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Better Together LIVE | Episode 39

May 21, 2020

26:04

Indentifying emotional triggers. Reaching out for help. What can we expect on the journey to healing and recovery? | TBN Prayer Line: 1-888-731-1000

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Better Together LIVE | Episode 39

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- Laurie: TRAGEDY IS NOT THE
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- Laurie: TRAGEDY IS NOT THEEND OF OUR STORY.
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END OF OUR STORY.IT CAN BE TEMPTING TO SIT IN OUR
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IT CAN BE TEMPTING TO SIT IN OURPAIN OR EVEN RUN AWAY.
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PAIN OR EVEN RUN AWAY.BUT GOD CAN HEAL THE WOUNDS OF
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BUT GOD CAN HEAL THE WOUNDS OFOUR HEARTS.
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OUR HEARTS.LET'S TALK ABOUT FINDING HOPE IN
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LET'S TALK ABOUT FINDING HOPE INTHE RECOVERY, NO MATTER HOW LONG
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THE RECOVERY, NO MATTER HOW LONGIT TAKES.
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IT TAKES.COME ON.
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- Kayla: NONE OF US ARE EXEMPT
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- Kayla: NONE OF US ARE EXEMPTFROM BROKENNESS OR PAIN.
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FROM BROKENNESS OR PAIN.IT'S JUST PART OF LIFE.
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IT'S JUST PART OF LIFE.WE ARE ALL EITHER GOING THROUGH,
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WE ARE ALL EITHER GOING THROUGH,WILL GO THROUGH OR ARE IN THE
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WILL GO THROUGH OR ARE IN THEMIDDLE OF GOING THROUGH
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MIDDLE OF GOING THROUGHSOMETHING.
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SOMETHING.WHEN WE WALK THROUGH HARD THINGS
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WHEN WE WALK THROUGH HARD THINGSIT CHANGES US.
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IT CHANGES US.SUFFERING IS A REFINING PROCESS.
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SUFFERING IS A REFINING PROCESS.IT REMINDS US HOW LITTLE CONTROL
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IT REMINDS US HOW LITTLE CONTROLWE ACTUALLY HAVE AND HOW GREAT
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WE ACTUALLY HAVE AND HOW GREATOUR NEED FOR GOD ACTUALLY IS.
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OUR NEED FOR GOD ACTUALLY IS.IT CHANGES US WHEN WE WALK
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IT CHANGES US WHEN WE WALKTHROUGH THE FIRE.
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THROUGH THE FIRE.WHEN WE EXPERIENCE TRAUMA OR
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WHEN WE EXPERIENCE TRAUMA ORGRIEF OR LOSS IT CHANGES THE WAY
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GRIEF OR LOSS IT CHANGES THE WAYWE SEE EVERYTHING.
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WE SEE EVERYTHING.THE WAY WE INTERACT WITH THE
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THE WAY WE INTERACT WITH THEWORLD.
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WORLD.THE WAY WE INTERACT WITH OTHERS,
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THE WAY WE INTERACT WITH OTHERS,THE WAY WE PROCESS INFORMATION.
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THE WAY WE PROCESS INFORMATION.THE WAY WE RELATE TO OTHERS, IT
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THE WAY WE RELATE TO OTHERS, ITCHANGES OUR FAITH.
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CHANGES OUR FAITH.THE WAY WE DAILY WALK OUT AND
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THE WAY WE DAILY WALK OUT ANDDEPEND ON GOD.
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DEPEND ON GOD.IN MY 30 YEARS ON THIS EARTH,
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IN MY 30 YEARS ON THIS EARTH,I'VE WALKED THROUGH NUMEROUS
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I'VE WALKED THROUGH NUMEROUSWILDERNESS SEASONS WHERE MY PAIN
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WILDERNESS SEASONS WHERE MY PAINWAS ABSOLUTELY OVERWHELMING AND
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WAS ABSOLUTELY OVERWHELMING ANDI STRUGGLED TO KNOW WHAT DO WITH
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I STRUGGLED TO KNOW WHAT DO WITHIT.
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IT.WHAT I NOTICED EARLY ON,
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WHAT I NOTICED EARLY ON,ESPECIALLY AFTER LOSING MY
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ESPECIALLY AFTER LOSING MYHUSBAND WAS HOW HELPFUL IT WAS
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HUSBAND WAS HOW HELPFUL IT WASTO TALK ABOUT IT.
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TO TALK ABOUT IT.AFTER I EXPERIENCED THE TRAUMA
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AFTER I EXPERIENCED THE TRAUMAOF SUICIDE AND LOSING MY HUSBAND
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OF SUICIDE AND LOSING MY HUSBANDTO SUICIDE, MY THERAPIST
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TO SUICIDE, MY THERAPISTDESCRIBED IT AS MY BRAIN HAD ALL
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DESCRIBED IT AS MY BRAIN HAD ALLTHESE FILES.
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THESE FILES.ALL OF A SUDDEN MY BRAIN HAD
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ALL OF A SUDDEN MY BRAIN HADTHIS GREAT ORGANIZED SYSTEM.
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THIS GREAT ORGANIZED SYSTEM.ALL OF A SUDDEN ALL THESE FILES
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ALL OF A SUDDEN ALL THESE FILESTHAT WERE SCATTERED ALL OVER THE
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THAT WERE SCATTERED ALL OVER THEPLACE AND ALL THESE NEW PAPERS
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PLACE AND ALL THESE NEW PAPERSAND NO WHERE TO PUT IT.
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AND NO WHERE TO PUT IT.SO ALL DAY EVERY DAY FOR THE
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SO ALL DAY EVERY DAY FOR THEFIRST THREE MONTHS, EVEN WHEN I
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FIRST THREE MONTHS, EVEN WHEN IWENT TO BED, I DIDN'T EVEN GET A
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WENT TO BED, I DIDN'T EVEN GET ABREAK IN MY DREAMS, ALL DAY
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BREAK IN MY DREAMS, ALL DAYEVERY DAY I WOULD CIRCULATE THE
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EVERY DAY I WOULD CIRCULATE THETRAUMA.
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TRAUMA.THE TRAUMA WOULD GO AROUND AND
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THE TRAUMA WOULD GO AROUND ANDAROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND.
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AROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND.AND MY BRAIN WAS JUST TRYING TO
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AND MY BRAIN WAS JUST TRYING TOUNDERSTAND HOW DID THIS HAPPY TO
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UNDERSTAND HOW DID THIS HAPPY TOMY LIFE?
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MY LIFE?HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO MY
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HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO MYHUSBAND?
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HUSBAND?AND WHAT WAS SO HELPFUL, IT WAS
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AND WHAT WAS SO HELPFUL, IT WASSO HELPFUL FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT
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SO HELPFUL FOR ME TO THINK ABOUTIT THAT WAY AS THESE PAPERS
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IT THAT WAY AS THESE PAPERSSCATTERED EVERYWHERE.
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SCATTERED EVERYWHERE.IT GAVE ME A GOAL.
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IT GAVE ME A GOAL.THE GOAL WAS TO CREATE A NEW
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THE GOAL WAS TO CREATE A NEWFILING SYSTEM AND TO CREATE NEW
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FILING SYSTEM AND TO CREATE NEWFILES TO STORE THAT TRAUMA IN.
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FILES TO STORE THAT TRAUMA IN.IN ORDER TO CREATE THOSE NEW
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IN ORDER TO CREATE THOSE NEWFILES I HAD TO TALK ABOUT THE
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FILES I HAD TO TALK ABOUT THEPAIN AND I HAD TO PROCESS THE
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PAIN AND I HAD TO PROCESS THETRAUMA AND I HAD TO SIT IN
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TRAUMA AND I HAD TO SIT INTHERAPY AND I HAD TO SIT WITH A
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THERAPY AND I HAD TO SIT WITH ACOUNSELOR AND RELIVE A LOT OF
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COUNSELOR AND RELIVE A LOT OFTHOSE EXPERIENCES.
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THOSE EXPERIENCES.WE TALKED ABOUT BEFORE WRITING
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WE TALKED ABOUT BEFORE WRITINGIT DOWN AND JOURNALING WAS SO
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IT DOWN AND JOURNALING WAS SOHEALING FOR ME JUST TO GET THOSE
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HEALING FOR ME JUST TO GET THOSETHOUGHTS OUT OF MY HEAD AND ON
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THOUGHTS OUT OF MY HEAD AND ONTO PAPER.
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TO PAPER.BUT TRAUMA DOES SO MUCH TO OUR
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BUT TRAUMA DOES SO MUCH TO OURWHOLE PHYSICAL BODY.
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WHOLE PHYSICAL BODY.IT'S SUCH A PHYSICAL RESPONSE.
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IT'S SUCH A PHYSICAL RESPONSE.OUR MINDS-- I REMEMBER FEELING
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OUR MINDS-- I REMEMBER FEELINGLIKE I HAD AN ELEPHANT SITTING
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LIKE I HAD AN ELEPHANT SITTINGON MY CHEST.
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ON MY CHEST.IT WAS SO SUFFOCATING.
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IT WAS SO SUFFOCATING.I REMEMBER THE KNOT IN MY
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I REMEMBER THE KNOT IN MYSTOMACH WHERE I COULD NOT EAT.
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STOMACH WHERE I COULD NOT EAT.I LITERALLY DID NOT EAT FOR TWO
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I LITERALLY DID NOT EAT FOR TWOWEEKS.
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WEEKS.I COULD NOT EAT.
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I COULD NOT EAT.AND MY STOMACH WAS JUST IN
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AND MY STOMACH WAS JUST INKNOTS.
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KNOTS.THIS WHOLE BODY REACTION TO
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THIS WHOLE BODY REACTION TOTRAUMA CAN BE VERY DIFFICULT TO
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TRAUMA CAN BE VERY DIFFICULT TOKNOW WHAT TO DO WITH OUR PAIN.
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KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH OUR PAIN.SO I THINK RIGHT AWAY WHAT WAS
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SO I THINK RIGHT AWAY WHAT WASSO HELPFUL FOR ME WAS TO SEEK
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SO HELPFUL FOR ME WAS TO SEEKTHERAPY AND TO BE WILLING TO
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THERAPY AND TO BE WILLING TOTALK ABOUT IT AND TO BE WILLING
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TALK ABOUT IT AND TO BE WILLINGTO GO THERE EVEN THOUGH IT WAS
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TO GO THERE EVEN THOUGH IT WASPAINFUL.
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PAINFUL.TO BE WILLING TO GO BACK TO
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TO BE WILLING TO GO BACK TOTHOSE MOMENTS AND RELIVE THOSE
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THOSE MOMENTS AND RELIVE THOSETRAUMATIC EVENTS AND TALK ABOUT
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TRAUMATIC EVENTS AND TALK ABOUTIT AND CREATE NEW FILES.
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IT AND CREATE NEW FILES.AND OVER TIME I DID.
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AND OVER TIME I DID.TODAY IT'S BEEN A YEAR AND A
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TODAY IT'S BEEN A YEAR AND AHALF.
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HALF.I THINK IT'S BEEN TWENTY MONTHS
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I THINK IT'S BEEN TWENTY MONTHSSINCE HE PASSED AWAY.
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SINCE HE PASSED AWAY.AND MY BRAIN NOW HAS THESE NEW
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AND MY BRAIN NOW HAS THESE NEWFILES.
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FILES.IF I WANT TO GO BACK AND I WANT
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IF I WANT TO GO BACK AND I WANTTO THINK ABOUT SOMETHING, I PULL
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TO THINK ABOUT SOMETHING, I PULLIT OUT AND I CAN THINK ABOUT IT
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IT OUT AND I CAN THINK ABOUT ITAND REFLECT ON IT AND SIT IN IT
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AND REFLECT ON IT AND SIT IN ITFOR AWHILE AND I CAN PUT IT BACK
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FOR AWHILE AND I CAN PUT IT BACKIN AND IT HAS A SAFE SPACE TO
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IN AND IT HAS A SAFE SPACE TOGO.
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GO.SO THAT'S BEEN SUPER HELPFUL FOR
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SO THAT'S BEEN SUPER HELPFUL FORME IN MY JOURNEY OF EXPERIENCING
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ME IN MY JOURNEY OF EXPERIENCINGTRAUMA AND NOW HEALING.
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TRAUMA AND NOW HEALING.I'M ON THIS HEALING JOURNEY OF
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I'M ON THIS HEALING JOURNEY OFLEARNING HOW TO REBUILD MY LIFE
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LEARNING HOW TO REBUILD MY LIFEAFTER TRAUMA.
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AFTER TRAUMA.AND I KNOW, CHRYSTAL, THAT YOUR
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AND I KNOW, CHRYSTAL, THAT YOURFAMILY HAS WALKED THROUGH SO
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FAMILY HAS WALKED THROUGH SOMUCH GRIEF AND PAIN IN THESE
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MUCH GRIEF AND PAIN IN THESELAST FEW YEARS, MULTIPLE FAMILY
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LAST FEW YEARS, MULTIPLE FAMILYMEMBERS.
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MEMBERS.AND I WONDER HOW YOU HAVE DEALT
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AND I WONDER HOW YOU HAVE DEALTWITH YOUR GRIEF AND YOUR TRAUMA.
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WITH YOUR GRIEF AND YOUR TRAUMA.- Chrystal: YEAH, I MEAN, AND
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- Chrystal: YEAH, I MEAN, ANDTHERE ARE PEOPLE THEY ARE STILL,
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THERE ARE PEOPLE THEY ARE STILL,OF COURSE, ASKING ME HOW I'M
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OF COURSE, ASKING ME HOW I'MDOING BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING TO
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DOING BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING TOFIGURE OUT HOW IN THE MIDST OF
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FIGURE OUT HOW IN THE MIDST OFWALKING THROUGH IT AND
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WALKING THROUGH IT ANDCONTINUING TO LIVE A LOT OF THE
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CONTINUING TO LIVE A LOT OF THELIVING THAT WE DO, THAT I DO,
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LIVING THAT WE DO, THAT I DO,THAT MY FAMILY DOES IS IN FRONT
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THAT MY FAMILY DOES IS IN FRONTOF OTHER PEOPLE.
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OF OTHER PEOPLE.WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE?
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WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE?AND ARE YOU REALLY OKAY?
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AND ARE YOU REALLY OKAY?I LOVE HOW YOU EXPLAIN THIS IDEA
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I LOVE HOW YOU EXPLAIN THIS IDEAOF HAVING ALL THESE FILES AND NO
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OF HAVING ALL THESE FILES AND NOWHERE TO PUT THEM AND YOU'RE
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WHERE TO PUT THEM AND YOU'RECREATING NEW FILES.
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CREATING NEW FILES.I DEFINITELY THINK THAT A PART
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I DEFINITELY THINK THAT A PARTOF THAT HAS BEEN FIGURING OUT
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OF THAT HAS BEEN FIGURING OUTWHAT TO DO WITH THE THINGS YOU
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WHAT TO DO WITH THE THINGS YOUDIDN'T HAVE A PLACE FOR.
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DIDN'T HAVE A PLACE FOR.MY MOTHER, OF COURSE, SHE PASSED
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MY MOTHER, OF COURSE, SHE PASSEDAWAY IN DECEMBER, SHE ALWAYS
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AWAY IN DECEMBER, SHE ALWAYSWANTED TO LIVE A VERY, VERY LONG
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WANTED TO LIVE A VERY, VERY LONGLIFE.
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LIFE.AND MY GRANDPARENTS, HER PARENTS
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AND MY GRANDPARENTS, HER PARENTSDID.
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DID.HER MOTHER PASSED AWAY JUST A
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HER MOTHER PASSED AWAY JUST AFEW YEARS BEFORE AT THE AGE OF
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FEW YEARS BEFORE AT THE AGE OF97.
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97.AND MY MOTHER HAVING NOT HAD ANY
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AND MY MOTHER HAVING NOT HAD ANYREAL MAJOR HEALTH CHALLENGES,
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REAL MAJOR HEALTH CHALLENGES,PRETTY HEALTHY, DOING ALL THE
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PRETTY HEALTHY, DOING ALL THETHINGS, WORKING OUT, EATING
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THINGS, WORKING OUT, EATINGORGANIC, IT FELT LIKE BEING
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ORGANIC, IT FELT LIKE BEINGBLINDSIDED.
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BLINDSIDED.AND YOU FIND YOURSELF SAYING,
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AND YOU FIND YOURSELF SAYING,HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO US?
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HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO US?WELL, REALLY, WHY WOULDN'T IT
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WELL, REALLY, WHY WOULDN'T ITHAVE HAPPENED TO US?
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HAVE HAPPENED TO US?EVERYBODY WHO IS BLINDSIDED BY
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EVERYBODY WHO IS BLINDSIDED BYANYTHING DIFFICULT THAT RESULTS
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ANYTHING DIFFICULT THAT RESULTSIN A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE,
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IN A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE,PARTICULARLY WITH LOSS IS GOING
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PARTICULARLY WITH LOSS IS GOINGTO HAVE THAT THOUGHT, BECAUSE WE
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TO HAVE THAT THOUGHT, BECAUSE WEDON'T EXPECT IT.
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DON'T EXPECT IT.SO A LARGE PART OF THE JOURNEY
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SO A LARGE PART OF THE JOURNEYFOR ME IS ADJUSTING MY
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FOR ME IS ADJUSTING MYEXPECTATIONS, ADJUSTING MY
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EXPECTATIONS, ADJUSTING MYEXPECTATIONS FOR MY LIFE.
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EXPECTATIONS FOR MY LIFE.WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE, ADJUSTING
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WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE, ADJUSTINGTHE EXPECTATIONS OF WHAT I
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THE EXPECTATIONS OF WHAT IASSUME, ADJUSTING THE
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ASSUME, ADJUSTING THEEXPECTATIONS HOW I HONOR HER,
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EXPECTATIONS HOW I HONOR HER,FOR EXAMPLE, ONE OF THE THOUGHTS
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FOR EXAMPLE, ONE OF THE THOUGHTSTHAT I HAVE HAD, IT MAKES ME SAD
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THAT I HAVE HAD, IT MAKES ME SADBECAUSE I THINK THAT SHE HAD 25
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BECAUSE I THINK THAT SHE HAD 25YEARS, MORE THAN THAT, REALLY,
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YEARS, MORE THAN THAT, REALLY,TO LIVE IN A SEASON OF EMPTY
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TO LIVE IN A SEASON OF EMPTYNESTING, WHERE SHE ALSO HAD THE
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NESTING, WHERE SHE ALSO HAD THEBANDWIDTH, THE TIME, THE
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BANDWIDTH, THE TIME, THERESOURCES AND THE KNOWLEDGE TO
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RESOURCES AND THE KNOWLEDGE TOHONOR HER MOTHER WELL.
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HONOR HER MOTHER WELL.AND I'M JUST AT THE BEGINNING OF
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AND I'M JUST AT THE BEGINNING OFTHAT.
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THAT.MY KIDS ARE JUST GETTING OUT OF
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MY KIDS ARE JUST GETTING OUT OFTHE HOUSE.
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THE HOUSE.THAT SEASON WHERE, THEY'RE NOT
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THAT SEASON WHERE, THEY'RE NOTBUYING, YOU'RE BUYING, THEY'RE
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BUYING, YOU'RE BUYING, THEY'RENOT TAKING YOU ON SOMETHING,
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NOT TAKING YOU ON SOMETHING,YOU'RE TAKING THEM.
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YOU'RE TAKING THEM.AND THIS SEASON WHERE THE ROLES
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AND THIS SEASON WHERE THE ROLESSTART TO FLIP IN A VERY HEALTHY
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START TO FLIP IN A VERY HEALTHYWAY WHERE YOU CAN SERVE THEM.
00:06:38.191 --> 00:06:40.493
WAY WHERE YOU CAN SERVE THEM.I FELT ROBBED OF THAT.
00:06:40.493 --> 00:06:42.529
I FELT ROBBED OF THAT.I HAD TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT, MAN,
00:06:42.529 --> 00:06:44.130
I HAD TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT, MAN,I FELT ROBBED.
00:06:44.130 --> 00:06:44.964
I FELT ROBBED.I'M SURE YOU CAN IDENTIFY WITH
00:06:44.964 --> 00:06:46.766
I'M SURE YOU CAN IDENTIFY WITHTHAT TOO, KAYLA, WHERE THIS IS
00:06:46.766 --> 00:06:47.934
THAT TOO, KAYLA, WHERE THIS ISNOT HOW FAMILY WAS SUPPOSED TO
00:06:47.934 --> 00:06:48.868
NOT HOW FAMILY WAS SUPPOSED TOBE.
00:06:48.868 --> 00:06:49.636
BE.THIS IS NOT HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO
00:06:49.636 --> 00:06:51.438
THIS IS NOT HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TOGO AND JUST BEING HONEST ABOUT
00:06:51.438 --> 00:06:52.138
GO AND JUST BEING HONEST ABOUTTHAT.
00:06:52.138 --> 00:06:54.307
THAT.BEING HONEST ABOUT IT AND BEING
00:06:54.307 --> 00:06:55.909
BEING HONEST ABOUT IT AND BEINGOKAY WITH NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO
00:06:55.909 --> 00:06:56.943
OKAY WITH NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DOWITH IT.
00:06:56.943 --> 00:06:57.911
WITH IT.NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO.
00:06:57.911 --> 00:06:59.979
NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO.BECAUSE WHILE TIME DOESN'T HEAL
00:06:59.979 --> 00:07:01.247
BECAUSE WHILE TIME DOESN'T HEALALL WOUNDS, IT CERTAINLY MAKES
00:07:01.247 --> 00:07:02.415
ALL WOUNDS, IT CERTAINLY MAKESTHEM MORE PALATABLE.
00:07:02.415 --> 00:07:05.585
THEM MORE PALATABLE.YOU LEARN THIS WAY OF LIVING
00:07:05.585 --> 00:07:07.520
YOU LEARN THIS WAY OF LIVINGWITH THE THING THAT'S BEEN HARD
00:07:07.520 --> 00:07:08.721
WITH THE THING THAT'S BEEN HARDAND ACCEPTING THAT IT'S A PART
00:07:08.721 --> 00:07:10.690
AND ACCEPTING THAT IT'S A PARTOF YOU.
00:07:10.690 --> 00:07:11.724
OF YOU.WHEN I HAD A C-SECTION WITH ONE
00:07:11.724 --> 00:07:13.159
WHEN I HAD A C-SECTION WITH ONEOF MY KIDS, I REMEMBER BEING
00:07:13.159 --> 00:07:15.762
OF MY KIDS, I REMEMBER BEINGHORRIFIED.
00:07:15.762 --> 00:07:18.298
HORRIFIED.AFTER THE FACT WHERE I GOT
00:07:18.298 --> 00:07:22.035
AFTER THE FACT WHERE I GOTSLICED OPEN, WHERE THE BABY WAS
00:07:22.035 --> 00:07:23.937
SLICED OPEN, WHERE THE BABY WASTAKEN FROM ME AND BORN, AND I'M
00:07:23.937 --> 00:07:24.971
TAKEN FROM ME AND BORN, AND I'MSO GRATEFUL THAT WE HAVE
00:07:24.971 --> 00:07:26.272
SO GRATEFUL THAT WE HAVETECHNOLOGY TO MAKE THOSE THINGS
00:07:26.272 --> 00:07:27.974
TECHNOLOGY TO MAKE THOSE THINGSHAPPEN WHEN BIRTH IS HARD, BUT I
00:07:27.974 --> 00:07:29.442
HAPPEN WHEN BIRTH IS HARD, BUT IWAS, I'M NUMB THERE, NOBODY TOLD
00:07:29.442 --> 00:07:30.310
WAS, I'M NUMB THERE, NOBODY TOLDME THAT.
00:07:30.310 --> 00:07:33.246
ME THAT.OF COURSE IT MAKES SENSE THAT
00:07:33.246 --> 00:07:35.682
OF COURSE IT MAKES SENSE THATNERVES GET CUT AND YOUR BODY IS
00:07:35.682 --> 00:07:37.350
NERVES GET CUT AND YOUR BODY ISNOT GONNA BE THE SAME.
00:07:37.350 --> 00:07:38.751
NOT GONNA BE THE SAME.BUT THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS
00:07:38.751 --> 00:07:40.186
BUT THERE WERE SO MANY THINGSABOUT CHILD BIRTH AND SO MANY
00:07:40.186 --> 00:07:41.554
ABOUT CHILD BIRTH AND SO MANYTHINGS ABOUT THAT C-SECTION.
00:07:41.554 --> 00:07:43.189
THINGS ABOUT THAT C-SECTION.I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.
00:07:43.189 --> 00:07:46.426
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.SO ON TOP OF THE ACUTE PAIN OF
00:07:46.426 --> 00:07:48.728
SO ON TOP OF THE ACUTE PAIN OFTHIS STILL HURTS, LIKE I'M
00:07:48.728 --> 00:07:50.830
THIS STILL HURTS, LIKE I'MTRYING TO CARE FOR A NEWBORN
00:07:50.830 --> 00:07:52.699
TRYING TO CARE FOR A NEWBORNWHILE I PHYSICALLY DON'T HAVE MY
00:07:52.699 --> 00:07:55.702
WHILE I PHYSICALLY DON'T HAVE MYFULL PHYSICALITY BACK AND THERE
00:07:55.702 --> 00:07:57.804
FULL PHYSICALITY BACK AND THEREARE ALL THESE THINGS THAT CAME
00:07:57.804 --> 00:07:58.905
ARE ALL THESE THINGS THAT CAMEWITH THAT THAT I DID NOT KNOW
00:07:58.905 --> 00:07:59.639
WITH THAT THAT I DID NOT KNOWABOUT.
00:07:59.639 --> 00:08:01.908
ABOUT.AND I WOULD HEAR PEOPLE SAY TO
00:08:01.908 --> 00:08:02.709
AND I WOULD HEAR PEOPLE SAY TOME, AND MANY OF YOU MAY HAVE
00:08:02.709 --> 00:08:03.977
ME, AND MANY OF YOU MAY HAVEHEARD, IT TAKES NINE MONTHS TO
00:08:03.977 --> 00:08:05.078
HEARD, IT TAKES NINE MONTHS TOBAKE A BABY.
00:08:05.078 --> 00:08:06.913
BAKE A BABY.IT TAKES NINE MONTHS PLUS TO
00:08:06.913 --> 00:08:09.315
IT TAKES NINE MONTHS PLUS TORECOVER FROM HAVING ONE.
00:08:09.315 --> 00:08:11.251
RECOVER FROM HAVING ONE.JUST BE OKAY IN THE MIDDLE WITH
00:08:11.251 --> 00:08:12.418
JUST BE OKAY IN THE MIDDLE WITHALL OF THE UNEXPECTED THINGS
00:08:12.418 --> 00:08:13.720
ALL OF THE UNEXPECTED THINGSTHAT ARE COMING.
00:08:13.720 --> 00:08:15.188
THAT ARE COMING.YOU KNEW YOU WEREN'T GONNA GET
00:08:15.188 --> 00:08:16.022
YOU KNEW YOU WEREN'T GONNA GETANY SLEEP.
00:08:16.022 --> 00:08:17.757
ANY SLEEP.YOU KNEW YOUR BODY WAS NOT GONNA
00:08:17.757 --> 00:08:19.125
YOU KNEW YOUR BODY WAS NOT GONNABE YOUR OWN, BUT YOU MAY NOT
00:08:19.125 --> 00:08:19.859
BE YOUR OWN, BUT YOU MAY NOTHAVE REALIZED POST BABY HAVING
00:08:19.859 --> 00:08:22.128
HAVE REALIZED POST BABY HAVINGWHAT THAT EXPERIENCE WAS GONNA
00:08:22.128 --> 00:08:23.129
WHAT THAT EXPERIENCE WAS GONNABE LIKE FOR YOU.
00:08:23.129 --> 00:08:24.430
BE LIKE FOR YOU.AND THAT'S WHAT I THINK I'M
00:08:24.430 --> 00:08:25.932
AND THAT'S WHAT I THINK I'MLEARNING TO DO.
00:08:25.932 --> 00:08:26.933
LEARNING TO DO.IS LEARNING WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
00:08:26.933 --> 00:08:29.002
IS LEARNING WHAT IT LOOKS LIKETO HAVE ALL OF THE EMOTIONS, TO
00:08:29.002 --> 00:08:30.937
TO HAVE ALL OF THE EMOTIONS, TOHAVE ALL OF THE GRATITUDE.
00:08:30.937 --> 00:08:32.805
HAVE ALL OF THE GRATITUDE.BEING REALLY INTENTIONAL ABOUT
00:08:32.805 --> 00:08:35.542
BEING REALLY INTENTIONAL ABOUTWHAT WAS GOOD AND WHAT I DID GET
00:08:35.542 --> 00:08:37.243
WHAT WAS GOOD AND WHAT I DID GETTO HAVE AND NOT WHAT I LOST AND
00:08:37.243 --> 00:08:37.977
TO HAVE AND NOT WHAT I LOST ANDLEARNING TO HOLD THOSE TWO
00:08:37.977 --> 00:08:40.446
LEARNING TO HOLD THOSE TWOTHINGS IN TANDEM AND TO SAY, AS
00:08:40.446 --> 00:08:43.383
THINGS IN TANDEM AND TO SAY, ASI FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT LOOKS
00:08:43.383 --> 00:08:45.752
I FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT LOOKSLIKE FOR ME, TO HOLD THOSE
00:08:45.752 --> 00:08:47.353
LIKE FOR ME, TO HOLD THOSETHINGS IN TANDEM, GIVING MYSELF
00:08:47.353 --> 00:08:49.222
THINGS IN TANDEM, GIVING MYSELFGRACE TO REALIZE ONE DAY I
00:08:49.222 --> 00:08:50.823
GRACE TO REALIZE ONE DAY IDIDN'T EXPECT THAT.
00:08:50.823 --> 00:08:52.425
DIDN'T EXPECT THAT.ANOTHER DAY I DIDN'T KNOW THIS
00:08:52.425 --> 00:08:53.960
ANOTHER DAY I DIDN'T KNOW THISWAS GONNA BE NUMB.
00:08:53.960 --> 00:08:55.028
WAS GONNA BE NUMB.ANOTHER DAY I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
00:08:55.028 --> 00:08:56.729
ANOTHER DAY I DIDN'T KNOW THATTHIS WAS THE PAIN I WAS GONNA
00:08:56.729 --> 00:08:57.297
THIS WAS THE PAIN I WAS GONNAFEEL.
00:08:57.297 --> 00:08:58.665
FEEL.ANOTHER DAY I HAD NO IDEA.
00:08:58.665 --> 00:09:00.400
ANOTHER DAY I HAD NO IDEA.I KNEW I WOULD MISS HER, BUT I
00:09:00.400 --> 00:09:01.501
I KNEW I WOULD MISS HER, BUT IDIDN'T KNOW I WOULD MISS HER
00:09:01.501 --> 00:09:02.769
DIDN'T KNOW I WOULD MISS HERWHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.
00:09:02.769 --> 00:09:04.137
WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.OR I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THERE WAS
00:09:04.137 --> 00:09:05.038
OR I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THERE WASSOMETHING I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT
00:09:05.038 --> 00:09:05.705
SOMETHING I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUTTHIS.
00:09:05.705 --> 00:09:09.576
THIS.AND IN THE CHAOS, THE AFTERMATH
00:09:09.576 --> 00:09:11.945
AND IN THE CHAOS, THE AFTERMATHOF LOSS AND GRIEF, SAYING, IT'S
00:09:11.945 --> 00:09:13.913
OF LOSS AND GRIEF, SAYING, IT'SOKAY FOR ME NOT TO KNOW AND IT'S
00:09:13.913 --> 00:09:16.115
OKAY FOR ME NOT TO KNOW AND IT'SOKAY FOR THOSE EMOTIONS THAT
00:09:16.115 --> 00:09:17.817
OKAY FOR THOSE EMOTIONS THATCOME ALONG WITH THE TRAUMA OF
00:09:17.817 --> 00:09:19.986
COME ALONG WITH THE TRAUMA OFLOSS TO ARREST ME WHEN I LEAST
00:09:19.986 --> 00:09:22.822
LOSS TO ARREST ME WHEN I LEASTEXPECT IT AND IF I'M CRYING IN
00:09:22.822 --> 00:09:24.057
EXPECT IT AND IF I'M CRYING INTHE MIDDLE OF A THING I'M DOING
00:09:24.057 --> 00:09:25.825
THE MIDDLE OF A THING I'M DOINGONLINE OR IF TODAY I CAN'T
00:09:25.825 --> 00:09:27.527
ONLINE OR IF TODAY I CAN'TFUNCTION AND I'M TELLING MY
00:09:27.527 --> 00:09:28.928
FUNCTION AND I'M TELLING MYCHILDREN I REALLY MISS MY MOM
00:09:28.928 --> 00:09:30.229
CHILDREN I REALLY MISS MY MOMTODAY, BUT THAT'S OKAY.
00:09:30.229 --> 00:09:31.164
TODAY, BUT THAT'S OKAY.AND I THINK A PART OF THE TRAUMA
00:09:31.164 --> 00:09:34.534
AND I THINK A PART OF THE TRAUMAOF LOSS IS SAYING, MAN, THIS
00:09:34.534 --> 00:09:38.037
OF LOSS IS SAYING, MAN, THISHURTS AND IT HURTS ME IN WAYS I
00:09:38.037 --> 00:09:40.406
HURTS AND IT HURTS ME IN WAYS INEVER COULD HAVE ANTICIPATED OR
00:09:40.406 --> 00:09:44.611
NEVER COULD HAVE ANTICIPATED OREXPECTED, BUT BEING LOST IN THE
00:09:44.611 --> 00:09:47.280
EXPECTED, BUT BEING LOST IN THEMIDDLE OF THE LOSS IS OKAY.
00:09:47.280 --> 00:09:49.682
MIDDLE OF THE LOSS IS OKAY.IT'S OKAY.
00:09:49.682 --> 00:09:50.650
IT'S OKAY.AND ME LEARNING HOW TO DEAL WITH
00:09:50.650 --> 00:09:52.085
AND ME LEARNING HOW TO DEAL WITHALL THE UNEXPECTED THINGS THAT
00:09:52.085 --> 00:09:54.387
ALL THE UNEXPECTED THINGS THATCOME WITH IT IS A PROCESS, AND
00:09:54.387 --> 00:09:56.656
COME WITH IT IS A PROCESS, ANDTHAT'S OKAY.
00:09:56.656 --> 00:09:58.358
THAT'S OKAY.AS I LEARN WHAT THE NEW FILING
00:09:58.358 --> 00:09:59.025
AS I LEARN WHAT THE NEW FILINGSYSTEM IS.
00:09:59.025 --> 00:10:01.127
SYSTEM IS.ONE OF THE THINGS I'VE HAD TO
00:10:01.127 --> 00:10:02.362
ONE OF THE THINGS I'VE HAD TOLEARN AND I LOVE THAT ANALOGY,
00:10:02.362 --> 00:10:03.930
LEARN AND I LOVE THAT ANALOGY,ONE OF THE THINGS I'VE HAD TO
00:10:03.930 --> 00:10:07.900
ONE OF THE THINGS I'VE HAD TOLEARN IS THAT MY INITIAL GO TO,
00:10:07.900 --> 00:10:09.535
LEARN IS THAT MY INITIAL GO TO,LIKE I SAID WAS, FEELING ROBBED.
00:10:09.535 --> 00:10:10.403
LIKE I SAID WAS, FEELING ROBBED.SO I'M HAVING TO LEARN HOW TO
00:10:10.403 --> 00:10:12.839
SO I'M HAVING TO LEARN HOW TOTAKE THAT FEELING, WHICH, IT'S A
00:10:12.839 --> 00:10:15.008
TAKE THAT FEELING, WHICH, IT'S AREAL FEELING, BUT TO SAY, EVERY
00:10:15.008 --> 00:10:18.778
REAL FEELING, BUT TO SAY, EVERYTIME I FEEL THAT FEELING, I GET
00:10:18.778 --> 00:10:20.813
TIME I FEEL THAT FEELING, I GETTO REPLACE IT WITH, BUT MAN,
00:10:20.813 --> 00:10:23.149
TO REPLACE IT WITH, BUT MAN,LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF I GOT TO
00:10:23.149 --> 00:10:25.084
LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF I GOT TODO.
00:10:25.084 --> 00:10:26.452
DO.LOOK AT THE RELATIONSHIP, GREAT
00:10:26.452 --> 00:10:28.354
LOOK AT THE RELATIONSHIP, GREATRELATIONSHIP I HAD WITH MY MOM,
00:10:28.354 --> 00:10:29.889
RELATIONSHIP I HAD WITH MY MOM,LOOK AT ALL THE THINGS WE DID DO
00:10:29.889 --> 00:10:31.624
LOOK AT ALL THE THINGS WE DID DOTOGETHER.
00:10:31.624 --> 00:10:32.725
TOGETHER.SHE WAS THERE FOR THE BIRTH OF
00:10:32.725 --> 00:10:33.793
SHE WAS THERE FOR THE BIRTH OFALL OF MY CHILDREN.
00:10:33.793 --> 00:10:35.695
ALL OF MY CHILDREN.SHE WAS THERE AND ABLE TO SPEAK
00:10:35.695 --> 00:10:36.529
SHE WAS THERE AND ABLE TO SPEAKINTO MY LIFE, TO ENCOURAGE ME IN
00:10:36.529 --> 00:10:37.130
INTO MY LIFE, TO ENCOURAGE ME INMINISTRY.
00:10:37.130 --> 00:10:40.500
MINISTRY.ALL OF THESE THINGS, WE WENT
00:10:40.500 --> 00:10:41.634
ALL OF THESE THINGS, WE WENTOFF, JUST SHE AND I, ON SOME
00:10:41.634 --> 00:10:42.602
OFF, JUST SHE AND I, ON SOMETRIPS.
00:10:42.602 --> 00:10:43.703
TRIPS.WE HAD THE HARD CONVERSATIONS,
00:10:43.703 --> 00:10:45.571
WE HAD THE HARD CONVERSATIONS,LIKE, I GOT TO DO A LOT.
00:10:45.571 --> 00:10:47.240
LIKE, I GOT TO DO A LOT.BUT THERE'S A NEW FILING SYSTEM
00:10:47.240 --> 00:10:50.743
BUT THERE'S A NEW FILING SYSTEMTHAT I'M BUILDING, WHICH IS WHEN
00:10:50.743 --> 00:10:52.178
THAT I'M BUILDING, WHICH IS WHENI HAVE A RAW EMOTION TO REPLACE
00:10:52.178 --> 00:10:53.980
I HAVE A RAW EMOTION TO REPLACEIT, TO FEEL IT BUT TO REPLACE IT
00:10:53.980 --> 00:10:55.882
IT, TO FEEL IT BUT TO REPLACE ITWITH TRUTH AND THAT'S NEW.
00:10:55.882 --> 00:10:58.418
WITH TRUTH AND THAT'S NEW.AND I'M NOT BUILT THAT WAY.
00:10:58.418 --> 00:11:00.086
AND I'M NOT BUILT THAT WAY.I'M NOT A GLASS HALF FULL KIND
00:11:00.086 --> 00:11:01.087
I'M NOT A GLASS HALF FULL KINDOF PERSON.
00:11:01.087 --> 00:11:02.155
OF PERSON.I'M ALWAYS GONNA SEE WHAT'S
00:11:02.155 --> 00:11:03.823
I'M ALWAYS GONNA SEE WHAT'SWRONG, SO IT'S ALLOWING ME TO
00:11:03.823 --> 00:11:05.591
WRONG, SO IT'S ALLOWING ME TOCREATE NEW SLOTS FOR NEW EMOTION
00:11:05.591 --> 00:11:08.327
CREATE NEW SLOTS FOR NEW EMOTIONAND TO ATTACH NEW THOUGHTS AND
00:11:08.327 --> 00:11:10.630
AND TO ATTACH NEW THOUGHTS ANDPROCESS WITHIN IT SLOWLY AND I
00:11:10.630 --> 00:11:12.465
PROCESS WITHIN IT SLOWLY AND ITHINK WE HAVE TO GIVE OURSELVES
00:11:12.465 --> 00:11:15.702
THINK WE HAVE TO GIVE OURSELVESGRACE TO DO ALL OF THIS SLOWLY.
00:11:15.702 --> 00:11:19.572
GRACE TO DO ALL OF THIS SLOWLY.IT'S OKAY TO TAKE YOUR TIME.
00:11:19.572 --> 00:11:21.541
IT'S OKAY TO TAKE YOUR TIME.- Sheila: THAT'S SO RAW AND SO
00:11:21.541 --> 00:11:22.942
- Sheila: THAT'S SO RAW AND SOREAL, CHRYSTAL.
00:11:22.942 --> 00:11:24.777
REAL, CHRYSTAL.I THINK THAT'S A GIFT.
00:11:24.777 --> 00:11:26.779
I THINK THAT'S A GIFT.THANK YOU.
00:11:26.779 --> 00:11:28.147
THANK YOU.IT'S A GIFT TO BE ABLE TO SAY TO
00:11:28.147 --> 00:11:31.050
IT'S A GIFT TO BE ABLE TO SAY TOOTHER PEOPLE THIS IS NOT OKAY.
00:11:31.050 --> 00:11:32.618
OTHER PEOPLE THIS IS NOT OKAY.SO OFTEN WE FEEL WITHIN THE
00:11:32.618 --> 00:11:34.153
SO OFTEN WE FEEL WITHIN THECHRISTIAN COMMUNITY THAT WE HAVE
00:11:34.153 --> 00:11:35.722
CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY THAT WE HAVETO BE OKAY.
00:11:35.722 --> 00:11:37.156
TO BE OKAY.THAT WE HAVE TO SOMEHOW BE LIKE
00:11:37.156 --> 00:11:39.625
THAT WE HAVE TO SOMEHOW BE LIKEPR AGENTS FOR GOD.
00:11:39.625 --> 00:11:42.895
PR AGENTS FOR GOD.WHICH WE DON'T HAVE TO DO.
00:11:42.895 --> 00:11:44.664
WHICH WE DON'T HAVE TO DO.AND FOR ME IN MY OWN LIFE, IT'S
00:11:44.664 --> 00:11:47.533
AND FOR ME IN MY OWN LIFE, IT'SLIKE REALIZING THAT SCARS ARE
00:11:47.533 --> 00:11:49.102
LIKE REALIZING THAT SCARS AREPROOF THAT GOD HEALS.
00:11:49.102 --> 00:11:49.802
PROOF THAT GOD HEALS.THERE'S A DIFFERENT BETWEEN A
00:11:49.802 --> 00:11:55.341
THERE'S A DIFFERENT BETWEEN AWOUND AND A SCAR.
00:11:55.341 --> 00:11:56.175
WOUND AND A SCAR.I HAD A REALLY OPEN WOUND FOR
00:11:56.175 --> 00:11:58.344
I HAD A REALLY OPEN WOUND FORYEARS AFTER MY FATHER COMMITTED
00:11:58.344 --> 00:12:00.146
YEARS AFTER MY FATHER COMMITTEDSUICIDE.
00:12:00.146 --> 00:12:00.980
SUICIDE.AND THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS I
00:12:00.980 --> 00:12:04.050
AND THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS ITHOUGHT, GOD, HE LOVED YOU.
00:12:04.050 --> 00:12:06.352
THOUGHT, GOD, HE LOVED YOU.HE SERVED YOU.
00:12:06.352 --> 00:12:08.721
HE SERVED YOU.WHEN HE SANG SOMETIMES PEOPLE
00:12:08.721 --> 00:12:11.491
WHEN HE SANG SOMETIMES PEOPLEWOULD GIVE THEIR LIVES TO YOU
00:12:11.491 --> 00:12:13.126
WOULD GIVE THEIR LIVES TO YOUBECAUSE THERE WAS SUCH AN
00:12:13.126 --> 00:12:14.527
BECAUSE THERE WAS SUCH ANANOINTING IN MY FATHER'S LIFE.
00:12:14.527 --> 00:12:16.496
ANOINTING IN MY FATHER'S LIFE.WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE WHEN HE
00:12:16.496 --> 00:12:18.164
WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE WHEN HEWENT THROUGH ALL OF THAT?
00:12:18.164 --> 00:12:19.732
WENT THROUGH ALL OF THAT?AND KNOWING THAT HE WOULD NEVER
00:12:19.732 --> 00:12:22.034
AND KNOWING THAT HE WOULD NEVERWALK ME DOWN THE AISLE.
00:12:22.034 --> 00:12:24.036
WALK ME DOWN THE AISLE.I ALWAYS-- PEOPLE HAVE A HARD
00:12:24.036 --> 00:12:25.171
I ALWAYS-- PEOPLE HAVE A HARDTIME WITH SOME OF THIS STUFF
00:12:25.171 --> 00:12:26.038
TIME WITH SOME OF THIS STUFFBECAUSE THEY THINK, YOU LIKE
00:12:26.038 --> 00:12:26.939
BECAUSE THEY THINK, YOU LIKEFINE.
00:12:26.939 --> 00:12:28.274
FINE.BUT I FELT REALLY UGLY GROWING
00:12:28.274 --> 00:12:29.575
BUT I FELT REALLY UGLY GROWINGUP.
00:12:29.575 --> 00:12:30.676
UP.I WAS ONE OF THOSE KIDS THAT-- I
00:12:30.676 --> 00:12:32.612
I WAS ONE OF THOSE KIDS THAT-- IHAD GREASY HAIR AND I HAD BAD
00:12:32.612 --> 00:12:34.747
HAD GREASY HAIR AND I HAD BADSKIN.
00:12:34.747 --> 00:12:35.882
SKIN.WHICH IS GOOD NOW, BECAUSE NOW
00:12:35.882 --> 00:12:37.583
WHICH IS GOOD NOW, BECAUSE NOWTHAT I'M 60, MY SKIN'S BETTER.
00:12:37.583 --> 00:12:40.052
THAT I'M 60, MY SKIN'S BETTER.BUT, YOU KNOW, IN THE YEARS I
00:12:40.052 --> 00:12:41.020
BUT, YOU KNOW, IN THE YEARS INEEDED IT TO BE BETTER IT
00:12:41.020 --> 00:12:42.021
NEEDED IT TO BE BETTER ITWASN'T.
00:12:42.021 --> 00:12:45.224
WASN'T.I HAD SUCH A HARD TIME.
00:12:45.224 --> 00:12:45.992
I HAD SUCH A HARD TIME.I DON'T THINK-- I DIDN'T DATE
00:12:45.992 --> 00:12:46.959
I DON'T THINK-- I DIDN'T DATEMUCH ALL THE WAY THROUGH COLLEGE
00:12:46.959 --> 00:12:47.727
MUCH ALL THE WAY THROUGH COLLEGEBECAUSE I JUST FELT SO BAD ABOUT
00:12:47.727 --> 00:12:49.729
BECAUSE I JUST FELT SO BAD ABOUTMYSELF.
00:12:49.729 --> 00:12:52.064
MYSELF.AND I THOUGHT, IF MY DAD HAD
00:12:52.064 --> 00:12:52.799
AND I THOUGHT, IF MY DAD HADBEEN HERE, HE WOULD HAVE TOLD
00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:55.401
BEEN HERE, HE WOULD HAVE TOLDME, NO, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
00:12:55.401 --> 00:12:57.069
ME, NO, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.BUT AS I LEARNED TO PROCESS ALL
00:12:57.069 --> 00:12:58.171
BUT AS I LEARNED TO PROCESS ALLTHAT PAIN IN GOD'S PRESENCE,
00:12:58.171 --> 00:12:59.972
THAT PAIN IN GOD'S PRESENCE,IT'S NOT AN OPEN WOUND ANYMORE.
00:12:59.972 --> 00:13:01.541
IT'S NOT AN OPEN WOUND ANYMORE.IT'S A SCAR.
00:13:01.541 --> 00:13:03.743
IT'S A SCAR.AND TO ME A SCAR IS PROOF THAT
00:13:03.743 --> 00:13:05.444
AND TO ME A SCAR IS PROOF THATGOD HEALS.
00:13:05.444 --> 00:13:06.712
GOD HEALS.IT DOESN'T HURT AS MUCH ANYMORE.
00:13:06.712 --> 00:13:07.713
IT DOESN'T HURT AS MUCH ANYMORE.IT'S STILL THERE.
00:13:07.713 --> 00:13:09.448
IT'S STILL THERE.YOU SEE IT.
00:13:09.448 --> 00:13:10.483
YOU SEE IT.BUT I OFTEN THINK OF THE FACT
00:13:10.483 --> 00:13:13.419
BUT I OFTEN THINK OF THE FACTTHAT CHRIST COULD HAVE CHOSEN TO
00:13:13.419 --> 00:13:14.720
THAT CHRIST COULD HAVE CHOSEN TORISE FROM THE DEAD AND NOT ONLY
00:13:14.720 --> 00:13:16.789
RISE FROM THE DEAD AND NOT ONLYLEAVE THE CLOTHS HE WAS WRAPPED
00:13:16.789 --> 00:13:19.058
LEAVE THE CLOTHS HE WAS WRAPPEDIN IN THE TOMB, HE COULD HAVE
00:13:19.058 --> 00:13:20.359
IN IN THE TOMB, HE COULD HAVELEFT THE SCARS AS WELL.
00:13:20.359 --> 00:13:21.627
LEFT THE SCARS AS WELL.BUT HE DIDN'T.
00:13:21.627 --> 00:13:22.361
BUT HE DIDN'T.HE KEPT THE MARKS OF
00:13:22.361 --> 00:13:24.764
HE KEPT THE MARKS OFCRUCIFIXION.
00:13:24.764 --> 00:13:26.732
CRUCIFIXION.IN OUR ETERNAL HOME, TO ME THE
00:13:26.732 --> 00:13:29.135
IN OUR ETERNAL HOME, TO ME THEONLY SIGNS OF HUMAN PAIN WILL
00:13:29.135 --> 00:13:31.971
ONLY SIGNS OF HUMAN PAIN WILLSTILL BE THE SCARS OF CHRIST.
00:13:31.971 --> 00:13:34.040
STILL BE THE SCARS OF CHRIST.AND I THINK IF HE'S OUR
00:13:34.040 --> 00:13:36.342
AND I THINK IF HE'S OURSHEPHERD.
00:13:36.342 --> 00:13:37.076
SHEPHERD.IF HE IS THE ONE THAT'S GONNA
00:13:37.076 --> 00:13:38.110
IF HE IS THE ONE THAT'S GONNAWALK YOU AND ME ALL THE WAY
00:13:38.110 --> 00:13:39.712
WALK YOU AND ME ALL THE WAYHOME.
00:13:39.712 --> 00:13:41.180
HOME.AND HE CHOSE TO KEEP THESE
00:13:41.180 --> 00:13:43.149
AND HE CHOSE TO KEEP THESESCARS.
00:13:43.149 --> 00:13:44.317
SCARS.THEN WE CAN LEARN TO BRING OUR
00:13:44.317 --> 00:13:46.185
THEN WE CAN LEARN TO BRING OURWOUNDS TO HIM.
00:13:46.185 --> 00:13:47.887
WOUNDS TO HIM.AND OVER TIME ALLOW HIM TO BRING
00:13:47.887 --> 00:13:50.156
AND OVER TIME ALLOW HIM TO BRINGENOUGH HEALING.
00:13:50.156 --> 00:13:51.324
ENOUGH HEALING.I WAS SPEAKING AT A WOMAN'S
00:13:51.324 --> 00:13:53.059
I WAS SPEAKING AT A WOMAN'SCONFERENCE BACK WHEN WE COULD
00:13:53.059 --> 00:13:53.659
CONFERENCE BACK WHEN WE COULDSTILL SPEAK AT WOMEN'S
00:13:53.659 --> 00:13:54.894
STILL SPEAK AT WOMEN'SCONFERENCES.
00:13:54.894 --> 00:13:56.729
CONFERENCES.I NOTICED THERE WAS ONE
00:13:56.729 --> 00:13:58.197
I NOTICED THERE WAS ONEGENTLEMAN IN THE AUDIENCE.
00:13:58.197 --> 00:13:59.298
GENTLEMAN IN THE AUDIENCE.I WONDERED IF HE WAS MAYBE THE
00:13:59.298 --> 00:14:00.766
I WONDERED IF HE WAS MAYBE THEPASTOR AND HE JUST WANTED TO
00:14:00.766 --> 00:14:01.467
PASTOR AND HE JUST WANTED TOHEAR WHAT I WAS SHARING WITH
00:14:01.467 --> 00:14:02.702
HEAR WHAT I WAS SHARING WITHTHESE WOMEN.
00:14:02.702 --> 00:14:03.903
THESE WOMEN.BUT AT THE END WHEN EVERYTHING
00:14:03.903 --> 00:14:04.837
BUT AT THE END WHEN EVERYTHINGWAS OVER AND EVERYONE ELSE HAD
00:14:04.837 --> 00:14:06.439
WAS OVER AND EVERYONE ELSE HADGONE HOME, HE WAS STILL THERE
00:14:06.439 --> 00:14:07.740
GONE HOME, HE WAS STILL THEREAND HE WAS STANDING WITH A
00:14:07.740 --> 00:14:09.041
AND HE WAS STANDING WITH ABEAUTIFUL YOUNG GIRL WHICH I
00:14:09.041 --> 00:14:09.842
BEAUTIFUL YOUNG GIRL WHICH ILEARNED WAS HIS DAUGHTER.
00:14:09.842 --> 00:14:11.143
LEARNED WAS HIS DAUGHTER.HE CAME OVER TO ME AND HE TURNED
00:14:11.143 --> 00:14:12.111
HE CAME OVER TO ME AND HE TURNEDHIS WHOLE FACE.
00:14:12.111 --> 00:14:15.248
HIS WHOLE FACE.I SAW HALF OF HIS FACE WAS
00:14:15.248 --> 00:14:19.118
I SAW HALF OF HIS FACE WASPRETTY MUCH GONE AND HE SAID TO
00:14:19.118 --> 00:14:20.586
PRETTY MUCH GONE AND HE SAID TOME THAT WHEN HE WAS 15 YEARS OLD
00:14:20.586 --> 00:14:22.255
ME THAT WHEN HE WAS 15 YEARS OLDHE WAS GOING THROUGH A TIME OF
00:14:22.255 --> 00:14:24.557
HE WAS GOING THROUGH A TIME OFINCREDIBLE AGONY AND SUICIDAL
00:14:24.557 --> 00:14:26.125
INCREDIBLE AGONY AND SUICIDALDESPAIR, AND HE TOOK A GUN AND
00:14:26.125 --> 00:14:27.994
DESPAIR, AND HE TOOK A GUN ANDHE PUT IT UNDER HIS CHIN AND HE
00:14:27.994 --> 00:14:29.295
HE PUT IT UNDER HIS CHIN AND HESAID IN THAT MILLISECOND BETWEEN
00:14:29.295 --> 00:14:31.397
SAID IN THAT MILLISECOND BETWEENWHEN HIS FINGER PRESSED THE
00:14:31.397 --> 00:14:32.531
WHEN HIS FINGER PRESSED THETRIGGER AND THE BULLET WENT INTO
00:14:32.531 --> 00:14:35.001
TRIGGER AND THE BULLET WENT INTOHIS BRAIN, HE HEARD CHRIST SAY,
00:14:35.001 --> 00:14:37.436
HIS BRAIN, HE HEARD CHRIST SAY,DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?
00:14:37.436 --> 00:14:41.274
DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?AND HE SAID, YES.
00:14:41.274 --> 00:14:42.041
AND HE SAID, YES.AND HE IS NOW MARRIED WITH THREE
00:14:42.041 --> 00:14:42.642
AND HE IS NOW MARRIED WITH THREECHILDREN.
00:14:42.642 --> 00:14:43.809
CHILDREN.I ASKED HIM THIS.
00:14:43.809 --> 00:14:45.444
I ASKED HIM THIS.I SAID, WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE
00:14:45.444 --> 00:14:46.879
I SAID, WHEN YOU LOOK IN THEMIRROR, IS THAT A DAILY REMINDER
00:14:46.879 --> 00:14:49.682
MIRROR, IS THAT A DAILY REMINDEROF A PROCHOICE YOU MADE?
00:14:49.682 --> 00:14:52.385
OF A PROCHOICE YOU MADE?HE SAID, NO, NO, SHEILA.
00:14:52.385 --> 00:14:53.152
HE SAID, NO, NO, SHEILA.MY SCARS ARE A DAILY REMINDER OF
00:14:53.152 --> 00:14:55.454
MY SCARS ARE A DAILY REMINDER OFTHE GRACE OF GOD.
00:14:55.454 --> 00:14:57.089
THE GRACE OF GOD.I HAVE THIS LIFE.
00:14:57.089 --> 00:14:58.157
I HAVE THIS LIFE.AND NOW HE SPENDS HIS WHOLE LIFE
00:14:58.157 --> 00:15:00.426
AND NOW HE SPENDS HIS WHOLE LIFEMINISTERING TO TEENAGERS WHO ARE
00:15:00.426 --> 00:15:01.727
MINISTERING TO TEENAGERS WHO ARESTRUGGLING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS.
00:15:01.727 --> 00:15:05.464
STRUGGLING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS.THERE'S SOMETHING REDEMPTIVE,
00:15:05.464 --> 00:15:06.933
THERE'S SOMETHING REDEMPTIVE,EVERYTHING ABOUT GOD IS
00:15:06.933 --> 00:15:08.467
EVERYTHING ABOUT GOD ISREDEMPTIVE.
00:15:08.467 --> 00:15:10.102
REDEMPTIVE.BUT THERE'S SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL
00:15:10.102 --> 00:15:11.404
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING BEAUTIFULHE WILL DO WITH OUR WOUNDS.
00:15:11.404 --> 00:15:13.072
HE WILL DO WITH OUR WOUNDS.AND WHEN THEY BECOME SCARS THEY
00:15:13.072 --> 00:15:14.140
AND WHEN THEY BECOME SCARS THEYARE PROOF TO OTHER PEOPLE THAT
00:15:14.140 --> 00:15:16.709
ARE PROOF TO OTHER PEOPLE THATGOD HEALS.
00:15:16.709 --> 00:15:21.580
GOD HEALS.- Laurie: THAT IS SO GOOD.
00:15:21.580 --> 00:15:24.116
- Laurie: THAT IS SO GOOD.THAT IS A PARADIGM SHIFT OF YOUR
00:15:24.116 --> 00:15:26.719
THAT IS A PARADIGM SHIFT OF YOURMIND AND OF YOUR THINKING OF THE
00:15:26.719 --> 00:15:29.188
MIND AND OF YOUR THINKING OF THEGRATEFULNESS THAT COMES OUT AT
00:15:29.188 --> 00:15:31.357
GRATEFULNESS THAT COMES OUT ATTIMES LIKE THAT.
00:15:31.357 --> 00:15:33.225
TIMES LIKE THAT.WHEN YOU HEAR ABOUT A LOSS LIKE
00:15:33.225 --> 00:15:36.028
WHEN YOU HEAR ABOUT A LOSS LIKEKAYLA, THAT COULD JUST RIP MY
00:15:36.028 --> 00:15:39.832
KAYLA, THAT COULD JUST RIP MYHEART OUT, OR A LOSS OF A CHILD,
00:15:39.832 --> 00:15:42.001
HEART OUT, OR A LOSS OF A CHILD,YOU THINK OF WHAT'S MISSING NOW,
00:15:42.001 --> 00:15:46.205
YOU THINK OF WHAT'S MISSING NOW,BUT THEN TO TURN THAT AROUND AND
00:15:46.205 --> 00:15:49.475
BUT THEN TO TURN THAT AROUND ANDTO BE GRATEFUL FOR THE TWO YEARS
00:15:49.475 --> 00:15:51.477
TO BE GRATEFUL FOR THE TWO YEARSTHAT I HAD WITH THAT BABY OR THE
00:15:51.477 --> 00:15:53.412
THAT I HAD WITH THAT BABY OR THEFEW MONTHS THAT THAT BABY GOT TO
00:15:53.412 --> 00:15:54.847
FEW MONTHS THAT THAT BABY GOT TOCHANGE MY LIFE AND NOW HE'S WITH
00:15:54.847 --> 00:15:56.749
CHANGE MY LIFE AND NOW HE'S WITHTHE LORD, THAT KIND OF STUFF IS
00:15:56.749 --> 00:16:00.019
THE LORD, THAT KIND OF STUFF ISGOD'S GRACE FOR THE TIME WHEN WE
00:16:00.019 --> 00:16:01.354
GOD'S GRACE FOR THE TIME WHEN WENEED IT, THAT'S GOD'S GRACE FOR
00:16:01.354 --> 00:16:02.421
NEED IT, THAT'S GOD'S GRACE FORTHE DAY.
00:16:02.421 --> 00:16:06.192
THE DAY.AND ALL OF THAT.
00:16:06.192 --> 00:16:08.561
AND ALL OF THAT.BUT, THE OTHER DAY I WAS
00:16:08.561 --> 00:16:09.862
BUT, THE OTHER DAY I WASTHINKING ABOUT SOMETHING, JUST
00:16:09.862 --> 00:16:11.464
THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING, JUSTMY ONLY PERSONAL LIFE, NO BIG
00:16:11.464 --> 00:16:12.331
MY ONLY PERSONAL LIFE, NO BIGDEAL.
00:16:12.331 --> 00:16:13.766
DEAL.IT WAS SOMETHING I WANTED TO DO.
00:16:13.766 --> 00:16:17.703
IT WAS SOMETHING I WANTED TO DO.SOMETHING THAT I CAN'T DO THAT I
00:16:17.703 --> 00:16:18.904
SOMETHING THAT I CAN'T DO THAT IWOULD LOVE TO DO.
00:16:18.904 --> 00:16:20.373
WOULD LOVE TO DO.SO I MIGHT AS WELL GET REAL
00:16:20.373 --> 00:16:21.707
SO I MIGHT AS WELL GET REALSINCE WE DO THAT ON "BETTER
00:16:21.707 --> 00:16:22.375
SINCE WE DO THAT ON "BETTERTOGETHER."
00:16:22.375 --> 00:16:25.277
TOGETHER."I LOVE TO PLAY THE PIANO.
00:16:25.277 --> 00:16:27.146
I LOVE TO PLAY THE PIANO.AND I'VE GOT THIS BEAUTIFUL
00:16:27.146 --> 00:16:28.247
AND I'VE GOT THIS BEAUTIFULPIANO MY HUSBAND BOUGHT ME YEARS
00:16:28.247 --> 00:16:30.783
PIANO MY HUSBAND BOUGHT ME YEARSAGO.
00:16:30.783 --> 00:16:32.051
AGO.AND I WILL NOT PLAY THAT PIANO
00:16:32.051 --> 00:16:32.985
AND I WILL NOT PLAY THAT PIANOIN FRONT OF ANYBODY BUT MY
00:16:32.985 --> 00:16:34.020
IN FRONT OF ANYBODY BUT MYCHILDREN AND MY HUSBAND.
00:16:34.020 --> 00:16:34.954
CHILDREN AND MY HUSBAND.IF THEY ARE IN THE HOUSE, IT'S
00:16:34.954 --> 00:16:36.155
IF THEY ARE IN THE HOUSE, IT'SALL RIGHT.
00:16:36.155 --> 00:16:39.992
ALL RIGHT.BUT I JUST-- THERE IS LIKE, ALL
00:16:39.992 --> 00:16:43.396
BUT I JUST-- THERE IS LIKE, ALLOF MY FAMILY, THERE ARE THESE
00:16:43.396 --> 00:16:47.733
OF MY FAMILY, THERE ARE THESEAMAZING MUSICIANS.
00:16:47.733 --> 00:16:49.535
AMAZING MUSICIANS.AND MY BROTHER CAN PICK UP ANY
00:16:49.535 --> 00:16:52.171
AND MY BROTHER CAN PICK UP ANYMUSICAL INSTRUMENTS AND PLAY IT.
00:16:52.171 --> 00:16:54.206
MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS AND PLAY IT.IT'S NATURAL FOR HIM.
00:16:54.206 --> 00:16:58.711
IT'S NATURAL FOR HIM.AND I AM THE FRUSTRATED LITTLE
00:16:58.711 --> 00:17:00.179
AND I AM THE FRUSTRATED LITTLESISTER WHO JUST SEEMS LIKE
00:17:00.179 --> 00:17:02.248
SISTER WHO JUST SEEMS LIKETHERE'S A LITTLE SWITCH IN MY
00:17:02.248 --> 00:17:03.416
THERE'S A LITTLE SWITCH IN MYBRAIN THAT HAS NOT EVER FLIPPED.
00:17:03.416 --> 00:17:05.418
BRAIN THAT HAS NOT EVER FLIPPED.DOES ANYBODY EVER DO THAT?
00:17:05.418 --> 00:17:07.953
DOES ANYBODY EVER DO THAT?I JUST DON'T GET IT BUT I CAN
00:17:07.953 --> 00:17:10.423
I JUST DON'T GET IT BUT I CANPLAY A LITTLE BIT BUT I CAN'T
00:17:10.423 --> 00:17:13.059
PLAY A LITTLE BIT BUT I CAN'TREAD MUSIC, GOD HELP ME.
00:17:13.059 --> 00:17:15.428
READ MUSIC, GOD HELP ME.BUT THAT'S ONE DESIRE THAT I
00:17:15.428 --> 00:17:17.963
BUT THAT'S ONE DESIRE THAT IJUST WISH-- THE OTHER DAY, I'M
00:17:17.963 --> 00:17:19.698
JUST WISH-- THE OTHER DAY, I'MTHINKING ABOUT IT AND I'M GOING
00:17:19.698 --> 00:17:21.901
THINKING ABOUT IT AND I'M GOINGON MY MERRY WAY AND THE LORD
00:17:21.901 --> 00:17:22.701
ON MY MERRY WAY AND THE LORDSAYS, YOU'VE NEVER ASKED ME TO
00:17:22.701 --> 00:17:26.272
SAYS, YOU'VE NEVER ASKED ME TOHELP YOU.
00:17:26.272 --> 00:17:29.008
HELP YOU.AND I THOUGHT, THAT WOULD SOUND
00:17:29.008 --> 00:17:30.309
AND I THOUGHT, THAT WOULD SOUNDFUNNY THAT MAYBE I WOULD ASK YOU
00:17:30.309 --> 00:17:32.244
FUNNY THAT MAYBE I WOULD ASK YOUTO HELP ME PLAY THE PIANO OR
00:17:32.244 --> 00:17:34.513
TO HELP ME PLAY THE PIANO ORHELP THAT SWITCH FLIP.
00:17:34.513 --> 00:17:35.347
HELP THAT SWITCH FLIP.HE SAID YOU HAVE NOT BECAUSE YOU
00:17:35.347 --> 00:17:36.215
HE SAID YOU HAVE NOT BECAUSE YOUASK NOT.
00:17:36.215 --> 00:17:37.450
ASK NOT.WE HEAR THAT SO MUCH.
00:17:37.450 --> 00:17:41.720
WE HEAR THAT SO MUCH.BUT I THINK THAT THAT SCRIPTURE
00:17:41.720 --> 00:17:46.759
BUT I THINK THAT THAT SCRIPTUREIN THESE AREAS OF GOD ASKING GOD
00:17:46.759 --> 00:17:49.862
IN THESE AREAS OF GOD ASKING GODTO COME IN AND TO FILL THOSE
00:17:49.862 --> 00:17:51.330
TO COME IN AND TO FILL THOSEWOUNDS, FILL THOSE EMPTY PLACES
00:17:51.330 --> 00:17:54.967
WOUNDS, FILL THOSE EMPTY PLACESIN OUR LIVES WHERE, MAN, THERE
00:17:54.967 --> 00:17:58.437
IN OUR LIVES WHERE, MAN, THEREIS A LOSS, THERE IS WOUND THAT'S
00:17:58.437 --> 00:17:59.939
IS A LOSS, THERE IS WOUND THAT'STHE SIZE OF TEXAS AND TO ASK FOR
00:17:59.939 --> 00:18:04.710
THE SIZE OF TEXAS AND TO ASK FORGOD'S HELP AND TO ASK FOR HIM TO
00:18:04.710 --> 00:18:07.113
GOD'S HELP AND TO ASK FOR HIM TOFILL THOSE WOUNDS.
00:18:07.113 --> 00:18:11.417
FILL THOSE WOUNDS.LESLIE, YOU KNOW, WE'RE TALKING
00:18:11.417 --> 00:18:13.953
LESLIE, YOU KNOW, WE'RE TALKINGABOUT TRAUMA AND RECOVERY TODAY.
00:18:13.953 --> 00:18:16.722
ABOUT TRAUMA AND RECOVERY TODAY.WHAT SHOULD WE EXPECT DURING A
00:18:16.722 --> 00:18:19.625
WHAT SHOULD WE EXPECT DURING ARECOVERY PROCESS GETTING PAST
00:18:19.625 --> 00:18:23.462
RECOVERY PROCESS GETTING PASTTHE TRAUMA AND THE PAIN?
00:18:23.462 --> 00:18:24.230
THE TRAUMA AND THE PAIN?- Leslie: WELL, LAURIE, THANK
00:18:24.230 --> 00:18:25.931
- Leslie: WELL, LAURIE, THANKYOU FOR YOUR GENUINENESS.
00:18:25.931 --> 00:18:27.299
YOU FOR YOUR GENUINENESS.THESE LOSSES.
00:18:27.299 --> 00:18:28.067
THESE LOSSES.I'M REELING IN IT.
00:18:28.067 --> 00:18:29.435
I'M REELING IN IT.THAT IS LIFE.
00:18:29.435 --> 00:18:31.937
THAT IS LIFE.EVERY LIFE HOLDS TRAGEDY.
00:18:31.937 --> 00:18:33.606
EVERY LIFE HOLDS TRAGEDY.ONE OF THE THINGS THAT IS SO
00:18:33.606 --> 00:18:34.940
ONE OF THE THINGS THAT IS SOHELPFUL TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT
00:18:34.940 --> 00:18:37.643
HELPFUL TO UNDERSTAND ABOUTTRAUMA AND THE WAY IT AFFECTS
00:18:37.643 --> 00:18:39.778
TRAUMA AND THE WAY IT AFFECTSUS, WE DON'T NECESSARILY FEEL
00:18:39.778 --> 00:18:42.414
US, WE DON'T NECESSARILY FEELTHE TRAUMA IN THE MOMENT WHERE
00:18:42.414 --> 00:18:45.251
THE TRAUMA IN THE MOMENT WHEREWE ARE BEING WOUNDED.
00:18:45.251 --> 00:18:46.252
WE ARE BEING WOUNDED.IN OTHER WORDS, SOMETIMES WE ARE
00:18:46.252 --> 00:18:47.453
IN OTHER WORDS, SOMETIMES WE ARESUPER SURPRISED WHEN WE THINK
00:18:47.453 --> 00:18:48.654
SUPER SURPRISED WHEN WE THINKWE'VE RECOVERED, WE'VE
00:18:48.654 --> 00:18:50.422
WE'VE RECOVERED, WE'VEREGROUPED, WE'VE GONE ON WITH
00:18:50.422 --> 00:18:52.391
REGROUPED, WE'VE GONE ON WITHLIFE AND OUT OF THE BLUE
00:18:52.391 --> 00:18:53.859
LIFE AND OUT OF THE BLUESOMETHING TRIGGERS US AND ALL OF
00:18:53.859 --> 00:18:54.960
SOMETHING TRIGGERS US AND ALL OFA SUDDEN NOW WE'RE FEELING THE
00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:56.228
A SUDDEN NOW WE'RE FEELING THETRAUMA.
00:18:56.228 --> 00:18:58.097
TRAUMA.WELL, ONE OF THE THINGS THAT GOD
00:18:58.097 --> 00:18:59.832
WELL, ONE OF THE THINGS THAT GODHAS GIVEN US IS THE CAPACITY TO
00:18:59.832 --> 00:19:03.602
HAS GIVEN US IS THE CAPACITY TOSURVIVE A CRISIS.
00:19:03.602 --> 00:19:04.703
SURVIVE A CRISIS.IT IS NOT UNTIL WE'RE MORE WHOLE
00:19:04.703 --> 00:19:07.573
IT IS NOT UNTIL WE'RE MORE WHOLEAND SETTLED IN SECURE, JUST LIKE
00:19:07.573 --> 00:19:09.008
AND SETTLED IN SECURE, JUST LIKESOLDIERS WHO HAVE BEEN FIGHTING
00:19:09.008 --> 00:19:10.643
SOLDIERS WHO HAVE BEEN FIGHTINGAND HAVE HAD TO COMPARTMENTALIZE
00:19:10.643 --> 00:19:11.844
AND HAVE HAD TO COMPARTMENTALIZETRAUMA, THEY COME HOME AND IT'S
00:19:11.844 --> 00:19:13.445
TRAUMA, THEY COME HOME AND IT'SNOT UNTIL THEY'RE TRULY SAFE
00:19:13.445 --> 00:19:15.648
NOT UNTIL THEY'RE TRULY SAFETHAT THEY'RE ABLE TO START
00:19:15.648 --> 00:19:16.882
THAT THEY'RE ABLE TO STARTDEALING WITH SOME OF THE
00:19:16.882 --> 00:19:18.250
DEALING WITH SOME OF THEHEALING.
00:19:18.250 --> 00:19:19.285
HEALING.AND THE SAME THINGS HAPPENS TO
00:19:19.285 --> 00:19:21.187
AND THE SAME THINGS HAPPENS TOUS EMOTIONALLY.
00:19:21.187 --> 00:19:22.721
US EMOTIONALLY.WE GET SHOCKED THAT OUT OF THE
00:19:22.721 --> 00:19:23.756
WE GET SHOCKED THAT OUT OF THEBLUE SOMETHING CAN TRIGGER OUR
00:19:23.756 --> 00:19:24.924
BLUE SOMETHING CAN TRIGGER OURTRAUMA.
00:19:24.924 --> 00:19:25.658
TRAUMA.WE REALIZE THERE'S A LITTLE PART
00:19:25.658 --> 00:19:26.525
WE REALIZE THERE'S A LITTLE PARTIN OUR BRAIN CALLED THE
00:19:26.525 --> 00:19:27.826
IN OUR BRAIN CALLED THEAMYGDALA.
00:19:27.826 --> 00:19:30.029
AMYGDALA.AND IT GETS HIJACKED AND WE
00:19:30.029 --> 00:19:30.896
AND IT GETS HIJACKED AND WECAN'T FEEL THINGS RATIONALLY.
00:19:30.896 --> 00:19:34.066
CAN'T FEEL THINGS RATIONALLY.OUR BODIES FEEL THE CRISIS.
00:19:34.066 --> 00:19:35.968
OUR BODIES FEEL THE CRISIS.SO WHEN YOU'RE IN THAT MOMENT OF
00:19:35.968 --> 00:19:38.103
SO WHEN YOU'RE IN THAT MOMENT OFHOLDING TRAUMA, BE GRACIOUS TO
00:19:38.103 --> 00:19:39.939
HOLDING TRAUMA, BE GRACIOUS TOYOURSELF.
00:19:39.939 --> 00:19:41.607
YOURSELF.DO THE THINGS THAT CALM YOUR
00:19:41.607 --> 00:19:44.510
DO THE THINGS THAT CALM YOURSOUL AND AS WE'VE TALKED ABOUT,
00:19:44.510 --> 00:19:48.047
SOUL AND AS WE'VE TALKED ABOUT,FIND A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN PUT
00:19:48.047 --> 00:19:51.183
FIND A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN PUTTHAT RAW FEELING OUT IN A SAFE
00:19:51.183 --> 00:19:52.985
THAT RAW FEELING OUT IN A SAFEWAY AND LET SOMEBODY HELP YOU
00:19:52.985 --> 00:19:56.088
WAY AND LET SOMEBODY HELP YOUORGANIZE THOSE FILES.
00:19:56.088 --> 00:19:57.423
ORGANIZE THOSE FILES.GOD'S SPIRIT WILL DO THAT, BUT
00:19:57.423 --> 00:19:58.958
GOD'S SPIRIT WILL DO THAT, BUTDO THAT IN THE PRESENCE OF
00:19:58.958 --> 00:19:59.892
DO THAT IN THE PRESENCE OFSOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU.
00:19:59.892 --> 00:20:03.095
SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU.AND, THE MOST AMAZING THING IS,
00:20:03.095 --> 00:20:05.331
AND, THE MOST AMAZING THING IS,KAYLA, I JUST HAVE TO SAY AS
00:20:05.331 --> 00:20:06.432
KAYLA, I JUST HAVE TO SAY ASYOU'RE SHARING YOUR STORY, IN
00:20:06.432 --> 00:20:09.001
YOU'RE SHARING YOUR STORY, INYOUR PAIN, YOU HAVE BECOME SO
00:20:09.001 --> 00:20:11.103
YOUR PAIN, YOU HAVE BECOME SOGENEROUS.
00:20:11.103 --> 00:20:13.772
GENEROUS.AND SHEILA, AS YOU'RE TALKING
00:20:13.772 --> 00:20:14.707
AND SHEILA, AS YOU'RE TALKINGABOUT YOURS AND CHRYSTAL, YOUR
00:20:14.707 --> 00:20:17.710
ABOUT YOURS AND CHRYSTAL, YOURLOSS AND TRULY, LAURIE, EVEN IN
00:20:17.710 --> 00:20:21.046
LOSS AND TRULY, LAURIE, EVEN INYOUR LOSS OF BEING ABLE TO BE
00:20:21.046 --> 00:20:22.748
YOUR LOSS OF BEING ABLE TO BEMUSICAL, WHICH, BY THE WAY, I
00:20:22.748 --> 00:20:23.882
MUSICAL, WHICH, BY THE WAY, ICAN'T CARRY A TUNE, IN YOUR
00:20:23.882 --> 00:20:27.253
CAN'T CARRY A TUNE, IN YOURPAIN, YOU'RE AUTHENTICITY IS
00:20:27.253 --> 00:20:27.987
PAIN, YOU'RE AUTHENTICITY ISWHAT DRAWS ME TO YOU.
00:20:27.987 --> 00:20:29.154
WHAT DRAWS ME TO YOU.I'M ALMOST NEVER DRAWN TO ANYONE
00:20:29.154 --> 00:20:30.489
I'M ALMOST NEVER DRAWN TO ANYONEWHO'S PERFECT.
00:20:30.489 --> 00:20:31.690
WHO'S PERFECT.I'M DRAWN TO PEOPLE WHO ARE
00:20:31.690 --> 00:20:34.960
I'M DRAWN TO PEOPLE WHO AREAUTHENTIC.
00:20:34.960 --> 00:20:36.395
AUTHENTIC.AND THAT IS LIKE A HIGHWAY FOR
00:20:36.395 --> 00:20:38.497
AND THAT IS LIKE A HIGHWAY FORCONNECTION.
00:20:38.497 --> 00:20:39.865
CONNECTION.AND THAT CREATES HEALING IN ME.
00:20:39.865 --> 00:20:40.799
AND THAT CREATES HEALING IN ME.AND WITHOUT YOU EVEN KNOWING IT,
00:20:40.799 --> 00:20:43.068
AND WITHOUT YOU EVEN KNOWING IT,YOU'RE TRAUMA AND YOUR PAIN
00:20:43.068 --> 00:20:45.671
YOU'RE TRAUMA AND YOUR PAINBECOMES A ROAD TO HEALING IN MY
00:20:45.671 --> 00:20:46.538
BECOMES A ROAD TO HEALING IN MYHEART FOR MY OWN TRAUMA AND
00:20:46.538 --> 00:20:50.175
HEART FOR MY OWN TRAUMA ANDPAIN.
00:20:50.175 --> 00:20:50.909
PAIN.AND WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING GOD'S
00:20:50.909 --> 00:20:53.779
AND WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING GOD'SCONNECTED US THAT WAY.
00:20:53.779 --> 00:20:58.150
CONNECTED US THAT WAY.- Kayla: I LOVE THAT, LESLIE.
00:20:58.150 --> 00:20:59.351
- Kayla: I LOVE THAT, LESLIE.AND I THINK THAT'S THE BEAUTIFUL
00:20:59.351 --> 00:21:00.853
AND I THINK THAT'S THE BEAUTIFULMYSTERY OF PAIN IS THAT PAIN CAN
00:21:00.853 --> 00:21:01.887
MYSTERY OF PAIN IS THAT PAIN CANBE BEAUTIFUL AND PAIN CAN BE
00:21:01.887 --> 00:21:03.155
BE BEAUTIFUL AND PAIN CAN BEYOUR SUPER POWER.
00:21:03.155 --> 00:21:03.922
YOUR SUPER POWER.AND THAT GOD CAN USE OUR PAIN TO
00:21:03.922 --> 00:21:04.657
AND THAT GOD CAN USE OUR PAIN TOREACH INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S PAIN
00:21:04.657 --> 00:21:08.527
REACH INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S PAINAND GOD CAN USE OUR PAIN TO BE A
00:21:08.527 --> 00:21:09.428
AND GOD CAN USE OUR PAIN TO BE AFRIEND TO OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE
00:21:09.428 --> 00:21:11.063
FRIEND TO OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARESITTING IN PAIN.
00:21:11.063 --> 00:21:12.298
SITTING IN PAIN.AND I THINK WHAT'S BEEN SO
00:21:12.298 --> 00:21:14.600
AND I THINK WHAT'S BEEN SOSPECIAL TO ME ON MY JOURNEY IS
00:21:14.600 --> 00:21:15.634
SPECIAL TO ME ON MY JOURNEY ISTO SEE HOW GOD DID THAT RIGHT
00:21:15.634 --> 00:21:17.970
TO SEE HOW GOD DID THAT RIGHTAWAY.
00:21:17.970 --> 00:21:19.271
AWAY.I MEAN, IT WAS WITHIN DAYS OF
00:21:19.271 --> 00:21:21.240
I MEAN, IT WAS WITHIN DAYS OFANDREW'S DEATH THAT GOD WAS
00:21:21.240 --> 00:21:22.941
ANDREW'S DEATH THAT GOD WASALREADY AT WORK REDEEMING THE
00:21:22.941 --> 00:21:25.110
ALREADY AT WORK REDEEMING THETRAGEDY, REDEEMING THE TRAUMA
00:21:25.110 --> 00:21:28.347
TRAGEDY, REDEEMING THE TRAUMAAND IT WAS ALL BECAUSE WE WERE
00:21:28.347 --> 00:21:29.915
AND IT WAS ALL BECAUSE WE WEREWILLING TO TALK ABOUT WHAT
00:21:29.915 --> 00:21:31.817
WILLING TO TALK ABOUT WHATHAPPENED AND WE WERE WILLING TO
00:21:31.817 --> 00:21:32.785
HAPPENED AND WE WERE WILLING TOSAY THE WORD SUICIDE AND WE WERE
00:21:32.785 --> 00:21:35.220
SAY THE WORD SUICIDE AND WE WEREWILLING TO SHARE OUR PAIN WITH
00:21:35.220 --> 00:21:36.922
WILLING TO SHARE OUR PAIN WITHOTHERS AND TO WRITE BLOGS, OUR
00:21:36.922 --> 00:21:38.357
OTHERS AND TO WRITE BLOGS, OURWHOLE FAMILY, TO WRITE BLOGS AND
00:21:38.357 --> 00:21:39.725
WHOLE FAMILY, TO WRITE BLOGS ANDTO SHARE ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
00:21:39.725 --> 00:21:41.827
TO SHARE ON SOCIAL MEDIA.AND I THINK THAT PAIN HAS BECOME
00:21:41.827 --> 00:21:43.429
AND I THINK THAT PAIN HAS BECOMEMY PURPOSE NOW AS I MOVE
00:21:43.429 --> 00:21:45.431
MY PURPOSE NOW AS I MOVEFORWARD.
00:21:45.431 --> 00:21:48.000
FORWARD.AND FOR THE FIRST YEAR I HELD ON
00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:49.702
AND FOR THE FIRST YEAR I HELD ONTO THAT PAIN AND I WAS JUST SO
00:21:49.702 --> 00:21:53.439
TO THAT PAIN AND I WAS JUST SOOVERCOME AND SO OVERTAKEN AND IN
00:21:53.439 --> 00:21:55.641
OVERCOME AND SO OVERTAKEN AND INTHIS DARKNESS OF THE PAIN AND
00:21:55.641 --> 00:21:57.409
THIS DARKNESS OF THE PAIN ANDNOW AS I'M MOVING FORWARD AND
00:21:57.409 --> 00:21:59.745
NOW AS I'M MOVING FORWARD ANDI'M HEADED TOWARDS THE TWO-YEAR
00:21:59.745 --> 00:22:01.914
I'M HEADED TOWARDS THE TWO-YEARMARK, IT'S LIKE NOW I HAVE THIS
00:22:01.914 --> 00:22:04.483
MARK, IT'S LIKE NOW I HAVE THISREVERENCE AND THIS AWE AND
00:22:04.483 --> 00:22:06.919
REVERENCE AND THIS AWE ANDRESPECT FOR THE PAIN.
00:22:06.919 --> 00:22:09.621
RESPECT FOR THE PAIN.AND WHO IT'S MAKING ME BECOME
00:22:09.621 --> 00:22:11.690
AND WHO IT'S MAKING ME BECOMEAND WHO I'M BECOMING BECAUSE OF
00:22:11.690 --> 00:22:13.258
AND WHO I'M BECOMING BECAUSE OFTHE PAIN AND WHO IT'S PUSHING ME
00:22:13.258 --> 00:22:15.527
THE PAIN AND WHO IT'S PUSHING METOWARDS BEING AND HOW IT'S
00:22:15.527 --> 00:22:16.495
TOWARDS BEING AND HOW IT'SPUSHED ME TOWARDS GOD.
00:22:16.495 --> 00:22:19.298
PUSHED ME TOWARDS GOD.THE PRESENCE OF GOD AFTER PAIN,
00:22:19.298 --> 00:22:22.568
THE PRESENCE OF GOD AFTER PAIN,I MISS, I MISS THAT INTIMACY
00:22:22.568 --> 00:22:24.169
I MISS, I MISS THAT INTIMACYTHAT I HAD WITH GOD RIGHT AFTER
00:22:24.169 --> 00:22:25.971
THAT I HAD WITH GOD RIGHT AFTERANDREW DIED.
00:22:25.971 --> 00:22:27.940
ANDREW DIED.LIKE, GOD WAS SO NEAR AND HE WAS
00:22:27.940 --> 00:22:29.174
LIKE, GOD WAS SO NEAR AND HE WASSO CLOSE.
00:22:29.174 --> 00:22:30.476
SO CLOSE.LIKE THAT VERSE SAYS, THE LORD
00:22:30.476 --> 00:22:32.044
LIKE THAT VERSE SAYS, THE LORDIS NEAR TO THE BROKEN HEARTED
00:22:32.044 --> 00:22:33.412
IS NEAR TO THE BROKEN HEARTEDAND COMFORTS THOSE WHO ARE
00:22:33.412 --> 00:22:34.680
AND COMFORTS THOSE WHO ARECRUSHED IN SPIRIT.
00:22:34.680 --> 00:22:35.681
CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.IT'S JUST SO TRUE AND GOD WAS SO
00:22:35.681 --> 00:22:38.050
IT'S JUST SO TRUE AND GOD WAS SOCLOSE AND I FELT HIS PRESENCE SO
00:22:38.050 --> 00:22:39.651
CLOSE AND I FELT HIS PRESENCE SOTANGIBLY.
00:22:39.651 --> 00:22:42.287
TANGIBLY.NOW I FIND MYSELF MISSING-- I
00:22:42.287 --> 00:22:44.490
NOW I FIND MYSELF MISSING-- IMISS THAT CLOSENESS WITH GOD AND
00:22:44.490 --> 00:22:47.126
MISS THAT CLOSENESS WITH GOD ANDI'M SO GRATEFUL THAT I HAD THAT
00:22:47.126 --> 00:22:49.194
I'M SO GRATEFUL THAT I HAD THATAND THAT WAS MY MANNA THAT I
00:22:49.194 --> 00:22:51.029
AND THAT WAS MY MANNA THAT INEEDED FOR THAT SEASON AND NOW
00:22:51.029 --> 00:22:53.432
NEEDED FOR THAT SEASON AND NOWAS I'M MOVING IT'S LIKE I CAN
00:22:53.432 --> 00:22:55.067
AS I'M MOVING IT'S LIKE I CANLOOK BACK AND I KNOW GOD WAS
00:22:55.067 --> 00:22:57.503
LOOK BACK AND I KNOW GOD WASWITH ME BEFORE ANDREW DIED.
00:22:57.503 --> 00:22:59.738
WITH ME BEFORE ANDREW DIED.I KNOW GOD WAS WITH ME AFTER,
00:22:59.738 --> 00:23:01.173
I KNOW GOD WAS WITH ME AFTER,RIGHT AFTER ANDREW DIED.
00:23:01.173 --> 00:23:03.075
RIGHT AFTER ANDREW DIED.AND I KNOW GOD IS WITH ME NOW AS
00:23:03.075 --> 00:23:04.076
AND I KNOW GOD IS WITH ME NOW ASI CONTINUE MOVING FORWARD WITH
00:23:04.076 --> 00:23:08.113
I CONTINUE MOVING FORWARD WITHMY PAIN AND CONTINUE LEARNING
00:23:08.113 --> 00:23:09.248
MY PAIN AND CONTINUE LEARNINGWHAT TO DO WITH MY PAIN AND HOW
00:23:09.248 --> 00:23:13.886
WHAT TO DO WITH MY PAIN AND HOWTO LIVE WITH THIS PAIN.
00:23:13.886 --> 00:23:15.020
TO LIVE WITH THIS PAIN.BECAUSE THE PAIN WILL ALWAYS BE
00:23:15.020 --> 00:23:17.122
BECAUSE THE PAIN WILL ALWAYS BETHERE.
00:23:17.122 --> 00:23:17.689
THERE.LIKE WE SAID BEFORE.
00:23:17.689 --> 00:23:18.390
LIKE WE SAID BEFORE.THE PAIN WILL ALWAYS BE A PART
00:23:18.390 --> 00:23:19.825
THE PAIN WILL ALWAYS BE A PARTOF MY LIFE AND A PART OF MY
00:23:19.825 --> 00:23:21.293
OF MY LIFE AND A PART OF MYCHILDREN'S LIFE AND SO, IT'S
00:23:21.293 --> 00:23:22.461
CHILDREN'S LIFE AND SO, IT'SLEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH THAT
00:23:22.461 --> 00:23:26.165
LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH THATPAIN AND BUILDING A BEAUTIFUL
00:23:26.165 --> 00:23:30.536
PAIN AND BUILDING A BEAUTIFULLIFE AROUND IT AND I TRULY
00:23:30.536 --> 00:23:32.337
LIFE AROUND IT AND I TRULYBELIEVE WITH GOD, THAT BUILDING
00:23:32.337 --> 00:23:33.405
BELIEVE WITH GOD, THAT BUILDINGA BEAUTIFUL LIFE IS POSSIBLE.
00:23:33.405 --> 00:23:34.273
A BEAUTIFUL LIFE IS POSSIBLE.AND SO I WANT TO PRAY FOR OUR
00:23:34.273 --> 00:23:35.073
AND SO I WANT TO PRAY FOR OURFRIENDS THAT ARE SITTING IN
00:23:35.073 --> 00:23:35.808
FRIENDS THAT ARE SITTING INTRAUMA OR SITTING IN GRIEF OR
00:23:35.808 --> 00:23:37.242
TRAUMA OR SITTING IN GRIEF ORSITTING IN LOSS AND ARE
00:23:37.242 --> 00:23:38.444
SITTING IN LOSS AND ARESTRUGGLING TO SEE THE BEAUTY IN
00:23:38.444 --> 00:23:40.479
STRUGGLING TO SEE THE BEAUTY INIT AND ARE STRUGGLING TO FIND
00:23:40.479 --> 00:23:42.281
IT AND ARE STRUGGLING TO FINDGOD IN IT AND ARE OVERWHELMED
00:23:42.281 --> 00:23:44.082
GOD IN IT AND ARE OVERWHELMEDWITH PAIN, LET'S PRAY TOGETHER.
00:23:44.082 --> 00:23:45.818
WITH PAIN, LET'S PRAY TOGETHER.GOD, I THANK YOU FOR YOUR
00:23:45.818 --> 00:23:46.485
GOD, I THANK YOU FOR YOURPRESENCE.
00:23:46.485 --> 00:23:50.055
PRESENCE.I THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMFORT.
00:23:50.055 --> 00:23:52.958
I THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMFORT.I THANK YOU FOR YOUR PEACE.
00:23:52.958 --> 00:23:54.827
I THANK YOU FOR YOUR PEACE.GOD, I THANK YOU THAT YOU KNOW
00:23:54.827 --> 00:23:57.162
GOD, I THANK YOU THAT YOU KNOWTHE PAIN BECAUSE YOU LIVED THE
00:23:57.162 --> 00:23:58.163
THE PAIN BECAUSE YOU LIVED THEPAIN, GOD, YOU SENT YOUR SON
00:23:58.163 --> 00:24:00.065
PAIN, GOD, YOU SENT YOUR SONJESUS TO SAVE US ALL FOREVER,
00:24:00.065 --> 00:24:01.733
JESUS TO SAVE US ALL FOREVER,LORD, AND THAT HE ENDURED THE
00:24:01.733 --> 00:24:03.869
LORD, AND THAT HE ENDURED THEMOST AMOUNT OF PAIN, GOD, AND HE
00:24:03.869 --> 00:24:05.871
MOST AMOUNT OF PAIN, GOD, AND HEUNDERSTANDS OUR PAIN.
00:24:05.871 --> 00:24:07.873
UNDERSTANDS OUR PAIN.AND WE SERVE A GOD THAT
00:24:07.873 --> 00:24:08.674
AND WE SERVE A GOD THATUNDERSTANDS OUR PAIN, GOD AND
00:24:08.674 --> 00:24:11.610
UNDERSTANDS OUR PAIN, GOD ANDI'M SO GRATEFUL, SO LORD, I PRAY
00:24:11.610 --> 00:24:13.178
I'M SO GRATEFUL, SO LORD, I PRAYFOR OUR FRIENDS WHO ARE SITTING
00:24:13.178 --> 00:24:14.947
FOR OUR FRIENDS WHO ARE SITTINGIN THE TRENCHES OF IT RIGHT NOW.
00:24:14.947 --> 00:24:16.949
IN THE TRENCHES OF IT RIGHT NOW.GOD, WHERE IT'S A DARK CLOUD AND
00:24:16.949 --> 00:24:19.751
GOD, WHERE IT'S A DARK CLOUD ANDTHEY DON'T KNOW WHEN THE LIGHT
00:24:19.751 --> 00:24:21.553
THEY DON'T KNOW WHEN THE LIGHTIS GOING TO BREAK THROUGH AND
00:24:21.553 --> 00:24:23.021
IS GOING TO BREAK THROUGH ANDTHEY'RE SEARCHING FOR IT AND
00:24:23.021 --> 00:24:24.423
THEY'RE SEARCHING FOR IT ANDTHEY'RE LOOKING FOR YOU AND
00:24:24.423 --> 00:24:25.624
THEY'RE LOOKING FOR YOU ANDTHEY'RE WANTING THE LIGHT TO
00:24:25.624 --> 00:24:26.825
THEY'RE WANTING THE LIGHT TOBREAK THROUGH, GOD, AND I PRAY
00:24:26.825 --> 00:24:27.960
BREAK THROUGH, GOD, AND I PRAYTHAT YOU WOULD JUST BREAK
00:24:27.960 --> 00:24:29.161
THAT YOU WOULD JUST BREAKTHROUGH TO THEM.
00:24:29.161 --> 00:24:30.429
THROUGH TO THEM.I PRAY THAT YOU WOULD SEND
00:24:30.429 --> 00:24:31.730
I PRAY THAT YOU WOULD SENDSOMEBODY TO DROP OFF A MEAL,
00:24:31.730 --> 00:24:33.398
SOMEBODY TO DROP OFF A MEAL,THAT YOU WOULD SEND A TEXT
00:24:33.398 --> 00:24:35.133
THAT YOU WOULD SEND A TEXTMESSAGE, THAT YOU WOULD SEND A
00:24:35.133 --> 00:24:36.768
MESSAGE, THAT YOU WOULD SEND AWORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT, MAYBE
00:24:36.768 --> 00:24:39.171
WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT, MAYBETHROUGH A PODCAST OR A SONG OR A
00:24:39.171 --> 00:24:41.373
THROUGH A PODCAST OR A SONG OR ASCRIPTURE THAT THEY WOULD JUST
00:24:41.373 --> 00:24:42.608
SCRIPTURE THAT THEY WOULD JUSTKNOW THAT YOU ARE NEAR.
00:24:42.608 --> 00:24:43.876
KNOW THAT YOU ARE NEAR.AND THAT YOU CARE.
00:24:43.876 --> 00:24:46.845
AND THAT YOU CARE.AND THAT THEY ARE NOT A BURDEN
00:24:46.845 --> 00:24:47.713
AND THAT THEY ARE NOT A BURDENAND THAT THEY ARE NOT FORGOTTEN
00:24:47.713 --> 00:24:49.648
AND THAT THEY ARE NOT FORGOTTENAND THAT THEIR PAIN WILL NOT
00:24:49.648 --> 00:24:51.183
AND THAT THEIR PAIN WILL NOTLAST FOREVER, GOD, AND THAT YOU
00:24:51.183 --> 00:24:52.317
LAST FOREVER, GOD, AND THAT YOUWANT TO INVADE THE PAIN WITH
00:24:52.317 --> 00:24:54.386
WANT TO INVADE THE PAIN WITHYOUR PEACE.
00:24:54.386 --> 00:24:56.688
YOUR PEACE.GOD, I THANK YOU FOR THAT HOPE.
00:24:56.688 --> 00:24:58.624
GOD, I THANK YOU FOR THAT HOPE.I THANK YOU THAT WE HAVE HOPE.
00:24:58.624 --> 00:25:00.893
I THANK YOU THAT WE HAVE HOPE.I THANK YOU THAT WE HAVE HEAVEN.
00:25:00.893 --> 00:25:03.462
I THANK YOU THAT WE HAVE HEAVEN.I THANK YOU THAT THIS IS JUST
00:25:03.462 --> 00:25:04.630
I THANK YOU THAT THIS IS JUSTTHE FIRST INCH OF LIFE AND THAT
00:25:04.630 --> 00:25:08.700
THE FIRST INCH OF LIFE AND THATETERNAL JOY IS WAITING FOR US
00:25:08.700 --> 00:25:12.471
ETERNAL JOY IS WAITING FOR USFOREVER, GOD, SO I PRAY THAT YOU
00:25:12.471 --> 00:25:13.238
FOREVER, GOD, SO I PRAY THAT YOUWOULD HELP US CLING TO YOU WHEN
00:25:13.238 --> 00:25:13.972
WOULD HELP US CLING TO YOU WHENWE ARE IN PAIN, THAT YOU WOULD
00:25:13.972 --> 00:25:16.141
WE ARE IN PAIN, THAT YOU WOULDHELP US RUN TO YOU AND SIT WITH
00:25:16.141 --> 00:25:17.509
HELP US RUN TO YOU AND SIT WITHYOU AND ASK FOR YOUR HELP, GOD.
00:25:17.509 --> 00:25:18.443
YOU AND ASK FOR YOUR HELP, GOD.AND I THANK YOU FOR THE WAY THAT
00:25:18.443 --> 00:25:19.411
AND I THANK YOU FOR THE WAY THATYOU ALWAYS COME THROUGH.
00:25:19.411 --> 00:25:21.313
YOU ALWAYS COME THROUGH.IN YOUR MIGHTY NAME I PRAY,
00:25:21.313 --> 00:25:26.351
IN YOUR MIGHTY NAME I PRAY,AMEN.
00:25:26.351 --> 00:25:28.921
AMEN.- Laurie: AMEN.
00:25:28.921 --> 00:25:30.355
- Laurie: AMEN.SO GOOD.
00:25:30.355 --> 00:25:30.923
SO GOOD.THANK YOU, KAYLA.
00:25:30.923 --> 00:25:32.124
THANK YOU, KAYLA.YOU KNOW OUR "BETTER TOGETHER"
00:25:32.124 --> 00:25:32.824
YOU KNOW OUR "BETTER TOGETHER"COMMUNITY IS ALWAYS HERE FOR
00:25:32.824 --> 00:25:33.458
COMMUNITY IS ALWAYS HERE FORYOU.
00:25:33.458 --> 00:25:34.159
YOU.YOU CAN CONNECT WITH US ON
00:25:34.159 --> 00:25:34.927
YOU CAN CONNECT WITH US ONSOCIAL MEDIA AND LET US KNOW HOW
00:25:34.927 --> 00:25:35.661
SOCIAL MEDIA AND LET US KNOW HOWWE CAN PRAY FOR YOU.
00:25:35.661 --> 00:25:36.395
WE CAN PRAY FOR YOU.THANK YOU FOR JOINING US TODAY.
00:25:36.395 --> 00:25:38.263
THANK YOU FOR JOINING US TODAY.AS MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEK
00:25:38.263 --> 00:25:40.899
AS MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEKCOMES TO AN END, IT DOES NOT
00:25:40.899 --> 00:25:42.100
COMES TO AN END, IT DOES NOTMEAN OUR WORK IS OVER.
00:25:42.100 --> 00:25:43.735
MEAN OUR WORK IS OVER.TOGETHER WE CAN OFFER SUPPORT
00:25:43.735 --> 00:25:46.204
TOGETHER WE CAN OFFER SUPPORTAND CREATE POSITIVE CHANGE.
00:25:46.204 --> 00:25:47.272
AND CREATE POSITIVE CHANGE.TOMORROW WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT
00:25:47.272 --> 00:25:48.774
TOMORROW WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUTHOW TO CONTINUE THIS
00:25:48.774 --> 00:25:51.076
HOW TO CONTINUE THISCONVERSATION IN OUR HOMES, OUR
00:25:51.076 --> 00:25:52.277
CONVERSATION IN OUR HOMES, OURCOMMUNITIES AND OUR CHURCHES.
00:25:52.277 --> 00:25:52.978
COMMUNITIES AND OUR CHURCHES.WE'LL SEE YOU THEN.
00:25:52.978 --> 00:25:55.514
WE'LL SEE YOU THEN.WE LOVE YOU, BYE BYE.
00:25:55.514 --> 00:26:05.000

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Better Together LIVE | Episode 39

Better Together LIVE | Episode 39

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Menu Top

Better Together LIVE | Episode 39

Better Together LIVE | Episode 39

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