Family Boundaries and Discipline | Better Together | TBN

Family Boundaries and Discipline | Better Together

Watch Family Boundaries and Discipline | Better Together
August 13, 2019
23:34

Need advice on how to establish healthy boundaries with family members and discipline children? We're sharing our "house rules." | TBN Prayer Line: 1-888-731-1000

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Family Boundaries and Discipline | Better Together

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  • - The kids are screaming, your cousin wants to borrow money
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  • and your mother in law just came over without warning.
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  • Again.
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  • It's time to talk some boundaries.
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  • (gentle pop music)
  • 00:00:09.130 --> 00:00:12.100
  • - Boundaries is this really hot word right now
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  • and I think everyone's throwing up
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  • when they don't wanna do something, they're like,
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  • "I have boundaries," or whatever they use it--
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  • - Don't cross my fence.
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  • - It's funny, I didn't learn boundaries until
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  • I had my second son and something wasn't right.
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  • I knew it.
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  • I had my first kid, I was normal.
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  • And the second one I was like, "Something's off."
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  • And I went to the pediatrician
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  • and I was talking to her and she said,
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  • "You know, it sounds like you have post partum depression,"
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  • and I hadn't heard that before.
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  • I didn't even really know what it was.
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  • And I remember just tears streaming down my face
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  • as she said it.
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  • Have you ever have had someone acknowledge something
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  • when you're like, "Something isn't right."
  • 00:01:16.080 --> 00:01:17.230
  • And I remember running to my car
  • 00:01:17.230 --> 00:01:19.240
  • and one of my friend's moms was a counselor,
  • 00:01:19.240 --> 00:01:21.170
  • a Christian counselor in town, and she said,
  • 00:01:21.170 --> 00:01:24.080
  • "You need to call somebody,
  • 00:01:24.080 --> 00:01:25.230
  • "because they're gonna need to walk you through this,"
  • 00:01:25.230 --> 00:01:26.280
  • and so I remember leaving a message on her
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  • voice message when I was sitting in my car.
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  • And I knew if I didn't do it that moment I wouldn't do it
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  • because here I was, a minister,
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  • and ministers don't get help, you know, we are help.
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  • And I knew something's off,
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  • but I don't go to a counselor, that's not really
  • 00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:41.170
  • what we did back in the day and
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  • so I remember leaving a message for her
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  • and she called me back and she said,
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  • "Come in tomorrow."
  • 00:01:46.060 --> 00:01:47.160
  • I thought she was being nice, I didn't know
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  • there was a difference between post partum depression
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  • and post partum psychosis and they really wanna
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  • see you quickly so you don't hurt your child.
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  • So I ran in, yeah.
  • 00:01:55.040 --> 00:01:57.110
  • So I walked in and she asked me some questions
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  • and I'm like, "Okay yeah, this, this, this, this,"
  • 00:01:59.150 --> 00:02:01.170
  • and she said, "Well do you wanna know what I think?"
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  • And I said, "Yeah," and she said,
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  • "Well, out of the 14 different points
  • 00:02:04.050 --> 00:02:06.170
  • "of post partum depression, you have 13 of them."
  • 00:02:06.170 --> 00:02:09.100
  • And I remember just crying and I said,
  • 00:02:09.100 --> 00:02:11.050
  • "Well what do you want me to do?
  • 00:02:11.050 --> 00:02:12.210
  • "'Cause I'm a leader, leaders go what do you want me to do,
  • 00:02:12.210 --> 00:02:14.100
  • "what do you want me to pray?"
  • 00:02:14.100 --> 00:02:15.190
  • And she said, "I want you to go home
  • 00:02:15.190 --> 00:02:16.250
  • "and get a couple nights sleep and then
  • 00:02:16.250 --> 00:02:18.040
  • "come back and see me," and so I did.
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  • I did that and I started to kind of walk through this
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  • trying to get healthy.
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  • And about six months into my counseling she said,
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  • "Do you wanna know something?"
  • 00:02:26.240 --> 00:02:27.260
  • And I said, "Okay."
  • 00:02:27.260 --> 00:02:29.090
  • And she said, "I wanna be honest with you, are you sure?"
  • 00:02:29.090 --> 00:02:30.290
  • I said, "Okay," and she said,
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  • "You would have been in here later
  • 00:02:35.180 --> 00:02:37.060
  • "but the baby got you here sooner,"
  • 00:02:37.060 --> 00:02:39.000
  • and I wanted to punch her,
  • 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:40.150
  • 'cause I was like, "No, the baby got me in this room,
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  • "it wasn't me."
  • 00:02:42.190 --> 00:02:43.270
  • And she said, "You have no ability to understand
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  • "how to protect your own environment."
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  • You're a church kid and church kids seem to be
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  • in charge of everyone's experience of them,
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  • and make sure everyone's happy with them.
  • 00:02:52.280 --> 00:02:55.000
  • And so she said, "If you'll spend a year and a half with me,
  • 00:02:55.000 --> 00:02:57.030
  • "I'll teach you what Godly boundaries look like,"
  • 00:02:57.030 --> 00:02:59.040
  • and she said, "But you have to be here every Friday,
  • 00:02:59.040 --> 00:03:00.260
  • "you're gonna sit with five women
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  • "that are influential women in the city,
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  • "you're not allowed to know each other's last names
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  • "or what church you go to,
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  • "but I'll sit and I'll teach you how to do this.
  • 00:03:07.160 --> 00:03:09.050
  • - Wow. - And I sat
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  • for a year and a half and I learned
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  • the power of a boundary.
  • 00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:13.210
  • And boundary wasn't just having a,
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  • "I don't wanna do it."
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  • A boundary was protecting what was most important to us.
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  • And what God holds us responsible for.
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  • In my life, boundaries have been critical
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  • to walk me out of depression
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  • but also to keep me safe, to be on the road with my kids,
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  • so boundaries isn't just a word I throw out.
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  • Boundaries keep the good in and the bad out.
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  • And so when we have healthy boundaries,
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  • it allows us to live in our own space
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  • without the fear that we have to manage
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  • more than we can manage.
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  • God holds us responsible for three things,
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  • I didn't know this.
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  • She said, "Our choices, our feelings, our attitudes."
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  • And that's our yard and our yard has
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  • this little fence around us.
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  • And it's not a cement prison, it's a space
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  • that we have that we nurture and monitor.
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  • And some people come around and you know,
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  • you have that crazy mother in law that's like,
  • 00:04:01.150 --> 00:04:03.230
  • "You shouldn't raise your kids like that,"
  • 00:04:03.230 --> 00:04:05.070
  • and she said, "Well her yard is too close to yours,
  • 00:04:05.070 --> 00:04:07.120
  • "So you move her yard a little bit further out
  • 00:04:07.120 --> 00:04:09.090
  • "and you begin to see that this yard is yours
  • 00:04:09.090 --> 00:04:11.150
  • "and if your kids are under 18, they're in your yard
  • 00:04:11.150 --> 00:04:14.020
  • "and so you get to help their choices
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  • "and their attitudes and their feelings."
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  • But things like this, how you choose to respond
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  • says everything about you,
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  • and how I choose to respond says everything about me.
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  • I did not understand that concept.
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  • It was, "If you're mad at me, I'm responsible
  • 00:04:27.130 --> 00:04:29.290
  • "and I will sit and talk to you
  • 00:04:29.290 --> 00:04:31.050
  • "until you're happy with me again."
  • 00:04:31.050 --> 00:04:32.110
  • - Yeah. - I didn't understand that.
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  • So I was exhausted trying to keep everybody okay with me.
  • 00:04:33.270 --> 00:04:37.250
  • So things like that.
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  • - Wow, powerful. - Are really critical.
  • 00:04:39.130 --> 00:04:40.190
  • So I had to start to learn and then realizing
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  • that my experience was my choice.
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  • You know, CeCe you said that before,
  • 00:04:46.100 --> 00:04:47.220
  • the power of choice.
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  • I think as a minister, and then a minister's kid,
  • 00:04:49.090 --> 00:04:52.100
  • I didn't understand the power of choice.
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  • I felt very powerless to what was
  • 00:04:53.230 --> 00:04:56.080
  • the right and wrong in my life.
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  • Rather than what God had called me to be
  • 00:04:58.060 --> 00:05:00.050
  • in the space that I was filling.
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  • And so I realized
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  • the idea that you made me mad, no I'm not that powerful.
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  • I'm not powerful enough to go inside of you
  • 00:05:08.140 --> 00:05:10.080
  • and choose anger, you did that.
  • 00:05:10.080 --> 00:05:12.090
  • And things like that that I had no concept for.
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  • I thought you made people mad,
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  • I thought you made people happy,
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  • I thought I was responsible for that.
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  • And once I started to realize I didn't hold any of that,
  • 00:05:20.120 --> 00:05:23.060
  • that was like a mirage of power.
  • 00:05:23.060 --> 00:05:25.190
  • Once I realized that what was happening internally,
  • 00:05:25.190 --> 00:05:27.220
  • my choices, attitudes and feelings,
  • 00:05:27.220 --> 00:05:29.080
  • were all in my world,
  • 00:05:29.080 --> 00:05:31.100
  • things got manageable.
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  • When we have healthy space and boundaries,
  • 00:05:32.170 --> 00:05:35.150
  • things get manageable.
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  • I can monitor that.
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  • I can do that well.
  • 00:05:37.290 --> 00:05:39.120
  • I can't monitor your choices and your attitudes
  • 00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:41.100
  • and your feelings because I have no power
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  • to go inside of there and make that choice.
  • 00:05:43.040 --> 00:05:45.040
  • So that was critical for me and to this day,
  • 00:05:45.040 --> 00:05:47.150
  • I call it my yard and I'll say, I'll think to myself,
  • 00:05:47.150 --> 00:05:51.040
  • "Is that in my yard or is that not?"
  • 00:05:51.040 --> 00:05:52.190
  • How you think about my right now, it's not in my yard.
  • 00:05:52.190 --> 00:05:55.070
  • I'm now powerful enough.
  • 00:05:55.070 --> 00:05:57.080
  • If that hurt you, then you'll have to be
  • 00:05:57.080 --> 00:05:58.240
  • powerful enough to come tell me.
  • 00:05:58.240 --> 00:06:00.130
  • And those were things that were very distinct
  • 00:06:00.130 --> 00:06:02.170
  • and it's taken me years to learn.
  • 00:06:02.170 --> 00:06:04.000
  • I don't have it perfect, but it helps me know
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  • how to keep life manageable.
  • 00:06:06.200 --> 00:06:08.100
  • - That's awesome. - What's this lady's name?
  • 00:06:08.100 --> 00:06:10.020
  • (all laughing) - She's incredible!
  • 00:06:10.020 --> 00:06:11.220
  • She was a minister's kid and married to a minister
  • 00:06:11.220 --> 00:06:14.120
  • and she saved me life.
  • 00:06:14.120 --> 00:06:16.060
  • I could get emotional because she saved my life.
  • 00:06:16.060 --> 00:06:19.240
  • She was willing to say, "You won't make it."
  • 00:06:19.240 --> 00:06:22.150
  • - Yeah. - Yeah.
  • 00:06:22.150 --> 00:06:23.210
  • - You will not make it in ministry.
  • 00:06:23.210 --> 00:06:24.270
  • And I said she saved my life because
  • 00:06:24.270 --> 00:06:27.090
  • I didn't know that I needed saving
  • 00:06:27.090 --> 00:06:29.010
  • and I think that's kind of how
  • 00:06:29.010 --> 00:06:30.200
  • spiritual transformation happens.
  • 00:06:30.200 --> 00:06:32.070
  • Initially we have pain and God comes,
  • 00:06:32.070 --> 00:06:35.080
  • somebody comes on behalf of God, and we begin to realize,
  • 00:06:35.080 --> 00:06:38.280
  • "Wow, I really am sitting in darkness.
  • 00:06:38.280 --> 00:06:40.280
  • "I need to be lifted out of this into light."
  • 00:06:40.280 --> 00:06:43.050
  • And so as I sat with her, I think about how much life
  • 00:06:43.050 --> 00:06:46.120
  • I was given because what I realized
  • 00:06:46.120 --> 00:06:48.240
  • was that the world causes us to be consumers
  • 00:06:48.240 --> 00:06:52.100
  • and we can end up being bankrupt
  • 00:06:52.100 --> 00:06:53.280
  • emotionally, mentally, financially, physically.
  • 00:06:53.280 --> 00:06:58.110
  • There's such a consumer mentality
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  • and we need to get all these needs met
  • 00:07:00.070 --> 00:07:01.260
  • and so when we have healthy boundaries
  • 00:07:01.260 --> 00:07:04.030
  • it's allowing ourselves to hear the word, "No,"
  • 00:07:04.030 --> 00:07:07.010
  • or, "Not yet," or, "It's not time yet."
  • 00:07:07.010 --> 00:07:10.120
  • And all of those things allow us to relax
  • 00:07:10.120 --> 00:07:13.010
  • and to believe in the timing of God.
  • 00:07:13.010 --> 00:07:14.260
  • I think boundaries keep us safe.
  • 00:07:14.260 --> 00:07:17.060
  • They're not to keep us locked in,
  • 00:07:17.060 --> 00:07:18.210
  • they're to keep the good things in and the bad things out.
  • 00:07:18.210 --> 00:07:21.160
  • - I found it actually when you have that revelation of,
  • 00:07:21.160 --> 00:07:23.240
  • "Okay, this is my yard, this is what I'm..."
  • 00:07:23.240 --> 00:07:27.060
  • Not everybody's happy when you set that--
  • 00:07:27.060 --> 00:07:28.260
  • - No, no, that's right.
  • 00:07:28.260 --> 00:07:30.230
  • - I actually had to do that with my mom in my marriage.
  • 00:07:32.130 --> 00:07:36.050
  • And I remember thinking...
  • 00:07:36.050 --> 00:07:38.140
  • God was like,
  • 00:07:38.140 --> 00:07:39.130
  • I didn't have a counselor but He actually said,
  • 00:07:41.100 --> 00:07:44.060
  • "You are entangled with your mother."
  • 00:07:44.060 --> 00:07:47.020
  • And he said, "You're trying to untie knots
  • 00:07:47.020 --> 00:07:49.090
  • "and I need to take the sword of my spirit
  • 00:07:49.090 --> 00:07:51.000
  • "and I need to sever what is unhealthy."
  • 00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:53.020
  • And He said, "Because you're enabling.
  • 00:07:53.020 --> 00:07:55.020
  • "You're enabling, you feel responsible for her happiness.
  • 00:07:55.020 --> 00:07:57.290
  • "If you're happy, you feel guilty because she's not happy.
  • 00:07:57.290 --> 00:08:01.110
  • "If your kids are good, you feel guilty
  • 00:08:02.210 --> 00:08:04.130
  • "'cause you were a bad kid."
  • 00:08:04.130 --> 00:08:05.270
  • So it was all of this stuff and I remember Havilah,
  • 00:08:05.270 --> 00:08:08.240
  • I kneeled down and I said, and it didn't seem right
  • 00:08:08.240 --> 00:08:12.210
  • 'cause she's a Christian and everything,
  • 00:08:12.210 --> 00:08:14.050
  • and I was like, "God, I don't know how to do this."
  • 00:08:14.050 --> 00:08:16.090
  • And he said, "Let me pass my sword of the word."
  • 00:08:16.090 --> 00:08:19.060
  • And I saw an angel in my mind's eye and it just severed
  • 00:08:19.060 --> 00:08:24.060
  • and he said, "You owe her nothing but to love her."
  • 00:08:25.200 --> 00:08:27.090
  • And so I remember the next time I saw my mom,
  • 00:08:27.090 --> 00:08:31.270
  • she was like, "Something's changed,"
  • 00:08:31.270 --> 00:08:34.090
  • because she didn't have that control thing on me anymore.
  • 00:08:34.090 --> 00:08:36.270
  • - Right, right.
  • 00:08:36.270 --> 00:08:38.110
  • - Because if she came over, John would have a sense
  • 00:08:38.110 --> 00:08:40.100
  • that my mom had been there, I would be shrunk
  • 00:08:40.100 --> 00:08:43.010
  • and felt guilty.
  • 00:08:43.010 --> 00:08:44.290
  • From as long as I can remember,
  • 00:08:44.290 --> 00:08:46.240
  • somehow I felt responsible for my mother's choices,
  • 00:08:46.240 --> 00:08:50.210
  • my mother's happiness and for my mother.
  • 00:08:50.210 --> 00:08:53.170
  • Now there's a difference between honoring your parents
  • 00:08:53.170 --> 00:08:56.210
  • and feeling like you're responsible
  • 00:08:56.210 --> 00:08:58.200
  • for the emotional wellbeing of that person.
  • 00:08:58.200 --> 00:09:01.180
  • And so I was in a deep time of prayer
  • 00:09:01.180 --> 00:09:04.170
  • and God began to deal with me and say,
  • 00:09:04.170 --> 00:09:07.010
  • "You're actually intervening on some stuff
  • 00:09:07.010 --> 00:09:09.260
  • "I wanna do in your mom's life.
  • 00:09:09.260 --> 00:09:11.270
  • "I want to touch her, and you're trying to be her rescuer.
  • 00:09:11.270 --> 00:09:15.070
  • "You're trying to be her savior.
  • 00:09:15.070 --> 00:09:17.050
  • "You need to back up out of the way,
  • 00:09:17.050 --> 00:09:19.110
  • "because it's unhealthy for her and it's unhealthy for you."
  • 00:09:19.110 --> 00:09:22.260
  • A lot of times when you're in a position like me,
  • 00:09:22.260 --> 00:09:25.090
  • I was the child that was the fixer,
  • 00:09:25.090 --> 00:09:26.280
  • I was the child that was the intermediate,
  • 00:09:26.280 --> 00:09:28.210
  • I was the child that was the go between
  • 00:09:28.210 --> 00:09:30.160
  • my mother and my father, my mother and my brother.
  • 00:09:30.160 --> 00:09:32.210
  • And there came to a place where Jesus was like,
  • 00:09:32.210 --> 00:09:34.240
  • "You're not the mediator, I am the mediator,
  • 00:09:34.240 --> 00:09:37.140
  • "and you need to let go of this."
  • 00:09:37.140 --> 00:09:40.090
  • And so when I did that,
  • 00:09:40.090 --> 00:09:41.190
  • it kind of shifted some stuff.
  • 00:09:41.190 --> 00:09:43.290
  • When you take boundaries and take back your space,
  • 00:09:43.290 --> 00:09:47.130
  • sometimes people aren't happy about that
  • 00:09:47.130 --> 00:09:49.270
  • so there's gotta be a strategy.
  • 00:09:49.270 --> 00:09:52.060
  • Like what did she tell you to do so that you could say,
  • 00:09:52.060 --> 00:09:56.120
  • "This is no longer healthy," without insulting somebody
  • 00:09:56.120 --> 00:09:59.150
  • or alienating, what did you do?
  • 00:09:59.150 --> 00:10:00.210
  • - Yes, I mean it's tricky, right?
  • 00:10:00.210 --> 00:10:02.160
  • I think about, she really walked us through Galatians,
  • 00:10:02.160 --> 00:10:05.060
  • where it talks about,
  • 00:10:05.060 --> 00:10:06.130
  • "Everyone's to carry their own burden,"
  • 00:10:06.130 --> 00:10:07.280
  • or, "We're here to help each other's burdens
  • 00:10:07.280 --> 00:10:09.090
  • "but we're to carry our own load,"
  • 00:10:09.090 --> 00:10:10.170
  • and she broke that up in the Greek and she said,
  • 00:10:10.170 --> 00:10:13.040
  • "We're to carry each other's burdens
  • 00:10:13.040 --> 00:10:14.210
  • "means crushing the load.
  • 00:10:14.210 --> 00:10:16.050
  • "It's like someone dies in your family or you lose your job,
  • 00:10:16.050 --> 00:10:19.100
  • "it's unmanageable, you're gonna die in the midst of it
  • 00:10:19.100 --> 00:10:21.170
  • "so we're gonna run and help you."
  • 00:10:21.170 --> 00:10:23.030
  • But she said, "It gets back to load, load is a backpack."
  • 00:10:23.030 --> 00:10:26.220
  • And she said, "Everyone's to carry their own backpack,"
  • 00:10:26.220 --> 00:10:29.130
  • and so she said, "Usually in every relationship,
  • 00:10:29.130 --> 00:10:32.000
  • "there's a responsible and an irresponsible person,"
  • 00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:34.250
  • and she said, "The responsible person always likes
  • 00:10:34.250 --> 00:10:36.210
  • "to carry the backpack and the irresponsible person
  • 00:10:36.210 --> 00:10:38.120
  • "has no problem with you carrying the backpack.
  • 00:10:38.120 --> 00:10:40.230
  • "Pay my cellphone bill even though I'm an adult.
  • 00:10:40.230 --> 00:10:43.100
  • "Absolutely, I need money again."
  • 00:10:43.100 --> 00:10:46.050
  • And she said, "When you start to take care
  • 00:10:46.050 --> 00:10:47.280
  • "of everyone's loads, then when somebody's in trouble
  • 00:10:47.280 --> 00:10:50.060
  • "no one has any resources," or like,
  • 00:10:50.060 --> 00:10:51.220
  • "We already gave to that offering,
  • 00:10:51.220 --> 00:10:53.040
  • "we're been giving to these people
  • 00:10:53.040 --> 00:10:54.110
  • "all these other offerings."
  • 00:10:54.110 --> 00:10:55.200
  • So for me what I find is an irresponsible person
  • 00:10:55.200 --> 00:10:58.160
  • always reacts, so if I don't know what I'm responsible for,
  • 00:10:58.160 --> 00:11:01.270
  • I'll immediately take on that chaos of,
  • 00:11:01.270 --> 00:11:04.120
  • "Oh, you're not happy."
  • 00:11:04.120 --> 00:11:06.090
  • And so oftentimes what I like to do is,
  • 00:11:06.090 --> 00:11:08.140
  • and this is what's really helped me,
  • 00:11:08.140 --> 00:11:09.260
  • is if you have a chaotic person in your world,
  • 00:11:09.260 --> 00:11:12.080
  • they're like a drug addict.
  • 00:11:12.080 --> 00:11:13.190
  • They're somebody who's dependent upon this relationship
  • 00:11:13.190 --> 00:11:16.000
  • so you wean them.
  • 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:17.080
  • You answer every other text message,
  • 00:11:17.080 --> 00:11:19.120
  • you answer every other email, you only see them once a week
  • 00:11:19.120 --> 00:11:22.170
  • and you begin to wean those people.
  • 00:11:22.170 --> 00:11:24.210
  • 'Cause we don't need to operate in meanness,
  • 00:11:24.210 --> 00:11:26.120
  • we just need to be able to pull them back and say,
  • 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:28.290
  • "You're kind of invading my space."
  • 00:11:28.290 --> 00:11:31.120
  • And everyone always says, "What about my family?"
  • 00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:34.000
  • 'Cause family, we just talked about this,
  • 00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:35.120
  • family's like, how do I do this to my mother?
  • 00:11:35.120 --> 00:11:37.100
  • It's very complicated,
  • 00:11:37.100 --> 00:11:38.260
  • you have to know what God calls you to,
  • 00:11:38.260 --> 00:11:40.120
  • but ultimately you have to know what is in my yard?
  • 00:11:40.120 --> 00:11:43.280
  • And once I manage, that helps.
  • 00:11:43.280 --> 00:11:45.220
  • - Boundaries really create freedom.
  • 00:11:45.220 --> 00:11:48.180
  • Creating those boundaries will lift the heavy load
  • 00:11:50.020 --> 00:11:53.100
  • when you begin to carry only those things
  • 00:11:53.100 --> 00:11:55.280
  • that God has equipped you to carry.
  • 00:11:55.280 --> 00:11:59.000
  • - You can watch, "Better Together," episodes on demand.
  • 00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:01.210
  • - Go to bettertogether.tv to stream
  • 00:12:01.210 --> 00:12:04.090
  • all of our latest conversations.
  • 00:12:04.090 --> 00:12:06.010
  • - And I think honestly for me, growing up in dysfunction,
  • 00:12:10.260 --> 00:12:15.190
  • I was always the rescuer and the fighter for my family.
  • 00:12:15.190 --> 00:12:19.020
  • So when I got married, sometimes when we're raised in it,
  • 00:12:19.020 --> 00:12:22.110
  • we don't see it.
  • 00:12:22.110 --> 00:12:23.190
  • And so it took my husband,
  • 00:12:23.190 --> 00:12:26.190
  • who was an outside person who I trusted
  • 00:12:26.190 --> 00:12:29.060
  • with my life and my world,
  • 00:12:29.060 --> 00:12:30.240
  • to be able to speak into that and say,
  • 00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:32.230
  • "Here you go again,"
  • 00:12:32.230 --> 00:12:34.070
  • Like, "You're going to the rescue,"
  • 00:12:34.070 --> 00:12:35.160
  • 'cause I didn't know how to set the boundary.
  • 00:12:35.160 --> 00:12:37.240
  • So I just wanted to rescue 'cause I'm like,
  • 00:12:37.240 --> 00:12:39.060
  • "No that's my... you know." - That's my family.
  • 00:12:39.060 --> 00:12:40.250
  • - Yes, and I wanna make sure they're taken care of
  • 00:12:40.250 --> 00:12:43.000
  • and how do I not send 'em money whenever I'm taken care of.
  • 00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:47.160
  • But he would step in and he would be eyes for me
  • 00:12:47.160 --> 00:12:50.260
  • when my eyes weren't doing too well.
  • 00:12:50.260 --> 00:12:52.260
  • And he would almost correct me gently and with that
  • 00:12:52.260 --> 00:12:57.120
  • it taught me how to set boundaries.
  • 00:12:57.120 --> 00:12:59.150
  • It's hard for me to set boundaries, honestly.
  • 00:12:59.150 --> 00:13:02.040
  • It's something that I'm learning,
  • 00:13:02.040 --> 00:13:03.100
  • once again, I'm like a people pleaser
  • 00:13:03.100 --> 00:13:05.060
  • so I want everyone to be happy
  • 00:13:05.060 --> 00:13:06.130
  • but I think one huge thing for me
  • 00:13:06.130 --> 00:13:08.110
  • has been stepping outside of myself
  • 00:13:08.110 --> 00:13:10.020
  • and really leaning in to Robert's wisdom and his advice,
  • 00:13:10.020 --> 00:13:12.190
  • 'cause if we're divided and we're not on the same page,
  • 00:13:12.190 --> 00:13:15.130
  • then it trickles into every area.
  • 00:13:15.130 --> 00:13:17.150
  • And so usually I just take it to him
  • 00:13:17.150 --> 00:13:19.110
  • and we kinda process it together.
  • 00:13:19.110 --> 00:13:21.090
  • And we get on the same page and then that
  • 00:13:21.090 --> 00:13:23.140
  • makes everything just go a lot more smooth.
  • 00:13:23.140 --> 00:13:25.250
  • - Boundaries really, it brings freedom.
  • 00:13:25.250 --> 00:13:28.130
  • - Yeah, it's so true. - Completely.
  • 00:13:28.130 --> 00:13:31.020
  • (all laughing)
  • 00:13:31.020 --> 00:13:33.220
  • - Freedom.
  • 00:13:33.220 --> 00:13:34.280
  • - And you know, God calls us to be like Him
  • 00:13:34.280 --> 00:13:36.190
  • but he never called us to be God.
  • 00:13:36.190 --> 00:13:38.100
  • - Right. - And I think
  • 00:13:38.100 --> 00:13:39.080
  • when you have that in you,
  • 00:13:39.080 --> 00:13:41.220
  • you're a nurturer and you wanna fix it,
  • 00:13:41.220 --> 00:13:43.150
  • a lot of times we get in the way.
  • 00:13:43.150 --> 00:13:45.000
  • - You're interrupting-- - You're interrupting what
  • 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:46.070
  • God wants to do with other people
  • 00:13:46.070 --> 00:13:48.050
  • and we think we're helping 'em and we're not.
  • 00:13:48.050 --> 00:13:50.190
  • You have great intentions but it's so important
  • 00:13:50.190 --> 00:13:53.270
  • that we don't allow our good intentions to get in the way.
  • 00:13:53.270 --> 00:13:57.110
  • Because a lot of times, instead of helping people,
  • 00:13:57.110 --> 00:14:00.050
  • we enable them.
  • 00:14:00.050 --> 00:14:01.210
  • And it's so important that we understand
  • 00:14:01.210 --> 00:14:04.140
  • that God called us to represent Him
  • 00:14:04.140 --> 00:14:06.280
  • and to be like Him but not to be Him, all right?
  • 00:14:06.280 --> 00:14:10.170
  • And God loves our loved ones, he loves our children,
  • 00:14:10.170 --> 00:14:14.130
  • he loves everybody more than you could ever love them
  • 00:14:14.130 --> 00:14:17.250
  • so we have to learn to trust God with our situations.
  • 00:14:17.250 --> 00:14:22.100
  • We have to learn to trust God with those things
  • 00:14:22.100 --> 00:14:24.170
  • that we cannot carry and we cannot fix,
  • 00:14:24.170 --> 00:14:28.040
  • and once you learn to trust Him,
  • 00:14:28.040 --> 00:14:29.250
  • then He'll be able to step in and to do those things
  • 00:14:29.250 --> 00:14:32.280
  • that only He can do.
  • 00:14:32.280 --> 00:14:34.210
  • - I heard a pastor called it the Love Boat.
  • 00:14:34.210 --> 00:14:36.260
  • We always think we're running the Love Boat
  • 00:14:36.260 --> 00:14:39.010
  • and everybody come on here,
  • 00:14:39.010 --> 00:14:40.280
  • and sometimes we're throwing all of our stuff
  • 00:14:40.280 --> 00:14:42.270
  • off of our boat because you're on it.
  • 00:14:42.270 --> 00:14:45.120
  • - Mm-hmm. - You know?
  • 00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:47.140
  • Or that relative's on it, and they shouldn't be,
  • 00:14:47.140 --> 00:14:50.280
  • they were called to go over here and they're not
  • 00:14:50.280 --> 00:14:53.250
  • and we're chucking all of our stuff,
  • 00:14:53.250 --> 00:14:55.110
  • it's like, "Get off my boat."
  • 00:14:55.110 --> 00:14:57.190
  • - And I had to learn the hard way.
  • 00:14:57.190 --> 00:14:59.220
  • There have been times when I was in tears
  • 00:14:59.220 --> 00:15:02.040
  • because I wanted so bad to help
  • 00:15:02.040 --> 00:15:05.240
  • but God wasn't actually saying,
  • 00:15:05.240 --> 00:15:07.090
  • "No, you get out of the way."
  • 00:15:07.090 --> 00:15:09.010
  • Boundaries creates freedom
  • 00:15:10.080 --> 00:15:13.050
  • because when you don't have boundaries,
  • 00:15:13.050 --> 00:15:15.130
  • then you're carrying things that you shouldn't carry.
  • 00:15:15.130 --> 00:15:18.220
  • You're worrying about things,
  • 00:15:18.220 --> 00:15:20.000
  • the Bible tells us to be anxious for nothing
  • 00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:22.040
  • but in everything, through prayer and supplication
  • 00:15:22.040 --> 00:15:24.210
  • with thanks given, giving, make your request known
  • 00:15:24.210 --> 00:15:27.290
  • unto the Lord and the peace of God
  • 00:15:27.290 --> 00:15:29.280
  • that surpasses all understanding will guard
  • 00:15:31.260 --> 00:15:35.000
  • your heart and mind, through Christ Jesus.
  • 00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:38.160
  • So you have to listen to all those steps,
  • 00:15:38.160 --> 00:15:41.000
  • and what is He saying?
  • 00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:42.090
  • You have to trust me.
  • 00:15:42.090 --> 00:15:43.230
  • Actually the word of God gives us all the boundaries
  • 00:15:45.150 --> 00:15:48.280
  • that we really need, but we have to really trust Him
  • 00:15:48.280 --> 00:15:52.240
  • with our loved ones and those that we care for.
  • 00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:55.200
  • Because when we do that, we experience a freedom
  • 00:15:55.200 --> 00:15:59.100
  • like we've never had before.
  • 00:15:59.100 --> 00:16:01.250
  • - Okay, when you're with your family,
  • 00:16:01.250 --> 00:16:03.050
  • what is something that you love to do?
  • 00:16:03.050 --> 00:16:05.070
  • - I really love an evening walk.
  • 00:16:05.070 --> 00:16:07.210
  • We call it a passeggiata in Italian.
  • 00:16:07.210 --> 00:16:10.030
  • And so, I love to cook so I usually cook dinner at night
  • 00:16:10.030 --> 00:16:13.130
  • and then I love to load up the kids
  • 00:16:13.130 --> 00:16:15.070
  • and everyone's on their scooters or bikes
  • 00:16:15.070 --> 00:16:17.110
  • and we take the dog and I just love the talk.
  • 00:16:17.110 --> 00:16:20.060
  • I love the conversation, I love the handholding,
  • 00:16:20.060 --> 00:16:22.270
  • I love just walking around the neighborhood
  • 00:16:22.270 --> 00:16:25.060
  • and just the close of the day.
  • 00:16:25.060 --> 00:16:26.250
  • That's really my favorite. - I love it.
  • 00:16:26.250 --> 00:16:28.260
  • We want you to join the conversation.
  • 00:16:28.260 --> 00:16:31.130
  • - [CeCe] Connect with us on social media
  • 00:16:31.130 --> 00:16:33.100
  • and let's get better together. - Better together.
  • 00:16:33.100 --> 00:16:37.050
  • - [Laurie] The rules, house rules and stuff,
  • 00:16:41.080 --> 00:16:43.110
  • did you have house rules?
  • 00:16:43.110 --> 00:16:45.090
  • - For my boys?
  • 00:16:45.090 --> 00:16:46.120
  • Absolutely. - Like what?
  • 00:16:46.120 --> 00:16:48.060
  • - Well I mean, first of all we had lots of testosterone
  • 00:16:48.060 --> 00:16:53.040
  • so there was a lot of wrestling
  • 00:16:53.040 --> 00:16:54.190
  • so I didn't want 'em to be like every time
  • 00:16:54.190 --> 00:16:56.060
  • they bump each other, "He touched me,"
  • 00:16:56.060 --> 00:16:57.100
  • I didn't wanna do that.
  • 00:16:57.100 --> 00:16:58.250
  • So we had things like, you can't hit a younger brother,
  • 00:16:58.250 --> 00:17:02.120
  • or you can't-- - You can plow an older one.
  • 00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:04.080
  • (all laughing)
  • 00:17:04.080 --> 00:17:05.220
  • - Yeah the younger ones had the right to defend themselves.
  • 00:17:05.220 --> 00:17:08.180
  • (laughing)
  • 00:17:08.180 --> 00:17:10.190
  • We had conversations
  • 00:17:10.190 --> 00:17:11.270
  • because I personally react very violently
  • 00:17:11.270 --> 00:17:15.150
  • to black and white rules.
  • 00:17:15.150 --> 00:17:17.070
  • I want the heart of it.
  • 00:17:18.110 --> 00:17:19.270
  • If you can explain the heart of why we're doing something
  • 00:17:19.270 --> 00:17:22.280
  • then it was good.
  • 00:17:22.280 --> 00:17:24.050
  • And I remember, and I've referenced it before,
  • 00:17:24.050 --> 00:17:26.110
  • that I'm just on survival mode.
  • 00:17:26.110 --> 00:17:27.280
  • I've got a husband traveling all the time.
  • 00:17:27.280 --> 00:17:30.220
  • I'm trying to be on the phone with him,
  • 00:17:30.220 --> 00:17:32.030
  • I'm yelling at all my boys.
  • 00:17:32.030 --> 00:17:33.180
  • And John just said, "You lie to our children all the time.
  • 00:17:33.180 --> 00:17:35.070
  • "You say you're gonna spank 'em, you don't spank 'em,
  • 00:17:35.070 --> 00:17:36.220
  • "so either you're gonna have to start spanking our kids
  • 00:17:36.220 --> 00:17:38.260
  • "all the time like you're yelling,
  • 00:17:38.260 --> 00:17:40.190
  • "or you need to get yourself together."
  • 00:17:40.190 --> 00:17:43.090
  • So I had the most crazy thing happen.
  • 00:17:43.090 --> 00:17:45.130
  • And it's gonna not be a pretty picture
  • 00:17:45.130 --> 00:17:47.070
  • to see a white woman doing this.
  • 00:17:47.070 --> 00:17:48.250
  • I heard Andraé Crouch singing, "Give It All Back to Me,"
  • 00:17:50.070 --> 00:17:52.250
  • do you remember that song? - Yes.
  • 00:17:52.250 --> 00:17:54.160
  • - It was on TBN and I'm like getting ready to bed,
  • 00:17:55.290 --> 00:17:58.250
  • and I start hearing this, "What I've done for you,
  • 00:17:58.250 --> 00:18:01.080
  • "what I've done through you, give it all back to me."
  • 00:18:01.080 --> 00:18:03.100
  • That's what the Lord said and God was like,
  • 00:18:03.100 --> 00:18:05.100
  • "Do you hear that?
  • 00:18:05.100 --> 00:18:06.150
  • "You parent in your own strength."
  • 00:18:06.150 --> 00:18:08.190
  • He said, "You are doing all of this in your own strength.
  • 00:18:08.190 --> 00:18:11.240
  • "Give it all back to me." - Wow.
  • 00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:15.010
  • - I felt the presence of God, I started crying
  • 00:18:15.010 --> 00:18:17.180
  • and I was like, "God, you're right."
  • 00:18:17.180 --> 00:18:19.000
  • He said, "I have certain things I've said
  • 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:21.060
  • "to do with children, I have certain things
  • 00:18:21.060 --> 00:18:24.060
  • "that I've put as parameters."
  • 00:18:24.060 --> 00:18:26.150
  • But I had to learn early on that as their mother,
  • 00:18:26.150 --> 00:18:29.230
  • I had to stay in my authority.
  • 00:18:29.230 --> 00:18:31.110
  • I had to be consistent with discipline,
  • 00:18:31.110 --> 00:18:33.160
  • I had to be consistent with what was expected
  • 00:18:33.160 --> 00:18:36.170
  • because those boys were gonna get a lot bigger than me
  • 00:18:36.170 --> 00:18:38.270
  • and my husband traveled all the time
  • 00:18:38.270 --> 00:18:40.130
  • so there had to be a habit of obedience
  • 00:18:40.130 --> 00:18:43.030
  • when they were two that would translate
  • 00:18:43.030 --> 00:18:45.030
  • until they were teens.
  • 00:18:45.030 --> 00:18:46.130
  • So I sat down my boys the next day and I said,
  • 00:18:46.130 --> 00:18:48.040
  • "You know how mom's been yelling?"
  • 00:18:48.040 --> 00:18:50.160
  • They're like, "Yes." (all laughing)
  • 00:18:50.160 --> 00:18:51.260
  • I'm like, "You know how while I'm nursing Alec
  • 00:18:51.260 --> 00:18:53.170
  • "I'll be like slapping everybody?"
  • 00:18:53.170 --> 00:18:54.220
  • They're like, "Yep." (all laughing)
  • 00:18:54.220 --> 00:18:56.280
  • "I'm not doing that anymore."
  • 00:18:56.280 --> 00:18:58.220
  • And they were like, "Good."
  • 00:18:58.220 --> 00:19:00.030
  • And I said, "I'm gonna say it one time."
  • 00:19:00.030 --> 00:19:02.010
  • And of course in my head, I was like,
  • 00:19:03.290 --> 00:19:05.030
  • "They're never gonna do this,
  • 00:19:05.030 --> 00:19:07.060
  • "there's gonna be anarchy."
  • 00:19:07.060 --> 00:19:08.200
  • I told them, I said, "Obedience,"
  • 00:19:09.280 --> 00:19:11.070
  • and Havilah and I have this saying,
  • 00:19:11.070 --> 00:19:12.140
  • hers is a little nicer than mine.
  • 00:19:12.140 --> 00:19:13.290
  • I said, "Obedience is right away, all the way, happy way."
  • 00:19:13.290 --> 00:19:16.160
  • And I said, "When I say something,
  • 00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:19.000
  • "I'm not gonna count anymore.
  • 00:19:19.000 --> 00:19:20.060
  • "Because that's actually training you
  • 00:19:20.060 --> 00:19:21.290
  • "for delayed obedience." - That's right.
  • 00:19:21.290 --> 00:19:23.130
  • - "And there's times your life could be on risk.
  • 00:19:23.130 --> 00:19:25.100
  • "If you do not listen to me right away,
  • 00:19:25.100 --> 00:19:26.230
  • "a car could hit you."
  • 00:19:26.230 --> 00:19:28.080
  • So I said, "Right away," and so I modeled it for them.
  • 00:19:28.080 --> 00:19:30.190
  • And I was like, "So if we're watching, 'Vegetales,'
  • 00:19:30.190 --> 00:19:32.150
  • "and I say, 'Clean up the room,' and I go downstairs
  • 00:19:32.150 --> 00:19:35.210
  • "and in your mind you're thinking, 'I just wanna watch
  • 00:19:35.210 --> 00:19:37.130
  • "'one more silly song,' and I come up
  • 00:19:37.130 --> 00:19:38.210
  • "and this house is a mess still,
  • 00:19:38.210 --> 00:19:40.170
  • "I'm gonna think, 'Disobedience.'
  • 00:19:40.170 --> 00:19:42.080
  • "I'm not gonna think, 'Oh, they just want.'"
  • 00:19:42.080 --> 00:19:44.000
  • I said, "So you need to tell me, 'Can I watch this?'"
  • 00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:46.110
  • Or, "I'm gonna watch one thing and then I'm gonna do it."
  • 00:19:46.110 --> 00:19:49.080
  • And then a happy way was about the attitude.
  • 00:19:49.080 --> 00:19:52.250
  • That God doesn't look at the outward,
  • 00:19:52.250 --> 00:19:54.210
  • He looks at the heart.
  • 00:19:54.210 --> 00:19:56.060
  • I'm ultimately responsible for my children's heart.
  • 00:19:56.060 --> 00:19:58.260
  • Like how their positioning of their heart.
  • 00:19:58.260 --> 00:20:01.000
  • So right away, all the way, means to completion.
  • 00:20:01.000 --> 00:20:04.100
  • If I put your laundry in your room,
  • 00:20:04.100 --> 00:20:05.220
  • you don't put the clean clothes
  • 00:20:05.220 --> 00:20:07.000
  • in the dirty clothes hamper and bury it.
  • 00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:09.080
  • I was the crazy woman throwing all the clothes
  • 00:20:09.080 --> 00:20:11.200
  • out in the center of the room, and then I've realized,
  • 00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:14.070
  • they don't want me to do their laundry.
  • 00:20:14.070 --> 00:20:16.200
  • They wanna do their own laundry.
  • 00:20:16.200 --> 00:20:18.120
  • And the truth is most moms are their children's servants.
  • 00:20:18.120 --> 00:20:23.020
  • And I'm not saying you can't serve,
  • 00:20:23.020 --> 00:20:24.220
  • but I'm supposed to train my kids.
  • 00:20:24.220 --> 00:20:27.280
  • - That's right. - And love my husband.
  • 00:20:27.280 --> 00:20:29.130
  • And most women are trying to train their husbands
  • 00:20:29.130 --> 00:20:32.100
  • and loving their kids.
  • 00:20:32.100 --> 00:20:33.130
  • - We better leave on that note.
  • 00:20:34.250 --> 00:20:35.290
  • (all laughing)
  • 00:20:35.290 --> 00:20:36.280
  • - When that gets off balance,
  • 00:20:36.280 --> 00:20:38.080
  • the whole family gets off balance.
  • 00:20:38.080 --> 00:20:40.050
  • - Jeez. - Yeah.
  • 00:20:40.050 --> 00:20:41.080
  • - So true. - Wow.
  • 00:20:41.080 --> 00:20:43.070
  • - I was way busy training John, not my kids.
  • 00:20:43.070 --> 00:20:46.130
  • So I had to shift that. - Very good.
  • 00:20:46.130 --> 00:20:48.200
  • - Ooh, that's really good.
  • 00:20:48.200 --> 00:20:50.220
  • Lord help us, I'll repent. (all laughing)
  • 00:20:50.220 --> 00:20:53.080
  • - So today I wanna encourage those of you
  • 00:20:53.080 --> 00:20:54.290
  • that are in a relationship
  • 00:20:54.290 --> 00:20:56.080
  • or you have someone around you
  • 00:20:56.080 --> 00:20:58.000
  • where you know it's not healthy,
  • 00:20:58.000 --> 00:20:59.140
  • you know you need to make a change,
  • 00:20:59.140 --> 00:21:00.290
  • you know that you're either co-dependent
  • 00:21:00.290 --> 00:21:02.150
  • or they're dependent and you know
  • 00:21:02.150 --> 00:21:04.130
  • that it's not giving you life
  • 00:21:04.130 --> 00:21:06.010
  • and you're not able to be the person you're called to be,
  • 00:21:06.010 --> 00:21:08.030
  • so I wanna pray for you
  • 00:21:08.030 --> 00:21:09.150
  • that wherever you are, God would just come in,
  • 00:21:09.150 --> 00:21:12.020
  • break through and give you the peace and the clarity
  • 00:21:12.020 --> 00:21:15.250
  • to know what to do.
  • 00:21:15.250 --> 00:21:17.010
  • So Lord I thank you for each of these women
  • 00:21:17.010 --> 00:21:19.150
  • that are watching today.
  • 00:21:19.150 --> 00:21:20.220
  • I thank you that your hand is upon their life.
  • 00:21:20.220 --> 00:21:22.160
  • That it's not an accident that they are watching today
  • 00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:25.100
  • and watching this show, and I ask right now
  • 00:21:25.100 --> 00:21:27.280
  • that you would come in to their environment
  • 00:21:27.280 --> 00:21:30.040
  • and you would deposit courage,
  • 00:21:30.040 --> 00:21:32.130
  • you would deposit clarity, that whatever they need to do,
  • 00:21:32.130 --> 00:21:35.120
  • whether it's a hard decision or something
  • 00:21:35.120 --> 00:21:37.050
  • that they don't know how to do,
  • 00:21:37.050 --> 00:21:38.160
  • I ask that you would come beside them.
  • 00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:40.090
  • They would feel your spirit come beside them
  • 00:21:40.090 --> 00:21:42.210
  • to counsel them and to lead them,
  • 00:21:42.210 --> 00:21:45.030
  • even if they're in the valley of the shadow of death.
  • 00:21:45.030 --> 00:21:46.290
  • Even if they feel like they don't know
  • 00:21:46.290 --> 00:21:48.080
  • where to go from here.
  • 00:21:48.080 --> 00:21:49.150
  • You'd begin to show them a way out.
  • 00:21:49.150 --> 00:21:52.010
  • That nothing is impossible and nothing is hopeless.
  • 00:21:52.010 --> 00:21:55.030
  • Wherever they are today, give them courage for change
  • 00:21:55.030 --> 00:21:58.090
  • in Jesus' mighty name.
  • 00:21:58.090 --> 00:21:59.250
  • Amen.
  • 00:21:59.250 --> 00:22:01.110
  • - [Laurie] We want to stand with you in prayer.
  • 00:22:01.110 --> 00:22:02.190
  • You can call the number on your screen
  • 00:22:02.190 --> 00:22:04.060
  • to talk to a prayer partner.
  • 00:22:04.060 --> 00:22:05.210
  • We're here for you 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
  • 00:22:05.210 --> 00:22:09.020
  • We love you, but most importantly, God loves you.
  • 00:22:09.020 --> 00:22:11.160
  • - I am telling you, I have had the best day ever.
  • 00:22:12.280 --> 00:22:15.240
  • I have met new friends that I love so much,
  • 00:22:15.240 --> 00:22:18.050
  • I've learned a lot, I've grown a lot,
  • 00:22:18.050 --> 00:22:19.230
  • it is absolutely amazing and I am so excited
  • 00:22:19.230 --> 00:22:22.100
  • to be able to sit in my living room
  • 00:22:22.100 --> 00:22:23.190
  • and watch, "Better Together."
  • 00:22:23.190 --> 00:22:25.120
  • Okay, so Britney asked, "How do you love that relative
  • 00:22:27.220 --> 00:22:31.120
  • "who's a drama maker and has a toxic personality?"
  • 00:22:31.120 --> 00:22:34.230
  • - Yikes.
  • 00:22:35.260 --> 00:22:37.010
  • Loving is not ignoring something,
  • 00:22:37.010 --> 00:22:38.200
  • and loving is not enabling things,
  • 00:22:38.200 --> 00:22:40.190
  • so I think saying to somebody,
  • 00:22:40.190 --> 00:22:42.270
  • "I love you, but because I love you,
  • 00:22:42.270 --> 00:22:45.100
  • "I'm not gonna let you take this family
  • 00:22:45.100 --> 00:22:47.010
  • "emotional hostage anymore.
  • 00:22:47.010 --> 00:22:48.210
  • "We want to include you,
  • 00:22:48.210 --> 00:22:50.050
  • "but this is what it looks like to be healthy."
  • 00:22:50.050 --> 00:22:52.140
  • I love it when people truth tell me.
  • 00:22:52.140 --> 00:22:54.090
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:22:54.090 --> 00:22:55.170
  • - I mean, I love it when somebody is like,
  • 00:22:55.170 --> 00:22:57.040
  • "You know, you're completely being ridiculous right now."
  • 00:22:57.040 --> 00:22:58.170
  • And usually I kinda of know it, I'm like,
  • 00:22:58.170 --> 00:22:59.240
  • "Yeah, I know."
  • 00:22:59.240 --> 00:23:01.030
  • So if somebody would truth tell me and say,
  • 00:23:01.030 --> 00:23:03.100
  • "If you wanna be around,
  • 00:23:03.100 --> 00:23:05.110
  • "then this is what it looks like to do life together.
  • 00:23:05.110 --> 00:23:07.260
  • "And you don't take everybody hostage
  • 00:23:07.260 --> 00:23:10.130
  • "to your emotions and your drama and your toxicity."
  • 00:23:10.130 --> 00:23:13.120
  • - [CeCe] Here's what's coming up next on, "Better Together."
  • 00:23:13.120 --> 00:23:16.080
  • - I had three unexpected crises
  • 00:23:16.080 --> 00:23:18.210
  • that hit my family and my life.
  • 00:23:18.210 --> 00:23:20.200
  • They could have crippled me or they could launch me.
  • 00:23:20.200 --> 00:23:24.020
  • But the first one, it was the unexpected crisis of divorce.
  • 00:23:25.160 --> 00:23:29.170
  • - [CeCe] Watch, "Better Together," weekdays on TBN.
  • 00:23:29.170 --> 00:23:32.080