Healing the Heart | Better Together | TBN

Healing the Heart | Better Together

Watch Healing the Heart | Better Together
September 17, 2019
27:07

Let's talk about overcoming barriers to healthy emotional intimacy in romantic relationships. | TBN Prayer Line: 1-888-731-1000

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Healing the Heart | Better Together

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  • - Are you ready to be loved?
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    • - Are you ready to be loved?
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    • 00:00:05.260 --> 00:00:07.050
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    • 00:00:05.260 --> 00:00:07.050
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    • Today we're taking aim at the issues that try
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    • Today we're taking aim at the issues that try
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    • 00:00:07.050 --> 00:00:09.130
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    • to keep our hearts bound in chains.
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    • to keep our hearts bound in chains.
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    • 00:00:09.130 --> 00:00:12.030
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    • 00:00:09.130 --> 00:00:12.030
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    • Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
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    • Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
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    • 00:00:12.030 --> 00:00:17.020
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    • 00:00:12.030 --> 00:00:17.020
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    • Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
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    • Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
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    • 00:00:17.020 --> 00:00:22.020
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    • 00:00:17.020 --> 00:00:22.020
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    • Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
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    • Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
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    • 00:00:23.080 --> 00:00:27.040
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    • Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
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    • Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
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    • 00:00:28.100 --> 00:00:32.000
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    • Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
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    • Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
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    • 00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:37.000
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    • 00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:37.000
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    • Ooh, ooh, ooh
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    • Ooh, ooh, ooh
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    • 00:00:37.230 --> 00:00:39.000
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    • 00:00:37.230 --> 00:00:39.000
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    • - So I wanna talk about trust issues today.
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    • - So I wanna talk about trust issues today.
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    • 00:00:39.000 --> 00:00:40.150
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    • I feel like this is a big issues with many women in general.
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    • I feel like this is a big issues with many women in general.
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    • 00:00:40.150 --> 00:00:44.070
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    • 00:00:40.150 --> 00:00:44.070
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    • I feel like our greatest need is security,
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    • I feel like our greatest need is security,
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    • 00:00:44.070 --> 00:00:46.000
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    • to feel safe and I was adopted at the age of six months,
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    • to feel safe and I was adopted at the age of six months,
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    • 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:49.290
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    • but I had some trauma that happened to me beforehand.
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    • but I had some trauma that happened to me beforehand.
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    • 00:00:49.290 --> 00:00:52.220
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    • 00:00:49.290 --> 00:00:52.220
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    • And so I ended up just seeking all
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    • And so I ended up just seeking all
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    • these really bad relationships for value and worth
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    • these really bad relationships for value and worth
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    • 00:00:55.230 --> 00:00:58.060
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    • throughout my life.
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    • throughout my life.
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    • 00:00:58.060 --> 00:00:59.190
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    • 00:00:58.060 --> 00:00:59.190
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    • And so I get into relationships as a teenager,
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    • And so I get into relationships as a teenager,
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    • 00:00:59.190 --> 00:01:01.210
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    • 00:00:59.190 --> 00:01:01.210
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    • I cheat on my boyfriend, he would cheat on me.
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    • I cheat on my boyfriend, he would cheat on me.
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    • 00:01:01.210 --> 00:01:03.170
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    • 00:01:01.210 --> 00:01:03.170
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    • We were just a disaster.
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    • We were just a disaster.
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    • It was just so bad.
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    • It was just so bad.
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    • Then I found Christ, and I was like,
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    • Then I found Christ, and I was like,
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    • wait, like hold on, fornication is wrong.
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    • wait, like hold on, fornication is wrong.
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    • I didn't know that.
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    • I didn't know that.
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    • I've called it fornification.
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    • I've called it fornification.
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    • 00:01:10.240 --> 00:01:12.170
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    • (ladies laughing)
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    • (ladies laughing)
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    • - [Bianca] Never heard of it.
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    • - [Bianca] Never heard of it.
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    • 00:01:14.020 --> 00:01:15.000
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    • 00:01:14.020 --> 00:01:15.000
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    • - I was like no told me that.
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    • - I was like no told me that.
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    • 00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:16.030
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    • You know what I mean?
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    • You know what I mean?
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    • So then I have all this baggage that I'm carrying with me
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    • So then I have all this baggage that I'm carrying with me
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    • 00:01:17.160 --> 00:01:19.040
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    • that I'm like believing God that I'm healed from,
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    • that I'm like believing God that I'm healed from,
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    • set free, then I meet my husband.
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    • set free, then I meet my husband.
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    • We wait to kiss until our wedding day,
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    • We wait to kiss until our wedding day,
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    • a year and eight months.
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    • a year and eight months.
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    • So you would think that I'm going into marriage
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    • So you would think that I'm going into marriage
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    • with like all these great, no trust issues,
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    • with like all these great, no trust issues,
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    • 00:01:28.080 --> 00:01:30.270
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    • everything's fine, no.
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    • everything's fine, no.
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    • I drag all the baggage that I had with me into my marriage.
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    • I drag all the baggage that I had with me into my marriage.
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    • 00:01:32.130 --> 00:01:35.230
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    • My husband would be like, "I'm going to get a haircut."
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    • My husband would be like, "I'm going to get a haircut."
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    • 00:01:35.230 --> 00:01:38.030
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    • And I'm like, "Who's at the barber shop?"
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    • And I'm like, "Who's at the barber shop?"
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    • He's like, "My barber."
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    • He's like, "My barber."
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    • (ladies laughing)
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    • (ladies laughing)
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    • I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I'm being a crazy person."
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    • I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I'm being a crazy person."
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    • And I would go through his phone that first year
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    • And I would go through his phone that first year
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    • of our marriage and he would be like,
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    • of our marriage and he would be like,
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    • 00:01:47.140 --> 00:01:48.270
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    • "I'm not talking to anybody.
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    • "I'm not talking to anybody.
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    • 00:01:48.270 --> 00:01:50.090
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    • "I'm with you 24/7.
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    • "I'm with you 24/7.
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    • 00:01:50.090 --> 00:01:51.270
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    • 00:01:50.090 --> 00:01:51.270
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    • "We work together.
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    • "We work together.
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    • 00:01:51.270 --> 00:01:53.120
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    • "We do everything together at this little house."
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    • "We do everything together at this little house."
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    • And so I had to overcome that barrier and what worked for me
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    • And so I had to overcome that barrier and what worked for me
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    • is one day I remember just, I remember the Holy Spirit
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    • is one day I remember just, I remember the Holy Spirit
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    • telling me, "I love you so much.
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    • telling me, "I love you so much.
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    • 00:02:02.110 --> 00:02:04.290
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    • 00:02:02.110 --> 00:02:04.290
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    • "Your identity is in me.
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    • "Your identity is in me.
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    • 00:02:04.290 --> 00:02:06.080
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    • "It's not in who abandoned you.
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    • "It's not in who abandoned you.
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    • 00:02:06.080 --> 00:02:08.080
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    • "It's not in who rejected you.
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    • "It's not in who rejected you.
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    • 00:02:08.080 --> 00:02:09.270
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    • "It's not in those things."
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    • "It's not in those things."
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    • And I had to learn that I'm not gonna be a crazy person.
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    • And I had to learn that I'm not gonna be a crazy person.
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    • 00:02:11.130 --> 00:02:14.060
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    • I'm not gonna spend my whole life in bondage to my past
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    • I'm not gonna spend my whole life in bondage to my past
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    • 00:02:14.060 --> 00:02:17.280
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    • and who I used to be.
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    • and who I used to be.
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    • So I've learned that I can't charge my husband
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    • So I've learned that I can't charge my husband
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    • 00:02:19.170 --> 00:02:21.180
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    • for the people that hurt me from my past.
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    • for the people that hurt me from my past.
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    • I can't do that and granted I might have some baggage,
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    • I can't do that and granted I might have some baggage,
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    • 00:02:23.180 --> 00:02:26.280
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    • but there are some things that I need to take to the Lord
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    • but there are some things that I need to take to the Lord
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    • 00:02:26.280 --> 00:02:29.180
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    • that my husband can't heal.
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    • that my husband can't heal.
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    • Yes my husband has been a great part of my healing,
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    • Yes my husband has been a great part of my healing,
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    • especially with dealing with like abandonment and rejection,
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    • especially with dealing with like abandonment and rejection,
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    • 00:02:34.030 --> 00:02:37.020
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    • but some of the baggage that I carried with me.
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    • but some of the baggage that I carried with me.
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    • Only the Lord can heal that stuff that's going on
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    • Only the Lord can heal that stuff that's going on
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    • in my heart.
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    • in my heart.
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    • So my husband is great, he's a great leader,
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    • So my husband is great, he's a great leader,
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    • great priest over our household,
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    • great priest over our household,
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    • 00:02:44.030 --> 00:02:45.260
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    • but he's not gonna solve all my problems and make me whole.
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    • but he's not gonna solve all my problems and make me whole.
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    • 00:02:45.260 --> 00:02:48.150
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    • That's not even possible.
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    • That's not even possible.
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    • 00:02:48.150 --> 00:02:49.230
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    • So I've learned that I can't hold my past
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    • So I've learned that I can't hold my past
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    • over my husband's head and say
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    • over my husband's head and say
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    • 00:02:53.200 --> 00:02:55.110
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    • "Well you need to be more like this, no."
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    • "Well you need to be more like this, no."
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    • 00:02:55.110 --> 00:02:56.240
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    • I want him to be who God called him to be.
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    • I want him to be who God called him to be.
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    • 00:02:56.240 --> 00:02:59.060
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    • So I surrendered my marriage to the Lord and I said,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So I surrendered my marriage to the Lord and I said,
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    • 00:02:59.060 --> 00:03:02.030
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    • "God here it is.
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    • "God here it is.
    • -->
    • 00:03:02.030 --> 00:03:03.110
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    • "I'm no longer gonna be a crazy person.
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    • "I'm no longer gonna be a crazy person.
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    • 00:03:03.110 --> 00:03:05.040
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    • "I give it to you and I surrender it to you."
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    • "I give it to you and I surrender it to you."
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    • 00:03:05.040 --> 00:03:07.180
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    • And then I remember, I had those thoughts come up,
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    • And then I remember, I had those thoughts come up,
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    • 00:03:07.180 --> 00:03:09.290
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    • like, "Go through his phone."
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    • like, "Go through his phone."
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    • 00:03:09.290 --> 00:03:11.140
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    • And it's like he'd give me no reason to look at his phone.
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    • And it's like he'd give me no reason to look at his phone.
    • -->
    • 00:03:11.140 --> 00:03:13.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:11.140 --> 00:03:13.280
    • -->
    • I was just being crazy.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I was just being crazy.
    • -->
    • 00:03:13.280 --> 00:03:15.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:13.280 --> 00:03:15.060
    • -->
    • And I'd say "No, he's not my past,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I'd say "No, he's not my past,
    • -->
    • 00:03:15.060 --> 00:03:17.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:15.060 --> 00:03:17.030
    • -->
    • "he's not my ex-boyfriend, he's my husband,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "he's not my ex-boyfriend, he's my husband,
    • -->
    • 00:03:17.030 --> 00:03:19.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:17.030 --> 00:03:19.230
    • -->
    • "and he's a Godly man, and he's a good man."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "and he's a Godly man, and he's a good man."
    • -->
    • 00:03:19.230 --> 00:03:22.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:19.230 --> 00:03:22.020
    • -->
    • So I had to fight back with the word of God
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So I had to fight back with the word of God
    • -->
    • 00:03:22.020 --> 00:03:24.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:22.020 --> 00:03:24.100
    • -->
    • and open up my mouth and say,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and open up my mouth and say,
    • -->
    • 00:03:24.100 --> 00:03:25.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:24.100 --> 00:03:25.120
    • -->
    • "No, I'm gonna pass this test."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "No, I'm gonna pass this test."
    • -->
    • 00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:27.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:27.030
    • -->
    • And then I watched our marriage change.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And then I watched our marriage change.
    • -->
    • 00:03:27.030 --> 00:03:28.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:27.030 --> 00:03:28.150
    • -->
    • (ladies reacting)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (ladies reacting)
    • -->
    • 00:03:28.150 --> 00:03:29.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:28.150 --> 00:03:29.200
    • -->
    • Like I watched literally the enemy
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Like I watched literally the enemy
    • -->
    • 00:03:29.200 --> 00:03:31.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:29.200 --> 00:03:31.010
    • -->
    • stopped attacking me in that very area,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • stopped attacking me in that very area,
    • -->
    • 00:03:31.010 --> 00:03:33.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:31.010 --> 00:03:33.030
    • -->
    • because I wasn't giving in to every desire
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because I wasn't giving in to every desire
    • -->
    • 00:03:33.030 --> 00:03:36.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:33.030 --> 00:03:36.060
    • -->
    • or urge to be crazy.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • or urge to be crazy.
    • -->
    • 00:03:36.060 --> 00:03:38.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:36.060 --> 00:03:38.040
    • -->
    • - I think that this is a huge conversation
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I think that this is a huge conversation
    • -->
    • 00:03:38.040 --> 00:03:41.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:38.040 --> 00:03:41.140
    • -->
    • that's not being addressed,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that's not being addressed,
    • -->
    • 00:03:41.140 --> 00:03:42.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:41.140 --> 00:03:42.180
    • -->
    • but it's barriers to intimacy.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but it's barriers to intimacy.
    • -->
    • 00:03:42.180 --> 00:03:45.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:42.180 --> 00:03:45.100
    • -->
    • We want to be known, we want to be trusted,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We want to be known, we want to be trusted,
    • -->
    • 00:03:45.100 --> 00:03:47.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:45.100 --> 00:03:47.210
    • -->
    • we wanna trust someone, but without even realizing
    • " data-timeend="">
    • we wanna trust someone, but without even realizing
    • -->
    • 00:03:47.210 --> 00:03:50.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:47.210 --> 00:03:50.030
    • -->
    • there's barriers that we are aware of or unaware of.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • there's barriers that we are aware of or unaware of.
    • -->
    • 00:03:50.030 --> 00:03:52.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:50.030 --> 00:03:52.120
    • -->
    • You had a high level of self realization,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You had a high level of self realization,
    • -->
    • 00:03:52.120 --> 00:03:54.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:52.120 --> 00:03:54.130
    • -->
    • but there are sometimes when we're in relationships
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but there are sometimes when we're in relationships
    • -->
    • 00:03:54.130 --> 00:03:56.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:54.130 --> 00:03:56.020
    • -->
    • with people where they're not aware of some of the barriers
    • " data-timeend="">
    • with people where they're not aware of some of the barriers
    • -->
    • 00:03:56.020 --> 00:04:00.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:56.020 --> 00:04:00.070
    • -->
    • that they too possess.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that they too possess.
    • -->
    • 00:04:00.070 --> 00:04:01.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:00.070 --> 00:04:01.220
    • -->
    • And so my husband and I have spoken openly about this
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so my husband and I have spoken openly about this
    • -->
    • 00:04:01.220 --> 00:04:03.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:01.220 --> 00:04:03.090
    • -->
    • and he is totally okay with me saying this.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and he is totally okay with me saying this.
    • -->
    • 00:04:03.090 --> 00:04:05.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:03.090 --> 00:04:05.160
    • -->
    • But our first year of marriage was so incredibly difficult.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • But our first year of marriage was so incredibly difficult.
    • -->
    • 00:04:05.160 --> 00:04:08.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:05.160 --> 00:04:08.080
    • -->
    • Heather like yourself, I was a virgin when I got,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Heather like yourself, I was a virgin when I got,
    • -->
    • 00:04:08.080 --> 00:04:10.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:08.080 --> 00:04:10.170
    • -->
    • well I was a virgin when I got married,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • well I was a virgin when I got married,
    • -->
    • 00:04:10.170 --> 00:04:12.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:10.170 --> 00:04:12.060
    • -->
    • but I did kiss my husband before we were married.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but I did kiss my husband before we were married.
    • -->
    • 00:04:12.060 --> 00:04:14.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:12.060 --> 00:04:14.110
    • -->
    • Don't judge me.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Don't judge me.
    • -->
    • 00:04:14.110 --> 00:04:15.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:14.110 --> 00:04:15.060
    • -->
    • (ladies reacting)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (ladies reacting)
    • -->
    • 00:04:15.060 --> 00:04:16.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:15.060 --> 00:04:16.130
    • -->
    • Don't judge me, don't judge me, but we waited.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Don't judge me, don't judge me, but we waited.
    • -->
    • 00:04:16.130 --> 00:04:18.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:16.130 --> 00:04:18.240
    • -->
    • We did everything right,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We did everything right,
    • -->
    • 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:20.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:20.000
    • -->
    • so I thought you know Songs of Solomon,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • so I thought you know Songs of Solomon,
    • -->
    • 00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:21.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:21.240
    • -->
    • it's all good.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it's all good.
    • -->
    • 00:04:21.240 --> 00:04:22.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:21.240 --> 00:04:22.290
    • -->
    • Like we waited, we didn't open everything.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Like we waited, we didn't open everything.
    • -->
    • 00:04:22.290 --> 00:04:24.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:22.290 --> 00:04:24.190
    • -->
    • Everything's gonna be just heavenly and perfect.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Everything's gonna be just heavenly and perfect.
    • -->
    • 00:04:24.190 --> 00:04:27.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:24.190 --> 00:04:27.070
    • -->
    • But I was wife 2.0 for him, so he was divorced,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • But I was wife 2.0 for him, so he was divorced,
    • -->
    • 00:04:27.070 --> 00:04:31.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:27.070 --> 00:04:31.160
    • -->
    • and he had had worked through so many issues,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and he had had worked through so many issues,
    • -->
    • 00:04:31.160 --> 00:04:33.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:31.160 --> 00:04:33.210
    • -->
    • pastoral counseling, even some great
    • " data-timeend="">
    • pastoral counseling, even some great
    • -->
    • 00:04:33.210 --> 00:04:35.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:33.210 --> 00:04:35.110
    • -->
    • godly therapy and counseling,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • godly therapy and counseling,
    • -->
    • 00:04:35.110 --> 00:04:37.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:35.110 --> 00:04:37.190
    • -->
    • but he was unaware of some of the baggage
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but he was unaware of some of the baggage
    • -->
    • 00:04:37.190 --> 00:04:40.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:37.190 --> 00:04:40.060
    • -->
    • that was coming into our marriage.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that was coming into our marriage.
    • -->
    • 00:04:40.060 --> 00:04:42.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:40.060 --> 00:04:42.010
    • -->
    • And at one point I turned to him and I said,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And at one point I turned to him and I said,
    • -->
    • 00:04:42.010 --> 00:04:43.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:42.010 --> 00:04:43.260
    • -->
    • "I cannot pay for the sins of your ex-wife."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "I cannot pay for the sins of your ex-wife."
    • -->
    • 00:04:43.260 --> 00:04:46.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:43.260 --> 00:04:46.180
    • -->
    • In my first year of marriage with my husband Matt,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • In my first year of marriage with my husband Matt,
    • -->
    • 00:04:46.180 --> 00:04:48.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:46.180 --> 00:04:48.160
    • -->
    • we were experiencing some pretty severe tension.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • we were experiencing some pretty severe tension.
    • -->
    • 00:04:48.160 --> 00:04:51.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:48.160 --> 00:04:51.080
    • -->
    • Not only have I stepped into the stepmother role,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Not only have I stepped into the stepmother role,
    • -->
    • 00:04:51.080 --> 00:04:54.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:51.080 --> 00:04:54.100
    • -->
    • and became a wife, I had moved locations,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and became a wife, I had moved locations,
    • -->
    • 00:04:54.100 --> 00:04:57.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:54.100 --> 00:04:57.030
    • -->
    • I had moved vocations, and I had moved church's.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I had moved vocations, and I had moved church's.
    • -->
    • 00:04:57.030 --> 00:04:59.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:57.030 --> 00:04:59.180
    • -->
    • My whole life was in flux,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • My whole life was in flux,
    • -->
    • 00:04:59.180 --> 00:05:01.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:59.180 --> 00:05:01.040
    • -->
    • but then I started noticing these things that almost
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but then I started noticing these things that almost
    • -->
    • 00:05:01.040 --> 00:05:03.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:01.040 --> 00:05:03.110
    • -->
    • felt like a sense of a lack of trust.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • felt like a sense of a lack of trust.
    • -->
    • 00:05:03.110 --> 00:05:06.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:03.110 --> 00:05:06.120
    • -->
    • Now in my husband's previous marriage,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Now in my husband's previous marriage,
    • -->
    • 00:05:06.120 --> 00:05:08.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:06.120 --> 00:05:08.090
    • -->
    • there was infidelity multiple times.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • there was infidelity multiple times.
    • -->
    • 00:05:08.090 --> 00:05:10.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:08.090 --> 00:05:10.160
    • -->
    • What I didn't know then and I was beginning to recognize
    • " data-timeend="">
    • What I didn't know then and I was beginning to recognize
    • -->
    • 00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:13.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:13.140
    • -->
    • these hints of was a level of distrust.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • these hints of was a level of distrust.
    • -->
    • 00:05:13.140 --> 00:05:16.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:13.140 --> 00:05:16.080
    • -->
    • So in one shall we say heated moment of fellowship,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So in one shall we say heated moment of fellowship,
    • -->
    • 00:05:16.080 --> 00:05:19.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:16.080 --> 00:05:19.170
    • -->
    • we were going back and forth with some pretty strong words,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • we were going back and forth with some pretty strong words,
    • -->
    • 00:05:19.170 --> 00:05:22.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:19.170 --> 00:05:22.260
    • -->
    • and it just hit me.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and it just hit me.
    • -->
    • 00:05:22.260 --> 00:05:24.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:22.260 --> 00:05:24.140
    • -->
    • I believe it was the spirit of God,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I believe it was the spirit of God,
    • -->
    • 00:05:24.140 --> 00:05:26.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:24.140 --> 00:05:26.060
    • -->
    • but I had said, "Hey, I need you to know that you are safe.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but I had said, "Hey, I need you to know that you are safe.
    • -->
    • 00:05:26.060 --> 00:05:29.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:26.060 --> 00:05:29.220
    • -->
    • "I need you to know that I love you.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "I need you to know that I love you.
    • -->
    • 00:05:29.220 --> 00:05:31.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:29.220 --> 00:05:31.100
    • -->
    • "I need you to know that I'm never gonna leave you
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "I need you to know that I'm never gonna leave you
    • -->
    • 00:05:31.100 --> 00:05:33.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:31.100 --> 00:05:33.020
    • -->
    • "or abandon you or cheat on you.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "or abandon you or cheat on you.
    • -->
    • 00:05:33.020 --> 00:05:34.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:33.020 --> 00:05:34.260
    • -->
    • "But I cannot pay for the sins of your first wife."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "But I cannot pay for the sins of your first wife."
    • -->
    • 00:05:34.260 --> 00:05:39.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:34.260 --> 00:05:39.000
    • -->
    • That changed our relationship.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • That changed our relationship.
    • -->
    • 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:40.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:40.170
    • -->
    • So if you have a high level of self awareness
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So if you have a high level of self awareness
    • -->
    • 00:05:40.170 --> 00:05:43.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:40.170 --> 00:05:43.010
    • -->
    • and you can have a Holy Spirit conversation, amazing.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and you can have a Holy Spirit conversation, amazing.
    • -->
    • 00:05:43.010 --> 00:05:45.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:43.010 --> 00:05:45.110
    • -->
    • But can we be open enough with people that we have built
    • " data-timeend="">
    • But can we be open enough with people that we have built
    • -->
    • 00:05:45.110 --> 00:05:47.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:45.110 --> 00:05:47.260
    • -->
    • relationships with, that if they say,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • relationships with, that if they say,
    • -->
    • 00:05:47.260 --> 00:05:49.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:47.260 --> 00:05:49.260
    • -->
    • that there is a trust issue,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that there is a trust issue,
    • -->
    • 00:05:49.260 --> 00:05:51.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:49.260 --> 00:05:51.070
    • -->
    • it might be a barrier that's inhibiting us
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it might be a barrier that's inhibiting us
    • -->
    • 00:05:51.070 --> 00:05:53.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:51.070 --> 00:05:53.070
    • -->
    • from opening ourself up or being known
    • " data-timeend="">
    • from opening ourself up or being known
    • -->
    • 00:05:53.070 --> 00:05:55.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:53.070 --> 00:05:55.100
    • -->
    • which is the core of what we want.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • which is the core of what we want.
    • -->
    • 00:05:55.100 --> 00:05:56.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:55.100 --> 00:05:56.270
    • -->
    • We want to be known, seen, and loved.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We want to be known, seen, and loved.
    • -->
    • 00:05:56.270 --> 00:05:59.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:56.270 --> 00:05:59.000
    • -->
    • The totality of who we are.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • The totality of who we are.
    • -->
    • 00:05:59.000 --> 00:06:00.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:59.000 --> 00:06:00.120
    • -->
    • - Especially with trauma it's hard.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Especially with trauma it's hard.
    • -->
    • 00:06:01.180 --> 00:06:03.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:01.180 --> 00:06:03.100
    • -->
    • For someone who has suffered trauma,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • For someone who has suffered trauma,
    • -->
    • 00:06:03.100 --> 00:06:05.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:03.100 --> 00:06:05.110
    • -->
    • like either your husband that's been kind of raked
    • " data-timeend="">
    • like either your husband that's been kind of raked
    • -->
    • 00:06:05.110 --> 00:06:07.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:05.110 --> 00:06:07.210
    • -->
    • over the coals and as far as safety,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • over the coals and as far as safety,
    • -->
    • 00:06:07.210 --> 00:06:10.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:07.210 --> 00:06:10.180
    • -->
    • as far as someone who's been adopted
    • " data-timeend="">
    • as far as someone who's been adopted
    • -->
    • 00:06:10.180 --> 00:06:12.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:10.180 --> 00:06:12.270
    • -->
    • and you've suffered trauma.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and you've suffered trauma.
    • -->
    • 00:06:12.270 --> 00:06:14.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:12.270 --> 00:06:14.140
    • -->
    • I think people like myself, and like us,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I think people like myself, and like us,
    • -->
    • 00:06:14.140 --> 00:06:16.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:14.140 --> 00:06:16.280
    • -->
    • when it comes to trauma, it's a vulnerability.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • when it comes to trauma, it's a vulnerability.
    • -->
    • 00:06:18.030 --> 00:06:19.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:18.030 --> 00:06:19.290
    • -->
    • And it's hard to talk about it at times,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And it's hard to talk about it at times,
    • -->
    • 00:06:19.290 --> 00:06:22.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:19.290 --> 00:06:22.070
    • -->
    • because we're not sure if it's a safe place
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because we're not sure if it's a safe place
    • -->
    • 00:06:22.070 --> 00:06:24.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:22.070 --> 00:06:24.230
    • -->
    • to talk about it.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to talk about it.
    • -->
    • 00:06:24.230 --> 00:06:26.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:24.230 --> 00:06:26.010
    • -->
    • But when your in the context of marriage,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • But when your in the context of marriage,
    • -->
    • 00:06:26.010 --> 00:06:27.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:26.010 --> 00:06:27.220
    • -->
    • it was even challenging for me to be honest with my stuff,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it was even challenging for me to be honest with my stuff,
    • -->
    • 00:06:27.220 --> 00:06:31.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:27.220 --> 00:06:31.190
    • -->
    • my baggage, my load, and so needless to say,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • my baggage, my load, and so needless to say,
    • -->
    • 00:06:31.190 --> 00:06:35.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:31.190 --> 00:06:35.200
    • -->
    • just to share like a little snapshot,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • just to share like a little snapshot,
    • -->
    • 00:06:35.200 --> 00:06:37.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:35.200 --> 00:06:37.290
    • -->
    • my husband and I,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • my husband and I,
    • -->
    • 00:06:37.290 --> 00:06:39.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:37.290 --> 00:06:39.070
    • -->
    • we were sitting in the car before we
    • " data-timeend="">
    • we were sitting in the car before we
    • -->
    • 00:06:39.070 --> 00:06:40.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:39.070 --> 00:06:40.270
    • -->
    • even contemplated getting married,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • even contemplated getting married,
    • -->
    • 00:06:40.270 --> 00:06:43.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:40.270 --> 00:06:43.030
    • -->
    • and we just talked about our past.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and we just talked about our past.
    • -->
    • 00:06:43.030 --> 00:06:46.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:43.030 --> 00:06:46.160
    • -->
    • I wanted to be honest.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I wanted to be honest.
    • -->
    • 00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:48.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:48.010
    • -->
    • I wanted to share my life.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I wanted to share my life.
    • -->
    • 00:06:48.010 --> 00:06:50.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:48.010 --> 00:06:50.050
    • -->
    • And so, ooh.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so, ooh.
    • -->
    • 00:06:50.050 --> 00:06:51.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:50.050 --> 00:06:51.180
    • -->
    • - When you cry, everybody cries.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - When you cry, everybody cries.
    • -->
    • 00:06:54.160 --> 00:06:56.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:54.160 --> 00:06:56.080
    • -->
    • (ladies reacting)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (ladies reacting)
    • -->
    • 00:06:56.080 --> 00:06:57.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:56.080 --> 00:06:57.030
    • -->
    • I'll cry with you.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'll cry with you.
    • -->
    • 00:06:57.030 --> 00:06:58.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:57.030 --> 00:06:58.020
    • -->
    • I love her so much.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I love her so much.
    • -->
    • 00:06:58.020 --> 00:06:59.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:58.020 --> 00:06:59.170
    • -->
    • - I can't cry, but I'm sorry I don't wanna mess up my.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I can't cry, but I'm sorry I don't wanna mess up my.
    • -->
    • 00:06:59.170 --> 00:07:01.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:59.170 --> 00:07:01.120
    • -->
    • (ladies laughing)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (ladies laughing)
    • -->
    • 00:07:01.120 --> 00:07:02.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:01.120 --> 00:07:02.190
    • -->
    • - But it's when you're honest with your stuff.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - But it's when you're honest with your stuff.
    • -->
    • 00:07:02.190 --> 00:07:05.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:02.190 --> 00:07:05.170
    • -->
    • It's one thing to say and have this
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It's one thing to say and have this
    • -->
    • 00:07:05.170 --> 00:07:07.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:05.170 --> 00:07:07.150
    • -->
    • like couch type of conversation,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • like couch type of conversation,
    • -->
    • 00:07:07.150 --> 00:07:10.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:07.150 --> 00:07:10.020
    • -->
    • but when you're face to face with the person that you love,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but when you're face to face with the person that you love,
    • -->
    • 00:07:10.020 --> 00:07:13.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:10.020 --> 00:07:13.050
    • -->
    • that you're gonna do life with for a long period of time,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that you're gonna do life with for a long period of time,
    • -->
    • 00:07:13.050 --> 00:07:16.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:13.050 --> 00:07:16.240
    • -->
    • it's a whole another story.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it's a whole another story.
    • -->
    • 00:07:16.240 --> 00:07:18.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:16.240 --> 00:07:18.280
    • -->
    • Going through sexual past, history, abuse.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Going through sexual past, history, abuse.
    • -->
    • 00:07:18.280 --> 00:07:22.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:18.280 --> 00:07:22.050
    • -->
    • - It's real.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - It's real.
    • -->
    • 00:07:22.050 --> 00:07:23.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:22.050 --> 00:07:23.000
    • -->
    • - And there's so many people that they feel like if I share
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - And there's so many people that they feel like if I share
    • -->
    • 00:07:24.130 --> 00:07:28.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:24.130 --> 00:07:28.000
    • -->
    • the good, bad, and the ugly,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • the good, bad, and the ugly,
    • -->
    • 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:29.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:29.120
    • -->
    • the ugly you're gonna get stuck on
    • " data-timeend="">
    • the ugly you're gonna get stuck on
    • -->
    • 00:07:29.120 --> 00:07:31.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:29.120 --> 00:07:31.190
    • -->
    • and I don't think we'll have a healthy relationship.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and I don't think we'll have a healthy relationship.
    • -->
    • 00:07:31.190 --> 00:07:35.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:31.190 --> 00:07:35.020
    • -->
    • And I'm just so grateful that there are people in our lives
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I'm just so grateful that there are people in our lives
    • -->
    • 00:07:35.020 --> 00:07:40.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:35.020 --> 00:07:40.020
    • -->
    • that were willing to risk that vulnerability,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that were willing to risk that vulnerability,
    • -->
    • 00:07:41.060 --> 00:07:43.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:41.060 --> 00:07:43.030
    • -->
    • that they accept it,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that they accept it,
    • -->
    • 00:07:43.030 --> 00:07:44.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:43.030 --> 00:07:44.230
    • -->
    • and then they walk with you in that journey,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and then they walk with you in that journey,
    • -->
    • 00:07:44.230 --> 00:07:47.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:44.230 --> 00:07:47.070
    • -->
    • because marriage is not the apex of our lives.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because marriage is not the apex of our lives.
    • -->
    • 00:07:47.070 --> 00:07:50.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:47.070 --> 00:07:50.200
    • -->
    • It's just another process that we're going through.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It's just another process that we're going through.
    • -->
    • 00:07:50.200 --> 00:07:53.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:50.200 --> 00:07:53.140
    • -->
    • So as someone who has overcome so much,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So as someone who has overcome so much,
    • -->
    • 00:07:53.140 --> 00:07:56.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:53.140 --> 00:07:56.260
    • -->
    • I'm here to encourage you that you can have healthy,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'm here to encourage you that you can have healthy,
    • -->
    • 00:07:56.260 --> 00:07:59.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:56.260 --> 00:07:59.240
    • -->
    • a healthy sex life, you can have a healthy marriage,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • a healthy sex life, you can have a healthy marriage,
    • -->
    • 00:07:59.240 --> 00:08:03.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:59.240 --> 00:08:03.200
    • -->
    • you can raise healthy kids,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • you can raise healthy kids,
    • -->
    • 00:08:03.200 --> 00:08:05.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:03.200 --> 00:08:05.200
    • -->
    • because I've experienced the touch of Jesus in my own life.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because I've experienced the touch of Jesus in my own life.
    • -->
    • 00:08:05.200 --> 00:08:09.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:05.200 --> 00:08:09.240
    • -->
    • And so if you've struggled with identity issues,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so if you've struggled with identity issues,
    • -->
    • 00:08:09.240 --> 00:08:12.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:09.240 --> 00:08:12.290
    • -->
    • whether you struggled with intimacy issues,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • whether you struggled with intimacy issues,
    • -->
    • 00:08:12.290 --> 00:08:15.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:12.290 --> 00:08:15.060
    • -->
    • I'm here to tell you that Jesus not only heals an illness,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'm here to tell you that Jesus not only heals an illness,
    • -->
    • 00:08:15.060 --> 00:08:19.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:15.060 --> 00:08:19.200
    • -->
    • a sickness, he also heals in these areas as well,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • a sickness, he also heals in these areas as well,
    • -->
    • 00:08:19.200 --> 00:08:22.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:19.200 --> 00:08:22.250
    • -->
    • but private parts that hardly anyone gets to see.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but private parts that hardly anyone gets to see.
    • -->
    • 00:08:22.250 --> 00:08:25.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:22.250 --> 00:08:25.280
    • -->
    • When you know the Lord kind of moves the black curtain
    • " data-timeend="">
    • When you know the Lord kind of moves the black curtain
    • -->
    • 00:08:25.280 --> 00:08:29.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:25.280 --> 00:08:29.020
    • -->
    • over our lives and he goes beyond the veil,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • over our lives and he goes beyond the veil,
    • -->
    • 00:08:29.020 --> 00:08:31.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:29.020 --> 00:08:31.240
    • -->
    • and he begins to see some of these inner workings
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and he begins to see some of these inner workings
    • -->
    • 00:08:31.240 --> 00:08:34.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:31.240 --> 00:08:34.120
    • -->
    • of intimacy and that was my story.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • of intimacy and that was my story.
    • -->
    • 00:08:34.120 --> 00:08:37.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:34.120 --> 00:08:37.170
    • -->
    • Through the course of the years of our marriage,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Through the course of the years of our marriage,
    • -->
    • 00:08:37.170 --> 00:08:39.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:37.170 --> 00:08:39.250
    • -->
    • the trust was built,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • the trust was built,
    • -->
    • 00:08:39.250 --> 00:08:41.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:39.250 --> 00:08:41.260
    • -->
    • the intimacy was built,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • the intimacy was built,
    • -->
    • 00:08:41.260 --> 00:08:43.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:41.260 --> 00:08:43.210
    • -->
    • some of the things, the hangups,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • some of the things, the hangups,
    • -->
    • 00:08:43.210 --> 00:08:45.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:43.210 --> 00:08:45.070
    • -->
    • even the stuff that I was stonewalling, emotionally,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • even the stuff that I was stonewalling, emotionally,
    • -->
    • 00:08:45.070 --> 00:08:49.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:45.070 --> 00:08:49.150
    • -->
    • physically, even in the most intimate moments
    • " data-timeend="">
    • physically, even in the most intimate moments
    • -->
    • 00:08:49.150 --> 00:08:52.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:49.150 --> 00:08:52.240
    • -->
    • that I was able to bypass that and press through
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that I was able to bypass that and press through
    • -->
    • 00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:56.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:56.120
    • -->
    • and God met me there.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and God met me there.
    • -->
    • 00:08:56.120 --> 00:08:58.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:56.120 --> 00:08:58.060
    • -->
    • And so when it comes to safety, security, vulnerability,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so when it comes to safety, security, vulnerability,
    • -->
    • 00:08:58.060 --> 00:09:02.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:58.060 --> 00:09:02.050
    • -->
    • it's a real thing,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it's a real thing,
    • -->
    • 00:09:02.050 --> 00:09:03.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:02.050 --> 00:09:03.180
    • -->
    • it's a real conversation that I don't think many women
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it's a real conversation that I don't think many women
    • -->
    • 00:09:03.180 --> 00:09:06.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:03.180 --> 00:09:06.230
    • -->
    • understand that it's a risk.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • understand that it's a risk.
    • -->
    • 00:09:06.230 --> 00:09:08.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:06.230 --> 00:09:08.290
    • -->
    • Relationship is a risk.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Relationship is a risk.
    • -->
    • 00:09:08.290 --> 00:09:10.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:08.290 --> 00:09:10.170
    • -->
    • Intimacy is a risk.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Intimacy is a risk.
    • -->
    • 00:09:10.170 --> 00:09:12.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:10.170 --> 00:09:12.000
    • -->
    • Finding new friends within our world is a risk,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Finding new friends within our world is a risk,
    • -->
    • 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:15.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:15.240
    • -->
    • and so little by little you begin to make ways
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and so little by little you begin to make ways
    • -->
    • 00:09:15.240 --> 00:09:19.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:15.240 --> 00:09:19.240
    • -->
    • of just building that intimacy,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • of just building that intimacy,
    • -->
    • 00:09:19.240 --> 00:09:22.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:19.240 --> 00:09:22.100
    • -->
    • that vulnerability, and seeing that it's a safe place
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that vulnerability, and seeing that it's a safe place
    • -->
    • 00:09:22.100 --> 00:09:25.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:22.100 --> 00:09:25.030
    • -->
    • for people to grow and flourish, and thrive.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • for people to grow and flourish, and thrive.
    • -->
    • 00:09:25.030 --> 00:09:27.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:25.030 --> 00:09:27.280
    • -->
    • - I think it's a step of faith.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I think it's a step of faith.
    • -->
    • 00:09:27.280 --> 00:09:30.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:27.280 --> 00:09:30.240
    • -->
    • All of that is a step of faith to go ahead and share
    • " data-timeend="">
    • All of that is a step of faith to go ahead and share
    • -->
    • 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:34.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:34.250
    • -->
    • and to just to trust God.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and to just to trust God.
    • -->
    • 00:09:34.250 --> 00:09:37.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:34.250 --> 00:09:37.150
    • -->
    • And to guard your heart,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And to guard your heart,
    • -->
    • 00:09:37.150 --> 00:09:40.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:37.150 --> 00:09:40.030
    • -->
    • but yet be able to be in that vulnerable state
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but yet be able to be in that vulnerable state
    • -->
    • 00:09:40.030 --> 00:09:43.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:40.030 --> 00:09:43.210
    • -->
    • of sharing things.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • of sharing things.
    • -->
    • 00:09:43.210 --> 00:09:47.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:43.210 --> 00:09:47.060
    • -->
    • My husband and I,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • My husband and I,
    • -->
    • 00:09:47.060 --> 00:09:48.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:47.060 --> 00:09:48.050
    • -->
    • I was a pastor's daughter
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I was a pastor's daughter
    • -->
    • 00:09:51.270 --> 00:09:53.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:51.270 --> 00:09:53.140
    • -->
    • and wanted to save everything before marriage
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and wanted to save everything before marriage
    • -->
    • 00:09:53.140 --> 00:09:56.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:53.140 --> 00:09:56.240
    • -->
    • and then prayed that God would save my husband.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and then prayed that God would save my husband.
    • -->
    • 00:09:56.240 --> 00:09:59.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:56.240 --> 00:09:59.090
    • -->
    • And so a lot of the things that I had even prayed
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so a lot of the things that I had even prayed
    • -->
    • 00:09:59.090 --> 00:10:02.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:59.090 --> 00:10:02.160
    • -->
    • for weren't answered.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • for weren't answered.
    • -->
    • 00:10:02.160 --> 00:10:05.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:02.160 --> 00:10:05.180
    • -->
    • And I remember that the trust factor was huge with me
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I remember that the trust factor was huge with me
    • -->
    • 00:10:05.180 --> 00:10:10.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:05.180 --> 00:10:10.180
    • -->
    • and I lived in my own private
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and I lived in my own private
    • -->
    • 00:10:11.140 --> 00:10:15.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:11.140 --> 00:10:15.120
    • -->
    • and I've never shared this,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and I've never shared this,
    • -->
    • 00:10:15.120 --> 00:10:18.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:15.120 --> 00:10:18.160
    • -->
    • my own, I made hell in my brain for myself,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • my own, I made hell in my brain for myself,
    • -->
    • 00:10:18.160 --> 00:10:23.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:18.160 --> 00:10:23.160
    • -->
    • and I remember my husband looked at me one day and he said,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and I remember my husband looked at me one day and he said,
    • -->
    • 00:10:24.270 --> 00:10:29.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:24.270 --> 00:10:29.260
    • -->
    • "You act like I was just having a big party."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "You act like I was just having a big party."
    • -->
    • 00:10:31.030 --> 00:10:36.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:31.030 --> 00:10:36.010
    • -->
    • And he said, "It was the worst time of my life."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And he said, "It was the worst time of my life."
    • -->
    • 00:10:36.010 --> 00:10:38.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:36.010 --> 00:10:38.170
    • -->
    • And he said, "You have no idea the pain and the hurt."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And he said, "You have no idea the pain and the hurt."
    • -->
    • 00:10:40.070 --> 00:10:44.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:40.070 --> 00:10:44.020
    • -->
    • And that changed my whole perspective.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And that changed my whole perspective.
    • -->
    • 00:10:44.020 --> 00:10:48.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:44.020 --> 00:10:48.170
    • -->
    • And I thought, "Here I've been putting my husband
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I thought, "Here I've been putting my husband
    • -->
    • 00:10:48.170 --> 00:10:50.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:48.170 --> 00:10:50.150
    • -->
    • "through hell for the last couple of years.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "through hell for the last couple of years.
    • -->
    • 00:10:50.150 --> 00:10:53.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:50.150 --> 00:10:53.070
    • -->
    • "The first years of our marriage."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "The first years of our marriage."
    • -->
    • 00:10:53.070 --> 00:10:54.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:53.070 --> 00:10:54.190
    • -->
    • And just that, in that area,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And just that, in that area,
    • -->
    • 00:10:54.190 --> 00:10:56.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:54.190 --> 00:10:56.120
    • -->
    • and all because of what was going on in my brain.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and all because of what was going on in my brain.
    • -->
    • 00:10:58.100 --> 00:11:01.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:58.100 --> 00:11:01.180
    • -->
    • In my mind.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • In my mind.
    • -->
    • 00:11:01.180 --> 00:11:03.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:01.180 --> 00:11:03.130
    • -->
    • The biggest battlefield we have is right here.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • The biggest battlefield we have is right here.
    • -->
    • 00:11:03.130 --> 00:11:06.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:03.130 --> 00:11:06.060
    • -->
    • (laughs)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (laughs)
    • -->
    • 00:11:06.060 --> 00:11:07.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:06.060 --> 00:11:07.010
    • -->
    • It's between our ears.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It's between our ears.
    • -->
    • 00:11:07.010 --> 00:11:08.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:07.010 --> 00:11:08.150
    • -->
    • And I think we make life so difficult for ourselves,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I think we make life so difficult for ourselves,
    • -->
    • 00:11:08.150 --> 00:11:13.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:08.150 --> 00:11:13.000
    • -->
    • by just not taking all of those thoughts captive,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • by just not taking all of those thoughts captive,
    • -->
    • 00:11:13.000 --> 00:11:17.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:13.000 --> 00:11:17.050
    • -->
    • like Jesus said, he said,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • like Jesus said, he said,
    • -->
    • 00:11:17.050 --> 00:11:18.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:17.050 --> 00:11:18.270
    • -->
    • "Casting down all thoughts and imaginations."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Casting down all thoughts and imaginations."
    • -->
    • 00:11:18.270 --> 00:11:22.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:18.270 --> 00:11:22.280
    • -->
    • Things that are against the knowledge of God.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Things that are against the knowledge of God.
    • -->
    • 00:11:22.280 --> 00:11:24.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:22.280 --> 00:11:24.230
    • -->
    • Things that aren't true.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Things that aren't true.
    • -->
    • 00:11:24.230 --> 00:11:26.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:24.230 --> 00:11:26.070
    • -->
    • Sometimes we just dwell on things that aren't even true.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Sometimes we just dwell on things that aren't even true.
    • -->
    • 00:11:26.070 --> 00:11:29.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:26.070 --> 00:11:29.070
    • -->
    • Things that enemy tries to put in our minds.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Things that enemy tries to put in our minds.
    • -->
    • 00:11:29.070 --> 00:11:32.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:29.070 --> 00:11:32.020
    • -->
    • That stop us and make us mad or just try to choke off
    • " data-timeend="">
    • That stop us and make us mad or just try to choke off
    • -->
    • 00:11:32.020 --> 00:11:37.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:32.020 --> 00:11:37.020
    • -->
    • the life that God has for us.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • the life that God has for us.
    • -->
    • 00:11:37.280 --> 00:11:40.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:37.280 --> 00:11:40.180
    • -->
    • So I think we can make a private hell for ourselves.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So I think we can make a private hell for ourselves.
    • -->
    • 00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:45.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:45.090
    • -->
    • And to be able to release that to God and to be healed
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And to be able to release that to God and to be healed
    • -->
    • 00:11:45.090 --> 00:11:48.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:45.090 --> 00:11:48.240
    • -->
    • on the inside from insecurity or that's a huge thing
    • " data-timeend="">
    • on the inside from insecurity or that's a huge thing
    • -->
    • 00:11:48.240 --> 00:11:52.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:48.240 --> 00:11:52.270
    • -->
    • and I know so many people that have been abused.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and I know so many people that have been abused.
    • -->
    • 00:11:52.270 --> 00:11:56.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:52.270 --> 00:11:56.030
    • -->
    • And to be healed from that.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And to be healed from that.
    • -->
    • 00:11:56.030 --> 00:11:58.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:56.030 --> 00:11:58.150
    • -->
    • We need to be healed from that.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We need to be healed from that.
    • -->
    • 00:11:58.150 --> 00:12:01.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:58.150 --> 00:12:01.080
    • -->
    • - What do you guys think about therapy.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - What do you guys think about therapy.
    • -->
    • 00:12:01.080 --> 00:12:02.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:01.080 --> 00:12:02.250
    • -->
    • I feel like it's becoming more popular now.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I feel like it's becoming more popular now.
    • -->
    • 00:12:02.250 --> 00:12:05.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:02.250 --> 00:12:05.010
    • -->
    • - [Dianna] It's powerful.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - [Dianna] It's powerful.
    • -->
    • 00:12:05.010 --> 00:12:06.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:05.010 --> 00:12:06.290
    • -->
    • Christian therapy--
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Christian therapy--
    • -->
    • 00:12:06.290 --> 00:12:08.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:06.290 --> 00:12:08.070
    • -->
    • - I was gonna say Christian therapy.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I was gonna say Christian therapy.
    • -->
    • 00:12:08.070 --> 00:12:09.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:08.070 --> 00:12:09.180
    • -->
    • - Christian therapy is very powerful.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Christian therapy is very powerful.
    • -->
    • 00:12:09.180 --> 00:12:10.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:09.180 --> 00:12:10.270
    • -->
    • I actually went to a therapist a few times
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I actually went to a therapist a few times
    • -->
    • 00:12:10.270 --> 00:12:12.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:10.270 --> 00:12:12.210
    • -->
    • because I said, I felt like I was fine,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because I said, I felt like I was fine,
    • -->
    • 00:12:12.210 --> 00:12:15.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:12.210 --> 00:12:15.080
    • -->
    • but I was like let me go and make sure,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but I was like let me go and make sure,
    • -->
    • 00:12:15.080 --> 00:12:17.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:15.080 --> 00:12:17.180
    • -->
    • because I'm pouring out.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because I'm pouring out.
    • -->
    • 00:12:17.180 --> 00:12:18.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:17.180 --> 00:12:18.210
    • -->
    • We're all in ministry.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We're all in ministry.
    • -->
    • 00:12:18.210 --> 00:12:20.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:18.210 --> 00:12:20.090
    • -->
    • If you're constantly pouring out all the time,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • If you're constantly pouring out all the time,
    • -->
    • 00:12:20.090 --> 00:12:22.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:20.090 --> 00:12:22.150
    • -->
    • who's pouring back into you?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • who's pouring back into you?
    • -->
    • 00:12:22.150 --> 00:12:23.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:22.150 --> 00:12:23.220
    • -->
    • Yes you could go spend time with the Lord,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Yes you could go spend time with the Lord,
    • -->
    • 00:12:23.220 --> 00:12:25.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:23.220 --> 00:12:25.060
    • -->
    • but I think being in ministry sometimes you get elevated
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but I think being in ministry sometimes you get elevated
    • -->
    • 00:12:25.060 --> 00:12:27.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:25.060 --> 00:12:27.210
    • -->
    • to this level and everybody's like,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to this level and everybody's like,
    • -->
    • 00:12:27.210 --> 00:12:29.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:27.210 --> 00:12:29.050
    • -->
    • "Oh you're so great, you never go through anything."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Oh you're so great, you never go through anything."
    • -->
    • 00:12:29.050 --> 00:12:31.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:29.050 --> 00:12:31.110
    • -->
    • So I went to a therapist a few times.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So I went to a therapist a few times.
    • -->
    • 00:12:31.110 --> 00:12:32.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:31.110 --> 00:12:32.240
    • -->
    • I'm like talk this out with me make sure
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'm like talk this out with me make sure
    • -->
    • 00:12:32.240 --> 00:12:34.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:32.240 --> 00:12:34.060
    • -->
    • that I'm okay for upkeep.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that I'm okay for upkeep.
    • -->
    • 00:12:34.060 --> 00:12:35.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:34.060 --> 00:12:35.170
    • -->
    • But I feel like therapy's a good thing.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • But I feel like therapy's a good thing.
    • -->
    • 00:12:35.170 --> 00:12:37.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:35.170 --> 00:12:37.090
    • -->
    • If you have been through some type of abuse,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • If you have been through some type of abuse,
    • -->
    • 00:12:37.090 --> 00:12:39.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:37.090 --> 00:12:39.070
    • -->
    • some type of trauma, you're adopted, rejection, if you're--
    • " data-timeend="">
    • some type of trauma, you're adopted, rejection, if you're--
    • -->
    • 00:12:39.070 --> 00:12:42.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:39.070 --> 00:12:42.160
    • -->
    • - Betrayal. - Betrayal, divorce,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Betrayal. - Betrayal, divorce,
    • -->
    • 00:12:42.160 --> 00:12:44.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:42.160 --> 00:12:44.200
    • -->
    • all those different things.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • all those different things.
    • -->
    • 00:12:44.200 --> 00:12:46.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:44.200 --> 00:12:46.080
    • -->
    • Don't fight the battle by yourself.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Don't fight the battle by yourself.
    • -->
    • 00:12:46.080 --> 00:12:47.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:46.080 --> 00:12:47.290
    • -->
    • You need to have a game plan,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You need to have a game plan,
    • -->
    • 00:12:47.290 --> 00:12:49.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:47.290 --> 00:12:49.280
    • -->
    • because the enemy is trying to attack you.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because the enemy is trying to attack you.
    • -->
    • 00:12:49.280 --> 00:12:51.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:49.280 --> 00:12:51.240
    • -->
    • - Singles need to heal absolutely from their past
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Singles need to heal absolutely from their past
    • -->
    • 00:12:51.240 --> 00:12:55.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:51.240 --> 00:12:55.090
    • -->
    • before pursuing another relationship.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • before pursuing another relationship.
    • -->
    • 00:12:55.090 --> 00:12:57.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:55.090 --> 00:12:57.060
    • -->
    • Because you'll bring the hurt with you.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Because you'll bring the hurt with you.
    • -->
    • 00:12:57.060 --> 00:12:59.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:57.060 --> 00:12:59.290
    • -->
    • Now I will say this,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Now I will say this,
    • -->
    • 00:12:59.290 --> 00:13:01.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:59.290 --> 00:13:01.150
    • -->
    • there are certain hurts though that can only be healed
    • " data-timeend="">
    • there are certain hurts though that can only be healed
    • -->
    • 00:13:01.150 --> 00:13:04.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:01.150 --> 00:13:04.040
    • -->
    • in another relationship.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • in another relationship.
    • -->
    • 00:13:04.040 --> 00:13:05.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:04.040 --> 00:13:05.290
    • -->
    • So there are certain parts of it that has to be healed
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So there are certain parts of it that has to be healed
    • -->
    • 00:13:05.290 --> 00:13:08.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:05.290 --> 00:13:08.210
    • -->
    • prior to, counseling is great,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • prior to, counseling is great,
    • -->
    • 00:13:08.210 --> 00:13:10.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:08.210 --> 00:13:10.240
    • -->
    • and that might be professional counseling,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and that might be professional counseling,
    • -->
    • 00:13:10.240 --> 00:13:12.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:10.240 --> 00:13:12.120
    • -->
    • it might be pastors, it might be community,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it might be pastors, it might be community,
    • -->
    • 00:13:12.120 --> 00:13:15.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:12.120 --> 00:13:15.110
    • -->
    • but I pray that it would always be godly.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but I pray that it would always be godly.
    • -->
    • 00:13:15.110 --> 00:13:17.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:15.110 --> 00:13:17.270
    • -->
    • But until you heal in certain areas,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • But until you heal in certain areas,
    • -->
    • 00:13:17.270 --> 00:13:20.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:17.270 --> 00:13:20.170
    • -->
    • you won't be able to grow.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • you won't be able to grow.
    • -->
    • 00:13:20.170 --> 00:13:22.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:20.170 --> 00:13:22.220
    • -->
    • And I believe that healing always starts with forgiveness.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I believe that healing always starts with forgiveness.
    • -->
    • 00:13:22.220 --> 00:13:27.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:22.220 --> 00:13:27.030
    • -->
    • That's giving forgiveness and receiving forgiveness.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • That's giving forgiveness and receiving forgiveness.
    • -->
    • 00:13:27.030 --> 00:13:29.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:27.030 --> 00:13:29.250
    • -->
    • Giving forgiveness to those who wronged you
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Giving forgiveness to those who wronged you
    • -->
    • 00:13:29.250 --> 00:13:31.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:29.250 --> 00:13:31.210
    • -->
    • and receiving forgiveness in areas
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and receiving forgiveness in areas
    • -->
    • 00:13:31.210 --> 00:13:33.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:31.210 --> 00:13:33.090
    • -->
    • that you have wronged someone else.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that you have wronged someone else.
    • -->
    • 00:13:33.090 --> 00:13:35.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:33.090 --> 00:13:35.110
    • -->
    • Without that I don't believe that healing is possible.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Without that I don't believe that healing is possible.
    • -->
    • 00:13:35.110 --> 00:13:37.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:35.110 --> 00:13:37.270
    • -->
    • With that, it's definitely attainable, definitely.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • With that, it's definitely attainable, definitely.
    • -->
    • 00:13:37.270 --> 00:13:40.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:37.270 --> 00:13:40.240
    • -->
    • And so I believe as a single,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so I believe as a single,
    • -->
    • 00:13:40.240 --> 00:13:43.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:40.240 --> 00:13:43.280
    • -->
    • that in order to move forward,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that in order to move forward,
    • -->
    • 00:13:43.280 --> 00:13:45.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:43.280 --> 00:13:45.150
    • -->
    • you have to have these tools, you have to heal,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • you have to have these tools, you have to heal,
    • -->
    • 00:13:45.150 --> 00:13:47.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:45.150 --> 00:13:47.260
    • -->
    • Connect with us on social media to share your take
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Connect with us on social media to share your take
    • -->
    • 00:13:49.090 --> 00:13:51.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:49.090 --> 00:13:51.190
    • -->
    • on today's topic.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • on today's topic.
    • -->
    • 00:13:51.190 --> 00:13:53.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:51.190 --> 00:13:53.040
    • -->
    • - Ask a question using the hashtag #askbettertogether.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Ask a question using the hashtag #askbettertogether.
    • -->
    • 00:13:53.040 --> 00:13:56.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:53.040 --> 00:13:56.100
    • -->
    • - Or share a prayer request.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Or share a prayer request.
    • -->
    • 00:13:56.100 --> 00:13:57.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:56.100 --> 00:13:57.250
    • -->
    • - Our conversations are not complete without you.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Our conversations are not complete without you.
    • -->
    • 00:13:57.250 --> 00:14:00.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:57.250 --> 00:14:00.190
    • -->
    • (soft music)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (soft music)
    • -->
    • 00:14:00.190 --> 00:14:03.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:00.190 --> 00:14:03.190
    • -->
    • - Even Pastor Jimmy Evans he wrote, with another pastor,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Even Pastor Jimmy Evans he wrote, with another pastor,
    • -->
    • 00:14:03.190 --> 00:14:07.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:03.190 --> 00:14:07.140
    • -->
    • of strength based marriages,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • of strength based marriages,
    • -->
    • 00:14:07.140 --> 00:14:09.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:07.140 --> 00:14:09.100
    • -->
    • and when you do the test, he was on Praise with us,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and when you do the test, he was on Praise with us,
    • -->
    • 00:14:09.100 --> 00:14:12.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:09.100 --> 00:14:12.220
    • -->
    • and just to hear them talk back about who you are
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and just to hear them talk back about who you are
    • -->
    • 00:14:12.220 --> 00:14:16.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:12.220 --> 00:14:16.220
    • -->
    • on the inside and how you fit together,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • on the inside and how you fit together,
    • -->
    • 00:14:16.220 --> 00:14:19.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:16.220 --> 00:14:19.030
    • -->
    • it just shines light on so many things and I think that's
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it just shines light on so many things and I think that's
    • -->
    • 00:14:19.030 --> 00:14:23.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:19.030 --> 00:14:23.150
    • -->
    • what therapy can do, it can shed light on stuff,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • what therapy can do, it can shed light on stuff,
    • -->
    • 00:14:23.150 --> 00:14:26.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:23.150 --> 00:14:26.090
    • -->
    • that you just kind of go,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that you just kind of go,
    • -->
    • 00:14:26.090 --> 00:14:27.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:26.090 --> 00:14:27.070
    • -->
    • "Huh, yeah you're right."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Huh, yeah you're right."
    • -->
    • 00:14:27.070 --> 00:14:29.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:27.070 --> 00:14:29.270
    • -->
    • And reading good books. - Hearing a third perspective.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And reading good books. - Hearing a third perspective.
    • -->
    • 00:14:29.270 --> 00:14:31.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:29.270 --> 00:14:31.250
    • -->
    • A third perspective,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • A third perspective,
    • -->
    • 00:14:31.250 --> 00:14:33.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:31.250 --> 00:14:33.020
    • -->
    • just to be on the outside looking in.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • just to be on the outside looking in.
    • -->
    • 00:14:33.020 --> 00:14:34.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:33.020 --> 00:14:34.180
    • -->
    • - [Laurie] Something that you get out of the weeds.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - [Laurie] Something that you get out of the weeds.
    • -->
    • 00:14:34.180 --> 00:14:36.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:34.180 --> 00:14:36.020
    • -->
    • - What we realized in our first year of marriage
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - What we realized in our first year of marriage
    • -->
    • 00:14:36.020 --> 00:14:37.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:36.020 --> 00:14:37.150
    • -->
    • is I wanted to deal with it privately.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • is I wanted to deal with it privately.
    • -->
    • 00:14:37.150 --> 00:14:39.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:37.150 --> 00:14:39.150
    • -->
    • I didn't want anyone to know that we were having issues
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I didn't want anyone to know that we were having issues
    • -->
    • 00:14:39.150 --> 00:14:41.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:39.150 --> 00:14:41.280
    • -->
    • and then my husband's on staff at a church,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and then my husband's on staff at a church,
    • -->
    • 00:14:41.280 --> 00:14:44.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:41.280 --> 00:14:44.030
    • -->
    • and I was just like, this is,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and I was just like, this is,
    • -->
    • 00:14:44.030 --> 00:14:45.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:44.030 --> 00:14:45.210
    • -->
    • I waited, we did everything right,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I waited, we did everything right,
    • -->
    • 00:14:45.210 --> 00:14:47.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:45.210 --> 00:14:47.040
    • -->
    • we shouldn't have issues.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • we shouldn't have issues.
    • -->
    • 00:14:47.040 --> 00:14:48.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:47.040 --> 00:14:48.190
    • -->
    • And so the first year I think we silently suffered
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so the first year I think we silently suffered
    • -->
    • 00:14:48.190 --> 00:14:50.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:48.190 --> 00:14:50.210
    • -->
    • and it wasn't until I just kind of put pride aside,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and it wasn't until I just kind of put pride aside,
    • -->
    • 00:14:50.210 --> 00:14:53.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:50.210 --> 00:14:53.130
    • -->
    • it was also stigmatized growing up.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it was also stigmatized growing up.
    • -->
    • 00:14:53.130 --> 00:14:54.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:53.130 --> 00:14:54.260
    • -->
    • It was like that's only for ill people
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It was like that's only for ill people
    • -->
    • 00:14:54.260 --> 00:14:57.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:54.260 --> 00:14:57.150
    • -->
    • or that's a only for people who can't control--
    • " data-timeend="">
    • or that's a only for people who can't control--
    • -->
    • 00:14:57.150 --> 00:15:00.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:57.150 --> 00:15:00.120
    • -->
    • - That was the perception.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - That was the perception.
    • -->
    • 00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:01.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:01.160
    • -->
    • - That was the perception.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - That was the perception.
    • -->
    • 00:15:01.160 --> 00:15:02.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:01.160 --> 00:15:02.290
    • -->
    • That was totally the perception and my husband was the one
    • " data-timeend="">
    • That was totally the perception and my husband was the one
    • -->
    • 00:15:02.290 --> 00:15:04.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:02.290 --> 00:15:04.130
    • -->
    • that was like encouraging me to step in
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that was like encouraging me to step in
    • -->
    • 00:15:04.130 --> 00:15:06.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:04.130 --> 00:15:06.260
    • -->
    • and I was the one that was reticent to saying yes,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and I was the one that was reticent to saying yes,
    • -->
    • 00:15:06.260 --> 00:15:08.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:06.260 --> 00:15:08.280
    • -->
    • because I was afraid of public perception.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because I was afraid of public perception.
    • -->
    • 00:15:08.280 --> 00:15:11.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:08.280 --> 00:15:11.130
    • -->
    • Had it not been for the saving grace of Jesus Christ
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Had it not been for the saving grace of Jesus Christ
    • -->
    • 00:15:11.130 --> 00:15:14.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:11.130 --> 00:15:14.170
    • -->
    • in our marriage, and a phenomenal counselor,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • in our marriage, and a phenomenal counselor,
    • -->
    • 00:15:14.170 --> 00:15:17.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:14.170 --> 00:15:17.000
    • -->
    • that we still love and see for tune ups and check ins.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that we still love and see for tune ups and check ins.
    • -->
    • 00:15:17.000 --> 00:15:19.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:17.000 --> 00:15:19.280
    • -->
    • I really wonder, I wonder if we would be here today?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I really wonder, I wonder if we would be here today?
    • -->
    • 00:15:19.280 --> 00:15:24.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:19.280 --> 00:15:24.010
    • -->
    • I really do.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I really do.
    • -->
    • 00:15:25.010 --> 00:15:26.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:25.010 --> 00:15:26.070
    • -->
    • It was, I mean, we're a blended family.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It was, I mean, we're a blended family.
    • -->
    • 00:15:26.070 --> 00:15:27.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:26.070 --> 00:15:27.260
    • -->
    • Well he had two kids, I had no kids,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Well he had two kids, I had no kids,
    • -->
    • 00:15:27.260 --> 00:15:30.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:27.260 --> 00:15:30.040
    • -->
    • I'd never married, he had been married.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'd never married, he had been married.
    • -->
    • 00:15:30.040 --> 00:15:31.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:30.040 --> 00:15:31.270
    • -->
    • I'm moving from LA to Orange County,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'm moving from LA to Orange County,
    • -->
    • 00:15:31.270 --> 00:15:33.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:31.270 --> 00:15:33.280
    • -->
    • my life is turned upside down. - It's a big deal.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • my life is turned upside down. - It's a big deal.
    • -->
    • 00:15:33.280 --> 00:15:35.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:33.280 --> 00:15:35.270
    • -->
    • - So we were, it was blending together,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - So we were, it was blending together,
    • -->
    • 00:15:35.270 --> 00:15:38.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:35.270 --> 00:15:38.130
    • -->
    • it was crazy and his communication style,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it was crazy and his communication style,
    • -->
    • 00:15:38.130 --> 00:15:40.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:38.130 --> 00:15:40.230
    • -->
    • my communication style,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • my communication style,
    • -->
    • 00:15:40.230 --> 00:15:42.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:40.230 --> 00:15:42.080
    • -->
    • his love languages, my love languages.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • his love languages, my love languages.
    • -->
    • 00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:43.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:43.250
    • -->
    • His enneagram number, my enneagram number.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • His enneagram number, my enneagram number.
    • -->
    • 00:15:43.250 --> 00:15:45.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:43.250 --> 00:15:45.070
    • -->
    • It was like why are you--
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It was like why are you--
    • -->
    • 00:15:45.070 --> 00:15:46.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:45.070 --> 00:15:46.130
    • -->
    • - See abort, opposite.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - See abort, opposite.
    • -->
    • 00:15:46.130 --> 00:15:48.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:46.130 --> 00:15:48.040
    • -->
    • - [Bianca] Absolutely, absolutely.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - [Bianca] Absolutely, absolutely.
    • -->
    • 00:15:48.040 --> 00:15:50.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:48.040 --> 00:15:50.250
    • -->
    • - You know so many of us I think we're trained
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - You know so many of us I think we're trained
    • -->
    • 00:15:50.250 --> 00:15:53.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:50.250 --> 00:15:53.030
    • -->
    • to write our list and tell God what we wanted in a man
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to write our list and tell God what we wanted in a man
    • -->
    • 00:15:53.030 --> 00:15:56.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:53.030 --> 00:15:56.140
    • -->
    • and all that.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and all that.
    • -->
    • 00:15:56.140 --> 00:15:57.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:56.140 --> 00:15:57.210
    • -->
    • Well maybe your list wasn't fulfilled,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Well maybe your list wasn't fulfilled,
    • -->
    • 00:15:57.210 --> 00:16:00.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:57.210 --> 00:16:00.050
    • -->
    • maybe you got some stuff maybe you didn't have on your list.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • maybe you got some stuff maybe you didn't have on your list.
    • -->
    • 00:16:00.050 --> 00:16:03.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:00.050 --> 00:16:03.010
    • -->
    • Yeah that's not on here, but maybe that's what you got.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Yeah that's not on here, but maybe that's what you got.
    • -->
    • 00:16:03.010 --> 00:16:06.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:03.010 --> 00:16:06.060
    • -->
    • I think it's so important to see our husbands
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I think it's so important to see our husbands
    • -->
    • 00:16:06.060 --> 00:16:09.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:06.060 --> 00:16:09.020
    • -->
    • the way God sees 'em
    • " data-timeend="">
    • the way God sees 'em
    • -->
    • 00:16:09.020 --> 00:16:10.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:09.020 --> 00:16:10.120
    • -->
    • and to hone in on those gifts and those talents
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and to hone in on those gifts and those talents
    • -->
    • 00:16:10.120 --> 00:16:15.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:10.120 --> 00:16:15.120
    • -->
    • and speak life into the good things that your husband is.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and speak life into the good things that your husband is.
    • -->
    • 00:16:16.260 --> 00:16:21.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:16.260 --> 00:16:21.160
    • -->
    • God knows more about you than anybody else does.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • God knows more about you than anybody else does.
    • -->
    • 00:16:22.220 --> 00:16:26.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:22.220 --> 00:16:26.160
    • -->
    • He knew what you needed.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • He knew what you needed.
    • -->
    • 00:16:26.160 --> 00:16:28.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:26.160 --> 00:16:28.080
    • -->
    • God knew what I needed and he gave me exactly what I needed.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • God knew what I needed and he gave me exactly what I needed.
    • -->
    • 00:16:28.080 --> 00:16:33.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:28.080 --> 00:16:33.080
    • -->
    • - But we just needed tools and counseling provided healthy
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - But we just needed tools and counseling provided healthy
    • -->
    • 00:16:34.210 --> 00:16:36.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:34.210 --> 00:16:36.200
    • -->
    • communication to remove the barriers to the intimacy
    • " data-timeend="">
    • communication to remove the barriers to the intimacy
    • -->
    • 00:16:36.200 --> 00:16:39.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:36.200 --> 00:16:39.200
    • -->
    • we both really wanted there.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • we both really wanted there.
    • -->
    • 00:16:39.200 --> 00:16:41.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:39.200 --> 00:16:41.120
    • -->
    • - Back to the trust issue really quickly too.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Back to the trust issue really quickly too.
    • -->
    • 00:16:42.230 --> 00:16:44.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:42.230 --> 00:16:44.110
    • -->
    • I wanted to say, I think sometimes we forget, even as women,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I wanted to say, I think sometimes we forget, even as women,
    • -->
    • 00:16:44.110 --> 00:16:48.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:44.110 --> 00:16:48.010
    • -->
    • that really you can't put complete trust in anybody.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that really you can't put complete trust in anybody.
    • -->
    • 00:16:48.010 --> 00:16:51.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:48.010 --> 00:16:51.190
    • -->
    • Not a spouse, not a boyfriend, not a fiance,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Not a spouse, not a boyfriend, not a fiance,
    • -->
    • 00:16:51.190 --> 00:16:54.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:51.190 --> 00:16:54.280
    • -->
    • only the bible says like "Cursed is he who puts faith
    • " data-timeend="">
    • only the bible says like "Cursed is he who puts faith
    • -->
    • 00:16:54.280 --> 00:16:58.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:54.280 --> 00:16:58.000
    • -->
    • "in arm of the flesh."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "in arm of the flesh."
    • -->
    • 00:16:58.000 --> 00:16:59.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:58.000 --> 00:16:59.150
    • -->
    • So it really has to be on the Lord.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So it really has to be on the Lord.
    • -->
    • 00:16:59.150 --> 00:17:01.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:59.150 --> 00:17:01.130
    • -->
    • And I think, because some people think that if,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I think, because some people think that if,
    • -->
    • 00:17:01.130 --> 00:17:03.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:01.130 --> 00:17:03.280
    • -->
    • they go to the worst.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • they go to the worst.
    • -->
    • 00:17:05.100 --> 00:17:06.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:05.100 --> 00:17:06.090
    • -->
    • What if the worst happens?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • What if the worst happens?
    • -->
    • 00:17:06.090 --> 00:17:07.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:06.090 --> 00:17:07.240
    • -->
    • That's the thing that they fear the most,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • That's the thing that they fear the most,
    • -->
    • 00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:10.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:10.020
    • -->
    • therefore they can't trust.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • therefore they can't trust.
    • -->
    • 00:17:10.020 --> 00:17:11.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:10.020 --> 00:17:11.190
    • -->
    • What if he leaves me?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • What if he leaves me?
    • -->
    • 00:17:11.190 --> 00:17:12.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:11.190 --> 00:17:12.190
    • -->
    • What if he doesn't like me?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • What if he doesn't like me?
    • -->
    • 00:17:12.190 --> 00:17:13.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:12.190 --> 00:17:13.190
    • -->
    • What if he rejects me?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • What if he rejects me?
    • -->
    • 00:17:13.190 --> 00:17:14.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:13.190 --> 00:17:14.190
    • -->
    • What if he cheats?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • What if he cheats?
    • -->
    • 00:17:14.190 --> 00:17:15.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:14.190 --> 00:17:15.150
    • -->
    • What if he beats me?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • What if he beats me?
    • -->
    • 00:17:15.150 --> 00:17:16.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:15.150 --> 00:17:16.230
    • -->
    • We have all these fears.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We have all these fears.
    • -->
    • 00:17:16.230 --> 00:17:18.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:16.230 --> 00:17:18.070
    • -->
    • And I can just say honestly that even if the worst happens,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I can just say honestly that even if the worst happens,
    • -->
    • 00:17:18.070 --> 00:17:22.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:18.070 --> 00:17:22.180
    • -->
    • I've had the worst happen, God is still there.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I've had the worst happen, God is still there.
    • -->
    • 00:17:22.180 --> 00:17:25.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:22.180 --> 00:17:25.210
    • -->
    • When it comes to the trust issue,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • When it comes to the trust issue,
    • -->
    • 00:17:25.210 --> 00:17:27.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:25.210 --> 00:17:27.290
    • -->
    • for me it has to be rooted in Christ
    • " data-timeend="">
    • for me it has to be rooted in Christ
    • -->
    • 00:17:27.290 --> 00:17:30.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:27.290 --> 00:17:30.260
    • -->
    • and this is what I've learned in my umpteen years
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and this is what I've learned in my umpteen years
    • -->
    • 00:17:30.260 --> 00:17:33.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:30.260 --> 00:17:33.280
    • -->
    • of doing relationships, some well and some not so well.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • of doing relationships, some well and some not so well.
    • -->
    • 00:17:33.280 --> 00:17:37.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:33.280 --> 00:17:37.000
    • -->
    • Is that really until I can place my hope
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Is that really until I can place my hope
    • -->
    • 00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:40.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:40.110
    • -->
    • and my trust for real.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and my trust for real.
    • -->
    • 00:17:40.110 --> 00:17:41.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:40.110 --> 00:17:41.260
    • -->
    • Not just in saying it.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Not just in saying it.
    • -->
    • 00:17:41.260 --> 00:17:43.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:41.260 --> 00:17:43.130
    • -->
    • But place it for real in the lap, in the hands,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • But place it for real in the lap, in the hands,
    • -->
    • 00:17:43.130 --> 00:17:46.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:43.130 --> 00:17:46.170
    • -->
    • and in the arms of Jesus Christ,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and in the arms of Jesus Christ,
    • -->
    • 00:17:46.170 --> 00:17:48.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:46.170 --> 00:17:48.250
    • -->
    • then I can't trust you, small T,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • then I can't trust you, small T,
    • -->
    • 00:17:48.250 --> 00:17:51.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:48.250 --> 00:17:51.010
    • -->
    • util I can trust him, capital T.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • util I can trust him, capital T.
    • -->
    • 00:17:51.010 --> 00:17:53.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:51.010 --> 00:17:53.150
    • -->
    • I can't trust anyone else, but when I began to trust him
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I can't trust anyone else, but when I began to trust him
    • -->
    • 00:17:53.150 --> 00:17:57.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:53.150 --> 00:17:57.000
    • -->
    • and give him my heart, my affections, and say okay,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and give him my heart, my affections, and say okay,
    • -->
    • 00:17:57.000 --> 00:17:59.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:57.000 --> 00:17:59.250
    • -->
    • I'm giving you my heart this time.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'm giving you my heart this time.
    • -->
    • 00:17:59.250 --> 00:18:01.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:59.250 --> 00:18:01.120
    • -->
    • I'm not giving it to him.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'm not giving it to him.
    • -->
    • 00:18:01.120 --> 00:18:02.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:01.120 --> 00:18:02.110
    • -->
    • I'm not giving it to them.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'm not giving it to them.
    • -->
    • 00:18:02.110 --> 00:18:03.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:02.110 --> 00:18:03.260
    • -->
    • I'm giving it to you.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'm giving it to you.
    • -->
    • 00:18:03.260 --> 00:18:05.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:03.260 --> 00:18:05.110
    • -->
    • And I'm asking you to lead and guide me in the way
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I'm asking you to lead and guide me in the way
    • -->
    • 00:18:05.110 --> 00:18:07.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:05.110 --> 00:18:07.100
    • -->
    • that I should go.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that I should go.
    • -->
    • 00:18:07.100 --> 00:18:08.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:07.100 --> 00:18:08.240
    • -->
    • If you get hurt, I'll heal you.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • If you get hurt, I'll heal you.
    • -->
    • 00:18:08.240 --> 00:18:10.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:08.240 --> 00:18:10.230
    • -->
    • - Trusting the Lord with all your heart.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Trusting the Lord with all your heart.
    • -->
    • 00:18:11.290 --> 00:18:13.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:11.290 --> 00:18:13.040
    • -->
    • - All your heart, yes.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - All your heart, yes.
    • -->
    • 00:18:13.040 --> 00:18:15.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:13.040 --> 00:18:15.050
    • -->
    • It comes back to that.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It comes back to that.
    • -->
    • 00:18:15.050 --> 00:18:16.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:15.050 --> 00:18:16.220
    • -->
    • It really does. - It really does.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It really does. - It really does.
    • -->
    • 00:18:16.220 --> 00:18:18.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:16.220 --> 00:18:18.070
    • -->
    • - And casting your care unto the Lord,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - And casting your care unto the Lord,
    • -->
    • 00:18:18.070 --> 00:18:20.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:18.070 --> 00:18:20.010
    • -->
    • 'cause I feel like in every season of you life,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 'cause I feel like in every season of you life,
    • -->
    • 00:18:20.010 --> 00:18:22.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:20.010 --> 00:18:22.120
    • -->
    • especially when you have children,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • especially when you have children,
    • -->
    • 00:18:22.120 --> 00:18:24.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:22.120 --> 00:18:24.190
    • -->
    • then you go through different levels.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • then you go through different levels.
    • -->
    • 00:18:24.190 --> 00:18:25.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:24.190 --> 00:18:25.260
    • -->
    • When you're pregnant, you have the fear,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • When you're pregnant, you have the fear,
    • -->
    • 00:18:25.260 --> 00:18:27.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:25.260 --> 00:18:27.070
    • -->
    • what if I have a miscarriage?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • what if I have a miscarriage?
    • -->
    • 00:18:27.070 --> 00:18:28.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:27.070 --> 00:18:28.090
    • -->
    • Then you're baby gets here,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Then you're baby gets here,
    • -->
    • 00:18:28.090 --> 00:18:29.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:28.090 --> 00:18:29.170
    • -->
    • then you worry what if SIDS happens and then,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • then you worry what if SIDS happens and then,
    • -->
    • 00:18:29.170 --> 00:18:31.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:29.170 --> 00:18:31.260
    • -->
    • year one happens, and it's like,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • year one happens, and it's like,
    • -->
    • 00:18:31.260 --> 00:18:32.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:31.260 --> 00:18:32.270
    • -->
    • then you go to school.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • then you go to school.
    • -->
    • 00:18:32.270 --> 00:18:34.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:32.270 --> 00:18:34.160
    • -->
    • You worry about influences,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You worry about influences,
    • -->
    • 00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:35.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:35.240
    • -->
    • so I just feel like it's an attack from the enemy
    • " data-timeend="">
    • so I just feel like it's an attack from the enemy
    • -->
    • 00:18:35.240 --> 00:18:37.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:35.240 --> 00:18:37.230
    • -->
    • to attack us at every season.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to attack us at every season.
    • -->
    • 00:18:37.230 --> 00:18:39.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:37.230 --> 00:18:39.150
    • -->
    • So if we can learn to grow right where we are,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So if we can learn to grow right where we are,
    • -->
    • 00:18:39.150 --> 00:18:42.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:39.150 --> 00:18:42.020
    • -->
    • where God has placed us and develop past those things,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • where God has placed us and develop past those things,
    • -->
    • 00:18:42.020 --> 00:18:44.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:42.020 --> 00:18:44.210
    • -->
    • that when the test comes, you're like,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that when the test comes, you're like,
    • -->
    • 00:18:44.210 --> 00:18:45.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:44.210 --> 00:18:45.250
    • -->
    • "No, my God provides all I need."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "No, my God provides all I need."
    • -->
    • 00:18:45.250 --> 00:18:47.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:45.250 --> 00:18:47.280
    • -->
    • (ladies reacting)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (ladies reacting)
    • -->
    • 00:18:47.280 --> 00:18:48.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:47.280 --> 00:18:48.280
    • -->
    • - Amen, amen.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Amen, amen.
    • -->
    • 00:18:48.280 --> 00:18:49.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:48.280 --> 00:18:49.260
    • -->
    • - He takes care of my family.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - He takes care of my family.
    • -->
    • 00:18:49.260 --> 00:18:51.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:49.260 --> 00:18:51.130
    • -->
    • With a long life he'll satisfy me, my family,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • With a long life he'll satisfy me, my family,
    • -->
    • 00:18:51.130 --> 00:18:53.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:51.130 --> 00:18:53.230
    • -->
    • and our children.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and our children.
    • -->
    • 00:18:53.230 --> 00:18:55.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:53.230 --> 00:18:55.030
    • -->
    • So just fighting back with the word,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So just fighting back with the word,
    • -->
    • 00:18:55.030 --> 00:18:56.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:55.030 --> 00:18:56.180
    • -->
    • and storing it up in your heart.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and storing it up in your heart.
    • -->
    • 00:18:56.180 --> 00:18:58.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:56.180 --> 00:18:58.130
    • -->
    • Like what ammo do yo have to fight back with.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Like what ammo do yo have to fight back with.
    • -->
    • 00:18:58.130 --> 00:19:00.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:58.130 --> 00:19:00.130
    • -->
    • It can't be YouTube, I'm sorry.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It can't be YouTube, I'm sorry.
    • -->
    • 00:19:00.130 --> 00:19:02.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:00.130 --> 00:19:02.020
    • -->
    • (ladies laughing)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (ladies laughing)
    • -->
    • 00:19:02.020 --> 00:19:03.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:02.020 --> 00:19:03.160
    • -->
    • Nope, like you've gotta open up that Word which is--
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Nope, like you've gotta open up that Word which is--
    • -->
    • 00:19:03.160 --> 00:19:05.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:03.160 --> 00:19:05.210
    • -->
    • - At some point you have to read that Word.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - At some point you have to read that Word.
    • -->
    • 00:19:05.210 --> 00:19:08.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:05.210 --> 00:19:08.070
    • -->
    • (Dianna laughing)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (Dianna laughing)
    • -->
    • 00:19:08.070 --> 00:19:10.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:08.070 --> 00:19:10.020
    • -->
    • - You gotta apply it.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - You gotta apply it.
    • -->
    • 00:19:10.020 --> 00:19:11.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:10.020 --> 00:19:11.180
    • -->
    • You can't just, you can't, I feel like so many of us
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You can't just, you can't, I feel like so many of us
    • -->
    • 00:19:11.180 --> 00:19:13.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:11.180 --> 00:19:13.220
    • -->
    • our swords are just kind of in our car that we pick up
    • " data-timeend="">
    • our swords are just kind of in our car that we pick up
    • -->
    • 00:19:13.220 --> 00:19:16.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:13.220 --> 00:19:16.000
    • -->
    • on our way to church and we're expecting
    • " data-timeend="">
    • on our way to church and we're expecting
    • -->
    • 00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:18.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:18.010
    • -->
    • to be powerful off of some memes on social media.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to be powerful off of some memes on social media.
    • -->
    • 00:19:18.010 --> 00:19:21.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:18.010 --> 00:19:21.120
    • -->
    • - Needless to say the whole social media has kind of
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Needless to say the whole social media has kind of
    • -->
    • 00:19:21.120 --> 00:19:24.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:21.120 --> 00:19:24.130
    • -->
    • amped up another hundred percent when it
    • " data-timeend="">
    • amped up another hundred percent when it
    • -->
    • 00:19:25.260 --> 00:19:28.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:25.260 --> 00:19:28.200
    • -->
    • comes to our relational bonds.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • comes to our relational bonds.
    • -->
    • 00:19:28.200 --> 00:19:32.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:28.200 --> 00:19:32.000
    • -->
    • So we're given an illusion and not really a healthy picture
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So we're given an illusion and not really a healthy picture
    • -->
    • 00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:36.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:36.100
    • -->
    • of what your life looks like.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • of what your life looks like.
    • -->
    • 00:19:36.100 --> 00:19:37.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:36.100 --> 00:19:37.210
    • -->
    • And so when you have a whole generation
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so when you have a whole generation
    • -->
    • 00:19:37.210 --> 00:19:39.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:37.210 --> 00:19:39.050
    • -->
    • of people craving authenticity.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • of people craving authenticity.
    • -->
    • 00:19:39.050 --> 00:19:41.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:39.050 --> 00:19:41.280
    • -->
    • We wanna be authentic.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We wanna be authentic.
    • -->
    • 00:19:41.280 --> 00:19:43.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:41.280 --> 00:19:43.000
    • -->
    • We wanna be genuine,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We wanna be genuine,
    • -->
    • 00:19:43.000 --> 00:19:44.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:43.000 --> 00:19:44.140
    • -->
    • but you're still addicted to the Kim Kardashian
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but you're still addicted to the Kim Kardashian
    • -->
    • 00:19:44.140 --> 00:19:47.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:44.140 --> 00:19:47.210
    • -->
    • and your world.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and your world.
    • -->
    • 00:19:47.210 --> 00:19:49.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:47.210 --> 00:19:49.050
    • -->
    • You're still addicted to wanting to post everything.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You're still addicted to wanting to post everything.
    • -->
    • 00:19:49.050 --> 00:19:51.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:49.050 --> 00:19:51.070
    • -->
    • You're still addicted to your phone.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You're still addicted to your phone.
    • -->
    • 00:19:51.070 --> 00:19:52.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:51.070 --> 00:19:52.280
    • -->
    • You're still reaching for,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You're still reaching for,
    • -->
    • 00:19:52.280 --> 00:19:54.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:52.280 --> 00:19:54.130
    • -->
    • it just goes to show like the health of society right now.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it just goes to show like the health of society right now.
    • -->
    • 00:19:54.130 --> 00:19:59.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:54.130 --> 00:19:59.060
    • -->
    • Where we don't know anymore what relationships look like.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Where we don't know anymore what relationships look like.
    • -->
    • 00:20:00.190 --> 00:20:03.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:00.190 --> 00:20:03.200
    • -->
    • And so, I think that's what we're kind of looking and seeing
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so, I think that's what we're kind of looking and seeing
    • -->
    • 00:20:03.200 --> 00:20:08.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:03.200 --> 00:20:08.200
    • -->
    • and taking a diagnosis of our community,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and taking a diagnosis of our community,
    • -->
    • 00:20:09.240 --> 00:20:12.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:09.240 --> 00:20:12.030
    • -->
    • but I can see that there's a hunger right back
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but I can see that there's a hunger right back
    • -->
    • 00:20:12.030 --> 00:20:15.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:12.030 --> 00:20:15.120
    • -->
    • either in the local church, either in small groups,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • either in the local church, either in small groups,
    • -->
    • 00:20:15.120 --> 00:20:18.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:15.120 --> 00:20:18.020
    • -->
    • either in relationships, you're hungry for real.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • either in relationships, you're hungry for real.
    • -->
    • 00:20:18.020 --> 00:20:21.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:18.020 --> 00:20:21.100
    • -->
    • Will they love me when I take the mask off?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Will they love me when I take the mask off?
    • -->
    • 00:20:21.100 --> 00:20:23.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:21.100 --> 00:20:23.230
    • -->
    • Will they love me and not leave when I come with my junk
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Will they love me and not leave when I come with my junk
    • -->
    • 00:20:23.230 --> 00:20:27.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:23.230 --> 00:20:27.080
    • -->
    • in the trunk and everything that's associated with it.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • in the trunk and everything that's associated with it.
    • -->
    • 00:20:27.080 --> 00:20:30.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:27.080 --> 00:20:30.090
    • -->
    • If you dig into God's word and get rid of all of these
    • " data-timeend="">
    • If you dig into God's word and get rid of all of these
    • -->
    • 00:20:30.090 --> 00:20:35.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:30.090 --> 00:20:35.090
    • -->
    • superfluous things that you are seeing across
    • " data-timeend="">
    • superfluous things that you are seeing across
    • -->
    • 00:20:35.090 --> 00:20:37.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:35.090 --> 00:20:37.150
    • -->
    • either social media, the movies that we watch,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • either social media, the movies that we watch,
    • -->
    • 00:20:37.150 --> 00:20:41.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:37.150 --> 00:20:41.040
    • -->
    • I think pretty much the illusion that we give about marriage
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I think pretty much the illusion that we give about marriage
    • -->
    • 00:20:41.040 --> 00:20:44.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:41.040 --> 00:20:44.130
    • -->
    • is pretty saccharin, it's pretty sweet.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • is pretty saccharin, it's pretty sweet.
    • -->
    • 00:20:44.130 --> 00:20:46.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:44.130 --> 00:20:46.190
    • -->
    • Too much, too flowery, it's not real marriage.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Too much, too flowery, it's not real marriage.
    • -->
    • 00:20:46.190 --> 00:20:49.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:46.190 --> 00:20:49.220
    • -->
    • - [Woman] It's not real, yeah.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - [Woman] It's not real, yeah.
    • -->
    • 00:20:49.220 --> 00:20:50.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:49.220 --> 00:20:50.290
    • -->
    • - And so some of us that have real stories,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - And so some of us that have real stories,
    • -->
    • 00:20:50.290 --> 00:20:53.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:50.290 --> 00:20:53.230
    • -->
    • myself included, it's the bones that make a marriage,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • myself included, it's the bones that make a marriage,
    • -->
    • 00:20:53.230 --> 00:20:58.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:53.230 --> 00:20:58.190
    • -->
    • it's the fight that makes a marriage.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it's the fight that makes a marriage.
    • -->
    • 00:20:58.190 --> 00:21:00.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:58.190 --> 00:21:00.220
    • -->
    • It's when you're raising kids and you look like a hot mess
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It's when you're raising kids and you look like a hot mess
    • -->
    • 00:21:00.220 --> 00:21:03.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:00.220 --> 00:21:03.080
    • -->
    • and you look like you've been wearing your yoga pants
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and you look like you've been wearing your yoga pants
    • -->
    • 00:21:03.080 --> 00:21:05.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:03.080 --> 00:21:05.010
    • -->
    • for a whole week, you haven't taken a shower,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • for a whole week, you haven't taken a shower,
    • -->
    • 00:21:05.010 --> 00:21:06.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:05.010 --> 00:21:06.290
    • -->
    • because that's marriage.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because that's marriage.
    • -->
    • 00:21:06.290 --> 00:21:09.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:06.290 --> 00:21:09.060
    • -->
    • It's the hard stuff,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It's the hard stuff,
    • -->
    • 00:21:09.060 --> 00:21:10.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:09.060 --> 00:21:10.220
    • -->
    • so the real you comes out in those hard situations.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • so the real you comes out in those hard situations.
    • -->
    • 00:21:10.220 --> 00:21:14.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:10.220 --> 00:21:14.290
    • -->
    • You're not the fluffy saccharin, what you see in "Notebook."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You're not the fluffy saccharin, what you see in "Notebook."
    • -->
    • 00:21:16.110 --> 00:21:18.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:16.110 --> 00:21:18.270
    • -->
    • That is not the picture of marriage.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • That is not the picture of marriage.
    • -->
    • 00:21:18.270 --> 00:21:20.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:18.270 --> 00:21:20.240
    • -->
    • - I love the book that says,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I love the book that says,
    • -->
    • 00:21:20.240 --> 00:21:22.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:20.240 --> 00:21:22.090
    • -->
    • "Marriage isn't to make you happy, it's to make you holy."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Marriage isn't to make you happy, it's to make you holy."
    • -->
    • 00:21:22.090 --> 00:21:26.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:22.090 --> 00:21:26.210
    • -->
    • - [Bianca] I wanted to throw that book!
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - [Bianca] I wanted to throw that book!
    • -->
    • 00:21:26.210 --> 00:21:27.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:26.210 --> 00:21:27.210
    • -->
    • (ladies reacting)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (ladies reacting)
    • -->
    • 00:21:27.210 --> 00:21:28.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:27.210 --> 00:21:28.260
    • -->
    • I said, "This is dumb, who wrote this?"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I said, "This is dumb, who wrote this?"
    • -->
    • 00:21:28.260 --> 00:21:30.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:28.260 --> 00:21:30.140
    • -->
    • - Burn it, burn it.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Burn it, burn it.
    • -->
    • 00:21:30.140 --> 00:21:31.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:30.140 --> 00:21:31.210
    • -->
    • - [Bianca] They didn't get fired.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - [Bianca] They didn't get fired.
    • -->
    • 00:21:31.210 --> 00:21:32.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:31.210 --> 00:21:32.250
    • -->
    • (ladies laughing)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (ladies laughing)
    • -->
    • 00:21:32.250 --> 00:21:34.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:32.250 --> 00:21:34.000
    • -->
    • - Well I think marriage to make you holy,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Well I think marriage to make you holy,
    • -->
    • 00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:37.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:37.000
    • -->
    • boy it works on every part of us.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • boy it works on every part of us.
    • -->
    • 00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:40.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:40.010
    • -->
    • It works on our selfishness.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It works on our selfishness.
    • -->
    • 00:21:40.010 --> 00:21:43.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:40.010 --> 00:21:43.010
    • -->
    • It works on our attitudes.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It works on our attitudes.
    • -->
    • 00:21:43.010 --> 00:21:45.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:43.010 --> 00:21:45.200
    • -->
    • It works on all kinds of things about me, me, me, me, me
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It works on all kinds of things about me, me, me, me, me
    • -->
    • 00:21:45.200 --> 00:21:49.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:45.200 --> 00:21:49.200
    • -->
    • and all of a sudden, it's you, you, you, you, you,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and all of a sudden, it's you, you, you, you, you,
    • -->
    • 00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:52.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:52.250
    • -->
    • because we're focusing now on somebody else.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because we're focusing now on somebody else.
    • -->
    • 00:21:52.250 --> 00:21:55.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:52.250 --> 00:21:55.210
    • -->
    • And ourselves, but we have the priority,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And ourselves, but we have the priority,
    • -->
    • 00:21:55.210 --> 00:21:58.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:55.210 --> 00:21:58.040
    • -->
    • and that is our marriage.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and that is our marriage.
    • -->
    • 00:21:58.040 --> 00:21:59.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:58.040 --> 00:21:59.160
    • -->
    • - Ten years knowing him, eight years married,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Ten years knowing him, eight years married,
    • -->
    • 00:21:59.160 --> 00:22:02.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:59.160 --> 00:22:02.270
    • -->
    • I could say it is sanctification in it's highest form.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I could say it is sanctification in it's highest form.
    • -->
    • 00:22:02.270 --> 00:22:06.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:02.270 --> 00:22:06.100
    • -->
    • It is death to self for the sacrifice of someone else
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It is death to self for the sacrifice of someone else
    • -->
    • 00:22:06.100 --> 00:22:09.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:06.100 --> 00:22:09.140
    • -->
    • and we get to empathize a little bit with Jesus's
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and we get to empathize a little bit with Jesus's
    • -->
    • 00:22:09.140 --> 00:22:12.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:09.140 --> 00:22:12.080
    • -->
    • sacrifice which is why this covenant
    • " data-timeend="">
    • sacrifice which is why this covenant
    • -->
    • 00:22:12.080 --> 00:22:13.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:12.080 --> 00:22:13.270
    • -->
    • is in the picture of marriage.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • is in the picture of marriage.
    • -->
    • 00:22:13.270 --> 00:22:15.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:13.270 --> 00:22:15.110
    • -->
    • Jesus is God's covenant towards us.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Jesus is God's covenant towards us.
    • -->
    • 00:22:15.110 --> 00:22:17.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:15.110 --> 00:22:17.100
    • -->
    • It is the picture of marriage, so yes,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It is the picture of marriage, so yes,
    • -->
    • 00:22:17.100 --> 00:22:20.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:17.100 --> 00:22:20.150
    • -->
    • I think I'm holy enough.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I think I'm holy enough.
    • -->
    • 00:22:20.150 --> 00:22:22.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:20.150 --> 00:22:22.030
    • -->
    • (ladies laughing) - I'm not.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (ladies laughing) - I'm not.
    • -->
    • 00:22:22.030 --> 00:22:23.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:22.030 --> 00:22:23.090
    • -->
    • - Oh yeah, you're already there.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Oh yeah, you're already there.
    • -->
    • 00:22:23.090 --> 00:22:25.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:23.090 --> 00:22:25.200
    • -->
    • - In the act of marriage,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - In the act of marriage,
    • -->
    • 00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:27.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:27.090
    • -->
    • you have to die to yourself if you love that other person,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • you have to die to yourself if you love that other person,
    • -->
    • 00:22:27.090 --> 00:22:30.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:27.090 --> 00:22:30.130
    • -->
    • 'cause there's gonna be certain things.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 'cause there's gonna be certain things.
    • -->
    • 00:22:30.130 --> 00:22:31.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:30.130 --> 00:22:31.260
    • -->
    • Maybe you want Chinese food and they want Italian.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Maybe you want Chinese food and they want Italian.
    • -->
    • 00:22:31.260 --> 00:22:34.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:31.260 --> 00:22:34.040
    • -->
    • Maybe, I don't know, hypothetically,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Maybe, I don't know, hypothetically,
    • -->
    • 00:22:34.040 --> 00:22:35.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:34.040 --> 00:22:35.260
    • -->
    • you're husband wants you to fold laundry immediately,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • you're husband wants you to fold laundry immediately,
    • -->
    • 00:22:35.260 --> 00:22:38.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:35.260 --> 00:22:38.190
    • -->
    • and you don't feel like that's your spiritual gift.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and you don't feel like that's your spiritual gift.
    • -->
    • 00:22:38.190 --> 00:22:40.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:38.190 --> 00:22:40.240
    • -->
    • You know what you're gonna have these moments,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You know what you're gonna have these moments,
    • -->
    • 00:22:40.240 --> 00:22:42.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:40.240 --> 00:22:42.110
    • -->
    • where you don't want to do what the other person who
    • " data-timeend="">
    • where you don't want to do what the other person who
    • -->
    • 00:22:42.110 --> 00:22:45.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:42.110 --> 00:22:45.290
    • -->
    • you love and they love you wants you to do.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • you love and they love you wants you to do.
    • -->
    • 00:22:45.290 --> 00:22:48.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:45.290 --> 00:22:48.140
    • -->
    • But out of love, you say yes.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • But out of love, you say yes.
    • -->
    • 00:22:48.140 --> 00:22:51.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:48.140 --> 00:22:51.140
    • -->
    • This is what I refer to as sanctification as the highest
    • " data-timeend="">
    • This is what I refer to as sanctification as the highest
    • -->
    • 00:22:51.140 --> 00:22:55.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:51.140 --> 00:22:55.020
    • -->
    • form of all marriage.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • form of all marriage.
    • -->
    • 00:22:55.020 --> 00:22:56.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:55.020 --> 00:22:56.090
    • -->
    • It's the highest form of sanctification.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It's the highest form of sanctification.
    • -->
    • 00:22:56.090 --> 00:22:58.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:56.090 --> 00:22:58.050
    • -->
    • We get to love somebody even when we don't want to.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We get to love somebody even when we don't want to.
    • -->
    • 00:22:58.050 --> 00:23:02.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:58.050 --> 00:23:02.000
    • -->
    • Perspective, so we've had a lot of great dialogue,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Perspective, so we've had a lot of great dialogue,
    • -->
    • 00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:04.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:04.070
    • -->
    • our friends, my friends, I have a lot of single friends.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • our friends, my friends, I have a lot of single friends.
    • -->
    • 00:23:04.070 --> 00:23:06.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:04.070 --> 00:23:06.160
    • -->
    • They're like, I'm not married.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • They're like, I'm not married.
    • -->
    • 00:23:06.160 --> 00:23:09.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:06.160 --> 00:23:09.090
    • -->
    • I'd like to prepare my heart if that's what God has for me.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'd like to prepare my heart if that's what God has for me.
    • -->
    • 00:23:09.090 --> 00:23:12.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:09.090 --> 00:23:12.120
    • -->
    • Or how do I even operate with barriers
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Or how do I even operate with barriers
    • -->
    • 00:23:12.120 --> 00:23:14.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:12.120 --> 00:23:14.180
    • -->
    • and intimacies within friendships?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and intimacies within friendships?
    • -->
    • 00:23:14.180 --> 00:23:16.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:14.180 --> 00:23:16.290
    • -->
    • So what's your perspective?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So what's your perspective?
    • -->
    • 00:23:16.290 --> 00:23:18.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:16.290 --> 00:23:18.140
    • -->
    • Are you around single friends?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Are you around single friends?
    • -->
    • 00:23:18.140 --> 00:23:20.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:18.140 --> 00:23:20.000
    • -->
    • What wisdom and insight can we glean
    • " data-timeend="">
    • What wisdom and insight can we glean
    • -->
    • 00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:22.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:22.090
    • -->
    • and pass on to our single sisters?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and pass on to our single sisters?
    • -->
    • 00:23:22.090 --> 00:23:24.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:22.090 --> 00:23:24.150
    • -->
    • - I always encourage my single sisters to guard your heart
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I always encourage my single sisters to guard your heart
    • -->
    • 00:23:24.150 --> 00:23:26.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:24.150 --> 00:23:26.240
    • -->
    • against certain men.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • against certain men.
    • -->
    • 00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:28.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:28.080
    • -->
    • Now the thing is this especially in the church,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Now the thing is this especially in the church,
    • -->
    • 00:23:28.080 --> 00:23:30.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:28.080 --> 00:23:30.170
    • -->
    • like he's your best friend,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • like he's your best friend,
    • -->
    • 00:23:30.170 --> 00:23:32.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:30.170 --> 00:23:32.130
    • -->
    • but it's an issue if he starts dating somebody else.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but it's an issue if he starts dating somebody else.
    • -->
    • 00:23:32.130 --> 00:23:34.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:32.130 --> 00:23:34.130
    • -->
    • (ladies reacting)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (ladies reacting)
    • -->
    • 00:23:34.130 --> 00:23:37.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:34.130 --> 00:23:37.230
    • -->
    • You have created a whole life with Johnny
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You have created a whole life with Johnny
    • -->
    • 00:23:37.230 --> 00:23:39.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:37.230 --> 00:23:39.260
    • -->
    • and you have your kids names picked out.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and you have your kids names picked out.
    • -->
    • 00:23:39.260 --> 00:23:41.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:39.260 --> 00:23:41.240
    • -->
    • But he is looking at somebody else.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • But he is looking at somebody else.
    • -->
    • 00:23:41.240 --> 00:23:43.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:41.240 --> 00:23:43.280
    • -->
    • So I always encourage my single sisters to guard
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So I always encourage my single sisters to guard
    • -->
    • 00:23:43.280 --> 00:23:45.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:43.280 --> 00:23:45.190
    • -->
    • your heart against emotional
    • " data-timeend="">
    • your heart against emotional
    • -->
    • 00:23:45.190 --> 00:23:50.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:45.190 --> 00:23:50.190
    • -->
    • intimacy with these men.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • intimacy with these men.
    • -->
    • 00:23:51.110 --> 00:23:53.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:51.110 --> 00:23:53.040
    • -->
    • - Who is at that guy's side?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Who is at that guy's side?
    • -->
    • 00:23:53.040 --> 00:23:55.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:53.040 --> 00:23:55.220
    • -->
    • Is it a girl?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Is it a girl?
    • -->
    • 00:23:55.220 --> 00:23:56.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:55.220 --> 00:23:56.170
    • -->
    • Is it a guy?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Is it a guy?
    • -->
    • 00:23:56.170 --> 00:23:57.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:56.170 --> 00:23:57.250
    • -->
    • Most healthy relational bonds happen between men
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Most healthy relational bonds happen between men
    • -->
    • 00:23:57.250 --> 00:24:01.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:57.250 --> 00:24:01.070
    • -->
    • and it's easy, they're free flowing.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and it's easy, they're free flowing.
    • -->
    • 00:24:01.070 --> 00:24:03.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:01.070 --> 00:24:03.190
    • -->
    • Things roll off their shoulders,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Things roll off their shoulders,
    • -->
    • 00:24:03.190 --> 00:24:05.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:03.190 --> 00:24:05.050
    • -->
    • but with a girl, all of a sudden this emotional bond
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but with a girl, all of a sudden this emotional bond
    • -->
    • 00:24:05.050 --> 00:24:07.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:05.050 --> 00:24:07.150
    • -->
    • happens and so we begin to open our hearts.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • happens and so we begin to open our hearts.
    • -->
    • 00:24:07.150 --> 00:24:12.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:07.150 --> 00:24:12.070
    • -->
    • They open their heart,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • They open their heart,
    • -->
    • 00:24:12.070 --> 00:24:13.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:12.070 --> 00:24:13.230
    • -->
    • and then all of a sudden this unhealthy connection happens.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and then all of a sudden this unhealthy connection happens.
    • -->
    • 00:24:13.230 --> 00:24:16.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:13.230 --> 00:24:16.040
    • -->
    • We begin to fantasize as girl.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We begin to fantasize as girl.
    • -->
    • 00:24:16.040 --> 00:24:18.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:16.040 --> 00:24:18.050
    • -->
    • It's like could he be the one and then all of a sudden
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It's like could he be the one and then all of a sudden
    • -->
    • 00:24:18.050 --> 00:24:20.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:18.050 --> 00:24:20.150
    • -->
    • he's like dating some other girl and then we have the
    • " data-timeend="">
    • he's like dating some other girl and then we have the
    • -->
    • 00:24:20.150 --> 00:24:22.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:20.150 --> 00:24:22.230
    • -->
    • hateraide going on right now in our heart.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • hateraide going on right now in our heart.
    • -->
    • 00:24:22.230 --> 00:24:25.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:22.230 --> 00:24:25.090
    • -->
    • - So just really I encourage my single sisters
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - So just really I encourage my single sisters
    • -->
    • 00:24:25.090 --> 00:24:27.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:25.090 --> 00:24:27.220
    • -->
    • develop your friendships with your girlfriends,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • develop your friendships with your girlfriends,
    • -->
    • 00:24:27.220 --> 00:24:30.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:27.220 --> 00:24:30.250
    • -->
    • hang out in big groups with guys,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • hang out in big groups with guys,
    • -->
    • 00:24:30.250 --> 00:24:32.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:30.250 --> 00:24:32.170
    • -->
    • if guys are gonna be coming along too,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • if guys are gonna be coming along too,
    • -->
    • 00:24:32.170 --> 00:24:34.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:32.170 --> 00:24:34.010
    • -->
    • but I personally think it's very difficult to have
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but I personally think it's very difficult to have
    • -->
    • 00:24:34.010 --> 00:24:37.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:34.010 --> 00:24:37.290
    • -->
    • a lot of friendships with the opposite sex.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • a lot of friendships with the opposite sex.
    • -->
    • 00:24:37.290 --> 00:24:39.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:37.290 --> 00:24:39.260
    • -->
    • Because I feel like it just confuses things.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Because I feel like it just confuses things.
    • -->
    • 00:24:39.260 --> 00:24:42.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:39.260 --> 00:24:42.110
    • -->
    • - Things get very confusing. - It does.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Things get very confusing. - It does.
    • -->
    • 00:24:42.110 --> 00:24:43.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:42.110 --> 00:24:43.290
    • -->
    • - And not every person that's attracted to them,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - And not every person that's attracted to them,
    • -->
    • 00:24:43.290 --> 00:24:47.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:43.290 --> 00:24:47.040
    • -->
    • is a good catch if I could put it that way.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • is a good catch if I could put it that way.
    • -->
    • 00:24:47.040 --> 00:24:49.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:47.040 --> 00:24:49.100
    • -->
    • Just because like you look good and they look good,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Just because like you look good and they look good,
    • -->
    • 00:24:49.100 --> 00:24:52.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:49.100 --> 00:24:52.150
    • -->
    • and there's chemistry that they're good for you.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and there's chemistry that they're good for you.
    • -->
    • 00:24:52.150 --> 00:24:54.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:52.150 --> 00:24:54.060
    • -->
    • - He's put on these goggles and they're like,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - He's put on these goggles and they're like,
    • -->
    • 00:24:54.060 --> 00:24:55.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:54.060 --> 00:24:55.200
    • -->
    • "Oh, but he's so cute,"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Oh, but he's so cute,"
    • -->
    • 00:24:55.200 --> 00:24:57.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:55.200 --> 00:24:57.140
    • -->
    • and "Oh my gosh, he's so hot."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and "Oh my gosh, he's so hot."
    • -->
    • 00:24:57.140 --> 00:24:59.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:57.140 --> 00:24:59.260
    • -->
    • He may be hot, but so is hell.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • He may be hot, but so is hell.
    • -->
    • 00:24:59.260 --> 00:25:02.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:24:59.260 --> 00:25:02.030
    • -->
    • If he doesn't love Jesus. - Emphasis on the H.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • If he doesn't love Jesus. - Emphasis on the H.
    • -->
    • 00:25:02.030 --> 00:25:05.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:02.030 --> 00:25:05.070
    • -->
    • - Yes, if he doesn't love Jesus,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Yes, if he doesn't love Jesus,
    • -->
    • 00:25:05.070 --> 00:25:07.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:05.070 --> 00:25:07.000
    • -->
    • he'll never love you in the way that you need to be loved.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • he'll never love you in the way that you need to be loved.
    • -->
    • 00:25:07.000 --> 00:25:10.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:07.000 --> 00:25:10.010
    • -->
    • And we are compromising and throwing moral scruples of those
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And we are compromising and throwing moral scruples of those
    • -->
    • 00:25:10.010 --> 00:25:12.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:10.010 --> 00:25:12.120
    • -->
    • out the window, because a brother's hot,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • out the window, because a brother's hot,
    • -->
    • 00:25:12.120 --> 00:25:14.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:12.120 --> 00:25:14.180
    • -->
    • or a brother paid attention to you.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • or a brother paid attention to you.
    • -->
    • 00:25:14.180 --> 00:25:15.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:14.180 --> 00:25:15.240
    • -->
    • - We're trying to get it right.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - We're trying to get it right.
    • -->
    • 00:25:15.240 --> 00:25:16.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:15.240 --> 00:25:16.270
    • -->
    • - Yep, missionary dating, no.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Yep, missionary dating, no.
    • -->
    • 00:25:16.270 --> 00:25:18.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:16.270 --> 00:25:18.190
    • -->
    • Learn to convert doesn't work.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Learn to convert doesn't work.
    • -->
    • 00:25:18.190 --> 00:25:20.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:18.190 --> 00:25:20.120
    • -->
    • - Learn to convert, that's new I like it.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Learn to convert, that's new I like it.
    • -->
    • 00:25:20.120 --> 00:25:21.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:20.120 --> 00:25:21.090
    • -->
    • - It doesn't work.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - It doesn't work.
    • -->
    • 00:25:22.140 --> 00:25:23.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:22.140 --> 00:25:23.220
    • -->
    • Our standard needs to be do they love Jesus?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Our standard needs to be do they love Jesus?
    • -->
    • 00:25:23.220 --> 00:25:26.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:23.220 --> 00:25:26.030
    • -->
    • Do they have a job?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Do they have a job?
    • -->
    • 00:25:26.030 --> 00:25:27.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:26.030 --> 00:25:27.190
    • -->
    • Because if they don't have either of those,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Because if they don't have either of those,
    • -->
    • 00:25:27.190 --> 00:25:29.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:27.190 --> 00:25:29.240
    • -->
    • it's a recipe for disaster.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it's a recipe for disaster.
    • -->
    • 00:25:30.230 --> 00:25:31.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:30.230 --> 00:25:31.210
    • -->
    • - And do they love their mama?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - And do they love their mama?
    • -->
    • 00:25:31.210 --> 00:25:33.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:31.210 --> 00:25:33.040
    • -->
    • - How they love their mama is how they end up.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - How they love their mama is how they end up.
    • -->
    • 00:25:33.040 --> 00:25:34.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:33.040 --> 00:25:34.190
    • -->
    • - 'Cause those who don't have good relationships
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - 'Cause those who don't have good relationships
    • -->
    • 00:25:34.190 --> 00:25:36.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:34.190 --> 00:25:36.010
    • -->
    • with their mothers honestly have a hard time
    • " data-timeend="">
    • with their mothers honestly have a hard time
    • -->
    • 00:25:36.010 --> 00:25:38.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:36.010 --> 00:25:38.270
    • -->
    • having a relationship with you.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • having a relationship with you.
    • -->
    • 00:25:38.270 --> 00:25:41.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:38.270 --> 00:25:41.030
    • -->
    • - It is only Jesus that can change your heart.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - It is only Jesus that can change your heart.
    • -->
    • 00:25:41.030 --> 00:25:43.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:41.030 --> 00:25:43.000
    • -->
    • So if you have trust issues, lay those at his feet.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So if you have trust issues, lay those at his feet.
    • -->
    • 00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:45.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:45.180
    • -->
    • If you're struggling with different things,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • If you're struggling with different things,
    • -->
    • 00:25:45.180 --> 00:25:46.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:45.180 --> 00:25:46.290
    • -->
    • don't try to grab on to things
    • " data-timeend="">
    • don't try to grab on to things
    • -->
    • 00:25:46.290 --> 00:25:48.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:46.290 --> 00:25:48.250
    • -->
    • to fill the void in your heart,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to fill the void in your heart,
    • -->
    • 00:25:48.250 --> 00:25:51.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:48.250 --> 00:25:51.050
    • -->
    • because it's empty and you'll never be satisfied.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because it's empty and you'll never be satisfied.
    • -->
    • 00:25:51.050 --> 00:25:53.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:51.050 --> 00:25:53.230
    • -->
    • So Father in the name of Jesus,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So Father in the name of Jesus,
    • -->
    • 00:25:53.230 --> 00:25:55.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:53.230 --> 00:25:55.060
    • -->
    • I just pray and I cover anybody that might be just broken
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I just pray and I cover anybody that might be just broken
    • -->
    • 00:25:55.060 --> 00:25:58.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:55.060 --> 00:25:58.110
    • -->
    • right now Lord,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • right now Lord,
    • -->
    • 00:25:58.110 --> 00:25:59.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:58.110 --> 00:25:59.250
    • -->
    • I pray that you're healing them by your stripes.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I pray that you're healing them by your stripes.
    • -->
    • 00:25:59.250 --> 00:26:01.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:25:59.250 --> 00:26:01.100
    • -->
    • I declare that no weapon formed against 'em shall prosper.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I declare that no weapon formed against 'em shall prosper.
    • -->
    • 00:26:01.100 --> 00:26:03.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:01.100 --> 00:26:03.100
    • -->
    • I pray Lord that they release their past to you.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I pray Lord that they release their past to you.
    • -->
    • 00:26:03.100 --> 00:26:06.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:03.100 --> 00:26:06.010
    • -->
    • That they let go of it.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • That they let go of it.
    • -->
    • 00:26:06.010 --> 00:26:07.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:06.010 --> 00:26:07.110
    • -->
    • I pray Lord that they're learning to trust again.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I pray Lord that they're learning to trust again.
    • -->
    • 00:26:07.110 --> 00:26:09.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:07.110 --> 00:26:09.130
    • -->
    • I pray for discernment.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I pray for discernment.
    • -->
    • 00:26:09.130 --> 00:26:10.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:09.130 --> 00:26:10.180
    • -->
    • I pray for direction in their life.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I pray for direction in their life.
    • -->
    • 00:26:10.180 --> 00:26:12.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:10.180 --> 00:26:12.060
    • -->
    • And I pray Lord for restoration.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I pray Lord for restoration.
    • -->
    • 00:26:12.060 --> 00:26:14.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:12.060 --> 00:26:14.020
    • -->
    • I pray that you're restoring things over their life
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I pray that you're restoring things over their life
    • -->
    • 00:26:14.020 --> 00:26:16.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:14.020 --> 00:26:16.030
    • -->
    • that have been taken away from them Lord.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that have been taken away from them Lord.
    • -->
    • 00:26:16.030 --> 00:26:18.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:16.030 --> 00:26:18.110
    • -->
    • You are with them and the plans that you have
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You are with them and the plans that you have
    • -->
    • 00:26:18.110 --> 00:26:20.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:18.110 --> 00:26:20.010
    • -->
    • for them are good.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • for them are good.
    • -->
    • 00:26:20.010 --> 00:26:20.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:20.010 --> 00:26:20.290
    • -->
    • In Jesus's name we pray, Amen.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • In Jesus's name we pray, Amen.
    • -->
    • 00:26:20.290 --> 00:26:22.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:20.290 --> 00:26:22.280
    • -->
    • - [Laurie] You can call the number on your screen right now
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - [Laurie] You can call the number on your screen right now
    • -->
    • 00:26:22.280 --> 00:26:25.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:22.280 --> 00:26:25.020
    • -->
    • to talk a prayer partner.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to talk a prayer partner.
    • -->
    • 00:26:25.020 --> 00:26:26.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:25.020 --> 00:26:26.270
    • -->
    • We're here for you 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We're here for you 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
    • -->
    • 00:26:26.270 --> 00:26:30.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:26.270 --> 00:26:30.120
    • -->
    • We love you and most importantly God loves you.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We love you and most importantly God loves you.
    • -->
    • 00:26:30.120 --> 00:26:32.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:30.120 --> 00:26:32.220
    • -->
    • - You can stream "Better Together" episodes
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - You can stream "Better Together" episodes
    • -->
    • 00:26:34.090 --> 00:26:35.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:34.090 --> 00:26:35.240
    • -->
    • on the go.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • on the go.
    • -->
    • 00:26:35.240 --> 00:26:37.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:35.240 --> 00:26:37.000
    • -->
    • - [Laurie] Download the TBN app to watch all
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - [Laurie] Download the TBN app to watch all
    • -->
    • 00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:38.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:38.250
    • -->
    • of our latest conversations.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • of our latest conversations.
    • -->
    • 00:26:38.250 --> 00:26:40.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:38.250 --> 00:26:40.140
    • -->
    • Here's what's coming up next on "Better Together",
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Here's what's coming up next on "Better Together",
    • -->
    • 00:26:41.270 --> 00:26:44.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:41.270 --> 00:26:44.230
    • -->
    • - And just because someone doesn't
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - And just because someone doesn't
    • -->
    • 00:26:44.230 --> 00:26:45.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:44.230 --> 00:26:45.210
    • -->
    • understand your boundaries,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • understand your boundaries,
    • -->
    • 00:26:45.210 --> 00:26:46.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:45.210 --> 00:26:46.280
    • -->
    • doesn't mean that you're boundaries are wrong.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • doesn't mean that you're boundaries are wrong.
    • -->
    • 00:26:46.280 --> 00:26:48.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:46.280 --> 00:26:48.180
    • -->
    • If God is placing a conviction in your heart,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • If God is placing a conviction in your heart,
    • -->
    • 00:26:48.180 --> 00:26:51.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:48.180 --> 00:26:51.060
    • -->
    • whether it's in family,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • whether it's in family,
    • -->
    • 00:26:51.060 --> 00:26:53.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:51.060 --> 00:26:53.000
    • -->
    • marriage, relationships, friendship,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • marriage, relationships, friendship,
    • -->
    • 00:26:53.000 --> 00:26:55.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:53.000 --> 00:26:55.060
    • -->
    • trust that it's the spirit of God speaking to you
    • " data-timeend="">
    • trust that it's the spirit of God speaking to you
    • -->
    • 00:26:55.060 --> 00:26:57.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:55.060 --> 00:26:57.210
    • -->
    • and that that boundary is a God given boundary.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and that that boundary is a God given boundary.
    • -->
    • 00:26:57.210 --> 00:27:01.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:26:57.210 --> 00:27:01.020
    • -->
    • - [Bianca] Watch "Better Together" right here on TBN.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - [Bianca] Watch "Better Together" right here on TBN.
    • -->
    • 00:27:01.020 --> 00:27:03.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:27:01.020 --> 00:27:03.210
    • -->
    -->