Viewer's Questions on Family | Better Together | TBN

Viewer's Questions on Family | Better Together

Watch Viewer's Questions on Family | Better Together
August 16, 2019
25:33

From raising teens to broken relationships, we're tackling your questions about family. | TBN Prayer Line: 1-888-731-1000

Closed captions

Viewer's Questions on Family | Better Together

Show timecode
Hide timecode
  • - You asked, and today,
  • 00:00:00.230 --> 00:00:01.290
  • we're answering your questions about family.
  • 00:00:01.290 --> 00:00:03.290
  • From raising teens to broken relationships.
  • 00:00:03.290 --> 00:00:06.110
  • Come on, let's talk about it.
  • 00:00:06.110 --> 00:00:08.020
  • (soft cheerful music)
  • 00:00:08.020 --> 00:00:11.070
  • So this week, we're gonna be taking a lot
  • 00:00:35.010 --> 00:00:36.190
  • of the questions off of Instagram
  • 00:00:36.190 --> 00:00:38.170
  • that our followers are asking.
  • 00:00:38.170 --> 00:00:40.100
  • There are so many good ones!
  • 00:00:40.100 --> 00:00:42.080
  • Okay, here's Alexa.
  • 00:00:42.080 --> 00:00:44.060
  • She writes, "I am a true believer in Christ,
  • 00:00:44.060 --> 00:00:46.250
  • "but my significant other isn't quite there yet.
  • 00:00:46.250 --> 00:00:49.180
  • "How do I cope and stay positive in this relationship?
  • 00:00:49.180 --> 00:00:53.160
  • "I feel like I'm walking this journey alone,
  • 00:00:53.160 --> 00:00:56.060
  • "and I would love for him to walk it with me
  • 00:00:56.060 --> 00:00:58.130
  • "for our kids and our family."
  • 00:00:58.130 --> 00:01:00.210
  • - Lisa said something earlier,
  • 00:01:00.210 --> 00:01:02.160
  • how God loves her husband more than she could ever love him.
  • 00:01:02.160 --> 00:01:07.160
  • And if she just continues to cultivate
  • 00:01:08.190 --> 00:01:12.020
  • her relationship with the Lord,
  • 00:01:12.020 --> 00:01:13.290
  • and love her husband well,
  • 00:01:13.290 --> 00:01:16.250
  • God will do the rest.
  • 00:01:16.250 --> 00:01:18.220
  • - You know, I was reading, in fact I marked it.
  • 00:01:18.220 --> 00:01:21.060
  • Let me get my glasses.
  • 00:01:21.060 --> 00:01:22.190
  • I was reading this morning, in 1 Peter 3, it says,
  • 00:01:22.190 --> 00:01:25.090
  • "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands--"
  • 00:01:25.090 --> 00:01:28.220
  • - I hate this, I hate this verse!
  • 00:01:28.220 --> 00:01:30.060
  • (laughing)
  • 00:01:30.060 --> 00:01:31.140
  • - "That even if some do not obey the word, they,
  • 00:01:31.140 --> 00:01:34.290
  • "without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives."
  • 00:01:34.290 --> 00:01:39.290
  • And I believe that is treating them
  • 00:01:42.280 --> 00:01:45.090
  • as Christ would treat them.
  • 00:01:45.090 --> 00:01:47.010
  • When it says that, even in that gentle and quiet spirit,
  • 00:01:47.010 --> 00:01:51.120
  • that your conduct says it all.
  • 00:01:51.120 --> 00:01:55.020
  • You don't have to use words,
  • 00:01:55.020 --> 00:01:56.210
  • but your sweet conduct,
  • 00:01:56.210 --> 00:01:59.140
  • your quiet, gentle conduct, which God loves.
  • 00:01:59.140 --> 00:02:03.210
  • And you know, I read that.
  • 00:02:03.210 --> 00:02:05.160
  • It was like it just spoke out loud, which God loves,
  • 00:02:05.160 --> 00:02:09.080
  • and I thought, man, if God loves that,
  • 00:02:09.080 --> 00:02:11.060
  • why wouldn't you do it?
  • 00:02:11.060 --> 00:02:12.280
  • - [Cece] But you can't do it in your own strength.
  • 00:02:12.280 --> 00:02:15.240
  • - No, I cannot be quiet! (laughing)
  • 00:02:15.240 --> 00:02:19.080
  • - No, not in your own strength.
  • 00:02:19.080 --> 00:02:20.240
  • - [Laurie] And gentle, in your own strength.
  • 00:02:20.240 --> 00:02:22.170
  • - But through the Holy Spirit, you can.
  • 00:02:22.170 --> 00:02:24.180
  • - By the conduct. - [Cece] Yes, it's awesome.
  • 00:02:24.180 --> 00:02:26.270
  • - I think, too, that was one thing
  • 00:02:26.270 --> 00:02:28.210
  • I learned in my marriage.
  • 00:02:28.210 --> 00:02:30.070
  • Like, when I would try to fix Robert, I would fail.
  • 00:02:30.070 --> 00:02:33.150
  • I can't fix him.
  • 00:02:33.150 --> 00:02:34.290
  • But once I started taking it to the Holy Spirit,
  • 00:02:34.290 --> 00:02:37.030
  • I'm like, he's a man of God, he has a relationship
  • 00:02:37.030 --> 00:02:39.190
  • with the Holy Spirit, so I'm gonna pray,
  • 00:02:39.190 --> 00:02:42.050
  • and like, correct him, he hears your voice, or correct me.
  • 00:02:42.050 --> 00:02:45.190
  • And I think the Holy Spirit does a way better job
  • 00:02:45.190 --> 00:02:47.220
  • at correcting our spouses.
  • 00:02:47.220 --> 00:02:49.070
  • And so I think just putting it out there
  • 00:02:49.070 --> 00:02:51.270
  • before the Lord and just trusting God with your spouse.
  • 00:02:51.270 --> 00:02:54.070
  • - I love it, Lisa posted it the other day, she said,
  • 00:02:54.070 --> 00:02:56.260
  • "If he's not wearing diapers, you can't change him!"
  • 00:02:56.260 --> 00:02:59.010
  • - [Cece] Change him, I love that! (laughing)
  • 00:02:59.010 --> 00:03:00.270
  • - Because it's so hard to change another person,
  • 00:03:00.270 --> 00:03:03.290
  • and it's so much pressure.
  • 00:03:03.290 --> 00:03:05.130
  • - [Laurie] It's not our job!
  • 00:03:05.130 --> 00:03:06.190
  • - We're not in charge of it.
  • 00:03:06.190 --> 00:03:07.220
  • You're not in charge of him.
  • 00:03:07.220 --> 00:03:08.250
  • It's just an exercise in futility.
  • 00:03:08.250 --> 00:03:11.070
  • - Haven't we all tried to change
  • 00:03:11.070 --> 00:03:12.220
  • the person closest to us?
  • 00:03:12.220 --> 00:03:14.190
  • I mean, I know I'm a very good convincer.
  • 00:03:14.190 --> 00:03:17.070
  • I wanna convince you to do what I want you to do.
  • 00:03:17.070 --> 00:03:19.100
  • But the truth is, we're not that powerful,
  • 00:03:19.100 --> 00:03:21.150
  • and that's really been a hard lesson for me to get.
  • 00:03:21.150 --> 00:03:25.060
  • The fact that I am not powerful enough to change anybody.
  • 00:03:25.060 --> 00:03:28.230
  • And even God Himself.
  • 00:03:28.230 --> 00:03:30.220
  • You know, God operates with boundaries.
  • 00:03:30.220 --> 00:03:32.120
  • The Bible says in Revelations that He stands
  • 00:03:32.120 --> 00:03:34.060
  • at the door and He knocks.
  • 00:03:34.060 --> 00:03:36.100
  • He doesn't say, "If you don't open up,
  • 00:03:36.100 --> 00:03:38.020
  • "then I'm gonna barge in, I'm gonna change your life!"
  • 00:03:38.020 --> 00:03:39.250
  • He says, "If you open it, I'll come in.
  • 00:03:39.250 --> 00:03:41.250
  • "If you don't, I won't come in."
  • 00:03:41.250 --> 00:03:44.030
  • He respects our ability to make that decision.
  • 00:03:44.030 --> 00:03:47.030
  • I think sometimes, we act,
  • 00:03:47.030 --> 00:03:48.130
  • and we kind of violate people's free will
  • 00:03:48.130 --> 00:03:51.180
  • in order to try and change people around us.
  • 00:03:51.180 --> 00:03:53.190
  • And I think, you know, if God didn't do it,
  • 00:03:53.190 --> 00:03:56.060
  • then we shouldn't either.
  • 00:03:56.060 --> 00:03:57.050
  • We can step back and let people
  • 00:03:57.050 --> 00:03:58.290
  • be powerful and make their own choices.
  • 00:03:58.290 --> 00:04:00.220
  • So how do we influence people?
  • 00:04:00.220 --> 00:04:02.040
  • Well, we can't change people, but we can exemplify,
  • 00:04:02.040 --> 00:04:06.040
  • and influence people by the way that we live.
  • 00:04:06.040 --> 00:04:09.120
  • So if you're in the middle of it, trust God,
  • 00:04:09.120 --> 00:04:11.140
  • back away, separate, and say,
  • 00:04:11.140 --> 00:04:14.290
  • "God, if this is the one you want for me,
  • 00:04:14.290 --> 00:04:17.090
  • "you are the one who knows best for me.
  • 00:04:17.090 --> 00:04:20.070
  • "I'll separate, bring them to you,
  • 00:04:20.070 --> 00:04:22.160
  • "so that we can do this together."
  • 00:04:22.160 --> 00:04:24.100
  • But to have that moment, it's gonna take trust,
  • 00:04:24.100 --> 00:04:26.150
  • but God is faithful, and if He wants it to happen,
  • 00:04:26.150 --> 00:04:29.200
  • He'll make that happen.
  • 00:04:29.200 --> 00:04:31.040
  • But ultimately, I think this is where we get in the trouble.
  • 00:04:31.040 --> 00:04:33.240
  • The whole, it's my soulmate and this is the only one for me.
  • 00:04:33.240 --> 00:04:36.210
  • - Or I had sex with him.
  • 00:04:36.210 --> 00:04:38.040
  • - Yeah, or had sex with him.
  • 00:04:38.040 --> 00:04:39.210
  • We're elevating it, we're elevating them
  • 00:04:39.210 --> 00:04:41.010
  • above what God wants to do in our life.
  • 00:04:41.010 --> 00:04:44.040
  • And at the end of the day,
  • 00:04:44.040 --> 00:04:45.110
  • everything we do is eyes wide open.
  • 00:04:45.110 --> 00:04:48.010
  • We have choices.
  • 00:04:48.010 --> 00:04:49.150
  • There is not this, God made me marry them,
  • 00:04:49.150 --> 00:04:51.150
  • God made me have this or do this.
  • 00:04:51.150 --> 00:04:53.210
  • It's all of a sudden, because when the rubber
  • 00:04:53.210 --> 00:04:55.150
  • meets the road, then all of a sudden we go,
  • 00:04:55.150 --> 00:04:57.070
  • well, God made me marry them, so I'm powerless.
  • 00:04:57.070 --> 00:04:59.020
  • And what God wants to do is eyes wide openly make choices,
  • 00:04:59.020 --> 00:05:02.070
  • healthy choices for the life that we want to live,
  • 00:05:02.070 --> 00:05:04.120
  • according to what God wants what He has for us.
  • 00:05:04.120 --> 00:05:06.290
  • - And the Devil didn't make me do it either! (laughing)
  • 00:05:06.290 --> 00:05:08.140
  • - [Havilah] And the Devil didn't do it either,
  • 00:05:08.140 --> 00:05:09.280
  • he's not that powerful.
  • 00:05:09.280 --> 00:05:11.070
  • - And God has to talk to us
  • 00:05:11.070 --> 00:05:12.230
  • about He's actually already said.
  • 00:05:12.230 --> 00:05:14.070
  • Like, if somebody's praying about marrying somebody,
  • 00:05:14.070 --> 00:05:17.100
  • I really have prayed about it,
  • 00:05:17.100 --> 00:05:18.160
  • I prayed about it and I prayed about it,
  • 00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:20.030
  • and I really feel like I'm supposed to marry him.
  • 00:05:20.030 --> 00:05:22.240
  • Well, if the word is very clear
  • 00:05:22.240 --> 00:05:24.010
  • that you're not to be on a clear road,
  • 00:05:24.010 --> 00:05:25.220
  • there's some things you just don't need to pray about.
  • 00:05:25.220 --> 00:05:27.270
  • You can just submit to it.
  • 00:05:27.270 --> 00:05:29.160
  • And I know that's hard,
  • 00:05:29.160 --> 00:05:30.230
  • but it's exactly what Havilah said,
  • 00:05:30.230 --> 00:05:33.050
  • it's God saying, I want you to live life at your best.
  • 00:05:33.050 --> 00:05:34.270
  • I've created boundaries and healthy relationships for you.
  • 00:05:34.270 --> 00:05:39.000
  • - Okay, but what about the lady writer?
  • 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:41.090
  • - I love what Cece said.
  • 00:05:41.090 --> 00:05:43.100
  • We love them, we have kindness,
  • 00:05:43.100 --> 00:05:45.210
  • we don't try to change them.
  • 00:05:45.210 --> 00:05:48.160
  • So we continue to sow kindness and goodness,
  • 00:05:48.160 --> 00:05:51.100
  • and get down on your knees and say,
  • 00:05:51.100 --> 00:05:53.060
  • "God, I can't carry this, this is too much.
  • 00:05:53.060 --> 00:05:56.020
  • "I can't change this person.
  • 00:05:56.020 --> 00:05:57.130
  • "I'm surrendering this to you,
  • 00:05:57.130 --> 00:05:58.290
  • "and I know that you are gonna be active in their life.
  • 00:05:58.290 --> 00:06:02.150
  • "Because you, of course, want to lead them
  • 00:06:02.150 --> 00:06:04.160
  • "to a vibrant relationship with you."
  • 00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:07.050
  • So I'm just gonna be loving,
  • 00:06:07.050 --> 00:06:08.080
  • and I'm just gonna be kind.
  • 00:06:08.080 --> 00:06:09.080
  • - And the love of Jesus, amen.
  • 00:06:09.080 --> 00:06:10.240
  • - [Women] Amen.
  • 00:06:10.240 --> 00:06:12.010
  • - Okay, Callina says, "How do I share my faith
  • 00:06:12.010 --> 00:06:14.270
  • "with family members who are Prodigals,
  • 00:06:14.270 --> 00:06:16.280
  • "or outspoken atheists?
  • 00:06:16.280 --> 00:06:18.180
  • "And how can I express God's love to them
  • 00:06:18.180 --> 00:06:21.000
  • "even though they don't wanna talk about faith?"
  • 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:23.290
  • - Think about this, my dad was an atheist,
  • 00:06:23.290 --> 00:06:25.180
  • and he said on his college campus,
  • 00:06:25.180 --> 00:06:27.190
  • he would find Christians that had any kind of Jesus,
  • 00:06:27.190 --> 00:06:29.270
  • and he would mock them openly, and try to turn them,
  • 00:06:29.270 --> 00:06:32.200
  • and try to offer them drugs, and mock them,
  • 00:06:32.200 --> 00:06:34.270
  • and say, "I can't believe you follow Jesus."
  • 00:06:34.270 --> 00:06:36.170
  • And he said his life came to a point
  • 00:06:36.170 --> 00:06:38.280
  • where he was in a relationship,
  • 00:06:38.280 --> 00:06:40.270
  • and the woman broke up with him,
  • 00:06:40.270 --> 00:06:42.260
  • and he became suicidal.
  • 00:06:42.260 --> 00:06:44.110
  • And he had been chanting to Krishna and Buddha
  • 00:06:44.110 --> 00:06:46.240
  • and you know, he had followed Jesus at one point,
  • 00:06:46.240 --> 00:06:49.170
  • and he said he went into a field with a dull pocket knife
  • 00:06:49.170 --> 00:06:53.180
  • and yelled out and said, "Jesus, Buddha, Krishna,
  • 00:06:53.180 --> 00:06:56.060
  • "whichever one of you are real, reveal yourself."
  • 00:06:56.060 --> 00:06:58.060
  • And a month later, he walked into a church,
  • 00:06:58.060 --> 00:07:00.030
  • and asked Christ to come into his heart.
  • 00:07:00.030 --> 00:07:02.280
  • The beads he had been chanting to immediately
  • 00:07:02.280 --> 00:07:04.210
  • began to choke him when he called the name of Jesus.
  • 00:07:04.210 --> 00:07:07.120
  • He reached up, grabbed the beads,
  • 00:07:07.120 --> 00:07:09.040
  • they scattered on the floor.
  • 00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:10.090
  • And one of the ministers ran over and said,
  • 00:07:10.090 --> 00:07:12.150
  • "What is happening?"
  • 00:07:12.150 --> 00:07:14.010
  • And he said, "Those are the beads I chanted to Krishna."
  • 00:07:14.010 --> 00:07:15.070
  • And they said, "Well, those are demons,
  • 00:07:15.070 --> 00:07:16.180
  • "and you got delivered.
  • 00:07:16.180 --> 00:07:18.070
  • "'Cause when Jesus comes in, He cleans house!"
  • 00:07:18.070 --> 00:07:19.220
  • And I think about this.
  • 00:07:19.220 --> 00:07:21.120
  • He said, "You know, I mocked them,
  • 00:07:21.120 --> 00:07:22.260
  • "and I was not interested."
  • 00:07:22.260 --> 00:07:24.120
  • But he said, "The truth was, I was still watching them."
  • 00:07:24.120 --> 00:07:26.130
  • - Well, I think you can only control
  • 00:07:26.130 --> 00:07:28.100
  • what you can control,
  • 00:07:28.100 --> 00:07:29.220
  • and the only thing you can control is yourself.
  • 00:07:29.220 --> 00:07:31.100
  • And so for me, when you start seeing people
  • 00:07:31.100 --> 00:07:34.160
  • that you love that you want to fix,
  • 00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:36.240
  • you kind of go into panic mode.
  • 00:07:36.240 --> 00:07:38.200
  • Because it's like, I wanna fix him,
  • 00:07:38.200 --> 00:07:39.290
  • I wanna fix him!
  • 00:07:39.290 --> 00:07:41.060
  • But we are not the Holy Spirit, we're not God,
  • 00:07:41.060 --> 00:07:43.160
  • and so for me, in my own journey with my mother
  • 00:07:43.160 --> 00:07:45.150
  • and her addiction, I wanted to rescue her.
  • 00:07:45.150 --> 00:07:48.020
  • I wanted to help her.
  • 00:07:48.020 --> 00:07:49.170
  • But me trying to help her was actually getting in the way,
  • 00:07:49.170 --> 00:07:52.100
  • so I loved her, but the best thing I could ever do
  • 00:07:52.100 --> 00:07:54.280
  • was just going to God, who is her creator.
  • 00:07:54.280 --> 00:07:58.170
  • He knows everything about her.
  • 00:07:58.170 --> 00:08:00.260
  • He knows her witnesses, He knows her strengths,
  • 00:08:00.260 --> 00:08:03.180
  • He knows the cries of her heart.
  • 00:08:03.180 --> 00:08:05.280
  • And so I just laid her down on a daily basis.
  • 00:08:05.280 --> 00:08:09.120
  • And I did what He asked me to do
  • 00:08:09.120 --> 00:08:11.220
  • when He said, "Honor your father and your mother."
  • 00:08:11.220 --> 00:08:13.080
  • For a while, it was really hard for me to honor her,
  • 00:08:13.080 --> 00:08:14.260
  • because of the pain that she had caused through my life.
  • 00:08:14.260 --> 00:08:17.240
  • But He said one day,
  • 00:08:17.240 --> 00:08:18.220
  • "I'm not asking you to honor her
  • 00:08:18.220 --> 00:08:20.150
  • "when she's good to you, I'm telling you to honor
  • 00:08:20.150 --> 00:08:22.220
  • "your father and mother."
  • 00:08:22.220 --> 00:08:24.150
  • And so it was crazy, because it was actually something
  • 00:08:24.150 --> 00:08:26.130
  • in me that He had to work out.
  • 00:08:26.130 --> 00:08:28.040
  • - Just being kind.
  • 00:08:28.040 --> 00:08:29.190
  • You know, when you said they don't wanna talk about faith,
  • 00:08:29.190 --> 00:08:32.040
  • but everyone wants to receive kindness.
  • 00:08:32.040 --> 00:08:34.200
  • - That's right. (women murmuring in agreement)
  • 00:08:34.200 --> 00:08:36.030
  • - And God can use you to give somebody a cup of sugar!
  • 00:08:36.030 --> 00:08:39.060
  • Or going to offer to babysit their kids, you know?
  • 00:08:39.060 --> 00:08:42.150
  • But just asking the Holy Spirit to give me
  • 00:08:42.150 --> 00:08:44.220
  • strategic ways to love them
  • 00:08:44.220 --> 00:08:46.060
  • in a way that will draw them in.
  • 00:08:46.060 --> 00:08:48.280
  • - Yeah, I've seen it that way too exactly.
  • 00:08:48.280 --> 00:08:51.180
  • We had John's sisters all just thought we were crazy.
  • 00:08:51.180 --> 00:08:55.000
  • And granted, I would say the first part of our marriage,
  • 00:08:55.000 --> 00:08:59.010
  • we didn't do it well.
  • 00:08:59.010 --> 00:09:00.060
  • We didn't do kindness,
  • 00:09:00.060 --> 00:09:01.180
  • we tried to convert them every time we saw them.
  • 00:09:01.180 --> 00:09:03.120
  • And then they would also try to push us in corners.
  • 00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:06.100
  • "What do you think about this?"
  • 00:09:06.100 --> 00:09:08.130
  • We're eating Thanksgiving,
  • 00:09:08.130 --> 00:09:09.270
  • why are we talking about these things?
  • 00:09:09.270 --> 00:09:12.020
  • And so I remember everything switched when his sister
  • 00:09:12.020 --> 00:09:16.080
  • was coming through town to look at the eclipse
  • 00:09:16.080 --> 00:09:19.020
  • and I said, "Come stay at our home."
  • 00:09:19.020 --> 00:09:22.080
  • And all we did was welcome her into our home,
  • 00:09:22.080 --> 00:09:25.130
  • and then something happened with her flight,
  • 00:09:25.130 --> 00:09:27.220
  • and she ended up staying longer,
  • 00:09:27.220 --> 00:09:29.160
  • and she said, when I opened my home, she opened her heart.
  • 00:09:29.160 --> 00:09:34.020
  • (women gasping)
  • 00:09:34.020 --> 00:09:35.070
  • That everything shifted.
  • 00:09:35.070 --> 00:09:36.270
  • Kindness is actually the first doorway
  • 00:09:36.270 --> 00:09:39.050
  • to lead people to repentance.
  • 00:09:39.050 --> 00:09:41.120
  • It was the kindness of God that led me to repentance.
  • 00:09:41.120 --> 00:09:44.230
  • It was the goodness of God,
  • 00:09:44.230 --> 00:09:46.140
  • having God be good to me when I was His enemy.
  • 00:09:46.140 --> 00:09:49.180
  • It was that kindness that opened my heart up
  • 00:09:49.180 --> 00:09:53.020
  • to the spirit of God.
  • 00:09:53.020 --> 00:09:54.170
  • And I think as Christians,
  • 00:09:54.170 --> 00:09:56.010
  • we forget that there is so little kindness in this world.
  • 00:09:56.010 --> 00:10:00.030
  • You know, I find that even as I just walk
  • 00:10:00.030 --> 00:10:02.040
  • through the airports, I might be going on a trip,
  • 00:10:02.040 --> 00:10:04.170
  • I see everybody is just moving through the hallways
  • 00:10:04.170 --> 00:10:06.290
  • very quick and I will intentionally catch somebody's eye
  • 00:10:06.290 --> 00:10:09.180
  • and say something just kind to them.
  • 00:10:09.180 --> 00:10:12.170
  • Like, "You look so beautiful today,"
  • 00:10:12.170 --> 00:10:14.200
  • or, "I really like the way you're dressed."
  • 00:10:14.200 --> 00:10:16.240
  • It will take them aback.
  • 00:10:17.220 --> 00:10:20.100
  • It's like it shocks them.
  • 00:10:20.100 --> 00:10:21.270
  • It has been so long since they have seen direct kindness.
  • 00:10:21.270 --> 00:10:26.040
  • We used to live down the street from a WWF wrestler,
  • 00:10:26.040 --> 00:10:28.150
  • and I mean, his wife would say,
  • 00:10:28.150 --> 00:10:30.180
  • "Those people down there, they're holy rollers!
  • 00:10:30.180 --> 00:10:32.270
  • "Just stay away from them, they're evil!
  • 00:10:32.270 --> 00:10:34.170
  • "Like, they'll sweep you in!"
  • 00:10:34.170 --> 00:10:37.230
  • And I remember her and I were both pregnant
  • 00:10:37.230 --> 00:10:40.000
  • at the same time, and I was out on the driveway
  • 00:10:40.000 --> 00:10:42.150
  • with my boys riding the Big Wheel,
  • 00:10:42.150 --> 00:10:44.230
  • and it was kinda like, she was the wild mom
  • 00:10:44.230 --> 00:10:47.140
  • on that end and I was the holy roller mom on this end.
  • 00:10:47.140 --> 00:10:49.200
  • And I heard the Holy Spirit say,
  • 00:10:49.200 --> 00:10:52.000
  • "You see her out there, start walking towards her."
  • 00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:55.050
  • And I thought, "She doesn't want anything to do with me!"
  • 00:10:55.050 --> 00:10:56.290
  • And He said, "Walk towards her and put your arms out."
  • 00:10:56.290 --> 00:10:59.290
  • And I was like, "Wait, like?"
  • 00:10:59.290 --> 00:11:01.110
  • And so I decided to kinda swing 'em.
  • 00:11:01.110 --> 00:11:03.240
  • (laughing)
  • 00:11:03.240 --> 00:11:05.010
  • - [Leslie] Like, "Does this count?"
  • 00:11:05.010 --> 00:11:06.090
  • - Kinda swinging my arms back and forth.
  • 00:11:06.090 --> 00:11:08.150
  • And I heard Him say, "Stop, stop!"
  • 00:11:08.150 --> 00:11:10.280
  • So I stood still and I put my arms out,
  • 00:11:10.280 --> 00:11:12.250
  • and she fell into my arms and started crying.
  • 00:11:12.250 --> 00:11:15.250
  • Yeah, she had a baby, had a horrible thing,
  • 00:11:15.250 --> 00:11:18.200
  • and I had given a flower to her.
  • 00:11:18.200 --> 00:11:21.200
  • I didn't even know her name.
  • 00:11:21.200 --> 00:11:23.040
  • I had just given a flower and I wrote,
  • 00:11:23.040 --> 00:11:24.230
  • "God is in control,"
  • 00:11:24.230 --> 00:11:26.090
  • and she said, that little dead flower is what kept me alive.
  • 00:11:26.090 --> 00:11:29.060
  • And just moments of kindness,
  • 00:11:29.060 --> 00:11:32.170
  • and she has continued to be a friend
  • 00:11:32.170 --> 00:11:34.080
  • throughout all of this time.
  • 00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:36.080
  • And that was the turning point for her and her sons.
  • 00:11:36.080 --> 00:11:38.220
  • - That is awesome, the power of love.
  • 00:11:38.220 --> 00:11:41.220
  • - Wow!
  • 00:11:41.220 --> 00:11:43.010
  • - If 20 year old Taylor was sitting here today,
  • 00:11:43.010 --> 00:11:45.290
  • I would tell her to continue to surrender,
  • 00:11:45.290 --> 00:11:50.100
  • to keep your eye on the prize.
  • 00:11:50.100 --> 00:11:52.180
  • That I wish I could say that things change overnight,
  • 00:11:52.180 --> 00:11:57.170
  • but a lot of times on this journey with the Lord,
  • 00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:00.140
  • it's a process, it's a journey, it's a day to day thing.
  • 00:12:00.140 --> 00:12:02.290
  • And so I think when I look too far in the future,
  • 00:12:02.290 --> 00:12:05.070
  • I couldn't see the future.
  • 00:12:05.070 --> 00:12:06.250
  • I couldn't see what was on the other side
  • 00:12:06.250 --> 00:12:08.050
  • when I took one day at a time.
  • 00:12:08.050 --> 00:12:09.200
  • I just allowed God to come and renew my mind daily.
  • 00:12:09.200 --> 00:12:12.100
  • You can stream Better Together episodes on the go.
  • 00:12:12.100 --> 00:12:14.240
  • - Download the TBN app
  • 00:12:14.240 --> 00:12:16.280
  • to watch our latest conversations.
  • 00:12:16.280 --> 00:12:19.090
  • (soft cheerful music)
  • 00:12:19.090 --> 00:12:22.020
  • (soft cheerful music)
  • 00:12:22.030 --> 00:12:22.150
  • (soft cheerful music)
  • 00:12:23.200 --> 00:12:25.090
  • Okay, Christie wants to know,
  • 00:12:25.090 --> 00:12:26.240
  • "How do I handle my teens transitioning to adulthood?
  • 00:12:26.240 --> 00:12:29.100
  • "They want adult privileges and child benefits."
  • 00:12:29.100 --> 00:12:32.250
  • (women laughing)
  • 00:12:32.250 --> 00:12:34.270
  • I haven't worked that one out, I'm sorry.
  • 00:12:34.270 --> 00:12:36.240
  • - I can't answer that! (laughing)
  • 00:12:36.240 --> 00:12:38.060
  • Pray, pray, and pray some more.
  • 00:12:38.060 --> 00:12:40.150
  • (laughing) Wow.
  • 00:12:40.150 --> 00:12:42.100
  • - You know, we were kind of tough on our boys.
  • 00:12:42.100 --> 00:12:45.020
  • You know, we told our boys,
  • 00:12:45.020 --> 00:12:46.250
  • just because all your friends are given cars,
  • 00:12:46.250 --> 00:12:50.090
  • we're not gonna give you a car.
  • 00:12:50.090 --> 00:12:52.010
  • We'll match what you save up to X amount of dollars.
  • 00:12:52.010 --> 00:12:55.000
  • We did not give our boys cell phones
  • 00:12:55.000 --> 00:12:57.140
  • until they were driving.
  • 00:12:57.140 --> 00:12:58.210
  • We're like, you don't need a cell phone!
  • 00:12:58.210 --> 00:12:59.290
  • We did not give them smartphones,
  • 00:12:59.290 --> 00:13:01.090
  • we gave them, you know, dumb phones.
  • 00:13:01.090 --> 00:13:02.230
  • It kept them safe.
  • 00:13:03.230 --> 00:13:05.140
  • We did certain things, and we told our boys,
  • 00:13:05.140 --> 00:13:08.020
  • you live in this house, you have responsibilities.
  • 00:13:08.020 --> 00:13:11.270
  • You'll do chores, like I cook,
  • 00:13:11.270 --> 00:13:14.160
  • and when I cook, it's a mess!
  • 00:13:14.160 --> 00:13:16.160
  • I mean, we're talking about the entire kitchen.
  • 00:13:16.160 --> 00:13:18.220
  • Every single counter space gets used.
  • 00:13:18.220 --> 00:13:20.210
  • My boys will come in and clean up the entire kitchen.
  • 00:13:20.210 --> 00:13:22.210
  • My boys do their own laundry.
  • 00:13:22.210 --> 00:13:24.140
  • So we have to raise them to be adults.
  • 00:13:24.140 --> 00:13:26.260
  • And I think too many people,
  • 00:13:26.260 --> 00:13:29.020
  • it's like what we were saying earlier.
  • 00:13:29.020 --> 00:13:30.250
  • Too many people insulate their kids from adult consequences.
  • 00:13:30.250 --> 00:13:34.160
  • And then their adult kids get out there,
  • 00:13:34.160 --> 00:13:36.180
  • and then they have a reality check
  • 00:13:36.180 --> 00:13:39.200
  • when they're not in a safe environment to grow.
  • 00:13:39.200 --> 00:13:42.230
  • And so I think that you have to say,
  • 00:13:42.230 --> 00:13:44.280
  • we love you, you're welcome in this house
  • 00:13:44.280 --> 00:13:47.240
  • as long as you want to live here,
  • 00:13:47.240 --> 00:13:50.040
  • but these are certain things that we do in this house.
  • 00:13:50.040 --> 00:13:53.100
  • And there are things that we don't do in this house.
  • 00:13:53.100 --> 00:13:54.250
  • And if they don't do 'em, there's consequences.
  • 00:13:54.250 --> 00:13:58.000
  • - We have to stand for truth.
  • 00:13:58.000 --> 00:14:01.160
  • Your kids feel like you're being the worst parent
  • 00:14:01.160 --> 00:14:04.140
  • in the world, you know.
  • 00:14:04.140 --> 00:14:05.180
  • It's so important that you understand
  • 00:14:07.290 --> 00:14:10.070
  • that being the parent will mean a lot of times,
  • 00:14:10.070 --> 00:14:14.050
  • you're not their best friend and there,
  • 00:14:14.050 --> 00:14:16.050
  • as far as what they feel.
  • 00:14:16.050 --> 00:14:17.260
  • - Right. - [Lisa] That's right, Cece.
  • 00:14:17.260 --> 00:14:19.060
  • - It's just that I found with my children,
  • 00:14:19.060 --> 00:14:22.000
  • communication is really huge.
  • 00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:25.130
  • You know, I'm one of those mothers that would go
  • 00:14:25.130 --> 00:14:27.000
  • through their room, go through their drawers!
  • 00:14:27.000 --> 00:14:29.160
  • (laughing)
  • 00:14:29.160 --> 00:14:30.290
  • But I made them talk to me.
  • 00:14:30.290 --> 00:14:33.110
  • And I wanted to know what they were thinking.
  • 00:14:33.110 --> 00:14:37.050
  • I wanted to know what they were going through.
  • 00:14:37.050 --> 00:14:38.230
  • I want them to learn how to express if they're angry
  • 00:14:38.230 --> 00:14:41.210
  • or why are they angry.
  • 00:14:41.210 --> 00:14:43.210
  • And it's through that that you really build
  • 00:14:43.210 --> 00:14:46.140
  • your relationship with them, but also,
  • 00:14:46.140 --> 00:14:49.030
  • you know how to pray for them.
  • 00:14:49.030 --> 00:14:50.290
  • It gave me insight on how to pray for them,
  • 00:14:50.290 --> 00:14:53.090
  • and what they were going through.
  • 00:14:53.090 --> 00:14:55.200
  • And I think one of my biggest mistakes though,
  • 00:14:55.200 --> 00:14:57.270
  • as a parent, even though I only had two,
  • 00:14:57.270 --> 00:14:59.270
  • called Alpha and Omega,
  • 00:14:59.270 --> 00:15:02.050
  • is that sometimes we think because we were raised
  • 00:15:02.050 --> 00:15:07.050
  • a certain way, it's gonna work with your children.
  • 00:15:08.180 --> 00:15:10.000
  • And that is not the case.
  • 00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:12.120
  • And that is why we really do need the Holy Spirit.
  • 00:15:12.120 --> 00:15:16.050
  • Even if the same kids are raised by the same parent,
  • 00:15:16.050 --> 00:15:19.060
  • they're all different.
  • 00:15:19.060 --> 00:15:20.220
  • So you really have to have the wisdom for this child,
  • 00:15:20.220 --> 00:15:23.150
  • and the wisdom for this child,
  • 00:15:23.150 --> 00:15:25.160
  • because what this child can take, the other one can't.
  • 00:15:25.160 --> 00:15:27.180
  • And I didn't really realize that when I was raising mine.
  • 00:15:27.180 --> 00:15:31.150
  • And so I think that's so important,
  • 00:15:31.150 --> 00:15:35.010
  • that you really just ask the Holy Spirit
  • 00:15:35.010 --> 00:15:37.090
  • for every situation, because every situation is different.
  • 00:15:37.090 --> 00:15:40.210
  • And the Holy Spirit knows what they're going through.
  • 00:15:40.210 --> 00:15:43.180
  • It might seem really crazy and ludicrous to us,
  • 00:15:43.180 --> 00:15:46.040
  • and off, and how could you think that way?
  • 00:15:46.040 --> 00:15:48.260
  • But they're individual,
  • 00:15:48.260 --> 00:15:50.140
  • and they're going through their own battles, you know?
  • 00:15:50.140 --> 00:15:53.120
  • So don't just write 'em off.
  • 00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:55.000
  • They're in a fight.
  • 00:15:55.000 --> 00:15:56.130
  • They're in a fight, but the Holy Spirit knows
  • 00:15:56.130 --> 00:15:59.160
  • exactly what they need.
  • 00:15:59.160 --> 00:16:00.290
  • And so sometimes, I had to be quiet
  • 00:16:00.290 --> 00:16:04.180
  • when I really wanted to say something.
  • 00:16:04.180 --> 00:16:06.260
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:16:06.260 --> 00:16:08.100
  • - And sometimes you have to speak out when you'd rather not.
  • 00:16:08.100 --> 00:16:11.260
  • So it's just being lit.
  • 00:16:11.260 --> 00:16:13.050
  • - You know, Cece, it's funny that you say that.
  • 00:16:13.050 --> 00:16:15.010
  • I mean, I love what you're saying,
  • 00:16:15.010 --> 00:16:16.090
  • and I remember that as a teenage kid, the battle.
  • 00:16:16.090 --> 00:16:18.100
  • And every time we would come to a crossroads,
  • 00:16:18.100 --> 00:16:20.070
  • where I was like, "No, I don't wanna do
  • 00:16:20.070 --> 00:16:22.130
  • "what you want me to do, and I'm gonna do my own thing!"
  • 00:16:22.130 --> 00:16:24.070
  • My mom would say, "There is a call of God on your life."
  • 00:16:24.070 --> 00:16:27.280
  • And she would begin to call out the truth aside
  • 00:16:27.280 --> 00:16:30.230
  • from everything else I was saying.
  • 00:16:30.230 --> 00:16:33.040
  • And I was saying, "I don't believe what you're saying,
  • 00:16:33.040 --> 00:16:35.050
  • "and I won't do it!"
  • 00:16:35.050 --> 00:16:36.120
  • And she would begin to speak to the Spirit.
  • 00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:38.070
  • My mom tells this story where I was in high school,
  • 00:16:38.070 --> 00:16:40.200
  • about junior high, and I went to her and I said,
  • 00:16:40.200 --> 00:16:43.270
  • "Mom, I don't wanna be a Christian anymore."
  • 00:16:43.270 --> 00:16:45.200
  • And she said she panicked.
  • 00:16:45.200 --> 00:16:47.290
  • She said she wanted to be like,
  • 00:16:47.290 --> 00:16:49.130
  • "But you have to be a Christian!
  • 00:16:49.130 --> 00:16:50.110
  • "It's what you have to do!"
  • 00:16:50.110 --> 00:16:51.290
  • And she said the Holy Spirit said to her,
  • 00:16:51.290 --> 00:16:54.070
  • "Ask more questions."
  • 00:16:54.070 --> 00:16:55.090
  • And so she said to me,
  • 00:16:55.090 --> 00:16:56.240
  • "What makes you not wanna be a Christian, what is it?"
  • 00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:58.110
  • And she said she linked it back
  • 00:16:58.110 --> 00:16:59.290
  • because I began to share that somebody had hurt me
  • 00:16:59.290 --> 00:17:03.090
  • and had mocked me for being a Christian,
  • 00:17:03.090 --> 00:17:05.010
  • and so I didn't want any part of it.
  • 00:17:05.010 --> 00:17:06.250
  • And as we talked about it,
  • 00:17:06.250 --> 00:17:08.170
  • I started to get rid of that pain
  • 00:17:08.170 --> 00:17:09.290
  • and get healed from that pain
  • 00:17:09.290 --> 00:17:11.180
  • and I realized it wasn't linked to being Christian.
  • 00:17:11.180 --> 00:17:13.020
  • And I think in all of us,
  • 00:17:13.020 --> 00:17:14.200
  • I think about my own boys,
  • 00:17:14.200 --> 00:17:16.200
  • they're gonna come to a place
  • 00:17:16.200 --> 00:17:17.270
  • where they'll have to make a decision.
  • 00:17:17.270 --> 00:17:19.090
  • And sometimes, we as parents don't want our kids
  • 00:17:19.090 --> 00:17:21.150
  • to have a moment where they need a savior.
  • 00:17:21.150 --> 00:17:24.020
  • - That was correction to me,
  • 00:17:24.020 --> 00:17:25.230
  • just like it was correction to you.
  • 00:17:25.230 --> 00:17:27.070
  • No, you're responsible for what God's put on the inside.
  • 00:17:27.070 --> 00:17:30.160
  • - Yes.
  • 00:17:30.160 --> 00:17:31.280
  • - And you can't go there, you can't do that,
  • 00:17:31.280 --> 00:17:33.100
  • because God won't allow you to do it.
  • 00:17:33.100 --> 00:17:35.090
  • - He won't allow it.
  • 00:17:35.090 --> 00:17:36.230
  • Our kids were fighting the other day in the car,
  • 00:17:36.230 --> 00:17:38.000
  • and Hudson, I was like, ready to give it to.
  • 00:17:38.000 --> 00:17:39.200
  • He walks from the car and the Lord said,
  • 00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:41.060
  • "Tell him who he is,"
  • 00:17:41.060 --> 00:17:42.130
  • And I said, "You are kind, you are gentle,
  • 00:17:42.130 --> 00:17:44.260
  • "you are a good friend,
  • 00:17:44.260 --> 00:17:46.140
  • "and you are not living up to who you really are."
  • 00:17:46.140 --> 00:17:48.220
  • And he was like, "You're right, Mom."
  • 00:17:48.220 --> 00:17:50.020
  • And he got in the car.
  • 00:17:50.020 --> 00:17:51.160
  • I don't know how long that's gonna last.
  • 00:17:51.160 --> 00:17:52.270
  • I went, "I'm an amazing mother!"
  • 00:17:52.270 --> 00:17:56.000
  • And it was the opposite of me going,
  • 00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:58.130
  • "You are being a punk, you're picking on your brothers,
  • 00:17:58.130 --> 00:18:02.190
  • "I'm tired of this!"
  • 00:18:02.190 --> 00:18:03.160
  • I wanted to do all that,
  • 00:18:03.160 --> 00:18:04.230
  • but I thought, reach for who you are.
  • 00:18:04.230 --> 00:18:06.240
  • - So Shelly asked, "How do you set boundaries
  • 00:18:06.240 --> 00:18:10.080
  • "with adult children?"
  • 00:18:10.080 --> 00:18:12.100
  • As an Italian mother, we have no boundaries.
  • 00:18:12.100 --> 00:18:14.280
  • We say come whenever you want to come,
  • 00:18:14.280 --> 00:18:17.080
  • eat whatever you want to eat,
  • 00:18:17.080 --> 00:18:18.250
  • take from my house whatever you want.
  • 00:18:18.250 --> 00:18:20.030
  • - Right, I don't want my kids to leave the house!
  • 00:18:20.030 --> 00:18:21.280
  • - I'm like, how do you set boundaries with adult kids?
  • 00:18:21.280 --> 00:18:26.040
  • Well, I just think you train your kids
  • 00:18:26.040 --> 00:18:29.050
  • to respect one another and to respect you,
  • 00:18:29.050 --> 00:18:32.290
  • and so when they become adults,
  • 00:18:32.290 --> 00:18:34.120
  • you respect them as well.
  • 00:18:34.120 --> 00:18:35.270
  • So I don't know exactly what boundaries
  • 00:18:35.270 --> 00:18:37.240
  • that she's asking about,
  • 00:18:37.240 --> 00:18:39.250
  • but I just think again, communication.
  • 00:18:39.250 --> 00:18:41.210
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:18:41.210 --> 00:18:42.280
  • - And everybody should respect one another.
  • 00:18:42.280 --> 00:18:45.030
  • (soft cheerful music)
  • 00:18:45.030 --> 00:18:47.070
  • (soft cheerful music)
  • 00:18:48.020 --> 00:18:49.140
  • (soft cheerful music)
  • 00:18:49.140 --> 00:18:50.210
  • - Okay, so we're receiving tons of emails
  • 00:18:50.210 --> 00:18:53.060
  • and Instagram posts asking about teens
  • 00:18:53.060 --> 00:18:55.290
  • and how to handle them
  • 00:18:55.290 --> 00:18:57.130
  • when they're pushing their boundaries.
  • 00:18:57.130 --> 00:18:58.290
  • And so this is from Leslie, who writes,
  • 00:18:58.290 --> 00:19:02.140
  • "We found out that our teen is having sex and vaping at 16.
  • 00:19:02.140 --> 00:19:07.140
  • "So my mommy heart is really struggling
  • 00:19:08.190 --> 00:19:10.060
  • "the balance of prayer, love, and practical boundary lines
  • 00:19:10.060 --> 00:19:13.090
  • "and forms of discipline.
  • 00:19:13.090 --> 00:19:15.110
  • "They will sneak and do it anyways.
  • 00:19:15.110 --> 00:19:18.110
  • "Please help."
  • 00:19:18.110 --> 00:19:19.240
  • - Wow, well I can't speak about teenage kids,
  • 00:19:19.240 --> 00:19:22.120
  • but I once was a rebellious teenager. (laughing)
  • 00:19:22.120 --> 00:19:26.120
  • I can, yeah, I was that.
  • 00:19:26.120 --> 00:19:28.030
  • Sorry Lord, Mom and Dad!
  • 00:19:28.030 --> 00:19:31.060
  • But I will say, I said it earlier,
  • 00:19:31.060 --> 00:19:32.280
  • but I think the best thing my parents ever did for me
  • 00:19:32.280 --> 00:19:35.150
  • was they loved me back to who I was called to be.
  • 00:19:35.150 --> 00:19:39.150
  • So they never, well, I knew they didn't--
  • 00:19:39.150 --> 00:19:43.220
  • - Approve? - Approve.
  • 00:19:43.220 --> 00:19:45.250
  • I knew that once again, how bad I was being.
  • 00:19:45.250 --> 00:19:48.050
  • I was raised in church, I was a church kid.
  • 00:19:48.050 --> 00:19:50.140
  • Like, I knew what I was supposed to do right.
  • 00:19:50.140 --> 00:19:52.090
  • However, the brokenness kept pushing me to do it wrong.
  • 00:19:52.090 --> 00:19:56.170
  • However, the best thing they ever did for me
  • 00:19:56.170 --> 00:19:58.110
  • was sitting me down and calling forth
  • 00:19:58.110 --> 00:20:00.180
  • who I was called to be.
  • 00:20:00.180 --> 00:20:01.180
  • "You're called, you're chosen.
  • 00:20:01.180 --> 00:20:03.020
  • "You're in a crisis right now,
  • 00:20:03.020 --> 00:20:05.180
  • "but God loves you, He sees you."
  • 00:20:05.180 --> 00:20:07.110
  • And I believe them walking that out with me day to day.
  • 00:20:07.110 --> 00:20:11.000
  • Because I would go back and I would do it again.
  • 00:20:11.000 --> 00:20:13.060
  • And they were still, they just remained.
  • 00:20:13.060 --> 00:20:15.050
  • They never, I guess, kicked me out.
  • 00:20:15.050 --> 00:20:17.090
  • They never turned their backs on me.
  • 00:20:17.090 --> 00:20:18.160
  • And I think that was the best thing
  • 00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:19.230
  • they could have ever done for me.
  • 00:20:19.230 --> 00:20:21.090
  • I definitely was in a bad situation,
  • 00:20:21.090 --> 00:20:22.220
  • but not to the extent of where I think
  • 00:20:22.220 --> 00:20:25.040
  • I should have been kicked out.
  • 00:20:25.040 --> 00:20:26.050
  • But to each his own.
  • 00:20:26.050 --> 00:20:27.190
  • I mean, there's some situations that are almost impossible,
  • 00:20:27.190 --> 00:20:30.040
  • and the parent is desperate for something,
  • 00:20:30.040 --> 00:20:32.090
  • and the child is extremely disrespectful
  • 00:20:32.090 --> 00:20:33.250
  • and all of the things.
  • 00:20:33.250 --> 00:20:35.230
  • And so I think only you can answer that as a parent.
  • 00:20:35.230 --> 00:20:40.060
  • You know, I think you seek the Holy Spirit.
  • 00:20:40.060 --> 00:20:42.010
  • I mean, this is the same answer for everything.
  • 00:20:42.010 --> 00:20:44.250
  • The Holy Spirit is our guide.
  • 00:20:44.250 --> 00:20:46.230
  • He promised He would be our guide.
  • 00:20:46.230 --> 00:20:48.140
  • He is our voice that we listen to.
  • 00:20:48.140 --> 00:20:50.000
  • Because I knew some friends who lived with their parents,
  • 00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:52.200
  • they don't know what else to do, they go into panic
  • 00:20:52.200 --> 00:20:54.130
  • and they kick their kids out or they cut 'em off.
  • 00:20:54.130 --> 00:20:56.290
  • But I think in my moment of crisis,
  • 00:20:56.290 --> 00:20:59.090
  • that would have been the worst thing for them to do for me.
  • 00:20:59.090 --> 00:21:02.130
  • So they loved me through it.
  • 00:21:02.130 --> 00:21:04.120
  • And I think you just keep pressing,
  • 00:21:04.120 --> 00:21:06.290
  • you keep believing, you keep praying,
  • 00:21:06.290 --> 00:21:09.000
  • you keep contending on behalf of your children.
  • 00:21:09.000 --> 00:21:12.010
  • And I believe that we try to show them
  • 00:21:12.010 --> 00:21:14.140
  • in the way that they should go,
  • 00:21:14.140 --> 00:21:15.140
  • they want the part.
  • 00:21:15.140 --> 00:21:16.280
  • So even if they've strayed away for a moment or a season,
  • 00:21:16.280 --> 00:21:18.270
  • I believe that they'll come back.
  • 00:21:18.270 --> 00:21:20.130
  • - [Cece] Amen, amen.
  • 00:21:20.130 --> 00:21:21.280
  • - I think the parents have a right to set some parameters.
  • 00:21:21.280 --> 00:21:24.190
  • - Absolutely.
  • 00:21:24.190 --> 00:21:26.020
  • - And say, "You're not going out with him anymore."
  • 00:21:26.020 --> 00:21:27.110
  • I don't know, maybe it's because I'm a boy mom.
  • 00:21:27.110 --> 00:21:29.270
  • I'd be searching drawers.
  • 00:21:29.270 --> 00:21:31.240
  • - Ooh, you sound like me!
  • 00:21:31.240 --> 00:21:33.280
  • (laughing)
  • 00:21:33.280 --> 00:21:35.250
  • - I think it's to protect them.
  • 00:21:35.250 --> 00:21:37.160
  • And I would say, baby doll,
  • 00:21:38.130 --> 00:21:41.200
  • you've made some choices that I wanna protect you from.
  • 00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:45.030
  • I know you think that I'm gonna actually,
  • 00:21:45.030 --> 00:21:47.230
  • but if they're in your house,
  • 00:21:47.230 --> 00:21:49.100
  • because the last thing you wanna do is push them out.
  • 00:21:49.100 --> 00:21:51.160
  • But I would want to protect them.
  • 00:21:51.160 --> 00:21:52.270
  • - That's right.
  • 00:21:52.270 --> 00:21:54.060
  • - I would want to take away some privileges.
  • 00:21:54.060 --> 00:21:56.070
  • - And I think when you're in that,
  • 00:21:56.070 --> 00:21:58.070
  • you don't know what you need.
  • 00:21:58.070 --> 00:21:59.220
  • But I longed for that.
  • 00:21:59.220 --> 00:22:01.020
  • I longed for it, take my car away!
  • 00:22:01.020 --> 00:22:03.000
  • - [Cece] The discipline.
  • 00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:04.130
  • - Yeah, like when I'm a teenager,
  • 00:22:04.130 --> 00:22:05.160
  • I'm not gonna say that,
  • 00:22:05.160 --> 00:22:07.230
  • but at the end of the day, like now.
  • 00:22:07.230 --> 00:22:09.080
  • When I was broken, I was making horrible decisions.
  • 00:22:09.080 --> 00:22:11.270
  • I didn't see things the way I would when I'm whole.
  • 00:22:11.270 --> 00:22:13.170
  • So now looking back, I'm like yes,
  • 00:22:13.170 --> 00:22:15.130
  • you should have taken my car!
  • 00:22:15.130 --> 00:22:17.080
  • You should have taken my cell phone!
  • 00:22:17.080 --> 00:22:19.060
  • Like why did you--
  • 00:22:19.060 --> 00:22:20.050
  • - [Laurie] Those boundaries.
  • 00:22:20.050 --> 00:22:21.000
  • - Those boundaries!
  • 00:22:21.000 --> 00:22:22.020
  • So yes, in doing it, you can do that in love.
  • 00:22:23.060 --> 00:22:25.000
  • That is love!
  • 00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:26.170
  • You know, discipline is love.
  • 00:22:26.170 --> 00:22:27.240
  • - So being led of the Holy Spirit,
  • 00:22:27.240 --> 00:22:29.100
  • you've gotta be led of the Holy Spirit.
  • 00:22:29.100 --> 00:22:32.000
  • You have to like, David said,
  • 00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:33.250
  • as for me and my house, we're gonna serve the Lord.
  • 00:22:33.250 --> 00:22:35.250
  • You know, you have to lay down laws.
  • 00:22:35.250 --> 00:22:39.250
  • I know, being raised with seven brothers,
  • 00:22:39.250 --> 00:22:43.020
  • you have to lay down the law.
  • 00:22:43.020 --> 00:22:45.130
  • Because if even one goes crazy,
  • 00:22:45.130 --> 00:22:47.100
  • you've got all the rest of them who are gonna act crazy!
  • 00:22:47.100 --> 00:22:49.210
  • - Oh yeah, it's prison break.
  • 00:22:49.210 --> 00:22:51.040
  • It's prison break.
  • 00:22:51.040 --> 00:22:52.120
  • - So my oldest brother did get kicked out.
  • 00:22:52.120 --> 00:22:53.280
  • He went and stayed with my grandmother,
  • 00:22:53.280 --> 00:22:57.150
  • so he had it even better.
  • 00:22:57.150 --> 00:22:59.110
  • But they had to put him out, because my parents said,
  • 00:23:00.260 --> 00:23:03.240
  • all you're gonna listen to is Christian music.
  • 00:23:03.240 --> 00:23:06.110
  • All you're gonna do is this.
  • 00:23:06.110 --> 00:23:07.190
  • They laid those laws down. - Wow.
  • 00:23:07.190 --> 00:23:09.100
  • There's all these questions about how do I raise my kids?
  • 00:23:09.100 --> 00:23:12.070
  • This one's so different, this one's got their trouble,
  • 00:23:12.070 --> 00:23:14.180
  • and I pray for peace for you today.
  • 00:23:14.180 --> 00:23:17.160
  • I pray for wisdom with you today.
  • 00:23:17.160 --> 00:23:19.270
  • And I just thank God for His peace and His grace
  • 00:23:19.270 --> 00:23:23.220
  • that covers us.
  • 00:23:23.220 --> 00:23:25.060
  • God, you said your mercies are new every morning.
  • 00:23:25.060 --> 00:23:26.270
  • So Father, we draw on you today.
  • 00:23:26.270 --> 00:23:28.210
  • We draw on your grace, Father,
  • 00:23:28.210 --> 00:23:30.210
  • and we draw on your wisdom.
  • 00:23:30.210 --> 00:23:32.270
  • You said to ask of wisdom, and you'll give it to us.
  • 00:23:32.270 --> 00:23:35.040
  • So God, we ask for wisdom and how to train our children,
  • 00:23:35.040 --> 00:23:38.260
  • and how to do things your way.
  • 00:23:38.260 --> 00:23:41.010
  • How to see people the way you see them, Father.
  • 00:23:41.010 --> 00:23:43.270
  • How to call out the good in our children,
  • 00:23:43.270 --> 00:23:46.220
  • the destiny and the purpose in our children's lives.
  • 00:23:46.220 --> 00:23:49.170
  • God, how to minister to our parents.
  • 00:23:49.170 --> 00:23:51.160
  • God, and our grandparents.
  • 00:23:51.160 --> 00:23:53.060
  • Lord, I thank you that you open doors, God,
  • 00:23:53.060 --> 00:23:56.110
  • that only you can open.
  • 00:23:56.110 --> 00:23:58.010
  • And you shut the ones that only you can shut.
  • 00:23:58.010 --> 00:24:00.030
  • But God, I thank you that you bring us help
  • 00:24:00.030 --> 00:24:02.120
  • in the time of trouble.
  • 00:24:02.120 --> 00:24:03.250
  • I thank you that you're all that we need.
  • 00:24:03.250 --> 00:24:05.240
  • You're our life, you're our peace,
  • 00:24:05.240 --> 00:24:07.240
  • you're our song, you're our joy, you're our strength,
  • 00:24:07.240 --> 00:24:10.200
  • and everything good we find in you, Father.
  • 00:24:10.200 --> 00:24:13.010
  • So God, I pray for all of our friends today.
  • 00:24:13.010 --> 00:24:15.190
  • Lord, just minister.
  • 00:24:15.190 --> 00:24:17.150
  • I pray that everyone right now,
  • 00:24:17.150 --> 00:24:18.290
  • to the sound of my voice, feels your presence
  • 00:24:18.290 --> 00:24:20.230
  • and your embrace like never before, Lord.
  • 00:24:20.230 --> 00:24:23.220
  • Father, I just thank you for your goodness
  • 00:24:23.220 --> 00:24:26.130
  • and for your love.
  • 00:24:26.130 --> 00:24:27.210
  • In Jesus's name, amen.
  • 00:24:27.210 --> 00:24:29.220
  • We want to stand with you in prayer.
  • 00:24:29.220 --> 00:24:32.150
  • You can call the number on your screen
  • 00:24:32.150 --> 00:24:34.130
  • to talk to a prayer partner.
  • 00:24:34.130 --> 00:24:35.280
  • We're here for you 24 hours a day,
  • 00:24:35.280 --> 00:24:37.290
  • seven days a week.
  • 00:24:37.290 --> 00:24:39.120
  • We love you, but most importantly, God loves you.
  • 00:24:39.120 --> 00:24:41.140
  • (upbeat music)
  • 00:24:41.140 --> 00:24:43.050
  • - Favorite month in the year?
  • 00:24:43.050 --> 00:24:45.260
  • - Hmm, fall, so I would say September.
  • 00:24:45.260 --> 00:24:49.030
  • - December, because I love Christmas.
  • 00:24:49.030 --> 00:24:51.010
  • - You like Christmas, okay.
  • 00:24:51.010 --> 00:24:52.010
  • - I have eight Christmas trees!
  • 00:24:52.010 --> 00:24:53.050
  • - How many? - Eight!
  • 00:24:53.050 --> 00:24:54.160
  • - Oh my goodness!
  • 00:24:54.160 --> 00:24:55.110
  • (beep)
  • 00:24:55.110 --> 00:24:56.090
  • Fruity candy or chocolate?
  • 00:24:56.090 --> 00:24:57.130
  • - Oh, both! - Oh, really?
  • 00:24:57.130 --> 00:25:00.090
  • - I love sweets.
  • 00:25:00.090 --> 00:25:01.130
  • - Chocolate, chocolate for days, yes!
  • 00:25:01.130 --> 00:25:04.060
  • - [Laurie] Here's what's happening
  • 00:25:04.060 --> 00:25:06.020
  • - [Laurie] Watch Better Together weekdays on TBN.
  • 00:25:23.270 --> 00:25:26.260
  • (soft cheerful music)
  • 00:25:26.260 --> 00:25:29.140