Family Boundaries and Discipline | Better Together | TBN

Family Boundaries and Discipline | Better Together

Watch Family Boundaries and Discipline | Better Together
August 13, 2019
23:34

Need advice on how to establish healthy boundaries with family members and discipline children? We're sharing our "house rules." | TBN Prayer Line: 1-888-731-1000

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Family Boundaries and Discipline | Better Together

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  • - The kids are screaming, your cousin wants to borrow money
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    • - The kids are screaming, your cousin wants to borrow money
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    • 00:00:01.130 --> 00:00:03.210
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    • 00:00:01.130 --> 00:00:03.210
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    • and your mother in law just came over without warning.
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    • and your mother in law just came over without warning.
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    • 00:00:03.210 --> 00:00:06.080
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    • 00:00:03.210 --> 00:00:06.080
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    • Again.
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    • Again.
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    • 00:00:06.080 --> 00:00:07.150
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    • 00:00:06.080 --> 00:00:07.150
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    • It's time to talk some boundaries.
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    • It's time to talk some boundaries.
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    • 00:00:07.150 --> 00:00:09.130
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    • 00:00:07.150 --> 00:00:09.130
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    • (gentle pop music)
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    • (gentle pop music)
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    • 00:00:09.130 --> 00:00:12.100
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    • 00:00:09.130 --> 00:00:12.100
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    • - Boundaries is this really hot word right now
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    • - Boundaries is this really hot word right now
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    • 00:00:35.230 --> 00:00:37.240
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    • 00:00:35.230 --> 00:00:37.240
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    • and I think everyone's throwing up
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    • and I think everyone's throwing up
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    • 00:00:37.240 --> 00:00:39.030
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    • 00:00:37.240 --> 00:00:39.030
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    • when they don't wanna do something, they're like,
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    • when they don't wanna do something, they're like,
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    • 00:00:39.030 --> 00:00:40.120
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    • "I have boundaries," or whatever they use it--
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    • "I have boundaries," or whatever they use it--
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    • 00:00:40.120 --> 00:00:42.270
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    • - Don't cross my fence.
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    • - Don't cross my fence.
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    • 00:00:42.270 --> 00:00:44.000
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    • 00:00:42.270 --> 00:00:44.000
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    • - It's funny, I didn't learn boundaries until
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    • - It's funny, I didn't learn boundaries until
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    • 00:00:45.070 --> 00:00:47.080
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    • 00:00:45.070 --> 00:00:47.080
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    • I had my second son and something wasn't right.
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    • I had my second son and something wasn't right.
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    • 00:00:48.220 --> 00:00:52.120
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    • 00:00:48.220 --> 00:00:52.120
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    • I knew it.
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    • I knew it.
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    • 00:00:52.120 --> 00:00:53.190
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    • 00:00:52.120 --> 00:00:53.190
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    • I had my first kid, I was normal.
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    • I had my first kid, I was normal.
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    • 00:00:53.190 --> 00:00:56.010
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    • 00:00:53.190 --> 00:00:56.010
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    • And the second one I was like, "Something's off."
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    • And the second one I was like, "Something's off."
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    • 00:00:56.010 --> 00:00:58.170
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    • 00:00:56.010 --> 00:00:58.170
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    • And I went to the pediatrician
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    • And I went to the pediatrician
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    • 00:00:58.170 --> 00:01:00.110
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    • 00:00:58.170 --> 00:01:00.110
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    • and I was talking to her and she said,
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    • and I was talking to her and she said,
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    • 00:01:00.110 --> 00:01:03.080
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    • "You know, it sounds like you have post partum depression,"
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    • "You know, it sounds like you have post partum depression,"
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    • 00:01:03.080 --> 00:01:05.200
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    • 00:01:03.080 --> 00:01:05.200
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    • and I hadn't heard that before.
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    • and I hadn't heard that before.
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    • 00:01:05.200 --> 00:01:07.000
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    • 00:01:05.200 --> 00:01:07.000
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    • I didn't even really know what it was.
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    • I didn't even really know what it was.
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    • 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:08.270
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    • 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:08.270
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    • And I remember just tears streaming down my face
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    • And I remember just tears streaming down my face
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    • 00:01:11.210 --> 00:01:13.210
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    • 00:01:11.210 --> 00:01:13.210
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    • as she said it.
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    • as she said it.
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    • 00:01:13.210 --> 00:01:15.030
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    • Have you ever have had someone acknowledge something
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    • Have you ever have had someone acknowledge something
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    • 00:01:15.030 --> 00:01:16.080
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    • 00:01:15.030 --> 00:01:16.080
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    • when you're like, "Something isn't right."
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    • when you're like, "Something isn't right."
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    • 00:01:16.080 --> 00:01:17.230
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    • 00:01:16.080 --> 00:01:17.230
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    • And I remember running to my car
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    • And I remember running to my car
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    • 00:01:17.230 --> 00:01:19.240
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    • and one of my friend's moms was a counselor,
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    • and one of my friend's moms was a counselor,
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    • 00:01:19.240 --> 00:01:21.170
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    • a Christian counselor in town, and she said,
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    • a Christian counselor in town, and she said,
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    • 00:01:21.170 --> 00:01:24.080
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    • 00:01:21.170 --> 00:01:24.080
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    • "You need to call somebody,
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    • "You need to call somebody,
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    • 00:01:24.080 --> 00:01:25.230
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    • 00:01:24.080 --> 00:01:25.230
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    • "because they're gonna need to walk you through this,"
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    • "because they're gonna need to walk you through this,"
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    • 00:01:25.230 --> 00:01:26.280
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    • 00:01:25.230 --> 00:01:26.280
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    • and so I remember leaving a message on her
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    • and so I remember leaving a message on her
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    • 00:01:26.280 --> 00:01:29.080
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    • voice message when I was sitting in my car.
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    • voice message when I was sitting in my car.
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    • 00:01:30.140 --> 00:01:32.010
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    • 00:01:30.140 --> 00:01:32.010
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    • And I knew if I didn't do it that moment I wouldn't do it
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    • And I knew if I didn't do it that moment I wouldn't do it
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    • 00:01:32.010 --> 00:01:34.100
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    • because here I was, a minister,
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    • because here I was, a minister,
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    • and ministers don't get help, you know, we are help.
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    • and ministers don't get help, you know, we are help.
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    • 00:01:35.240 --> 00:01:38.180
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    • 00:01:35.240 --> 00:01:38.180
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    • And I knew something's off,
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    • And I knew something's off,
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    • 00:01:38.180 --> 00:01:40.000
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    • but I don't go to a counselor, that's not really
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    • but I don't go to a counselor, that's not really
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    • 00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:41.170
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    • what we did back in the day and
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    • what we did back in the day and
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    • 00:01:41.170 --> 00:01:43.070
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    • 00:01:41.170 --> 00:01:43.070
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    • so I remember leaving a message for her
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    • so I remember leaving a message for her
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    • 00:01:43.070 --> 00:01:44.160
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    • 00:01:43.070 --> 00:01:44.160
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    • and she called me back and she said,
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    • and she called me back and she said,
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    • 00:01:44.160 --> 00:01:46.060
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    • "Come in tomorrow."
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    • "Come in tomorrow."
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    • 00:01:46.060 --> 00:01:47.160
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    • I thought she was being nice, I didn't know
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    • I thought she was being nice, I didn't know
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    • 00:01:47.160 --> 00:01:48.290
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    • there was a difference between post partum depression
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    • there was a difference between post partum depression
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    • 00:01:48.290 --> 00:01:51.040
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    • and post partum psychosis and they really wanna
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    • and post partum psychosis and they really wanna
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    • 00:01:51.040 --> 00:01:52.250
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    • see you quickly so you don't hurt your child.
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    • see you quickly so you don't hurt your child.
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    • 00:01:52.250 --> 00:01:55.040
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    • So I ran in, yeah.
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    • So I ran in, yeah.
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    • 00:01:55.040 --> 00:01:57.110
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    • So I walked in and she asked me some questions
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    • So I walked in and she asked me some questions
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    • 00:01:57.110 --> 00:01:59.150
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    • and I'm like, "Okay yeah, this, this, this, this,"
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    • and I'm like, "Okay yeah, this, this, this, this,"
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    • 00:01:59.150 --> 00:02:01.170
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    • 00:01:59.150 --> 00:02:01.170
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    • and she said, "Well do you wanna know what I think?"
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    • and she said, "Well do you wanna know what I think?"
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    • 00:02:01.170 --> 00:02:02.280
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    • And I said, "Yeah," and she said,
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    • And I said, "Yeah," and she said,
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    • 00:02:02.280 --> 00:02:04.050
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    • 00:02:02.280 --> 00:02:04.050
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    • "Well, out of the 14 different points
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    • "Well, out of the 14 different points
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    • 00:02:04.050 --> 00:02:06.170
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    • "of post partum depression, you have 13 of them."
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    • "of post partum depression, you have 13 of them."
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    • 00:02:06.170 --> 00:02:09.100
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    • 00:02:06.170 --> 00:02:09.100
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    • And I remember just crying and I said,
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    • And I remember just crying and I said,
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    • 00:02:09.100 --> 00:02:11.050
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    • 00:02:09.100 --> 00:02:11.050
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    • "Well what do you want me to do?
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    • "Well what do you want me to do?
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    • 00:02:11.050 --> 00:02:12.210
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    • "'Cause I'm a leader, leaders go what do you want me to do,
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    • "'Cause I'm a leader, leaders go what do you want me to do,
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    • 00:02:12.210 --> 00:02:14.100
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    • 00:02:12.210 --> 00:02:14.100
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    • "what do you want me to pray?"
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    • "what do you want me to pray?"
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    • 00:02:14.100 --> 00:02:15.190
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    • 00:02:14.100 --> 00:02:15.190
    • -->
    • And she said, "I want you to go home
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    • And she said, "I want you to go home
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    • 00:02:15.190 --> 00:02:16.250
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    • 00:02:15.190 --> 00:02:16.250
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    • "and get a couple nights sleep and then
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    • "and get a couple nights sleep and then
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    • 00:02:16.250 --> 00:02:18.040
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    • 00:02:16.250 --> 00:02:18.040
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    • "come back and see me," and so I did.
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    • "come back and see me," and so I did.
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    • 00:02:18.040 --> 00:02:20.180
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    • I did that and I started to kind of walk through this
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    • I did that and I started to kind of walk through this
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    • 00:02:20.180 --> 00:02:23.050
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    • trying to get healthy.
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    • trying to get healthy.
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    • 00:02:23.050 --> 00:02:24.200
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    • 00:02:23.050 --> 00:02:24.200
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    • And about six months into my counseling she said,
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    • And about six months into my counseling she said,
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    • 00:02:24.200 --> 00:02:26.240
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    • 00:02:24.200 --> 00:02:26.240
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    • "Do you wanna know something?"
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    • "Do you wanna know something?"
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    • 00:02:26.240 --> 00:02:27.260
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    • 00:02:26.240 --> 00:02:27.260
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    • And I said, "Okay."
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    • And I said, "Okay."
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    • 00:02:27.260 --> 00:02:29.090
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    • 00:02:27.260 --> 00:02:29.090
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    • And she said, "I wanna be honest with you, are you sure?"
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    • And she said, "I wanna be honest with you, are you sure?"
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    • 00:02:29.090 --> 00:02:30.290
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    • I said, "Okay," and she said,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I said, "Okay," and she said,
    • -->
    • 00:02:30.290 --> 00:02:32.130
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    • 00:02:30.290 --> 00:02:32.130
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    • "You would have been in here later
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "You would have been in here later
    • -->
    • 00:02:35.180 --> 00:02:37.060
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    • 00:02:35.180 --> 00:02:37.060
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    • "but the baby got you here sooner,"
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    • "but the baby got you here sooner,"
    • -->
    • 00:02:37.060 --> 00:02:39.000
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    • 00:02:37.060 --> 00:02:39.000
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    • and I wanted to punch her,
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    • and I wanted to punch her,
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    • 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:40.150
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    • 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:40.150
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    • 'cause I was like, "No, the baby got me in this room,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 'cause I was like, "No, the baby got me in this room,
    • -->
    • 00:02:40.150 --> 00:02:42.190
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    • 00:02:40.150 --> 00:02:42.190
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    • "it wasn't me."
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    • "it wasn't me."
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    • 00:02:42.190 --> 00:02:43.270
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    • 00:02:42.190 --> 00:02:43.270
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    • And she said, "You have no ability to understand
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And she said, "You have no ability to understand
    • -->
    • 00:02:43.270 --> 00:02:46.010
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    • "how to protect your own environment."
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    • "how to protect your own environment."
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    • 00:02:46.010 --> 00:02:48.000
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    • 00:02:46.010 --> 00:02:48.000
    • -->
    • You're a church kid and church kids seem to be
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    • You're a church kid and church kids seem to be
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    • in charge of everyone's experience of them,
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    • in charge of everyone's experience of them,
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    • 00:02:50.210 --> 00:02:52.280
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    • 00:02:50.210 --> 00:02:52.280
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    • and make sure everyone's happy with them.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and make sure everyone's happy with them.
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    • 00:02:52.280 --> 00:02:55.000
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    • 00:02:52.280 --> 00:02:55.000
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    • And so she said, "If you'll spend a year and a half with me,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so she said, "If you'll spend a year and a half with me,
    • -->
    • 00:02:55.000 --> 00:02:57.030
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    • 00:02:55.000 --> 00:02:57.030
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    • "I'll teach you what Godly boundaries look like,"
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    • "I'll teach you what Godly boundaries look like,"
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    • 00:02:57.030 --> 00:02:59.040
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    • 00:02:57.030 --> 00:02:59.040
    • -->
    • and she said, "But you have to be here every Friday,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and she said, "But you have to be here every Friday,
    • -->
    • 00:02:59.040 --> 00:03:00.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:02:59.040 --> 00:03:00.260
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    • "you're gonna sit with five women
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "you're gonna sit with five women
    • -->
    • 00:03:00.260 --> 00:03:02.080
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    • 00:03:00.260 --> 00:03:02.080
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    • "that are influential women in the city,
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    • "that are influential women in the city,
    • -->
    • 00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:03.220
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    • 00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:03.220
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    • "you're not allowed to know each other's last names
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "you're not allowed to know each other's last names
    • -->
    • 00:03:03.220 --> 00:03:06.020
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    • 00:03:03.220 --> 00:03:06.020
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    • "or what church you go to,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "or what church you go to,
    • -->
    • 00:03:06.020 --> 00:03:07.160
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    • 00:03:06.020 --> 00:03:07.160
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    • "but I'll sit and I'll teach you how to do this.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "but I'll sit and I'll teach you how to do this.
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    • 00:03:07.160 --> 00:03:09.050
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    • 00:03:07.160 --> 00:03:09.050
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    • - Wow. - And I sat
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Wow. - And I sat
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    • for a year and a half and I learned
    • " data-timeend="">
    • for a year and a half and I learned
    • -->
    • 00:03:10.120 --> 00:03:12.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:10.120 --> 00:03:12.000
    • -->
    • the power of a boundary.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • the power of a boundary.
    • -->
    • 00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:13.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:13.210
    • -->
    • And boundary wasn't just having a,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And boundary wasn't just having a,
    • -->
    • 00:03:13.210 --> 00:03:15.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:13.210 --> 00:03:15.210
    • -->
    • "I don't wanna do it."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "I don't wanna do it."
    • -->
    • 00:03:15.210 --> 00:03:17.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:15.210 --> 00:03:17.050
    • -->
    • A boundary was protecting what was most important to us.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • A boundary was protecting what was most important to us.
    • -->
    • 00:03:17.050 --> 00:03:19.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:17.050 --> 00:03:19.200
    • -->
    • And what God holds us responsible for.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And what God holds us responsible for.
    • -->
    • 00:03:19.200 --> 00:03:22.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:19.200 --> 00:03:22.030
    • -->
    • In my life, boundaries have been critical
    • " data-timeend="">
    • In my life, boundaries have been critical
    • -->
    • 00:03:23.070 --> 00:03:24.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:23.070 --> 00:03:24.270
    • -->
    • to walk me out of depression
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to walk me out of depression
    • -->
    • 00:03:24.270 --> 00:03:26.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:24.270 --> 00:03:26.140
    • -->
    • but also to keep me safe, to be on the road with my kids,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but also to keep me safe, to be on the road with my kids,
    • -->
    • 00:03:26.140 --> 00:03:29.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:26.140 --> 00:03:29.260
    • -->
    • so boundaries isn't just a word I throw out.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • so boundaries isn't just a word I throw out.
    • -->
    • 00:03:29.260 --> 00:03:32.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:29.260 --> 00:03:32.130
    • -->
    • Boundaries keep the good in and the bad out.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Boundaries keep the good in and the bad out.
    • -->
    • 00:03:32.130 --> 00:03:35.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:32.130 --> 00:03:35.110
    • -->
    • And so when we have healthy boundaries,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so when we have healthy boundaries,
    • -->
    • 00:03:35.110 --> 00:03:37.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:35.110 --> 00:03:37.130
    • -->
    • it allows us to live in our own space
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it allows us to live in our own space
    • -->
    • 00:03:37.130 --> 00:03:39.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:37.130 --> 00:03:39.170
    • -->
    • without the fear that we have to manage
    • " data-timeend="">
    • without the fear that we have to manage
    • -->
    • 00:03:39.170 --> 00:03:41.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:39.170 --> 00:03:41.290
    • -->
    • more than we can manage.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • more than we can manage.
    • -->
    • 00:03:41.290 --> 00:03:43.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:41.290 --> 00:03:43.080
    • -->
    • God holds us responsible for three things,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • God holds us responsible for three things,
    • -->
    • 00:03:43.080 --> 00:03:45.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:43.080 --> 00:03:45.030
    • -->
    • I didn't know this.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I didn't know this.
    • -->
    • 00:03:45.030 --> 00:03:46.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:45.030 --> 00:03:46.180
    • -->
    • She said, "Our choices, our feelings, our attitudes."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • She said, "Our choices, our feelings, our attitudes."
    • -->
    • 00:03:46.180 --> 00:03:49.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:46.180 --> 00:03:49.260
    • -->
    • And that's our yard and our yard has
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And that's our yard and our yard has
    • -->
    • 00:03:49.260 --> 00:03:51.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:49.260 --> 00:03:51.270
    • -->
    • this little fence around us.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • this little fence around us.
    • -->
    • 00:03:51.270 --> 00:03:53.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:51.270 --> 00:03:53.180
    • -->
    • And it's not a cement prison, it's a space
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And it's not a cement prison, it's a space
    • -->
    • 00:03:53.180 --> 00:03:57.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:53.180 --> 00:03:57.130
    • -->
    • that we have that we nurture and monitor.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that we have that we nurture and monitor.
    • -->
    • 00:03:57.130 --> 00:04:00.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:03:57.130 --> 00:04:00.020
    • -->
    • And some people come around and you know,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And some people come around and you know,
    • -->
    • 00:04:00.020 --> 00:04:01.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:00.020 --> 00:04:01.150
    • -->
    • you have that crazy mother in law that's like,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • you have that crazy mother in law that's like,
    • -->
    • 00:04:01.150 --> 00:04:03.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:01.150 --> 00:04:03.230
    • -->
    • "You shouldn't raise your kids like that,"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "You shouldn't raise your kids like that,"
    • -->
    • 00:04:03.230 --> 00:04:05.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:03.230 --> 00:04:05.070
    • -->
    • and she said, "Well her yard is too close to yours,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and she said, "Well her yard is too close to yours,
    • -->
    • 00:04:05.070 --> 00:04:07.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:05.070 --> 00:04:07.120
    • -->
    • "So you move her yard a little bit further out
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "So you move her yard a little bit further out
    • -->
    • 00:04:07.120 --> 00:04:09.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:07.120 --> 00:04:09.090
    • -->
    • "and you begin to see that this yard is yours
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "and you begin to see that this yard is yours
    • -->
    • 00:04:09.090 --> 00:04:11.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:09.090 --> 00:04:11.150
    • -->
    • "and if your kids are under 18, they're in your yard
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "and if your kids are under 18, they're in your yard
    • -->
    • 00:04:11.150 --> 00:04:14.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:11.150 --> 00:04:14.020
    • -->
    • "and so you get to help their choices
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "and so you get to help their choices
    • -->
    • 00:04:14.020 --> 00:04:16.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:14.020 --> 00:04:16.010
    • -->
    • "and their attitudes and their feelings."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "and their attitudes and their feelings."
    • -->
    • 00:04:16.010 --> 00:04:17.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:16.010 --> 00:04:17.260
    • -->
    • But things like this, how you choose to respond
    • " data-timeend="">
    • But things like this, how you choose to respond
    • -->
    • 00:04:17.260 --> 00:04:21.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:17.260 --> 00:04:21.170
    • -->
    • says everything about you,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • says everything about you,
    • -->
    • 00:04:21.170 --> 00:04:23.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:21.170 --> 00:04:23.060
    • -->
    • and how I choose to respond says everything about me.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and how I choose to respond says everything about me.
    • -->
    • 00:04:23.060 --> 00:04:25.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:23.060 --> 00:04:25.270
    • -->
    • I did not understand that concept.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I did not understand that concept.
    • -->
    • 00:04:25.270 --> 00:04:27.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:25.270 --> 00:04:27.130
    • -->
    • It was, "If you're mad at me, I'm responsible
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It was, "If you're mad at me, I'm responsible
    • -->
    • 00:04:27.130 --> 00:04:29.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:27.130 --> 00:04:29.290
    • -->
    • "and I will sit and talk to you
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "and I will sit and talk to you
    • -->
    • 00:04:29.290 --> 00:04:31.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:29.290 --> 00:04:31.050
    • -->
    • "until you're happy with me again."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "until you're happy with me again."
    • -->
    • 00:04:31.050 --> 00:04:32.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:31.050 --> 00:04:32.110
    • -->
    • - Yeah. - I didn't understand that.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Yeah. - I didn't understand that.
    • -->
    • 00:04:32.110 --> 00:04:33.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:32.110 --> 00:04:33.270
    • -->
    • So I was exhausted trying to keep everybody okay with me.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So I was exhausted trying to keep everybody okay with me.
    • -->
    • 00:04:33.270 --> 00:04:37.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:33.270 --> 00:04:37.250
    • -->
    • So things like that.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So things like that.
    • -->
    • 00:04:37.250 --> 00:04:39.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:37.250 --> 00:04:39.130
    • -->
    • - Wow, powerful. - Are really critical.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Wow, powerful. - Are really critical.
    • -->
    • 00:04:39.130 --> 00:04:40.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:39.130 --> 00:04:40.190
    • -->
    • So I had to start to learn and then realizing
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So I had to start to learn and then realizing
    • -->
    • 00:04:40.190 --> 00:04:42.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:40.190 --> 00:04:42.230
    • -->
    • that my experience was my choice.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that my experience was my choice.
    • -->
    • 00:04:44.060 --> 00:04:46.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:44.060 --> 00:04:46.100
    • -->
    • You know, CeCe you said that before,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You know, CeCe you said that before,
    • -->
    • 00:04:46.100 --> 00:04:47.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:46.100 --> 00:04:47.220
    • -->
    • the power of choice.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • the power of choice.
    • -->
    • 00:04:47.220 --> 00:04:49.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:47.220 --> 00:04:49.090
    • -->
    • I think as a minister, and then a minister's kid,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I think as a minister, and then a minister's kid,
    • -->
    • 00:04:49.090 --> 00:04:52.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:49.090 --> 00:04:52.100
    • -->
    • I didn't understand the power of choice.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I didn't understand the power of choice.
    • -->
    • 00:04:52.100 --> 00:04:53.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:52.100 --> 00:04:53.230
    • -->
    • I felt very powerless to what was
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I felt very powerless to what was
    • -->
    • 00:04:53.230 --> 00:04:56.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:53.230 --> 00:04:56.080
    • -->
    • the right and wrong in my life.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • the right and wrong in my life.
    • -->
    • 00:04:56.080 --> 00:04:58.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:56.080 --> 00:04:58.060
    • -->
    • Rather than what God had called me to be
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Rather than what God had called me to be
    • -->
    • 00:04:58.060 --> 00:05:00.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:04:58.060 --> 00:05:00.050
    • -->
    • in the space that I was filling.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • in the space that I was filling.
    • -->
    • 00:05:00.050 --> 00:05:01.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:00.050 --> 00:05:01.240
    • -->
    • And so I realized
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so I realized
    • -->
    • 00:05:01.240 --> 00:05:04.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:01.240 --> 00:05:04.010
    • -->
    • the idea that you made me mad, no I'm not that powerful.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • the idea that you made me mad, no I'm not that powerful.
    • -->
    • 00:05:04.010 --> 00:05:08.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:04.010 --> 00:05:08.140
    • -->
    • I'm not powerful enough to go inside of you
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'm not powerful enough to go inside of you
    • -->
    • 00:05:08.140 --> 00:05:10.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:08.140 --> 00:05:10.080
    • -->
    • and choose anger, you did that.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and choose anger, you did that.
    • -->
    • 00:05:10.080 --> 00:05:12.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:10.080 --> 00:05:12.090
    • -->
    • And things like that that I had no concept for.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And things like that that I had no concept for.
    • -->
    • 00:05:13.210 --> 00:05:15.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:13.210 --> 00:05:15.280
    • -->
    • I thought you made people mad,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I thought you made people mad,
    • -->
    • 00:05:15.280 --> 00:05:17.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:15.280 --> 00:05:17.090
    • -->
    • I thought you made people happy,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I thought you made people happy,
    • -->
    • 00:05:17.090 --> 00:05:18.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:17.090 --> 00:05:18.220
    • -->
    • I thought I was responsible for that.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I thought I was responsible for that.
    • -->
    • 00:05:18.220 --> 00:05:20.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:18.220 --> 00:05:20.120
    • -->
    • And once I started to realize I didn't hold any of that,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And once I started to realize I didn't hold any of that,
    • -->
    • 00:05:20.120 --> 00:05:23.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:20.120 --> 00:05:23.060
    • -->
    • that was like a mirage of power.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that was like a mirage of power.
    • -->
    • 00:05:23.060 --> 00:05:25.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:23.060 --> 00:05:25.190
    • -->
    • Once I realized that what was happening internally,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Once I realized that what was happening internally,
    • -->
    • 00:05:25.190 --> 00:05:27.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:25.190 --> 00:05:27.220
    • -->
    • my choices, attitudes and feelings,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • my choices, attitudes and feelings,
    • -->
    • 00:05:27.220 --> 00:05:29.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:27.220 --> 00:05:29.080
    • -->
    • were all in my world,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • were all in my world,
    • -->
    • 00:05:29.080 --> 00:05:31.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:29.080 --> 00:05:31.100
    • -->
    • things got manageable.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • things got manageable.
    • -->
    • 00:05:31.100 --> 00:05:32.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:31.100 --> 00:05:32.170
    • -->
    • When we have healthy space and boundaries,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • When we have healthy space and boundaries,
    • -->
    • 00:05:32.170 --> 00:05:35.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:32.170 --> 00:05:35.150
    • -->
    • things get manageable.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • things get manageable.
    • -->
    • 00:05:35.150 --> 00:05:36.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:35.150 --> 00:05:36.240
    • -->
    • I can monitor that.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I can monitor that.
    • -->
    • 00:05:36.240 --> 00:05:37.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:36.240 --> 00:05:37.290
    • -->
    • I can do that well.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I can do that well.
    • -->
    • 00:05:37.290 --> 00:05:39.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:37.290 --> 00:05:39.120
    • -->
    • I can't monitor your choices and your attitudes
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I can't monitor your choices and your attitudes
    • -->
    • 00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:41.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:41.100
    • -->
    • and your feelings because I have no power
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and your feelings because I have no power
    • -->
    • 00:05:41.100 --> 00:05:43.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:41.100 --> 00:05:43.040
    • -->
    • to go inside of there and make that choice.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to go inside of there and make that choice.
    • -->
    • 00:05:43.040 --> 00:05:45.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:43.040 --> 00:05:45.040
    • -->
    • So that was critical for me and to this day,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So that was critical for me and to this day,
    • -->
    • 00:05:45.040 --> 00:05:47.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:45.040 --> 00:05:47.150
    • -->
    • I call it my yard and I'll say, I'll think to myself,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I call it my yard and I'll say, I'll think to myself,
    • -->
    • 00:05:47.150 --> 00:05:51.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:47.150 --> 00:05:51.040
    • -->
    • "Is that in my yard or is that not?"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Is that in my yard or is that not?"
    • -->
    • 00:05:51.040 --> 00:05:52.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:51.040 --> 00:05:52.190
    • -->
    • How you think about my right now, it's not in my yard.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • How you think about my right now, it's not in my yard.
    • -->
    • 00:05:52.190 --> 00:05:55.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:52.190 --> 00:05:55.070
    • -->
    • I'm now powerful enough.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'm now powerful enough.
    • -->
    • 00:05:55.070 --> 00:05:57.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:55.070 --> 00:05:57.080
    • -->
    • If that hurt you, then you'll have to be
    • " data-timeend="">
    • If that hurt you, then you'll have to be
    • -->
    • 00:05:57.080 --> 00:05:58.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:57.080 --> 00:05:58.240
    • -->
    • powerful enough to come tell me.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • powerful enough to come tell me.
    • -->
    • 00:05:58.240 --> 00:06:00.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:05:58.240 --> 00:06:00.130
    • -->
    • And those were things that were very distinct
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And those were things that were very distinct
    • -->
    • 00:06:00.130 --> 00:06:02.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:00.130 --> 00:06:02.170
    • -->
    • and it's taken me years to learn.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and it's taken me years to learn.
    • -->
    • 00:06:02.170 --> 00:06:04.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:02.170 --> 00:06:04.000
    • -->
    • I don't have it perfect, but it helps me know
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I don't have it perfect, but it helps me know
    • -->
    • 00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:06.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:06.200
    • -->
    • how to keep life manageable.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • how to keep life manageable.
    • -->
    • 00:06:06.200 --> 00:06:08.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:06.200 --> 00:06:08.100
    • -->
    • - That's awesome. - What's this lady's name?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - That's awesome. - What's this lady's name?
    • -->
    • 00:06:08.100 --> 00:06:10.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:08.100 --> 00:06:10.020
    • -->
    • (all laughing) - She's incredible!
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (all laughing) - She's incredible!
    • -->
    • 00:06:10.020 --> 00:06:11.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:10.020 --> 00:06:11.220
    • -->
    • She was a minister's kid and married to a minister
    • " data-timeend="">
    • She was a minister's kid and married to a minister
    • -->
    • 00:06:11.220 --> 00:06:14.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:11.220 --> 00:06:14.120
    • -->
    • and she saved me life.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and she saved me life.
    • -->
    • 00:06:14.120 --> 00:06:16.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:14.120 --> 00:06:16.060
    • -->
    • I could get emotional because she saved my life.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I could get emotional because she saved my life.
    • -->
    • 00:06:16.060 --> 00:06:19.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:16.060 --> 00:06:19.240
    • -->
    • She was willing to say, "You won't make it."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • She was willing to say, "You won't make it."
    • -->
    • 00:06:19.240 --> 00:06:22.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:19.240 --> 00:06:22.150
    • -->
    • - Yeah. - Yeah.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Yeah. - Yeah.
    • -->
    • 00:06:22.150 --> 00:06:23.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:22.150 --> 00:06:23.210
    • -->
    • - You will not make it in ministry.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - You will not make it in ministry.
    • -->
    • 00:06:23.210 --> 00:06:24.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:23.210 --> 00:06:24.270
    • -->
    • And I said she saved my life because
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I said she saved my life because
    • -->
    • 00:06:24.270 --> 00:06:27.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:24.270 --> 00:06:27.090
    • -->
    • I didn't know that I needed saving
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I didn't know that I needed saving
    • -->
    • 00:06:27.090 --> 00:06:29.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:27.090 --> 00:06:29.010
    • -->
    • and I think that's kind of how
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and I think that's kind of how
    • -->
    • 00:06:29.010 --> 00:06:30.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:29.010 --> 00:06:30.200
    • -->
    • spiritual transformation happens.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • spiritual transformation happens.
    • -->
    • 00:06:30.200 --> 00:06:32.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:30.200 --> 00:06:32.070
    • -->
    • Initially we have pain and God comes,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Initially we have pain and God comes,
    • -->
    • 00:06:32.070 --> 00:06:35.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:32.070 --> 00:06:35.080
    • -->
    • somebody comes on behalf of God, and we begin to realize,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • somebody comes on behalf of God, and we begin to realize,
    • -->
    • 00:06:35.080 --> 00:06:38.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:35.080 --> 00:06:38.280
    • -->
    • "Wow, I really am sitting in darkness.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Wow, I really am sitting in darkness.
    • -->
    • 00:06:38.280 --> 00:06:40.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:38.280 --> 00:06:40.280
    • -->
    • "I need to be lifted out of this into light."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "I need to be lifted out of this into light."
    • -->
    • 00:06:40.280 --> 00:06:43.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:40.280 --> 00:06:43.050
    • -->
    • And so as I sat with her, I think about how much life
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so as I sat with her, I think about how much life
    • -->
    • 00:06:43.050 --> 00:06:46.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:43.050 --> 00:06:46.120
    • -->
    • I was given because what I realized
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I was given because what I realized
    • -->
    • 00:06:46.120 --> 00:06:48.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:46.120 --> 00:06:48.240
    • -->
    • was that the world causes us to be consumers
    • " data-timeend="">
    • was that the world causes us to be consumers
    • -->
    • 00:06:48.240 --> 00:06:52.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:48.240 --> 00:06:52.100
    • -->
    • and we can end up being bankrupt
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and we can end up being bankrupt
    • -->
    • 00:06:52.100 --> 00:06:53.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:52.100 --> 00:06:53.280
    • -->
    • emotionally, mentally, financially, physically.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • emotionally, mentally, financially, physically.
    • -->
    • 00:06:53.280 --> 00:06:58.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:53.280 --> 00:06:58.110
    • -->
    • There's such a consumer mentality
    • " data-timeend="">
    • There's such a consumer mentality
    • -->
    • 00:06:58.110 --> 00:07:00.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:06:58.110 --> 00:07:00.070
    • -->
    • and we need to get all these needs met
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and we need to get all these needs met
    • -->
    • 00:07:00.070 --> 00:07:01.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:00.070 --> 00:07:01.260
    • -->
    • and so when we have healthy boundaries
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and so when we have healthy boundaries
    • -->
    • 00:07:01.260 --> 00:07:04.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:01.260 --> 00:07:04.030
    • -->
    • it's allowing ourselves to hear the word, "No,"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it's allowing ourselves to hear the word, "No,"
    • -->
    • 00:07:04.030 --> 00:07:07.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:04.030 --> 00:07:07.010
    • -->
    • or, "Not yet," or, "It's not time yet."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • or, "Not yet," or, "It's not time yet."
    • -->
    • 00:07:07.010 --> 00:07:10.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:07.010 --> 00:07:10.120
    • -->
    • And all of those things allow us to relax
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And all of those things allow us to relax
    • -->
    • 00:07:10.120 --> 00:07:13.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:10.120 --> 00:07:13.010
    • -->
    • and to believe in the timing of God.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and to believe in the timing of God.
    • -->
    • 00:07:13.010 --> 00:07:14.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:13.010 --> 00:07:14.260
    • -->
    • I think boundaries keep us safe.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I think boundaries keep us safe.
    • -->
    • 00:07:14.260 --> 00:07:17.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:14.260 --> 00:07:17.060
    • -->
    • They're not to keep us locked in,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • They're not to keep us locked in,
    • -->
    • 00:07:17.060 --> 00:07:18.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:17.060 --> 00:07:18.210
    • -->
    • they're to keep the good things in and the bad things out.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • they're to keep the good things in and the bad things out.
    • -->
    • 00:07:18.210 --> 00:07:21.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:18.210 --> 00:07:21.160
    • -->
    • - I found it actually when you have that revelation of,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I found it actually when you have that revelation of,
    • -->
    • 00:07:21.160 --> 00:07:23.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:21.160 --> 00:07:23.240
    • -->
    • "Okay, this is my yard, this is what I'm..."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Okay, this is my yard, this is what I'm..."
    • -->
    • 00:07:23.240 --> 00:07:27.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:23.240 --> 00:07:27.060
    • -->
    • Not everybody's happy when you set that--
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Not everybody's happy when you set that--
    • -->
    • 00:07:27.060 --> 00:07:28.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:27.060 --> 00:07:28.260
    • -->
    • - No, no, that's right.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - No, no, that's right.
    • -->
    • 00:07:28.260 --> 00:07:30.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:28.260 --> 00:07:30.230
    • -->
    • - I actually had to do that with my mom in my marriage.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I actually had to do that with my mom in my marriage.
    • -->
    • 00:07:32.130 --> 00:07:36.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:32.130 --> 00:07:36.050
    • -->
    • And I remember thinking...
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I remember thinking...
    • -->
    • 00:07:36.050 --> 00:07:38.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:36.050 --> 00:07:38.140
    • -->
    • God was like,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • God was like,
    • -->
    • 00:07:38.140 --> 00:07:39.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:38.140 --> 00:07:39.130
    • -->
    • I didn't have a counselor but He actually said,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I didn't have a counselor but He actually said,
    • -->
    • 00:07:41.100 --> 00:07:44.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:41.100 --> 00:07:44.060
    • -->
    • "You are entangled with your mother."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "You are entangled with your mother."
    • -->
    • 00:07:44.060 --> 00:07:47.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:44.060 --> 00:07:47.020
    • -->
    • And he said, "You're trying to untie knots
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And he said, "You're trying to untie knots
    • -->
    • 00:07:47.020 --> 00:07:49.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:47.020 --> 00:07:49.090
    • -->
    • "and I need to take the sword of my spirit
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "and I need to take the sword of my spirit
    • -->
    • 00:07:49.090 --> 00:07:51.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:49.090 --> 00:07:51.000
    • -->
    • "and I need to sever what is unhealthy."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "and I need to sever what is unhealthy."
    • -->
    • 00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:53.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:53.020
    • -->
    • And He said, "Because you're enabling.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And He said, "Because you're enabling.
    • -->
    • 00:07:53.020 --> 00:07:55.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:53.020 --> 00:07:55.020
    • -->
    • "You're enabling, you feel responsible for her happiness.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "You're enabling, you feel responsible for her happiness.
    • -->
    • 00:07:55.020 --> 00:07:57.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:55.020 --> 00:07:57.290
    • -->
    • "If you're happy, you feel guilty because she's not happy.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "If you're happy, you feel guilty because she's not happy.
    • -->
    • 00:07:57.290 --> 00:08:01.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:07:57.290 --> 00:08:01.110
    • -->
    • "If your kids are good, you feel guilty
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "If your kids are good, you feel guilty
    • -->
    • 00:08:02.210 --> 00:08:04.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:02.210 --> 00:08:04.130
    • -->
    • "'cause you were a bad kid."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "'cause you were a bad kid."
    • -->
    • 00:08:04.130 --> 00:08:05.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:04.130 --> 00:08:05.270
    • -->
    • So it was all of this stuff and I remember Havilah,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So it was all of this stuff and I remember Havilah,
    • -->
    • 00:08:05.270 --> 00:08:08.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:05.270 --> 00:08:08.240
    • -->
    • I kneeled down and I said, and it didn't seem right
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I kneeled down and I said, and it didn't seem right
    • -->
    • 00:08:08.240 --> 00:08:12.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:08.240 --> 00:08:12.210
    • -->
    • 'cause she's a Christian and everything,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 'cause she's a Christian and everything,
    • -->
    • 00:08:12.210 --> 00:08:14.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:12.210 --> 00:08:14.050
    • -->
    • and I was like, "God, I don't know how to do this."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and I was like, "God, I don't know how to do this."
    • -->
    • 00:08:14.050 --> 00:08:16.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:14.050 --> 00:08:16.090
    • -->
    • And he said, "Let me pass my sword of the word."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And he said, "Let me pass my sword of the word."
    • -->
    • 00:08:16.090 --> 00:08:19.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:16.090 --> 00:08:19.060
    • -->
    • And I saw an angel in my mind's eye and it just severed
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I saw an angel in my mind's eye and it just severed
    • -->
    • 00:08:19.060 --> 00:08:24.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:19.060 --> 00:08:24.060
    • -->
    • and he said, "You owe her nothing but to love her."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and he said, "You owe her nothing but to love her."
    • -->
    • 00:08:25.200 --> 00:08:27.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:25.200 --> 00:08:27.090
    • -->
    • And so I remember the next time I saw my mom,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so I remember the next time I saw my mom,
    • -->
    • 00:08:27.090 --> 00:08:31.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:27.090 --> 00:08:31.270
    • -->
    • she was like, "Something's changed,"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • she was like, "Something's changed,"
    • -->
    • 00:08:31.270 --> 00:08:34.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:31.270 --> 00:08:34.090
    • -->
    • because she didn't have that control thing on me anymore.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because she didn't have that control thing on me anymore.
    • -->
    • 00:08:34.090 --> 00:08:36.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:34.090 --> 00:08:36.270
    • -->
    • - Right, right.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Right, right.
    • -->
    • 00:08:36.270 --> 00:08:38.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:36.270 --> 00:08:38.110
    • -->
    • - Because if she came over, John would have a sense
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Because if she came over, John would have a sense
    • -->
    • 00:08:38.110 --> 00:08:40.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:38.110 --> 00:08:40.100
    • -->
    • that my mom had been there, I would be shrunk
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that my mom had been there, I would be shrunk
    • -->
    • 00:08:40.100 --> 00:08:43.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:40.100 --> 00:08:43.010
    • -->
    • and felt guilty.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and felt guilty.
    • -->
    • 00:08:43.010 --> 00:08:44.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:43.010 --> 00:08:44.290
    • -->
    • From as long as I can remember,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • From as long as I can remember,
    • -->
    • 00:08:44.290 --> 00:08:46.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:44.290 --> 00:08:46.240
    • -->
    • somehow I felt responsible for my mother's choices,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • somehow I felt responsible for my mother's choices,
    • -->
    • 00:08:46.240 --> 00:08:50.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:46.240 --> 00:08:50.210
    • -->
    • my mother's happiness and for my mother.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • my mother's happiness and for my mother.
    • -->
    • 00:08:50.210 --> 00:08:53.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:50.210 --> 00:08:53.170
    • -->
    • Now there's a difference between honoring your parents
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Now there's a difference between honoring your parents
    • -->
    • 00:08:53.170 --> 00:08:56.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:53.170 --> 00:08:56.210
    • -->
    • and feeling like you're responsible
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and feeling like you're responsible
    • -->
    • 00:08:56.210 --> 00:08:58.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:56.210 --> 00:08:58.200
    • -->
    • for the emotional wellbeing of that person.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • for the emotional wellbeing of that person.
    • -->
    • 00:08:58.200 --> 00:09:01.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:08:58.200 --> 00:09:01.180
    • -->
    • And so I was in a deep time of prayer
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so I was in a deep time of prayer
    • -->
    • 00:09:01.180 --> 00:09:04.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:01.180 --> 00:09:04.170
    • -->
    • and God began to deal with me and say,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and God began to deal with me and say,
    • -->
    • 00:09:04.170 --> 00:09:07.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:04.170 --> 00:09:07.010
    • -->
    • "You're actually intervening on some stuff
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "You're actually intervening on some stuff
    • -->
    • 00:09:07.010 --> 00:09:09.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:07.010 --> 00:09:09.260
    • -->
    • "I wanna do in your mom's life.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "I wanna do in your mom's life.
    • -->
    • 00:09:09.260 --> 00:09:11.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:09.260 --> 00:09:11.270
    • -->
    • "I want to touch her, and you're trying to be her rescuer.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "I want to touch her, and you're trying to be her rescuer.
    • -->
    • 00:09:11.270 --> 00:09:15.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:11.270 --> 00:09:15.070
    • -->
    • "You're trying to be her savior.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "You're trying to be her savior.
    • -->
    • 00:09:15.070 --> 00:09:17.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:15.070 --> 00:09:17.050
    • -->
    • "You need to back up out of the way,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "You need to back up out of the way,
    • -->
    • 00:09:17.050 --> 00:09:19.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:17.050 --> 00:09:19.110
    • -->
    • "because it's unhealthy for her and it's unhealthy for you."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "because it's unhealthy for her and it's unhealthy for you."
    • -->
    • 00:09:19.110 --> 00:09:22.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:19.110 --> 00:09:22.260
    • -->
    • A lot of times when you're in a position like me,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • A lot of times when you're in a position like me,
    • -->
    • 00:09:22.260 --> 00:09:25.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:22.260 --> 00:09:25.090
    • -->
    • I was the child that was the fixer,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I was the child that was the fixer,
    • -->
    • 00:09:25.090 --> 00:09:26.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:25.090 --> 00:09:26.280
    • -->
    • I was the child that was the intermediate,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I was the child that was the intermediate,
    • -->
    • 00:09:26.280 --> 00:09:28.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:26.280 --> 00:09:28.210
    • -->
    • I was the child that was the go between
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I was the child that was the go between
    • -->
    • 00:09:28.210 --> 00:09:30.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:28.210 --> 00:09:30.160
    • -->
    • my mother and my father, my mother and my brother.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • my mother and my father, my mother and my brother.
    • -->
    • 00:09:30.160 --> 00:09:32.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:30.160 --> 00:09:32.210
    • -->
    • And there came to a place where Jesus was like,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And there came to a place where Jesus was like,
    • -->
    • 00:09:32.210 --> 00:09:34.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:32.210 --> 00:09:34.240
    • -->
    • "You're not the mediator, I am the mediator,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "You're not the mediator, I am the mediator,
    • -->
    • 00:09:34.240 --> 00:09:37.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:34.240 --> 00:09:37.140
    • -->
    • "and you need to let go of this."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "and you need to let go of this."
    • -->
    • 00:09:37.140 --> 00:09:40.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:37.140 --> 00:09:40.090
    • -->
    • And so when I did that,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so when I did that,
    • -->
    • 00:09:40.090 --> 00:09:41.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:40.090 --> 00:09:41.190
    • -->
    • it kind of shifted some stuff.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it kind of shifted some stuff.
    • -->
    • 00:09:41.190 --> 00:09:43.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:41.190 --> 00:09:43.290
    • -->
    • When you take boundaries and take back your space,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • When you take boundaries and take back your space,
    • -->
    • 00:09:43.290 --> 00:09:47.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:43.290 --> 00:09:47.130
    • -->
    • sometimes people aren't happy about that
    • " data-timeend="">
    • sometimes people aren't happy about that
    • -->
    • 00:09:47.130 --> 00:09:49.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:47.130 --> 00:09:49.270
    • -->
    • so there's gotta be a strategy.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • so there's gotta be a strategy.
    • -->
    • 00:09:49.270 --> 00:09:52.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:49.270 --> 00:09:52.060
    • -->
    • Like what did she tell you to do so that you could say,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Like what did she tell you to do so that you could say,
    • -->
    • 00:09:52.060 --> 00:09:56.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:52.060 --> 00:09:56.120
    • -->
    • "This is no longer healthy," without insulting somebody
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "This is no longer healthy," without insulting somebody
    • -->
    • 00:09:56.120 --> 00:09:59.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:56.120 --> 00:09:59.150
    • -->
    • or alienating, what did you do?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • or alienating, what did you do?
    • -->
    • 00:09:59.150 --> 00:10:00.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:09:59.150 --> 00:10:00.210
    • -->
    • - Yes, I mean it's tricky, right?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Yes, I mean it's tricky, right?
    • -->
    • 00:10:00.210 --> 00:10:02.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:00.210 --> 00:10:02.160
    • -->
    • I think about, she really walked us through Galatians,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I think about, she really walked us through Galatians,
    • -->
    • 00:10:02.160 --> 00:10:05.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:02.160 --> 00:10:05.060
    • -->
    • where it talks about,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • where it talks about,
    • -->
    • 00:10:05.060 --> 00:10:06.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:05.060 --> 00:10:06.130
    • -->
    • "Everyone's to carry their own burden,"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Everyone's to carry their own burden,"
    • -->
    • 00:10:06.130 --> 00:10:07.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:06.130 --> 00:10:07.280
    • -->
    • or, "We're here to help each other's burdens
    • " data-timeend="">
    • or, "We're here to help each other's burdens
    • -->
    • 00:10:07.280 --> 00:10:09.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:07.280 --> 00:10:09.090
    • -->
    • "but we're to carry our own load,"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "but we're to carry our own load,"
    • -->
    • 00:10:09.090 --> 00:10:10.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:09.090 --> 00:10:10.170
    • -->
    • and she broke that up in the Greek and she said,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and she broke that up in the Greek and she said,
    • -->
    • 00:10:10.170 --> 00:10:13.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:10.170 --> 00:10:13.040
    • -->
    • "We're to carry each other's burdens
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "We're to carry each other's burdens
    • -->
    • 00:10:13.040 --> 00:10:14.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:13.040 --> 00:10:14.210
    • -->
    • "means crushing the load.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "means crushing the load.
    • -->
    • 00:10:14.210 --> 00:10:16.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:14.210 --> 00:10:16.050
    • -->
    • "It's like someone dies in your family or you lose your job,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "It's like someone dies in your family or you lose your job,
    • -->
    • 00:10:16.050 --> 00:10:19.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:16.050 --> 00:10:19.100
    • -->
    • "it's unmanageable, you're gonna die in the midst of it
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "it's unmanageable, you're gonna die in the midst of it
    • -->
    • 00:10:19.100 --> 00:10:21.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:19.100 --> 00:10:21.170
    • -->
    • "so we're gonna run and help you."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "so we're gonna run and help you."
    • -->
    • 00:10:21.170 --> 00:10:23.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:21.170 --> 00:10:23.030
    • -->
    • But she said, "It gets back to load, load is a backpack."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • But she said, "It gets back to load, load is a backpack."
    • -->
    • 00:10:23.030 --> 00:10:26.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:23.030 --> 00:10:26.220
    • -->
    • And she said, "Everyone's to carry their own backpack,"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And she said, "Everyone's to carry their own backpack,"
    • -->
    • 00:10:26.220 --> 00:10:29.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:26.220 --> 00:10:29.130
    • -->
    • and so she said, "Usually in every relationship,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and so she said, "Usually in every relationship,
    • -->
    • 00:10:29.130 --> 00:10:32.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:29.130 --> 00:10:32.000
    • -->
    • "there's a responsible and an irresponsible person,"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "there's a responsible and an irresponsible person,"
    • -->
    • 00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:34.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:34.250
    • -->
    • and she said, "The responsible person always likes
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and she said, "The responsible person always likes
    • -->
    • 00:10:34.250 --> 00:10:36.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:34.250 --> 00:10:36.210
    • -->
    • "to carry the backpack and the irresponsible person
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "to carry the backpack and the irresponsible person
    • -->
    • 00:10:36.210 --> 00:10:38.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:36.210 --> 00:10:38.120
    • -->
    • "has no problem with you carrying the backpack.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "has no problem with you carrying the backpack.
    • -->
    • 00:10:38.120 --> 00:10:40.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:38.120 --> 00:10:40.230
    • -->
    • "Pay my cellphone bill even though I'm an adult.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Pay my cellphone bill even though I'm an adult.
    • -->
    • 00:10:40.230 --> 00:10:43.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:40.230 --> 00:10:43.100
    • -->
    • "Absolutely, I need money again."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Absolutely, I need money again."
    • -->
    • 00:10:43.100 --> 00:10:46.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:43.100 --> 00:10:46.050
    • -->
    • And she said, "When you start to take care
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And she said, "When you start to take care
    • -->
    • 00:10:46.050 --> 00:10:47.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:46.050 --> 00:10:47.280
    • -->
    • "of everyone's loads, then when somebody's in trouble
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "of everyone's loads, then when somebody's in trouble
    • -->
    • 00:10:47.280 --> 00:10:50.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:47.280 --> 00:10:50.060
    • -->
    • "no one has any resources," or like,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "no one has any resources," or like,
    • -->
    • 00:10:50.060 --> 00:10:51.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:50.060 --> 00:10:51.220
    • -->
    • "We already gave to that offering,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "We already gave to that offering,
    • -->
    • 00:10:51.220 --> 00:10:53.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:51.220 --> 00:10:53.040
    • -->
    • "we're been giving to these people
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "we're been giving to these people
    • -->
    • 00:10:53.040 --> 00:10:54.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:53.040 --> 00:10:54.110
    • -->
    • "all these other offerings."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "all these other offerings."
    • -->
    • 00:10:54.110 --> 00:10:55.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:54.110 --> 00:10:55.200
    • -->
    • So for me what I find is an irresponsible person
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So for me what I find is an irresponsible person
    • -->
    • 00:10:55.200 --> 00:10:58.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:55.200 --> 00:10:58.160
    • -->
    • always reacts, so if I don't know what I'm responsible for,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • always reacts, so if I don't know what I'm responsible for,
    • -->
    • 00:10:58.160 --> 00:11:01.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:10:58.160 --> 00:11:01.270
    • -->
    • I'll immediately take on that chaos of,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'll immediately take on that chaos of,
    • -->
    • 00:11:01.270 --> 00:11:04.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:01.270 --> 00:11:04.120
    • -->
    • "Oh, you're not happy."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Oh, you're not happy."
    • -->
    • 00:11:04.120 --> 00:11:06.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:04.120 --> 00:11:06.090
    • -->
    • And so oftentimes what I like to do is,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so oftentimes what I like to do is,
    • -->
    • 00:11:06.090 --> 00:11:08.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:06.090 --> 00:11:08.140
    • -->
    • and this is what's really helped me,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and this is what's really helped me,
    • -->
    • 00:11:08.140 --> 00:11:09.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:08.140 --> 00:11:09.260
    • -->
    • is if you have a chaotic person in your world,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • is if you have a chaotic person in your world,
    • -->
    • 00:11:09.260 --> 00:11:12.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:09.260 --> 00:11:12.080
    • -->
    • they're like a drug addict.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • they're like a drug addict.
    • -->
    • 00:11:12.080 --> 00:11:13.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:12.080 --> 00:11:13.190
    • -->
    • They're somebody who's dependent upon this relationship
    • " data-timeend="">
    • They're somebody who's dependent upon this relationship
    • -->
    • 00:11:13.190 --> 00:11:16.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:13.190 --> 00:11:16.000
    • -->
    • so you wean them.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • so you wean them.
    • -->
    • 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:17.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:17.080
    • -->
    • You answer every other text message,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You answer every other text message,
    • -->
    • 00:11:17.080 --> 00:11:19.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:17.080 --> 00:11:19.120
    • -->
    • you answer every other email, you only see them once a week
    • " data-timeend="">
    • you answer every other email, you only see them once a week
    • -->
    • 00:11:19.120 --> 00:11:22.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:19.120 --> 00:11:22.170
    • -->
    • and you begin to wean those people.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and you begin to wean those people.
    • -->
    • 00:11:22.170 --> 00:11:24.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:22.170 --> 00:11:24.210
    • -->
    • 'Cause we don't need to operate in meanness,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 'Cause we don't need to operate in meanness,
    • -->
    • 00:11:24.210 --> 00:11:26.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:24.210 --> 00:11:26.120
    • -->
    • we just need to be able to pull them back and say,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • we just need to be able to pull them back and say,
    • -->
    • 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:28.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:28.290
    • -->
    • "You're kind of invading my space."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "You're kind of invading my space."
    • -->
    • 00:11:28.290 --> 00:11:31.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:28.290 --> 00:11:31.120
    • -->
    • And everyone always says, "What about my family?"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And everyone always says, "What about my family?"
    • -->
    • 00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:34.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:34.000
    • -->
    • 'Cause family, we just talked about this,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 'Cause family, we just talked about this,
    • -->
    • 00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:35.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:35.120
    • -->
    • family's like, how do I do this to my mother?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • family's like, how do I do this to my mother?
    • -->
    • 00:11:35.120 --> 00:11:37.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:35.120 --> 00:11:37.100
    • -->
    • It's very complicated,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It's very complicated,
    • -->
    • 00:11:37.100 --> 00:11:38.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:37.100 --> 00:11:38.260
    • -->
    • you have to know what God calls you to,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • you have to know what God calls you to,
    • -->
    • 00:11:38.260 --> 00:11:40.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:38.260 --> 00:11:40.120
    • -->
    • but ultimately you have to know what is in my yard?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but ultimately you have to know what is in my yard?
    • -->
    • 00:11:40.120 --> 00:11:43.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:40.120 --> 00:11:43.280
    • -->
    • And once I manage, that helps.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And once I manage, that helps.
    • -->
    • 00:11:43.280 --> 00:11:45.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:43.280 --> 00:11:45.220
    • -->
    • - Boundaries really create freedom.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Boundaries really create freedom.
    • -->
    • 00:11:45.220 --> 00:11:48.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:45.220 --> 00:11:48.180
    • -->
    • Creating those boundaries will lift the heavy load
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Creating those boundaries will lift the heavy load
    • -->
    • 00:11:50.020 --> 00:11:53.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:50.020 --> 00:11:53.100
    • -->
    • when you begin to carry only those things
    • " data-timeend="">
    • when you begin to carry only those things
    • -->
    • 00:11:53.100 --> 00:11:55.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:53.100 --> 00:11:55.280
    • -->
    • that God has equipped you to carry.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that God has equipped you to carry.
    • -->
    • 00:11:55.280 --> 00:11:59.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:55.280 --> 00:11:59.000
    • -->
    • - You can watch, "Better Together," episodes on demand.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - You can watch, "Better Together," episodes on demand.
    • -->
    • 00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:01.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:01.210
    • -->
    • - Go to bettertogether.tv to stream
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Go to bettertogether.tv to stream
    • -->
    • 00:12:01.210 --> 00:12:04.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:01.210 --> 00:12:04.090
    • -->
    • all of our latest conversations.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • all of our latest conversations.
    • -->
    • 00:12:04.090 --> 00:12:06.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:04.090 --> 00:12:06.010
    • -->
    • - And I think honestly for me, growing up in dysfunction,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - And I think honestly for me, growing up in dysfunction,
    • -->
    • 00:12:10.260 --> 00:12:15.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:10.260 --> 00:12:15.190
    • -->
    • I was always the rescuer and the fighter for my family.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I was always the rescuer and the fighter for my family.
    • -->
    • 00:12:15.190 --> 00:12:19.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:15.190 --> 00:12:19.020
    • -->
    • So when I got married, sometimes when we're raised in it,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So when I got married, sometimes when we're raised in it,
    • -->
    • 00:12:19.020 --> 00:12:22.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:19.020 --> 00:12:22.110
    • -->
    • we don't see it.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • we don't see it.
    • -->
    • 00:12:22.110 --> 00:12:23.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:22.110 --> 00:12:23.190
    • -->
    • And so it took my husband,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so it took my husband,
    • -->
    • 00:12:23.190 --> 00:12:26.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:23.190 --> 00:12:26.190
    • -->
    • who was an outside person who I trusted
    • " data-timeend="">
    • who was an outside person who I trusted
    • -->
    • 00:12:26.190 --> 00:12:29.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:26.190 --> 00:12:29.060
    • -->
    • with my life and my world,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • with my life and my world,
    • -->
    • 00:12:29.060 --> 00:12:30.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:29.060 --> 00:12:30.240
    • -->
    • to be able to speak into that and say,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to be able to speak into that and say,
    • -->
    • 00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:32.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:32.230
    • -->
    • "Here you go again,"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Here you go again,"
    • -->
    • 00:12:32.230 --> 00:12:34.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:32.230 --> 00:12:34.070
    • -->
    • Like, "You're going to the rescue,"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Like, "You're going to the rescue,"
    • -->
    • 00:12:34.070 --> 00:12:35.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:34.070 --> 00:12:35.160
    • -->
    • 'cause I didn't know how to set the boundary.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 'cause I didn't know how to set the boundary.
    • -->
    • 00:12:35.160 --> 00:12:37.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:35.160 --> 00:12:37.240
    • -->
    • So I just wanted to rescue 'cause I'm like,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So I just wanted to rescue 'cause I'm like,
    • -->
    • 00:12:37.240 --> 00:12:39.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:37.240 --> 00:12:39.060
    • -->
    • "No that's my... you know." - That's my family.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "No that's my... you know." - That's my family.
    • -->
    • 00:12:39.060 --> 00:12:40.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:39.060 --> 00:12:40.250
    • -->
    • - Yes, and I wanna make sure they're taken care of
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Yes, and I wanna make sure they're taken care of
    • -->
    • 00:12:40.250 --> 00:12:43.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:40.250 --> 00:12:43.000
    • -->
    • and how do I not send 'em money whenever I'm taken care of.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and how do I not send 'em money whenever I'm taken care of.
    • -->
    • 00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:47.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:47.160
    • -->
    • But he would step in and he would be eyes for me
    • " data-timeend="">
    • But he would step in and he would be eyes for me
    • -->
    • 00:12:47.160 --> 00:12:50.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:47.160 --> 00:12:50.260
    • -->
    • when my eyes weren't doing too well.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • when my eyes weren't doing too well.
    • -->
    • 00:12:50.260 --> 00:12:52.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:50.260 --> 00:12:52.260
    • -->
    • And he would almost correct me gently and with that
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And he would almost correct me gently and with that
    • -->
    • 00:12:52.260 --> 00:12:57.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:52.260 --> 00:12:57.120
    • -->
    • it taught me how to set boundaries.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it taught me how to set boundaries.
    • -->
    • 00:12:57.120 --> 00:12:59.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:57.120 --> 00:12:59.150
    • -->
    • It's hard for me to set boundaries, honestly.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It's hard for me to set boundaries, honestly.
    • -->
    • 00:12:59.150 --> 00:13:02.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:12:59.150 --> 00:13:02.040
    • -->
    • It's something that I'm learning,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • It's something that I'm learning,
    • -->
    • 00:13:02.040 --> 00:13:03.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:02.040 --> 00:13:03.100
    • -->
    • once again, I'm like a people pleaser
    • " data-timeend="">
    • once again, I'm like a people pleaser
    • -->
    • 00:13:03.100 --> 00:13:05.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:03.100 --> 00:13:05.060
    • -->
    • so I want everyone to be happy
    • " data-timeend="">
    • so I want everyone to be happy
    • -->
    • 00:13:05.060 --> 00:13:06.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:05.060 --> 00:13:06.130
    • -->
    • but I think one huge thing for me
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but I think one huge thing for me
    • -->
    • 00:13:06.130 --> 00:13:08.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:06.130 --> 00:13:08.110
    • -->
    • has been stepping outside of myself
    • " data-timeend="">
    • has been stepping outside of myself
    • -->
    • 00:13:08.110 --> 00:13:10.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:08.110 --> 00:13:10.020
    • -->
    • and really leaning in to Robert's wisdom and his advice,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and really leaning in to Robert's wisdom and his advice,
    • -->
    • 00:13:10.020 --> 00:13:12.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:10.020 --> 00:13:12.190
    • -->
    • 'cause if we're divided and we're not on the same page,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 'cause if we're divided and we're not on the same page,
    • -->
    • 00:13:12.190 --> 00:13:15.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:12.190 --> 00:13:15.130
    • -->
    • then it trickles into every area.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • then it trickles into every area.
    • -->
    • 00:13:15.130 --> 00:13:17.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:15.130 --> 00:13:17.150
    • -->
    • And so usually I just take it to him
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so usually I just take it to him
    • -->
    • 00:13:17.150 --> 00:13:19.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:17.150 --> 00:13:19.110
    • -->
    • and we kinda process it together.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and we kinda process it together.
    • -->
    • 00:13:19.110 --> 00:13:21.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:19.110 --> 00:13:21.090
    • -->
    • And we get on the same page and then that
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And we get on the same page and then that
    • -->
    • 00:13:21.090 --> 00:13:23.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:21.090 --> 00:13:23.140
    • -->
    • makes everything just go a lot more smooth.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • makes everything just go a lot more smooth.
    • -->
    • 00:13:23.140 --> 00:13:25.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:23.140 --> 00:13:25.250
    • -->
    • - Boundaries really, it brings freedom.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Boundaries really, it brings freedom.
    • -->
    • 00:13:25.250 --> 00:13:28.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:25.250 --> 00:13:28.130
    • -->
    • - Yeah, it's so true. - Completely.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Yeah, it's so true. - Completely.
    • -->
    • 00:13:28.130 --> 00:13:31.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:28.130 --> 00:13:31.020
    • -->
    • (all laughing)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (all laughing)
    • -->
    • 00:13:31.020 --> 00:13:33.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:31.020 --> 00:13:33.220
    • -->
    • - Freedom.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Freedom.
    • -->
    • 00:13:33.220 --> 00:13:34.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:33.220 --> 00:13:34.280
    • -->
    • - And you know, God calls us to be like Him
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - And you know, God calls us to be like Him
    • -->
    • 00:13:34.280 --> 00:13:36.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:34.280 --> 00:13:36.190
    • -->
    • but he never called us to be God.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but he never called us to be God.
    • -->
    • 00:13:36.190 --> 00:13:38.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:36.190 --> 00:13:38.100
    • -->
    • - Right. - And I think
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Right. - And I think
    • -->
    • 00:13:38.100 --> 00:13:39.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:38.100 --> 00:13:39.080
    • -->
    • when you have that in you,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • when you have that in you,
    • -->
    • 00:13:39.080 --> 00:13:41.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:39.080 --> 00:13:41.220
    • -->
    • you're a nurturer and you wanna fix it,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • you're a nurturer and you wanna fix it,
    • -->
    • 00:13:41.220 --> 00:13:43.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:41.220 --> 00:13:43.150
    • -->
    • a lot of times we get in the way.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • a lot of times we get in the way.
    • -->
    • 00:13:43.150 --> 00:13:45.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:43.150 --> 00:13:45.000
    • -->
    • - You're interrupting-- - You're interrupting what
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - You're interrupting-- - You're interrupting what
    • -->
    • 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:46.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:46.070
    • -->
    • God wants to do with other people
    • " data-timeend="">
    • God wants to do with other people
    • -->
    • 00:13:46.070 --> 00:13:48.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:46.070 --> 00:13:48.050
    • -->
    • and we think we're helping 'em and we're not.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and we think we're helping 'em and we're not.
    • -->
    • 00:13:48.050 --> 00:13:50.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:48.050 --> 00:13:50.190
    • -->
    • You have great intentions but it's so important
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You have great intentions but it's so important
    • -->
    • 00:13:50.190 --> 00:13:53.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:50.190 --> 00:13:53.270
    • -->
    • that we don't allow our good intentions to get in the way.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that we don't allow our good intentions to get in the way.
    • -->
    • 00:13:53.270 --> 00:13:57.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:53.270 --> 00:13:57.110
    • -->
    • Because a lot of times, instead of helping people,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Because a lot of times, instead of helping people,
    • -->
    • 00:13:57.110 --> 00:14:00.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:13:57.110 --> 00:14:00.050
    • -->
    • we enable them.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • we enable them.
    • -->
    • 00:14:00.050 --> 00:14:01.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:00.050 --> 00:14:01.210
    • -->
    • And it's so important that we understand
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And it's so important that we understand
    • -->
    • 00:14:01.210 --> 00:14:04.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:01.210 --> 00:14:04.140
    • -->
    • that God called us to represent Him
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that God called us to represent Him
    • -->
    • 00:14:04.140 --> 00:14:06.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:04.140 --> 00:14:06.280
    • -->
    • and to be like Him but not to be Him, all right?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and to be like Him but not to be Him, all right?
    • -->
    • 00:14:06.280 --> 00:14:10.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:06.280 --> 00:14:10.170
    • -->
    • And God loves our loved ones, he loves our children,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And God loves our loved ones, he loves our children,
    • -->
    • 00:14:10.170 --> 00:14:14.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:10.170 --> 00:14:14.130
    • -->
    • he loves everybody more than you could ever love them
    • " data-timeend="">
    • he loves everybody more than you could ever love them
    • -->
    • 00:14:14.130 --> 00:14:17.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:14.130 --> 00:14:17.250
    • -->
    • so we have to learn to trust God with our situations.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • so we have to learn to trust God with our situations.
    • -->
    • 00:14:17.250 --> 00:14:22.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:17.250 --> 00:14:22.100
    • -->
    • We have to learn to trust God with those things
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We have to learn to trust God with those things
    • -->
    • 00:14:22.100 --> 00:14:24.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:22.100 --> 00:14:24.170
    • -->
    • that we cannot carry and we cannot fix,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that we cannot carry and we cannot fix,
    • -->
    • 00:14:24.170 --> 00:14:28.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:24.170 --> 00:14:28.040
    • -->
    • and once you learn to trust Him,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and once you learn to trust Him,
    • -->
    • 00:14:28.040 --> 00:14:29.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:28.040 --> 00:14:29.250
    • -->
    • then He'll be able to step in and to do those things
    • " data-timeend="">
    • then He'll be able to step in and to do those things
    • -->
    • 00:14:29.250 --> 00:14:32.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:29.250 --> 00:14:32.280
    • -->
    • that only He can do.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that only He can do.
    • -->
    • 00:14:32.280 --> 00:14:34.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:32.280 --> 00:14:34.210
    • -->
    • - I heard a pastor called it the Love Boat.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I heard a pastor called it the Love Boat.
    • -->
    • 00:14:34.210 --> 00:14:36.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:34.210 --> 00:14:36.260
    • -->
    • We always think we're running the Love Boat
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We always think we're running the Love Boat
    • -->
    • 00:14:36.260 --> 00:14:39.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:36.260 --> 00:14:39.010
    • -->
    • and everybody come on here,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and everybody come on here,
    • -->
    • 00:14:39.010 --> 00:14:40.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:39.010 --> 00:14:40.280
    • -->
    • and sometimes we're throwing all of our stuff
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and sometimes we're throwing all of our stuff
    • -->
    • 00:14:40.280 --> 00:14:42.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:40.280 --> 00:14:42.270
    • -->
    • off of our boat because you're on it.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • off of our boat because you're on it.
    • -->
    • 00:14:42.270 --> 00:14:45.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:42.270 --> 00:14:45.120
    • -->
    • - Mm-hmm. - You know?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Mm-hmm. - You know?
    • -->
    • 00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:47.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:47.140
    • -->
    • Or that relative's on it, and they shouldn't be,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Or that relative's on it, and they shouldn't be,
    • -->
    • 00:14:47.140 --> 00:14:50.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:47.140 --> 00:14:50.280
    • -->
    • they were called to go over here and they're not
    • " data-timeend="">
    • they were called to go over here and they're not
    • -->
    • 00:14:50.280 --> 00:14:53.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:50.280 --> 00:14:53.250
    • -->
    • and we're chucking all of our stuff,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and we're chucking all of our stuff,
    • -->
    • 00:14:53.250 --> 00:14:55.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:53.250 --> 00:14:55.110
    • -->
    • it's like, "Get off my boat."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it's like, "Get off my boat."
    • -->
    • 00:14:55.110 --> 00:14:57.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:55.110 --> 00:14:57.190
    • -->
    • - And I had to learn the hard way.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - And I had to learn the hard way.
    • -->
    • 00:14:57.190 --> 00:14:59.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:57.190 --> 00:14:59.220
    • -->
    • There have been times when I was in tears
    • " data-timeend="">
    • There have been times when I was in tears
    • -->
    • 00:14:59.220 --> 00:15:02.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:14:59.220 --> 00:15:02.040
    • -->
    • because I wanted so bad to help
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because I wanted so bad to help
    • -->
    • 00:15:02.040 --> 00:15:05.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:02.040 --> 00:15:05.240
    • -->
    • but God wasn't actually saying,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but God wasn't actually saying,
    • -->
    • 00:15:05.240 --> 00:15:07.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:05.240 --> 00:15:07.090
    • -->
    • "No, you get out of the way."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "No, you get out of the way."
    • -->
    • 00:15:07.090 --> 00:15:09.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:07.090 --> 00:15:09.010
    • -->
    • Boundaries creates freedom
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Boundaries creates freedom
    • -->
    • 00:15:10.080 --> 00:15:13.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:10.080 --> 00:15:13.050
    • -->
    • because when you don't have boundaries,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because when you don't have boundaries,
    • -->
    • 00:15:13.050 --> 00:15:15.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:13.050 --> 00:15:15.130
    • -->
    • then you're carrying things that you shouldn't carry.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • then you're carrying things that you shouldn't carry.
    • -->
    • 00:15:15.130 --> 00:15:18.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:15.130 --> 00:15:18.220
    • -->
    • You're worrying about things,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You're worrying about things,
    • -->
    • 00:15:18.220 --> 00:15:20.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:18.220 --> 00:15:20.000
    • -->
    • the Bible tells us to be anxious for nothing
    • " data-timeend="">
    • the Bible tells us to be anxious for nothing
    • -->
    • 00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:22.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:22.040
    • -->
    • but in everything, through prayer and supplication
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but in everything, through prayer and supplication
    • -->
    • 00:15:22.040 --> 00:15:24.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:22.040 --> 00:15:24.210
    • -->
    • with thanks given, giving, make your request known
    • " data-timeend="">
    • with thanks given, giving, make your request known
    • -->
    • 00:15:24.210 --> 00:15:27.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:24.210 --> 00:15:27.290
    • -->
    • unto the Lord and the peace of God
    • " data-timeend="">
    • unto the Lord and the peace of God
    • -->
    • 00:15:27.290 --> 00:15:29.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:27.290 --> 00:15:29.280
    • -->
    • that surpasses all understanding will guard
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that surpasses all understanding will guard
    • -->
    • 00:15:31.260 --> 00:15:35.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:31.260 --> 00:15:35.000
    • -->
    • your heart and mind, through Christ Jesus.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • your heart and mind, through Christ Jesus.
    • -->
    • 00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:38.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:38.160
    • -->
    • So you have to listen to all those steps,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So you have to listen to all those steps,
    • -->
    • 00:15:38.160 --> 00:15:41.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:38.160 --> 00:15:41.000
    • -->
    • and what is He saying?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and what is He saying?
    • -->
    • 00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:42.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:42.090
    • -->
    • You have to trust me.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You have to trust me.
    • -->
    • 00:15:42.090 --> 00:15:43.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:42.090 --> 00:15:43.230
    • -->
    • Actually the word of God gives us all the boundaries
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Actually the word of God gives us all the boundaries
    • -->
    • 00:15:45.150 --> 00:15:48.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:45.150 --> 00:15:48.280
    • -->
    • that we really need, but we have to really trust Him
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that we really need, but we have to really trust Him
    • -->
    • 00:15:48.280 --> 00:15:52.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:48.280 --> 00:15:52.240
    • -->
    • with our loved ones and those that we care for.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • with our loved ones and those that we care for.
    • -->
    • 00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:55.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:55.200
    • -->
    • Because when we do that, we experience a freedom
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Because when we do that, we experience a freedom
    • -->
    • 00:15:55.200 --> 00:15:59.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:55.200 --> 00:15:59.100
    • -->
    • like we've never had before.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • like we've never had before.
    • -->
    • 00:15:59.100 --> 00:16:01.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:15:59.100 --> 00:16:01.250
    • -->
    • - Okay, when you're with your family,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Okay, when you're with your family,
    • -->
    • 00:16:01.250 --> 00:16:03.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:01.250 --> 00:16:03.050
    • -->
    • what is something that you love to do?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • what is something that you love to do?
    • -->
    • 00:16:03.050 --> 00:16:05.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:03.050 --> 00:16:05.070
    • -->
    • - I really love an evening walk.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I really love an evening walk.
    • -->
    • 00:16:05.070 --> 00:16:07.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:05.070 --> 00:16:07.210
    • -->
    • We call it a passeggiata in Italian.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We call it a passeggiata in Italian.
    • -->
    • 00:16:07.210 --> 00:16:10.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:07.210 --> 00:16:10.030
    • -->
    • And so, I love to cook so I usually cook dinner at night
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And so, I love to cook so I usually cook dinner at night
    • -->
    • 00:16:10.030 --> 00:16:13.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:10.030 --> 00:16:13.130
    • -->
    • and then I love to load up the kids
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and then I love to load up the kids
    • -->
    • 00:16:13.130 --> 00:16:15.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:13.130 --> 00:16:15.070
    • -->
    • and everyone's on their scooters or bikes
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and everyone's on their scooters or bikes
    • -->
    • 00:16:15.070 --> 00:16:17.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:15.070 --> 00:16:17.110
    • -->
    • and we take the dog and I just love the talk.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and we take the dog and I just love the talk.
    • -->
    • 00:16:17.110 --> 00:16:20.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:17.110 --> 00:16:20.060
    • -->
    • I love the conversation, I love the handholding,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I love the conversation, I love the handholding,
    • -->
    • 00:16:20.060 --> 00:16:22.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:20.060 --> 00:16:22.270
    • -->
    • I love just walking around the neighborhood
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I love just walking around the neighborhood
    • -->
    • 00:16:22.270 --> 00:16:25.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:22.270 --> 00:16:25.060
    • -->
    • and just the close of the day.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and just the close of the day.
    • -->
    • 00:16:25.060 --> 00:16:26.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:25.060 --> 00:16:26.250
    • -->
    • That's really my favorite. - I love it.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • That's really my favorite. - I love it.
    • -->
    • 00:16:26.250 --> 00:16:28.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:26.250 --> 00:16:28.260
    • -->
    • We want you to join the conversation.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We want you to join the conversation.
    • -->
    • 00:16:28.260 --> 00:16:31.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:28.260 --> 00:16:31.130
    • -->
    • - [CeCe] Connect with us on social media
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - [CeCe] Connect with us on social media
    • -->
    • 00:16:31.130 --> 00:16:33.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:31.130 --> 00:16:33.100
    • -->
    • and let's get better together. - Better together.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and let's get better together. - Better together.
    • -->
    • 00:16:33.100 --> 00:16:37.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:33.100 --> 00:16:37.050
    • -->
    • - [Laurie] The rules, house rules and stuff,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - [Laurie] The rules, house rules and stuff,
    • -->
    • 00:16:41.080 --> 00:16:43.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:41.080 --> 00:16:43.110
    • -->
    • did you have house rules?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • did you have house rules?
    • -->
    • 00:16:43.110 --> 00:16:45.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:43.110 --> 00:16:45.090
    • -->
    • - For my boys?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - For my boys?
    • -->
    • 00:16:45.090 --> 00:16:46.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:45.090 --> 00:16:46.120
    • -->
    • Absolutely. - Like what?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Absolutely. - Like what?
    • -->
    • 00:16:46.120 --> 00:16:48.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:46.120 --> 00:16:48.060
    • -->
    • - Well I mean, first of all we had lots of testosterone
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Well I mean, first of all we had lots of testosterone
    • -->
    • 00:16:48.060 --> 00:16:53.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:48.060 --> 00:16:53.040
    • -->
    • so there was a lot of wrestling
    • " data-timeend="">
    • so there was a lot of wrestling
    • -->
    • 00:16:53.040 --> 00:16:54.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:53.040 --> 00:16:54.190
    • -->
    • so I didn't want 'em to be like every time
    • " data-timeend="">
    • so I didn't want 'em to be like every time
    • -->
    • 00:16:54.190 --> 00:16:56.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:54.190 --> 00:16:56.060
    • -->
    • they bump each other, "He touched me,"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • they bump each other, "He touched me,"
    • -->
    • 00:16:56.060 --> 00:16:57.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:56.060 --> 00:16:57.100
    • -->
    • I didn't wanna do that.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I didn't wanna do that.
    • -->
    • 00:16:57.100 --> 00:16:58.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:57.100 --> 00:16:58.250
    • -->
    • So we had things like, you can't hit a younger brother,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So we had things like, you can't hit a younger brother,
    • -->
    • 00:16:58.250 --> 00:17:02.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:16:58.250 --> 00:17:02.120
    • -->
    • or you can't-- - You can plow an older one.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • or you can't-- - You can plow an older one.
    • -->
    • 00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:04.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:04.080
    • -->
    • (all laughing)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (all laughing)
    • -->
    • 00:17:04.080 --> 00:17:05.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:04.080 --> 00:17:05.220
    • -->
    • - Yeah the younger ones had the right to defend themselves.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Yeah the younger ones had the right to defend themselves.
    • -->
    • 00:17:05.220 --> 00:17:08.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:05.220 --> 00:17:08.180
    • -->
    • (laughing)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (laughing)
    • -->
    • 00:17:08.180 --> 00:17:10.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:08.180 --> 00:17:10.190
    • -->
    • We had conversations
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We had conversations
    • -->
    • 00:17:10.190 --> 00:17:11.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:10.190 --> 00:17:11.270
    • -->
    • because I personally react very violently
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because I personally react very violently
    • -->
    • 00:17:11.270 --> 00:17:15.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:11.270 --> 00:17:15.150
    • -->
    • to black and white rules.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to black and white rules.
    • -->
    • 00:17:15.150 --> 00:17:17.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:15.150 --> 00:17:17.070
    • -->
    • I want the heart of it.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I want the heart of it.
    • -->
    • 00:17:18.110 --> 00:17:19.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:18.110 --> 00:17:19.270
    • -->
    • If you can explain the heart of why we're doing something
    • " data-timeend="">
    • If you can explain the heart of why we're doing something
    • -->
    • 00:17:19.270 --> 00:17:22.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:19.270 --> 00:17:22.280
    • -->
    • then it was good.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • then it was good.
    • -->
    • 00:17:22.280 --> 00:17:24.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:22.280 --> 00:17:24.050
    • -->
    • And I remember, and I've referenced it before,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I remember, and I've referenced it before,
    • -->
    • 00:17:24.050 --> 00:17:26.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:24.050 --> 00:17:26.110
    • -->
    • that I'm just on survival mode.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that I'm just on survival mode.
    • -->
    • 00:17:26.110 --> 00:17:27.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:26.110 --> 00:17:27.280
    • -->
    • I've got a husband traveling all the time.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I've got a husband traveling all the time.
    • -->
    • 00:17:27.280 --> 00:17:30.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:27.280 --> 00:17:30.220
    • -->
    • I'm trying to be on the phone with him,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'm trying to be on the phone with him,
    • -->
    • 00:17:30.220 --> 00:17:32.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:30.220 --> 00:17:32.030
    • -->
    • I'm yelling at all my boys.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'm yelling at all my boys.
    • -->
    • 00:17:32.030 --> 00:17:33.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:32.030 --> 00:17:33.180
    • -->
    • And John just said, "You lie to our children all the time.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And John just said, "You lie to our children all the time.
    • -->
    • 00:17:33.180 --> 00:17:35.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:33.180 --> 00:17:35.070
    • -->
    • "You say you're gonna spank 'em, you don't spank 'em,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "You say you're gonna spank 'em, you don't spank 'em,
    • -->
    • 00:17:35.070 --> 00:17:36.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:35.070 --> 00:17:36.220
    • -->
    • "so either you're gonna have to start spanking our kids
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "so either you're gonna have to start spanking our kids
    • -->
    • 00:17:36.220 --> 00:17:38.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:36.220 --> 00:17:38.260
    • -->
    • "all the time like you're yelling,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "all the time like you're yelling,
    • -->
    • 00:17:38.260 --> 00:17:40.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:38.260 --> 00:17:40.190
    • -->
    • "or you need to get yourself together."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "or you need to get yourself together."
    • -->
    • 00:17:40.190 --> 00:17:43.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:40.190 --> 00:17:43.090
    • -->
    • So I had the most crazy thing happen.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So I had the most crazy thing happen.
    • -->
    • 00:17:43.090 --> 00:17:45.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:43.090 --> 00:17:45.130
    • -->
    • And it's gonna not be a pretty picture
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And it's gonna not be a pretty picture
    • -->
    • 00:17:45.130 --> 00:17:47.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:45.130 --> 00:17:47.070
    • -->
    • to see a white woman doing this.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to see a white woman doing this.
    • -->
    • 00:17:47.070 --> 00:17:48.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:47.070 --> 00:17:48.250
    • -->
    • I heard Andraé Crouch singing, "Give It All Back to Me,"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I heard Andraé Crouch singing, "Give It All Back to Me,"
    • -->
    • 00:17:50.070 --> 00:17:52.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:50.070 --> 00:17:52.250
    • -->
    • do you remember that song? - Yes.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • do you remember that song? - Yes.
    • -->
    • 00:17:52.250 --> 00:17:54.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:52.250 --> 00:17:54.160
    • -->
    • - It was on TBN and I'm like getting ready to bed,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - It was on TBN and I'm like getting ready to bed,
    • -->
    • 00:17:55.290 --> 00:17:58.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:55.290 --> 00:17:58.250
    • -->
    • and I start hearing this, "What I've done for you,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and I start hearing this, "What I've done for you,
    • -->
    • 00:17:58.250 --> 00:18:01.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:17:58.250 --> 00:18:01.080
    • -->
    • "what I've done through you, give it all back to me."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "what I've done through you, give it all back to me."
    • -->
    • 00:18:01.080 --> 00:18:03.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:01.080 --> 00:18:03.100
    • -->
    • That's what the Lord said and God was like,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • That's what the Lord said and God was like,
    • -->
    • 00:18:03.100 --> 00:18:05.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:03.100 --> 00:18:05.100
    • -->
    • "Do you hear that?
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Do you hear that?
    • -->
    • 00:18:05.100 --> 00:18:06.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:05.100 --> 00:18:06.150
    • -->
    • "You parent in your own strength."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "You parent in your own strength."
    • -->
    • 00:18:06.150 --> 00:18:08.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:06.150 --> 00:18:08.190
    • -->
    • He said, "You are doing all of this in your own strength.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • He said, "You are doing all of this in your own strength.
    • -->
    • 00:18:08.190 --> 00:18:11.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:08.190 --> 00:18:11.240
    • -->
    • "Give it all back to me." - Wow.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Give it all back to me." - Wow.
    • -->
    • 00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:15.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:15.010
    • -->
    • - I felt the presence of God, I started crying
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I felt the presence of God, I started crying
    • -->
    • 00:18:15.010 --> 00:18:17.180
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:15.010 --> 00:18:17.180
    • -->
    • and I was like, "God, you're right."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and I was like, "God, you're right."
    • -->
    • 00:18:17.180 --> 00:18:19.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:17.180 --> 00:18:19.000
    • -->
    • He said, "I have certain things I've said
    • " data-timeend="">
    • He said, "I have certain things I've said
    • -->
    • 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:21.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:21.060
    • -->
    • "to do with children, I have certain things
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "to do with children, I have certain things
    • -->
    • 00:18:21.060 --> 00:18:24.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:21.060 --> 00:18:24.060
    • -->
    • "that I've put as parameters."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "that I've put as parameters."
    • -->
    • 00:18:24.060 --> 00:18:26.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:24.060 --> 00:18:26.150
    • -->
    • But I had to learn early on that as their mother,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • But I had to learn early on that as their mother,
    • -->
    • 00:18:26.150 --> 00:18:29.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:26.150 --> 00:18:29.230
    • -->
    • I had to stay in my authority.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I had to stay in my authority.
    • -->
    • 00:18:29.230 --> 00:18:31.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:29.230 --> 00:18:31.110
    • -->
    • I had to be consistent with discipline,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I had to be consistent with discipline,
    • -->
    • 00:18:31.110 --> 00:18:33.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:31.110 --> 00:18:33.160
    • -->
    • I had to be consistent with what was expected
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I had to be consistent with what was expected
    • -->
    • 00:18:33.160 --> 00:18:36.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:33.160 --> 00:18:36.170
    • -->
    • because those boys were gonna get a lot bigger than me
    • " data-timeend="">
    • because those boys were gonna get a lot bigger than me
    • -->
    • 00:18:36.170 --> 00:18:38.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:36.170 --> 00:18:38.270
    • -->
    • and my husband traveled all the time
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and my husband traveled all the time
    • -->
    • 00:18:38.270 --> 00:18:40.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:38.270 --> 00:18:40.130
    • -->
    • so there had to be a habit of obedience
    • " data-timeend="">
    • so there had to be a habit of obedience
    • -->
    • 00:18:40.130 --> 00:18:43.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:40.130 --> 00:18:43.030
    • -->
    • when they were two that would translate
    • " data-timeend="">
    • when they were two that would translate
    • -->
    • 00:18:43.030 --> 00:18:45.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:43.030 --> 00:18:45.030
    • -->
    • until they were teens.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • until they were teens.
    • -->
    • 00:18:45.030 --> 00:18:46.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:45.030 --> 00:18:46.130
    • -->
    • So I sat down my boys the next day and I said,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So I sat down my boys the next day and I said,
    • -->
    • 00:18:46.130 --> 00:18:48.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:46.130 --> 00:18:48.040
    • -->
    • "You know how mom's been yelling?"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "You know how mom's been yelling?"
    • -->
    • 00:18:48.040 --> 00:18:50.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:48.040 --> 00:18:50.160
    • -->
    • They're like, "Yes." (all laughing)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • They're like, "Yes." (all laughing)
    • -->
    • 00:18:50.160 --> 00:18:51.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:50.160 --> 00:18:51.260
    • -->
    • I'm like, "You know how while I'm nursing Alec
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'm like, "You know how while I'm nursing Alec
    • -->
    • 00:18:51.260 --> 00:18:53.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:51.260 --> 00:18:53.170
    • -->
    • "I'll be like slapping everybody?"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "I'll be like slapping everybody?"
    • -->
    • 00:18:53.170 --> 00:18:54.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:53.170 --> 00:18:54.220
    • -->
    • They're like, "Yep." (all laughing)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • They're like, "Yep." (all laughing)
    • -->
    • 00:18:54.220 --> 00:18:56.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:54.220 --> 00:18:56.280
    • -->
    • "I'm not doing that anymore."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "I'm not doing that anymore."
    • -->
    • 00:18:56.280 --> 00:18:58.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:56.280 --> 00:18:58.220
    • -->
    • And they were like, "Good."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And they were like, "Good."
    • -->
    • 00:18:58.220 --> 00:19:00.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:18:58.220 --> 00:19:00.030
    • -->
    • And I said, "I'm gonna say it one time."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I said, "I'm gonna say it one time."
    • -->
    • 00:19:00.030 --> 00:19:02.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:00.030 --> 00:19:02.010
    • -->
    • And of course in my head, I was like,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And of course in my head, I was like,
    • -->
    • 00:19:03.290 --> 00:19:05.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:03.290 --> 00:19:05.030
    • -->
    • "They're never gonna do this,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "They're never gonna do this,
    • -->
    • 00:19:05.030 --> 00:19:07.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:05.030 --> 00:19:07.060
    • -->
    • "there's gonna be anarchy."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "there's gonna be anarchy."
    • -->
    • 00:19:07.060 --> 00:19:08.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:07.060 --> 00:19:08.200
    • -->
    • I told them, I said, "Obedience,"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I told them, I said, "Obedience,"
    • -->
    • 00:19:09.280 --> 00:19:11.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:09.280 --> 00:19:11.070
    • -->
    • and Havilah and I have this saying,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and Havilah and I have this saying,
    • -->
    • 00:19:11.070 --> 00:19:12.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:11.070 --> 00:19:12.140
    • -->
    • hers is a little nicer than mine.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • hers is a little nicer than mine.
    • -->
    • 00:19:12.140 --> 00:19:13.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:12.140 --> 00:19:13.290
    • -->
    • I said, "Obedience is right away, all the way, happy way."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I said, "Obedience is right away, all the way, happy way."
    • -->
    • 00:19:13.290 --> 00:19:16.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:13.290 --> 00:19:16.160
    • -->
    • And I said, "When I say something,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I said, "When I say something,
    • -->
    • 00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:19.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:19.000
    • -->
    • "I'm not gonna count anymore.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "I'm not gonna count anymore.
    • -->
    • 00:19:19.000 --> 00:19:20.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:19.000 --> 00:19:20.060
    • -->
    • "Because that's actually training you
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Because that's actually training you
    • -->
    • 00:19:20.060 --> 00:19:21.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:20.060 --> 00:19:21.290
    • -->
    • "for delayed obedience." - That's right.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "for delayed obedience." - That's right.
    • -->
    • 00:19:21.290 --> 00:19:23.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:21.290 --> 00:19:23.130
    • -->
    • - "And there's times your life could be on risk.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - "And there's times your life could be on risk.
    • -->
    • 00:19:23.130 --> 00:19:25.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:23.130 --> 00:19:25.100
    • -->
    • "If you do not listen to me right away,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "If you do not listen to me right away,
    • -->
    • 00:19:25.100 --> 00:19:26.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:25.100 --> 00:19:26.230
    • -->
    • "a car could hit you."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "a car could hit you."
    • -->
    • 00:19:26.230 --> 00:19:28.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:26.230 --> 00:19:28.080
    • -->
    • So I said, "Right away," and so I modeled it for them.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So I said, "Right away," and so I modeled it for them.
    • -->
    • 00:19:28.080 --> 00:19:30.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:28.080 --> 00:19:30.190
    • -->
    • And I was like, "So if we're watching, 'Vegetales,'
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I was like, "So if we're watching, 'Vegetales,'
    • -->
    • 00:19:30.190 --> 00:19:32.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:30.190 --> 00:19:32.150
    • -->
    • "and I say, 'Clean up the room,' and I go downstairs
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "and I say, 'Clean up the room,' and I go downstairs
    • -->
    • 00:19:32.150 --> 00:19:35.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:32.150 --> 00:19:35.210
    • -->
    • "and in your mind you're thinking, 'I just wanna watch
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "and in your mind you're thinking, 'I just wanna watch
    • -->
    • 00:19:35.210 --> 00:19:37.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:35.210 --> 00:19:37.130
    • -->
    • "'one more silly song,' and I come up
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "'one more silly song,' and I come up
    • -->
    • 00:19:37.130 --> 00:19:38.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:37.130 --> 00:19:38.210
    • -->
    • "and this house is a mess still,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "and this house is a mess still,
    • -->
    • 00:19:38.210 --> 00:19:40.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:38.210 --> 00:19:40.170
    • -->
    • "I'm gonna think, 'Disobedience.'
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "I'm gonna think, 'Disobedience.'
    • -->
    • 00:19:40.170 --> 00:19:42.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:40.170 --> 00:19:42.080
    • -->
    • "I'm not gonna think, 'Oh, they just want.'"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "I'm not gonna think, 'Oh, they just want.'"
    • -->
    • 00:19:42.080 --> 00:19:44.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:42.080 --> 00:19:44.000
    • -->
    • I said, "So you need to tell me, 'Can I watch this?'"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I said, "So you need to tell me, 'Can I watch this?'"
    • -->
    • 00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:46.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:46.110
    • -->
    • Or, "I'm gonna watch one thing and then I'm gonna do it."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Or, "I'm gonna watch one thing and then I'm gonna do it."
    • -->
    • 00:19:46.110 --> 00:19:49.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:46.110 --> 00:19:49.080
    • -->
    • And then a happy way was about the attitude.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And then a happy way was about the attitude.
    • -->
    • 00:19:49.080 --> 00:19:52.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:49.080 --> 00:19:52.250
    • -->
    • That God doesn't look at the outward,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • That God doesn't look at the outward,
    • -->
    • 00:19:52.250 --> 00:19:54.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:52.250 --> 00:19:54.210
    • -->
    • He looks at the heart.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • He looks at the heart.
    • -->
    • 00:19:54.210 --> 00:19:56.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:54.210 --> 00:19:56.060
    • -->
    • I'm ultimately responsible for my children's heart.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I'm ultimately responsible for my children's heart.
    • -->
    • 00:19:56.060 --> 00:19:58.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:56.060 --> 00:19:58.260
    • -->
    • Like how their positioning of their heart.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Like how their positioning of their heart.
    • -->
    • 00:19:58.260 --> 00:20:01.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:19:58.260 --> 00:20:01.000
    • -->
    • So right away, all the way, means to completion.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So right away, all the way, means to completion.
    • -->
    • 00:20:01.000 --> 00:20:04.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:01.000 --> 00:20:04.100
    • -->
    • If I put your laundry in your room,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • If I put your laundry in your room,
    • -->
    • 00:20:04.100 --> 00:20:05.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:04.100 --> 00:20:05.220
    • -->
    • you don't put the clean clothes
    • " data-timeend="">
    • you don't put the clean clothes
    • -->
    • 00:20:05.220 --> 00:20:07.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:05.220 --> 00:20:07.000
    • -->
    • in the dirty clothes hamper and bury it.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • in the dirty clothes hamper and bury it.
    • -->
    • 00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:09.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:09.080
    • -->
    • I was the crazy woman throwing all the clothes
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I was the crazy woman throwing all the clothes
    • -->
    • 00:20:09.080 --> 00:20:11.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:09.080 --> 00:20:11.200
    • -->
    • out in the center of the room, and then I've realized,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • out in the center of the room, and then I've realized,
    • -->
    • 00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:14.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:14.070
    • -->
    • they don't want me to do their laundry.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • they don't want me to do their laundry.
    • -->
    • 00:20:14.070 --> 00:20:16.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:14.070 --> 00:20:16.200
    • -->
    • They wanna do their own laundry.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • They wanna do their own laundry.
    • -->
    • 00:20:16.200 --> 00:20:18.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:16.200 --> 00:20:18.120
    • -->
    • And the truth is most moms are their children's servants.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And the truth is most moms are their children's servants.
    • -->
    • 00:20:18.120 --> 00:20:23.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:18.120 --> 00:20:23.020
    • -->
    • And I'm not saying you can't serve,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And I'm not saying you can't serve,
    • -->
    • 00:20:23.020 --> 00:20:24.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:23.020 --> 00:20:24.220
    • -->
    • but I'm supposed to train my kids.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • but I'm supposed to train my kids.
    • -->
    • 00:20:24.220 --> 00:20:27.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:24.220 --> 00:20:27.280
    • -->
    • - That's right. - And love my husband.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - That's right. - And love my husband.
    • -->
    • 00:20:27.280 --> 00:20:29.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:27.280 --> 00:20:29.130
    • -->
    • And most women are trying to train their husbands
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And most women are trying to train their husbands
    • -->
    • 00:20:29.130 --> 00:20:32.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:29.130 --> 00:20:32.100
    • -->
    • and loving their kids.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and loving their kids.
    • -->
    • 00:20:32.100 --> 00:20:33.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:32.100 --> 00:20:33.130
    • -->
    • - We better leave on that note.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - We better leave on that note.
    • -->
    • 00:20:34.250 --> 00:20:35.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:34.250 --> 00:20:35.290
    • -->
    • (all laughing)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • (all laughing)
    • -->
    • 00:20:35.290 --> 00:20:36.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:35.290 --> 00:20:36.280
    • -->
    • - When that gets off balance,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - When that gets off balance,
    • -->
    • 00:20:36.280 --> 00:20:38.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:36.280 --> 00:20:38.080
    • -->
    • the whole family gets off balance.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • the whole family gets off balance.
    • -->
    • 00:20:38.080 --> 00:20:40.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:38.080 --> 00:20:40.050
    • -->
    • - Jeez. - Yeah.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Jeez. - Yeah.
    • -->
    • 00:20:40.050 --> 00:20:41.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:40.050 --> 00:20:41.080
    • -->
    • - So true. - Wow.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - So true. - Wow.
    • -->
    • 00:20:41.080 --> 00:20:43.070
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:41.080 --> 00:20:43.070
    • -->
    • - I was way busy training John, not my kids.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I was way busy training John, not my kids.
    • -->
    • 00:20:43.070 --> 00:20:46.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:43.070 --> 00:20:46.130
    • -->
    • So I had to shift that. - Very good.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So I had to shift that. - Very good.
    • -->
    • 00:20:46.130 --> 00:20:48.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:46.130 --> 00:20:48.200
    • -->
    • - Ooh, that's really good.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Ooh, that's really good.
    • -->
    • 00:20:48.200 --> 00:20:50.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:48.200 --> 00:20:50.220
    • -->
    • Lord help us, I'll repent. (all laughing)
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Lord help us, I'll repent. (all laughing)
    • -->
    • 00:20:50.220 --> 00:20:53.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:50.220 --> 00:20:53.080
    • -->
    • - So today I wanna encourage those of you
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - So today I wanna encourage those of you
    • -->
    • 00:20:53.080 --> 00:20:54.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:53.080 --> 00:20:54.290
    • -->
    • that are in a relationship
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that are in a relationship
    • -->
    • 00:20:54.290 --> 00:20:56.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:54.290 --> 00:20:56.080
    • -->
    • or you have someone around you
    • " data-timeend="">
    • or you have someone around you
    • -->
    • 00:20:56.080 --> 00:20:58.000
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:56.080 --> 00:20:58.000
    • -->
    • where you know it's not healthy,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • where you know it's not healthy,
    • -->
    • 00:20:58.000 --> 00:20:59.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:58.000 --> 00:20:59.140
    • -->
    • you know you need to make a change,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • you know you need to make a change,
    • -->
    • 00:20:59.140 --> 00:21:00.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:20:59.140 --> 00:21:00.290
    • -->
    • you know that you're either co-dependent
    • " data-timeend="">
    • you know that you're either co-dependent
    • -->
    • 00:21:00.290 --> 00:21:02.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:00.290 --> 00:21:02.150
    • -->
    • or they're dependent and you know
    • " data-timeend="">
    • or they're dependent and you know
    • -->
    • 00:21:02.150 --> 00:21:04.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:02.150 --> 00:21:04.130
    • -->
    • that it's not giving you life
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that it's not giving you life
    • -->
    • 00:21:04.130 --> 00:21:06.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:04.130 --> 00:21:06.010
    • -->
    • and you're not able to be the person you're called to be,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and you're not able to be the person you're called to be,
    • -->
    • 00:21:06.010 --> 00:21:08.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:06.010 --> 00:21:08.030
    • -->
    • so I wanna pray for you
    • " data-timeend="">
    • so I wanna pray for you
    • -->
    • 00:21:08.030 --> 00:21:09.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:08.030 --> 00:21:09.150
    • -->
    • that wherever you are, God would just come in,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that wherever you are, God would just come in,
    • -->
    • 00:21:09.150 --> 00:21:12.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:09.150 --> 00:21:12.020
    • -->
    • break through and give you the peace and the clarity
    • " data-timeend="">
    • break through and give you the peace and the clarity
    • -->
    • 00:21:12.020 --> 00:21:15.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:12.020 --> 00:21:15.250
    • -->
    • to know what to do.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to know what to do.
    • -->
    • 00:21:15.250 --> 00:21:17.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:15.250 --> 00:21:17.010
    • -->
    • So Lord I thank you for each of these women
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So Lord I thank you for each of these women
    • -->
    • 00:21:17.010 --> 00:21:19.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:17.010 --> 00:21:19.150
    • -->
    • that are watching today.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that are watching today.
    • -->
    • 00:21:19.150 --> 00:21:20.220
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:19.150 --> 00:21:20.220
    • -->
    • I thank you that your hand is upon their life.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I thank you that your hand is upon their life.
    • -->
    • 00:21:20.220 --> 00:21:22.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:20.220 --> 00:21:22.160
    • -->
    • That it's not an accident that they are watching today
    • " data-timeend="">
    • That it's not an accident that they are watching today
    • -->
    • 00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:25.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:25.100
    • -->
    • and watching this show, and I ask right now
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and watching this show, and I ask right now
    • -->
    • 00:21:25.100 --> 00:21:27.280
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:25.100 --> 00:21:27.280
    • -->
    • that you would come in to their environment
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that you would come in to their environment
    • -->
    • 00:21:27.280 --> 00:21:30.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:27.280 --> 00:21:30.040
    • -->
    • and you would deposit courage,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and you would deposit courage,
    • -->
    • 00:21:30.040 --> 00:21:32.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:30.040 --> 00:21:32.130
    • -->
    • you would deposit clarity, that whatever they need to do,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • you would deposit clarity, that whatever they need to do,
    • -->
    • 00:21:32.130 --> 00:21:35.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:32.130 --> 00:21:35.120
    • -->
    • whether it's a hard decision or something
    • " data-timeend="">
    • whether it's a hard decision or something
    • -->
    • 00:21:35.120 --> 00:21:37.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:35.120 --> 00:21:37.050
    • -->
    • that they don't know how to do,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that they don't know how to do,
    • -->
    • 00:21:37.050 --> 00:21:38.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:37.050 --> 00:21:38.160
    • -->
    • I ask that you would come beside them.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I ask that you would come beside them.
    • -->
    • 00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:40.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:40.090
    • -->
    • They would feel your spirit come beside them
    • " data-timeend="">
    • They would feel your spirit come beside them
    • -->
    • 00:21:40.090 --> 00:21:42.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:40.090 --> 00:21:42.210
    • -->
    • to counsel them and to lead them,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to counsel them and to lead them,
    • -->
    • 00:21:42.210 --> 00:21:45.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:42.210 --> 00:21:45.030
    • -->
    • even if they're in the valley of the shadow of death.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • even if they're in the valley of the shadow of death.
    • -->
    • 00:21:45.030 --> 00:21:46.290
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:45.030 --> 00:21:46.290
    • -->
    • Even if they feel like they don't know
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Even if they feel like they don't know
    • -->
    • 00:21:46.290 --> 00:21:48.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:46.290 --> 00:21:48.080
    • -->
    • where to go from here.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • where to go from here.
    • -->
    • 00:21:48.080 --> 00:21:49.150
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:48.080 --> 00:21:49.150
    • -->
    • You'd begin to show them a way out.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You'd begin to show them a way out.
    • -->
    • 00:21:49.150 --> 00:21:52.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:49.150 --> 00:21:52.010
    • -->
    • That nothing is impossible and nothing is hopeless.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • That nothing is impossible and nothing is hopeless.
    • -->
    • 00:21:52.010 --> 00:21:55.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:52.010 --> 00:21:55.030
    • -->
    • Wherever they are today, give them courage for change
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Wherever they are today, give them courage for change
    • -->
    • 00:21:55.030 --> 00:21:58.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:55.030 --> 00:21:58.090
    • -->
    • in Jesus' mighty name.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • in Jesus' mighty name.
    • -->
    • 00:21:58.090 --> 00:21:59.250
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:58.090 --> 00:21:59.250
    • -->
    • Amen.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Amen.
    • -->
    • 00:21:59.250 --> 00:22:01.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:21:59.250 --> 00:22:01.110
    • -->
    • - [Laurie] We want to stand with you in prayer.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - [Laurie] We want to stand with you in prayer.
    • -->
    • 00:22:01.110 --> 00:22:02.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:01.110 --> 00:22:02.190
    • -->
    • You can call the number on your screen
    • " data-timeend="">
    • You can call the number on your screen
    • -->
    • 00:22:02.190 --> 00:22:04.060
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:02.190 --> 00:22:04.060
    • -->
    • to talk to a prayer partner.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to talk to a prayer partner.
    • -->
    • 00:22:04.060 --> 00:22:05.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:04.060 --> 00:22:05.210
    • -->
    • We're here for you 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We're here for you 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
    • -->
    • 00:22:05.210 --> 00:22:09.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:05.210 --> 00:22:09.020
    • -->
    • We love you, but most importantly, God loves you.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • We love you, but most importantly, God loves you.
    • -->
    • 00:22:09.020 --> 00:22:11.160
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:09.020 --> 00:22:11.160
    • -->
    • - I am telling you, I have had the best day ever.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I am telling you, I have had the best day ever.
    • -->
    • 00:22:12.280 --> 00:22:15.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:12.280 --> 00:22:15.240
    • -->
    • I have met new friends that I love so much,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I have met new friends that I love so much,
    • -->
    • 00:22:15.240 --> 00:22:18.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:15.240 --> 00:22:18.050
    • -->
    • I've learned a lot, I've grown a lot,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I've learned a lot, I've grown a lot,
    • -->
    • 00:22:18.050 --> 00:22:19.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:18.050 --> 00:22:19.230
    • -->
    • it is absolutely amazing and I am so excited
    • " data-timeend="">
    • it is absolutely amazing and I am so excited
    • -->
    • 00:22:19.230 --> 00:22:22.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:19.230 --> 00:22:22.100
    • -->
    • to be able to sit in my living room
    • " data-timeend="">
    • to be able to sit in my living room
    • -->
    • 00:22:22.100 --> 00:22:23.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:22.100 --> 00:22:23.190
    • -->
    • and watch, "Better Together."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and watch, "Better Together."
    • -->
    • 00:22:23.190 --> 00:22:25.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:23.190 --> 00:22:25.120
    • -->
    • Okay, so Britney asked, "How do you love that relative
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Okay, so Britney asked, "How do you love that relative
    • -->
    • 00:22:27.220 --> 00:22:31.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:27.220 --> 00:22:31.120
    • -->
    • "who's a drama maker and has a toxic personality?"
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "who's a drama maker and has a toxic personality?"
    • -->
    • 00:22:31.120 --> 00:22:34.230
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:31.120 --> 00:22:34.230
    • -->
    • - Yikes.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Yikes.
    • -->
    • 00:22:35.260 --> 00:22:37.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:35.260 --> 00:22:37.010
    • -->
    • Loving is not ignoring something,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • Loving is not ignoring something,
    • -->
    • 00:22:37.010 --> 00:22:38.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:37.010 --> 00:22:38.200
    • -->
    • and loving is not enabling things,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • and loving is not enabling things,
    • -->
    • 00:22:38.200 --> 00:22:40.190
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:38.200 --> 00:22:40.190
    • -->
    • so I think saying to somebody,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • so I think saying to somebody,
    • -->
    • 00:22:40.190 --> 00:22:42.270
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:40.190 --> 00:22:42.270
    • -->
    • "I love you, but because I love you,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "I love you, but because I love you,
    • -->
    • 00:22:42.270 --> 00:22:45.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:42.270 --> 00:22:45.100
    • -->
    • "I'm not gonna let you take this family
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "I'm not gonna let you take this family
    • -->
    • 00:22:45.100 --> 00:22:47.010
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:45.100 --> 00:22:47.010
    • -->
    • "emotional hostage anymore.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "emotional hostage anymore.
    • -->
    • 00:22:47.010 --> 00:22:48.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:47.010 --> 00:22:48.210
    • -->
    • "We want to include you,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "We want to include you,
    • -->
    • 00:22:48.210 --> 00:22:50.050
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:48.210 --> 00:22:50.050
    • -->
    • "but this is what it looks like to be healthy."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "but this is what it looks like to be healthy."
    • -->
    • 00:22:50.050 --> 00:22:52.140
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:50.050 --> 00:22:52.140
    • -->
    • I love it when people truth tell me.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • I love it when people truth tell me.
    • -->
    • 00:22:52.140 --> 00:22:54.090
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:52.140 --> 00:22:54.090
    • -->
    • - Yeah.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - Yeah.
    • -->
    • 00:22:54.090 --> 00:22:55.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:54.090 --> 00:22:55.170
    • -->
    • - I mean, I love it when somebody is like,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I mean, I love it when somebody is like,
    • -->
    • 00:22:55.170 --> 00:22:57.040
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:55.170 --> 00:22:57.040
    • -->
    • "You know, you're completely being ridiculous right now."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "You know, you're completely being ridiculous right now."
    • -->
    • 00:22:57.040 --> 00:22:58.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:57.040 --> 00:22:58.170
    • -->
    • And usually I kinda of know it, I'm like,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • And usually I kinda of know it, I'm like,
    • -->
    • 00:22:58.170 --> 00:22:59.240
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:58.170 --> 00:22:59.240
    • -->
    • "Yeah, I know."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "Yeah, I know."
    • -->
    • 00:22:59.240 --> 00:23:01.030
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:22:59.240 --> 00:23:01.030
    • -->
    • So if somebody would truth tell me and say,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • So if somebody would truth tell me and say,
    • -->
    • 00:23:01.030 --> 00:23:03.100
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:01.030 --> 00:23:03.100
    • -->
    • "If you wanna be around,
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "If you wanna be around,
    • -->
    • 00:23:03.100 --> 00:23:05.110
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:03.100 --> 00:23:05.110
    • -->
    • "then this is what it looks like to do life together.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "then this is what it looks like to do life together.
    • -->
    • 00:23:05.110 --> 00:23:07.260
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:05.110 --> 00:23:07.260
    • -->
    • "And you don't take everybody hostage
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "And you don't take everybody hostage
    • -->
    • 00:23:07.260 --> 00:23:10.130
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:07.260 --> 00:23:10.130
    • -->
    • "to your emotions and your drama and your toxicity."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • "to your emotions and your drama and your toxicity."
    • -->
    • 00:23:10.130 --> 00:23:13.120
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:10.130 --> 00:23:13.120
    • -->
    • - [CeCe] Here's what's coming up next on, "Better Together."
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - [CeCe] Here's what's coming up next on, "Better Together."
    • -->
    • 00:23:13.120 --> 00:23:16.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:13.120 --> 00:23:16.080
    • -->
    • - I had three unexpected crises
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - I had three unexpected crises
    • -->
    • 00:23:16.080 --> 00:23:18.210
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:16.080 --> 00:23:18.210
    • -->
    • that hit my family and my life.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • that hit my family and my life.
    • -->
    • 00:23:18.210 --> 00:23:20.200
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:18.210 --> 00:23:20.200
    • -->
    • They could have crippled me or they could launch me.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • They could have crippled me or they could launch me.
    • -->
    • 00:23:20.200 --> 00:23:24.020
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:20.200 --> 00:23:24.020
    • -->
    • But the first one, it was the unexpected crisis of divorce.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • But the first one, it was the unexpected crisis of divorce.
    • -->
    • 00:23:25.160 --> 00:23:29.170
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:25.160 --> 00:23:29.170
    • -->
    • - [CeCe] Watch, "Better Together," weekdays on TBN.
    • " data-timeend="">
    • - [CeCe] Watch, "Better Together," weekdays on TBN.
    • -->
    • 00:23:29.170 --> 00:23:32.080
    • " data-timeend="">
    • 00:23:29.170 --> 00:23:32.080
    • -->
    -->