Scripture, talking about
  • 00:22:12.260 --> 00:22:13.280
  • generosity.
  • 00:22:13.280 --> 00:22:14.210
  • It's Ecclesiastes chapter 5,
  • 00:22:14.210 --> 00:22:15.250
  • verse 10 and 11.
  • 00:22:15.250 --> 00:22:18.010
  • It says: "Those who love money
  • 00:22:18.010 --> 00:22:19.130
  • will never have enough.
  • 00:22:19.130 --> 00:22:21.010
  • How meaningless to think that
  • 00:22:21.010 --> 00:22:23.140
  • wealth brings true happiness!
  • 00:22:23.280 --> 00:22:26.280
  • The more you have," this is my
  • 00:22:26.280 --> 00:22:28.240
  • favorite part, "the more people
  • 00:22:28.240 --> 00:22:31.160
  • come to help you spend it.
  • 00:22:31.160 --> 00:22:34.150
  • So what good is wealth--except
  • 00:22:34.150 --> 00:22:37.090
  • perhaps to watch it slip
  • 00:22:37.090 --> 00:22:39.110
  • through your fingers!"
  • 00:22:39.110 --> 00:22:42.090
  • 1 Timothy chapter 6, verse 17:
  • 00:22:43.240 --> 00:22:46.240
  • "Command those who are rich
  • 00:22:46.240 --> 00:22:48.050
  • in this present age not
  • 00:22:48.050 --> 00:22:49.250
  • to be haughty nor to trust
  • 00:22:49.250 --> 00:22:52.030
  • in uncertain riches,
  • 00:22:52.030 --> 00:22:54.060
  • but in the living God
  • 00:22:54.060 --> 00:22:55.150
  • who gives us richly all things
  • 00:22:55.150 --> 00:22:57.220
  • to enjoy."
  • 00:22:57.220 --> 00:22:58.230
  • What's "all things" mean?
  • 00:22:58.230 --> 00:22:59.220
  • "All things" means "all things."
  • 00:22:59.220 --> 00:23:02.080
  • God gives us all things,
  • 00:23:02.080 --> 00:23:04.030
  • spiritual things,
  • 00:23:04.030 --> 00:23:05.050
  • physical things,
  • 00:23:05.050 --> 00:23:06.030
  • all things to enjoy.
  • 00:23:06.030 --> 00:23:08.230
  • Sometimes it's not the man's
  • 00:23:08.230 --> 00:23:10.180
  • riches that are a problem,
  • 00:23:10.180 --> 00:23:12.020
  • it's the man's pursuits.
  • 00:23:12.020 --> 00:23:14.120
  • And if we make our lives,
  • 00:23:14.120 --> 00:23:15.220
  • if we make our marriage
  • 00:23:15.220 --> 00:23:17.080
  • about the pursuit of money,
  • 00:23:17.080 --> 00:23:19.050
  • it will lead to unhappiness.
  • 00:23:19.050 --> 00:23:21.000
  • It will never lead to happiness.
  • 00:23:22.130 --> 00:23:25.130
  • I love when I see people
  • 00:23:25.130 --> 00:23:27.210
  • who God is blessing,
  • 00:23:27.210 --> 00:23:28.250
  • and blessing them abundantly.
  • 00:23:28.250 --> 00:23:30.150
  • But it's not about them.
  • 00:23:30.150 --> 00:23:32.150
  • They're blessed.
  • 00:23:32.150 --> 00:23:33.220
  • They live blessed.
  • 00:23:33.220 --> 00:23:35.120
  • But they're outward focused.
  • 00:23:35.120 --> 00:23:37.220
  • They live their life
  • 00:23:37.220 --> 00:23:38.150
  • in a generous way.
  • 00:23:38.150 --> 00:23:40.120
  • Their body language is not that.
  • 00:23:40.120 --> 00:23:42.240
  • It's much more like this.
  • 00:23:42.240 --> 00:23:45.160
  • They're generous.
  • 00:23:45.160 --> 00:23:47.080
  • And again, I think it's a funny
  • 00:23:47.080 --> 00:23:49.050
  • line when it says, "The more you
  • 00:23:49.050 --> 00:23:50.180
  • have, the more people will come
  • 00:23:50.180 --> 00:23:51.230
  • to help you spend it."
  • 00:23:52.070 --> 00:23:55.070
  • I did have lunch, or dinner
  • 00:23:55.070 --> 00:23:57.010
  • actually, with some really,
  • 00:23:57.010 --> 00:23:59.080
  • really, really prominent,
  • 00:23:59.080 --> 00:24:02.000
  • famous sports stars.
  • 00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:03.290
  • And it was kinda funny
  • 00:24:03.290 --> 00:24:05.010
  • because I was sitting in the
  • 00:24:05.010 --> 00:24:06.050
  • middle, and the conversation
  • 00:24:06.050 --> 00:24:07.080
  • going on was about that
  • 00:24:07.080 --> 00:24:09.040
  • exact subject.
  • 00:24:09.040 --> 00:24:11.180
  • It was about the fact that
  • 00:24:11.180 --> 00:24:12.290
  • so many people would try
  • 00:24:12.290 --> 00:24:14.210
  • to hang on, and so many people
  • 00:24:14.210 --> 00:24:16.020
  • want something.
  • 00:24:16.020 --> 00:24:17.270
  • And living generously,
  • 00:24:18.250 --> 00:24:21.250
  • it does mean that we live
  • 00:24:21.250 --> 00:24:23.000
  • thinking about other people
  • 00:24:23.000 --> 00:24:25.070
  • before ourselves.
  • 00:24:25.070 --> 00:24:26.280
  • Someone once asked
  • 00:24:26.280 --> 00:24:27.280
  • a psychologist,
  • 00:24:27.280 --> 00:24:29.010
  • famous psychologist,
  • 00:24:29.010 --> 00:24:30.140
  • or a famous, perhaps,
  • 00:24:30.140 --> 00:24:31.170
  • psychiatrist, but he was
  • 00:24:31.170 --> 00:24:32.250
  • in a lecturing situation
  • 00:24:32.250 --> 00:24:33.280
  • and answering questions.
  • 00:24:33.280 --> 00:24:36.060
  • And someone asked him,
  • 00:24:36.060 --> 00:24:37.220
  • "What was the first piece
  • 00:24:37.220 --> 00:24:39.140
  • of advice you would give
  • 00:24:39.140 --> 00:24:41.270
  • to a person struggling with
  • 00:24:41.270 --> 00:24:43.200
  • depression?"
  • 00:24:43.200 --> 00:24:45.200
  • He said, "I'd tell them this."
  • 00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:47.250
  • I guess they were expecting
  • 00:24:47.250 --> 00:24:48.260
  • some incredible clinical answer.
  • 00:24:49.010 --> 00:24:52.010
  • But his answer was,
  • 00:24:52.010 --> 00:24:54.120
  • "Get up off the lounge.
  • 00:24:54.120 --> 00:24:56.170
  • Get out of the house.
  • 00:24:56.170 --> 00:24:58.170
  • Cross the tracks.
  • 00:24:58.170 --> 00:25:00.210
  • Find somebody worse off than
  • 00:25:00.210 --> 00:25:01.230
  • you, and start to help them."
  • 00:25:02.280 --> 00:25:05.280
  • That's living your life
  • 00:25:05.280 --> 00:25:06.280
  • outwardly.
  • 00:25:08.130 --> 00:25:11.130
  • I was talking to Joyce Meyer
  • 00:25:11.130 --> 00:25:12.120
  • once.
  • 00:25:12.120 --> 00:25:13.200
  • Joyce Meyer, for anyone who's
  • 00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:14.210
  • never had the opportunity
  • 00:25:14.210 --> 00:25:15.270
  • to talk to her personally,
  • 00:25:15.270 --> 00:25:18.060
  • one on one,
  • 00:25:18.060 --> 00:25:19.010
  • she's exactly the same,
  • 00:25:19.010 --> 00:25:20.020
  • basically, one on one as she
  • 00:25:20.020 --> 00:25:21.210
  • is when she speaks to thousands.
  • 00:25:21.210 --> 00:25:24.150
  • Kinda scary in the most amazing,
  • 00:25:26.270 --> 00:25:29.270
  • beautiful way.
  • 00:25:29.270 --> 00:25:31.200
  • So I thought I was asking
  • 00:25:31.200 --> 00:25:32.130
  • her the best possible question.
  • 00:25:32.130 --> 00:25:34.040
  • I said, "Joyce, do you ever
  • 00:25:34.040 --> 00:25:36.170
  • get nervous when you speak
  • 00:25:36.170 --> 00:25:38.020
  • to big crowds?"
  • 00:25:38.020 --> 00:25:39.210
  • And she just looked at me like
  • 00:25:39.210 --> 00:25:40.220
  • it was the most stupid question
  • 00:25:40.220 --> 00:25:42.050
  • anyone has ever asked her,
  • 00:25:42.050 --> 00:25:44.050
  • and she said, "No, I don't think
  • 00:25:44.270 --> 00:25:47.270
  • about myself when I preach.
  • 00:25:47.270 --> 00:25:50.100
  • I just try to help people."
  • 00:25:50.100 --> 00:25:52.210
  • And I thought,
  • 00:25:52.210 --> 00:25:53.160
  • "What an amazing answer."
  • 00:25:53.160 --> 00:25:55.070
  • That's living your life
  • 00:25:55.070 --> 00:25:56.020
  • from the inside out.
  • 00:25:56.020 --> 00:25:57.030
  • "I don't think about myself
  • 00:25:57.030 --> 00:25:58.030
  • when I preach.
  • 00:25:58.030 --> 00:26:00.030
  • I just try to help people."
  • 00:26:00.030 --> 00:26:02.040
  • And I think for every one of us,
  • 00:26:02.040 --> 00:26:03.080
  • in life, and in marriages,
  • 00:26:03.080 --> 00:26:05.050
  • and in relationships,
  • 00:26:05.050 --> 00:26:06.030
  • and younger people who
  • 00:26:06.030 --> 00:26:07.040
  • are not yet married
  • 00:26:07.040 --> 00:26:08.120
  • but hope to be and plan to be,
  • 00:26:08.120 --> 00:26:11.050
  • if we build relationships
  • 00:26:11.050 --> 00:26:12.080
  • about ourselves,
  • 00:26:12.080 --> 00:26:13.180
  • there will be unhappiness
  • 00:26:13.180 --> 00:26:14.190
  • in that relationship.
  • 00:26:14.190 --> 00:26:16.040
  • If we live our lives outwardly,
  • 00:26:16.040 --> 00:26:17.190
  • we know how to live our lives
  • 00:26:17.190 --> 00:26:19.100
  • generously, then I believe
  • 00:26:19.100 --> 00:26:21.110
  • it will make all the difference.
  • 00:26:21.110 --> 00:26:23.180
  • And I think everyone
  • 00:26:23.180 --> 00:26:24.190
  • here's mature enough,
  • 00:26:24.190 --> 00:26:25.170
  • well, possibly not,
  • 00:26:25.170 --> 00:26:27.100
  • to know that just becoming
  • 00:26:27.100 --> 00:26:29.060
  • a Christian doesn't make
  • 00:26:29.060 --> 00:26:30.110
  • unhappiness go away.
  • 00:26:30.230 --> 00:26:33.230
  • We wish it could.
  • 00:26:33.230 --> 00:26:35.260
  • The Word of God can redeem
  • 00:26:35.260 --> 00:26:37.250
  • people.
  • 00:26:37.250 --> 00:26:38.210
  • And over a period of time,
  • 00:26:38.210 --> 00:26:39.200
  • I believe God's Word working
  • 00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:41.020
  • in people's lives gives you
  • 00:26:41.020 --> 00:26:42.030
  • a foundation so that the footing
  • 00:26:42.030 --> 00:26:43.280
  • and foundation for your life
  • 00:26:43.280 --> 00:26:45.040
  • is totally transformed.
  • 00:26:45.040 --> 00:26:46.270
  • And certainly, you're coming
  • 00:26:46.270 --> 00:26:47.270
  • from the right foundation to
  • 00:26:47.270 --> 00:26:49.140
  • build happiness into your life.
  • 00:26:49.140 --> 00:26:52.000
  • So there's no doubt
  • 00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:52.230
  • about the redeeming quality
  • 00:26:52.230 --> 00:26:53.270
  • and the power of God's Word,
  • 00:26:53.270 --> 00:26:55.150
  • and God can bring deliverance,
  • 00:26:55.150 --> 00:26:57.090
  • and that God can lift depression
  • 00:26:57.090 --> 00:26:59.180
  • off people, and lift unhappiness
  • 00:26:59.180 --> 00:27:01.260
  • off people.
  • 00:27:01.260 --> 00:27:02.270
  • But inside our relationships,
  • 00:27:02.270 --> 00:27:04.050
  • let's just learn to live
  • 00:27:04.050 --> 00:27:05.070
  • outwardly.
  • 00:27:05.070 --> 00:27:07.000
  • Not only would I tell him
  • 00:27:07.000 --> 00:27:07.290
  • to live his life outwardly, but
  • 00:27:07.290 --> 00:27:10.240
  • I'd tell him to live his life
  • 00:27:10.240 --> 00:27:12.120
  • worshipfully.
  • 00:27:12.120 --> 00:27:14.010
  • Let me confess somethin'
  • 00:27:14.010 --> 00:27:14.280
  • to you as a man.
  • 00:27:14.280 --> 00:27:16.180
  • Maybe I'm an Aussie bloke.
  • 00:27:16.180 --> 00:27:18.190
  • I know this is not right,
  • 00:27:18.190 --> 00:27:19.240
  • by the way.
  • 00:27:19.240 --> 00:27:21.050
  • It's just a confession time, so.
  • 00:27:21.050 --> 00:27:23.140
  • It always to me like praise,
  • 00:27:23.140 --> 00:27:25.160
  • that's a man's thing.
  • 00:27:25.160 --> 00:27:26.160
  • We praise God.
  • 00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:27.190
  • Ooh, we praise.
  • 00:27:27.190 --> 00:27:29.180
  • Whereas worship, it's
  • 00:27:29.180 --> 00:27:30.250
  • kind of a bit more feminine.
  • 00:27:30.250 --> 00:27:32.050
  • We worship.
  • 00:27:32.050 --> 00:27:33.010
  • And it's kinda, to me,
  • 00:27:33.270 --> 00:27:36.270
  • it's a little more feminine.
  • 00:27:36.270 --> 00:27:39.240
  • Having said that,
  • 00:27:39.240 --> 00:27:42.000
  • there is something about
  • 00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:43.020
  • a man who knows how to lead
  • 00:27:43.020 --> 00:27:45.170
  • his family as a worshiper,
  • 00:27:45.220 --> 00:27:48.220
  • who knows how to truly, again,
  • 00:27:48.220 --> 00:27:50.200
  • live from the inside out
  • 00:27:50.200 --> 00:27:53.160
  • by honoring God and putting
  • 00:27:53.160 --> 00:27:54.260
  • the glory where the glory needs
  • 00:27:54.260 --> 00:27:56.150
  • to be.
  • 00:27:56.150 --> 00:27:57.100
  • And even when we feel like hell,
  • 00:27:57.100 --> 00:27:58.230
  • knowing how to lift up holy
  • 00:27:58.230 --> 00:28:00.250
  • hands and worship God, even when
  • 00:28:00.250 --> 00:28:02.270
  • the fig tree's not blossoming,
  • 00:28:02.270 --> 00:28:04.150
  • and there is no fruit on the
  • 00:28:04.150 --> 00:28:06.160
  • vine, and the produce of the
  • 00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:08.170
  • olive fails, Psalm 89, verse 15:
  • 00:28:09.220 --> 00:28:12.220
  • "Happy are those who hear
  • 00:28:12.220 --> 00:28:14.280
  • the joyful call to worship.
  • 00:28:15.030 --> 00:28:18.030
  • For they will walk in the light
  • 00:28:18.030 --> 00:28:19.240
  • of your presence, Lord."
  • 00:28:19.240 --> 00:28:22.120
  • I would encourage you
  • 00:28:22.120 --> 00:28:23.170
  • to believe, if you are not
  • 00:28:23.170 --> 00:28:25.000
  • in a situation where have
  • 00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:26.100
  • the honor and the privilege
  • 00:28:26.100 --> 00:28:28.100
  • of standing beside your man
  • 00:28:28.100 --> 00:28:30.040
  • in God's house and together
  • 00:28:30.040 --> 00:28:32.040
  • worship God, and his hands
  • 00:28:32.040 --> 00:28:34.110
  • are up higher than almost anyone
  • 00:28:34.110 --> 00:28:35.190
  • else in the room as he honors
  • 00:28:35.190 --> 00:28:37.000
  • King Jesus, let's believe God
  • 00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:38.280
  • with you for that.
  • 00:28:38.280 --> 00:28:40.010
  • Let's pray for that.
  • 00:28:40.010 --> 00:28:41.050
  • Let's have an expectation that
  • 00:28:41.050 --> 00:28:43.110
  • that day is coming because there
  • 00:28:43.110 --> 00:28:44.260
  • is something about worship that
  • 00:28:44.260 --> 00:28:46.200
  • has a release on the inside.
  • 00:28:46.200 --> 00:28:48.210
  • It's getting the focus off
  • 00:28:48.210 --> 00:28:49.210
  • ourselves.
  • 00:28:49.210 --> 00:28:50.270
  • We talk about magnifying
  • 00:28:50.270 --> 00:28:51.280
  • the Lord.
  • 00:28:51.280 --> 00:28:52.220
  • The Bible teaches us to magnify
  • 00:28:52.220 --> 00:28:53.260
  • the Lord.
  • 00:28:53.260 --> 00:28:54.270
  • Magnifying him isn't just
  • 00:28:54.270 --> 00:28:56.180
  • about God being on an ego trip.
  • 00:28:56.180 --> 00:28:58.230
  • It's about God
  • 00:28:58.230 --> 00:28:59.210
  • becoming bigger in our world,
  • 00:28:59.210 --> 00:29:01.130
  • becoming bigger in our thinking,
  • 00:29:01.130 --> 00:29:02.290
  • becoming bigger in our souls
  • 00:29:02.290 --> 00:29:04.050
  • and our hearts.
  • 00:29:04.050 --> 00:29:05.100
  • And as he is magnified,
  • 00:29:05.100 --> 00:29:06.200
  • he is enlarged, then the things
  • 00:29:06.200 --> 00:29:08.160
  • of this earth grow strangely dim
  • 00:29:08.160 --> 00:29:10.230
  • in the light of his glory
  • 00:29:10.230 --> 00:29:12.000
  • and grace.
  • 00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:12.240
  • And suddenly,
  • 00:29:12.240 --> 00:29:13.190
  • the things that seemed
  • 00:29:13.190 --> 00:29:14.120
  • to matter don't matter anymore.
  • 00:29:14.120 --> 00:29:15.250
  • So I'm believing with you that
  • 00:29:15.250 --> 00:29:17.160
  • that day will come when your man
  • 00:29:17.160 --> 00:29:19.150
  • knows how to lead your family
  • 00:29:19.150 --> 00:29:21.080
  • as a worshiper of King Jesus.
  • 00:29:21.080 --> 00:29:23.270
  • And not only, not only because
  • 00:29:23.270 --> 00:29:25.250
  • of the power that there is in it
  • 00:29:25.250 --> 00:29:27.200
  • for other people and for you,
  • 00:29:27.200 --> 00:29:29.090
  • but for the power that it has
  • 00:29:29.090 --> 00:29:30.120
  • - Brian: Roots of bitterness
  • 00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:37.290
  • often start because we never
  • 00:29:37.290 --> 00:29:40.140
  • learned the power of pursuing
  • 00:29:40.140 --> 00:29:41.260
  • peace, and the power of keeping
  • 00:29:41.260 --> 00:29:44.050
  • tension out of our home.
  • 00:29:44.070 --> 00:29:47.070
  • I don't want to be overdramatic,
  • 00:29:47.070 --> 00:29:48.260
  • but children's eternity can
  • 00:29:48.260 --> 00:29:51.010
  • depend on keeping bitterness out
  • 00:29:51.010 --> 00:29:53.200
  • of the fundamentals in your
  • 00:29:53.200 --> 00:29:55.040
  • marriage, in your relationship,
  • 00:29:55.040 --> 00:29:56.260
  • in your home.
  • 00:30:00.230 --> 00:30:03.230
  • - Bobbie: That we, as women,
  • 00:30:03.230 --> 00:30:05.140
  • can live with greater insight
  • 00:30:05.140 --> 00:30:08.100
  • into the hearts and the lives
  • 00:30:08.100 --> 00:30:10.070
  • of the men who are in our world.
  • 00:30:10.070 --> 00:30:13.010
  • - Brian: 'Cause I think a lot
  • 00:30:13.010 --> 00:30:14.000
  • of men, because of some of those
  • 00:30:14.000 --> 00:30:15.030
  • pressures I've mentioned,
  • 00:30:15.030 --> 00:30:16.030
  • they live from the outside in.
  • 00:30:16.030 --> 00:30:17.200
  • In other words, what comes from
  • 00:30:17.200 --> 00:30:18.240
  • the outside, it starts affecting
  • 00:30:18.240 --> 00:30:20.140
  • them on the inside.
  • 00:30:20.140 --> 00:30:22.030
  • We can mask it to a level
  • 00:30:22.030 --> 00:30:23.080
  • at some point, but everything
  • 00:30:23.080 --> 00:30:24.220
  • suffered during that time.
  • 00:30:24.220 --> 00:30:26.130
  • So the advice I give men
  • 00:30:26.130 --> 00:30:28.090
  • is number one, live outwardly.
  • 00:30:28.150 --> 00:30:31.150
  • Not only would I tell him
  • 00:30:31.150 --> 00:30:32.080
  • to live his life outwardly, but
  • 00:30:32.080 --> 00:30:34.150
  • I'd tell him to live his life
  • 00:30:34.150 --> 00:30:35.270
  • - Brian: Live outwardly.
  • 00:30:41.280 --> 00:30:42.290
  • Live worshipfully.
  • 00:30:42.290 --> 00:30:44.050
  • Live peaceably.
  • 00:30:44.050 --> 00:30:46.120
  • Some people are always
  • 00:30:46.120 --> 00:30:47.090
  • in a fight.
  • 00:30:47.090 --> 00:30:49.050
  • And if it's not on level,
  • 00:30:49.050 --> 00:30:50.140
  • it's on another level.
  • 00:30:50.140 --> 00:30:52.160
  • Sometimes people are fighting
  • 00:30:52.160 --> 00:30:53.200
  • their neighbors about the most
  • 00:30:53.200 --> 00:30:56.190
  • obscure things, the fence.
  • 00:30:56.190 --> 00:30:59.020
  • And maybe we all understand
  • 00:30:59.020 --> 00:31:01.060
  • it's your neighbor's fault.
  • 00:31:01.060 --> 00:31:02.140
  • It's not your fault.
  • 00:31:02.140 --> 00:31:04.040
  • It's not my fault if my neighbor
  • 00:31:04.040 --> 00:31:05.070
  • doesn't like my trees.
  • 00:31:05.070 --> 00:31:07.120
  • They're my trees.
  • 00:31:07.120 --> 00:31:08.100
  • They're on my property.
  • 00:31:08.100 --> 00:31:09.040
  • I mean, is that my fault?
  • 00:31:10.250 --> 00:31:13.250
  • I just prayed, and they moved.
  • 00:31:13.250 --> 00:31:15.090
  • It was awesome.
  • 00:31:15.090 --> 00:31:16.210
  • [laughing]
  • 00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:21.240
  • Just havin' some fun.
  • 00:31:21.250 --> 00:31:24.250
  • I don't wanna spend my life
  • 00:31:24.250 --> 00:31:26.030
  • fighting the neighbors,
  • 00:31:26.030 --> 00:31:28.000
  • fighting my partners at work.
  • 00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:30.240
  • Do you know something?
  • 00:31:30.240 --> 00:31:33.040
  • Too many homes are just filled
  • 00:31:33.040 --> 00:31:35.040
  • with tension.
  • 00:31:35.040 --> 00:31:36.230
  • As partners, and we want
  • 00:31:36.230 --> 00:31:37.220
  • the best for our marriage.
  • 00:31:37.220 --> 00:31:38.240
  • We want the best
  • 00:31:38.240 --> 00:31:39.180
  • for our children.
  • 00:31:39.180 --> 00:31:40.110
  • Children feel that tension
  • 00:31:40.110 --> 00:31:41.090
  • the home more than, perhaps, we
  • 00:31:41.090 --> 00:31:43.010
  • ever know and we ever realize.
  • 00:31:43.010 --> 00:31:45.280
  • And when, again,
  • 00:31:45.280 --> 00:31:46.200
  • we bring it back to ourselves,
  • 00:31:46.200 --> 00:31:48.000
  • and there's always fighting
  • 00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:49.020
  • and tension in our homes,
  • 00:31:49.020 --> 00:31:51.080
  • there's gonna be fundamental
  • 00:31:51.080 --> 00:31:52.050
  • unhappiness in the home.
  • 00:31:52.050 --> 00:31:54.120
  • And let us, God,
  • 00:31:54.120 --> 00:31:55.120
  • have the grace to live our lives
  • 00:31:55.120 --> 00:31:57.010
  • where it's not about me.
  • 00:31:57.140 --> 00:32:00.160
  • It's not about me.
  • 00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:02.090
  • And it's incredible how the
  • 00:32:02.090 --> 00:32:04.020
  • things that you so desperately
  • 00:32:04.020 --> 00:32:05.080
  • need filling in your own soul,
  • 00:32:05.160 --> 00:32:08.160
  • you start seeing those things,
  • 00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:10.230
  • that fulfillment,
  • 00:32:10.230 --> 00:32:11.260
  • come when you learn
  • 00:32:11.260 --> 00:32:14.050
  • how to live in a releasing way.
  • 00:32:14.050 --> 00:32:17.050
  • Bobbie and I have been able
  • 00:32:17.050 --> 00:32:18.170
  • to do what we do in
  • 00:32:18.170 --> 00:32:19.130
  • life, number one, because our
  • 00:32:19.130 --> 00:32:20.150
  • children have always been so
  • 00:32:20.150 --> 00:32:21.280
  • releasing, and number two,
  • 00:32:21.280 --> 00:32:23.010
  • our church has also been
  • 00:32:23.010 --> 00:32:24.180
  • so releasing.
  • 00:32:24.180 --> 00:32:25.160
  • The people of our church
  • 00:32:25.160 --> 00:32:26.160
  • are so generous when it comes
  • 00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:28.140
  • to time with their pastors
  • 00:32:28.140 --> 00:32:29.220
  • and their leaders.
  • 00:32:29.220 --> 00:32:31.080
  • And it's one of the significant
  • 00:32:31.080 --> 00:32:32.100
  • reasons why Hillsong Church
  • 00:32:32.100 --> 00:32:33.190
  • has always been blessed.
  • 00:32:33.190 --> 00:32:35.190
  • It's not because of our worship,
  • 00:32:35.190 --> 00:32:37.110
  • necessarily, or our preaching
  • 00:32:37.110 --> 00:32:39.000
  • and teaching.
  • 00:32:39.000 --> 00:32:40.140
  • It's about the generosity
  • 00:32:40.140 --> 00:32:42.110
  • of the people in the pews
  • 00:32:42.110 --> 00:32:44.070
  • who are so outward in their
  • 00:32:44.070 --> 00:32:46.040
  • approach to the way we are able
  • 00:32:46.060 --> 00:32:49.060
  • to pastor and lead a church,
  • 00:32:49.060 --> 00:32:51.110
  • knowing the greater calling
  • 00:32:51.110 --> 00:32:52.210
  • that's on our house.
  • 00:32:52.220 --> 00:32:55.220
  • Let's live our lives peaceably.
  • 00:32:55.220 --> 00:32:58.190
  • 1 Peter 3, verse 10 and 11:
  • 00:32:58.190 --> 00:33:00.170
  • "For the Scripture says,
  • 00:33:00.170 --> 00:33:01.150
  • 'If you want to enjoy life
  • 00:33:01.150 --> 00:33:02.140
  • and see many happy days,
  • 00:33:02.140 --> 00:33:04.160
  • keep your tongue from speaking
  • 00:33:04.160 --> 00:33:05.180
  • evil and your lips
  • 00:33:05.180 --> 00:33:06.210
  • from telling lies.
  • 00:33:06.210 --> 00:33:08.180
  • Turn away from evil and do good.
  • 00:33:08.180 --> 00:33:10.130
  • Search for peace,
  • 00:33:10.130 --> 00:33:13.060
  • and work to maintain it.'"
  • 00:33:13.060 --> 00:33:15.200
  • So to me, in life,
  • 00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:16.250
  • and in leadership,
  • 00:33:16.250 --> 00:33:17.250
  • but in particular, in our home,
  • 00:33:17.250 --> 00:33:19.230
  • seek the peace.
  • 00:33:19.230 --> 00:33:21.010
  • The way it's put
  • 00:33:21.010 --> 00:33:21.260
  • in Hebrews chapter 12,
  • 00:33:21.260 --> 00:33:24.130
  • verse 14, verse 15:
  • 00:33:24.130 --> 00:33:26.130
  • "Pursue peace with all people,
  • 00:33:26.130 --> 00:33:28.280
  • and holiness,
  • 00:33:28.280 --> 00:33:30.150
  • without which no one will see
  • 00:33:30.150 --> 00:33:32.160
  • the Lord: looking carefully
  • 00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:33.280
  • lest anyone fall short
  • 00:33:33.280 --> 00:33:36.200
  • of the grace of God;
  • 00:33:36.200 --> 00:33:38.180
  • lest any root of bitterness
  • 00:33:38.180 --> 00:33:39.290
  • springing up cause trouble, and
  • 00:33:39.290 --> 00:33:42.110
  • by this many become defiled."
  • 00:33:42.110 --> 00:33:45.090
  • Roots of bitterness often start
  • 00:33:45.090 --> 00:33:48.010
  • because we never learned
  • 00:33:48.010 --> 00:33:49.260
  • the power of pursuing peace,
  • 00:33:49.260 --> 00:33:52.110
  • and the power of keeping tension
  • 00:33:52.110 --> 00:33:54.090
  • out of our home.
  • 00:33:54.090 --> 00:33:56.120
  • I'm never, ever judgmental
  • 00:33:56.120 --> 00:33:58.010
  • of anyone else when it comes
  • 00:33:58.010 --> 00:33:59.120
  • to whether or not their children
  • 00:33:59.120 --> 00:34:01.100
  • grow up serving God,
  • 00:34:01.100 --> 00:34:02.220
  • or whether they go
  • 00:34:02.220 --> 00:34:04.040
  • their own way, because,
  • 00:34:04.040 --> 00:34:05.230
  • I mean, I grew up in the same
  • 00:34:05.230 --> 00:34:07.020
  • bedroom as my brother.
  • 00:34:07.020 --> 00:34:08.200
  • And when we were 14, we
  • 00:34:08.200 --> 00:34:09.230
  • made different choices in life.
  • 00:34:09.230 --> 00:34:12.080
  • And I don't think there's
  • 00:34:12.080 --> 00:34:13.100
  • anything different at all about
  • 00:34:13.100 --> 00:34:15.020
  • the way my parents parented
  • 00:34:15.020 --> 00:34:17.010
  • either of us.
  • 00:34:17.010 --> 00:34:19.120
  • So I never, ever judge anyone,
  • 00:34:19.120 --> 00:34:21.150
  • but I do know this.
  • 00:34:21.150 --> 00:34:23.160
  • I do know that if we live our
  • 00:34:23.160 --> 00:34:25.070
  • lives where just, even church
  • 00:34:25.240 --> 00:34:28.240
  • life, for those that are heavily
  • 00:34:28.240 --> 00:34:30.210
  • involved in church, and some of
  • 00:34:30.210 --> 00:34:32.200
  • the politicking that goes with
  • 00:34:32.200 --> 00:34:34.020
  • that, and some of the fights
  • 00:34:34.020 --> 00:34:35.050
  • that can be happening
  • 00:34:35.050 --> 00:34:36.170
  • behind closed doors,
  • 00:34:36.170 --> 00:34:37.190
  • or some of the stuff,
  • 00:34:37.190 --> 00:34:38.120
  • if you let that infiltrate
  • 00:34:38.120 --> 00:34:39.130
  • your home, then those who
  • 00:34:39.260 --> 00:34:42.260
  • love you more than you ever,
  • 00:34:42.260 --> 00:34:44.080
  • you never wanna build
  • 00:34:44.080 --> 00:34:44.290
  • a scenario, ever,
  • 00:34:44.290 --> 00:34:46.280
  • where you talk about church time
  • 00:34:46.280 --> 00:34:49.060
  • and family time,
  • 00:34:49.060 --> 00:34:51.100
  • and make the two almost enemies.
  • 00:34:51.100 --> 00:34:53.250
  • Love God's house.
  • 00:34:53.250 --> 00:34:54.280
  • Love the people in your world.
  • 00:34:54.280 --> 00:34:56.160
  • Just keep loving them.
  • 00:34:56.160 --> 00:34:58.080
  • But whatever you do, avoid
  • 00:34:58.080 --> 00:34:59.150
  • allowing a root of bitterness by
  • 00:34:59.150 --> 00:35:02.070
  • not pursuing peace to come into
  • 00:35:02.070 --> 00:35:04.160
  • your family and into your home.
  • 00:35:04.230 --> 00:35:07.230
  • Because children's eternity
  • 00:35:07.230 --> 00:35:10.180
  • can depend on it.
  • 00:35:10.180 --> 00:35:12.100
  • I don't want to be overdramatic,
  • 00:35:12.100 --> 00:35:13.110
  • but children's eternity can
  • 00:35:13.110 --> 00:35:16.070
  • depend on keeping bitterness out
  • 00:35:16.070 --> 00:35:18.220
  • of the fundamentals in your
  • 00:35:18.220 --> 00:35:20.080
  • marriage, in your relationship,
  • 00:35:20.080 --> 00:35:21.230
  • in your home.
  • 00:35:21.230 --> 00:35:22.220
  • And your relationship
  • 00:35:22.220 --> 00:35:23.200
  • with pastors, and churches, and
  • 00:35:23.200 --> 00:35:25.100
  • churches that you used to be
  • 00:35:25.100 --> 00:35:26.190
  • a part of, or anything else,
  • 00:35:26.190 --> 00:35:28.200
  • an offense or hurt, gets inside,
  • 00:35:28.200 --> 00:35:31.010
  • that root of bitterness,
  • 00:35:31.010 --> 00:35:32.110
  • the Bible tells us
  • 00:35:32.110 --> 00:35:33.080
  • it's going to happen.
  • 00:35:33.080 --> 00:35:34.110
  • Like any root, it can take some
  • 00:35:34.110 --> 00:35:35.110
  • time, but when it springs up,
  • 00:35:35.110 --> 00:35:36.190
  • it will cause trouble
  • 00:35:36.190 --> 00:35:37.250
  • and it will trouble to marriages
  • 00:35:37.250 --> 00:35:39.070
  • and trouble to home.
  • 00:35:39.070 --> 00:35:40.240
  • And many people, they,
  • 00:35:40.240 --> 00:35:42.010
  • out of a root of bitterness,
  • 00:35:42.010 --> 00:35:43.140
  • have made decisions they thought
  • 00:35:43.140 --> 00:35:44.250
  • was gonna hurt a pastor,
  • 00:35:44.250 --> 00:35:46.080
  • or hurt somebody who hurt them,
  • 00:35:46.080 --> 00:35:47.270
  • but it ends up hurting their own
  • 00:35:47.270 --> 00:35:49.260
  • life, and their own family.
  • 00:35:49.260 --> 00:35:51.080
  • And ultimately, it ends up
  • 00:35:51.080 --> 00:35:52.100
  • hurting their own children, and
  • 00:35:52.100 --> 00:35:54.020
  • sometimes their own marriage,
  • 00:35:54.020 --> 00:35:56.080
  • because that thing
  • 00:35:56.080 --> 00:35:57.180
  • became a root which bore fruit.
  • 00:35:58.010 --> 00:36:01.030
  • I'd love everyone to stand right
  • 00:36:01.030 --> 00:36:02.130
  • now for one moment.
  • 00:36:02.130 --> 00:36:04.010
  • I do pray for happiness
  • 00:36:04.010 --> 00:36:05.090
  • in your own soul.
  • 00:36:05.090 --> 00:36:06.170
  • So, Lord, I just pray for every
  • 00:36:06.170 --> 00:36:08.030
  • one of these women.
  • 00:36:08.030 --> 00:36:09.110
  • I don't know anything about the
  • 00:36:09.110 --> 00:36:10.250
  • huge majority of them's family,
  • 00:36:10.250 --> 00:36:13.200
  • relational world, their homes,
  • 00:36:13.200 --> 00:36:15.220
  • perhaps past divorce,
  • 00:36:15.220 --> 00:36:17.180
  • and living now on their own.
  • 00:36:17.180 --> 00:36:18.270
  • Or perhaps, Lord,
  • 00:36:18.270 --> 00:36:20.030
  • a marriage that's in huge
  • 00:36:20.030 --> 00:36:21.130
  • trouble right now.
  • 00:36:21.130 --> 00:36:22.160
  • Perhaps they live with
  • 00:36:22.160 --> 00:36:23.110
  • a very happy, fulfilled man.
  • 00:36:23.110 --> 00:36:26.100
  • Lord, wherever they're
  • 00:36:26.100 --> 00:36:27.100
  • at, I just pray
  • 00:36:27.100 --> 00:36:28.090
  • that you'll give them grace.
  • 00:36:28.090 --> 00:36:30.000
  • I pray that you'll give them
  • 00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:30.270
  • strength.
  • 00:36:30.270 --> 00:36:32.060
  • I pray you'll give them little
  • 00:36:32.060 --> 00:36:33.080
  • keys to unlock the happiness
  • 00:36:33.080 --> 00:36:34.240
  • in the people around
  • 00:36:34.240 --> 00:36:36.270
  • and about them.
  • 00:36:36.270 --> 00:36:38.180
  • Lord, I pray that each and every
  • 00:36:38.180 --> 00:36:40.140
  • one of us can live our lives
  • 00:36:40.140 --> 00:36:42.010
  • from the inside out, Lord,
  • 00:36:42.140 --> 00:36:45.140
  • rather than allowing
  • 00:36:45.140 --> 00:36:46.190
  • the outside, people's attitudes,
  • 00:36:46.190 --> 00:36:47.250
  • and people's thinking,
  • 00:36:47.250 --> 00:36:49.060
  • and people's meanness
  • 00:36:49.060 --> 00:36:50.040
  • to frame our inside.
  • 00:36:50.040 --> 00:36:52.040
  • Lord, I just ask right now
  • 00:36:52.040 --> 00:36:53.050
  • for happiness to settle
  • 00:36:53.050 --> 00:36:54.180
  • into marriages.
  • 00:36:54.180 --> 00:36:55.260
  • I pray there will be miracles
  • 00:36:55.260 --> 00:36:57.050
  • and testimonies
  • 00:36:57.050 --> 00:36:58.030
  • in relationships.
  • 00:36:58.030 --> 00:36:59.120
  • I pray for the miracle inside
  • 00:36:59.120 --> 00:37:00.220
  • the hearts and souls of men,
  • 00:37:00.220 --> 00:37:02.240
  • that you will bring them
  • 00:37:02.240 --> 00:37:03.220
  • to a point of great happiness,
  • 00:37:03.220 --> 00:37:05.210
  • Father, where they truly can
  • 00:37:05.210 --> 00:37:07.080
  • worship you in spirit and truth,
  • 00:37:07.080 --> 00:37:08.220
  • where they do know how to live
  • 00:37:08.220 --> 00:37:10.110
  • their lives peaceably,
  • 00:37:10.110 --> 00:37:12.000
  • where they do become men of God
  • 00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:13.070
  • and men of prayer.
  • 00:37:13.070 --> 00:37:14.290
  • Father, help us to support
  • 00:37:14.290 --> 00:37:16.130
  • the men in our world, I pray.
  • 00:37:16.130 --> 00:37:18.200
  • And as a fruit of that, I pray,
  • 00:37:18.200 --> 00:37:20.130
  • Father, that every woman here,
  • 00:37:20.130 --> 00:37:22.030
  • that they will see you
  • 00:37:22.030 --> 00:37:23.090
  • fulfilling their own inner need,
  • 00:37:23.090 --> 00:37:24.290
  • and their own inner emptiness
  • 00:37:24.290 --> 00:37:26.200
  • and void.
  • 00:37:26.200 --> 00:37:27.220
  • Lord, I thank you
  • 00:37:27.220 --> 00:37:28.180
  • you're a Healer.
  • 00:37:28.180 --> 00:37:29.150
  • You're not a destroyer.
  • 00:37:29.150 --> 00:37:31.000
  • Lord, I thank you that you
  • 00:37:31.000 --> 00:37:32.090
  • save the world.
  • 00:37:32.090 --> 00:37:33.150
  • You didn't come to condemn
  • 00:37:33.150 --> 00:37:34.220
  • the world.
  • 00:37:34.220 --> 00:37:35.140
  • If you wanted to condemn
  • 00:37:35.140 --> 00:37:36.090
  • the world, you would've sent
  • 00:37:36.090 --> 00:37:37.130
  • a condemner.
  • 00:37:37.130 --> 00:37:38.110
  • But you didn't you wanted
  • 00:37:38.110 --> 00:37:39.070
  • to save the world so that, Lord,
  • 00:37:39.070 --> 00:37:41.210
  • you sent a Savior.
  • 00:37:41.210 --> 00:37:42.260
  • But, Lord, I pray that only,
  • 00:37:42.260 --> 00:37:44.050
  • not only our souls,
  • 00:37:44.050 --> 00:37:45.100
  • but our marriages,
  • 00:37:45.100 --> 00:37:46.110
  • and our relationships,
  • 00:37:46.110 --> 00:37:47.120
  • and our homes,
  • 00:37:47.120 --> 00:37:48.140
  • I pray for the power
  • 00:37:48.140 --> 00:37:49.170
  • of the Savior, Lord,
  • 00:37:49.170 --> 00:37:50.240
  • to save disasters,
  • 00:37:50.240 --> 00:37:52.210
  • to save things that
  • 00:37:52.210 --> 00:37:54.080
  • will bring division and strife,
  • 00:37:54.080 --> 00:37:56.050
  • and to bring the promise
  • 00:37:56.050 --> 00:37:57.260
  • and the power of God.
  • 00:37:57.260 --> 00:37:59.070
  • We give you the praise.
  • 00:37:59.070 --> 00:38:00.090
  • We give you the glory.
  • 00:38:00.090 --> 00:38:01.040
  • We thank you for it,
  • 00:38:01.040 --> 00:38:02.070
  • - Bobbie: I'm gonna invite,
  • 00:38:07.250 --> 00:38:08.220
  • Brian is gonna come back up
  • 00:38:08.220 --> 00:38:10.030
  • here with some of the brothers,
  • 00:38:10.030 --> 00:38:12.020
  • some of the men and sons in the
  • 00:38:12.020 --> 00:38:13.170
  • house, and he's gonna lead us
  • 00:38:13.170 --> 00:38:16.060
  • in a conversation.
  • 00:38:16.060 --> 00:38:18.040
  • - Brian: For me to be doing
  • 00:38:18.040 --> 00:38:19.090
  • what I do because of the
  • 00:38:19.090 --> 00:38:21.030
  • encouragement of Bobbie.
  • 00:38:21.030 --> 00:38:23.120
  • - Carl Lentz: Guys are tryin'.
  • 00:38:23.120 --> 00:38:24.090
  • I think sometimes guys
  • 00:38:24.090 --> 00:38:25.130
  • are the hardest on themselves.
  • 00:38:25.130 --> 00:38:26.290
  • - Ben Houston: And we're good
  • 00:38:26.290 --> 00:38:28.030
  • at acting like we're,
  • 00:38:28.030 --> 00:38:29.110
  • we are those superheroes.
  • 00:38:29.110 --> 00:38:31.020
  • And then you married a man, and
  • 00:38:31.020 --> 00:38:32.060
  • then we become that lazy slob.
  • 00:38:32.060 --> 00:38:34.080
  • You can lose, kinda, belief.
  • 00:38:39.210 --> 00:38:42.210
  • - Bobbie: Proverbs 31 says:
  • 00:38:42.210 --> 00:38:44.040
  • "A capable, intelligent,
  • 00:38:44.040 --> 00:38:45.130
  • and virtuous woman,
  • 00:38:45.130 --> 00:38:47.000
  • who is he who can find her?"
  • 00:38:47.260 --> 00:38:50.260
  • So you know what?
  • 00:38:50.260 --> 00:38:52.000
  • I honor this one here
  • 00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:54.010
  • because he's one of those hes.
  • 00:38:54.010 --> 00:38:56.100
  • He has found me.
  • 00:38:56.100 --> 00:38:58.280
  • He has found, he has found us.
  • 00:39:00.290 --> 00:39:03.290
  • You know, he's the kind of man
  • 00:39:03.290 --> 00:39:05.030
  • and leader, and apostolic,
  • 00:39:05.030 --> 00:39:07.080
  • actually, voice, who has made
  • 00:39:07.080 --> 00:39:09.170
  • a way.
  • 00:39:09.170 --> 00:39:10.150
  • I love that.
  • 00:39:10.150 --> 00:39:11.090
  • "Who is he who can find her?"
  • 00:39:11.090 --> 00:39:12.240
  • But we can't happen on our own.
  • 00:39:12.240 --> 00:39:15.130
  • We're in partnership together,
  • 00:39:15.130 --> 00:39:16.190
  • right?
  • 00:39:16.190 --> 00:39:18.080
  • I wanna flick the verse,
  • 00:39:18.080 --> 00:39:19.240
  • and I wanna suggest today,
  • 00:39:19.240 --> 00:39:21.160
  • "A capable, intelligent,
  • 00:39:21.160 --> 00:39:22.190
  • and virtuous man,
  • 00:39:22.190 --> 00:39:24.180
  • who is she who can find him?"
  • 00:39:24.190 --> 00:39:27.190
  • All right?
  • 00:39:27.190 --> 00:39:29.220
  • And we all have men
  • 00:39:29.220 --> 00:39:30.190
  • in our lives, different ways,
  • 00:39:30.200 --> 00:39:33.200
  • and so I think it's inherent,
  • 00:39:33.200 --> 00:39:34.250
  • I think the Father would love
  • 00:39:34.250 --> 00:39:36.060
  • us to be insightful,
  • 00:39:36.060 --> 00:39:37.160
  • and to approach it
  • 00:39:37.160 --> 00:39:39.130
  • with different eyes, amen?
  • 00:39:39.130 --> 00:39:41.040
  • Beautiful.
  • 00:39:41.040 --> 00:39:42.110
  • - Brian: All right, well,
  • 00:39:45.220 --> 00:39:46.190
  • so we do have a great, fine,
  • 00:39:46.190 --> 00:39:47.200
  • bunch of men,
  • 00:39:47.200 --> 00:39:48.200
  • all different age groups,
  • 00:39:48.200 --> 00:39:51.020
  • all within some form
  • 00:39:51.020 --> 00:39:52.050
  • of leadership here.
  • 00:39:52.050 --> 00:39:53.110
  • In fact, all pastors, leading
  • 00:39:53.110 --> 00:39:56.010
  • and pastoring somewhere in life.
  • 00:39:56.010 --> 00:39:59.000
  • I think if I was to be very
  • 00:39:59.000 --> 00:40:00.060
  • quick, most know
  • 00:40:00.060 --> 00:40:01.020
  • Robert Fergusson.
  • 00:40:01.020 --> 00:40:02.020
  • He's the teaching pastor in
  • 00:40:02.020 --> 00:40:03.020
  • our church along with his wife,
  • 00:40:03.020 --> 00:40:05.150
  • Amanda.
  • 00:40:05.150 --> 00:40:07.190
  • Teaching means not only is he
  • 00:40:07.190 --> 00:40:08.240
  • a brilliant teacher, but he also
  • 00:40:08.240 --> 00:40:10.140
  • really helps the younger pastors
  • 00:40:10.140 --> 00:40:12.040
  • in our team and staff in terms
  • 00:40:12.140 --> 00:40:15.140
  • of their communication
  • 00:40:15.140 --> 00:40:16.220
  • and their teaching,
  • 00:40:16.220 --> 00:40:17.180
  • and gives them incredible keys
  • 00:40:17.180 --> 00:40:19.280
  • to being even better
  • 00:40:19.280 --> 00:40:21.030
  • at what they do.
  • 00:40:21.030 --> 00:40:22.070
  • That's only a part of what
  • 00:40:22.070 --> 00:40:23.110
  • Robert does.
  • 00:40:23.110 --> 00:40:24.070
  • He also just basically walks
  • 00:40:24.070 --> 00:40:25.060
  • around the place being
  • 00:40:25.060 --> 00:40:26.070
  • a good guy.
  • 00:40:26.070 --> 00:40:28.160
  • Very loved in our church.
  • 00:40:28.160 --> 00:40:31.000
  • Very respected, highly honored,
  • 00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:32.200
  • highly loved in our church.
  • 00:40:35.250 --> 00:40:38.250
  • And then, of course,
  • 00:40:38.250 --> 00:40:39.160
  • Joel A'Bell.
  • 00:40:39.160 --> 00:40:40.160
  • Joel is my right hand.
  • 00:40:40.160 --> 00:40:42.100
  • He is lead pastor
  • 00:40:42.100 --> 00:40:43.130
  • of Hillsong in Australia,
  • 00:40:43.130 --> 00:40:45.050
  • and as such, carries so much.
  • 00:40:45.050 --> 00:40:47.100
  • He's the person I was talking
  • 00:40:47.100 --> 00:40:48.190
  • about who really carries so much
  • 00:40:48.190 --> 00:40:50.030
  • of what I used to have to do.
  • 00:40:50.030 --> 00:40:52.000
  • And one day, not so long ago,
  • 00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:53.060
  • I turned to Bobbie,
  • 00:40:53.060 --> 00:40:54.070
  • driving to church
  • 00:40:54.070 --> 00:40:55.090
  • on a Sunday night and said,
  • 00:40:55.090 --> 00:40:56.130
  • "Look at all that Joel
  • 00:40:56.130 --> 00:40:57.150
  • and Julia do, and all that
  • 00:40:57.150 --> 00:40:58.170
  • we're still doing."
  • 00:40:58.170 --> 00:41:00.230
  • And the fact that even,
  • 00:41:00.230 --> 00:41:01.200
  • in those days, I used to lead
  • 00:41:01.200 --> 00:41:02.220
  • our denomination as well.
  • 00:41:02.220 --> 00:41:03.280
  • I said, "I just don't know how
  • 00:41:03.280 --> 00:41:05.230
  • we were doing all that stuff."
  • 00:41:05.230 --> 00:41:07.230
  • Well, I guess tonight, this
  • 00:41:07.230 --> 00:41:09.150
  • afternoon, people found out,
  • 00:41:09.150 --> 00:41:10.240
  • not very well.
  • 00:41:12.260 --> 00:41:15.260
  • Gary Clarke, my best friend,
  • 00:41:16.070 --> 00:41:19.070
  • second best friend.
  • 00:41:19.070 --> 00:41:20.080
  • This is my best friend.
  • 00:41:20.080 --> 00:41:21.050
  • That's my second best friend.
  • 00:41:22.090 --> 00:41:25.090
  • Has lived with me through
  • 00:41:25.090 --> 00:41:26.140
  • some of the emotional things
  • 00:41:26.140 --> 00:41:28.070
  • I talked about today.
  • 00:41:28.070 --> 00:41:29.140
  • And also, is like a rock,
  • 00:41:29.140 --> 00:41:30.160
  • helping me.
  • 00:41:30.160 --> 00:41:31.270
  • But he's an incredible
  • 00:41:31.270 --> 00:41:32.170
  • lead pastor.
  • 00:41:32.170 --> 00:41:33.230
  • He and his wife, Cathy, are,
  • 00:41:33.230 --> 00:41:35.280
  • in our lives they're like gold.
  • 00:41:35.280 --> 00:41:38.010
  • We're so grateful to them.
  • 00:41:38.010 --> 00:41:39.010
  • He's a wise man.
  • 00:41:39.010 --> 00:41:40.250
  • Ben Houston, Lead Pastor
  • 00:41:40.250 --> 00:41:43.110
  • Hillsong Los Angeles,
  • 00:41:47.100 --> 00:41:50.100
  • got his father's good looks,
  • 00:41:50.270 --> 00:41:53.270
  • though he does look strangely
  • 00:41:53.270 --> 00:41:54.280
  • like his mum, I think,
  • 00:41:54.280 --> 00:41:56.190
  • with that Polynesian skin.
  • 00:41:56.190 --> 00:41:58.180
  • No, he's a great guy.
  • 00:41:58.180 --> 00:41:59.280
  • And he's a man of God.
  • 00:41:59.280 --> 00:42:00.290
  • He's always had a soft heart.
  • 00:42:00.290 --> 00:42:02.090
  • He's always been a people lover,
  • 00:42:02.210 --> 00:42:05.210
  • even as a high school boy.
  • 00:42:05.210 --> 00:42:06.210
  • Even when he wasn't
  • 00:42:06.210 --> 00:42:07.160
  • doin' so well himself with his
  • 00:42:07.160 --> 00:42:08.290
  • relationship with God he cared
  • 00:42:08.290 --> 00:42:10.090
  • about the eternity of his
  • 00:42:10.090 --> 00:42:11.280
  • friends, always had a passion
  • 00:42:11.280 --> 00:42:14.060
  • to see people saved.
  • 00:42:14.060 --> 00:42:15.100
  • And now we're seein'
  • 00:42:15.100 --> 00:42:16.060
  • the fruit of that in LA.
  • 00:42:16.060 --> 00:42:17.040
  • Carl Lentz.
  • 00:42:20.050 --> 00:42:23.050
  • My prayer life has increased
  • 00:42:23.050 --> 00:42:24.110
  • greatly because of Carl.
  • 00:42:24.220 --> 00:42:27.220
  • What God's put on his life,
  • 00:42:27.220 --> 00:42:28.290
  • the way God has graced him to,
  • 00:42:29.020 --> 00:42:32.020
  • basically, whether it is the
  • 00:42:32.020 --> 00:42:34.250
  • famous or the faceless,
  • 00:42:34.250 --> 00:42:36.290
  • to be able to connect
  • 00:42:36.290 --> 00:42:37.280
  • with people in a way where
  • 00:42:37.280 --> 00:42:39.130
  • they respond to him,
  • 00:42:39.130 --> 00:42:40.250
  • it's not natural.
  • 00:42:40.250 --> 00:42:42.230
  • It's supernatural.
  • 00:42:42.230 --> 00:42:43.280
  • God's put a grace on his life.
  • 00:42:43.280 --> 00:42:45.090
  • And again, his heart
  • 00:42:45.090 --> 00:42:47.110
  • and his passion for people
  • 00:42:47.110 --> 00:42:49.020
  • is his greatest gift.
  • 00:42:49.020 --> 00:42:51.030
  • He's a brilliant communicator at
  • 00:42:51.030 --> 00:42:52.180
  • every level, from individually
  • 00:42:52.180 --> 00:42:55.090
  • to a big stage like this stage.
  • 00:42:55.090 --> 00:42:57.120
  • And I'm actually super grateful
  • 00:42:57.120 --> 00:42:59.140
  • we've got those guys
  • 00:42:59.140 --> 00:42:59.290
  • in the world.
  • 00:42:59.290 --> 00:43:00.200
  • Joel Houston, Joel is not only
  • 00:43:04.140 --> 00:43:07.140
  • our son, our eldest son,
  • 00:43:09.000 --> 00:43:12.000
  • he's a wise man.
  • 00:43:12.000 --> 00:43:14.000
  • And a lot of people maybe don't
  • 00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:15.050
  • get the opportunity to see the
  • 00:43:15.050 --> 00:43:16.210
  • wisdom that flows out of Joel.
  • 00:43:16.280 --> 00:43:19.280
  • And it's been great, like
  • 00:43:19.280 --> 00:43:21.030
  • everyone, to see him blossom and
  • 00:43:21.030 --> 00:43:23.150
  • emerge, and even in the last
  • 00:43:23.150 --> 00:43:24.210
  • 3 or 4 years to see
  • 00:43:24.210 --> 00:43:26.020
  • what God's been doing
  • 00:43:26.020 --> 00:43:27.100
  • in Joel's life.
  • 00:43:27.100 --> 00:43:28.080
  • But I'm immensely proud of Joel.
  • 00:43:28.080 --> 00:43:30.030
  • Okay, we're gonna talk about
  • 00:43:30.030 --> 00:43:31.000
  • men.
  • 00:43:31.000 --> 00:43:31.280
  • So here goes the conversation.
  • 00:43:31.280 --> 00:43:33.180
  • Carl, let me start with you.
  • 00:43:33.180 --> 00:43:34.160
  • I talked about Aussie men and
  • 00:43:34.160 --> 00:43:35.290
  • mateship, Aussie mateship, which
  • 00:43:35.290 --> 00:43:38.140
  • I think's one of the strong
  • 00:43:38.140 --> 00:43:39.110
  • things about our culture,
  • 00:43:39.110 --> 00:43:41.070
  • but it does have a funny code
  • 00:43:41.070 --> 00:43:42.180
  • to it.
  • 00:43:42.180 --> 00:43:43.100
  • You love your mates.
  • 00:43:43.100 --> 00:43:44.050
  • That part would be true
  • 00:43:44.050 --> 00:43:45.160
  • probably, hopefully,
  • 00:43:45.160 --> 00:43:46.150
  • internationally.
  • 00:43:46.150 --> 00:43:47.130
  • You love your buddies.
  • 00:43:47.130 --> 00:43:48.110
  • "Mates" is such a better word
  • 00:43:48.110 --> 00:43:49.120
  • than "buddies."
  • 00:43:49.120 --> 00:43:52.120
  • And then you never
  • 00:43:52.120 --> 00:43:53.250
  • rat on your mates.
  • 00:43:53.250 --> 00:43:55.020
  • You never squeal on your mate.
  • 00:43:55.020 --> 00:43:56.090
  • You never tell on a mate.
  • 00:43:56.090 --> 00:43:57.100
  • Number three, you'll always
  • 00:43:57.100 --> 00:43:59.190
  • stand up for your mate.
  • 00:43:59.190 --> 00:44:01.150
  • You would go to war for him,
  • 00:44:01.220 --> 00:44:04.220
  • even though that would cost you
  • 00:44:04.220 --> 00:44:06.040
  • your life.
  • 00:44:06.040 --> 00:44:07.000
  • And the weirdest one
  • 00:44:07.000 --> 00:44:07.290
  • is you never sleep
  • 00:44:07.290 --> 00:44:08.250
  • with your best mate's wife.
  • 00:44:08.280 --> 00:44:11.280
  • - Carl: Tryin' to just figure
  • 00:44:14.280 --> 00:44:15.260
  • out where you're goin'
  • 00:44:15.260 --> 00:44:17.010
  • with this.
  • 00:44:17.260 --> 00:44:20.260
  • I think what's awesome about
  • 00:44:20.260 --> 00:44:22.090
  • Australia, there's a lot of
  • 00:44:22.090 --> 00:44:24.100
  • things, Laura Lentz.
  • 00:44:25.190 --> 00:44:28.190
  • I think Australian guys, they
  • 00:44:29.060 --> 00:44:32.060
  • really know how to have fun.
  • 00:44:32.060 --> 00:44:34.270
  • They really know how to,
  • 00:44:34.270 --> 00:44:36.000
  • you know, get the best
  • 00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:36.270
  • out of life.
  • 00:44:36.270 --> 00:44:37.230
  • And I think sometimes my culture
  • 00:44:37.230 --> 00:44:38.290
  • is more closed.
  • 00:44:38.290 --> 00:44:41.010
  • So one of the cool things
  • 00:44:41.010 --> 00:44:42.010
  • I've enjoyed seein',
  • 00:44:42.010 --> 00:44:43.000
  • you know, in I guess the way
  • 00:44:43.000 --> 00:44:44.110
  • that Australian guys
  • 00:44:44.110 --> 00:44:45.200
  • have attacked life
  • 00:44:45.200 --> 00:44:47.010
  • and their relationship
  • 00:44:47.010 --> 00:44:47.280
  • with Jesus is that they are
  • 00:44:47.280 --> 00:44:49.100
  • open, and they're more fun.
  • 00:44:49.100 --> 00:44:50.100
  • I think us Americans can be
  • 00:44:50.100 --> 00:44:52.100
  • a little bit serious sometimes.
  • 00:44:52.250 --> 00:44:55.250
  • Am I your mate?
  • 00:44:55.250 --> 00:44:57.000
  • - Brian: Of course you are.
  • 00:44:57.000 --> 00:44:58.010
  • - Carl: All right.
  • 00:44:58.010 --> 00:44:59.110
  • - Brian: Of course you are.
  • 00:44:59.110 --> 00:45:00.120
  • But I'm your boss first.
  • 00:45:03.270 --> 00:45:06.270
  • He told me right before we came
  • 00:45:06.270 --> 00:45:08.060
  • up here that I was the second,
  • 00:45:08.060 --> 00:45:09.110
  • what'd you say?
  • 00:45:09.110 --> 00:45:10.160
  • Second--
  • 00:45:10.160 --> 00:45:11.140
  • - Carl: Second-best dad
  • 00:45:11.140 --> 00:45:12.150
  • I've ever known.
  • 00:45:12.150 --> 00:45:13.080
  • - Brian: Second-best dad
  • 00:45:13.080 --> 00:45:14.150
  • he's ever known,
  • 00:45:14.150 --> 00:45:15.130
  • which obviously if high honor
  • 00:45:15.130 --> 00:45:16.270
  • because I know his dad.
  • 00:45:16.270 --> 00:45:18.010
  • And his dad is close to God.
  • 00:45:18.090 --> 00:45:21.090
  • So I said, "The only thing
  • 00:45:21.090 --> 00:45:22.150
  • your father's got over me
  • 00:45:22.150 --> 00:45:24.230
  • is he's a really nice guy."
  • 00:45:24.270 --> 00:45:27.270
  • - Carl: You're a pretty nice
  • 00:45:27.270 --> 00:45:28.240
  • guy.
  • 00:45:28.240 --> 00:45:29.220
  • - Brian: I wanna open it up
  • 00:45:29.220 --> 00:45:30.180
  • seriously.
  • 00:45:30.180 --> 00:45:31.140
  • So for all of you guys,
  • 00:45:31.140 --> 00:45:32.150
  • and let's treat this like
  • 00:45:32.150 --> 00:45:33.120
  • an open discussion.
  • 00:45:33.120 --> 00:45:34.110
  • So take the gap.
  • 00:45:34.110 --> 00:45:37.010
  • Throw yourself
  • 00:45:37.010 --> 00:45:37.240
  • into the conversation.
  • 00:45:37.240 --> 00:45:38.210
  • If the person next to you
  • 00:45:38.210 --> 00:45:39.190
  • is dominating,
  • 00:45:39.190 --> 00:45:40.150
  • talk over the top of them.
  • 00:45:40.150 --> 00:45:41.130
  • And we can have
  • 00:45:41.130 --> 00:45:43.200
  • a good conversation.
  • 00:45:43.200 --> 00:45:44.170
  • But I wanna ask you
  • 00:45:44.170 --> 00:45:45.130
  • What do you think,
  • 00:45:47.020 --> 00:45:49.040
  • all being people who have
  • 00:45:49.040 --> 00:45:50.080
  • dealt with people
  • 00:45:50.080 --> 00:45:51.240
  • for a long, long time,
  • 00:45:51.240 --> 00:45:52.230
  • what do you think
  • 00:45:52.230 --> 00:45:53.170
  • is the greatest heart cry
  • 00:45:53.170 --> 00:45:55.220
  • inside of a man?
  • 00:45:55.220 --> 00:45:58.150
  • It's two questions.
  • 00:45:58.150 --> 00:45:59.140
  • One, what is the thing
  • 00:45:59.140 --> 00:46:01.160
  • that means the most to men?
  • 00:46:01.160 --> 00:46:03.060
  • And perhaps secondly,
  • 00:46:03.060 --> 00:46:04.080
  • what should it be?
  • 00:46:06.070 --> 00:46:09.070
  • It's a big question.
  • 00:46:09.290 --> 00:46:12.290
  • - Gary Clarke: Robert.
  • 00:46:12.290 --> 00:46:14.050
  • - Joel A'Bell: C'mon, Robert.
  • 00:46:14.100 --> 00:46:17.100
  • - Robert Fergusson: That is
  • 00:46:17.100 --> 00:46:18.130
  • a huge question right up.
  • 00:46:18.130 --> 00:46:20.210
  • I thought we were gonna be a
  • 00:46:20.210 --> 00:46:22.060
  • little light, and then get into
  • 00:46:22.060 --> 00:46:23.210
  • the heady stuff as we went
  • 00:46:23.210 --> 00:46:25.030
  • along.
  • 00:46:25.030 --> 00:46:26.130
  • I think the heart of humans,
  • 00:46:26.130 --> 00:46:28.100
  • not just men, is a desperate
  • 00:46:28.100 --> 00:46:30.210
  • need and desire for love.
  • 00:46:31.060 --> 00:46:34.060
  • And so I don't think that is any
  • 00:46:35.130 --> 00:46:38.130
  • different for men than it is
  • 00:46:38.130 --> 00:46:39.230
  • for women.
  • 00:46:39.230 --> 00:46:41.020
  • We want to be loved,
  • 00:46:41.020 --> 00:46:43.140
  • and we need to be loved.
  • 00:46:43.140 --> 00:46:45.180
  • And tragically,
  • 00:46:45.180 --> 00:46:46.290
  • we live in a fatherless society,
  • 00:46:47.110 --> 00:46:50.110
  • so we often don't receive love
  • 00:46:50.130 --> 00:46:53.130
  • from our own father.
  • 00:46:53.130 --> 00:46:54.240
  • We live in a godless society,
  • 00:46:54.240 --> 00:46:56.130
  • so we don't understand
  • 00:46:56.130 --> 00:46:57.250
  • how much he loves us.
  • 00:46:57.250 --> 00:46:59.240
  • And then, that burden of love
  • 00:46:59.240 --> 00:47:01.250
  • is placed on us to bring
  • 00:47:01.250 --> 00:47:04.110
  • to our family.
  • 00:47:04.110 --> 00:47:06.030
  • Which, having been brought up in
  • 00:47:06.030 --> 00:47:08.090
  • a loveless way, is a nightmare
  • 00:47:08.090 --> 00:47:10.150
  • because we're required to love
  • 00:47:10.150 --> 00:47:11.230
  • our families.
  • 00:47:11.230 --> 00:47:12.260
  • And it's a huge vacuum
  • 00:47:13.010 --> 00:47:16.010
  • in our society.
  • 00:47:16.010 --> 00:47:17.090
  • If we could have a revelation
  • 00:47:17.090 --> 00:47:18.100
  • of God's love, which we are
  • 00:47:18.100 --> 00:47:19.230
  • enjoying and understanding here,
  • 00:47:21.030 --> 00:47:24.030
  • that would make a world
  • 00:47:24.030 --> 00:47:25.210
  • of difference in our families.
  • 00:47:25.210 --> 00:47:27.260
  • - Brian: Well, I think
  • 00:47:27.260 --> 00:47:28.240
  • your answer's profound.
  • 00:47:28.240 --> 00:47:30.010
  • And I was thinking,
  • 00:47:31.270 --> 00:47:34.270
  • I was actually thinking
  • 00:47:34.270 --> 00:47:35.220
  • after I got down from speaking,
  • 00:47:35.220 --> 00:47:37.190
  • 'cause sometimes you think,
  • 00:47:37.190 --> 00:47:38.140
  • "I wish I could put more tools
  • 00:47:38.140 --> 00:47:39.190
  • in people's hands to help them
  • 00:47:39.190 --> 00:47:41.030
  • to help their men."
  • 00:47:41.030 --> 00:47:42.140
  • But love never fails.
  • 00:47:42.140 --> 00:47:44.050
  • And I think sometimes we can
  • 00:47:44.050 --> 00:47:46.030
  • feel so feeble, praying for
  • 00:47:46.030 --> 00:47:48.050
  • someone and just loving someone.
  • 00:47:48.050 --> 00:47:50.060
  • But love never fails.
  • 00:47:50.110 --> 00:47:53.110
  • Would you add anything, Gary,
  • 00:47:53.110 --> 00:47:55.120
  • when it comes to the heart,
  • 00:47:55.120 --> 00:47:56.100
  • the deep heart cry of men?
  • 00:47:56.100 --> 00:47:57.290
  • - Gary: I think everyone wants
  • 00:47:57.290 --> 00:47:58.280
  • that sense of unconditional
  • 00:47:58.280 --> 00:48:00.080
  • acceptance.
  • 00:48:00.080 --> 00:48:02.020
  • And you touched on it when
  • 00:48:02.020 --> 00:48:03.120
  • you were speaking, just how much
  • 00:48:03.120 --> 00:48:05.190
  • pressure that guys, whether
  • 00:48:05.190 --> 00:48:08.060
  • they put onto themselves,
  • 00:48:08.060 --> 00:48:09.260
  • society puts on men, whatever,
  • 00:48:09.260 --> 00:48:11.100
  • and it's all based on a
  • 00:48:11.100 --> 00:48:13.130
  • performance acceptance.
  • 00:48:13.130 --> 00:48:16.070
  • And I think, at base level,
  • 00:48:16.070 --> 00:48:17.290
  • everybody just wants to
  • 00:48:17.290 --> 00:48:19.020
  • be unconditionally loved.
  • 00:48:19.020 --> 00:48:20.210
  • - Brian: That's true.
  • 00:48:20.210 --> 00:48:22.100
  • - Joel Houston: The exact same
  • 00:48:22.100 --> 00:48:23.070
  • thing, I think, is just,
  • 00:48:23.070 --> 00:48:24.080
  • I think about the word "value."
  • 00:48:24.080 --> 00:48:25.110
  • I don't know.
  • 00:48:25.110 --> 00:48:27.080
  • And just understanding
  • 00:48:27.080 --> 00:48:28.170
  • what feeling valued, like,
  • 00:48:28.270 --> 00:48:31.270
  • I am just sayin' as a, like,
  • 00:48:31.270 --> 00:48:33.020
  • I've never had too much--when
  • 00:48:33.040 --> 00:48:36.040
  • I was a kid, I was super, super
  • 00:48:36.040 --> 00:48:37.150
  • insecure.
  • 00:48:37.150 --> 00:48:38.170
  • Of course, there's been
  • 00:48:38.170 --> 00:48:39.100
  • insecurities my whole life.
  • 00:48:39.100 --> 00:48:40.120
  • But the one thing that I've
  • 00:48:40.120 --> 00:48:41.200
  • learnt in the last few years of
  • 00:48:41.200 --> 00:48:43.010
  • just being married is I didn't
  • 00:48:44.110 --> 00:48:47.110
  • realize how much I needed value
  • 00:48:47.110 --> 00:48:48.260
  • from a partner, a wife,
  • 00:48:49.100 --> 00:48:52.100
  • you know?
  • 00:48:52.100 --> 00:48:53.180
  • And so I think that's something
  • 00:48:53.180 --> 00:48:54.150
  • that, it's love,
  • 00:48:54.150 --> 00:48:55.230
  • it's acceptance,
  • 00:48:55.230 --> 00:48:57.020
  • it's all of those things.
  • 00:48:57.020 --> 00:48:58.000
  • But I think everybody searches
  • 00:48:58.000 --> 00:48:59.150
  • for value, and then they need to
  • 00:48:59.150 --> 00:49:01.020
  • - Carl: Encouragement never
  • 00:49:12.180 --> 00:49:13.120
  • goes out of style.
  • 00:49:13.120 --> 00:49:14.140
  • You gotta go home and maybe
  • 00:49:14.140 --> 00:49:15.160
  • find just something to find
  • 00:49:15.160 --> 00:49:18.080
  • in your husband or your man
  • 00:49:18.080 --> 00:49:19.190
  • that you wanna encourage.
  • 00:49:19.190 --> 00:49:20.240
  • Because nothing is like
  • 00:49:20.240 --> 00:49:21.250
  • the encouragement of the ones
  • 00:49:21.250 --> 00:49:22.290
  • you love the most.
  • 00:49:22.290 --> 00:49:24.070
  • I've never sat in a marriage
  • 00:49:24.070 --> 00:49:25.060
  • counseling meeting and seen
  • 00:49:25.060 --> 00:49:26.240
  • couples yell, like,
  • 00:49:26.240 --> 00:49:27.250
  • "He's too encouraging,"
  • 00:49:27.250 --> 00:49:28.280
  • you know?
  • 00:49:28.280 --> 00:49:29.230
  • "I can't stand him."
  • 00:49:35.020 --> 00:49:38.020
  • - Brian: No one knows more
  • 00:49:38.020 --> 00:49:39.020
  • the potential that's in a guy,
  • 00:49:39.020 --> 00:49:40.260
  • often, than the person
  • 00:49:40.260 --> 00:49:41.280
  • who lives life closest to them.
  • 00:49:41.280 --> 00:49:44.120
  • But again, can feel so helpless,
  • 00:49:44.120 --> 00:49:46.160
  • helping that guy to see who
  • 00:49:46.160 --> 00:49:48.150
  • he could be and what he could
  • 00:49:48.150 --> 00:49:49.220
  • be doing.
  • 00:49:49.220 --> 00:49:51.010
  • Again, anyone who's got any
  • 00:49:51.010 --> 00:49:52.030
  • form of answer on that,
  • 00:49:52.030 --> 00:49:53.110
  • it would be great to hear.
  • 00:49:53.110 --> 00:49:56.080
  • - Gary: Observation, of course,
  • 00:49:56.080 --> 00:49:59.070
  • I've got a friend who--when we
  • 00:50:03.140 --> 00:50:06.140
  • talk about tough subjects,
  • 00:50:06.140 --> 00:50:07.190
  • it's always,
  • 00:50:07.190 --> 00:50:08.190
  • "We have a friend who's--"
  • 00:50:08.190 --> 00:50:09.290
  • - Brian: Exactly.
  • 00:50:09.290 --> 00:50:11.100
  • - Gary: So, but I think, you
  • 00:50:11.100 --> 00:50:14.010
  • know, and this is observational,
  • 00:50:14.010 --> 00:50:15.200
  • and I guess it's,
  • 00:50:15.200 --> 00:50:16.200
  • and I think I'm really blessed.
  • 00:50:16.200 --> 00:50:19.200
  • I've got a wife who does
  • 00:50:19.200 --> 00:50:21.130
  • do this.
  • 00:50:21.130 --> 00:50:22.270
  • Is, you know, a lot of women
  • 00:50:22.270 --> 00:50:25.160
  • fall in love with
  • 00:50:25.160 --> 00:50:28.090
  • the hero inside the man.
  • 00:50:29.060 --> 00:50:32.060
  • And that hero needs
  • 00:50:33.150 --> 00:50:36.150
  • a lot of encouragement.
  • 00:50:36.150 --> 00:50:38.230
  • And sometimes, when,
  • 00:50:38.230 --> 00:50:40.050
  • I've just watched when things
  • 00:50:40.120 --> 00:50:43.120
  • just can go a little bit
  • 00:50:43.120 --> 00:50:44.220
  • pear shaped.
  • 00:50:44.220 --> 00:50:45.260
  • You see it, where they,
  • 00:50:45.260 --> 00:50:47.080
  • a lot of girls,
  • 00:50:47.080 --> 00:50:48.060
  • they fall in love with this man
  • 00:50:48.060 --> 00:50:49.170
  • that's gonna change the world,
  • 00:50:49.170 --> 00:50:51.230
  • until he goes out and tries
  • 00:50:51.230 --> 00:50:52.220
  • to do it, and it's like,
  • 00:50:52.220 --> 00:50:54.080
  • "But he's my man now."
  • 00:50:54.080 --> 00:50:56.210
  • And I would just think,
  • 00:50:56.210 --> 00:50:57.180
  • I'd just say, just,
  • 00:50:57.180 --> 00:50:58.130
  • "C'mon, just keep, that's who
  • 00:50:58.130 --> 00:51:00.040
  • you fell in love with.
  • 00:51:00.040 --> 00:51:01.130
  • That's what Mum instilled
  • 00:51:01.130 --> 00:51:02.140
  • in him."
  • 00:51:02.140 --> 00:51:03.220
  • And I just, it's keep drawing
  • 00:51:03.220 --> 00:51:06.150
  • on, and keep building on that.
  • 00:51:07.060 --> 00:51:10.060
  • - Bobbie: You know, as a woman,
  • 00:51:10.060 --> 00:51:13.010
  • I think we have to remember
  • 00:51:13.100 --> 00:51:16.100
  • right back in Genesis where God
  • 00:51:16.100 --> 00:51:18.060
  • created us together, and equal,
  • 00:51:19.060 --> 00:51:22.060
  • and with the intent that we rule
  • 00:51:22.060 --> 00:51:23.290
  • and reign in life.
  • 00:51:23.290 --> 00:51:25.160
  • And you know, he created us
  • 00:51:25.160 --> 00:51:27.250
  • as women as helper.
  • 00:51:27.270 --> 00:51:30.270
  • And the definition of "helper"
  • 00:51:30.270 --> 00:51:32.030
  • is "one who comes alongside
  • 00:51:32.030 --> 00:51:33.250
  • who helps, who stands in the gap
  • 00:51:34.030 --> 00:51:37.030
  • when there's a gap,
  • 00:51:37.030 --> 00:51:38.280
  • and seeks to be a blessing."
  • 00:51:38.280 --> 00:51:40.030
  • It's not, he didn't create us
  • 00:51:40.030 --> 00:51:41.270
  • to compete or to control.
  • 00:51:41.270 --> 00:51:43.100
  • And I think a lot of women
  • 00:51:43.100 --> 00:51:44.120
  • actually do try to control.
  • 00:51:44.120 --> 00:51:46.210
  • So you can't control, I mean,
  • 00:51:46.210 --> 00:51:49.020
  • there's deficits in all our
  • 00:51:49.020 --> 00:51:50.070
  • lives, and weaknesses in all our
  • 00:51:50.070 --> 00:51:51.090
  • live, but we've got to learn how
  • 00:51:51.090 --> 00:51:52.270
  • to complement the strengths,
  • 00:51:55.040 --> 00:51:58.040
  • and complement the weaknesses,
  • 00:51:58.040 --> 00:52:00.270
  • and come at it with a spirit
  • 00:52:00.270 --> 00:52:01.230
  • of grace.
  • 00:52:01.230 --> 00:52:02.240
  • And that's definitely a learned
  • 00:52:02.240 --> 00:52:04.100
  • art, and none of us get it right
  • 00:52:04.100 --> 00:52:06.130
  • at the beginning.
  • 00:52:06.130 --> 00:52:07.090
  • But you know what?
  • 00:52:07.090 --> 00:52:08.090
  • When we marry someone,
  • 00:52:08.090 --> 00:52:09.280
  • and we're taking about marriage,
  • 00:52:09.280 --> 00:52:11.040
  • it's for life.
  • 00:52:11.040 --> 00:52:11.280
  • So we've got our whole lives
  • 00:52:11.280 --> 00:52:12.250
  • to work this out, you know?
  • 00:52:12.250 --> 00:52:14.180
  • So I just think a lot of girls
  • 00:52:14.180 --> 00:52:16.060
  • do try and control the
  • 00:52:16.060 --> 00:52:19.030
  • situation, and it's gonna bite
  • 00:52:19.030 --> 00:52:20.290
  • you in the butt, girls.
  • 00:52:20.290 --> 00:52:22.150
  • - Ben: If I can,
  • 00:52:34.160 --> 00:52:36.050
  • I'd like to add--
  • 00:52:36.050 --> 00:52:37.050
  • - Gary: This is like marriage
  • 00:52:37.050 --> 00:52:37.270
  • counseling, isn't it?
  • 00:52:37.270 --> 00:52:38.260
  • Yeah.
  • 00:52:38.260 --> 00:52:39.210
  • - Ben: It's just weird 'cause
  • 00:52:39.210 --> 00:52:40.180
  • it's my parents talking.
  • 00:52:40.180 --> 00:52:42.020
  • - Gary: [laughing]
  • 00:52:42.020 --> 00:52:43.010
  • - Bobbie: [laughing]
  • 00:52:43.160 --> 00:52:46.160
  • - Ben: If I could add
  • 00:52:46.160 --> 00:52:47.090
  • two things to that.
  • 00:52:47.090 --> 00:52:49.160
  • You know, things that, like your
  • 00:52:49.160 --> 00:52:50.230
  • question, unlock the potential
  • 00:52:50.230 --> 00:52:52.040
  • in a man.
  • 00:52:52.040 --> 00:52:53.240
  • I would say belief and trust,
  • 00:52:53.240 --> 00:52:55.150
  • belief and trust.
  • 00:52:55.150 --> 00:52:57.100
  • And I think they're two things
  • 00:52:57.100 --> 00:52:58.050
  • that men can often break easily.
  • 00:52:58.050 --> 00:52:59.150
  • We are good at breaking trust,
  • 00:52:59.150 --> 00:53:02.150
  • and we're good at acting like
  • 00:53:02.150 --> 00:53:04.190
  • we're, we are those superheroes.
  • 00:53:04.190 --> 00:53:07.020
  • And then you married a man, and
  • 00:53:07.020 --> 00:53:08.090
  • then we become that lazy slob.
  • 00:53:08.090 --> 00:53:10.230
  • You can lose, kinda, belief.
  • 00:53:10.230 --> 00:53:13.000
  • But I think if we're to speak
  • 00:53:13.000 --> 00:53:14.260
  • to the incredible women that are
  • 00:53:14.260 --> 00:53:17.030
  • here today, and talking about
  • 00:53:17.030 --> 00:53:18.190
  • unlocking that potential that's
  • 00:53:18.190 --> 00:53:20.100
  • in a man, it's to do those
  • 00:53:20.110 --> 00:53:23.110
  • two things, you know,
  • 00:53:23.110 --> 00:53:24.150
  • believe in your man,
  • 00:53:24.150 --> 00:53:25.160
  • and to learn to trust your man.
  • 00:53:25.160 --> 00:53:27.000
  • I think they're two pretty
  • 00:53:27.000 --> 00:53:29.160
  • powerful things.
  • 00:53:29.160 --> 00:53:31.080
  • - Carl: I would add, I think,
  • 00:53:31.080 --> 00:53:34.020
  • encouragement.
  • 00:53:34.020 --> 00:53:35.210
  • Encouragement never goes
  • 00:53:35.210 --> 00:53:36.190
  • out of style.
  • 00:53:36.190 --> 00:53:37.180
  • And I think that when you
  • 00:53:37.180 --> 00:53:38.120
  • first are married, you know,
  • 00:53:38.120 --> 00:53:39.200
  • you often see in church,
  • 00:53:39.200 --> 00:53:40.270
  • it's super encouraging.
  • 00:53:40.270 --> 00:53:42.020
  • And then I think there's a gap
  • 00:53:42.020 --> 00:53:43.230
  • between who you want your
  • 00:53:43.230 --> 00:53:44.250
  • husband to be and who he is.
  • 00:53:44.250 --> 00:53:46.260
  • And I think you leave a
  • 00:53:46.260 --> 00:53:47.240
  • conference like this
  • 00:53:47.240 --> 00:53:48.190
  • and you gotta go home
  • 00:53:48.190 --> 00:53:49.230
  • and maybe find just something
  • 00:53:49.230 --> 00:53:51.010
  • to find in your husband
  • 00:53:51.010 --> 00:53:53.230
  • or your man that you wanna
  • 00:53:53.230 --> 00:53:54.230
  • encourage.
  • 00:53:54.230 --> 00:53:55.220
  • Because nothing is like
  • 00:53:55.220 --> 00:53:56.180
  • the encouragement of the ones
  • 00:53:56.180 --> 00:53:57.110
  • you love the most.
  • 00:53:57.110 --> 00:53:58.270
  • I've never sat in a marriage
  • 00:53:58.270 --> 00:54:00.030
  • counseling meeting
  • 00:54:00.030 --> 00:54:00.260
  • and seen couples yell,
  • 00:54:00.260 --> 00:54:01.280
  • like, "He's too encouraging,"
  • 00:54:01.280 --> 00:54:03.130
  • you know?
  • 00:54:03.130 --> 00:54:04.080
  • "I can't stand him."
  • 00:54:04.080 --> 00:54:05.100
  • And I think there's a,
  • 00:54:05.100 --> 00:54:07.000
  • if you can even start small,
  • 00:54:07.060 --> 00:54:10.060
  • just to find something.
  • 00:54:10.060 --> 00:54:11.120
  • The encouragement of the one
  • 00:54:11.120 --> 00:54:12.150
  • you love the most, 'cause guys
  • 00:54:12.150 --> 00:54:14.090
  • are tryin'.
  • 00:54:14.090 --> 00:54:15.160
  • I think sometimes guys
  • 00:54:15.160 --> 00:54:16.190
  • are the hardest on themselves.
  • 00:54:16.190 --> 00:54:18.030
  • And the longer you're married,
  • 00:54:18.030 --> 00:54:19.200
  • the more you start seein'
  • 00:54:19.200 --> 00:54:20.290
  • the cracks rather than celebrate
  • 00:54:20.290 --> 00:54:22.270
  • even the small wins.
  • 00:54:22.270 --> 00:54:24.140
  • And I think if you,
  • 00:54:24.140 --> 00:54:25.100
  • especially if your husband isn't
  • 00:54:25.100 --> 00:54:26.120
  • a Christian, or doesn't know
  • 00:54:26.120 --> 00:54:27.200
  • Jesus, just to find the little
  • 00:54:27.200 --> 00:54:30.160
  • bit of sun there might be,
  • 00:54:30.160 --> 00:54:32.000
  • little bit of rays of light goes
  • 00:54:32.000 --> 00:54:33.030
  • a long way.
  • 00:54:33.030 --> 00:54:34.160
  • - Brian: Cool.
  • 00:54:37.250 --> 00:54:40.250
  • - Robert: Can I just pick up
  • 00:54:40.250 --> 00:54:41.220
  • on something that Ben said?
  • 00:54:41.220 --> 00:54:43.190
  • Obviously, men are desperate
  • 00:54:43.190 --> 00:54:45.130
  • to be affirmed.
  • 00:54:45.130 --> 00:54:46.230
  • They're desperate
  • 00:54:46.230 --> 00:54:48.020
  • to be encouraged.
  • 00:54:48.020 --> 00:54:49.010
  • They're desperate
  • 00:54:49.010 --> 00:54:50.010
  • to be respected.
  • 00:54:50.010 --> 00:54:51.010
  • But "trust" is a really
  • 00:54:51.010 --> 00:54:52.110
  • interesting word because
  • 00:54:52.110 --> 00:54:54.100
  • a lot of people will say,
  • 00:54:54.100 --> 00:54:55.070
  • "Well, I can't trust my husband.
  • 00:54:55.070 --> 00:54:56.200
  • He's untrustworthy."
  • 00:54:56.200 --> 00:54:57.280
  • Or, "He's proved himself
  • 00:54:57.280 --> 00:54:59.070
  • untrustworthy."
  • 00:54:59.070 --> 00:55:00.040
  • Or, "I can't honor my parents.
  • 00:55:00.040 --> 00:55:01.160
  • They've proved themselves
  • 00:55:01.160 --> 00:55:02.200
  • to be dishonorable."
  • 00:55:02.200 --> 00:55:04.000
  • But if you look
  • 00:55:04.000 --> 00:55:06.040
  • in 1 Corinthians,
  • 00:55:06.040 --> 00:55:07.030
  • it says: "Love trusts."
  • 00:55:07.030 --> 00:55:09.070
  • And if you look in the Greek,
  • 00:55:09.070 --> 00:55:11.070
  • the word means "trust."
  • 00:55:11.070 --> 00:55:13.270
  • That's what it means.
  • 00:55:13.270 --> 00:55:16.200
  • It's a choice.
  • 00:55:16.200 --> 00:55:18.140
  • You choose to trust.
  • 00:55:18.140 --> 00:55:19.130
  • Now, I know we need to earn
  • 00:55:19.130 --> 00:55:20.140
  • trust in aspects of our life.
  • 00:55:20.140 --> 00:55:22.280
  • But there is an aspect that
  • 00:55:22.280 --> 00:55:25.030
  • we just choose to do it because
  • 00:55:25.030 --> 00:55:27.130
  • it's the right thing to do.
  • 00:55:27.130 --> 00:55:29.130
  • And I think of Peter who,
  • 00:55:29.130 --> 00:55:31.250
  • for me, was one of the most
  • 00:55:31.250 --> 00:55:32.280
  • untrustworthy people on the face
  • 00:55:32.280 --> 00:55:34.100
  • of the planet.
  • 00:55:34.100 --> 00:55:35.250
  • And just after he failed Jesus
  • 00:55:35.250 --> 00:55:37.100
  • dismally, Jesus trusted him
  • 00:55:38.060 --> 00:55:41.060
  • with the most precious thing
  • 00:55:41.060 --> 00:55:43.110
  • in his life, his lambs.
  • 00:55:43.110 --> 00:55:46.050
  • And I just, I would just
  • 00:55:46.050 --> 00:55:47.180
  • encourage people in this room.
  • 00:55:47.180 --> 00:55:49.010
  • If you have a slightly
  • 00:55:49.010 --> 00:55:50.130
  • untrustworthy person in your
  • 00:55:50.290 --> 00:55:53.290
  • world, just be brave,
  • 00:55:53.290 --> 00:55:55.280
  • and just trust them a little.
  • 00:55:55.280 --> 00:55:57.240
  • Because it will release them
  • 00:55:57.240 --> 00:55:59.160
  • to be someone different.
  • 00:56:05.240 --> 00:56:08.240
  • - Brian: Just takin' it back
  • 00:56:08.240 --> 00:56:09.200
  • to encouragement for a second,
  • 00:56:09.200 --> 00:56:11.160
  • I need a lot of encouragement.
  • 00:56:11.160 --> 00:56:12.280
  • Everyone needs encouragement.
  • 00:56:12.280 --> 00:56:14.240
  • And you can assume no one,
  • 00:56:14.240 --> 00:56:16.020
  • you can assume that some people
  • 00:56:16.020 --> 00:56:17.130
  • don't, you know,
  • 00:56:17.130 --> 00:56:19.090
  • you can assume two things.
  • 00:56:19.090 --> 00:56:20.120
  • One, you can assume that some
  • 00:56:20.120 --> 00:56:21.210
  • people, they wouldn't need
  • 00:56:21.210 --> 00:56:22.270
  • encouragement
  • 00:56:22.270 --> 00:56:23.200
  • 'cause they're so confident.
  • 00:56:23.200 --> 00:56:24.270
  • And second thing is,
  • 00:56:24.270 --> 00:56:25.240
  • you can assume they get
  • 00:56:25.240 --> 00:56:26.230
  • a lot of encouragement.
  • 00:56:26.230 --> 00:56:28.200
  • 'Cause sometimes they don't.
  • 00:56:28.200 --> 00:56:30.150
  • And so I'm big on encouragement.
  • 00:56:30.150 --> 00:56:32.290
  • I can think of one friend that
  • 00:56:32.290 --> 00:56:34.230
  • I've had over the years
  • 00:56:34.230 --> 00:56:36.150
  • who's a pastor,
  • 00:56:36.150 --> 00:56:37.140
  • and gets up from preaching.
  • 00:56:37.140 --> 00:56:38.190
  • And when he gets down,
  • 00:56:38.190 --> 00:56:39.190
  • his wife assassinates him
  • 00:56:39.190 --> 00:56:40.200
  • over what he said.
  • 00:56:40.200 --> 00:56:43.000
  • Like, literally,
  • 00:56:43.000 --> 00:56:44.000
  • it's her job to--
  • 00:56:44.000 --> 00:56:45.220
  • - Gary: And he's still
  • 00:56:45.220 --> 00:56:46.190
  • a pastor?
  • 00:56:46.190 --> 00:56:47.130
  • - Brian: Yeah, he is.
  • 00:56:47.130 --> 00:56:48.090
  • And he's in your country.
  • 00:56:48.090 --> 00:56:49.160
  • So [laughing]
  • 00:56:50.140 --> 00:56:53.140
  • So, literally, his wife,
  • 00:56:53.140 --> 00:56:55.270
  • in front of people,
  • 00:56:55.270 --> 00:56:57.160
  • will tell him exactly what
  • 00:56:57.160 --> 00:56:58.130
  • he did wrong, and what
  • 00:56:58.130 --> 00:56:59.170
  • he should've done better.
  • 00:56:59.170 --> 00:57:00.210
  • And of course, we have known
  • 00:57:00.210 --> 00:57:02.030
  • others who, literally, the wife
  • 00:57:02.030 --> 00:57:03.020
  • sits on the front row,
  • 00:57:03.020 --> 00:57:04.260
  • and tells him what he's doing
  • 00:57:04.260 --> 00:57:05.280
  • wrong from the front row,
  • 00:57:05.280 --> 00:57:07.050
  • shouts it out to him while
  • 00:57:07.050 --> 00:57:08.160
  • he's preaching.
  • 00:57:08.160 --> 00:57:09.270
  • Well, I couldn't even tell you
  • 00:57:09.270 --> 00:57:10.270
  • how, for me to be doing what I
  • 00:57:10.270 --> 00:57:13.130
  • do, because of the encouragement
  • 00:57:13.130 --> 00:57:15.230
  • of Bobbie, and the constant
  • 00:57:15.230 --> 00:57:17.240
  • encouragement.
  • 00:57:17.240 --> 00:57:18.190
  • I know that when I get down,
  • 00:57:18.190 --> 00:57:20.120
  • if she can't encourage me about
  • 00:57:20.120 --> 00:57:21.270
  • all of these things, she'll find
  • 00:57:21.270 --> 00:57:22.270
  • somethin' she can encourage
  • 00:57:22.270 --> 00:57:24.040
  • me with.
  • 00:57:24.040 --> 00:57:25.060
  • And so encouragement
  • 00:57:25.060 --> 00:57:27.030
  • is a massive thing.
  • 00:57:27.030 --> 00:57:28.250
  • And never assume that, no,
  • 00:57:28.250 --> 00:57:30.040
  • that anyone in your family
  • 00:57:30.040 --> 00:57:31.230
  • doesn't need encouragement,
  • 00:57:31.230 --> 00:57:33.290
  • - Joel Houston: I've seen
  • 00:57:39.050 --> 00:57:40.030
  • so many friends do it over
  • 00:57:40.030 --> 00:57:41.060
  • the years, men and women,
  • 00:57:41.060 --> 00:57:43.030
  • step off their rock
  • 00:57:43.030 --> 00:57:44.260
  • and end up sinking in the sand
  • 00:57:44.260 --> 00:57:47.040
  • with their partner,
  • 00:57:47.040 --> 00:57:48.050
  • or in their relationship.
  • 00:57:48.050 --> 00:57:49.170
  • And if you know what your rock
  • 00:57:49.170 --> 00:57:50.220
  • is, and you trust it, and you
  • 00:57:50.220 --> 00:57:52.040
  • understand that it's a firm
  • 00:57:52.040 --> 00:57:53.070
  • foundation, sooner or later, and
  • 00:57:53.070 --> 00:57:54.260
  • it might take many, many years,
  • 00:57:54.260 --> 00:57:56.190
  • that person is gonna be sinking
  • 00:57:56.190 --> 00:57:57.260
  • in sand, and then they'll see
  • 00:57:57.260 --> 00:57:59.080
  • that you're solid,
  • 00:57:59.080 --> 00:58:00.100
  • and they're gonna figure it out
  • 00:58:00.100 --> 00:58:01.120
  • sooner or later.
  • 00:58:04.290 --> 00:58:07.290
  • - Brian: What about the girl
  • 00:58:07.290 --> 00:58:08.290
  • here who's goin' through pain
  • 00:58:08.290 --> 00:58:10.240
  • because her guy isn't serving
  • 00:58:10.240 --> 00:58:13.040
  • Jesus?
  • 00:58:13.040 --> 00:58:14.060
  • Maybe once he was,
  • 00:58:14.060 --> 00:58:15.040
  • and he's not now, or maybe
  • 00:58:15.040 --> 00:58:16.290
  • he never has been born again.
  • 00:58:17.030 --> 00:58:20.030
  • How do you help her to help him?
  • 00:58:20.090 --> 00:58:23.090
  • Anyone got any thoughts on that?
  • 00:58:23.120 --> 00:58:26.120
  • - Joel A'Bell: In all of those
  • 00:58:26.120 --> 00:58:27.120
  • things, like, everything's very
  • 00:58:27.120 --> 00:58:29.220
  • subjective.
  • 00:58:29.220 --> 00:58:31.170
  • So you started in the beginning,
  • 00:58:31.170 --> 00:58:33.130
  • Brian, talking about how,
  • 00:58:33.130 --> 00:58:34.160
  • you know,
  • 00:58:34.160 --> 00:58:35.140
  • what is and what should be.
  • 00:58:35.140 --> 00:58:37.040
  • And what is is whatever
  • 00:58:37.040 --> 00:58:38.200
  • our experience is.
  • 00:58:38.200 --> 00:58:39.200
  • What should be is a completely
  • 00:58:39.200 --> 00:58:40.210
  • different story.
  • 00:58:40.210 --> 00:58:41.200
  • And so for the girl here that's
  • 00:58:41.200 --> 00:58:43.230
  • married or partnered
  • 00:58:43.230 --> 00:58:45.260
  • with someone who's not saved,
  • 00:58:45.260 --> 00:58:47.090
  • that's what is.
  • 00:58:47.090 --> 00:58:48.270
  • What should be for all of us
  • 00:58:48.270 --> 00:58:49.270
  • is a completely different story.
  • 00:58:49.270 --> 00:58:52.040
  • And when it comes to
  • 00:58:52.040 --> 00:58:53.000
  • relationships, I was thinking
  • 00:58:53.000 --> 00:58:54.060
  • exactly what you were saying,
  • 00:58:54.060 --> 00:58:55.080
  • Bobbie.
  • 00:58:55.080 --> 00:58:56.030
  • I read, I quickly flicked to
  • 00:58:56.030 --> 00:58:57.020
  • Genesis because I thought, "This
  • 00:58:57.020 --> 00:58:58.160
  • whole discussion's gotta come
  • 00:58:58.160 --> 00:58:59.230
  • back to Scripture of what
  • 00:58:59.230 --> 00:59:01.120
  • should be."
  • 00:59:01.120 --> 00:59:02.080
  • Not what is, but what should be.
  • 00:59:02.080 --> 00:59:03.200
  • So wherever we're at,
  • 00:59:03.200 --> 00:59:04.220
  • it's, here's where we are.
  • 00:59:04.220 --> 00:59:06.180
  • What should it be?
  • 00:59:06.180 --> 00:59:08.060
  • And in the beginning, it says,
  • 00:59:08.060 --> 00:59:09.150
  • "In the beginning,
  • 00:59:09.150 --> 00:59:10.110
  • he created them,
  • 00:59:10.110 --> 00:59:11.150
  • male and female,
  • 00:59:11.150 --> 00:59:12.140
  • he created them."
  • 00:59:12.140 --> 00:59:14.030
  • And the emphasis
  • 00:59:14.030 --> 00:59:15.100
  • is on the word "them."
  • 00:59:15.100 --> 00:59:17.090
  • And it's so difficult, when
  • 00:59:17.090 --> 00:59:18.110
  • we're talking about these things
  • 00:59:18.110 --> 00:59:19.190
  • because it can be easily,
  • 00:59:19.190 --> 00:59:20.250
  • "Well, what should the wife do?"
  • 00:59:20.250 --> 00:59:22.010
  • Or,
  • 00:59:22.010 --> 00:59:23.090
  • "What should the husband do?"
  • 00:59:23.090 --> 00:59:24.140
  • But it's them.
  • 00:59:24.140 --> 00:59:25.280
  • And I think what is so tragic
  • 00:59:26.060 --> 00:59:29.060
  • that sometimes it's you girls
  • 00:59:29.060 --> 00:59:31.150
  • that are, you're doing the whole
  • 00:59:31.150 --> 00:59:33.110
  • them bit.
  • 00:59:33.110 --> 00:59:35.110
  • But he's gotta come
  • 00:59:35.110 --> 00:59:36.150
  • to the party.
  • 00:59:36.150 --> 00:59:38.070
  • Or he's doing the whole
  • 00:59:38.070 --> 00:59:39.060
  • them bit, and she's gotta come
  • 00:59:39.060 --> 00:59:40.190
  • to the party.
  • 00:59:40.190 --> 00:59:41.130
  • Like, it's so together.
  • 00:59:41.130 --> 00:59:43.000
  • I think about Jules and I.
  • 00:59:43.000 --> 00:59:44.150
  • When she loves me,
  • 00:59:44.150 --> 00:59:46.040
  • when she serves me,
  • 00:59:46.040 --> 00:59:47.010
  • when she esteems me,
  • 00:59:47.010 --> 00:59:48.030
  • when she submits,
  • 00:59:48.030 --> 00:59:48.290
  • when she prefers,
  • 00:59:48.290 --> 00:59:50.010
  • when she does those things,
  • 00:59:50.010 --> 00:59:52.050
  • what it does to me.
  • 00:59:52.050 --> 00:59:53.030
  • It makes me come alive.
  • 00:59:53.030 --> 00:59:54.110
  • But then I take what Jesus
  • 00:59:54.110 --> 00:59:55.220
  • said about marriage, and about
  • 00:59:55.220 --> 00:59:57.270
  • the male and the female,
  • 00:59:57.270 --> 00:59:59.010
  • and the woman's gotta submit.
  • 00:59:59.020 --> 01:00:02.020
  • But if you read the next bit.
  • 01:00:02.020 --> 01:00:04.250
  • The man's job is to give his
  • 01:00:04.250 --> 01:00:06.220
  • life like Jesus did the church.
  • 01:00:06.220 --> 01:00:09.190
  • And so I find the lean in,
  • 01:00:09.190 --> 01:00:11.210
  • the lean in is right here.
  • 01:00:11.210 --> 01:00:13.100
  • When, 'cause Jesus died first,
  • 01:00:13.100 --> 01:00:15.190
  • he gave his life for the church,
  • 01:00:15.190 --> 01:00:16.280
  • and the church must submit.
  • 01:00:16.280 --> 01:00:18.080
  • So I think the wife's job's
  • 01:00:18.080 --> 01:00:20.100
  • easier to submit when the
  • 01:00:20.100 --> 01:00:22.170
  • husband first gives his life.
  • 01:00:23.030 --> 01:00:26.030
  • I think it's the leaning in.
  • 01:00:26.030 --> 01:00:28.040
  • It's them.
  • 01:00:28.040 --> 01:00:29.080
  • It's the together.
  • 01:00:29.080 --> 01:00:31.010
  • That's where I find the
  • 01:00:31.010 --> 01:00:31.290
  • challenge.
  • 01:00:31.290 --> 01:00:32.180
  • - Carl: Yeah, well,
  • 01:00:32.180 --> 01:00:33.150
  • we have the tension in New York
  • 01:00:33.150 --> 01:00:34.140
  • a lot 'cause people will get
  • 01:00:34.140 --> 01:00:35.290
  • saved, and then they go from
  • 01:00:35.290 --> 01:00:37.010
  • elation to, "Oh, my gosh,
  • 01:00:37.010 --> 01:00:39.190
  • the one I love is not."
  • 01:00:39.190 --> 01:00:41.140
  • So we see a, I can't prove it
  • 01:00:41.140 --> 01:00:43.080
  • theologically, but I'm pretty
  • 01:00:43.080 --> 01:00:44.170
  • sure that praying wives have
  • 01:00:45.110 --> 01:00:48.110
  • more powerful prayer
  • 01:00:48.110 --> 01:00:49.060
  • than anybody else.
  • 01:00:49.060 --> 01:00:50.220
  • So the worst thing you can do
  • 01:00:50.220 --> 01:00:52.070
  • is go home and you know,
  • 01:00:52.070 --> 01:00:54.200
  • try to save your husband.
  • 01:00:54.200 --> 01:00:56.220
  • You can't do it.
  • 01:00:56.220 --> 01:00:57.290
  • But what I've seen happen,
  • 01:00:57.290 --> 01:00:59.040
  • time and time again, are wives
  • 01:00:59.040 --> 01:01:00.230
  • that will come in and go,
  • 01:01:00.230 --> 01:01:01.240
  • "I love my husband.
  • 01:01:01.240 --> 01:01:02.260
  • He doesn't know Jesus."
  • 01:01:02.260 --> 01:01:04.100
  • Your prayer, there's somethin'
  • 01:01:04.100 --> 01:01:06.030
  • about it that changes
  • 01:01:06.030 --> 01:01:07.180
  • the household,
  • 01:01:07.180 --> 01:01:08.190
  • changes the atmosphere.
  • 01:01:08.190 --> 01:01:09.250
  • And before you know it,
  • 01:01:09.250 --> 01:01:10.220
  • there's another prayer that
  • 01:01:10.220 --> 01:01:11.260
  • someone else followed up.
  • 01:01:11.260 --> 01:01:12.290
  • There's another meeting
  • 01:01:12.290 --> 01:01:13.270
  • that somebody else followed up.
  • 01:01:13.270 --> 01:01:14.260
  • And really, to me, it's a test
  • 01:01:14.260 --> 01:01:17.100
  • of, "Can you stay in long enough
  • 01:01:17.100 --> 01:01:18.130
  • and give the Holy Spirit time to
  • 01:01:18.130 --> 01:01:19.280
  • work and not get discouraged?"
  • 01:01:19.280 --> 01:01:21.190
  • That's why comin' to this is
  • 01:01:21.190 --> 01:01:22.180
  • incredible, because you get
  • 01:01:22.180 --> 01:01:23.200
  • to remind yourself there's
  • 01:01:23.200 --> 01:01:24.210
  • a lot of women who are fightin'
  • 01:01:24.210 --> 01:01:26.040
  • the same thing.
  • 01:01:26.040 --> 01:01:27.000
  • There's a lot of people who are,
  • 01:01:27.000 --> 01:01:28.030
  • you know, praying with you.
  • 01:01:28.030 --> 01:01:29.080
  • And I think I've seen it time
  • 01:01:29.080 --> 01:01:30.220
  • and time again,
  • 01:01:30.220 --> 01:01:31.180
  • where a wife's gotten saved.
  • 01:01:31.180 --> 01:01:32.210
  • Her husband's far from God.
  • 01:01:32.210 --> 01:01:34.080
  • And she sits there in church
  • 01:01:34.080 --> 01:01:35.060
  • and she sobs, and she cries,
  • 01:01:35.060 --> 01:01:36.160
  • but she believes, and she prays.
  • 01:01:36.160 --> 01:01:38.290
  • And God honors those prayers.
  • 01:01:38.290 --> 01:01:40.170
  • So if you can just remind
  • 01:01:40.170 --> 01:01:41.150
  • yourself,
  • 01:01:41.150 --> 01:01:42.100
  • "It's a matter of time.
  • 01:01:42.100 --> 01:01:43.170
  • I'm gonna keep prayin',"
  • 01:01:43.170 --> 01:01:44.220
  • and God'll come through.
  • 01:01:44.220 --> 01:01:46.170
  • Or you can kill him.
  • 01:01:46.170 --> 01:01:47.240
  • - Gary: Yeah.
  • 01:01:47.240 --> 01:01:48.220
  • Can I just, I just, just
  • 01:01:48.220 --> 01:01:51.110
  • building on what Carl
  • 01:01:52.160 --> 01:01:55.160
  • was saying, you know,
  • 01:01:55.160 --> 01:01:56.280
  • I would say to people that
  • 01:01:56.280 --> 01:01:58.060
  • your husband's not a Christian,
  • 01:01:58.060 --> 01:02:00.200
  • is just back off a bit.
  • 01:02:01.020 --> 01:02:04.020
  • Just back off.
  • 01:02:04.020 --> 01:02:05.010
  • Do what Carl said,
  • 01:02:05.010 --> 01:02:06.070
  • and don't back off with God,
  • 01:02:06.070 --> 01:02:07.170
  • but just back off.
  • 01:02:07.170 --> 01:02:09.040
  • And it's true that there's,
  • 01:02:09.040 --> 01:02:11.000
  • you know, what is there about,
  • 01:02:11.000 --> 01:02:12.080
  • you know, "A nagging wife,"
  • 01:02:12.080 --> 01:02:14.150
  • whatever it says,
  • 01:02:14.150 --> 01:02:16.010
  • "is a dripping tap."
  • 01:02:16.010 --> 01:02:17.130
  • And if you know someone that
  • 01:02:18.170 --> 01:02:21.170
  • doesn't know Jesus, what do you
  • 01:02:21.170 --> 01:02:22.210
  • try and do?
  • 01:02:22.210 --> 01:02:23.130
  • You don't nag 'em to Jesus.
  • 01:02:23.130 --> 01:02:25.140
  • You win them to Jesus.
  • 01:02:25.140 --> 01:02:28.000
  • And if you just back off
  • 01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:30.030
  • a little bit and just trust God,
  • 01:02:30.030 --> 01:02:32.220
  • and win them, versus--
  • 01:02:33.080 --> 01:02:36.080
  • - Joel A'Bell: I reckon
  • 01:02:36.080 --> 01:02:37.090
  • that's amazing.
  • 01:02:37.090 --> 01:02:38.090
  • - Gary: Chase them.
  • 01:02:38.090 --> 01:02:39.040
  • - Joel A'Bell: I reckon that
  • 01:02:39.040 --> 01:02:40.020
  • is so powerful.
  • 01:02:40.020 --> 01:02:41.180
  • There's no way we usually treat
  • 01:02:41.180 --> 01:02:42.160
  • our spouse the way we treat
  • 01:02:42.160 --> 01:02:43.190
  • a friend we're tryin' to bring.
  • 01:02:43.190 --> 01:02:44.080
  • Or we bring a friend slowly.
  • 01:02:44.080 --> 01:02:45.080
  • We work with them.
  • 01:02:45.080 --> 01:02:46.060
  • We're not tryin' to make them
  • 01:02:46.060 --> 01:02:46.290
  • so we shouldn't be tryin'
  • 01:02:46.290 --> 01:02:48.150
  • to make our spouse.
  • 01:02:48.150 --> 01:02:50.030
  • It almost goes back to--
  • 01:02:50.030 --> 01:02:51.180
  • - Gary: 'Cause you've gotta
  • 01:02:51.180 --> 01:02:52.130
  • remember, he's got a mother,
  • 01:02:52.130 --> 01:02:53.170
  • right?
  • 01:02:53.170 --> 01:02:54.130
  • Not knocking mothers, right?
  • 01:02:54.130 --> 01:02:55.170
  • But mothers and sons, right?
  • 01:02:56.080 --> 01:02:59.080
  • Not knocking mothers,
  • 01:02:59.080 --> 01:03:00.100
  • I know the room's full
  • 01:03:00.100 --> 01:03:01.120
  • of mothers, so and we all love
  • 01:03:01.120 --> 01:03:02.100
  • mothers 'cause we've all
  • 01:03:02.100 --> 01:03:03.180
  • got one, right?
  • 01:03:03.180 --> 01:03:05.070
  • But he's been, he's grown up
  • 01:03:05.070 --> 01:03:06.130
  • with a mother who tells him,
  • 01:03:06.230 --> 01:03:09.230
  • "Pick up your socks."
  • 01:03:09.230 --> 01:03:12.140
  • The list goes on.
  • 01:03:12.140 --> 01:03:13.200
  • So--
  • 01:03:13.200 --> 01:03:15.130
  • - Joel A'Bell: Oh, yeah,
  • 01:03:15.130 --> 01:03:17.010
  • you don't wanna be married
  • 01:03:17.010 --> 01:03:17.290
  • to your mother.
  • 01:03:17.290 --> 01:03:18.280
  • - Gary: So he's going,
  • 01:03:18.280 --> 01:03:21.050
  • "She's sounding like my mother.
  • 01:03:22.060 --> 01:03:25.060
  • I love my mother,
  • 01:03:25.060 --> 01:03:26.110
  • but she's talking about Jesus.
  • 01:03:26.110 --> 01:03:28.020
  • But that's how my mother talked
  • 01:03:28.020 --> 01:03:29.070
  • to me about my socks."
  • 01:03:29.090 --> 01:03:32.090
  • - Brian: "Put down
  • 01:03:32.090 --> 01:03:32.260
  • the toilet seat."
  • 01:03:32.260 --> 01:03:33.260
  • - Gary: Just, put down
  • 01:03:33.260 --> 01:03:34.260
  • all of those things.
  • 01:03:34.260 --> 01:03:35.230
  • Just win, win him to Jesus.
  • 01:03:35.230 --> 01:03:38.120
  • Win him to Jesus.
  • 01:03:38.120 --> 01:03:39.140
  • - Joel Houston: I was just
  • 01:03:39.140 --> 01:03:40.070
  • thinking about the fact, I mean,
  • 01:03:40.070 --> 01:03:41.150
  • if I could just say one thing
  • 01:03:41.150 --> 01:03:42.220
  • to any woman or any man, anyone,
  • 01:03:42.220 --> 01:03:44.270
  • in this situation.
  • 01:03:44.270 --> 01:03:46.040
  • It's just like, don't get off
  • 01:03:46.040 --> 01:03:47.080
  • your rock.
  • 01:03:47.080 --> 01:03:48.100
  • Like, know what your rock is
  • 01:03:48.100 --> 01:03:49.250
  • and never leave it.
  • 01:03:49.250 --> 01:03:50.260
  • Because I feel like the heart
  • 01:03:50.260 --> 01:03:52.130
  • within us, when we love
  • 01:03:52.130 --> 01:03:53.200
  • somebody, and when we care about
  • 01:03:53.200 --> 01:03:55.070
  • them, we feel so desperately
  • 01:03:55.070 --> 01:03:56.060
  • that we have to go to where they
  • 01:03:56.060 --> 01:03:57.230
  • are to try to pull them to where
  • 01:03:57.230 --> 01:03:58.180
  • we are.
  • 01:03:58.180 --> 01:03:59.230
  • And I'll tell you something
  • 01:03:59.230 --> 01:04:00.240
  • about, I just, the test of time,
  • 01:04:00.240 --> 01:04:02.080
  • I've seen so many friends do it
  • 01:04:02.080 --> 01:04:03.220
  • over the years, men and women,
  • 01:04:04.010 --> 01:04:07.010
  • step off their rock and end up
  • 01:04:07.010 --> 01:04:09.070
  • sinking in the sand with their
  • 01:04:09.070 --> 01:04:10.180
  • partner, or in their
  • 01:04:10.180 --> 01:04:11.160
  • relationship.
  • 01:04:11.160 --> 01:04:12.250
  • And if you know what your rock
  • 01:04:12.250 --> 01:04:13.280
  • is, and you trust it, and you
  • 01:04:13.280 --> 01:04:14.290
  • understand that it's a firm
  • 01:04:14.290 --> 01:04:16.030
  • foundation, sooner or later, and
  • 01:04:16.030 --> 01:04:17.200
  • it might take many, many years,
  • 01:04:17.200 --> 01:04:19.280
  • but that person is gonna
  • 01:04:19.280 --> 01:04:22.100
  • be sinking in sand, and then
  • 01:04:22.100 --> 01:04:23.090
  • they'll see that you're solid,
  • 01:04:23.090 --> 01:04:24.190
  • and they're gonna figure it out
  • 01:04:24.190 --> 01:04:25.260
  • sooner or later.
  • 01:04:25.260 --> 01:04:26.190
  • So I just think, never leave
  • 01:04:26.190 --> 01:04:28.060
  • your post.
  • 01:04:28.060 --> 01:04:29.060
  • - Bobbie: Can I just add
  • 01:04:29.060 --> 01:04:30.000
  • something?
  • 01:04:30.000 --> 01:04:31.020
  • We've all taken over, Brian.
  • 01:04:31.020 --> 01:04:31.280
  • If you're bold enough in the
  • 01:04:31.280 --> 01:04:33.120
  • room to put your hand up because
  • 01:04:33.120 --> 01:04:34.280
  • we're amongst friends and say,
  • 01:04:34.280 --> 01:04:36.130
  • "You know what?
  • 01:04:36.130 --> 01:04:38.140
  • These people are in my life."
  • 01:04:38.140 --> 01:04:40.010
  • Just put your hand up
  • 01:04:40.010 --> 01:04:40.260
  • for 1 second.
  • 01:04:40.260 --> 01:04:42.230
  • Just, let's just change our
  • 01:04:42.230 --> 01:04:43.280
  • stance and our attitude.
  • 01:04:43.280 --> 01:04:44.280
  • And say, instead of,
  • 01:04:44.280 --> 01:04:45.280
  • "My husband's not a Christian,"
  • 01:04:45.280 --> 01:04:47.090
  • it's just like, "My husband's
  • 01:04:47.090 --> 01:04:48.120
  • not a believer yet."
  • 01:04:48.120 --> 01:04:50.000
  • So begin to pray, like,
  • 01:04:50.000 --> 01:04:52.190
  • "He's not a believer yet.
  • 01:04:52.190 --> 01:04:53.290
  • He's on this journey.
  • 01:04:53.290 --> 01:04:55.100
  • It's this journey home."
  • 01:04:55.100 --> 01:04:56.110
  • So you know what?
  • 01:04:56.110 --> 01:04:57.050
  • Let's just, okay,
  • 01:04:57.050 --> 01:04:58.230
  • "Father in heaven,
  • 01:04:58.230 --> 01:04:59.250
  • help him to believe.
  • 01:04:59.250 --> 01:05:02.020
  • Holy Spirit,
  • 01:05:02.020 --> 01:05:03.100
  • help him to believe.
  • 01:05:03.100 --> 01:05:04.130
  • Help me to help him believe."
  • 01:05:04.130 --> 01:05:06.200
  • Just--
  • 01:05:06.200 --> 01:05:08.020
  • - Brian: What if he doesn't
  • 01:05:08.020 --> 01:05:08.250
  • let you go to church?
  • 01:05:08.250 --> 01:05:09.230
  • What if he doesn't let you
  • 01:05:09.230 --> 01:05:10.170
  • tithe or give?
  • 01:05:10.200 --> 01:05:13.200
  • - Gary: Well, Brian,
  • 01:05:13.200 --> 01:05:15.030
  • I think that--that's the,
  • 01:05:15.030 --> 01:05:16.070
  • it comes back to, can I say,
  • 01:05:16.070 --> 01:05:18.050
  • it comes back to, I--
  • 01:05:18.050 --> 01:05:19.120
  • it's, relax.
  • 01:05:19.120 --> 01:05:22.070
  • Just relax, and God is in this.
  • 01:05:23.180 --> 01:05:26.180
  • - Bobbie: Our local Sisterhood,
  • 01:05:26.180 --> 01:05:27.290
  • our Thursday Sisterhood,
  • 01:05:27.290 --> 01:05:29.090
  • is full of women who come,
  • 01:05:29.150 --> 01:05:32.150
  • Thursday is their church
  • 01:05:32.150 --> 01:05:34.090
  • because they can't
  • 01:05:34.090 --> 01:05:35.270
  • come on the weekend,
  • 01:05:35.270 --> 01:05:37.110
  • and it's perfect.
  • 01:05:37.110 --> 01:05:38.250
  • And with time, you watch
  • 01:05:38.250 --> 01:05:39.250
  • the Holy Spirit turn it around.
  • 01:05:39.250 --> 01:05:41.060
  • - Bobbie: And young people
  • 01:05:41.060 --> 01:05:42.070
  • who come to Youth.
  • 01:05:42.070 --> 01:05:43.030
  • They're not allowed to come
  • 01:05:43.030 --> 01:05:44.000
  • to church, but they are
  • 01:05:44.000 --> 01:05:45.090
  • allowed to come to youth.
  • 01:05:45.090 --> 01:05:46.180
  • - Joel A'Bell: That was me.
  • 01:05:46.180 --> 01:05:47.250
  • - Robert: I just say to people
  • 01:05:47.250 --> 01:05:49.030
  • when they often come to me
  • 01:05:49.030 --> 01:05:50.090
  • and say, "Well, what do I do?
  • 01:05:50.090 --> 01:05:51.050
  • A family member is not
  • 01:05:51.050 --> 01:05:52.100
  • a believer."
  • 01:05:52.100 --> 01:05:53.210
  • And I say, "Well, just be the
  • 01:05:53.210 --> 01:05:54.170
  • best sister, the best wife, the
  • 01:05:54.170 --> 01:05:56.040
  • best mother, the best brother,
  • 01:05:56.040 --> 01:05:57.190
  • the best son, that you can be,
  • 01:05:57.190 --> 01:06:00.040
  • and they will be changed."
  • 01:06:00.040 --> 01:06:01.080
  • 'Cause I did it all wrong.
  • 01:06:01.080 --> 01:06:03.090
  • I became a Christian and I, with
  • 01:06:03.090 --> 01:06:05.110
  • zeal and passion and stupidity,
  • 01:06:06.110 --> 01:06:09.110
  • went home and told everybody
  • 01:06:09.190 --> 01:06:12.190
  • that they were out of step
  • 01:06:12.190 --> 01:06:15.110
  • with God.
  • 01:06:15.110 --> 01:06:16.100
  • And some of my family said,
  • 01:06:16.100 --> 01:06:17.200
  • "I'm never gonna talk to you
  • 01:06:17.200 --> 01:06:18.210
  • again," literally.
  • 01:06:18.210 --> 01:06:20.180
  • And eventually, I backed off.
  • 01:06:20.180 --> 01:06:22.170
  • And then one day, I'm preaching
  • 01:06:22.170 --> 01:06:23.280
  • and my sister becomes
  • 01:06:23.280 --> 01:06:24.270
  • a Christian.
  • 01:06:24.270 --> 01:06:26.100
  • And I say, "Why now?"
  • 01:06:26.100 --> 01:06:27.210
  • And she said,
  • 01:06:27.210 --> 01:06:28.290
  • this is what she said.
  • 01:06:28.290 --> 01:06:30.070
  • She said, "Because you are not
  • 01:06:30.070 --> 01:06:32.000
  • the brother I was brought up
  • 01:06:32.000 --> 01:06:34.020
  • with.
  • 01:06:34.020 --> 01:06:36.060
  • Your life has changed.
  • 01:06:36.060 --> 01:06:37.140
  • That's what convinced me."
  • 01:06:37.140 --> 01:06:39.040
  • - Brian: Stayin' on the rock.
  • 01:06:39.040 --> 01:06:39.290
  • - Joel Houston: On the back of
  • 01:06:39.290 --> 01:06:40.270
  • that, like, we've given out
  • 01:06:40.270 --> 01:06:42.050
  • so many of the,
  • 01:06:42.050 --> 01:06:44.050
  • our Sisterhood Bibles to, like,
  • 01:06:44.050 --> 01:06:45.050
  • men in New York City,
  • 01:06:45.050 --> 01:06:46.180
  • just all kinds of people.
  • 01:06:46.180 --> 01:06:47.160
  • - Carl: It was gettin' awkward.
  • 01:06:47.160 --> 01:06:48.130
  • - Joel Houston: It was.
  • 01:06:48.130 --> 01:06:49.120
  • Literally, the back of the
  • 01:06:49.120 --> 01:06:50.170
  • church car is piled high,
  • 01:06:50.170 --> 01:06:51.110
  • and it's just, it's gone.
  • 01:06:51.110 --> 01:06:52.090
  • And it just felt like we just
  • 01:06:52.090 --> 01:06:53.060
  • give 'em to everybody.
  • 01:06:53.060 --> 01:06:54.010
  • So, like, the second thing
  • 01:06:54.010 --> 01:06:55.060
  • is this.
  • 01:06:55.060 --> 01:06:56.050
  • Carl is one of the most,
  • 01:06:56.050 --> 01:06:57.260
  • I've never seen anybody
  • 01:06:57.260 --> 01:06:59.270
  • give more Bibles away.
  • 01:06:59.270 --> 01:07:01.180
  • Like, he will sneak into clubs
  • 01:07:01.180 --> 01:07:04.010
  • with a package that looks like
  • 01:07:04.010 --> 01:07:05.040
  • a drug deal, and it's, like,
  • 01:07:05.040 --> 01:07:06.140
  • wrapped up intentionally
  • 01:07:06.140 --> 01:07:07.190
  • like that, and drop it off
  • 01:07:07.190 --> 01:07:08.220
  • with somebody, and walk out.
  • 01:07:08.220 --> 01:07:10.110
  • And everybody just thinks he's
  • 01:07:10.110 --> 01:07:11.140
  • a drug dealer, but he's droppin'
  • 01:07:11.140 --> 01:07:12.200
  • off Bibles with, no,
  • 01:07:12.200 --> 01:07:14.070
  • it's awesome.
  • 01:07:14.070 --> 01:07:15.070
  • But the one thing I love
  • 01:07:15.070 --> 01:07:16.060
  • is I've seen Carl do this over
  • 01:07:16.060 --> 01:07:18.010
  • the years, and he'll tear
  • 01:07:18.010 --> 01:07:20.050
  • the front page out of the Bible.
  • 01:07:20.050 --> 01:07:21.150
  • It's not--just the front page.
  • 01:07:21.290 --> 01:07:24.290
  • And he'll, with a note that
  • 01:07:24.290 --> 01:07:27.000
  • he'll have written for somebody
  • 01:07:27.000 --> 01:07:29.140
  • that he has access to now,
  • 01:07:29.140 --> 01:07:30.200
  • but waiting for the right time
  • 01:07:30.200 --> 01:07:31.290
  • to give a Bible to.
  • 01:07:31.290 --> 01:07:33.180
  • He'll write the note on it, and
  • 01:07:33.180 --> 01:07:35.010
  • it will sit on the front page of
  • 01:07:35.010 --> 01:07:36.030
  • the car, and every time anyone
  • 01:07:36.030 --> 01:07:37.040
  • ever gets in the car,
  • 01:07:37.040 --> 01:07:38.000
  • we would pray for it, and
  • 01:07:38.000 --> 01:07:39.170
  • just wait for the right time.
  • 01:07:39.170 --> 01:07:40.190
  • And it's fascinating
  • 01:07:40.190 --> 01:07:43.020
  • how God opens doors,
  • 01:07:43.020 --> 01:07:45.290
  • and how his timing is perfect.
  • 01:07:45.290 --> 01:07:47.140
  • And it just, I know on the back
  • 01:07:47.140 --> 01:07:48.240
  • of everything that you're
  • 01:07:48.240 --> 01:07:49.200
  • sayin', like, we want everything
  • 01:07:49.200 --> 01:07:50.270
  • so now.
  • 01:07:50.270 --> 01:07:51.260
  • And God's story is
  • 01:07:51.260 --> 01:07:52.200
  • so much better.
  • 01:07:52.200 --> 01:07:54.060
  • His timing's always better.
  • 01:07:54.060 --> 01:07:55.280
  • And I just know that,
  • 01:07:55.280 --> 01:07:57.060
  • I think the power of prayer,
  • 01:07:57.060 --> 01:07:57.270
  • and just understanding that.
  • 01:07:57.270 --> 01:07:58.230
  • I just thought it was a cool
  • 01:07:58.230 --> 01:07:59.180
  • story, but do that maybe.
  • 01:07:59.180 --> 01:08:00.220
  • - Brian: So let me ask my
  • 01:08:05.280 --> 01:08:06.280
  • two boys something.
  • 01:08:06.280 --> 01:08:08.060
  • I got married at 23.
  • 01:08:08.060 --> 01:08:09.290
  • Ben got married at 23.
  • 01:08:09.290 --> 01:08:11.170
  • And Joel got married at 32.
  • 01:08:11.170 --> 01:08:13.230
  • First question to you is, what
  • 01:08:13.230 --> 01:08:14.220
  • was the best thing about
  • 01:08:14.220 --> 01:08:15.210
  • getting married young?
  • 01:08:15.210 --> 01:08:17.090
  • We don't wanna know the worst.
  • 01:08:17.090 --> 01:08:18.120
  • We just wanna know the best.
  • 01:08:18.120 --> 01:08:20.030
  • And what was the best thing
  • 01:08:20.030 --> 01:08:20.270
  • - Brian: So let me ask my
  • 01:08:33.070 --> 01:08:34.050
  • two boys something.
  • 01:08:34.050 --> 01:08:35.130
  • I got married at 23.
  • 01:08:35.130 --> 01:08:37.060
  • It was 3 days after
  • 01:08:37.060 --> 01:08:37.290
  • my 23rd birthday
  • 01:08:37.290 --> 01:08:39.040
  • and just after Bobbie's
  • 01:08:39.040 --> 01:08:39.280
  • 20th birthday.
  • 01:08:39.280 --> 01:08:42.040
  • Ben got married at 23,
  • 01:08:42.040 --> 01:08:43.270
  • 2 or 3 days, 22.
  • 01:08:43.270 --> 01:08:46.110
  • And Joel got married at 32.
  • 01:08:49.100 --> 01:08:52.100
  • Twenty-two, thirty-two, but you
  • 01:08:52.100 --> 01:08:54.140
  • were just about twenty-three.
  • 01:08:54.140 --> 01:08:56.110
  • So, one question each, short
  • 01:08:56.110 --> 01:08:58.040
  • answer 'cause time
  • 01:08:58.040 --> 01:08:59.050
  • is going to pass.
  • 01:08:59.050 --> 01:09:01.060
  • First question to you is,
  • 01:09:01.060 --> 01:09:02.040
  • what was the best thing about
  • 01:09:02.040 --> 01:09:03.030
  • getting married young?
  • 01:09:03.030 --> 01:09:04.240
  • We don't wanna know the worst.
  • 01:09:04.240 --> 01:09:05.190
  • We just wanna know the best.
  • 01:09:05.190 --> 01:09:07.200
  • And what was the best thing
  • 01:09:07.200 --> 01:09:08.140
  • about getting married old?
  • 01:09:08.140 --> 01:09:11.110
  • - Ben: The thing with Lucille
  • 01:09:20.250 --> 01:09:23.040
  • and I, we met so young.
  • 01:09:24.060 --> 01:09:27.060
  • We were just teenagers that
  • 01:09:27.060 --> 01:09:28.240
  • were gettin' in trouble
  • 01:09:28.240 --> 01:09:29.180
  • in the youth ministry.
  • 01:09:33.050 --> 01:09:36.050
  • - Brian: Awkward pause.
  • 01:09:38.150 --> 01:09:41.150
  • - Ben: Anyway, that's what
  • 01:09:41.150 --> 01:09:42.140
  • the awkward pause was.
  • 01:09:42.140 --> 01:09:43.120
  • Lucille and I met young.
  • 01:09:43.120 --> 01:09:45.190
  • We knew we wanted
  • 01:09:45.190 --> 01:09:47.010
  • to get married.
  • 01:09:47.010 --> 01:09:47.290
  • We loved each other
  • 01:09:47.290 --> 01:09:49.090
  • wholeheartedly.
  • 01:09:49.090 --> 01:09:51.080
  • You know, we were young, naïve,
  • 01:09:51.080 --> 01:09:52.200
  • all of that.
  • 01:09:52.200 --> 01:09:53.220
  • But at the same time,
  • 01:09:53.220 --> 01:09:54.290
  • we're like, "Why?
  • 01:09:54.290 --> 01:09:55.260
  • What was the point of waiting?"
  • 01:09:55.260 --> 01:09:57.020
  • You know, like,
  • 01:09:57.020 --> 01:09:58.050
  • we loved each other.
  • 01:09:58.050 --> 01:10:00.050
  • You know, "Why not?"
  • 01:10:00.050 --> 01:10:01.050
  • So we got married young.
  • 01:10:01.050 --> 01:10:02.030
  • I think the best thing
  • 01:10:02.030 --> 01:10:03.000
  • that we often talk about now
  • 01:10:03.000 --> 01:10:04.290
  • is that we look at a lot
  • 01:10:04.290 --> 01:10:07.000
  • of other young people,
  • 01:10:07.000 --> 01:10:08.230
  • maybe in their early to mid-20s,
  • 01:10:08.230 --> 01:10:10.280
  • and look at, you know,
  • 01:10:10.280 --> 01:10:12.130
  • some of the life and the scene,
  • 01:10:12.130 --> 01:10:13.260
  • especially being now in a city
  • 01:10:13.260 --> 01:10:15.010
  • like LA, and we're almost
  • 01:10:15.010 --> 01:10:16.240
  • grateful to God that we didn't
  • 01:10:16.240 --> 01:10:19.020
  • have to go through what so many
  • 01:10:19.020 --> 01:10:21.050
  • others do, that sort of life
  • 01:10:21.060 --> 01:10:24.060
  • of pursuit, life of chasing,
  • 01:10:24.060 --> 01:10:25.270
  • life of all of that sorta stuff.
  • 01:10:25.270 --> 01:10:27.270
  • So to answer your question, you
  • 01:10:28.000 --> 01:10:31.000
  • know, the best thing for us was
  • 01:10:31.000 --> 01:10:32.060
  • exactly that, is that we found
  • 01:10:32.060 --> 01:10:33.260
  • each other young.
  • 01:10:33.260 --> 01:10:34.260
  • We've grown up together.
  • 01:10:34.260 --> 01:10:36.090
  • We've, you know,
  • 01:10:36.090 --> 01:10:37.230
  • experienced life together.
  • 01:10:37.230 --> 01:10:39.260
  • And we didn't have to go through
  • 01:10:39.260 --> 01:10:41.230
  • a lot of the stuff that other
  • 01:10:41.230 --> 01:10:43.160
  • single people that took longer
  • 01:10:43.160 --> 01:10:46.130
  • to get married had
  • 01:10:46.130 --> 01:10:48.090
  • to go through.
  • 01:10:48.090 --> 01:10:50.110
  • Joel?
  • 01:10:50.110 --> 01:10:51.060
  • - Brian: And--
  • 01:10:51.060 --> 01:10:53.010
  • - all: [laughing]
  • 01:10:53.010 --> 01:10:54.050
  • - Bobbie: Yeah,
  • 01:10:54.050 --> 01:10:55.000
  • look at Joel's body language.
  • 01:10:55.000 --> 01:10:56.030
  • He's leaning off the couch.
  • 01:10:56.030 --> 01:10:57.150
  • [laughing]
  • 01:10:57.150 --> 01:11:00.100
  • - Ben: He's like this.
  • 01:11:00.100 --> 01:11:01.180
  • - Brian: And of course,
  • 01:11:01.180 --> 01:11:02.130
  • you gave us three grandchildren
  • 01:11:02.130 --> 01:11:03.160
  • before--
  • 01:11:03.160 --> 01:11:04.160
  • - Joel A'Bell: He even got
  • 01:11:04.160 --> 01:11:05.290
  • married.
  • 01:11:05.290 --> 01:11:07.060
  • - Ben: Yeah.
  • 01:11:07.060 --> 01:11:08.080
  • - Bobbie: [laughing]
  • 01:11:08.080 --> 01:11:09.160
  • - Brian: Joel?
  • 01:11:09.160 --> 01:11:10.130
  • Stand up for the 32,
  • 01:11:10.130 --> 01:11:11.140
  • 33-year-olds.
  • 01:11:11.140 --> 01:11:12.290
  • - Joel Houston: I--all I would
  • 01:11:13.040 --> 01:11:16.040
  • say is the best thing about
  • 01:11:16.040 --> 01:11:18.020
  • getting old was that,
  • 01:11:18.020 --> 01:11:20.230
  • and getting married old,
  • 01:11:21.050 --> 01:11:24.050
  • is not going bald, wait.
  • 01:11:24.050 --> 01:11:26.230
  • No, it's--is, no, truthfully,
  • 01:11:27.130 --> 01:11:30.130
  • I, when I got married,
  • 01:11:30.170 --> 01:11:33.170
  • I was so grateful
  • 01:11:33.170 --> 01:11:35.250
  • that I didn't get married
  • 01:11:35.250 --> 01:11:37.150
  • any sooner because I knew
  • 01:11:38.160 --> 01:11:41.160
  • I'd met the right person,
  • 01:11:41.160 --> 01:11:43.010
  • and I'm glad I didn't settle
  • 01:11:43.010 --> 01:11:43.280
  • for anything less.
  • 01:11:43.280 --> 01:11:46.010
  • - Brian: And I think that's
  • 01:11:46.010 --> 01:11:46.280
  • what it comes down to,
  • 01:11:46.280 --> 01:11:47.240
  • is the right person.
  • 01:11:47.240 --> 01:11:48.240
  • - Joel Houston: And you know
  • 01:11:48.240 --> 01:11:49.270
  • what?
  • 01:11:49.270 --> 01:11:51.260
  • I used to always, you know, many
  • 01:11:51.260 --> 01:11:53.230
  • a lonely night, I would sit
  • 01:11:53.230 --> 01:11:55.120
  • there and just go, "This will
  • 01:11:55.120 --> 01:11:57.220
  • all make sense one day."
  • 01:11:57.220 --> 01:11:59.240
  • Because I'm not, I just, I knew
  • 01:11:59.240 --> 01:12:01.150
  • in my heart I wasn't gonna
  • 01:12:01.150 --> 01:12:02.140
  • settle.
  • 01:12:02.140 --> 01:12:03.090
  • And it really did,
  • 01:12:03.090 --> 01:12:04.250
  • and I'm grateful for it.
  • 01:12:04.250 --> 01:12:05.230
  • And the other side of it that
  • 01:12:05.230 --> 01:12:06.250
  • is awesome is that I got,
  • 01:12:06.250 --> 01:12:09.120
  • I had the freedom to do so much
  • 01:12:09.120 --> 01:12:11.100
  • in my life, so much growing,
  • 01:12:11.100 --> 01:12:14.010
  • so much learning,
  • 01:12:14.010 --> 01:12:14.200
  • so much ministry wise,
  • 01:12:14.200 --> 01:12:15.270
  • so many things just with
  • 01:12:15.270 --> 01:12:17.250
  • a real sense of freedom
  • 01:12:17.250 --> 01:12:19.170
  • during those years,
  • 01:12:19.170 --> 01:12:21.170
  • that I don't know if I could've
  • 01:12:21.170 --> 01:12:22.290
  • ever done had I been married
  • 01:12:22.290 --> 01:12:24.090
  • to maybe even someone younger.
  • 01:12:24.090 --> 01:12:26.210
  • Because the thing about Esther
  • 01:12:26.210 --> 01:12:28.060
  • is, she's so mature,
  • 01:12:28.060 --> 01:12:29.280
  • so independent, she'd lived
  • 01:12:29.280 --> 01:12:31.060
  • a lot of life even for a young,
  • 01:12:31.060 --> 01:12:33.030
  • she's not, she's 28 or 29, but--
  • 01:12:34.240 --> 01:12:37.240
  • - Brian: Which, Joel?
  • 01:12:37.240 --> 01:12:39.190
  • - Joel Houston: I felt like
  • 01:12:39.190 --> 01:12:40.110
  • I was makin' her sound old,
  • 01:12:40.110 --> 01:12:41.060
  • but she's not.
  • 01:12:41.060 --> 01:12:42.170
  • - Brian: No, the question is,
  • 01:12:42.170 --> 01:12:44.040
  • it's your wife, and you don't
  • 01:12:44.040 --> 01:12:45.070
  • whether she's 28 or 29.
  • 01:12:45.070 --> 01:12:46.240
  • - Bobbie: [laughing]
  • 01:12:48.280 --> 01:12:51.280
  • - Joel Houston: I've got a lot
  • 01:12:51.280 --> 01:12:52.220
  • to learn.
  • 01:12:52.230 --> 01:12:55.230
  • No but, you know,
  • 01:12:55.230 --> 01:12:57.040
  • I'm grateful that, you know,
  • 01:12:57.040 --> 01:12:58.160
  • there's a maturity about her
  • 01:12:58.160 --> 01:12:59.270
  • as well that just,
  • 01:12:59.270 --> 01:13:01.240
  • it's really helped, you know,
  • 01:13:01.240 --> 01:13:03.100
  • for us, for me to step into
  • 01:13:03.100 --> 01:13:04.140
  • this next season of life
  • 01:13:04.140 --> 01:13:05.260
  • and what I know God
  • 01:13:05.260 --> 01:13:06.250
  • has called me to.
  • 01:13:06.250 --> 01:13:08.060
  • I mean, you know,
  • 01:13:08.060 --> 01:13:09.030
  • it takes a certain level of--
  • 01:13:09.030 --> 01:13:10.170
  • I mean, I've been away months
  • 01:13:10.170 --> 01:13:11.210
  • and months over the last little
  • 01:13:11.210 --> 01:13:12.200
  • while, and that's not easy
  • 01:13:12.200 --> 01:13:14.270
  • for anybody.
  • 01:13:14.270 --> 01:13:17.000
  • And so I think the way that
  • 01:13:17.000 --> 01:13:18.140
  • she has been, her journey,
  • 01:13:19.100 --> 01:13:22.100
  • where it led her to be able
  • 01:13:22.100 --> 01:13:22.280
  • to release me to do that
  • 01:13:22.280 --> 01:13:24.140
  • is God breathed,
  • 01:13:24.140 --> 01:13:25.270
  • and it's divine.
  • 01:13:25.270 --> 01:13:26.280
  • And that's worth more than,
  • 01:13:26.280 --> 01:13:28.250
  • you know, gettin' married
  • 01:13:28.250 --> 01:13:31.000
  • at 23 to me.
  • 01:13:35.000 --> 01:13:38.000
  • - Bobbie: Awesome.
  • 01:13:39.040 --> 01:13:42.040
  • Did you enjoy that?
  • 01:13:43.020 --> 01:13:46.020
  • Skylines and crowded streets
  • 01:14:12.180 --> 01:14:15.080
  • Calling my attention
  • 01:14:16.290 --> 01:14:19.290
  • The limelight
  • 01:14:19.290 --> 01:14:21.020
  • And empty dreams
  • 01:14:21.020 --> 01:14:22.270
  • Grieving my affections
  • 01:14:24.100 --> 01:14:27.100
  • But there is a perfect voice
  • 01:14:28.080 --> 01:14:31.080
  • Waiting above the noise
  • 01:14:31.270 --> 01:14:34.270
  • Jesus, my only choice
  • 01:14:34.270 --> 01:14:37.230
  • When all the lights
  • 01:14:37.230 --> 01:14:39.070
  • Are screaming
  • 01:14:41.060 --> 01:14:44.060
  • - female: I am part of a global
  • 01:14:44.060 --> 01:14:45.040
  • family--
  • 01:14:45.040 --> 01:14:46.150
  • - female: A Sisterhood--
  • 01:14:46.150 --> 01:14:47.150
  • - female: A vast tapestry
  • 01:14:47.150 --> 01:14:48.170
  • of ages, cultures,
  • 01:14:48.170 --> 01:14:50.070
  • and walks of life--
  • 01:14:50.070 --> 01:14:51.170
  • - female: A collective of women
  • 01:14:51.170 --> 01:14:52.260
  • bringing out the God colors
  • 01:14:52.260 --> 01:14:54.010
  • on the earth--
  • 01:14:54.010 --> 01:14:55.010
  • - female: Flourishing in our
  • 01:14:55.010 --> 01:14:55.280
  • place of planting--
  • 01:14:55.280 --> 01:14:57.040
  • - female: Coworkers
  • 01:14:57.040 --> 01:14:58.000
  • in the field--
  • 01:14:58.000 --> 01:14:58.280
  • - female: Welcoming
  • 01:14:58.280 --> 01:14:59.260
  • the broken and discarded--
  • 01:14:59.260 --> 01:15:00.250
  • - female: Radiating light--
  • 01:15:00.250 --> 01:15:02.080
  • - female: In the dark places--
  • 01:15:02.080 --> 01:15:03.270
  • - female: A growing movement
  • 01:15:03.270 --> 01:15:04.250
  • of women across the earth
  • 01:15:04.250 --> 01:15:05.260
  • together--
  • 01:15:05.260 --> 01:15:06.280
  • - female: Found in his story.
  • 01:15:06.280 --> 01:15:08.040
  • - female: Found.
  • 01:15:08.040 --> 01:15:09.020
  • - female: Found.
  • 01:15:09.020 --> 01:15:10.160
  • [music]
  • 01:15:23.070 --> 01:15:26.070
  • And find the clarity to life
  • 01:15:26.120 --> 01:15:29.120
  • The world
  • 01:15:29.120 --> 01:15:30.160
  • And all the colors rage
  • 01:15:30.160 --> 01:15:33.010
  • But I'm not gonna look away
  • 01:15:33.010 --> 01:15:35.240
  • - female announcer: Don't miss
  • 01:15:54.150 --> 01:15:55.100
  • out on the opportunity
  • 01:15:55.100 --> 01:15:56.050
  • to experience Colour Conference
  • 01:15:56.050 --> 01:15:57.060
  • for yourself.
  • 01:15:57.060 --> 01:15:58.060
  • Join thousands of women
  • 01:15:58.060 --> 01:15:59.040
  • of all ages, nations,
  • 01:15:59.040 --> 01:16:00.090
  • and backgrounds, gathered
  • 01:16:00.090 --> 01:16:01.180
  • and united in friendship
  • 01:16:01.180 --> 01:16:02.240
  • - Bobbie: I pray that
  • 01:16:07.150 --> 01:16:08.170
  • the church of Jesus Christ,
  • 01:16:08.170 --> 01:16:09.120
  • that in our pursuit of justice,
  • 01:16:09.120 --> 01:16:11.010
  • and in our pursuit
  • 01:16:11.010 --> 01:16:12.010
  • of making wrong right,
  • 01:16:12.010 --> 01:16:13.120
  • that we never lose sight
  • 01:16:13.120 --> 01:16:14.200
  • of who it's about.
  • 01:16:14.200 --> 01:16:15.240
  • I pray that we can always point
  • 01:16:15.240 --> 01:16:17.270
  • [music]
  • 01:16:26.030 --> 01:16:29.030
  • - announcer: To find out more
  • 01:16:29.030 --> 01:16:29.270
  • and to register
  • 01:16:29.270 --> 01:16:30.220
  • for Colour Conference,
  • 01:16:30.220 --> 01:16:31.180